1
00:00:03,498 --> 00:00:04,748
Are you ready, kids?

2
00:00:04,831 --> 00:00:06,456
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

3
00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:07,914
I can't hear you.

4
00:00:07,998 --> 00:00:10,081
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

5
00:00:10,164 --> 00:00:12,914
♪ Ohh... ♪

6
00:00:12,998 --> 00:00:15,039
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

7
00:00:15,123 --> 00:00:17,039
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

8
00:00:17,123 --> 00:00:18,914
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

9
00:00:18,998 --> 00:00:20,581
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

10
00:00:20,664 --> 00:00:23,081
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

11
00:00:23,164 --> 00:00:25,039
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

12
00:00:25,123 --> 00:00:26,998
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

13
00:00:27,081 --> 00:00:29,081
- all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

14
00:00:29,164 --> 00:00:30,956
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

15
00:00:31,039 --> 00:00:33,289
SpongeBob SquarePants!

16
00:00:33,373 --> 00:00:35,206
SpongeBob SquarePants!

17
00:00:35,289 --> 00:00:36,539
SpongeBob

18
00:00:36,623 --> 00:00:38,414
SquarePants!

19
00:00:38,498 --> 00:00:41,123
[laughing]

20
00:00:41,206 --> 00:00:43,331
♪ ♪

21
00:00:43,414 --> 00:00:44,664
[waves crashing]

22
00:00:46,498 --> 00:00:49,414
[tropical music]

23
00:00:49,498 --> 00:00:55,456
♪ ♪

24
00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:59,789
[calming music]

25
00:00:59,873 --> 00:01:02,623
Greetings,
children of Bikini Bottom.

26
00:01:02,706 --> 00:01:06,456
I am Karen,
the computer fairy.

27
00:01:06,539 --> 00:01:10,331
[singing opera]

28
00:01:10,414 --> 00:01:14,914
And I have a magical
tale to tell.

29
00:01:14,998 --> 00:01:19,081
Once upon a time,
there was a dim-witted sea star

30
00:01:19,164 --> 00:01:23,789
who was about to stuff
his fat face.

31
00:01:23,873 --> 00:01:25,164
[grunts]

32
00:01:25,248 --> 00:01:27,956
[humming]

33
00:01:28,039 --> 00:01:29,748
♪ ♪

34
00:01:29,831 --> 00:01:32,248
[grunting]

35
00:01:32,331 --> 00:01:33,498
[laughs]

36
00:01:33,581 --> 00:01:36,164
That idiot has such a huge
pile of patties.

37
00:01:36,248 --> 00:01:39,331
I don't think he'll notice
if one walks away.

38
00:01:39,414 --> 00:01:40,414
[laughs]

39
00:01:40,498 --> 00:01:42,539
[chomping]

40
00:01:43,956 --> 00:01:46,414
Aww, I need more ketchup.

41
00:01:46,498 --> 00:01:47,539
[grunts]

42
00:01:49,748 --> 00:01:51,873
Hmm, which patty to choose?

43
00:01:51,998 --> 00:01:53,623
This one?
Nope, too small.

44
00:01:53,706 --> 00:01:55,289
This one?
Nope, been chewed.

45
00:01:55,373 --> 00:01:57,373
This one?
Nope, the seeds are missing.

46
00:01:57,456 --> 00:01:59,456
Hmm.

47
00:01:59,539 --> 00:02:01,331
[groans]

48
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,581
[screams]

49
00:02:05,664 --> 00:02:06,831
[grunts]

50
00:02:06,914 --> 00:02:10,289
[groans]
Stand up, you moron!

51
00:02:10,373 --> 00:02:13,206
[shouting]

52
00:02:13,289 --> 00:02:15,289
Get me an ice pack,
you idiot!

53
00:02:15,373 --> 00:02:18,623
Where are you, voice?
Where are you?

54
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,373
- Uh, Patrick?
- [shouts]

55
00:02:20,456 --> 00:02:22,623
Oh, it's you, SpongeBob.

56
00:02:22,706 --> 00:02:26,706
I thought you were this crazy
voice that keeps telling me

57
00:02:26,789 --> 00:02:27,998
what to do.

58
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,039
Oh, that's probably
your conscience.

59
00:02:30,123 --> 00:02:32,748
What are "conscience"?
Are they bad?

60
00:02:32,831 --> 00:02:35,748
No, a conscience is a tiny
voice inside you

61
00:02:35,831 --> 00:02:38,331
that tells you the difference
between something that's right

62
00:02:38,414 --> 00:02:40,081
- and something--
- [groans]

63
00:02:40,164 --> 00:02:41,498
- That's wrong.
- Hmm.

64
00:02:41,581 --> 00:02:45,414
So I should do what the voice
tells me to do?

