1 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,199 They just walked out of there! 2 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,239 Yeah, I know, I was sort of sitting next to you. 3 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,559 The whole Waters family. They just walked right out of there! 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,239 Again, I was in the room. How do they always manage that?! 5 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:19,679 They're good. 6 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,479 They're greedy and they'll do it again, 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,759 and next time we're going to catch them in the act. 8 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:24,760 How? 9 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:32,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 10 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:35,320 No good? 11 00:00:35,321 --> 00:00:38,399 They always know we're coming. How do they always know?! 12 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,719 They're good, they work at it. 13 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,280 They're never going to stop. Well, neither are we. 14 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:54,720 Argh! 15 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,439 Argh! 16 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,320 Argh! AARGH! 17 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:13,159 Oh! Greg... In the act! 18 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:17,320 It's the only way we're going to do this, in the act! 19 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,159 They're still blocking it? 20 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,439 Yeah. Very efficiently hacked. 21 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,999 They must be bloody pleased with themselves. 22 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,200 They must be. 23 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,399 Right then? 24 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,879 Ah, no! No, you've got to make the arrest. This one's yours, boss. 25 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,039 You've never called me boss before. 26 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,439 Oh, well, look what happens when you're good. 27 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,679 You know how most days aren't good days? 28 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,921 This is a good day. Not for the Waters family. 29 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,959 OK, ten men on the roof, all exits covered. 30 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,560 The bank's closed, so we've no hostages to worry about. 31 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,839 Sorry, no, go on. Go on. 32 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,001 Um, we've got the tunnel entrance covered... 33 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,679 and Davies, Willow and Christie 34 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,961 are heading up armed response on Mafeking Road. 35 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,760 Sorry, I'd better get this. It's him, isn't it? 36 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,679 I, I, I have to go. What?! 37 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:42,999 You make the arrest. No way! 38 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,119 Sorry, you'll be fine. I'm cool with this. 39 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,400 Jones will get all the credit if you leave now, you know he will. 40 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,520 Yeah, well, yeah, it doesn't matter, I have to go. 41 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,519 Back up! I need maximum back up! 42 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,480 Baker Street now! 43 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,199 What's going on?! 44 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,119 This is hard. What? 45 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,480 Really hard. Hardest thing I've ever had to do. 46 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,960 Do you know any funny stories about John? 47 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,639 What?! 48 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,680 I need anecdotes. Didn't go to any trouble, did you? 49 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,719 Shut up, Mrs. Hudson. I haven't said a word. 50 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,759 You're formulating a question, 51 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,239 it's physically painful watching you think. 52 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,159 I thought it was you playing. 53 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,320 It was me playing. 54 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,799 I am composing. 55 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,199 You were dancing. 56 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,679 I was road-testing. 57 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:16,879 You what? 58 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,719 Why are you here? 59 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,559 I'm bringing you your morning tea. You're not usually awake. 60 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:23,999 You bring me tea in the morning? 61 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,759 Well, where do you think it came from? 62 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,159 I don't know. I just thought it sort of happened. 63 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,799 Your mother has a lot to answer for. 64 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,359 Hmm, I know. I have a list. 65 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,559 Mycroft has a file. 66 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,599 So, it's the big day then. 67 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,759 What big day? 68 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,319 The wedding! John and Mary getting married. 69 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,159 Two people who currently live together are about to attend church, 70 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,039 have a party, go on a short holiday, then carry on living together. 71 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,319 What's big about that? It changes people, marriage. 72 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:52,919 Hmm, no it doesn't. 73 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:57,199 Well, you wouldn't understand, cos you always live alone. 74 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,439 Your husband was executed for double murder. 75 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,639 You're hardly an advert for companionship. 76 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:05,359 Marriage changes you as a person in ways that you can't imagine. 77 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,879 As does lethal injection. 78 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,319 My best friend, Margaret, she was my chief bridesmaid, 79 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,679 we were going to be best friends forever, we always said that, 80 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,399 but I hardly saw her after that. 81 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,119 Aren't there usually biscuits? I've run out. Have the shops? 82 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,719 She cried the whole day, saying, "Ooh, it's the end of an era." 83 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,479 I'm sure the shop on the corner is open. 84 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,199 She was probably right, really. I remember she left early. 85 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:31,399 I mean, who leaves a wedding early? So sad. 86 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,759 Hmm. Anyway, you've got things to do. 87 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,839 No, not really. I've got plenty of time to get ready... Biscuits! 88 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,839 Oh! I really am going to have a word with your mother. 89 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,520 You can if you like, she understands very little. 90 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,280 Right then. 91 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,000 Into battle. 92 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,839 Congratulations! 93 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,719 OK, hold it there, I want to get this shot of the newlyweds. 94 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,160 Er, just the bride and groom, please. 95 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,999 Sherlock... Oh, sorry. 96 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,520 OK, three, two, one, cheese. 97 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:42,639 The famous Mr. Holmes. I'm very pleased to meet you. 98 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,959 But no sex, OK? Sorry?! 99 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,239 You don't have to look so scared, I'm only messing. 100 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,879 Bridesmaid, best man, it's a bit traditional. 101 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,319 Is it? But not obligatory. 102 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,228 If that's the sort of thing you're looking for, 103 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,039 the man over there in blue is your best bet. 104 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,319 Recently divorced doctor with a ginger cat... 105 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,599 A barn conversion and a history of erectile dysfunction. 106 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,079 Reviewing that information, possibly not your best bet. 107 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:07,479 Yeah, maybe not. 108 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,199 Sorry, there was one more deduction there than I was expecting. 109 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,640 Mr. Holmes, you're going to be incredibly useful. 110 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,839 Hello. Lovely to meet you. 111 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,639 How are you? Beautiful, Mary. 112 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,639 Thank you. Congratulations. 113 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:28,679 David! 114 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:33,439 Ah, ah, Mary. Congratulations, you look, um, very nice. 115 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,719 Thanks. John, congratulations. You're a lucky man. Thank you. 116 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:40,319 Um, David, this is Sherlock. Hmm. 117 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,280 Um, yeah, we've um... We've met. 118 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,720 So, what exactly are my duties as an usher? 119 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,399 Let's talk about Mary first. 120 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,839 Sorry, what? 121 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,519 Well, I think you know what. You went out with her for two years. 122 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,879 Er, ages ago. We're... We're just good friends now. 123 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,119 Is that a fact? 124 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,119 Whenever she tweets, you respond within five 125 00:10:05,131 --> 00:10:07,319 minutes, regardless of time or current location, 126 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,272 suggesting you have her on text alert. In your 127 00:10:09,284 --> 00:10:11,039 Facebook photographs of the happy couple, 128 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,479 Mary takes centre frame, whereas John is always partly or entirely excluded. 129 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,319 Well, you can't assume from that I've still got some kind of interest in Mary... 130 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,839 You volunteered to be a shoulder to cry on on no less than three separate occasions. 131 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,519 Do you have anything to say in your defence? 132 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,479 I think from now on, we'll downgrade you to casual acquaintance. 133 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,919 No more than three planned social encounters a year 134 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,759 and always in John's presence. 135 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,320 I have your contact details. I will be monitoring. 136 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,999 They're right about you. You're a bloody psychopath. 137 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,200 High functioning sociopath, with your number. 138 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:54,880 Um... 139 00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,759 Hello. Darling. Thank you. 140 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,959 You look fabulous. Thank you. 141 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,880 Thanks for coming, thank you. 142 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,319 Er, yes, well done in the service, Archie. 143 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:12,280 He's really come out of his shell. I don't know how you did it. Um... 144 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,279 Basically it's a cute smile to the bride's side, 145 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,639 cute smile to the groom's side and then the rings. No. 146 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,279 And you have to wear the outfit. No. 147 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,279 You really do have to wear the outfit. What for? 148 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,199 Grown-ups like that sort of thing. Why? 149 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,319 I don't know, I'll ask one. 150 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,719 You're a detective. 151 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,319 Yep. Have you solved any murders? 152 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,560 Sure, loads. Can I see? 153 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,240 Yeah, all right. 154 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,279 What's all the stuff in his eye? 155 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,999 Maggots. Cool! 156 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,279 Hmm. 157 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,039 He said you had some pictures for him, as a treat? 158 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,239 Er, yes, if he's good. 159 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,799 Beheadings. Lovely little village. 160 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,160 Hmm? What did you say? 161 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,400 Hold it. 162 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,440 Nice. 163 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,039 I'm starving. Thanks. 164 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,240 I had to lose so much weight to get into this dress. 165 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,199 Hmm, he's nice. 166 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,759 Traces of two leading brands of deodorant, both advertised for their strength, 167 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,959 suggestive of a chronic body odour problem, manifesting under stress. 168 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,680 OK, done there. What about his friend? 169 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,919 Long-term relationship, compulsive cheat. Seriously? 170 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,159 Waterproof cover on his smart-phone. 171 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,199 Yet his complexion doesn't indicate outdoor work. 172 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,359 It suggests he's in the habit of taking his phone into the shower with him, 173 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,356 which means he often receives texts and emails 174 00:12:51,368 --> 00:12:53,119 he'd rather went unseen. Can I keep you? 175 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,920 Do you like solving crimes? Do you have a vacancy? 