Are you ready, kids?
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
♪ Ohh... ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
- all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[waves crashing]
♪ ♪
[militaristic grunting]
Now, we all know what this day is.
Today is the day when Plankton tries to steal
the Krabby Patty formula, sir!
Like he does every day.
But this time, he's not going to catch me
with me spatula down! [laughs]
Ooh? [laughs]
SpongeBob
you're on guard duty, boy!
Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs!
Yah!
And I'll go undercover.
[snoring]
- Hm? - Hut, two, three, four!
Hut, two, three, four!
♪ Krabby Patties are the best ♪
♪ They'll put hair on your chest ♪
[gasps]
Oh!
[falteringly] ♪ Krabby Patties are the best ♪
♪ They'll put hairs... into your nest ♪
[yawns]
Ow.
Any sign of Plankton?
Uh, afraid not, Mr. Krabs.
Maybe he's on vacation.
Don't be silly!
We always take our trips together,
to keep an eye on each other.
What's taking that crook so long?
[jaunty accordion music]
Hm... Maybe the door is stuck.
[humming]
♪ ♪
Ah, for--these customers are blocking the way!
[yelling]
♪ ♪
[sighs] There we go.
Nice, open path.
Hm? Mm...
Hey! Well, maybe he just needs
a little incentive.
[ukulele music]
[fanfare] [chuckles]
There we go.
[stealthy jazz music]
Oh.
Maybe he doesn't want me formula anymore.
[gasps]
He took the bait!
We're going to red alert!
[alarmed music]
[hubbub]
♪ ♪
Batten down the hatches!
Furl the deck!
Stop that greedy green goober!
[panting]
Oh.
[sighs] Ow.
♪ ♪
Doggone it.
Can I get some ketchup over here?
Please?
False alarm.
all: Whoa!
Oof!
[all groaning]
Closing time!
[jaunty music]
♪ ♪
And just where do you think
you two are going?
It's customary to go home at closing time.
Aren't you going home, Mr. Krabs?
[laughing] Oh, I'm not budging.
Plankton is gonna try something.
I don't know when. I don't know where.
Probably... here.
Well, yeah. But when he does,
I'll be waiting for him.
[laughs]
I'll be waiting right here.
Morning! Hm?
I guess Mr. Krabs went home after all.
No, I'm still here...
Waiting for that blasted Plankton!
both: Gah!
[disconcerting scales]
- Yeah, I'll take-- - Me patty formula?
Huh? I knew it!
You in there, Plankton? [grunts angrily]
Mr. Krabs, that's not Plankton!
I will never set foot in this establishment again!
From now on, I'm using the drive-through!
[gasps]
[humming contentedly]
- Whoa! - Aha!
Trying to to sneak a Krabby Patty to Plankton, eh?
But Eugene, it's just a to-go order.
[mocking gibberish]
Well, from now on, all patties are to be eaten
on the premises!
What are you gonna do now, ban pockets?
Capital idea, Mr. Squidward.
There'll be a $50-a-barrel surcharge from now on.
[runaway music]
Whoa, hey, slow down there, Grampa.
Let's just see here.
Aha!
Another one of Plankton's spies!
I just wanted some for later.
You're banned!
♪ ♪
Hm...
So Plankton's recruiting
baby burglars now!
[cries]
You're banned!
You! You're banned! You're banned!
Banned!
- Ah... - Banned!
[groans]
[unhinged string music]
You're all banned!
[gibbering]
Mr. Krabs, I don't think Plankton's coming.
Nonsense.
[knocking] [gasps]
See? It's that stinker Plankton now.
What do you want?
Uh... A Krabby Patty?
- Why? - I'm hungry.
Mr. Krabs, that's just Sandy.
I'm not falling for it.
That's the worst squirrel suit I've ever seen.
[whimpers]
[ukulele music]
[gibbering]
Do you think Mr. Krabs is acting... strange?
[manic gibbering, laughter]
He seems fine to me.
Maybe we should postpone
our plans for tonight.
Plans? Aha!
You're both working for Plankton!
Get out of me restaurant,
you tricky treacherous traitors!
[both groaning]
[suspenseful music]
I know you're in here, Plankton.
Where you hiding?
I'm right here
at the Chum Bucket!
Come on down
and try our new Chum Nuggets.
Heh. Whew.
[screams]
[dramatic music]
Oh. [chuckles]
Just a--just a cup.