65
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:48,248
Now that's a smart little
sea star.

66
00:02:48,331 --> 00:02:49,373
[laughs]

67
00:02:49,456 --> 00:02:52,748
[chewing]

68
00:02:52,831 --> 00:02:54,998
[chuckles]

69
00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:56,748
[slurping]

70
00:02:56,831 --> 00:02:58,164
[groans]

71
00:02:58,248 --> 00:03:01,873
Patrick, this is your
conscience speaking.

72
00:03:01,956 --> 00:03:03,164
[groans]

73
00:03:03,248 --> 00:03:06,664
Oh, nice to meet you, conscience.

74
00:03:06,748 --> 00:03:08,914
So stupid.

75
00:03:08,998 --> 00:03:12,414
So, stupid, the first thing
you need to do is buy some more

76
00:03:12,498 --> 00:03:15,998
Krabby Patties on the double.
Hi-ya, hey-o!

77
00:03:16,081 --> 00:03:19,623
That'll be the first thing
I do, conscience.

78
00:03:19,706 --> 00:03:20,914
Yes!

79
00:03:20,998 --> 00:03:22,623
Right after
I run some errands.

80
00:03:22,706 --> 00:03:24,414
[quirky music]

81
00:03:24,498 --> 00:03:26,789
- [groans]
- Huh?

82
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,331
No!
[grunts]

83
00:03:28,414 --> 00:03:31,998
I'm calling the shots here.
Now get that Krabby Patty.

84
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:36,914
It's just a little list!
Please, conscience?

85
00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:40,789
All right, pea brain.
Make it quick.

86
00:03:40,873 --> 00:03:44,789
Number one:
high-five everyone!

87
00:03:44,873 --> 00:03:47,623
- Huh!
- No, put me down first!

88
00:03:47,706 --> 00:03:48,956
- Ow!
- High five!

89
00:03:49,039 --> 00:03:50,123
- High five!
- [screams]

90
00:03:50,206 --> 00:03:52,289
- Low five!
- [screams]

91
00:03:52,373 --> 00:03:53,706
- High five!
- [groans]

92
00:03:53,789 --> 00:03:55,123
- High five!
- [screams]

93
00:03:55,206 --> 00:03:56,789
- High five!
- Ow!

94
00:03:56,873 --> 00:03:57,914
- High five!
- [groans]

95
00:03:57,998 --> 00:03:58,956
- High five!
- Ow!

96
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,498
[moaning]

97
00:04:01,581 --> 00:04:02,664
[grunts]

98
00:04:02,748 --> 00:04:04,914
[giggles]

99
00:04:04,998 --> 00:04:07,914
[ragtime piano music]

100
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,831
♪ ♪

101
00:04:10,914 --> 00:04:14,498
Number two:
Ice cream!

102
00:04:14,581 --> 00:04:17,164
Yeah!
[waggles tongue]

103
00:04:17,248 --> 00:04:20,831
One Double Chocolate
Molar Blowout, please.

104
00:04:20,914 --> 00:04:24,164
One Molar Blowout,
coming up!

105
00:04:24,248 --> 00:04:29,664
No! You hate ice cream.
You only want Krabby Patties.

106
00:04:29,748 --> 00:04:31,373
[grunts]

107
00:04:31,456 --> 00:04:34,164
Hey, you!
Cancel that order!

108
00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:36,373
[groans]

109
00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:39,664
[giggles]

110
00:04:39,748 --> 00:04:41,206
- [grunts]
- [shouts]

111
00:04:41,289 --> 00:04:42,331
Ow!

112
00:04:42,414 --> 00:04:45,998
You hate high fives
and ice cream?

113
00:04:46,081 --> 00:04:47,914
Are you sure
you're my conscience?

114
00:04:47,998 --> 00:04:53,873
Uh, uh, I, uh--I'm absolutely
positively your conscience.

115
00:04:53,956 --> 00:04:55,539
♪ ♪

116
00:04:55,623 --> 00:04:59,956
Hey, doesn't your nose grow
when you tell lies

117
00:05:00,039 --> 00:05:02,206
- in fairy tales?
- Nope.

118
00:05:02,289 --> 00:05:05,039
Noses only grow when
you make up the truth.

119
00:05:05,123 --> 00:05:06,873
- Ooh.
- See?

120
00:05:06,956 --> 00:05:11,914
[laughs]
I wanna make up the truth too!

121
00:05:11,998 --> 00:05:17,123
Uh, I ate a hot air balloon
for breakfast.

122
00:05:17,206 --> 00:05:19,664
Mm.
I-I mean, um...

123
00:05:19,748 --> 00:05:25,414
I did not eat a hot air balloon
for breakfast.

124
00:05:25,498 --> 00:05:31,373
Hey, I got a big nose too!
Nose fight!

