1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:05,767
Sacred Heart.
Eight years of great memories.

2
00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:08,831
This place will live forever.

3
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,637
They tore down the old crappy hospital

4
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,942
and rebuilt it
on the med school campus.

5
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:15,948
I'm just back to teach some classes.

6
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:18,951
First, though, I need to do
my morning good-luck ritual.

7
00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:24,188
And seven. That's one good-luck kiss
for every month you've been in there.

8
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:26,052
- Are you done yet?
- Not yet.

9
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:29,550
And thank you for making
Mommy's boobs so much bigger.

10
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,594
They're almost jugs.

11
00:00:31,831 --> 00:00:33,765
Seriously, I think I can
probably rest them on your head.

12
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,631
- Check it out.
- Okay.

13
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:38,965
Yeah. Whoa, talk about
a 10-gallon hat.

14
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,866
How cool is that?

15
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:43,708
Donny, no questions right now, okay?
This is private.

16
00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:47,611
- They're still looking.
- I said this is private! Turn around!

17
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,842
- That was heavy.
- Hey, do good today.

18
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,451
- Bye.
- Bye.

19
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,457
I can still feel them on my head.

20
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:00,953
How sweet is he?

21
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,894
Part of me hates
how familiar this seems.

22
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:08,423
I hope I can find a way
to make this all feel new.

23
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,802
Oh, my God,
the first day of med school.

24
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,670
Everything is so new.
I mean, just look at all these people

25
00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:16,197
who don't know
that I used to wear a back brace.

26
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,869
I can look left.

27
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:23,510
Yep, new sights, new sounds,
even new smells.

28
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,714
- Kiwi.
- What?

29
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,144
- I smell kiwi.
- Yeah, it's my shampoo.

30
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,885
- I love kiwis, okay?
- I love them, too.

31
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:36,121
Actually that's not true. They're hairy.
They look like monkey nuts.

32
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,494
Don't smell people. It's weird.

33
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,790
- I'm Lucy.
- I don't care.

34
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,734
Regroup, Lucy. Find an ally.

35
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:49,299
- Hi. I'm Lucy.
- Cole.

36
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,108
Hey, after class
you want to go somewhere

37
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,634
and get weird with each other?

38
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,374
I feel like you skipped a few steps.

39
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:57,406
Hey, come on.
You already know if you're in or out.

40
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,577
So, what's the deal, girl?

41
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,918
Not interested.

42
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,286
Medicine is...

43
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,324
Well, it's a dead career.

44
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,992
Thanks to insurance companies
and malpractice lawyers,

45
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:22,941
you have absolutely no hope of finding
a rewarding or satisfying profession

46
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,206
in this once-noble field.

47
00:02:25,778 --> 00:02:30,078
The only exception to this very
true rule is the following.

48
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:34,977
If you are lucky enough to go
to a great medical school,

49
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,683
then, my children, you got a real shot.

50
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:40,418
Unfortunately, you're all screwed,

51
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:44,157
because to call this particular school
a craphouse

52
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,529
would be
an honest-to-God compliment.

53
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,228
Plus, I'm the only teacher here
worth a damn

54
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,737
and I already hate
each and every one of you.

55
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:53,966
Would you like to know why?

56
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:58,271
Well, it turns out you're not actually
medical students at all.

57
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:01,474
You are all murderers and assassins
that have been sent here

58
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,641
to try to kill my patients.

59
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:07,449
Here's the bottom line. If you do
get a good, clean kill on a patient,

60
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:10,547
go ahead and take a pinkie
or an ear as a trophy.

61
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,582
I get that, I do.
But, please, also know this.

62
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,221
I'm ready for you, have been for a while.

63
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:18,457
So watch your ass. Good day.

64
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,460
Okay, I hope everyone enjoyed
orientation with Dr. Cox.

65
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:24,800
I'm Dr. Mahoney, your student advisor.

66
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:27,738
Here's some crappy pizza.
Commence feeding.

67
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,042
You joining us, Gramps?

68
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,236
You know, 'cause you're old
for a med student.