176 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,239 So, Harry? Er, no. No show. 177 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:00,719 Darling, I'm so sorry. 178 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,679 Yeah, it was a bit of a punt asking her, I suppose. 179 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,320 Still, free bar, wouldn't have been a good mix. 180 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,319 Oh. God, wow! 181 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,400 Is that...? He came. 182 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,000 So that's him, Major Sholto. Uh-huh. 183 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,399 If they're such good friends, why does he barely even mention him? 184 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,839 He mentions him all the time to me, never shuts up about him. 185 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,959 About HIM? Mm-hmm. 186 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,399 Urgh! I chose this wine, it's bloody awful! 187 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,279 Yes, but it's definitely him that he talks about? Mm-hmm. 188 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,400 I'm very, very, glad to see you, sir. 189 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,679 I know you don't really do this sort of thing. 190 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,999 Well, I do for old friends, Watson. 191 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,759 John. 192 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,840 It's good to see you. You too. 193 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,559 Civilian life suiting you, then? 194 00:13:56,560 --> 00:14:00,399 Er, er, yes. Well, I think so, sir. No more need for the trick cyclist? 195 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,080 No, I go now and then. Sort of a top-up. 196 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,840 Therapy can be very helpful. 197 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,439 Where are you living these days? 198 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,639 Oh, way out in the middle of nowhere. You wouldn't know it. 199 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,079 You look well... I've never even heard him say his name. 200 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,479 Well, he's almost a recluse, you know, since... Yes. 201 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,319 I didn't think he'd show up at all. 202 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,559 John says he's the most unsociable man he's ever met. 203 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,599 He is? He's the most unsociable? Hmm. 204 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:31,119 Ah, that's why he's bouncing around him like a puppy. 205 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,239 Oh, Sherlock! 206 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,639 Neither of us were the first, you know. Stop smiling. 207 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,640 It's my wedding day! 208 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,640 Urgh! 209 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,679 Yes? What, Sherlock? 210 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,799 Why are you out of breath? Filing. 211 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,639 Either I've caught you in a compromising position or you've been working out again. 212 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,639 I favour the latter. What do you want? 213 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,239 I need your answer, Mycroft, as a matter of urgency. 214 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,199 Answer? Even at the eleventh hour, it's not too late, you know. 215 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,359 Oh, Lord! 216 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,559 Cars can be ordered, private jets commandeered. 217 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,519 Today. It's today, isn't it? 218 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,759 No, Sherlock, I will not be coming to the night-do, 219 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,439 as you so poetically put it. 220 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:45,359 What a shame. Mary and John will be extremely d... 221 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,319 Delighted not to have me hanging around. 222 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,759 Oh, I don't know. 223 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,879 There should always be a spectre at the feast. 224 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:56,279 So, this is it, then? The big day. 225 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,279 I suppose I'll be seeing a lot more of you from now on. 226 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,839 What do you mean? Just like old times. 227 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,359 No, I don't understand. 'Well, it's the end of an era, isn't it?' 228 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,399 John and Mary, domestic bliss. 229 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,600 No, no, no. I prefer to think of it as the beginning of a new chapter. 230 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,119 What? Nothing. I know that silence. What? 231 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,839 Well, I'd better let you get back to it. 232 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,439 You have a big speech or something, don't you? 233 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,959 What? Cakes, karaoke, mingling. 234 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,319 Mycroft! This is what people do, Sherlock. They get married. 235 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,039 I warned you, don't get involved. 236 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,999 Involved? I'm not involved. No... 237 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,439 John asked me to be his best man, how could I say no? Absolutely. I'm not involved. 238 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,599 I believe you. Really, I do. 239 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,440 Have a lovely day and do give the happy couple my best. 240 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,919 I will. 241 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:49,080 Oh, by the way, Sherlock, do you remember Redbeard? 242 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,599 I'm not a child anymore, Mycroft. 243 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,639 No, of course you're not. 244 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,120 Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock. 245 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,080 Pray silence for the best man. 246 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,599 Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, 247 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:39,880 and... um, others. 248 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,160 Er... 249 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,920 A-also... 250 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,999 Greg... Molly. I've just had a thought. 251 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,079 Is that a brain? 252 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,199 What if John asks Sherlock to be his best man? 253 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,559 Well, he will, won't he? He's bound to. Exactly. 254 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,839 So? So, he'll have to make a speech, in front of people. 255 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,480 There'll be actual people there, actually listening. 256 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,799 Well, what's the worst that could happen? 257 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,039 Helen-Louise probably wondered the same. 258 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,600 Helen-Louise? 259 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,039 Oh, hello dear. 260 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,479 I was just thinking, if John does ask Sherlock... 261 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,559 What, the speech, dear? No, it'll be fine. 262 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,520 It's not just the speech, though, is it? 263 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,239 Oh, brilliant! 264 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,399 Mrs. Hudson? Hello, darling. Are you all right? 265 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,959 I was coming to see Sherlock and I thought you were... 266 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,439 No... Possibly dying. 267 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,479 Oh, sorry. 268 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,919 What's wrong? 269 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,519 The telegrams...! 270 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,039 Sorry, what? 271 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,760 Oh, sorry. 272 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,759 Telegrams...! 273 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:17,839 Right, um... First things first, telegrams... 274 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:21,319 Well, they're not actually telegraMs.., we just call them telegrams... I don't know why. 275 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,039 Wedding tradition. 276 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,439 Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently. 277 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,519 "To Mr. and Mrs. Watson," 278 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,239 "so sorry I am unable to be with you on your special day." 279 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,439 "Good luck and best wishes, Mike Stanford." Aah. Aw. 280 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,159 "To John and Mary, all good wishes for your special day," 281 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,359 "with love and many big..." 282 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:41,520 "Big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted." 283 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,719 "Mary, lots of love..." 284 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,559 Yeah? 285 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:53,519 "Poppet. Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam." 286 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,839 "Wish your family could have seen this." 287 00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:01,519 "Special day..." "Very special day..." 288 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,039 "Love..." "Love..." "Love..." "Love..." "Love..." 289 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,160 Bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People are basically fond. 290 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,640 John Watson. 291 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,320 My friend, John Watson. 292 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,839 John... 293 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,359 When John first broached the subject of being best man, I was confused. 294 00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,959 Sherlock? What was that noise downstairs? 295 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,359 Oh, it was Mrs. Hudson laughing. 296 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,599 Hmm, it sounded like she was torturing an owl. 297 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,759 Yeah, well, it was laughter. 298 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:32,960 Could have been both. 299 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,319 Busy? 300 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:39,439 Oh, just occupying myself. Sometimes it's so hard not smoking. 301 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,679 Mind if I interrupt? 302 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:42,800 Be my guest. 303 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:50,919 Tea? Er... So, er, the big question. 304 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,200 Mm-hmm? 305 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,679 The best man. 306 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,039 The best man? 307 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,319 What do you think? Billy Kincaid. 308 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,399 Sorry, what? Billy Kincaid, the Camden Garrotter, best man I ever knew. 309 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,559 Vast contributions to charity, never disclosed. 310 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,399 Personally managed to save three hospitals from closure 311 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,519 and ran the best and safest children's homes in north England. 312 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,893 Yes, every now and again there'd be some garrotings, but 313 00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,079 stacking up the lives saved against the garrotings, 314 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,319 on balance I'd say he... For my wedding. 315 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,919 For me, I need a best man. 316 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,279 Oh, right. Maybe not a Garrotter. 317 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,799 Gavin? Who? 318 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,839 Gavin Lestrade? He's a man and good at it. 319 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,839 It's Greg. And he's not my best friend. 320 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,559 Oh, Mike Stanford, I see. 321 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,759 Well, he's nice. Um, though I'm not sure how well he'd cope with all... 322 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,560 No, Mike's great, but HE'S not my best friend. 323 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,359 Look, Sherlock, this is the biggest and most important day of my life... 324 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,879 Well... No, it is. It is. 325 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,199 And I want to be up there with the two people 326 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:52,400 that I love and care about most in the world. Yes. 327 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,520 So Mary Morstan... Yes. 328 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,240 And... 329 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,480 you. 330 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,599 I confess at first I didn't realise he was asking me. 331 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,703 When finally I understood, I expressed to him 332 00:22:13,715 --> 00:22:15,600 that I was both flattered and surprised. 333 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,329 I explained to him that I'd never expected this 334 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,479 request and I was a little daunted in the face of it. 335 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,760 Sherlock... 336 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,345 I nonetheless promised I would do my very 337 00:22:31,357 --> 00:22:33,239 best to accomplish a task which was, for me, 338 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,679 as demanding and difficult as any I had ever contemplated. 339 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,519 Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was, 340 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,200 in some ways, very close to being moved by it. 341 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,879 No, it's getting a bit scary now. 342 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,320 It later transpired that I'd said none of this out loud. 343 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,480 So, in fact... 344 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,920 You, you mean... Yes. 345 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:12,640 I'm your... best... Man... friend? 