125
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,789
- En garde!
- [screaming]

126
00:05:33,873 --> 00:05:35,748
- [grunts]
- Hey!

127
00:05:35,831 --> 00:05:38,623
[both grunting]
[cheering]

128
00:05:44,164 --> 00:05:47,206
Hooray!
[cheering]

129
00:05:47,289 --> 00:05:50,498
[both grunting]

130
00:05:52,789 --> 00:05:53,998
[shouting]

131
00:05:56,706 --> 00:05:58,248
all: Uh-oh.

132
00:05:58,331 --> 00:06:01,414
[quirky music]

133
00:06:01,498 --> 00:06:03,164
♪ ♪

134
00:06:03,248 --> 00:06:04,748
both: Sorry.

135
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,206
[dramatic music]

136
00:06:07,289 --> 00:06:09,748
[both shouting and groaning]

137
00:06:09,831 --> 00:06:12,831
[quirky music]

138
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,789
Time to let your conscience
be your guide.

139
00:06:15,873 --> 00:06:17,331
Give me that list!

140
00:06:17,414 --> 00:06:18,706
[grunts]

141
00:06:18,789 --> 00:06:21,539
[mutters]

142
00:06:21,623 --> 00:06:26,373
- Here.
- Hey, only one errand left.

143
00:06:26,456 --> 00:06:30,956
Gotta give a Plankton
a Krabby Patty!

144
00:06:31,039 --> 00:06:35,623
♪ Oh, yeah! ♪

145
00:06:35,706 --> 00:06:37,289
[quirky music]

146
00:06:37,373 --> 00:06:40,206
Wonder why I wanted to give
Plankton a patty?

147
00:06:40,289 --> 00:06:43,706
Why not Plankton?
He's a sweetheart.

148
00:06:43,789 --> 00:06:45,331
Huh?
[grunts]

149
00:06:45,414 --> 00:06:48,539
And as your conscience,
I demand you toss that patty

150
00:06:48,623 --> 00:06:50,498
in the mail slot!

151
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:53,498
Ooh, I love mail slot toss!

152
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,664
Hmm!

153
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,831
Not so hard!
Hmm?

154
00:06:57,914 --> 00:06:59,331
Mm!

155
00:06:59,414 --> 00:07:01,998
I've been wanting to hit
the beach all week.

156
00:07:02,081 --> 00:07:04,498
[laughs]
all: Goo Lagoon!

157
00:07:04,581 --> 00:07:07,164
- Goo Lagoon!
- Huh?

158
00:07:07,248 --> 00:07:09,623
[groans]
Huh?

159
00:07:09,706 --> 00:07:11,373
Ah!

160
00:07:11,456 --> 00:07:14,998
Patrick, please promptly pursue
Plankton's patty.

161
00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:16,748
Get the idea?

162
00:07:16,831 --> 00:07:19,873
[groaning]

163
00:07:23,706 --> 00:07:25,248
[groans]

164
00:07:25,331 --> 00:07:28,039
[moaning]

165
00:07:28,123 --> 00:07:31,331
How many planktons does it take
to change a light bulb?

166
00:07:31,414 --> 00:07:33,706
[quirky music]

167
00:07:33,789 --> 00:07:35,373
One.

168
00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:38,081
Oh, now I get the idea!

169
00:07:38,164 --> 00:07:41,206
♪ Ooh, gotta follow
that patty! ♪

170
00:07:41,289 --> 00:07:43,873
[screams]
Ouch!

171
00:07:43,956 --> 00:07:46,706
Wait for me,
you pink pinhead!

172
00:07:46,789 --> 00:07:48,373
[groans]

173
00:07:48,456 --> 00:07:51,998
[surf rock music]

174
00:07:52,081 --> 00:07:54,039
Mmm.

175
00:07:54,123 --> 00:07:56,789
- Ow.
- Ow!

176
00:07:56,873 --> 00:07:57,998
Hey, watch it!

177
00:07:58,081 --> 00:07:59,539
- Ow!
- [burps]

178
00:07:59,623 --> 00:08:00,873
Huh?

179
00:08:00,956 --> 00:08:03,081
[spitting]

180
00:08:03,164 --> 00:08:04,706
[spits]

181
00:08:04,789 --> 00:08:07,956
[snoring]

182
00:08:08,039 --> 00:08:09,289
There's blubber mouth.

183
00:08:09,373 --> 00:08:10,831
♪ ♪

184
00:08:10,914 --> 00:08:13,081
[gulps]

185
00:08:13,164 --> 00:08:16,289
There's Plankton's patty!

186
00:08:16,373 --> 00:08:19,081
- You know what to do.
- Do I?