69
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,577
They told me to give out fun nicknames
for team building.

70
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:38,880
- It's working.
- Look, uh, Drew,

71
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:43,050
I don't like dealing with, well, people,

72
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:46,081
and all these kids
obviously look up to you.

73
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,255
I've never spoken
to any of these people.

74
00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,818
I can still feel a bond.

75
00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:53,389
And I thought, why don't you deal with
the whiny emotional stuff,

76
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,402
and in return, I will let you do that.

77
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,465
Look, just let me fly under the radar.

78
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,336
Please.

79
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:08,673
I guess I should answer
any annoying questions you all have.

80
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,239
Yeah, Monkey Nuts.

81
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:14,549
I just wanted to thank you, on behalf
of all of us, for getting us pizza.

82
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,078
There, smelling incident fixed.

83
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,250
Yeah, they gave me money to do it,

84
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:23,023
along with free room and board
to attend to your emotional needs.

85
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:25,860
Speaking of which,
little administrative thing.

86
00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:29,857
If you're going to kill yourself,
I'm looking at you, Sad Eyes,

87
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:34,397
do it off-campus
because it's a butt-load of paperwork.

88
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:40,910
All right, everyone, pay attention,
because my spleen is right here.

89
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:45,346
Whoops, that feels more like
my private-time area.

90
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:48,377
Wouldn't it be easier if you could see
what you were doing?

91
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,719
This is the way I'm doing it, Cole.

92
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:51,985
Or maybe you're just uncomfortable

93
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:55,517
because it's a black man's head
on a fake white man's body.

94
00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:58,962
That's right, people,
it just got real up in here.

95
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:03,835
In my class, you will each be graded
by the color of your skin.

96
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,665
If you're white, raise your hand.

97
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:07,832
"F's."

98
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,400
- There he is.
- Yes!

99
00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:16,842
- Turk! Up here!
- Dude, what the hell are you doing?

100
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:21,110
I thought it'd be more dramatic
if we spotted each other from afar,

101
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,315
and then ran to see each other!

102
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:24,448
But now, if we meet in the middle,

103
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,788
we'll wind up
somewhere inside the hospital,

104
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,317
and this really feels like
more of an outside thing.

105
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:31,557
If you count to 10 before you run,

106
00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:34,657
I should be able to get downstairs
and over to you!

107
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,966
I'm already counting!

108
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:39,931
Three, four...

109
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:42,406
- Hey, Dr. Turk.
- Not now, Denise.

110
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,806
- Turk!
- I'm late, gotta go.

111
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,707
Let's go, it's guy love

112
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:54,243
Don't compromise
the feeling of some other guy

113
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:58,053
Holding up your heart into the sky

114
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:04,129
I'll be there to care
through all the lows

115
00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:08,566
I'll be there to share the highs

116
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:14,631
It's guy love between two guys

117
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,208
Mmm, you smell like prison.

118
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,768
When was the last time
you guys saw each other?

119
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,541
This morning. We carpooled.

120
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:23,640
But we haven't worked together
in over a year.

121
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:24,877
You know what I'd like to do now?

122
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,908
Is it go to Vermont
and make this thing legal?

123
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:29,421
Talk to the hand. Remember that?

124
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:34,115
Eagle! Oh, hey, Perry.

125
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,526
I'm really looking forward
to teaching with you.

126
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:39,087
Onward, eagle!

127
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,667
Oh, good God.

128
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:49,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP

129
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,613
So, that's what you're going to wear
to teach?

130
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,745
I'll have you know,
this is the very jacket

131
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,256
worn by Michelle Pfeiffer
in Dangerous Minds.

132
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,349
All I had to do
was sew these elbow patches on

133
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:08,656
and take the shoulder pads out.

134
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:10,628
By the way, whatever happened
to the Janitor?

135
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:14,064
Oh, dude, it was the day after you left.

136
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,126
When's that little buddy of yours
coming back?

137
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:20,003
He's never coming back.
He's gone for good.

138
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:23,099
- He's right here, isn't he?
- Where would I be hiding him?