346 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,960 Yeah, of course you are. 347 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,720 Of course... You're my best friend. 348 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,359 How was that? 349 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:34,080 Surprisingly OK. 350 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,840 So you'll have to make a speech, of course. 351 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,159 Done that. Done that. 352 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,999 Done that bit, done that bit. 353 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,680 Done that bit. Hmm. 354 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,159 I'm afraid, John, I can't congratulate you. 355 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,399 All emotions, and in particular love, 356 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,759 stand opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things. 357 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,119 A wedding is, in my considered opinion, 358 00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:10,759 nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational 359 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,799 and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. 360 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,119 Today we honour the deathwatch beetle that is the doom of our society, 361 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:20,000 and in time, one feels certain, our entire species. 362 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:31,039 But anyway, let's talk about John. Please. 363 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,959 If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures, 364 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,864 this is not out of sentiment or caprice, it 365 00:24:35,876 --> 00:24:37,879 is that he has many fine qualities of his own 366 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,599 that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. 367 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,119 Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, 368 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:47,319 from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. 369 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,469 It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favour 370 00:24:49,481 --> 00:24:51,599 exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. 371 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:55,079 There is a certain analogy there, I feel. And contrast is, after all, 372 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,839 God's own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. 373 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,279 Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy 374 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,280 designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot. 375 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,359 The point I'm trying to make is that I am 376 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:13,319 the most unpleasant, rude, 377 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,159 ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole 378 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,519 that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. 379 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,999 I am dismissive of the virtuous, 380 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,079 unaware of the beautiful 381 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,720 and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. 382 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,399 So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be best man, 383 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,640 it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend. 384 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,319 And certainly not the best friend 385 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,639 of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being 386 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,480 I have ever had the good fortune of knowing. 387 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,880 John, I am a ridiculous man. 388 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,239 Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. 389 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,319 But, as I am apparently your best friend, 390 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,400 I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion. 391 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,480 Actually, now I can. 392 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,759 Mary, when I say you deserve this man, 393 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,399 it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. 394 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:16,079 John, you have endured war and injury and tragic loss - 395 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:20,959 so sorry again about that last one - so know this, today you sit between 396 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:25,199 the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. 397 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:29,319 In short, the two people who love you most in all this world. 398 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,759 And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say, 399 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,520 we will never let you down and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that. 400 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,280 "If I try and hug him, stop me." Certainly not. 401 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:47,520 Ah, yes. Now onto some funny stories about John. 402 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,279 What's wrong? What happened? Why are you all doing that? John? 403 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,079 Oh, Sherlock! 404 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,480 Did I do it wrong? No, you didn't. Come here. 405 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,679 I haven't finished yet. Yeah, I know, I know. 406 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,080 So onto some funny stories now... Can you wait till I sit down? 407 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:18,479 So, onto some funny stories about John. 408 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,679 If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would be better. 409 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:23,839 On we go. 410 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:29,439 So for funny stories, one has to look no further than John's blog. 411 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,319 The record of our time together. 412 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,679 Of course, he does tend to romanticise things a bit, 413 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,839 but then, you know, he's a romantic. 414 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:39,159 We've tackled some strange cases. 415 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,240 The Hollow Client... 416 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,080 The Poison Giant... 417 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,800 Get down, John! 418 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,600 We've had some frustrating cases... 419 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,119 What is that? 420 00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:12,679 A French decathlete found completely out of his mind, 421 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,719 surrounded by 1,812 matchboxes, 422 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,239 all empty except this one. 423 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,960 And what's in that one? 424 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,080 Inexplicable. 425 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,080 Touching cases... 426 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,360 She's going to ring the doorbell. 427 00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:35,839 Oh, no. She's changed her mind. 428 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,679 Oh, she's going to do it. No, she's leaving. 429 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,799 She's leaving. Oh, she's coming back. 430 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:46,039 She's a client, she's boring. I've seen those symptoms.. before. Hmm? 431 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,639 Oscillation on the pavement always means there's a love affair. 432 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,840 And of course I have to mention the elephant in the room... 433 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,039 But we want something 434 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,880 very particular for this special day, don't we? 435 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,560 The Bloody Guardsman... 436 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,239 Need to work on your half of the church, Mary, looking a bit thin. 437 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,759 Oh, orphan's lot. Friends, that's all I have, lots of friends. 438 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,439 Schedule the organ music to begin at precisely 11:48... 439 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,919 But the rehearsal's not for another two weeks, just calm down. 440 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,759 Calm? I am calm. I'm extremely calm. 441 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,039 Let's get back to the reception, come on. 442 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,839 John's cousin, top table? 443 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,559 Hmm, hates you. Can't even bear to think about you. 444 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,559 Seriously? Second class post, cheap card. 445 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,719 Bought at a petrol station. Look at the stamp, three attempts at licking, 446 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,959 she's obviously unconsciously retaining saliva. 447 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,360 Ah, let's stick her by the bogs. Oh, yes. 448 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:43,960 Who else hates me? 449 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,159 Oh, great, thanks. 450 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,239 "Priceless painting nicked." Looks interesting. 451 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,599 Table four... Done. 452 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,119 "My husband is three people." 453 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,719 Table five... Major James Sholto - who he? 454 00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:00,119 John's old commanding officer. I don't think he's coming. He'll be there. 455 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,399 Well, he needs to RSVP, then. He'll be there. Oh. 456 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,799 "My husband is three people." It's interesting. 457 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,879 It says he has three distinct patterns of moles on his skin. 458 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:12,519 Identical triplets, one in half a million births. Solved it without leaving the flat. 459 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,039 Now, serviettes... Swan or Sydney Opera House? 460 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,679 Where did you learn that? Many skills are required in the field 461 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,765 of criminal investigation... Fibbing, Sherlock. 462 00:30:19,777 --> 00:30:21,479 I once broke an alibi by demonstrating 463 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,470 the exact severity of a fold... I'm not John, I can 464 00:30:23,482 --> 00:30:25,559 tell when you're fibbing. OK, I learnt it on YouTube. 465 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,159 Opera House, please. Oh, hang on, I'm buzzing. 466 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:29,800 Hello? 467 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,279 Oh, hi, Beth. 468 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,279 Yeah, yeah, I don't see why not. 469 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,960 Actually, if that's Beth, it's probably for me too, hang on. 470 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,256 He knows we don't have a friend called Beth, 471 00:30:46,268 --> 00:30:48,079 he's going to figure out that it's code. 472 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,519 He's YouTubing serviettes. He's thorough. He's terrified. Of course he's not. 473 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,265 When you're scared of something you start 474 00:30:53,277 --> 00:30:55,159 wishing it sooner, just to get it all going. 475 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,639 But why would he be scared that we're getting married? 476 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,239 It's not going to change anything, we'll still do stuff. 477 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,559 You need to prove it to him. I told you to find him a new case. 478 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:06,560 I'm trying. But you need to run him, OK? Show him it's still the good old days. 479 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,440 That just sort of happened. 480 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,320 Sherlock, um, mate... 481 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,079 I have... 482 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,559 I've smelled 18 different perfumes, 483 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:37,439 I've sampled nine different slices of cake, which all tasted identical. 484 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,439 I like the bridesmaids in purple... Lilac. Lilac. 485 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,719 Um, there are no more decisions left to make. 486 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,839 I don't even understand the decisions that we have made. 487 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,919 I'm faking opinions, and it's exhausting. 488 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:54,640 So, please, before she comes back... pick something. 489 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,359 Anything. Pick one. Pick what? 490 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,999 A case. Your inbox is bursting. 491 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,719 Just... get me out of here. 492 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,919 You want to go out on a case? Now? 493 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,840 Please. Sherlock, for me. 494 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,359 Don't you worry about a thing, I'll get you out of this. 495 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,239 Oh. 496 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,079 "Dear Mr. Holmes, my name is Bainbridge." 497 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,719 "I'm a Private in Her Majesty's Household Guard." 498 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,079 "I'm writing to you about a personal matter..." 499 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,439 "One I don't care to bring before my superiors," 500 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:28,800 "it would sound so trivial." 501 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,759 "But I think someone's stalking me." 502 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,439 "I'm used to tourists, it's part of the job," 503 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,319 "but this is different." 504 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:37,720 "Someone's watching me." 505 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,880 "He's taking pictures of me every day." 506 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,640 "I don't want to mention it to the Major, but it's really preying on my mind." 507 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,919 Uniform fetishist? All the nice girls like a soldier. 