187
00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:20,081
[grunts]

188
00:08:20,164 --> 00:08:22,998
- Oh, yeah!
- [groans]

189
00:08:23,081 --> 00:08:26,914
[grunts]
[shouting]

190
00:08:26,998 --> 00:08:28,873
Huh?
[shouting]

191
00:08:28,956 --> 00:08:30,539
Whoa!
[groans]

192
00:08:30,623 --> 00:08:33,081
[moans]
Oh, well.

193
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:37,914
No patty for Plankton.
[cries]

194
00:08:37,998 --> 00:08:39,706
[grunts]
I'm going in!

195
00:08:39,789 --> 00:08:42,248
[grunting]

196
00:08:42,331 --> 00:08:44,581
Ugh, just being near
a whale's mouth

197
00:08:44,664 --> 00:08:46,581
- gives me the creeps.
- [grunts]

198
00:08:46,664 --> 00:08:47,581
[shouts]

199
00:08:47,664 --> 00:08:50,164
[screams]

200
00:08:50,248 --> 00:08:53,789
Quiet, you fool!
You'll wake up Pearl.

201
00:08:53,873 --> 00:08:55,081
[screams quietly]

202
00:08:55,164 --> 00:08:56,456
[groans]

203
00:08:56,539 --> 00:08:59,998
[gulps]
[snores]

204
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,498
[groans]
This is snug.

205
00:09:03,581 --> 00:09:06,164
Mother always said I'd end up
in a whale's belly.

206
00:09:06,248 --> 00:09:09,456
- Or prison.
- Hey, who-a goes-a there?

207
00:09:09,539 --> 00:09:12,123
- Who goes where?
- The name's a-Geppetto.

208
00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:13,956
Take off your hats.
Stay a while.

209
00:09:14,039 --> 00:09:16,289
We don't have time
for a visit, old man.

210
00:09:16,373 --> 00:09:18,581
We're just trying to find
our sandwich!

211
00:09:18,664 --> 00:09:20,081
Sandwich?

212
00:09:20,164 --> 00:09:22,248
No, I haven't seen
anything like that

213
00:09:22,331 --> 00:09:24,123
around here in months.
[chuckles]

214
00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:25,789
Huh?
[chuckles]

215
00:09:25,873 --> 00:09:29,289
Hey, Geppetto,
what's that behind your back?

216
00:09:29,373 --> 00:09:31,831
- Is that our Krabby Patty?
- Nope.

217
00:09:31,914 --> 00:09:33,331
Oh!
[grunts]

218
00:09:33,414 --> 00:09:35,581
[grunts]
Aha!

219
00:09:35,664 --> 00:09:38,414
- I got the patty!
- Aha!

220
00:09:38,498 --> 00:09:40,373
I got the wig!

221
00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:42,581
Son, they're-a stealing
our food-a!

222
00:09:42,664 --> 00:09:44,331
Who's stealing our food, Pop?

223
00:09:44,414 --> 00:09:46,498
Let me at 'em, let me at 'em!

224
00:09:46,581 --> 00:09:48,164
Get him, Pinocchio!

225
00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:51,498
[all grunting]

226
00:09:55,248 --> 00:09:58,164
[humming]

227
00:09:58,248 --> 00:09:59,498
[all grunting]

228
00:09:59,581 --> 00:10:03,748
Oh, no.
A stomachache at the beach?

229
00:10:03,831 --> 00:10:08,289
That's no fun.
I wish it would go away.

230
00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:11,914
- Hmm?
- Your wish is granted.

231
00:10:12,039 --> 00:10:13,789
Hold out your hand.

232
00:10:13,873 --> 00:10:15,289
[upbeat music]

233
00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:18,498
Wow!
What is this?

234
00:10:18,581 --> 00:10:20,706
For fast relief
of indigestion,

235
00:10:20,789 --> 00:10:25,539
try Gush and Flush and wash
your pain down the drain.

236
00:10:25,623 --> 00:10:28,539
And my stupid husband,
while you're at it.

237
00:10:28,623 --> 00:10:30,206
[gulps]
Ah.

238
00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:31,206
[groans]

239
00:10:31,289 --> 00:10:35,123
[all shouting]

240
00:10:35,206 --> 00:10:37,248
[groans]

241
00:10:37,331 --> 00:10:40,039
[all screaming]

242
00:10:40,123 --> 00:10:43,956
Thank you,
extra-strength Gush and Flush!

243
00:10:44,039 --> 00:10:45,706
[giggles]

244
00:10:45,789 --> 00:10:50,373
Pinocchio, we're-a free-a!
♪ Yeah! ♪

245
00:10:50,456 --> 00:10:51,706
[snarls]

246
00:10:53,164 --> 00:10:54,456
Huh?
[giggles]

247
00:10:54,539 --> 00:10:56,539
Don't worry about the patty, Patrick.