139
00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:25,303
- But he's coming back...
- No.

140
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:28,404
...after his vacation.
- No.

141
00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:37,521
And no one ever saw him again.

142
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:44,153
- Dr. Kelso? What are you doing here?
- I'm teaching a couple of classes.

143
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,391
J.D.'s going to teach here, too.

144
00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:49,731
Oh, Turk, sometimes I'll teach them,
sometimes they'll teach me.

145
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:52,567
But we're always
gonna inspire each other.

146
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:55,335
You're still such an odd little fruit.

147
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:56,936
Is that a woman's jacket?

148
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,466
- No, it's a men's small.
- Yes, it's actually a jacket

149
00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,376
- from Dangerous Minds.
- He doesn't need to know that.

150
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:04,144
Dr. Kelso, I heard about Enid's passing.

151
00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:07,853
- I'm so sorry.
- Well, you bottom out,

152
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,722
and then you persevere.

153
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,520
I feel like I can say the worst is over.

154
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:16,323
- How long ago did she pass?
- About two days.

155
00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:17,386
Oh!

156
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,300
- I'm a frequent flier.
- Congrats, I guess.

157
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,933
No, no, no. That means
I'm in and out of the hospital a lot.

158
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:24,994
Oh.

159
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:29,736
- Ben. Ischemic bowel disease.
- Lucy. I'm a med student.

160
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:33,438
- You look like you could use a grape.
- Thanks, Ben, I really could.

161
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:35,538
No stealing food from patients.

162
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,414
Gather around, murderers.
Gather around.

163
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,910
I saw that. Spit it out.

164
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,957
Now, eat it again.
At least we know you're a good listener.

165
00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:46,253
Score!

166
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,925
You should all follow 19's lead.

167
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:52,362
And I call her 19
because instead of using your names,

168
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:55,458
I am going to go by
where you currently rank in my head.

169
00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:56,991
Now, who can tell me

170
00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:01,302
what artery goes above the optic
chiasm to the cerebral hemispheres?

171
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,569
Supermodel in the back.

172
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:07,204
I'm fairly
certain it's the anterior cerebral artery.

173
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,773
- What?
- The anterior cerebral artery.

174
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,242
I'm not understanding
a word that she's saying.

175
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:18,280
And, people, I can teach anyone.
You just gotta speak English.

176
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:21,421
- I'm Australian.
- Still not getting it.

177
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:23,691
Everyone, leave.

178
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:29,759
- I'm sorry about the grape thing.
- Don't sweat it, 42.

179
00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:32,861
Is my number going down
because I'm talking to you?

180
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:38,944
- Why was Michael in my room?
- His name isn't Michael.

181
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:40,872
Well, he has a weird Serbian name
that I can't say,

182
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,778
so I'm calling him Michael. He loves it.

183
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:46,649
- I don't. My name is Ilyavich.
- Mike, just go.

184
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:50,916
Young Michael informed me
that you told everyone to come to me

185
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,926
- with their personal problems.
- Yeah, I did.

186
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,188
I checked on you.

187
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:57,752
You've already been to med school
once already when you were 21,

188
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:01,255
and you didn't just flame out.
You like... You went nuclear.

189
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,167
- Seriously, how was prison?
- It was cold.

190
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,269
You couldn't just let me be.

191
00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:09,172
Well, I'm gonna take the high road
and not mention your mannish voice

192
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:12,575
and all the pictures you have in here
of your friends.

193
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,409
Tell me, which one's your BFF?

194
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,847
- You are a giant douche.
- I know.

195
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,146
- Wanna take a shower together?
- Fine.

196
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:26,214
You know, you think you're so hot,
but I'm not a fan.

197
00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:29,352
Hey, I'm not happy
about this, either, okay?

198
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:33,254
Lights, camera, teach.

199
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,462
Welcome to internal medicine, gang.

200
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:40,632
My name is Dr. John Dorian.

201
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,766
- Hey, should we be taking notes?
- That's a good question, fellow.

202
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:46,642
What I'll tell you is,
I don't like to really stop.

203
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:47,873
That ruins my flow.

204
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:51,314
So, what I'm gonna do
is give a subtle nod, like so,

205
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,185
as a signal, okay?
Now, back to my name.

206
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,155
I prefer "Dr. D," or in a pinch,
"Dr. Dizzle,"

207
00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:00,215
- but if you see me out in the quad...
- There is no quad.

208
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:04,195
I'm not a big fan of the TAs
doing a lot of speaking, Denise. Okay?

209
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,494
Wait, wait.
That was an accidental nod, you guys.

210
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:10,263
No note-taking. No note-taking, okay?

211
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,896
Now, if you see me out in the quad,

212
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,931
I want you to think of me
as more than your teacher.

213
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:19,376
I'm also your friend, all right?

214
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:25,107
Okay, we're definitely gonna need
a new signal for the note-taking thing.

215
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:30,082
This guy's trying to die on me again.
Who wants to play patient roulette?

216
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,117
Please not me, please not me.

217
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:38,763
It ain't no use running, little girl!

218
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:43,667
First one bringing me a med student
gets a juicy bone. He gets a juicy bone.

219
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:46,364
You go get them! Woo!

220
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,100
Ninety-one, here's how we play.

221
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,473
I'm not gonna do anything
to help this dying man

222
00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:54,411
until you answer
these three very simple questions.

223
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,539
What is it called when a blood clot

224
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:57,310
occludes a branch
of the pulmonary artery?

225
00:11:57,349 --> 00:11:59,715
What is it called when tuberculosis
affects the spine?

226
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:02,186
And what was the name
of the African NBA center

227
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,951
who did this
whenever he blocked a shot?

228
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:08,783
Ooh, I'd hurry. His heart's slowing down.

229
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,058
And he's dead.

230
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,327
Not because of you. I'm not insane.

231
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:15,356
He was dead
when we walked over here.

232
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:18,598
But just a stunningly horrible job,
nonetheless.

233
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,970
All right, we finally found
a signal that works. Jazz hands, love it.

234
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,681
Guys, tomorrow you'll be
divided into groups

235
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:32,047
and you'll be given your cadavers.

236
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:36,316
So, great first day, everybody.
Who wants to keep this party going?

237
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:42,525
If so, meet me back here at 6:00.
I will have beers, on me.

238
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:46,125
Everyone, take a mix CD
on their way out.

239
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:49,328
For those of you who are fans
of a young Ms. Miley Cyrus,

240
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:52,701
I recommend the green ones.
She's heavily featured.

241
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,874
- Dr. Cox...
- Professor.

242
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,302
- Professor Cox...
- Actually, it's both.

243
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,472
- Doctor-Professor Cox?
- Yes?

244
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,773
Sometimes I feel like
you're not even trying to teach me.

245
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:05,841
I'm not.

246
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:09,150
I generally don't waste time
on people who aren't going to make it.

247
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,383
Oh! Thanks.

248
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:12,788
Thanks?

249
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:21,390
- Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
- What do you want?

250
00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:26,200
Well, I get the whole trial-by-fire thing,
and you're wonderful at it, really.

251
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,172
- Don't ever touch me.
- Sorry. Um...

252
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:30,767
But you seem to go out of your way
to pick on the weakest kids.

253
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,677
Maybe you could, I don't know,
not do that.

254
00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,847
Thank you for the feedback.
It's invaluable.

255
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,543
- You don't mean that, do you?
- I don't.

256
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:41,018
And since you don't see yourself
as one of the weak ones,

257
00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:44,250
maybe a good solution would be
for me to unload

258
00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:47,120
my years of rage and frustration
and pain onto your head,

259
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,059
and your head alone.

260
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:52,395
Are we locked down to that,
or can we keep spitballing here?

261
00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:55,195
- Very locked in.
- Looking forward to it.

262
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,463
Whore!

263
00:13:57,636 --> 00:14:00,799
Not you. Just, something I say
whenever I'm pissed.

264
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,233
And when I'm with a whore.

265
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:07,641
- Whoa.
- None of them showed up.

266
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,471
I got us all these
glow-in-the-dark necklaces

267
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,212
so we wouldn't lose each other
when we were out on the town.

268
00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:17,518
It's their first day of med school.
Come on, you remember how we were.

269
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,715
- Nerds!
- Losers!

270
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,453
I feel so alive.

271
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,429
Everybody at that party had sex.

272
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,330
Come on, let's go get a beer.

273
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:30,827
No.

274
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:36,798
We all go through life worrying
about what other people think of us.

275
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,002
Hey,

276
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:42,139
aren't those your students
in there with Kelso?

277
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,178
Man, I must be the worst teacher ever.

278
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:50,279
The truth is, the harshest words
are the ones we say about ourselves.

279
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:55,487
- Are you okay, sweetie?
- No, Ben.

280
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,762
I don't belong here.

281
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,126
I was so depressed yesterday.

282
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:07,969
To cheer myself up,
I made what I think is a great decision.

283
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:12,471
Sometimes, one perfect night
can change your whole outlook on life.

284
00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:19,974
Yep, I've got a good feeling
about this guy.

285
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,652
Hey, darling, I'm Dr. Cole.
I'll be your physician.

286
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:30,391
So, what are we dealing with here?
"Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma."

287
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,693
- Giant drag.
- Hey.

288
00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:34,656
Come here.

289
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,293
Hope you enjoyed
your last day of med school.

290
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,896
- Yeah, I don't see it.
- I'm sorry, what?

291
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:43,033
You know that bust you pass on your
way to pick up your tiny paycheck?

292
00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:46,636
Notice any resemblance?
Symmetric features, strong jaw?

293
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:50,106
Yeah, that's my pop-pop.
Paid for this whole building.

294
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,276
So here's the skinny. I'm Teflon.

295
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:54,786
You can fire bullets at me if you want,
but be careful.

296
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,721
When they ricochet off me,
they sometimes hit other people.

297
00:15:57,756 --> 00:16:00,122
Puh-ching. Puh-ching.

298
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:01,524
Hey, don't "puh-ching" me.

299
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,653
- Puh-ching.
- Don't you "puh-ching" me!

300
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:07,565
My dad always says
every day is a new day,

301
00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:09,999
so today
I'm gonna be confident, strong,

302
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:12,503
and nothing will knock me
off my game.

303
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:17,172
Who am I kidding? I'm doomed.

304
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:22,306
- Has anyone seen the crash cart?
- It's over by Bed 4.

305
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,573
Now, can you make that out?

306
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:28,609
I think I heard the words "bear fight,"
but that makes no sense.

307
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,883
You're right, that's super fun.
I love doing things with you.

308
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,450
Thanks, Perry, I needed that.

309
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,429
I'm having a little trouble
getting my teacher groove going.

310
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:39,624
Maybe you suck at it.

311
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,860
Why do you have to lash out, Perry?

312
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:45,768
Stay open for business in here.
In your heart-cage.

313
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,497
I guess I'm just tired of weeding out
the weak to protect the rest of the herd

314
00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:50,906
like I always do.

315
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,740
Maybe you could mix it up a little.

316
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:55,804
Try investing emotionally
in one of them.

317
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:59,412
A kid stood up to me just the other day,

318
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:02,144
and I kind of felt connected to him.

319
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,050
Good, good, good.

320
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,249
I'm sure you probably knew him
for all of 30 seconds.

321
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:10,819
It's not like I tried for eight years
or anything to get your love.

322
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,922
I thought we were over this.

323
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,335
I'm drowning here.
I wish there was just someone

324
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,395
who could fly up
and rescue me from all this.

325
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,434
I feel like I'd get back on track

326
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:24,806
if I could just find one student
to connect with.

327
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:27,141
One kid that really needs me.

328
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:30,478
I mean, that's what it's all about, right?
Reaching out.

329
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:34,213
- What's your name?
- Drew.

330
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:38,022
I'm taking an interest in you. Carry on.

331
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:42,688
- That's not good for me, is it?
- Drew, you know I don't care.

332
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,629
Come on, grab me like a man.
Let's do this.

333
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,164
What up, Dizzle?

334
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,403
You dropped something. I got it.

335
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:56,972
I'm not always a believer
in serendipity,

336
00:17:57,009 --> 00:18:00,376
but sometimes the world
just brings things together.

337
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:06,673
- I was chasing that, so it's mine.
- It's a naked picture of me.

338
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:10,417
It fell out of that Cole kid's notebook.

339
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:14,288
Oh, don't be sad. It's just... Oh! Wow!

340
00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:17,557
That is a very graphic
naked picture of you.

341
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,359
You know, we're gonna go over
a lot of that stuff in class.

342
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:21,389
So don't worry about it.
I shouldn't have looked.

343
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,867
I'm both a married man
and a beloved professor.

344
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,961
I know, you're Dr. Dorian.

345
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:30,330
This area's technically the quad,
so it's J.D.

346
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:33,542
- Lucy.
- Nice to meet you, Lucy.

347
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,875
Don't let him leave.
Say something, Lucy.

348
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,343
J. D?

349
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:47,483
- Can I help you with something?
- Dr. Cox is all over me. I can't take it.

350
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:52,588
Come with me. Come with me.

351
00:18:57,169 --> 00:19:00,605
Lucy, to win at the game of Perry Cox,
you have to stand up to him.

352
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,631
He just wants to know that
you're strong enough to survive here.

353
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,337
So you need to go ahead
and show him.

354
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,874
Doctor... Doctor-Professor Cox,

355
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,909
I actually knew the answers
to all your questions.

356
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:16,250
Check it out.

357
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:20,281
Pulmonary embolism. Pott's disease.
And Dikembe Mutombo.

358
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,491
That's fabulous. I don't care.

359
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,626
It's just that you kept yelling

360
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,122
and you had that vein thing
popping out the side of your head.

361
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,658
There it is.

362
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,727
And sometimes I get nervous
under pressure

363
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:35,171
and I forget basic...

364
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,804
You know, the things that you speak.

365
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:41,074
- Words?
- Yes! Words. People speak words.

366
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,973
Look, when you have a patient
coding on the table,

367
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,109
what, are you gonna tell
the whole room to stop screaming

368
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:49,609
- so that you don't get nervous?
- No.

369
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:53,421
Ooh, I know that face. You're a crier.

370
00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:56,057
You cry.

371
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:59,325
I have not cried once
in my entire adult life,

372
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:02,231
and I am not gonna start now
because of you.

373
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,632
We'll see.

374
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,337
Be strong.

375
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,530
And Dr. Cox,

376
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:15,637
if you do make me cry,
it won't be a big deal, because I lied.

377
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:19,773
I cry all the time.

378
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:21,877
Oh, good God.

379
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,816
Little victories count for a lot
around here,

380
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:31,219
even if you never asked to win
in the first place.

381
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:36,098
Congrats.
I am now going to expect more from you

382
00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:39,297
than I've expected
from a med student, ever.

383
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:42,233
Whore.

384
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:46,200
And you have to enjoy
those nice moments while you can.

385
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,940
This is your group's cadaver
for the semester.

386
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:54,214
Because around here,
they never last very long.

387
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,178
Treat him well.

388
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:59,346
I wonder what this guy's deal was.

389
00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:00,984
Ben.

390
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,357
His name was Ben.

391
00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:12,331
Hey.

392
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:13,998
- Would you get off...
- Why are we whispering?

393
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,836
I got a little mad at that Cole kid

394
00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:19,139
and I threw a blanket over his head
and then sat on him.

395
00:21:19,177 --> 00:21:21,668
- He doesn't know it's me.
- What's your exit strategy?

396
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:24,910
- I haven't really thought that far ahead.
- I got a plan.

397
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,418
Todd, can you come here
and sit on this?

398
00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:28,612
Okay.

399
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:34,121
So, dude or chick?

400
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:37,151
Actually, don't ruin it.
I'm good either way.

401
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,155
Ow!

402
00:21:41,305 --> 00:22:41,741
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