508 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,919 It's "sailor". And Bainbridge thinks his stalker is a bloke. 509 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,359 Let's go and investigate. Please. 510 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,559 Elite guard. 40 enlisted men and officers. 511 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,839 Why this particular Grenadier? Curious. 512 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,559 Now you're talking. OK. Bye! 513 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,799 Er, we're just going to... I need, um, Sherlock to help me 514 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,319 choose some er... Ties. Socks. 515 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,719 Why don't we go with socks? Yeah. 516 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,599 I mean, you've got to get the right ones. 517 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:22,039 Exactly, to go with my... Tie. Outfit. 518 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,080 That'll take a while, right? Is my coat in there? Yes. 519 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,839 I'm just going to take him out for a bit. Run him. 520 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,199 I know. You said you'd find him a case. Hmm. 521 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,000 Coming, Sherlock? Coming! 522 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,120 Taxi! 523 00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,520 Company halt! 524 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,720 Right turn! 525 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,519 We're here to see Private Stephen Bainbridge. 526 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:11,999 He's on duty right now, sir. 527 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,039 But I'll certainly let him know when he's free. 528 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,359 And when will that be? 529 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,280 Another hour. 530 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,999 Do you think they give them classes? 531 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,439 Classes? 532 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,719 How to resist the temptation to scratch their behinds. 533 00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:41,839 Afferent neurons in the peripheral nervous system. 534 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,279 Bum-itch. 535 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,280 Oh. 536 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,279 So why don't you see him any more? 537 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,319 Who? Your previous commander, Sholto. 538 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,279 Previous commander? 539 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:57,679 I meant ex. 540 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,079 "Previous" suggests that I currently have a commander. 541 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:03,479 Which you don't. Which I don't. Of course you don't. 542 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,599 He was decorated, wasn't he? A war hero? 543 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,000 Not to everyone. 544 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,919 He led a team of crows into battle. 545 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,119 Crows? 546 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,239 New recruits. It's standard procedure - break the new boys in. 547 00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:15,400 But it went wrong. 548 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,479 They all died, he was the only survivor. 549 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,586 The press and families gave him hell, he gets more 550 00:35:21,598 --> 00:35:23,839 death threats than you. Oh, I wouldn't count on that. 551 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:27,679 And why have you suddenly taken an interest in another human being? 552 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,240 I'm "chatting". 553 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,439 I won't be trying THAT again. 554 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:39,559 Changing the subject completely... 555 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:44,159 you know it won't alter anything, right, me and Mary getting married? 556 00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:46,079 We'll still be doing all this. 557 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,279 Oh, good. If you were worried. 558 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:49,600 I wasn't worried. 559 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:52,600 Hmm. 560 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,639 The thing about Mary, 561 00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,000 she has completely turned my life around. 562 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,440 Changed everything. 563 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,279 But, for the record, 564 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,519 over the last few years there are two people who have done that, 565 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:12,439 and the other one is... 566 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,080 a complete dickhead. 567 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,159 Can I ask what this is in connection with? 568 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:52,359 Private Bainbridge contacted us about a personal matter, sir. 569 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,239 Nothing's personal when it concerns my troops. 570 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:57,279 What do you really want? 571 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,119 I'm here on a legitimate enquiry. 572 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,999 Are you press? Digging for some bloody Royal story or something? 573 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,959 No, sir, I'm Captain John Watson, 574 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,279 Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers. 575 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:09,839 Retired. 576 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,920 You could be a used-car salesman now, for all I know. 577 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,159 Bainbridge? 578 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,920 Gentleman here to see you. 579 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,960 Bainbridge! 580 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,199 I know you, don't I? 581 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,440 Hmm? 582 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,559 I've seen you in the papers. 583 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,239 You hang around with that detective, 584 00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:42,920 the one with the silly hat. 585 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,119 What the hell does Bainbridge want with a detective? 586 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,919 I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say. 587 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,119 You're not at liberty to say? He's a soldier in my regiment. 588 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,799 I'll be damned if he's going to get up to cloak-and-dagger nonsense like this. Sir! 589 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,439 Sir! What's going on? It's Bainbridge, sir. 590 00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,480 He's dead. 591 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,279 My God! 592 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,239 Ah! No, let me take a look, sir, I'm a doctor. 593 00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:16,439 What? 594 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:17,679 Sergeant, arrest this man! 595 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,119 What? No, no! I'm a doctor! 596 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,159 Oh, you're a doctor now too? Sergeant. 597 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:22,399 Let me examine him, please! 598 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,359 Sir, caught this one snooping around. 599 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:25,839 Is that what this is all about? 600 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,039 Distracting me, so that this man could get in here 601 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,479 and kill Bainbridge? Don't be... 602 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,599 Kill him with what? Where's the weapon? What? 603 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,959 Where's the weapon? Go on, search me - no weapon. 604 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,679 Bainbridge was on parade, he came off duty five minutes ago. 605 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,519 When's this supposed to have happened? 606 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,799 You obviously stabbed him before he got into the shower. No. No?! 607 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,888 He's soaking wet and there's shampoo in his hair. 608 00:39:43,900 --> 00:39:45,999 He got into the shower, then someone stabbed him. 609 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,759 The cubicle was locked from the inside, sir. I had to break it open. 610 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:52,359 You must have climbed over the top. But then I'd be soaking wet too, wouldn't I? 611 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,319 Major, please! I'm John Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers, 612 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,959 three years in Afghanistan, a veteran of Kandahar, Helmand 613 00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,559 and Bart's bloody Hospital! 614 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,400 Let me examine this body! 615 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:09,959 Thank you. 616 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,799 Suicide? 617 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,560 No. The weapon again, no knife. 618 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:20,480 Now, there is a wound to the abdomen. 619 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,119 Incredibly fine. 620 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,599 Man stabbed to death, no murder weapon. 621 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,320 Door locked from the inside. 622 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,159 Only one way in or out of here. Sherlock... 623 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,119 Hmm? He's still breathing. 624 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:33,919 Oh, my God! 625 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,039 What do we do? Give me your scarf. What? 626 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,359 Quickly, now! Call an ambulance! 627 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,359 What? Call an ambulance, now! 628 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,759 Do it! 629 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,279 Nurse, press here, hard. 630 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:45,679 Nurse? Yeah, I'm making do. 631 00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,479 Keep pressure on that wound. 632 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,680 Stephen? Stephen, stay with me. 633 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:53,839 Private Bainbridge had just come off guard duty. 634 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,239 He'd stood there for hours, plenty of people watching, 635 00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:57,479 nothing apparently wrong. 636 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,879 He came off duty and within minutes was nearly dead 637 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:02,039 from a wound in his stomach, 638 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:03,399 but there was no weapon. 639 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,159 Where did it go? 640 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,519 Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to consider this - 641 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,839 a murderer who can walk through walls, 642 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,079 a weapon that can vanish. But in all of this, 643 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,360 there is only one element which can be said to be truly remarkable. 644 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,200 Would anyone like to make a guess? 645 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,039 Come on, come on, 646 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,880 there is actually an element of Q&A to all of this. 647 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,559 Scotland Yard, have you got a theory? 648 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,719 Yeah, you, you're a detective, broadly speaking. Got a theory? 649 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:39,559 Er, um, if the, er... If the... If the... 650 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,160 If the blade was propelled through the, erm... 651 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,599 grating in the air vent, 652 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:50,079 maybe a ballista or a catapult, um... 653 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,719 Somebody tiny could crawl in there. 654 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:55,359 So, yeah, we're looking for a dwarf. 655 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:56,679 Brilliant. 656 00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,959 Really? No. 657 00:41:57,960 --> 00:41:59,119 Next? 658 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:00,559 "He stabbed himself." 659 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:01,959 Hello, who was that? 660 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:03,600 Tom? 661 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:07,560 Got a theory? 662 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:15,199 Attempted suicide, with a blade made of compacted blood and bone. 663 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,519 Broke after piercing his abdomen, 664 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:21,359 like a meat... dagger. 665 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:22,999 A meat dagger? 666 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,960 Yes. "Sit down." 667 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:27,200 No. 668 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,639 There was one feature, and only one feature, of interest 669 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,559 in the whole of this baffling case, 670 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:37,119 and quite frankly it was the usual - John Watson. 671 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,640 Who, while I was trying to solve a murder, instead saved a life. 672 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,359 There are mysteries worth solving 673 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,000 and stories worth telling. 674 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,319 The best and bravest man I know 675 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,599 and, on top of that, he actually knows how to do stuff. 676 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,399 Except wedding planning and serviettes, he's rubbish at those. 677 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:55,879 Hmm. The case itself remains 678 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,359 the most ingenious and brilliantly planned murder, or attempted murder, 679 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,759 I've ever had the pleasure to encounter. 680 00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:05,759 The most perfect locked-room mystery of which I am aware. 