248
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,581
I'll take it
to Plankton myself,

249
00:10:58,664 --> 00:11:01,914
like a good little conscience.
See you.

250
00:11:01,998 --> 00:11:04,373
[giggles]
[grunts]

251
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:07,289
- Oh, hey, Patrick.
- [grunts]

252
00:11:07,373 --> 00:11:10,289
- My conscience?
- You are?

253
00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:12,289
Yep, I'm Patrick's
conscience.

254
00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:13,956
But I overslept.

255
00:11:14,039 --> 00:11:17,498
Well, if you're my
conscience, Conscience,

256
00:11:17,581 --> 00:11:20,164
- then who's that?
- It's a bug!

257
00:11:20,248 --> 00:11:24,373
- Step on it!
- [groaning]

258
00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:28,248
And they all lived
happily ever after.

259
00:11:28,331 --> 00:11:30,748
So until next time,
this is--

260
00:11:30,831 --> 00:11:33,831
- Karen!
- The computer fairy,

261
00:11:33,914 --> 00:11:36,956
hoping all your dreams
come true.

262
00:11:37,039 --> 00:11:38,039
[quirky music]

263
00:11:39,581 --> 00:11:40,956
Let me at 'em, Pop.
Let me at 'em.

264
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,456
Let me at 'em, let me--
aww!

265
00:11:44,706 --> 00:11:47,539
[swashbuckling music]

266
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:53,789
♪ ♪

267
00:11:53,873 --> 00:11:56,998
[accordion music]

268
00:11:57,081 --> 00:11:59,164
♪ ♪

269
00:11:59,248 --> 00:12:02,998
[groaning]

270
00:12:07,289 --> 00:12:12,289
You people are proof that
evolution can go in reverse!

271
00:12:12,373 --> 00:12:14,164
all: [shushing]

272
00:12:14,248 --> 00:12:17,414
[humming "Entrance
of the Gladiators"]

273
00:12:17,498 --> 00:12:19,414
♪ ♪

274
00:12:19,498 --> 00:12:23,081
Pew! Pew! Pew!

275
00:12:23,164 --> 00:12:24,664
all: [oohing]

276
00:12:24,748 --> 00:12:29,081
[humming]

277
00:12:33,748 --> 00:12:35,289
♪ Ta-da! ♪

278
00:12:35,373 --> 00:12:37,956
[cheers and applause]

279
00:12:38,039 --> 00:12:40,498
Mr. Squidward,
why aren't these walking

280
00:12:40,581 --> 00:12:43,539
- wallets spending money?
- [grunts]

281
00:12:43,623 --> 00:12:47,664
Because they're too busy
watching SpongeBob cook.

282
00:12:47,748 --> 00:12:50,373
- What?
- Ow!

283
00:12:50,456 --> 00:12:52,248
[grunting]

284
00:12:52,331 --> 00:12:54,248
[whistling]

285
00:12:54,331 --> 00:12:57,164
Well, he's not exactly
maximerizing his work time

286
00:12:57,248 --> 00:12:58,498
with those flourishes.

287
00:12:58,581 --> 00:13:02,539
But boy, does that boyo
have talent.

288
00:13:02,623 --> 00:13:04,456
[cheerful noises]

289
00:13:04,539 --> 00:13:06,123
[grunts]

290
00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:08,914
And talent is worth money.

291
00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:13,206
[shouting]
[all scream]

292
00:13:13,289 --> 00:13:14,289
[grunts]

293
00:13:14,373 --> 00:13:18,664
[singing]

294
00:13:18,748 --> 00:13:19,956
[quirky music]

295
00:13:20,039 --> 00:13:22,373
[confused noises]
I have X-ray vision!

296
00:13:22,456 --> 00:13:24,623
I can see through walls.

297
00:13:24,706 --> 00:13:27,664
Calm your waters, lad.
I just knocked it down.

298
00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:31,081
I--why'd you do that?

299
00:13:31,164 --> 00:13:35,039
In the restaurant business,
it's called an open kitchen,

300
00:13:35,123 --> 00:13:38,706
so the customers can watch
the cook cook.

301
00:13:38,789 --> 00:13:40,164
Oh, Mr. Krabs,
I don't know if I can take

302
00:13:40,248 --> 00:13:42,581
- that kind of pressure.
- Nonsense.

303
00:13:42,664 --> 00:13:46,539
You're a born performer. Ooh.

304
00:13:46,623 --> 00:13:48,581
Here.
[grunts and spits]

305
00:13:48,664 --> 00:13:50,206
[marker squeaking]

306
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,123
You've even got
your own dressing room.

307
00:13:53,206 --> 00:13:56,248
Huh? Huh? Huh?