[laughs]
Ah! Oh?
[maniacal laughter]
Ah!
[dramatic music]
[screams]
[gibbering]
♪ ♪
[panting]
[screams]
Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of yourself.
[sighs]
I'm starting to see things. [laughs]
[maniacal laughter]
[screams, gibbers]
Huh?
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
Those two ARE
working for Plankton!
[gasps]
♪ ♪
Ow.
Me own daughter?
♪ ♪
Oh, not Old Man Jenkins!
[cries]
Everyone really is out to get you.
Aren't they, my little formula?
[doorbell rings]
Mr. Krabs?
[stiltedly] You have got to come with me
to... The Chum Bucket,
for Plankton has kidnapped Squidward.
Oh, so that's Plankton's evil plan?
He wants me formula as ransom!
What do we do?
What? What's that?
Oh, that's just brilliant!
Hold on a minute.
I'll go get the ransom.
Oh, you want a Krabby Patty, do you?
Well, I'll give you a Krabby Patty.
[laughs maniacally]
Oh!
Ooh?
[laughs evilly]
Okay, let's go rescue Squidward.
[laughs]
[mysterious orchestral music]
[muffled speech]
[laughs evilly]
Surprised, Krabs?
Not at all, Sheldon.
I knew you were up to something.
Oh, yeah?
How about now?
all: Surprise!
[screams]
[confused noises]
Oh, come, Krabs.
It's the anniversary of the first time
I tried to steal your Krabby Patty formula!
So we threw you a surprise party.
You mean you weren't working for Plankton?
Of course not, Mr. Krabs.
Oh, I shouldn't have suspected you, SpongeBob.
Whew. Won't need these anymore.
[laughs]
Oh, boy, Krabby Patties!
Yee-haw!
[excited hubbub]
[screams]
No! Don't eat the patties!
- Huh? - Gotcha.
[laughs]
[gibbers]
[energetic music]
Ah!
♪ ♪
Whew.
Ah, tartar sauce!
[groans]
[screams]
♪ ♪
[all oohing]
♪ ♪
Yay.
[ukulele music]
♪ ♪
[excited chatter]
A little help here!
Did you enjoy the surprise party, Mr. Krabs?
Eh, I'll tell you in a second.
[grunts] Huh?
[angelic chorus]
Ooh, that fool Krabs
left the Krabby Patty formula behind!
[chuckles]
[nervous vocalization] Mommy.
[ukulele music]
Ooh.
Yes, boyo. I enjoyed it very much.
[laughs]
[jaunty ukulele music]
♪ ♪
Why, you...
What I do?
Why, you...
What I do?
Why, you...
What I do?
[laughing hysterically]
Wow!
It's "The Sir Urchin
and Snail Fail Show"!
It's cartoon time, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob? SpongeBob?
[ponderous orchestral music]
SpongeBob?
♪ ♪
SpongeRobert?
Oh!
It's cartoon time!
I'll get our "Sir Urchin" hats.
Whoa.
Not so fast, SpongeBob.
What's in the secret room?
It's not a secret room, Patrick.
It's my library.
W-what's that word mean?
A library is a... playground for your mind.
[vacant drone]
[laughter]
Hm...
[laughs]
Let's do it! It's library time!
Ow! Ow!
What I do?
[ukulele music]
[enthusiastic grunting]
[yells]
[meows]
[hisses]
Oh, tender, naive Patrick,
it's not that kind of playground.
It's a place to read books! See?
I love books!
[laughing] Book!
Book!
Gary, I don't think Patrick knows
how to use a book properly.
Ow!
[ukulele music]
Behold the books, Patrick.
Each one has a story to tell.
- Whoa. - Look out!
Those books are cliffhangers,
stories for the adventurous.
[pained grunt]
[nervous yelling]
I'll save you!
Whoa!
[dramatic orchestral music]
There are logbooks,
unabridged books,
and books with bridges.
Whoa!
[laughs]
Listen to the soothing sounds
of the audiobooks.
[seagulls crying]
I can hear the ocean.
[toilet flushing]
Me too!
[laughter]
Cookbooks, for the culinarily curious.
[vacant grunting]
I like the pictures.
Ah, but the pictures are a mere snack!
It's the words in the book that really feed your brain.
Let's start you off with an old book.