681 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,679 However, I'm not just here to praise John, 682 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:09,799 I'm also here to embarrass him, so let's move on to... 683 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,119 No, wait... How was it done? 684 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:12,920 How was what done? The stabbing? 685 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,799 I'm afraid I don't know. 686 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,999 I didn't solve that one. 687 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,799 It can happen sometimes, it's very, very disappointing. 688 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,319 Embarrassment leads me on to the stag night. 689 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,399 Of course there's hours of material here, 690 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,840 but I've cut it down to the really good bits. 691 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,319 Murder scenes? 692 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:36,079 Locations of murders? 693 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:37,519 Hmm, pub crawl, themed. 694 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,039 Yeah, but why can't you just do Underground stations? 695 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,999 It lacks the personal touch. We're going to go for a drink in every... 696 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,399 In every street where you've found a corpse. Delightful! 697 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:46,679 Where do I come in? 698 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,399 Don't want to get ill. That would ruin it, spoil the mood. 699 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,879 You're a graduate chemist, can't you just work it out? 700 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:53,760 I lack the practical experience. 701 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:56,999 Meaning you think I like a drink? 702 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,240 Occasionally. That I'm a drunk. No... No. 703 00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,839 You look... well. 704 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,519 I am. 705 00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,000 How's... 706 00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:13,399 Tom? 707 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,519 Not a sociopath. 708 00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:15,599 Still? Good. 709 00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,760 And we're having quite a lot of sex. 710 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,959 OK. I want you to calculate John's ideal intake, and mine, 711 00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,119 to remain in the sweet spot for the whole evening. 712 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:27,279 Light-headed - good. 713 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,759 Urinating in wardrobes - bad. 714 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:31,039 Hmm. 715 00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,559 Two, erm... beers, please. 716 00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:34,639 Pints? 717 00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,440 443.7 millilitres. 718 00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:41,440 Ah. 719 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,640 What, are we on a schedule? 720 00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:50,320 You'll thank me. 721 00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,200 Cheers. Cheers. 722 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:15,639 Over there. What? 723 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:17,919 Toilets - any second now you're going to need... 724 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,479 Hang on, tell me after. I need the loo. Hmm, on schedule. 725 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,960 Eh? Nothing. Go! 726 00:45:28,240 --> 00:45:29,919 How long? Sorry? 727 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:31,399 Your visit. 728 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:34,759 Estimate approximate volume discharge... 729 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,160 Stop talking now. 730 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:44,000 Oh, quick, one more. He mustn't see. 731 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,200 Here you go. Cheers. 732 00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:03,480 I know ash! Don't tell me I don't! 733 00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:10,240 All right, enough! That's... Stand up. 734 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:15,440 Ash. I know ash. 735 00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:23,880 I have an international reputation. 736 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,559 Do you have an international reputation? 737 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:31,760 No, I don't have an international reputation. No. 738 00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,480 And I can't even remember what for. 739 00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:44,480 It's crime... something or other. 740 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,879 Oh, what are you doing back? 741 00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,679 I thought you were going to be up late. 742 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:52,760 Ah, Hudders. What time is it? 743 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:55,760 You've only been out two hours. 744 00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:08,759 Am I a vegetable? 745 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,400 You or the... thing...? Pffrrrt! 746 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,039 Funny! 747 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,279 Thank you. 748 00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,480 Come on. No, you're not a vegetable. It's your go. 749 00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,639 Erm... am I human? 750 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:24,879 Sometimes. 751 00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:26,239 Can't have sometimes. 752 00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:27,439 It has to be, um... 753 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:31,039 Yes, you're human. Yes, I know, OK. And am I a man? 754 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:32,520 Yep. Tall? 755 00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:35,759 Not as tall as people think. 756 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,439 Hmm. Nice? 757 00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:38,919 Ish. 758 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:39,999 Clever? 759 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:41,039 I would say so. 760 00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:42,319 You would. 761 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,159 Hmm, am I important? 762 00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:45,719 To some people. 763 00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:48,399 Do people like me? 764 00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,199 Erm, no they don't. 765 00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:53,239 You tend to rub them up the wrong way. 766 00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:54,839 OK. 767 00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:56,920 Am I the current King of England? 768 00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:00,959 You know we don't have a King. 769 00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,119 Don't we? No. 770 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,080 Your go. 771 00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,360 I don't mind. Am I a woman? 772 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,440 What? 773 00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:20,679 Yes. 774 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,400 Am I... pretty? 775 00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:26,000 This? 776 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,879 Beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, 777 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,639 influences and role models. 778 00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:35,120 Yeah, but am I a pretty lady? 779 00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:41,199 I don't know who you are, I don't know who you're supposed to be. 780 00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,399 You picked the name! 781 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,439 But I picked it at random from the papers. 782 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:47,839 You're not really getting the hang of this game, are you, Sherlock? 783 00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:52,279 So I am human, I'm not as tall as people think I am. I'm... 784 00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:54,399 I'm nice-ish, clever, 785 00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:55,999 important to some people. 786 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,840 But I tend to rub them up the wrong way. 787 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:01,839 Got it. 788 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,559 Go on, then. I'm you, aren't I? 789 00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:04,560 Client! 790 00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:07,839 Hello. 791 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,039 Hello. Come on. 792 00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,040 Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes? 793 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,199 I don't... a lot. 794 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:22,199 I mean, I don't date all that much. 795 00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:27,159 And he seemed nice, you know? 796 00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,039 We seemed to automatically connect. 797 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:31,479 We had one night, 798 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,199 dinner, such interesting conversation. 799 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,439 It was lovely. 800 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:38,959 To be honest, 801 00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:41,719 I'd love to have gone further, 802 00:49:41,720 --> 00:49:45,919 but I thought, no, this is special, 803 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:47,679 let's take it slowly. 804 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,239 Exchanged numbers, 805 00:49:49,240 --> 00:49:51,760 he said he'd get in touch and then... 806 00:49:55,040 --> 00:50:00,679 Maybe he wasn't quite as keen as I was, 807 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,199 but I just thought 808 00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,480 at least he'd call to say that we were finished. 809 00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,559 I went round there, 810 00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,879 to his flat, no trace of him. 811 00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:24,319 Mr. Holmes, I honestly think 812 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:28,440 I had dinner with a ghost. 813 00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,120 Mr. Holmes? 814 00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,239 With a ghost, Mr. Holmes! 815 00:50:41,240 --> 00:50:45,720 Boring, boring, boring. No... fascinating. 816 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:48,639 John. John! Wake up. 817 00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,239 I apologise about my... You know... Him. 818 00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:53,600 Rude. Rude! 819 00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,399 I checked with the landlord 820 00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,599 and the man who lived there died. 821 00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,479 Heart attack. 822 00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:06,439 And there we are having dinner one week on. 823 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,879 And I found this thing online, 824 00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,359 a sort of chatroom thing, 825 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:16,599 for girls who think they're dating men from the spirit world. 826 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:20,039 Don't worry, I'll find him in ten minutes. 827 00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:21,319 What's your dog's name? 828 00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,959 Yeah, I'm there if you want it... John, wake up. 829 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,479 Went to... Yeah. 830 00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:28,160 The game is... something. 831 00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:30,239 On? 832 00:51:30,240 --> 00:51:31,879 Yeah, that, that. 833 00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:33,040 OK. 834 00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,519 Oh, it's nice. 835 00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,240 Nice place. 836 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,439 See anything? Hmm? 837 00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,159 Any clues, Mr. Holmes? 838 00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,200 Oh, errrm... 839 00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,160 I'm just going to whip this out. 840 00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:39,879 You all right? Hmm? Yeah, he's clueing. What? 841 00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:41,800 He's... Hmm? He's clueing for looks. 842 00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:54,880 Mr. Holmes? 843 00:52:59,920 --> 00:53:02,519 Mr. Holmes! I'm calling the police. Oh, no... 844 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:04,239 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 845 00:53:04,240 --> 00:53:06,479 No, look, this is a famous detective, 846 00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,279 it's Sherlock Holmes and his partner, John Hamish Watson. 847 00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:10,679 What do you think you're doing? 848 00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:15,400 Don't compromise the integrity of the... 849 00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:21,880 Crime scene. 850 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:29,720 Yeah, that. 851 00:53:49,720 --> 00:53:51,000 Wakey-wakey! 852 00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:52,719 Oh, my God. 853 00:53:52,720 --> 00:53:54,599 Greg... Is that Greg? 854 00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,999 Get up. I'm going to put you two in a taxi. 855 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,679 I managed to square things with the desk sergeant. 856 00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,199 Ha! What a couple of lightweights - 857 00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,239 you couldn't even make it to closing time! 858 00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:05,760 - Can you whisper? - Not really! 859 00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:11,480 Come on. 860 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,559 Well, thanks for a... 861 00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,919 You know... an evening. 862 00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:29,920 It was awful. 863 00:54:29,921 --> 00:54:32,999 Yeah. I was going to pretend, but... 864 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,639 it was, truly. 865 00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,279 That woman, Tessa... What? 866 00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,759 Dated a ghost, most interesting case for months. 867 00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:41,320 What a wasted opportunity! 868 00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,360 OK. 869 00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:51,759 How are you feeling? 870 00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:53,120 Hmm. 871 00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,599 It's just like old times, having you back here. 872 00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:00,879 I thought I'd make your favourite, one last time. 873 00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:03,799 Oh. Don't sound so final about it, 874 00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,719 I will be visiting, you know. Ooh, I've heard that one before! 