308
00:13:56,331 --> 00:13:57,831
[groans]

309
00:13:57,914 --> 00:14:00,164
- [shouts]
- [moans]

310
00:14:00,248 --> 00:14:04,081
[groans]
Come on, boyo, it's showtime.

311
00:14:04,164 --> 00:14:05,331
[quirky music]

312
00:14:05,414 --> 00:14:07,248
[groans]
I can't.

313
00:14:07,331 --> 00:14:09,123
I've got stage fright.

314
00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:14,248
SpongeBob, if you don't
come out, you're fired.

315
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,831
[groans]

316
00:14:16,914 --> 00:14:20,623
- There he is!
- [grunts]

317
00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:23,456
Chef Bob!

318
00:14:23,539 --> 00:14:26,081
Me little star!

319
00:14:26,164 --> 00:14:29,289
Break a leg.
Break two legs.

320
00:14:29,373 --> 00:14:31,623
- My leg!
- Shut up, Fred.

321
00:14:31,706 --> 00:14:34,539
[singing]

322
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,873
[cheers and applause]

323
00:14:39,248 --> 00:14:41,706
all: [oohing]

324
00:14:41,789 --> 00:14:43,581
[quirky music]

325
00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:47,373
[all groaning]

326
00:14:47,456 --> 00:14:48,498
What?

327
00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:50,498
[giggles nervously]

328
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:51,581
That's just wrong!

329
00:14:51,664 --> 00:14:53,164
[groaning]

330
00:14:55,748 --> 00:14:58,956
Come on, boyo,
razzle-dazzle them!

331
00:14:59,039 --> 00:15:00,831
- [groans]
- Huh?

332
00:15:00,914 --> 00:15:03,164
Oh, what do I do?
What do I do?

333
00:15:03,248 --> 00:15:05,456
Huh?
Oh.

334
00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:08,414
♪ ♪

335
00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:10,498
[groans]
Hmm?

336
00:15:10,581 --> 00:15:12,206
♪ ♪

337
00:15:12,289 --> 00:15:13,664
[cheering]

338
00:15:13,748 --> 00:15:16,373
Hi, everybody!
Who's hungry?

339
00:15:16,456 --> 00:15:18,373
[all groaning]

340
00:15:18,456 --> 00:15:20,039
I guess I am.

341
00:15:20,123 --> 00:15:23,998
Welcome, welcome to my job
in the kitchen of Chef Bob.

342
00:15:24,081 --> 00:15:26,039
I cook and dance,
I wear square pants,

343
00:15:26,123 --> 00:15:27,956
cooking for this hungry mob.

344
00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:32,498
♪ Your order, please! ♪

345
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:35,873
[cheering]

346
00:15:35,956 --> 00:15:39,164
The little Chef Bob
is a sensation.

347
00:15:39,248 --> 00:15:41,206
[showy music]

348
00:15:41,289 --> 00:15:43,331
[quirky music]

349
00:15:43,414 --> 00:15:46,873
[murmuring]

350
00:15:46,956 --> 00:15:51,498
Hi, everybody!
Who's hungry?

351
00:15:51,581 --> 00:15:52,914
all: We are!

352
00:15:52,998 --> 00:15:56,289
Yay!
[goofy noises]

353
00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:00,373
[cheering]

354
00:16:00,456 --> 00:16:03,414
Yah!
Yah!

355
00:16:03,498 --> 00:16:05,539
[laughing]

356
00:16:05,623 --> 00:16:09,748
Ah!
Huh? Huh?

357
00:16:09,831 --> 00:16:12,373
- [goofy noises]
- [elated screaming]

358
00:16:12,456 --> 00:16:13,581
Voila!

359
00:16:13,664 --> 00:16:15,873
[quirky music]

360
00:16:15,956 --> 00:16:17,831
♪ Ta-da! ♪

361
00:16:17,914 --> 00:16:19,998
- [watch beeping]
- Oh, look at the time.

362
00:16:20,081 --> 00:16:22,664
I gotta get home
and get my beauty sleep.

363
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:25,039
Oh, what died
on that guy's neck?

364
00:16:25,123 --> 00:16:28,081
- Oh, it's his head.
- Huh?

365
00:16:28,164 --> 00:16:32,664
Hey, what died on your neck?
Oh, it's your head.

366
00:16:32,748 --> 00:16:35,914
[all laughing]

367
00:16:35,998 --> 00:16:39,123
Why, that little plagiarist.
That was my line!

368
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:40,331
[laughs]

369
00:16:40,414 --> 00:16:42,498
Obviously the sleep
hasn't been helping!

370
00:16:42,581 --> 00:16:44,206
[laughs]

371
00:16:44,289 --> 00:16:46,748
Did-did I say that?
I didn't say that.

372
00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,914
[laughs]
Hey, do me.

373
00:16:48,998 --> 00:16:51,248
- Insult me.
- All right.

374
00:16:51,331 --> 00:16:53,373
Roses are red,
violets are blue,

375
00:16:53,456 --> 00:16:56,289
I was born pretty,
what happened to you?

376
00:16:56,373 --> 00:16:59,331
[laughs]
That was a good one.

377
00:16:59,414 --> 00:17:01,081
Huh?
Whoa!

378
00:17:01,164 --> 00:17:04,914
Chef Bob, we don't speak
like that to our customers.

379
00:17:04,998 --> 00:17:08,289
Me next!
Shoot me a zinger!

380
00:17:08,373 --> 00:17:11,498
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't get that.

381
00:17:11,581 --> 00:17:13,664
I don't speak goober!

382
00:17:13,748 --> 00:17:16,289
[all laughing]

383
00:17:16,373 --> 00:17:19,248
I love it.
Guilty as charged.

384
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,789
[laughs]

385
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,789
[quirky music]

386
00:17:23,873 --> 00:17:26,289
[cheering]

387
00:17:26,373 --> 00:17:29,373
Oh, great.
I've created a monster.

388
00:17:29,456 --> 00:17:33,248
A funny, talented monster.

389
00:17:33,331 --> 00:17:34,539
[laughing]

390
00:17:34,623 --> 00:17:36,289
Oh, I gotta hand it to you.

391
00:17:36,373 --> 00:17:40,581
That new insult comedy act is
really bringing in the money.

392
00:17:40,664 --> 00:17:42,998
Hmm.

393
00:17:43,081 --> 00:17:46,748
- Ah, what's this here?
- Sorry, Mr. Krabs.

394
00:17:46,831 --> 00:17:49,956
It's a list of things Chef Bob
needs for his dressing room.

395
00:17:50,039 --> 00:17:51,664
Oh, does he?

396
00:17:51,748 --> 00:17:53,498
Fresh-cut seaweed,

397
00:17:53,581 --> 00:17:57,664
a manicurist for SpongeBob's
puppet hand--What?

398
00:17:57,748 --> 00:18:00,039
A bigger dressing room?

399
00:18:00,123 --> 00:18:02,789
In the meantime, we'll just
take over your office,

400
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,623
- blubber boy.
- Blubber boy?

401
00:18:05,706 --> 00:18:07,206
Huh?
Oh.

402
00:18:07,289 --> 00:18:11,248
No way!
[grunting]

403
00:18:11,331 --> 00:18:12,998
- [groans]
- What's the matter, Krabs?

404
00:18:13,081 --> 00:18:14,956
- You don't like money?
- [groans]

405
00:18:15,039 --> 00:18:17,498
What?
Of course I like money.

406
00:18:17,581 --> 00:18:20,289
The office will be ready
in five minutes.

407
00:18:20,373 --> 00:18:23,498
Chef Bob, I think your
insults are mean and hurtful.

408
00:18:23,581 --> 00:18:26,289
What do you say we just go back
to the Krabby Patty routines,

409
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,123
- huh?
- Need I remind you that

410
00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:31,664
my insults pay your salary?

411
00:18:31,748 --> 00:18:35,623
Yes, sir.
I mean, no, sir.

412
00:18:35,706 --> 00:18:38,873
Chef Bob, you stole my line.

413
00:18:38,956 --> 00:18:41,331
I do all the insults
around here.

414
00:18:41,414 --> 00:18:44,706
Oh, I am so sorry, Squidward.

415
00:18:44,789 --> 00:18:46,623
You're absolutely right.

416
00:18:46,706 --> 00:18:50,039
Um, oh, well, uh, thank you.

417
00:18:50,123 --> 00:18:53,623
It's-it's-it's really
not such a big deal.

418
00:18:53,706 --> 00:18:56,373
Let me make it up to you.
Hi, everybody!

419
00:18:56,456 --> 00:18:59,123
I'd like to introduce you
to a very good friend of mine.

420
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:03,206
Squidward Tentacles!
[cheers and applause]

421
00:19:03,289 --> 00:19:06,748
Huh?
Oh, no, please, please.

422
00:19:06,831 --> 00:19:08,206
You're-you're too kind.

423
00:19:08,289 --> 00:19:10,206
I was gonna ask Squidward
how old he was,

424
00:19:10,289 --> 00:19:13,789
but then I remembered
he can't count that high.

425
00:19:13,873 --> 00:19:14,831
Huh?

426
00:19:14,914 --> 00:19:17,664
[laughter]

427
00:19:21,914 --> 00:19:24,039
Hmm?
[growls]

428
00:19:24,123 --> 00:19:26,081
All right, that's it!

429
00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:28,664
You can't talk to Squidward
that way!

430
00:19:28,748 --> 00:19:30,789
He is one of my best friends.

431
00:19:30,873 --> 00:19:33,206
[quirky music]

432
00:19:33,289 --> 00:19:35,623
That's even more insulting.

433
00:19:35,706 --> 00:19:37,206
Get a load of him, folks!

434
00:19:37,289 --> 00:19:39,748
He must've been born on a
highway because that's where

435
00:19:39,831 --> 00:19:42,914
most accidents happen.
Yeah!

436
00:19:42,998 --> 00:19:46,414
[clucking]
[laughter]

437
00:19:46,498 --> 00:19:48,081
[shouting]

438
00:19:48,164 --> 00:19:50,581
- Ow!
- Not funny!

439
00:19:50,664 --> 00:19:53,206
[both shouting]

440
00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:59,956
[laughter]

441
00:20:00,039 --> 00:20:02,831
[shouting]

442
00:20:02,914 --> 00:20:05,456
He scores!

443
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,831
[chattering]

444
00:20:07,914 --> 00:20:10,998
- Have a drink!
- [gasping]

445
00:20:11,081 --> 00:20:14,081
[gargling]

446
00:20:14,164 --> 00:20:18,623
No, no!
[shouting]

447
00:20:20,539 --> 00:20:22,706
[all oohing]

448
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,456
[rumbling]

449
00:20:24,539 --> 00:20:27,706
[both shouting]

450
00:20:27,789 --> 00:20:28,956
[exciting music]

451
00:20:29,039 --> 00:20:30,498
En garde!

452
00:20:30,581 --> 00:20:33,623
[both grunting]

453
00:20:37,581 --> 00:20:40,789
[groaning]

454
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,831
[laughing]

455
00:20:42,914 --> 00:20:46,164
[both groaning]

456
00:20:46,248 --> 00:20:49,289
[all gasping]

457
00:20:50,873 --> 00:20:53,748
[both grunting]

458
00:20:55,998 --> 00:20:58,873
[screaming]

459
00:20:58,956 --> 00:21:02,998
[both crying]

460
00:21:03,081 --> 00:21:06,539
Oh! Ah! Ugh!

461
00:21:06,623 --> 00:21:07,998
[all muttering]

462
00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:10,831
Me customers!

463
00:21:10,914 --> 00:21:11,956
[groans]

464
00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:13,748
All right, enough of this.

465
00:21:13,831 --> 00:21:16,331
[grunts]

466
00:21:16,414 --> 00:21:21,456
Chef Bob,
you are hereby fired!

467
00:21:21,539 --> 00:21:25,206
Mr. Squidward,
will you do the honors?

468
00:21:25,289 --> 00:21:26,873
[quirky music]

469
00:21:26,956 --> 00:21:30,831
Let me help you slip into
something more comfortable.

470
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:33,123
Like the gutter.

471
00:21:33,206 --> 00:21:36,123
[quirky music]

472
00:21:36,206 --> 00:21:41,039
♪ ♪

473
00:21:41,123 --> 00:21:42,456
[sighs]

474
00:21:42,539 --> 00:21:44,956
I learned a very valuable
lesson today.

475
00:21:45,039 --> 00:21:48,873
To always be yourself
and not hide behind a puppet?

476
00:21:48,956 --> 00:21:52,206
Well, yeah, that, but mostly
don't slam your puppet hand

477
00:21:52,289 --> 00:21:54,206
in a register drawer.

478
00:21:54,289 --> 00:21:56,414
[both laughing]

479
00:21:56,498 --> 00:21:58,998
[laughing]

480
00:21:59,081 --> 00:22:00,831
Ow.

481
00:22:00,914 --> 00:22:02,414
[screams]

482
00:22:02,498 --> 00:22:04,623
both: What is it,
Mr. Squidward?

483
00:22:04,706 --> 00:22:07,206
It's-it's alive!

484
00:22:07,289 --> 00:22:08,748
And now it's time for...

485
00:22:08,831 --> 00:22:11,248
"The Chef Bob
Cooking with Insults Show"!

486
00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:14,956
And here's your host,
Chef Bob!

487
00:22:15,039 --> 00:22:18,414
Hi, everybody!
Who's hungry?

488
00:22:18,498 --> 00:22:20,623
[cheers and applause]

489
00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:23,664
All right, roses are red,
violets are blue.

490
00:22:23,748 --> 00:22:27,081
I was born pretty,
what happened to you?

491
00:22:27,164 --> 00:22:28,873
[cheers and applause]

492
00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:30,998
Yay, yeah!

493
00:22:31,081 --> 00:22:33,373
[all groaning]

494
00:22:39,039 --> 00:22:42,748
[tropical music]

495
00:22:42,831 --> 00:22:46,789
♪ ♪