1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:03,627
I've finally figured out the key

2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,467
to getting everything done
at medical school.

3
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:08,201
Do a bunch of things at once
and never sleep.

4
00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:12,200
Hey, Dad. Don't have a lot of time
for our daily update, but here goes.

5
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:15,510
School's hard, dorm's gross,
not really dating,

6
00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:17,846
but I am having
my "lady needs" tended to

7
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,114
by a handsome young stallion.

8
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:23,278
Wow, just remembered
who I'm talking to.

9
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:26,815
Sorry, Dad, but since it's out there,
hot damn.

10
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,421
I am in the middle of a
real sexual awakening right now. Hmm?

11
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,791
Yeah, that's about enough for me
today, too. Talk to you tomorrow.

12
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,802
Baby, what's up? It's 5:30.

13
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:39,361
I have nine thousand things to do.
Go back to sleep.

14
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:43,240
Girl, once you wake up the troops,
you gotta storm the beach.

15
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:46,776
You know what?
You are actually on my to-do list.

16
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:51,943
Yeah.

17
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:56,611
The iliohypogastric and ilioinguinal
nerves innervate the groin region.

18
00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:59,022
God, I'm great at study-walking.

19
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,051
Oh, good. Dr. Turk.

20
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,723
I scanned those slides for your lung
lecture and I e-mailed them to you.

21
00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:08,222
- Did you get a chance to check them?
- He's gone, Lucy.

22
00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:09,693
He's gone.

23
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,704
Yesterday was Dr. Dorian's last day.

24
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,968
Dr. Turk was taking it pretty hard.

25
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,711
He done gone to Zion.

26
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:26,810
What?

27
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:31,385
Hey, Turk.
Okay, this is why pregnancy sucks.

28
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,051
Your stupid name took my head
right to "turkey,"

29
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,028
because I have been craving the hell
out of Thanksgiving food all week.

30
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,393
This morning I actually pounded

31
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,523
a jar of cranberry sauce
and some dry stuffing.

32
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:42,592
It was like a holiday,
only much, much sadder.

33
00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:43,727
You want to talk about sad?

34
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:47,331
I spent the whole morning moping
around 'cause J.D. Wasn't here.

35
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:51,740
- Took me about an hour to get out of it.
- Oh, he said to say he misses you.

36
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,802
- He did?
- Yeah.

37
00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,845
It's okay, it's okay.

38
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,480
He reacted the same way
when he got your muffin basket.

39
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,149
Look, Turk, I know that you're hurting,

40
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,784
but you're gonna find someone else
here to ride the eagle with.

41
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:09,488
Elliot, you don't ride the eagle.
You eagle.

42
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,589
You choose toe or thumb.
You join Fight Club with Pillows.

43
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,691
You and J.D. Had a pillow-fight club?

44
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,065
First rule of Pillow Fight Club,
you don't talk...

45
00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:17,467
- Yeah, I get it.
- No, I don't think you do.

46
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:19,495
Elliot. Elliot, please don't say anything.

47
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:22,770
Hey, Turkleton.
I know what it's like to lose a friend.

48
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,369
I lost my good buddy Steve
back in Korea.

49
00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:28,073
- Sir, that was a horrible war.
- Yes, it was,

50
00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:31,641
but I'm talking about a family trip
we took to the '88 Olympics.

51
00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:36,212
I suggested a wife-swap to Steve,
and things got pretty weird.

52
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:38,789
Yes, it was an amazing night,

53
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:42,186
but was it worth it
to lose a good friend over?

54
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:44,326
Probably.

55
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,130
Great effort in the sack last night.

56
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,637
Just remember, when I say,
"I hate you, don't touch me,"

57
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,538
- it's not about you, it's about all men.
- Cool.

58
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:56,599
- Crap, I'm gonna be late for class.
- Drew, wait.

59
00:02:56,643 --> 00:03:00,272
There's something I have to tell you.
I'm late, too.

60
00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:03,973
- You missed your...
- Yeah.

61
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,318
Oh, my God.

62
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:12,583
I'm kidding.
Your face looks so dumb right now.

63
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:15,093
- Why would you do that to me?
- I'm bored.

64
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,358
You're lucky I vibe on crazy.

65
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:21,793
- I hate you, don't touch me.
- Fair enough.

66
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:25,996
Now then, today we will be looking
at patients with pancreatic disorders.

67
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:31,406
- Hey, Drew. Glad you could make it.
- Sorry I'm late.

68
00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:34,140
You should be sorry,
as I'm giving all of you murderers

69
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:35,807
the honor of shadowing me today.

70
00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:39,477
There is no penalty forthcoming,
however, as it is an optional exercise.

71
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:42,215
Optional? Hey, man, I gotta cruise.

72
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:46,555
- Bunch of crap to do. You cool here?
- No, just a second. You're leaving?

73
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,060
Well, what the heck
am I supposed to do?

74
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:51,063
How will the hospital
get by, for God's sake?

75
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:56,761
Shut it down. Everyone, shut it down.
It's over. Stop saving lives.

76
00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,768
Man, you crack me up.

77
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,205
But for reals, I gotta split.

78
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,735
I met this old cat upstairs
who's got really painful glaucoma.

79
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:10,215
Translation, crazy-ass
government product.

80
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,276
Yo, we'll probably hang
out, maybe watch some Benson reruns.

81
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:16,720
Know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

82
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,822
Number One, remind me again
why I can't kill him.

83
00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:24,796
- His daddy built the hospital.
- Fair enough.

84
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:26,856
All of you remain where you are
for a moment.

85
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:29,367
I'm going to punch through a wall.

86
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:34,573
Maureen, I e-mailed you your
bachelorette pictures this morning.

87
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,074
I would have put them
in the regular mail,

88
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,441
but I think we could get arrested.

89
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,378
Okay, class,
I want to thank Miss Bennett

90
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,472
for her help on this presentation.

91
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:46,076
- Thank you. Thanks.
- Not really a stand-and-wave moment.

92
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,310
Here we go.

93
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,082
What do you mean,
they're not the bachelorette photos?

94
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:53,422
All right, people, we'll start with
advanced mesothelioma of the lung.

95
00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,656
- Now, that's not a lung.
- Dr. Turk, please...

96
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:02,464
No, Lucy, I think this could be
what we call a teachable moment.

97
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,994
Next up should be pulmonary fibrosis.

98
00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:09,538
That ain't pulmonary fibrosis.

99
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:12,305
That's a woman nibbling
on some panties.

100
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:15,981
Looks like the night
took a dark turn, people.

101
00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:19,781
Let's see what's next.
Oh, she's back! Back in action!

102
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:26,416
You can't do stuff like that to strangers,
woman. It's not right!

103
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:29,428
- I know. I'm sorry.
- He's a human being, Lucy.

104
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:33,694
He got nine bucks, okay?
I made it rain. Move on.

105
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:41,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP

106
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:55,080
You all right?

107
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:58,613
It was a rough surgery.
I don't think the guy's gonna make it.

108
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,421
- That stinks.
- Yeah.

109
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:03,159
This is when I really miss J.D.,
you know?

110
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,927
At work. He'd see me like this
and then try and pick me up,

111
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,225
and then I'd point to that doctor
over there and I'd say,

112
00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:12,465
"Who does that look like to you?"
And he'd say...

113
00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:13,697
Who?

114
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:16,667
A Japanese Laura Dern.
How do you not see that?

115
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:19,542
I can't believe
you get to see J.D. Naked.

116
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:23,345
- That was weird.
- It's okay. That's okay, Turk.

117
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,151
I can do this with you.

118
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:29,751
See that nurse over there?
She looks like a Mexican Carrie Scott.

119
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:32,019
- Who?
- Childhood friend.

120
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:36,091
Yeah, she joined a cult
and disappeared when she was 16.

121
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,996
Oh, my God, that could actually be her
if she got really tan.

122
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,862
Carrie? Carrie Scott?

123
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,061
Nope, not her. Police are right.
She's probably dead.

124
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:46,697
- What were we talking about?
- I don't remember.

125
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:49,136
This morning was such a disaster.

126
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,939
Maybe my problem is
that I've been trying to do too much.

127
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,510
I've decided to do
some optional shadowing of Dr. Cox

128
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:55,707
to get my mind off it.

129
00:06:55,748 --> 00:07:00,879
- Dr. Cox, may I ask you a question?
- Do you see that shadow over there?

130
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,411
Do you see how it's just quietly
standing against the wall

131
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:04,923
not asking inane questions

132
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:08,688
that make me crave the sweet taste
of a hollow-point bullet?

133
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,162
That's you. A dumb, quiet shadow.

134
00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:15,099
- Act like it.
- You know why you should ignore him?

135
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:18,069
Let's just forget for a second that you
sprained your wrist punching a wall.

136
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:22,006
- I can explain that. I hate someone.
- Miss Simmons' platelets are low,

137
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,872
so I don't really think
heparin's a good idea.

138
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:27,004
I'd never met Dr. Reid,
but she seemed incredible.

139
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:28,946
She went toe-to-toe with Dr. Cox.

140
00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:31,848
Yeah, but the bottom line is,
I admitted her, so she's mine.

141
00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:34,512
- Fair enough. She's yours.
- Thank you.

142
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,547
Hmm.

143
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,853
She was amazing
with her patients.

144
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,485
You're gonna be just fine, Kate.
We'll get the blood work back

145
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,859
and then run a simple test
called a bronchoscopy.

146
00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:45,591
She was a loving wife.

147
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:50,159
J.D., what's wrong? Yes, sweetie.
Turk misses you, too.

148
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:54,432
What? I don't... He's wearing scrubs.

149
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,208
His green ones.

150
00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,871
And she did it all
while being pregnant.

151
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:02,574
Can you hand me that bedpan?
Thank you.

152
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,814
Oh, yeah. Much better. Take that.

153
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:09,444
Who are you? And why are you
following me around and staring at me?

154
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,116
I'm Lucy. I'm a med student.

155
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,091
Be cool, Lucy. Be cool.

156
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:16,858
And I just have to say,
you have the spirit of a noble warrior,

157
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:19,228
which is not to say
that you're not incredibly feminine,

158
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:20,857
because clearly you are.

159
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,095
I mean, you're, like,
stupid fricking pregnant,

160
00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:24,932
but also, so skinny.

161
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:28,702
I mean, come on, you're like a snake
that ate a tiny horse.

162
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:34,171
My point is,
I'd like to get to know you better.

163
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,311
- Oh, so, you're crazy.
- Oh, yeah.

164
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,681
Oh, that's cool. I'm Dr. Elliot Reid.
See you later.

165
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:41,278
Who's got food? Mama needs a refill.
I'm dying here.

166
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,751
All right, class, we're looking
for evidence of disease or abnormality.

167
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,987
Hey, Dr. T, I heard one time
they opened up a dude's stomach

168
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,517
and there was a finger inside of it.

169
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:53,123
I mean, think about it. You're in a lab,
you're a little buzzed, everything's cool,

170
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,292
then all of a sudden
your dead guy's flipping you the bird.

171
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:58,098
With another dude's finger!
I mean, what?

172
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,740
Denise, could you please handle this?
I've had a really bad day.

173
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,207
I'd love to.

174
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:08,303
So, you and me,
we're gonna have a stupid jar.

175
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:13,007
Every time you say something stupid,
we're gonna put a nickel in that jar,

176
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,179
and when that jar gets nice and full,

177
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,679
we're gonna take it
and beat you with it, okay?

178
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:23,025
Dude, how much fun
is she in the sack?

179
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,759
More scary than fun.
Look, Cole, you gotta dial it down a bit.

180
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,232
The school newspaper's
coming out next week

181
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:29,495
and they're publishing class rankings.

182
00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:31,002
I thought you were already number one.

183
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,834
That's just with Dr. Cox.

184
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,363
These are the real rankings,
and everything counts.

185
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,172
Grades, participation, grunt work.
Everyone sees it.

186
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,268
- Really?
- Yeah.

187
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,336
Huh.

188
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:44,310
Hey, it's all good. I don't mind
if people know my rank, okay?

189
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:45,647
It's like going to the gym.

190
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:48,483
When you blast it as hard as I do,
you want people to notice.

191
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,284
- How much you think I bench?
- I don't know, like...

192
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,781
I don't bench. I do high-intensity reps.
I'm toned as balls.

193
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:57,684
What's with the lame writing on
your ass? Is that, like, a surgeon thing?

194
00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:01,257
No, it's for pork-chop day.
An old tradition for me and J.D.

195
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,599
We made special pants.
His said "PORK" on the back.

196
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:08,273
That's actually why he had
that little sexual-harassment thingy.

197
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,774
There's only one left, do you mind?

198
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,902
No, that's all you.
I don't even like pork chops.

199
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,741
- Hey, look, there's J.D.
- Where?

200
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,545
- Where? Did he wear his pants?
- Sucker. I lied. I love them.

201
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,220
You're a pork-chop Keyser Soze.

202
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:26,048
- Can you believe that?
- Oh, I do. The chops are awesome.

203
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:30,028
I pounded down 11 of them already,
gristle and all, and I'm a vegetarian,

204
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:32,758
- but the baby, carnivore.
- Hey, Turk.

205
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,490
Mmm.

206
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,695
It's like Christmas morning.

207
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,769
You want to help me get her back?
This is what we do.

208
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,331
We fill her car up with pork chops,
and when she opens the door,

209
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,344
the pork chops will slide
all over the place,

210
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,278
and she'll have to dig a little seat.

211
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,907
I'm talking about
a major inconvenience.

212
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:50,973
Okay, you're losing it.

213
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,076
We need to get you a new work buddy,
like, today.

214
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:56,350
Until then, you gotta just chillax,
my brother.

215
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,624
Okay, I cannot pull off "my brother,"
can I?

216
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,219
- No.
- At least I nailed "chillax."

217
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:03,953
No, you didn't.

218
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:05,853
Dr. Reid, you're so inspiring.

219
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,332
Oh, stop. Go on.

220
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:12,234
You're totally the kind of doctor
I want to be when I get super-old.

221
00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:15,069
Compliment took
a bit of a left turn there.

222
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:17,507
I just don't think you realize
how awesome it is for me

223
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,738
to see a woman actually doing it,
you know?

224
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,270
You're a great doctor
and you've got your life together.

225
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:25,545
You're handling both.
Me, I've got nine texts this minute.

226
00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:29,076
My boyfriend needs me,
my dad wants his daily phone call,

227
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:32,113
my sister Maureen is freaking out
about her bachelorette party.

228
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:34,058
She has to have sex with her fiance
for the first time

229
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:36,084
in case the stripper got her pregnant.
Long story.

230
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:37,186
Oh, sure, sure.

231
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:39,220
Plus, with all the studying
and the schoolwork...

232
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:43,133
Lucy, you can do it.
You just need to learn how to prioritize.

233
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,902
Uh-oh. I've been so emotional lately,

234
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:51,274
and I just pictured you as my little sister
and I'm starting to lose it.

235
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,777
Quick, say something to remind me
how crazy you are.

236
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:53,972
Um...

237
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,574
I ran out of underwear today,
so I wore my bathing suit.

238
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,945
Huh. Thanks. All better.

239
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,883
Hey, so you and me
got off on the wrong foot.

240
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,254
Nobody's fault.

241
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,918
I mean, you put two alpha dogs
in a cage

242
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,654
and there's bound to be
some barking, right?

243
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:14,528
- Yes, yes. We are exactly alike, indeed.
- See, you get it.

244
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,927
Anyway, I just want to talk
about my ranking

245
00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:20,405
- before the newsletter comes out.
- Spoiler alert. You're last.

246
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,304
Hey, Dr. Cox, please.

247
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:25,970
If my dad reads I'm at the bottom,
he might lose it and cut me off.

248
00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,502
Okay, I know
I don't act like it sometimes,

249
00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:30,037
but I really do want to be a doctor.

250
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:33,017
Son, that is the first honest thing
you've ever said to me.

251
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:35,748
Yeah, you know what it's like
to have a miserable judgmental bastard

252
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:38,689
- for a dad?
- No, my father was so super-sweet

253
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:41,887
that my entire childhood was an
endless parade of lollipops and hugs.

254
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,519
Of course I do.

255
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,288
Look, I can't just move you up
in the rankings based on nothing.

256
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,391
So for the next week,
if I need something done,

257
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,494
- I'll go to you. We'll call it "extra-credit."
- Great.

258
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:53,061
In fact, go to Bed 12.

259
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,266
There's a very, very large
sick man there

260
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:57,832
who needs an alcohol bath
all over his entire body.

261
00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:00,141
Thank you for the opportunity.

262
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,172
So, did he buy the whole
newsletter-rankings nonsense?

263
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:06,207
Like an elderly shut-in
talking to a telemarketer.

264
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,913
- Outstanding.
- It is.

265
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,017
Thank you for meeting me.

266
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:11,886
So, basically,
I'm looking for a work friend.

267
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:14,449
Someone to pal around with
at the hospital.

268
00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:17,462
I am so ready to take this relationship
to the next level.

269
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:20,727
You know, mentally,
physically and emotionally.

270
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,729
I'm sorry. Did you just say "physically"?

271
00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:24,903
Weird-five. Get there.

272
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:29,631
If you were on a desert island,
what three CDs would you bring?

273
00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:33,406
Motorhead, Metallica, and the
original cast recording of Wicked.

274
00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:36,573
I stage-managed the Midwestern leg
of the '05 tour.

275
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:39,345
And yes,
Kristin Chenoweth is a delight.

276
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,410
Why am I here, again?

277
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,048
- How's the food?
- This soup is amazing.

278
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:45,647
Shut up, Frank.

279
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,325
We are lucky enough to dine
with an educated physician,

280
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,725
and you order soup?

281
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:53,960
I'm sorry, Dr. Turk. I'll send him back
for a sandwich, something more fitting.

282
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,489
Talking about soup.

283
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,133
How you doing, Kate?

284
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:03,198
I'm a little nervous.
Is a bronchoscopy gonna hurt?

285
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,607
There'll be
a little discomfort afterwards,

286
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:05,803
but you'll be under for the procedure,

287
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,176
and the whole thing will be over
in an hour.

288
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:10,614
- And you'll be here when I wake up?
- Yeah, of course.

289
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,413
Isn't she the best?

290
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,287
I think we're all searching
for something.

291
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:19,382
Sometimes it's a replacement
for the irreplaceable...

292
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,791
Look, Gandhi,
if you expect me to go all the way,

293
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:24,523
you gotta step up your game
a little bit here, pal.

294
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:28,260
Maybe take me out to a nice dinner,
introduce me to some of your friends.

295
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,927
You're not taking this seriously,
are you?

296
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:31,903
Not even a little. And not just because

297
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:34,770
I want nothing to do
with Dorian's sloppy seconds.

298
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,297
Work sucks.

299
00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:39,270
You, however, have been lucky enough
to have worked

300
00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:41,245
with your very best friend
for eight years.

301
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,840
That will never, ever happen again.

302
00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:49,481
Other times, it's just a
hard-to-reach spot on a fat guy's back.

303
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:53,124
- Oh, no.
- Dude, a little help.

304
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,889
- Oh, isn't it terrible?
- Awful.

305
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:57,087
Hmm.

306
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,495
So, Miss Simmons is gonna wake up
in a while.

307
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,364
Can I hang out with you
while you sit with her?

308
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:06,371
Lucky for me,
I found what I was looking for.

309
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,506
Please! I'm going home.

310
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,776
And she was a lying, selfish jerk.

311
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:17,076
Morning, sunshine. You look rested.

312
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:20,381
Wow, and making time
for the paper, too. That must be nice.

313
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:24,253
- Later, you munch.
- Did she just call me a buttmunch?

314
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,718
Well, she didn't use the word "butt,"

315
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,453
though I can't think
of any other prominent type of munch,

316
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,393
so yeah,
I think she called you a buttmunch.

317
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,259
I'm Drew, by the way.

318
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,593
So, I said to the lady,

319
00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:36,157
"Where can a well-hung marine
buy a pair of shoes around here?"

320
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,399
Don't even know what that is.

321
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:44,064
- Turkleton, those days are gone.
- Dr. Kelso, really?

322
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,104
Please tell me you're not another one
of Dr. Turk's gentleman suitors.

323
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:48,540
I am indeed.

324
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,605
I think it will be great
to have a black friend

325
00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,914
to help me out with the sisters.
Get my swirl on.

326
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,148
That's what I'm talking about. Mmm.

327
00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:58,748
Holy crap. That totally looks
like a Korean Helen Hunt.

328
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,782
No, that's a Japanese Laura Dern.

329
00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:03,454
No, it's not.
I'm gonna get my picture with her.

330
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:04,826
Oh, yeah? Yeah? Well...

331
00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:07,696
Well, tell her I said I loved her
in Japanese Jurassic Park.

332
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:10,201
Hey. You came here with me.
Why are you talking to her?

333
00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:12,760
- No, I'm still here with you!
- What the hell am I doing?

334
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,535
I always end up
in relationships like this.

335
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:18,338
For once,
get out with some dignity, Bob.

336
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:19,867
Don't ever call me again.

337
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:23,604
No, it's okay.

338
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,375
Hey, crazy swimsuit girl.
What are you doing?

339
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:29,910
Volunteering at physical therapy.
I'm stretching Mr. Biegel's hamstring.

340
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:31,217
Stop. He'll be fine.

341
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:34,225
- How do you know?
- He works in the gift shop.

342
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:37,824
- You get what you can get.
- Please leave.

343
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:43,291
- That baby isn't mine, is he?
- Get out, Kevin.

344
00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:45,995
Question. When you
called me "Munch,"

345
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,437
were you referring to Richard Belzer's
beloved detective character

346
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:49,600
first established on Homicide,

347
00:16:49,641 --> 00:16:51,666
but best known
SVU?

348
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:53,803
Crime procedurals soothe the baby.

349
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,007
Luckily, there is a different one on
every nine seconds.

350
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,448
You walked out on Miss Simmons
when she needed you.

351
00:16:58,484 --> 00:16:59,781
I had to stay with her all night.

352
00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:02,651
- She freaked out.
- She did?

353
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,019
Can I get you anything?

354
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:10,853
Yeah, it got real in there.
Big time.

355
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:14,454
Plus, I got no sleep,
and I had so much to do this morning

356
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,936
I had to do my dad phone call
while having sex with my boyfriend.

357
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,460
So many things wrong with that,

358
00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:22,736
not the least of which is the fact that
it's the most turned on I've ever been.

359
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,333
- No filter, huh?
- Nope.

360
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,072
Lucy, there was a hospital full
of residents and nurses here last night.

361
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:28,807
If there was a problem
with Miss Simmons,

362
00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:31,782
- I would have been called.
- Stop making excuses.

363
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,341
You know,
I thought you could do everything,

364
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,750
but I guess it just seems that way,

365
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,654
because you half-ass it
with your patients.

366
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:39,648
Come with me.

367
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,784
Hey, Dr. Cox. I just finished cleaning
that guy's foot ulcer.

368
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:45,695
- How'd that go for you?
- Not gonna lie. I yakked on his face.

369
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,097
Otherwise, crushed it.
What else can I do?

370
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:51,034
Actually, Drew here was about
to assist me with something.

371
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,560
Yeah, yeah. No, I got it.
What's the job?

372
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:54,936
- Sorry, Charlie. This is my deal.
- No, you know what, Drew?

373
00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:57,203
Cole's been really stepping up,
showing some promise.

374
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,676
I'm gonna let him do this one. Room 32.

375
00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:02,612
I want you to do
a manual rectal disimpactation.

376
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:07,415
Mr. Hanson is very constipated.
You will fix that.

377
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:10,615
With your hands.

378
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,356
Oh, lucky.

379
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,857
Yay!

380
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:19,988
- "Sorry, Charlie"?
- I thought I was brilliant.

381
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:28,266
Mr. Valdez is gonna need
another surgery, huh?

382
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:29,399
Yep.

383
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:32,404
I don't think
he's gonna be able to take it.

384
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,207
That totally sucks.

385
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:38,110
Um...

386
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:42,314
If you want,
today is Eileen in Radiology's birthday

387
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,152
and I was gonna go up there
and just steal her cake.

388
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:47,055
I hate Eileen in Radiology.

389
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:50,289
I'm definitely in. She's so nice
it makes me want to cut her throat.

390
00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:51,626
I know, right?

391
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:53,858
I was thinking, after that,
maybe we could stop on three

392
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:55,230
and then I'd show you the nurse
that looks like...

393
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:58,202
- Looks like a Nigerian Kelly Ripa?
- Thank you!

394
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,665
Lucy, Miss Simmons needs
a new IV placed.

395
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:04,437
What say you take a shot at it?

396
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:08,243
Yeah, I, um...

397
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,180
Hands are a little shaky there.

398
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:13,582
I'm jacked up on 17 cups of coffee
because I haven't slept a lot lately,

399
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:16,452
and my head is sweating.
But I'll be fine.

400
00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:20,388
Don't you think
you should disinfect the area?

401
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:22,450
Good catch, Kate.
What do you think, Lucy?

402
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,792
Should we wipe away
all the deadly bacteria,

403
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,196
or just do this Civil War style?

404
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:33,793
- I really shouldn't be doing this.
- No, you shouldn't.

405
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,607
One second.

406
00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:41,468
Once again, a giant swing and a miss
for Lucy Bennett.

407
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,912
What's wrong with me?

408
00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:45,576
Lucy, when I got pregnant,
I learned two things.

409
00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:49,815
Ketchup on cereal is delicious,
and sometimes you have to be selfish.

410
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,345
That's why I went home last night.

411
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:55,087
I mean, finally I have something inside
me forcing me to take care of myself.

412
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,958
See, I'm like you.
I probably ended up in medicine

413
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:59,589
because I want to try
to take care of the whole world.

414
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,929
But here's the crazy thing
about being a doctor.

415
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,492
You can't even take care
of one single patient

416
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,403
unless you learn
how to take care of yourself first.

417
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:09,066
So tell your dad
you can't talk every day,

418
00:20:09,107 --> 00:20:11,132
have your boyfriend grab a cold shower
every once in a while,

419
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:12,905
stop doing slides for Dr. Turk

420
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,742
and let your sister
mess up her own life.

421
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:18,807
That's the key to being a good doctor.
You first, then the world.

422
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,783
Now go home and get some sleep.

423
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:27,525
I guess there are lots of ways
to get by in a hospital.

424
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,322
You can try to just suck it up,

425
00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:33,020
Or find someone to make
the day-to-day hell bearable.

426
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:35,362
- Mmm.
- Mmm. Get the middle.

427
00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:40,334
For me, it was just about
learning who comes first.

428
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,510
Aw, schtupes!

429
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:57,613
Old King Cole is in the house!

430
00:20:57,889 --> 00:21:00,722
Hey, did everybody see the newsletter?
Check it out.

431
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:04,126
Number one, Aaronson comma Cole.

432
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:07,493
Isn't that just an alphabetized list
of all the students in our class?

433
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:08,590
Yep.

434
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:10,761
- You gonna tell him?
- I haven't decided.

435
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:15,501
Oh, too bad, Bennett comma Lucy.
What happened, Suffin?

436
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,940
You're, like, two-thirds of the way
down this thing. That is rough.

437
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:19,409
I don't know. But congratulations.

438
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:22,936
Yup, old Double-"A" Aaronson
nailed it again.

439
00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:24,778
You suck, Zimmerman!

440
00:21:25,305 --> 00:22:25,588
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