875 00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:08,759 No, it's different now, though, isn't it? 876 00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:10,879 It's different to when we thought we'd lost him. 877 00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:13,079 Well, marriage changes everything, John. 878 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:17,079 Does it? Yeah. You might not think it, but it does. 879 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,159 It's a different phase in your life. 880 00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,079 You meet knew people, cos you're a couple, 881 00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:26,039 and then you just let your old friends slip away. 882 00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:29,239 It won't be like that. Well, if you've found the right one, 883 00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:32,319 the person that you click with, it's the best thing in the world. 884 00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:35,359 Well, I have. I know I have. Oh, I'm sure. 885 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:36,559 She's lovely. 886 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,879 Yeah, I think so. What about you? 887 00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,159 Me? 888 00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:43,439 Did you think you'd found the right one when you married Mr. Hudson? 889 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,519 No. It was just a whirlwind thing for us. 890 00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:49,799 I knew it wouldn't work, but I just got sort of swept along. Right. 891 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,999 And then we moved to Florida. 892 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,439 We had a fantastic time, 893 00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:56,679 but of course I didn't know what he was up to. "The drugs." 894 00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,039 Drugs?! He was running, erm... 895 00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:00,999 Oh, what do you call it? 896 00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:05,039 Erm... A... cartel. 897 00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,039 And got in with a really bad crowd. 898 00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:10,319 Right. And then I found out about all the other women. 899 00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:12,119 I didn't have a clue. 900 00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:16,519 So, when he was actually arrested for blowing someone's head off, 901 00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:20,000 it was quite a relief, to be honest. 902 00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:22,599 Oh. 903 00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:25,719 It was purely physical between me and Frank. 904 00:56:25,720 --> 00:56:28,079 We couldn't keep our hands off each other. 905 00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,639 I know, there was one night... 906 00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,080 Oh, is that Sherlock? 907 00:56:32,720 --> 00:56:33,919 Is it? 908 00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,160 That's Sherlock. 909 00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:41,840 Urgh... 910 00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:57,439 There are going to be others. 911 00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,479 Others? Victims, women. 912 00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:02,599 Most ghosts tend to haunt a single house. 913 00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:05,160 This ghost, however, is willing to commute. Look. 914 00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:30,079 Hmm... Not you. Not you. 915 00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:32,279 Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. 916 00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,399 Not you. Not you. 917 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,239 Not you. 918 00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:37,799 Not you. Not you. 919 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,919 Hmm... Not you. 920 00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:44,319 Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. 921 00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:46,719 Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. 922 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:47,879 Not you, you, you, or you, or you. 923 00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:52,159 Or not you, not you, not you, not you, not you, not you. 924 00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:54,920 Not you. 925 00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:03,359 Hi. 926 00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:04,880 Gail. 927 00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,720 Charlotte. 928 00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:15,440 Robyn. 929 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,480 Vicky. 930 00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:29,239 How did you meet? 931 00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,479 Came up to me in a pub. Same gym as me. 932 00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:33,519 We just got chatting on the bus. 933 00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:34,599 Online. 934 00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:36,599 Name? Told you. 935 00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,399 His name. Oscar. 936 00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:40,279 Mike. Terry. 937 00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,839 Erm... Love Monkey. 938 00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:44,599 Your place? 939 00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:45,880 His place. 940 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:48,320 Address? 941 00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:53,719 Nothing happened. 942 00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,799 It was just... very romantic. 943 00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,519 Four women in four nights. He must have something special. 944 00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:01,199 He was very charming. He listened. 945 00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:02,359 He was sweet. 946 00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:05,719 He had a lovely... You OK? 947 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,239 You've let your food go cold. Mrs. Hudson will play hell. 948 00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:10,520 Not now, John. 949 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:15,999 Sorry about that. 950 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,599 He had a lovely manner. 951 00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,639 Different names, different addresses. 952 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:21,999 Describe him. 953 00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:23,079 Short blonde hair. 954 00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:24,479 Dark hair. Long. 955 00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,119 Ginger. I like gingers. 956 00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:27,319 Couldn't tell. 957 00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:29,200 He had a mask on. 958 00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,279 He's stealing the identity of corpses, 959 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:36,559 getting their names from the obituary columns. 960 00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:37,879 All single men. 961 00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:39,319 He's using the dead man's flat 962 00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,959 under the assumption it will be empty for a while. 963 00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:43,319 Free love nest. 964 00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:44,320 I feel sick. 965 00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:45,320 It's gruesome. 966 00:59:45,321 --> 00:59:48,080 That's awful. Clever... Bastard! 967 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:54,599 Hello, Tessa. 968 00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:56,079 Meanwhile, back to business. 969 00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,840 No-one wants to use a dead man's home. 970 00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:01,279 At least not until it's been cleared. 971 01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:04,439 So, he disguises himself. 972 01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:07,359 Steals the man's home, steals his identity. 973 01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,999 But only for one night. Then he's gone. 974 01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,159 He's not a ghost, John. He's a Mayfly. 975 01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:13,520 He lives for a day. 976 01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:18,639 So, what was it he was looking for? 977 01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:19,679 Job? 978 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:21,159 Gardener. Cook. 979 01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:22,759 Private nurse. I do security work. 980 01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:23,960 Maid. 981 01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:27,120 Obvious. You all work for the same person. 982 01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:44,039 No, no, not the same employer. Damn! 983 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,439 Come on, we can do this. 984 01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:46,559 Ideal night out? 985 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:47,879 Clay-pigeon shooting. 986 01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:48,999 Line dancing. 987 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:50,079 Pictures. 988 01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:51,879 Wine in front of the telly. 989 01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:53,600 Dungeon. 990 01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:56,519 Make-up? Clarins. 991 01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:57,919 No7. 992 01:00:57,920 --> 01:00:59,959 Maybelline. Nothing special. 993 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:00,920 Whatever's cheap. 994 01:01:00,921 --> 01:01:02,599 Perfume? 995 01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:04,679 Chanel. Chanel. Chanel. 996 01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:07,120 Chanel. Estee Lauder. 997 01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:09,759 Ideal man? 998 01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:11,039 George Clooney. 999 01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:12,559 Oh...! Home-loving. 1000 01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:14,519 He'd have to like cuddling. 1001 01:01:14,520 --> 01:01:17,079 Caring. Ten things. 1002 01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:19,279 One - someone who isn't competitive with other men. 1003 01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:21,399 Two - someone who isn't constantly 1004 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,879 trying to define himself by his masculinity... 1005 01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:28,719 There's a unifying factor, there has to be. 1006 01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:30,600 None of you reported anything stolen. 1007 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:36,679 Security guard, gardener, cook, maid, private nurse. 1008 01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:38,559 He's romancing his way up a pecking order. 1009 01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,520 Somebody's pecking order. Come on, think. Unless... 1010 01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,639 Do you have a secret you've never told anyone? 1011 01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:46,159 No. 1012 01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:48,039 Gotcha! What do you mean? 1013 01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:50,519 Everyone has secrets and they all replied too quickly. 1014 01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:53,319 Got to go. See you. No... Wait! Bye-bye. Wait! 1015 01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:56,039 Sorry, sexy, some secrets have to stay secret. 1016 01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:57,840 Enjoy the wedding. 1017 01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,679 Why? WHY would he date all of those women and not return their calls? 1018 01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:06,199 You're missing the obvious, mate. Am I? 1019 01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:07,639 He's a man. 1020 01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,719 But why would he change his identity? 1021 01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:11,120 Maybe he's married. 1022 01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:16,039 Oh... Married. 1023 01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:17,159 Obvious, really. 1024 01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:18,879 Our Mayfly Man was trying to escape 1025 01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:20,599 the suffocating chains of domesticity 1026 01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:22,839 and instead of endless nights in watching the telly 1027 01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:26,519 or going to barbecues with the awful, dreadful, boring people he couldn't stand, 1028 01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:29,920 he used his wits, cleverness and powers of disguise to play the field. He was... 1029 01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:34,279 On second thoughts, 1030 01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:37,279 I probably should have told you about the elephant in the room. 1031 01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:39,919 However, it does help to further illustrate 1032 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:41,799 how invaluable John is to me. 1033 01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:45,479 I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being. 1034 01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:48,439 I used to think that's what made me special - quite frankly I still do. 1035 01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:49,639 But a word to the wise, 1036 01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:52,479 should any of you require the services of either of us, 1037 01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:54,319 I will solve your murder, 1038 01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:57,199 but it takes John Watson to save your life. 1039 01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:58,799 Trust me on that, I should know, 1040 01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,040 he's saved mine so many times and in so many ways. 1041 01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:07,119 This blog is the story of two men 1042 01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:10,599 and their, frankly, ridiculous adventures 1043 01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:13,480 of murder, mystery and mayhem. 1044 01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:18,280 But from now on, there's a new story. 1045 01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:21,680 A bigger adventure. 1046 01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:24,599 Ladies and gentlemen, 1047 01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:29,199 pray, charge your glasses and be upstanding. 1048 01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:31,239 Today begin the adventures 1049 01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:33,119 of Mary Elizabeth Watson 1050 01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:34,959 and John Hamish Watson. 