1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:05,802
Mom, I love that you're proud of me,
but I'm not a doctor yet.

2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,206
You can't keep giving my number out
to women in your church group

3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,369
and saying I'll help them. I can't.

4
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,277
Oh, hey, tell your mom
the cookies she made are ridic.

5
00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:16,544
Yes, that's him.

6
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,914
It means "ridiculous."

7
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:21,982
No, there's no reason to shorten
that word.

8
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,047
Look, I gotta go. Bye.

9
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,215
Your mom doesn't like me
very much, does she?

10
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:28,159
No, she's crazy about you.

11
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,958
See, you're lying.
You're chewing on your hair.

12
00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:34,194
Babe, I can read you
like the back of a DVD case.

13
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,061
You chew on your hair when you lie,

14
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,263
you adjust your bra
when you're gonna yell at me

15
00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:40,966
and you get a far-off look in your eyes
when you narrate in your head.

16
00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:42,269
Even though Cole and I
were clicking...

17
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:46,267
- There it is!
- Stop noticing things I do!

18
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:48,712
Even though Cole and I were
clicking, there was another couple

19
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:51,546
that was even more in sync
than we were.

20
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:54,747
Queer. Hey, before you go study,
I need your help.

21
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,551
I have a patient who had to pee
on a ski lift,

22
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:59,080
so she pulled her pants down
and her butt froze to the seat.

23
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,525
And when she got off,
she lost most of the skin on her ass.

24
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,358
- What's the question?
- Can I laugh at that?

25
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,455
- That depends. Is she within earshot?
- No.

26
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:08,433
It's funny. No butt skin.

27
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,366
- I lied. She's right behind you.
- What?

28
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,168
Ouch.

29
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,272
Well, chapter 14 is down.

30
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:20,211
Only 400 more pages to go
before the test tomorrow.

31
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,578
I've never had to work this hard
in my life.

32
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:24,082
School's always been easy for me.

33
00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:27,143
Not to brag, but I was my high school
and college valedictorian.

34
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,245
- Me, too.
- Me, too.

35
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,756
I was on the cover of Time magazine
as a 9-year-old

36
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,849
because I invented a new kind of laser.

37
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,883
Trang, you are so smart.

38
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,660
Babe, you're smothering me.

39
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:40,029
You can be a big fish at home,
then you get to med school

40
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,192
and everybody's brilliant.

41
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:43,225
Man, you brainiacs think
you have it tough?

42
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,566
My 'rents made me go to med school

43
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,004
because everyone on my dad's side
is a doctor.

44
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,905
Okay, on my mom's side,
everyone is a bounty hunter.

45
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,807
I don't know
why I couldn't go to school for that.

46
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:54,712
Everyone in my entire family
is counting on me to become a doctor.

47
00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:56,911
And just in case I forget that fact,

48
00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,078
my mom calls me every eight minutes
to check in.

49
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:01,211
I feel the pressure, too.

50
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:04,621
Not so much from my parents,
mostly because they think I'm dead.

51
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:09,421
All right. Moving on.
The nervous system.

52
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:15,596
Bar codes?
What the hell is this, a supermarket?

53
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,398
That's a human being, for God's sake.

54
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:20,770
Listen, old prospector, I know
that any new machine scares you,

55
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,274
but here's the well-held secret.

56
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:26,210
You know that box that records
your favorite television shows?

57
00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:28,874
There isn't a demon inside of it.

58
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,906
Then how does it know what I like?

59
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:33,043
I miss the good old days

60
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:36,146
when doctors and patients
actually got to know each other.

61
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:38,851
You know,
back when sexually harassing a nurse

62
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,190
was just considered polite chitchat.

63
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:42,956
Yes. The good old days.

64
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,362
Back when a man of my color
couldn't be a doctor,

65
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,263
but could live out his lifelong dream

66
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:50,997
of one day driving a white woman
to her hair appointments.

67
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,896
Yes, things were much better
back then.

68
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,374
See? Turkleton gets it.

69
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,013
Happy test day. You know,
I'll be there, so don't mess it up.

70
00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,880
- Crap, I'm already late.
- Wait. Breakfast.

71
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,179
Strawberry frosting? Nice.

72
00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,211
Yeah, you got fruit, dairy,
enough sugar for a month.