[light orchestral music]
[eerie music]
[sniffs] Ah, musty old books smell.
Now read the words, Patrick.
Oh, read the--
oh, uh...
"Once...
Upon a..."
"Once upon a"...
Once upon a what?
To continue the story,
you have to turn the page.
Oh.
"Time."
"Once upon a time"!
[laughs]
That's the most amazing trick I've ever seen!
I want to stare at more words!
Then feast your eyes!
[ethereal music]
♪ ♪
Once upon a time...
[quavering]
Once a--
You're too slow!
[muttering]
He likes it! Hey, Patrick!
[muttering]
♪ ♪
[sniffing]
[gasps]
♪ ♪
[industrious grunting]
♪ ♪
[dramatic orchestral music]
♪ ♪
Ooh, Patrick, your head is absorbing
all the book knowledge,
just like a sponge!
[laughs]
♪ ♪
[laughs] Go, Patrick!
Get those words!
Get them good!
♪ ♪
Stop reading words!
♪ ♪
Wow, what a bookworm!
Whoa.
Yes, SpongeBob?
Uh, Patrick, I think
that's enough knowledge for one day.
Looks like you're full.
Nonsense, dear boy.
One can never accumulate too much information.
[genteelly] Ahem.
Well, we're fresh out of books.
Come on, I'll buy you an ice cream.
Ah, I must confess to feeling
more than slightly peckish.
Patrick, I'm so proud of you!
Ooh, you're a big brain now!
Ooh!
Oh, a skosh too big, it seems, eh, wha'?
- "Eh, wha'" what? - [laughs]
Oh, no matter, my plebeian friend.
I shall simply exit posthaste,
posterior-first.
Oof!
- I got it. - Careful.
Little bit... Wow.
You really got your melon jammed in there, didn't you?
Oh, true, SpongeBob.
Eh, but we can easily solve this problem
on a quantum physics level. Take this down.
If we reduce my subatomic particles
by way of orbital electromagnetism,
we'll create a harmonic oscillation
within the molecules,
resulting in a wave-function collapse,
which will enable my "melon,"
as you so drolly put it,
to slip out.
Okay, sure.
Let's give it a try.
[muttering]
[otherworldly music]
[meows]
Gary!
Speak to me.
Oh...
[meows]
Oh, Gary, you're back.
I'd know that slime anywhere.
[gasps] Slime!
That's it! [laughs]
Slime it up, Gar-bear.
[laughs]
Abominable.
Yeah, that Gary grease ought to do it.
Okay, Patrick, pull yourself out.
[jaunty ukulele music]
♪ ♪
[yells]
Hey. "Head Shrinking for Beginners."
Hm...
[energetic drum music]
[screams]
[chicken clucks]
♪ ♪
[chanting, yelling]
♪ ♪
[chicken clucks]
[high-pitched] Oh, I give up!
I guess we'll have to live here in the library forever, Gary.
[meows]
[cries]
SpongeBob, your typically moronic attempt
has given me the solution!
Perhaps because I had to smarten up
to get stuck...
You'll need to dumb down to get free!
[laughs]
Who's sporting the big brain now, hm?
[laughs]
All right, Patrick.
Let's get stupid!
Yeah!
[industrious ukulele music]
♪ ♪
Electronics.
♪ ♪
Whew.
- I hope this works. - Ah.
♪ ♪
Why, you...
What I do?
Why, you...
What I do?
I'm sorry, dear boy,
but watching this mindless drivel
isn't affecting me in the least.
[vacant moan]
We've got drool!
Patrick, it's working!
What I do?
This is insulting my intelligence.
[laughing] And I adore it!
[lower, more enthusiastic laughing]
[rumbling]
What I do?
Why, you...
What I do?
[frightened noises]
[crashing sounds]
We did it, Patrick!
The mindless drivel is destroying your knowledge!
[laughs]
[vacant laughter]
[building orchestral music]
♪ ♪
Whoops. Here, Patrick.
You may need this little fella.
[vacant groan]
Huh?
Ah.
[ukulele music]
♪ ♪
Well, Patrick, this is where we came in.
Ready for some ice cream?
Boy, am I ever!
Oof. A book?
I love books!
[yells]
A book! [laughs]
That's right, Patrick.
Play nice with the pretty squares.
Gary, this is really one for the books, eh?
- [laughs] - [meows dully]
[laughs]
♪ ♪