1051 01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:39,080 The two reasons why every single one of us is... 1052 01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:57,959 What did you say? 1053 01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:04,639 You said... "John Hamish Watson." 1054 01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:07,080 You said that. You said "Hamish." 1055 01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,599 This is a famous detective, it's Sherlock Holmes 1056 01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,399 and his partner, John Hamish Watson. 1057 01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:14,319 How did you know? 1058 01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:16,519 How did YOU know his middle name? 1059 01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:18,640 He never tells anyone, he hates it. 1060 01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:24,519 John "H." Watson? 1061 01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:25,960 Yep. 1062 01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:35,279 Henry? Shut up. 1063 01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:36,519 Humphrey? 1064 01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:38,239 Shut up. 1065 01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:39,240 Higgins? 1066 01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:43,159 'Go away!' 1067 01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,839 It took him years to confide in me. 1068 01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:49,959 Oh... That's my birth certificate. 1069 01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:51,200 Yep. 1070 01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:57,840 And the woman - she knew. 1071 01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,760 Hamish. 1072 01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:04,799 John Hamish Watson, 1073 01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:07,839 just if you were looking for baby names. 1074 01:05:07,840 --> 01:05:09,680 God knows where she is. 1075 01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:16,400 Out of my head, I am busy! 1076 01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:20,279 There's only one time that name's been made public. 1077 01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:22,199 Does it have to be on the invitation? 1078 01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,199 It's your name. 1079 01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:25,960 It's traditional... It's funny... 1080 01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:30,520 'Enjoy the wedding...' 1081 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:36,639 Enjoy the wedding. 1082 01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:38,759 The wedding. You knew about the wedding. 1083 01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:41,279 More importantly, you'd seen a wedding invitation. 1084 01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,519 Now barely 100 people had seen that invitation. 1085 01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:45,639 The Mayfly Man only saw five women. 1086 01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:47,799 For one person to be in both groups... 1087 01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:49,399 could be a coincidence. 1088 01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:51,519 Oh, Sherlock! 1089 01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:53,719 What do we say about coincidences? 1090 01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,159 The universe is rarely so lazy. 1091 01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:58,199 So, the balance of probability is? Someone went to great lengths 1092 01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:00,522 to find out something about this wedding. What great 1093 01:06:00,534 --> 01:06:02,559 lengths? They lied. Assumed false identities. 1094 01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:04,519 Which suggests? Criminal intent. 1095 01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:05,759 Also suggests? 1096 01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:07,159 Intelligence, planning. 1097 01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:09,600 Clearly. But more importantly? 1098 01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:12,480 The Mayfly Man. 1099 01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:17,079 The Mayfly Man is... Here today! 1100 01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:19,880 Ooh, sorry. I... 1101 01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:22,519 Another glass, sir? 1102 01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,319 Thank you, yes, thank you. Yes. 1103 01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,600 Something's going to happen, right here. 1104 01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:31,039 Now, where were we? 1105 01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:32,040 Could be any second. 1106 01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:37,159 You have control of the room. 1107 01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:38,719 Ah, yes. 1108 01:06:38,720 --> 01:06:41,839 Raising glasses and standing up. Very good. Thank you. 1109 01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:43,279 Don't lose it. 1110 01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:45,560 And down again. 1111 01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:54,679 Ladies and gentlemen, 1112 01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:56,999 people tell you not to milk a good speech. 1113 01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:59,400 Get off early, leave 'em laughing. 1114 01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:03,639 Wise advice I'll certainly try to bear in mind. 1115 01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:06,519 But for now... part two! 1116 01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:09,039 Part two is more action-based. 1117 01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:12,759 I'm going to walk around, shake things up a bit. 1118 01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:15,559 Who'd go to a wedding? That's the question. 1119 01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:18,199 Who would bother to go to any lengths 1120 01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:20,240 to get themselves to a wedding? 1121 01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:23,119 Well, everyone. 1122 01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:25,679 Weddings are great, love a wedding. What's he doing? 1123 01:07:25,680 --> 01:07:27,439 Something's wrong. 1124 01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:28,959 And John's great too. 1125 01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:31,599 Haven't said that enough, barely scratched the surface. 1126 01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:32,959 I could go on all night 1127 01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:37,279 about the depth and complexity of his jumpers, 1128 01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:39,599 and he can cook. 1129 01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:43,160 Does... erm... a thing. A thing with peas... 1130 01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:46,639 Once. Might not be peas, might not be him. 1131 01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:49,639 But he's got a great singing voice, or somebody does. 1132 01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:51,920 Too many, too many, too many, too many! 1133 01:07:53,280 --> 01:07:56,039 Sorry, too many jokes about John. 1134 01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:59,039 Now... Criminal intent. 1135 01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:00,719 Where was I? Ah, yes. 1136 01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:02,559 Extraordinary lengths. 1137 01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:04,279 Speech. Speech. 1138 01:08:04,280 --> 01:08:05,999 Let's talk about... 1139 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,480 All of which is suggestive of... 1140 01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:12,559 Murder! Sorry, did I say murder? 1141 01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:13,839 I meant to say marriage. 1142 01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:16,439 But, you know, they're quite similar procedures, 1143 01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:17,679 when you think about it. 1144 01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:19,519 The participants tend to know each other 1145 01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:21,279 and it's over when one of them's dead. 1146 01:08:21,280 --> 01:08:24,759 In fairness, murder is a lot quicker though. Janine, what about this one? 1147 01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:26,495 Acceptably hot? More importantly, his 1148 01:08:26,507 --> 01:08:28,759 girlfriend's wearing new uncomfortable underwear 1149 01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,745 and hasn't bothered to pick this thread off his 1150 01:08:30,757 --> 01:08:32,919 jacket, or point out the grease smudge on his neck. 1151 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:35,559 He's going home alone. Also he's a comics and sci-fi geek, 1152 01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:38,519 they're always tremendously grateful, really put the hours in. 1153 01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:40,159 Jeff, the gents. 1154 01:08:40,160 --> 01:08:41,439 Loos now, please. 1155 01:08:41,440 --> 01:08:44,399 Greg. The loos, please. Why? 1156 01:08:44,400 --> 01:08:46,640 Oh, I don't know, maybe it's your TURN. 1157 01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:49,639 Yeah, actually, now you mention it. 1158 01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:52,439 Sherlock, any chance of a... An end date for this speech? 1159 01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:53,519 Got to cut the cake. 1160 01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:55,559 Oh, ladies and gentlemen, 1161 01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:58,319 can't stand it when I finally get the chance to speak for once. 1162 01:08:58,320 --> 01:08:59,639 Vatican cameos. 1163 01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:01,559 What did he say? What does that mean? 1164 01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:03,519 Battle stations, someone's going to die. 1165 01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:04,800 What?! 1166 01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:08,560 Narrow it down. Narrow it down. 1167 01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:11,639 Narrow it down! 1168 01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:13,399 Argh! No, no! 1169 01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:15,840 Not you! 1170 01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:20,439 You. It's always you. 1171 01:09:20,440 --> 01:09:23,200 John Watson, you keep me right. 1172 01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:26,119 What do I do? 1173 01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,759 You've already done it. 1174 01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:29,879 Don't solve the murder. 1175 01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:31,079 Save the life. 1176 01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:33,559 Sorry, off piste a bit. 1177 01:09:33,560 --> 01:09:34,879 Back now. Phew! 1178 01:09:34,880 --> 01:09:37,800 Let's play a game. Let's play murder. 1179 01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:40,319 Sherlock! 1180 01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:43,199 Imagine someone's going to get murdered at a wedding. 1181 01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:44,559 Who exactly would you pick? 1182 01:09:44,560 --> 01:09:47,559 I think you're a popular choice at the moment, dear. 1183 01:09:47,560 --> 01:09:50,559 If someone could move Mrs. Hudson's glass just slightly out of reach, 1184 01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:51,560 that would be lovely. 1185 01:09:51,561 --> 01:09:55,840 More importantly, who could you only kill at a wedding? 1186 01:09:57,200 --> 01:09:58,919 Most people you can kill any old place. 1187 01:09:58,920 --> 01:09:59,999 As a mental exercise, 1188 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,399 I've often planned the murder of friends and colleagues. 1189 01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:03,519 Now, John, I'd poison. 1190 01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,599 Sloppy eater, dead easy. I've given him chemicals and compounds, 1191 01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:08,079 that way he's never even noticed. 1192 01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:10,319 He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue. 1193 01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:13,879 Lestrade's so easy to kill it's a miracle no-one's succumbed to the temptation. 1194 01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:15,745 I've got keys to my brother's house, I could 1195 01:10:15,757 --> 01:10:17,759 break in and asphyxiate him, if the whim arose. 1196 01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:19,559 He's pissed, isn't he? Ow! 1197 01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:21,119 So, once again, 1198 01:10:21,120 --> 01:10:23,679 who could you only kill here? 1199 01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:25,239 Clearly it's a rare opportunity, 1200 01:10:25,240 --> 01:10:27,199 so it's someone who doesn't get out much. 1201 01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:29,119 Someone for whom a planned social encounter 1202 01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:31,359 known about months in advance is an exception. 1203 01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:33,000 Has to be a unique opportunity. 1204 01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:36,679 And since killing someone in public is difficult, 1205 01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:38,839 killing them in private isn't an option. 1206 01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:42,239 Someone who lives in an inaccessible or unknown location, then. 1207 01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:43,959 Someone private perhaps, 1208 01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:46,000 obsessed with personal security. 1209 01:10:47,440 --> 01:10:49,320 Possibly someone under threat. 1210 01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:56,479 Major James Sholto, who he? I don't think he's coming. 1211 01:10:56,480 --> 01:10:57,480 He'll be there. 1212 01:10:57,481 --> 01:10:59,359 Where are you living these days? 1213 01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:01,439 Oh, way out in the middle of nowhere. 1214 01:11:01,440 --> 01:11:03,039 The press and families gave him hell. 1215 01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:04,880 He gets more death threats than you. 1216 01:11:06,280 --> 01:11:08,319 A recluse? 1217 01:11:08,320 --> 01:11:10,359 Small household staff. 1218 01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:12,439 Job? Gardener. Cook. Private nurse. Maid. 1219 01:11:12,440 --> 01:11:14,439 High turnover for additional security. 1220 01:11:14,440 --> 01:11:17,479 I do security work. Probably all signed confidentiality agreements. 1221 01:11:17,480 --> 01:11:19,298 Do you have a secret you've never told anyone? 1222 01:11:19,310 --> 01:11:19,920 No. 1223 01:11:19,921 --> 01:11:22,519 There is another question that remains. Rather a big one, 1224 01:11:22,520 --> 01:11:25,199 a huge one - how would you do it? How do you kill someone in public? 1225 01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:26,999 There has to be a way. This has been planned. 1226 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,039 Mr. Holmes! Hello, Archie, what's your theory? 1227 01:11:29,040 --> 01:11:31,479 Get this right and there's a headless nun in it for you. 1228 01:11:31,480 --> 01:11:34,199 The invisible man could do it. The who, what, why, when, where? 1229 01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:38,640 The invisible man with the invisible knife. The one who tried to kill the Guardsman. 1230 01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:55,839 Bainbridge? 1231 01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:57,560 Bainbridge! 1232 01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:08,599 "Oh, not just planned - planned and rehearsed." 1233 01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:12,359 Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a short interlude. 