73
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,813
- What else do you need?
- Spoon.

74
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,848
Use your fingers, Queen Elizabeth.

75
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:14,352
Mmm!

76
00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:17,093
Delicious. I'll see you later. I love you.

77
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,358
Um...

78
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:24,529
- What was that?
- That just sort of slipped out.

79
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:27,900
I'm gonna just assume
that was the frosting talking

80
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,933
'cause you know that's something
I don't ever want to hear.

81
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:33,707
- So, would you like to take that back?
- Yes, please.

82
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:41,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP

83
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,690
Hello, again. Yeah, you know what?

84
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,791
I don't want to take it back.
'Cause it's the truth.

85
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:51,160
Since the second I met you, you've
made everything in my life better.

86
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:56,157
So, ha, yeah, I love you.

87
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:03,874
Perry, I thought we agreed
you wouldn't page me during lunch

88
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,969
and I wouldn't make you
do cool hip-hop handshakes.

89
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:08,310
Fine. Then I owe you a fist bump
and a peace out.

90
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,043
But in the meantime,
I need a surgical consult

91
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,812
on a patient with ulcerative colitis.

92
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,341
She is a lesbian.

93
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,686
Hey, babe, you ever thought about
being with another chick?

94
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:20,018
No, Cole. Ew!

95
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:26,496
I only tell you this so that
I can remain relatively guilt-free

96
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:29,763
for when you do inevitably stick
one of your size 13 caveman feet

97
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,202
- firmly into your own mouth.
- I can handle a lesbian.

98
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:36,732
I'm a professional doctor.
Give me what you owe me. Yeah, yeah.

99
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,402
Yeah!

100
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,640
All right, then. Books down, murderers.

101
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:45,378
It is time to show off
your useless regurgitation skills.

102
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,113
Dr. Mahoney will be your proctor.

103
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:50,418
There you go. Try not to tell the test
that you're in love with it.

104
00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:58,288
Sorry, dawg.
Already called shotgun on the lesbian.

105
00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,060
You can't call shotgun on a person.

106
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:04,263
- All right, then. Dibs.
- Damn it. Dibs works.

107
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,205
Todd, I'll let you run point on this,
but you gotta be cool.

108
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,802
Hi, I'm Dr. Lesbian, I'll be your lesbian.

109
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,471
I got it from here, Todd.

110
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:18,115
- I said I've got it from here, Todd.
- Okay.

111
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:23,878
All right, then, gutter scum.
I just found this cheat sheet.

112
00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:27,221
Any of you who left this room
during the test, stays.

113
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:30,091
The rest of you, get out! Out!

114
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:35,396
Now, I gotta tell you
that I feel pretty confident

115
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,233
that I can maintain
a certain level of calm

116
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:41,832
if the owner of this
would simply admit to it.

117
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:43,432
Anyone?

118
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:46,678
Go ahead and get that.

119
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:51,674
Hi, Mom. No, the test isn't over,
so I don't know my grade yet.

120
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:54,278
I'm so sorry,
it's really hard to get her off the phone.

121
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,345
I get that. My mom's the same way.

122
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:57,549
Let me see this.

123
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:00,858
That works.

124
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:18,939
I found this cheat sheet in the unisex
bathroom just outside this hall.

125
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:21,503
So, either we have
a Matt Damon-type custodian

126
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:23,947
with an extensive knowledge
of the central nervous system,

127
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,382
or one of you cheated.

128
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:30,617
And since just last week I saw one
of our fine janitors eat a piece of chalk,

129
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:31,816
I'm guessing the latter.

130
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:35,026
Here's the deal. You're all going to be
locked in this room

131
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:38,792
until one of you
comes forward and takes responsibility.

132
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,461
I hope you all think long and hard
about what you've done.

133
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:45,504
No, no, no, no, no.
Butch, this happened on your watch.

134
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,506
- You're not going anywhere.
- Would it make any difference

135
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,007
if I told you I have a personal issue

136
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:51,601
that makes staying in here
really horrible for me?

137
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,805
It would make me quite a bit happier.

138
00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:54,870
Ha.

139
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:59,618
- Beth, this is Dr. Turk.
- How are you doing?

140
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,084
She must be your lady friend, huh?
Your lover.

141
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:04,816
I don't even know why I whispered that.

142
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:07,655
I just don't know what you guys
call each other nowadays. What is it?

143
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,021
Are you uncomfortable
around lesbians?

144
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:13,121
What? Me? No.

145
00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:20,496
Nicole, I'm gonna run a series of tests
on you, but it would help me out a lot

146
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,667
if you could tell me what type
of stomach pain you were having.

147
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,573
It's not that bad, really.

148
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,238
The truth is
Beth wanted me to get checked out.

149
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,977
We're going on vacation next week
to lbiza with a bunch of our girlfriends.

150
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:37,889
And all we do is dance,
drink and, uh, swim.

151
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,494
Are you okay, Dr. Turk?

152
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:47,861
Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking
about my family vacation to Ohio.

153
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,595
Yeah, we, uh...

154
00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:54,306
We visited two science centers
and it was a lot of fun.

155
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,705
My daughter got scared, though,

156
00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:57,936
so we had to spend most of the time
in the car.

157
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,270
It was pretty awesome.

158
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:04,613
Twenty-eight, 29, 30.

159
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,244
Damn, Trang,
you are impervious to pain.

160
00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:08,548
Pay up, bitch.

161
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,783
Dr. Cox has to let us out eventually.

162
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:14,554
I mean, he can't keep us here forever.
Can he?

163
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,030
What's your secret?

164
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,736
Shea butter and big, floppy sun hats.

165
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:28,239
Oh, and I made a deal with a witch.

166
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:33,003
How come witches never offer me
a deal? I'm approachable.

167
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,710
Drew, come on, just admit you cheated.
It's okay.

168
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:38,908
You didn't have time to study.
You were out in a meadow,

169
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,078
pressing wildflowers
and writing love sonnets.

170
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,283
Yes. Me telling you I love you
makes me a 19th-century dandy.

171
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,786
Hey, Maya, you and Trang both left
during the test. Where were you?

172
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,852
Guys, we all left at some point.

173
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,422
She's right.
We have to stop turning on each other,

174
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,593
especially since it's so obvious
that Cole is the one who cheated.

175
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,602
I'm sure Cole
has some great explanation.

176
00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:00,230
Cole, what were you
doing in the bathroom?

177
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,036
Doing my test prep, okay?

178
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:04,235
Part one. Dropping a D.

179
00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:07,972
Part two. Using the mnemonics skills
I picked up at ADD camp.

180
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:11,040
Okay, I remember the circulatory
system by singing Nickelback.

181
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,329
Wow, that makes
a kind of horrible sense.

182
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:28,359
How'd that go for you?
Awkward or really awkward?

183
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,234
- Neither. Super awkward.
- Oh!

184
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:34,296
Look, Nicole's colitis is pretty
advanced and surgery is too risky

185
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,570
due to her diabetes
and thrombocytopenia.

186
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,008
We'll just treat her with steroids, then.

187
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:40,342
She must be in a lot of pain.
I wonder why she didn't tell me.

188
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:44,076
Maybe she did, but you didn't hear her
because you were fantasizing

189
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,380
about being stranded
on Lesbian Island.

190
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,684
Is that a real place?
Because I can leave tonight.

191
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,723
- What?
- We're just hard-staring you away.

192
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:54,083
Oh.

193
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,098
There's only one way
to prove your innocence.

194
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,793
It's a human lie detector test.

195
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:04,564
I take your pulse
and I ask you some basic questions.

196
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,129
You can't tell if I'm lying.
I play online poker.

197
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,970
- You ever kissed a dude?
- No.

198
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,771
- Lie.
- It was a lacrosse initiation.

199
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:13,278
- I didn't even want to do it.
- My God, your pulse is racing.

200
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:15,371
Hey, forget this, man. What about you?

201
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:18,440
I hope it was Drew and I hope
he gets his butt thrown out of here.

202
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:22,011
What did he do to you?
Did he smack you around?

203
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:25,182
Worse. He told me he loved me.
Who does that?

204
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,192
Don't you see?
He's trying to get me to trust him

205
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:28,523
so then he can just let me down.

206
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:31,962
Crazy idea.
You could just say "I love you" back.

207
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:34,091
Yeah, but then if it doesn't work out,
I'll have to kill him,

208
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,261
go to jail, escape, come back
and kill you for giving me that advice.

209
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,739
I love how our friendship is based
predominantly on threats,

210
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:42,832
but as much as they do terrify me,

211
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:47,175
I'm gonna go ahead and say it.
You and Drew are awesome together.

212
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,545
Quit being such a chicken
and just go for it.

213
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:53,485
Hey, you never told us
why you were in the bathroom.

214
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:54,986
In the bathroom taking a leak.

215
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,955
Didn't you stop using public toilets

216
00:10:56,989 --> 00:11:00,083
after you lived in a gas station
bathroom for a month?

217
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,890
That's right.
It was your fun fact at orientation.

218
00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:05,920
Maya's fact was she's color-blind,

219
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,365
and Trang absorbed his twin sister
in the womb.

220
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,892
That's why he's so smart.
My boy's got two brains.

221
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:14,099
- That's not how it works, genius.
- Why are you lying, Drew?

222
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:17,268
- What are you covering up?
- I was on the phone, all right?

223
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,536
You made a phone call
in the middle of a test?

224
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,102
- To who?
- It doesn't matter.

225
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:22,237
Um...

226
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:27,846
I can still feel you staring at me
like a cheetah stares at a gazelle.

227
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,610
I'm thinking.

228
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:34,720
Fine. What the hell,
I'll tell the jackass I love him.

229
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,456
It was a personal call
and it's nobody's business.

230
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,327
It is our business,
'cause you weren't on the phone.

231
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:41,025
- You were cheating.
- I wasn't cheating.

232
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:44,730
I can prove it. I was on the phone
with my divorce lawyer.

233
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,463
- You're married?
- A little.

234
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,297
You always put yourself at risk

235
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,866
when you decide to
trust someone else...

236
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:53,879
Listen, I can explain.

237
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:59,646
The good news is that we can manage
your colitis with steroids.

238
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,016
There are some side effects, however,

239
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,283
including fatigue, insomnia
and weight gain.

240
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:05,051
Isn't there an operation I can have?

241
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:09,551
Yes, there is, but with your preexisting
conditions, surgery could prove fatal.

242
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:12,426
...whether you're trusting
a patient to respond a certain way...

243
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,433
I don't care, I want the surgery.

244
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:20,298
...or counting on your peers
to let an awkward moment go by.

245
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:24,566
Hey. How come
you never introduced us to your wife?

246
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:27,579
Oh! I get it. Her face is busted, right?

247
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,578
I'm sick of this crap.

248
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:32,641
Now, we all know I didn't cheat,
so it's gotta be one of you.

249
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,381
Maya? Trang? Lucy?

250
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,819
It wasn't me.

251
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:39,791
But the hardest thing is when
people put their trust in you

252
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:43,420
and you're the one
who's been lying all along.

253
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,466
- How'd that hair taste?
- Like regret,

254
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,664
and coconut
because of my new conditioner.

255
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,536
But mostly like regret.

256
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,405
I never should have cheated.
What am I gonna do?

257
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,776
Hi, boys and girls.
Anybody admit to anything yet?

258
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:06,117
Here's what I'm going to do.
If someone doesn't tell me who did it,

259
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,086
I'm gonna make you all retake the test.

260
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,883
It's gonna be a new test,
gonna be 10 times as hard.

261
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:14,416
It's not just gonna be on medicine.
It's going to be on everything.

262
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,088
Baseball statistics,
North Dakota high schools,

263
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:20,758
the geography of a made-up
fantasy world I like to call Coxatopia.

264
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,031
That's a magic land
where the rivers run of scotch

265
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:27,197
and hordes of pigs feed on the bones
of cheating med students.

266
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,730
Where's Mahoney and Drew?

267
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:33,340
Okay, yes, I have a wife.
Let's start there.

268
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,108
It was a drunken mistake.

269
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,478
I've been trying to get out of it
ever since.

270
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:38,608
What else haven't you told me?
I mean, have any kids?

271
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,913
Have you robbed a bank?
Were you in a cult?

272
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:43,581
No! No, and I wouldn't call it a cult.

273
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:45,317
It was more like a marketing opportunity

274
00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:46,824
that ended with us all living
on a compound.

275
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,692
What the hell? Both of you
get your asses back in that room.

276
00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:50,854
No.

277
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,764
I'm gonna go ahead
and give you a pass

278
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:56,256
because you have murder eyes.
But, you, (WHISTLING) go.

279
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:02,534
I just think choosing surgery
could kill you.

280
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:06,238
Talk to your lady sidekick.
What's the word I'm looking for?

281
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:08,246
I don't want Beth knowing
anything about this.

282
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:12,341
I want the surgery and there's nothing
you can say that'll change my mind.

283
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,419
Please, tell me you've got some good
news for me on this godforsaken day.

284
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,187
She's still refusing steroids.
I don't get it. What are we missing?

285
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,821
As usual, you are missing the point.

286
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,125
She walked in off the street

287
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,224
and you didn't take the time to find out
anything about her.

288
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:32,533
She could be anybody. A princess
or a terrorist or a hot lesbian.

289
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:34,766
Bob, she is a hot lesbian.

290
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:37,537
I knew one day
that example would make sense.

291
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:38,634
And we did talk to her.

292
00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:41,669
About her condition,
but not about what makes her tick.

293
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,980
You see, in the old days, when we knew
everything about a patient,

294
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:48,612
their decisions never surprised you.

295
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:52,587
You find out more about that
young lady, I bet you'll find the answer.

296
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:57,287
If only there was a way
to learn more about her.

297
00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:59,354
To the Internet!

298
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,531
I'm not like your girlfriend, Dorian.

299
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,264
I don't roll like that.

300
00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:08,068
All right. I'm just trying
to make it through the day.

301
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:09,665
As you please.

302
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,178
This is Denise.
Leave a message after the stupid beep.

303
00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:18,013
Denise, it's Drew. Look, if you're not
into me anymore, that's fine,

304
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:21,918
because there are a lot of women
who get hot for married guys.

305
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:23,448
Ha, ha, ha.

306
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:29,026
Too soon? Probably.
Look, I'm a jerk. And I'm a mess.

307
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,461
And please call me back.

308
00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:35,260
I can't take this anymore.
I have to turn myself in.

309
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,565
Oh, babe, babe,
you don't have to do that.

310
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,468
I do. It's not right.

311
00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:41,797
Hey, guys.

312
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:45,109
I'm really sorry I didn't say this
hours ago, but the truth is...

313
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:49,513
I cheated. All right? I told Lucy earlier
and she's been protecting me.

314
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,945
Boom. Twist.

315
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:53,279
Wow!

316
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:57,688
The cheating cheater
who everybody thought cheated

317
00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:01,022
is the one who cheated.
You're right, sweet twist.

318
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,629
Dr. Cox, check this out.

319
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:08,099
- My God. Is that Nicole?
- Yes.

320
00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:10,900
Is this why you don't want
to take steroids?

321
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:12,904
Because you're worried about
how much weight you're gonna gain?

322
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,098
That was eight years ago.

323
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,403
Beth has never known me like this
and I don't want her to.

324
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:20,538
We're talking about your health here.
Beth is going to understand.

325
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,170
Before you make any decisions,

326
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,910
do yourself a favor
and talk it over with your partner.

327
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,418
Partner. Thank you. Partner.

328
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,580
That's the word
I was looking for. "Partner."

329
00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:32,385
You guys are lesbian partners together.

330
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,859
I'm gonna just back out,
but think about it.

331
00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:41,526
- Cole, what are you doing?
- Baby, I'm untouchable at this school.

332
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,432
I'll take the fall for you.

333
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,967
And because this is so noble,
I'm gonna walk out in dramatic slo-mo.

334
00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:53,806
You can't let him do this.

335
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:57,976
Just tell them.
I am the one who cheated.

336
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,815
No, out loud. Tell them out loud.

337
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,252
It was me.

338
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,191
I was the one who cheated.

339
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:12,253
Are you sure? Because we're
all signed off on Cole taking the blame.

340
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:15,164
Yes, I did it. I hate myself for it.

341
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,636
I'm so sorry.
It's just that I am drowning here.

342
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,966
Ever since I got to med school,
everything's been a struggle.

343
00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:24,600
I wanted a win.

344
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:29,447
Something that I could tell my mom
about without being full of crap.

345
00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:33,144
I'm really sorry, truly,
for putting you all through this

346
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,784
and I'll go tell Dr. Cox that I cheated.

347
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:46,928
Come on, what would Carla say

348
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:48,865
if she found out that you'd already
been married once before?

349
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,665
Yo, whoa, whoa!
Don't even joke like that.

350
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:53,795
If that gets back to Carla,
I'm a dead man.

351
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,239
Talking about me being married
before Carla.

352
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:58,709
Dr. Turk, you were married before?

353
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,336
We're talking here.

354
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:02,273
That's one of Carla's girlfriends.

355
00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:05,613
I can't have that. This is just as bad
as if I were to call Carla bitchy.

356
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,141
You think Carla's bitchy?

357
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,949
No, I didn't say...

358
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:13,185
Sheila, just take your butt
to where it needs to be and stay there!

359
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:15,784
I just feel like
I finally found someone I can trust

360
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:19,320
and then he goes and does this.
I mean, what am I supposed to do now?

361
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,132
Look at those two right there.

362
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,601
I hear you. Everyone thinks
I'm a little butch anyway.

363
00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:25,500
I mean, I might as well dive in.

364
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:30,201
No. Denise, no.
Nicole is one of my patients.

365
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:33,439
And she was willing to risk death
to keep her past from her partner.

366
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:35,174
I just learned that word,
by the way. "Partner."

367
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:36,806
- I'm proud of you.
- Sometimes when you really care

368
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:41,479
about someone, you want them
to know you just as you are right now,

369
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,750
the best version of yourself.

370
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,053
Are you really going to blame Drew
for that?

371
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:49,993
Hey. Guys, have you seen Dr. Cox?

372
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,586
He went back to the lecture hall,

373
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:55,031
mumbling something
about feeding med students to pigs.

374
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,295
Great.

375
00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:59,730
Deep breath. I can do this.

376
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:07,641
Please, tell me exactly what part
of "don't leave this room" is lost on you.

377
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:10,045
- Look, Dr. Cox...
- Go sit down.

378
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:14,484
Now, since you all claim that you have
no idea who the cheater is,

379
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,751
the re-exam will be tomorrow morning
at 4:00 a.m.

380
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,890
Outside. Rain or shine.

381
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,793
Although, if I were you, I'd plan for rain
because I'm gonna bring a hose.

382
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:33,869
What the Fraggle Rock just happened?
You guys didn't turn me in?

383
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,038
No, truth is I'm drowning here, too.

384
00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:40,044
And the only reason I'm surviving
is because of you.

385
00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:44,146
I mean, this place is straight-up
Chuck Norris. Tough as balls.

386
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,242
We're all having trouble.

387
00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:47,479
Even you, Drew?

388
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:52,422
No, but I've had, like,
15 second chances in my life.

389
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:57,659
You deserve at least one, right?
Just don't do it again.

390
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,362
They say
the truth will set you free,

391
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,765
but sometimes you need a little push.

392
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,235
She's gonna go with the steroids.

393
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,062
Should we tell Kelso he was right?

394
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:08,538
I'll just send him an e-mail.

395
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,542
I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know
how to turn his computer on.

396
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:11,634
Mmm.

397
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:13,802
Telling the truth's
just the beginning.

398
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,437
Owning it's the hard part.

399
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,881
Hey, Mom. School's great.

400
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:28,816
Actually, it's a lot harder than I thought
and I'm having a really tough time.

401
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:34,095
Because the one thing you can
never run from is how you really feel.

402
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:35,694
- Hey.
- Don't talk.

403
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:36,962
I have something to say.

404
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,061
And after I say it,
I don't want you to say anything back

405
00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:42,834
and I don't want you to look at me
and I don't want it acknowledged at all.

406
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:47,610
I love you.

407
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:52,514
Now, don't talk to me
for a couple of days.

408
00:20:57,155 --> 00:21:00,181
Carla, calm down, okay?
I don't care what Sheila said.

409
00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:02,523
I was never married
and I didn't call you bitchy.

410
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:05,462
I know she's a good friend of yours,
but that woman is crazy, baby.

411
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:08,523
She's crazy. No, I... What do you...

412
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,034
But that...

413
00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:18,570
Don't you hang up on me! Don't...
Damn, my wife is annoying.

414
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,076
What do you say? 20 bucks a head
to keep your mouths shut?

415
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,710
All right, follow me to the ATM.
Come on.

416
00:21:27,305 --> 00:22:27,784
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