1234 01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:14,440 The bride and groom... 1235 01:12:17,160 --> 01:12:19,119 The bride and groom. 1236 01:12:19,120 --> 01:12:20,947 Major Sholto's going to be murdered, I don't 1237 01:12:20,959 --> 01:12:22,879 know how or by whom, but it's going to happen. 1238 01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:25,439 Excuse me, coming through. Consulting. 1239 01:12:25,440 --> 01:12:29,959 Stay here. Please be careful. Excuse me. Coming through. 1240 01:12:29,960 --> 01:12:32,439 Excuse me. 1241 01:12:32,440 --> 01:12:34,639 I'm sorry, one more. Oops. I'm so sorry. 1242 01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:35,640 Thank you. 1243 01:13:01,120 --> 01:13:04,159 How can you not remember which room? You remember everything. 1244 01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:06,560 I have to delete something! 207. 1245 01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:16,520 Major Sholto? Major Sholto! 1246 01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:21,919 Major Sholto! If someone's about to make an attempt on my life, 1247 01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:24,359 it won't be the first time. I'm ready. 1248 01:13:24,360 --> 01:13:26,359 Major, let us in. Kick the door down. 1249 01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:27,559 I really wouldn't. 1250 01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:32,119 I have a gun in my hand and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes. 1251 01:13:32,120 --> 01:13:33,730 You're not safe in there. Whoever's after 1252 01:13:33,742 --> 01:13:35,479 you, we know a locked room doesn't stop him. 1253 01:13:35,480 --> 01:13:37,439 The invisible man with the invisible knife. 1254 01:13:37,440 --> 01:13:39,428 I don't know how he does it. I can't stop him and 1255 01:13:39,440 --> 01:13:41,279 that means he'll do it again! Solve it, then! 1256 01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:43,119 I'm sorry? 1257 01:13:43,120 --> 01:13:46,239 You're the famous Mr. Holmes, solve the case, on you go. 1258 01:13:46,240 --> 01:13:48,879 Tell me how he did it and I'll open the door. 1259 01:13:48,880 --> 01:13:51,159 Please, this is no time for games, 1260 01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:52,639 just let us in, you're in danger! 1261 01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:54,199 So are you, so long as you're here. 1262 01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:57,119 Please, leave me. 1263 01:13:57,120 --> 01:14:00,639 Despite my reputation, I really don't approve of collateral damage. 1264 01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,839 Solve it. Sorry? Solve it and he'll open the door, like he said. 1265 01:14:03,840 --> 01:14:07,079 I couldn't solve it before, how can I solve it now? Because it matters now. 1266 01:14:07,080 --> 01:14:10,119 What are you talking about? Get your wife under control! She's right. 1267 01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:11,999 Oh, you've changed! No, she is. Shut up! 1268 01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:14,279 You are not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. 1269 01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:15,399 You're a drama queen! 1270 01:14:15,400 --> 01:14:19,160 Now, there's a man in there about to die, the game is on - solve it! 1271 01:14:34,920 --> 01:14:36,000 Bainbridge? 1272 01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:40,200 Bainbridge! 1273 01:14:43,320 --> 01:14:45,679 Though in fairness, he's a drama queen too. I know. 1274 01:14:45,680 --> 01:14:47,759 Major Sholto, no-one's coming to kill you. 1275 01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:50,559 I'm afraid you've already been killed several hours ago. 1276 01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:51,719 What did you say? 1277 01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:53,279 Don't take off your belt. 1278 01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:54,799 My belt? 1279 01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:55,919 His belt, yes. 1280 01:14:55,920 --> 01:14:58,319 Bainbridge was stabbed hours before we even saw him, 1281 01:14:58,320 --> 01:14:59,879 but it was through his belt. 1282 01:14:59,880 --> 01:15:01,719 Tight belt, worn high on the waist. 1283 01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:03,719 Very easy to push a small blade through the fabric 1284 01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:04,959 and you wouldn't even feel it. 1285 01:15:04,960 --> 01:15:07,839 The belt would bind the flesh together when it was tied tight. 1286 01:15:07,840 --> 01:15:10,439 Exactly. But when you took it off... Delayed-action stabbing. 1287 01:15:10,440 --> 01:15:13,319 All the time in the world to create an alibi. Major Sholto? 1288 01:15:13,320 --> 01:15:14,600 So... 1289 01:15:17,400 --> 01:15:20,679 I was to be killed by my uniform. 1290 01:15:20,680 --> 01:15:23,000 How appropriate. 1291 01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:26,559 He solved the case, Major, 1292 01:15:26,560 --> 01:15:29,559 you're supposed to open the door now. A deal is a deal. 1293 01:15:29,560 --> 01:15:31,599 I'm not even supposed to have this any more, 1294 01:15:31,600 --> 01:15:33,719 they gave me special dispensation to keep it. 1295 01:15:33,720 --> 01:15:36,039 I couldn't imagine life out of this uniform. 1296 01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:39,080 I suppose, given the circumstances, I don't have to. 1297 01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:43,439 When so many want you dead, 1298 01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:45,400 it hardly seems. Good manners to argue. 1299 01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:53,839 Whatever you're doing in there, James, stop it, right now! 1300 01:15:53,840 --> 01:15:55,559 I will kick this door down! 1301 01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:58,479 Mr. Holmes, you and I are similar, I think. 1302 01:15:58,480 --> 01:16:01,279 Yes, I think we are. There's a proper time to die, isn't there? 1303 01:16:01,280 --> 01:16:02,599 Of course there is. 1304 01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:06,319 And one should embrace it when it comes. 1305 01:16:06,320 --> 01:16:07,359 Like a soldier. 1306 01:16:07,360 --> 01:16:10,160 Of course one should, but not at John's wedding! 1307 01:16:12,320 --> 01:16:16,359 We wouldn't do that, would we, you and me? 1308 01:16:16,360 --> 01:16:19,120 We would never do that to John Watson. 1309 01:16:24,240 --> 01:16:25,599 I'm going to break it down. 1310 01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:27,640 Wait, wait, wait, you won't have to. 1311 01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:36,559 I believe I am in need of medical attention. 1312 01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:39,360 I believe I'm your doctor. 1313 01:16:54,960 --> 01:16:57,199 Pretty good. 1314 01:16:57,200 --> 01:16:59,279 Just hold your nerve on your turning. 1315 01:16:59,280 --> 01:17:00,959 Why do we have to rehearse? 1316 01:17:00,960 --> 01:17:03,199 Because we are about to dance together in public 1317 01:17:03,200 --> 01:17:04,720 and your skills are appalling. 1318 01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:08,319 Wow, you're a good teacher. Hmm. 1319 01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:10,159 And you're a brilliant dancer. 1320 01:17:10,160 --> 01:17:12,039 Can I let you in on something, Janine? 1321 01:17:12,040 --> 01:17:13,519 Go on, then. 1322 01:17:13,520 --> 01:17:15,599 I love dancing, I've always loved it. 1323 01:17:15,600 --> 01:17:16,679 Seriously? 1324 01:17:16,680 --> 01:17:17,680 Watch out. 1325 01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:24,199 Oh! 1326 01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:26,559 Never really comes up in crime work, but, you know, 1327 01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:29,439 I live in hope of the right case. Oh, I wish you weren't... 1328 01:17:29,440 --> 01:17:32,599 whatever it is you are. 1329 01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:35,439 I know. Well, glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock, 1330 01:17:35,440 --> 01:17:38,279 what with murderers running riot at my wedding. 1331 01:17:38,280 --> 01:17:39,959 One murderer... One nearly murderer. 1332 01:17:39,960 --> 01:17:42,359 Loves to exaggerate - you should try living with him. 1333 01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:43,879 Sherlock. 1334 01:17:43,880 --> 01:17:45,639 Got him for you. 1335 01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:48,759 Ah, the photographer, excellent. Thank you. 1336 01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:51,119 May I have a look at your camera? 1337 01:17:51,120 --> 01:17:54,119 Erm, what's this about? I was halfway home. 1338 01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:56,200 You should have driven faster. 1339 01:17:57,400 --> 01:17:58,959 Ah, yes. Yes! 1340 01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:00,719 Very good. 1341 01:18:00,720 --> 01:18:03,319 Now you see... Perfect. 1342 01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,719 What is? Are you going to tell us? 1343 01:18:05,720 --> 01:18:07,280 Try looking yourself. 1344 01:18:08,960 --> 01:18:12,239 Look for what? Is the murderer in these photographs? 1345 01:18:12,240 --> 01:18:14,039 It's not what's in the photographs, 1346 01:18:14,040 --> 01:18:16,119 it's what's not in them. Not in any of them. 1347 01:18:16,120 --> 01:18:17,399 Sherlock? 1348 01:18:17,400 --> 01:18:19,760 The showing-off thing, we've discussed it before... 1349 01:18:21,440 --> 01:18:24,999 There is always a man at a wedding who is not in any photograph, 1350 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:26,799 who can go anywhere. 1351 01:18:26,800 --> 01:18:29,599 And even carry an equipment bag around with him if he likes. 1352 01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:31,559 And you never even see his face. 1353 01:18:31,560 --> 01:18:33,160 You only ever see... 1354 01:18:41,960 --> 01:18:43,239 The camera. 1355 01:18:43,240 --> 01:18:44,759 What are you doing? What is this? 1356 01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:47,399 Jonathan Small, today's substitute wedding photographer, 1357 01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:49,279 known to us as the Mayfly Man. 1358 01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:53,999 His brother was one of the raw recruits killed in that incursion. 1359 01:18:54,000 --> 01:18:56,079 Johnny sought revenge on Sholto, 1360 01:18:56,080 --> 01:18:58,399 worked his way through Sholto's staff, 1361 01:18:58,400 --> 01:18:59,599 found what he needed. 1362 01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:01,799 An invitation to a wedding. 1363 01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:05,319 The one time Sholto would have to be out in public. 1364 01:19:05,320 --> 01:19:09,119 So he made his plan and rehearsed the murder, 1365 01:19:09,120 --> 01:19:12,640 making sure of every last detail. 1366 01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:26,399 Brilliant, ruthless, 1367 01:19:26,400 --> 01:19:28,319 and almost certainly a monomaniac. 1368 01:19:28,320 --> 01:19:31,319 Though, in fairness, his photographs are actually quite good. 1369 01:19:31,320 --> 01:19:32,919 Everything you need is on that. 1370 01:19:32,920 --> 01:19:35,959 You probably ought to arrest him or something. 1371 01:19:35,960 --> 01:19:38,079 Do you always carry handcuffs? 1372 01:19:38,080 --> 01:19:40,119 Down, girl. Come on, quick. 1373 01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:42,599 It's not me you should be arresting, Mr. Holmes. 1374 01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:45,159 Oh, I don't do the arresting, I just farm that out. 1375 01:19:45,160 --> 01:19:47,359 Sholto, he's the killer, not me. 1376 01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:49,600 I should have killed him quicker. 1377 01:19:52,200 --> 01:19:54,120 I shouldn't have tried to be clever. 1378 01:19:55,480 --> 01:19:57,280 You should have driven faster. 1379 01:20:06,600 --> 01:20:07,920 Right. 1380 01:21:26,520 --> 01:21:28,519 Ladies and gentlemen, just one last thing 1381 01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:30,559 before the evening begins properly. 1382 01:21:30,560 --> 01:21:34,319 Apologies for earlier, a crisis arose and was dealt with. 1383 01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:36,319 More importantly, however, 1384 01:21:36,320 --> 01:21:38,199 today we saw two people make vows. 1385 01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:39,639 I've never made a vow in my life 1386 01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:41,399 and after tonight I never will again. 1387 01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:43,599 So, here in front of you all, 1388 01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:45,320 my first and last vow. 1389 01:21:46,520 --> 01:21:50,319 Mary and John, whatever it takes, 1390 01:21:50,320 --> 01:21:53,679 whatever happens, from now on, 1391 01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:56,199 I swear I will always be there. 1392 01:21:56,200 --> 01:21:57,559 Always. 1393 01:21:57,560 --> 01:21:58,959 For all three of you. 1394 01:21:58,960 --> 01:22:01,439 Erm... Sorry, I mean... I mean two of you. 1395 01:22:01,440 --> 01:22:03,959 All two of you. Both of you, in fact. I just miscounted. 1396 01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:05,839 Anyway, it's time for dancing. 1397 01:22:05,840 --> 01:22:07,679 Play the music again, please. Thank you. 1398 01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:09,719 OK, everybody, just dance, don't be shy. 1399 01:22:09,720 --> 01:22:11,799 Dancing, please. Very good. 1400 01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:14,559 Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting. 1401 01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:16,279 Deduction? Increased appetite... 1402 01:22:16,280 --> 01:22:18,239 I'm starving. Change of taste perception. 1403 01:22:18,240 --> 01:22:20,399 Oh, I chose this wine, but it's bloody awful! 1404 01:22:20,400 --> 01:22:21,679 You were sick this morning. 1405 01:22:21,680 --> 01:22:23,359 You assumed it was just wedding nerves. 1406 01:22:23,360 --> 01:22:25,519 You got angry with me when I mentioned it to you. 1407 01:22:25,520 --> 01:22:28,719 All the signs are there. The signs? 1408 01:22:28,720 --> 01:22:30,679 The signs of three. 1409 01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:32,559 What? 1410 01:22:32,560 --> 01:22:34,480 Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test. 1411 01:22:35,560 --> 01:22:38,679 Well, the statistics for the first trimester are... 1412 01:22:38,680 --> 01:22:39,720 Shut up! 1413 01:22:41,200 --> 01:22:42,479 Just shut up. 1414 01:22:42,480 --> 01:22:43,679 Sorry. 1415 01:22:43,680 --> 01:22:45,839 How did he notice before me? 1416 01:22:45,840 --> 01:22:48,319 I'm a bloody doctor. It's your day off. It's YOUR day off! 1417 01:22:48,320 --> 01:22:49,439 Stop. Stop panicking. 1418 01:22:49,440 --> 01:22:52,239 I'm not panicking. I'm pregnant, I'm panicking! Don't panic. 1419 01:22:52,240 --> 01:22:53,879 None of you panic. 1420 01:22:53,880 --> 01:22:55,639 Absolutely no reason to panic. 1421 01:22:55,640 --> 01:22:57,586 Oh, and you'd know, of course! Yes, I would. 1422 01:22:57,598 --> 01:22:59,599 You're already the best parents in the world, 1423 01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:02,119 look at all the practice you've had. What practice? 1424 01:23:02,120 --> 01:23:06,040 Well, you're hardly going to need me around now that you've got a real baby on the way. 1425 01:23:13,680 --> 01:23:15,720 Are you all right? Yeah! 1426 01:23:22,440 --> 01:23:25,599 Dance. Hmm? Both of you now, go, dance. 1427 01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:28,879 We can't just stand here, people will wonder what we're talking about. Right. 1428 01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:30,119 Well, what about you? 1429 01:23:30,120 --> 01:23:33,559 Yeah, we can't all three dance, there are limits. Yes, there are. Ahem. 1430 01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:35,439 Come on, husband, let's go. 1431 01:23:35,440 --> 01:23:37,479 This isn't a waltz, is it? No. 1432 01:23:37,480 --> 01:23:39,199 Don't worry, I have been tutoring him. 1433 01:23:39,200 --> 01:23:41,180 He did, you know. Baker Street, behind closed 1434 01:23:41,192 --> 01:23:42,879 curtains. Mrs. Hudson came in one time. 1435 01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:45,040 I don't know how those rumours started! 1436 01:23:46,305 --> 01:24:46,443 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP