1 00:00:08,048 --> 00:00:11,136 - Are you ready, kids? - [kids] Aye, aye, Captain. 2 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:14,765 - I can't hear you. - [kids] Aye, aye, Captain! 3 00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:17,726 Oh... 4 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,854 ♪ Who lives in a pineapple Under the sea? ♪ 5 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,897 ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ 6 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,941 ♪ Absorbent and yellow And porous is he ♪ 7 00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,693 ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ 8 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,903 ♪ If nautical nonsense Be something you wish ♪ 9 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,446 ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ 10 00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,907 ♪ Then drop on the deck And flop like a fish ♪ 11 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,826 - ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ - Ready? 12 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:37,872 [all] ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ 13 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:39,790 ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ 14 00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:43,168 ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ 15 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,629 [laughs] 16 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:48,131 [plays tune] 17 00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:07,067 [humming] 18 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,746 [sighs] 19 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:23,166 [upbeat music on TV] 20 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,639 Hello and welcome, one and all, 21 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,308 to a super-special episode of House Fancy! 22 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,519 I'm your host, Nicholas Withers. 23 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:47,399 Our first guest on today's show will be none other than... 24 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,109 [phone rings] 25 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,527 Oh... 26 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,072 [clears throat] Hello? 27 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,950 Uh, hello. Uh... 28 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,576 Hell-o. 29 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,661 Hell-o! 30 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:03,082 [gasps] This isn't Squilliam Fancyson, 31 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,167 my lifelong rival who I met in high school band class, is it? 32 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,169 The same. 33 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:11,715 You wouldn't happen to be watching House Fancy, would you? 34 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,842 I was until you called. 35 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:17,054 Well, Squiddy, I enjoy our chats, 36 00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:19,556 but my catered lunch awaits. 37 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:24,311 And you know how hard being fabulous is on an empty stomach. 38 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:27,022 Wait! Why did you ask if I was watching House Fancy? 39 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,691 Sorry, Squilliam, but we've got to get back to the show. 40 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,486 Who's that talking in the background? 41 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,572 Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry, Nicky, dear. 42 00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:39,701 Well, toodle-loo, Squidward. Enjoy the program. 43 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:44,039 OK, folks! We'll be back after these important messages. 44 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,083 [shattering] 45 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:50,378 Welcome back to House Fancy. I'm Nicholas Withers. 46 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,840 Here next to me is Squilliam Fancyson. 47 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,424 Hello, peasants. 48 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,093 [furious groan] 49 00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:57,385 Let me start by saying 50 00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:00,179 what a lovely facade you have, Mister Fancyson. 51 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,807 Why, thank you, Nick! 52 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,434 And your house doesn't look too bad, either. 53 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:05,644 Oh, Nicky! 54 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,270 Camera crew, can we get a shot 55 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,189 of Mr. Fancyson's fabulous house, please? 56 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,277 Hey! That's no better than my house. 57 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,202 [sniffs] 58 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:26,957 I bid you welcome to my foyer. 59 00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:30,085 - It's simply glorious! - [mimics mockingly] 60 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,129 It truly is, Nicky. 61 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:35,423 It's like I've died and gone to fancy heaven. 62 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,929 Is that what I think it is? 63 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:44,933 It sure is. It's a gilded doorknob. 64 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,144 Absolutely magical. 65 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,437 Absolutely imported! 66 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,940 - May I? - But of course. 67 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,277 - Oh, lovely. - Isn't it? 68 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,654 Well, I have to say, Squilliam, 69 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,240 and I think I'm speaking for all of our viewers out there 70 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,910 when I'm saying this, you are truly a fancy man. 71 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:07,164 Oh, well, all this gushing is perfectly deserved. 72 00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,457 And now, I would like to present to you 73 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:13,253 my favorite room in the house. 74 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:19,009 It's all custom. Ah, look at this. 75 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:22,721 It's my jewel-encrusted toilet paper holder! 76 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,306 Such class. 77 00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:30,104 Come. Let me show you... the roof. 78 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,940 - [laughs] An elevator? - Watch your step. 79 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:39,487 This may take a while. Just sit back and relax. 80 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,655 What the...? 81 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:46,203 - A whirlpool bath elevator? - I brought some soap. 82 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:49,164 - [elevator dings] - All ashore! 83 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:52,500 Welcome to my rooftop garden. 84 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,128 Romantic grotto, 85 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,047 sparkling berry mineral soda waterfall, 86 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,340 and my personal favorite, 87 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:04,638 a 130-foot long sculpture of my uni-brow. 88 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,015 It's huge, and life-like. 89 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,391 If you look closely, 90 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:13,063 you'll notice it's made entirely out of gilded doorknobs. 91 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,775 - You have the fanciest... - [phone rings] 92 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,611 - Uh... what? - You have the fanciest... 93 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,738 [phone rings] 94 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,949 I have the fanciest ring? 95 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,618 - No, your phone is ringing. - Oh. 96 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,830 Hello? 97 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,499 Oh, yeah. Hang on. Uh, it's for you. 98 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,961 [clears throat] Hello? Hello... Hello? 99 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,255 Hello. My name is Squidward Tentacles, 100 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:43,010 and my house is far fancier than that slob, Squilliam's. 101 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,552 - Really? - Really! 102 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:49,224 OK, we'll be at your house in two hours with a camera crew. 103 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,644 Two hours? But I haven't even had time to wash my hair. 104 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,938 [shrieks] There's a stain on the rug! 105 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:58,025 Uh... Uh... I'll use this chair to hide it. 106 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,651 There we go. 107 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,069 Now, I'll just... [screams] 108 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,613 There's a hideous hole in that wall! 109 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:07,617 I'll just use this painting to cover it up. Perfect. 110 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,703 [screams] No, no! 111 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,163 [clock chimes] 112 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:14,749 Oh, I'll never get this place in shape in time. 113 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,003 SpongeBob, how long have you been spying on me? 114 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,255 Um, what day is it today? 115 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,757 It's the day you go away and never come back! 116 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,219 But Squidward, if I do that, then how am I going to help you 117 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,846 get your house ready for the big TV show? 118 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,307 - How did you know about that? - I was spying on you. 119 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:32,391 You want me to get the cops down here again? Because... 120 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,519 [clock chimes] 121 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,731 [sighs] All right, fine. 122 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,692 But one slip-up, and you're out of here, comprendo? 123 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,028 Mucho comprendo, señor habanero. 124 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:47,490 All right, first I'm going to give you something so simple, 125 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:50,285 a person without a brain could get it done right. 126 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,494 Ooh, that's good, 127 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,330 cos I lent my brain to Patrick for the weekend. 128 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,957 - Really? - No, not really. 129 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,876 He traded me these chocolate bars for it. 130 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,711 I don't care! Just use this paint 131 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,339 to cover up that faded part on the wall. 132 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,966 - Don't touch anything else. - OK. 133 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:11,056 [slurping] 134 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,105 [splattering] 135 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,856 SpongeBob? What was that noise? 136 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,692 [screams] Skin me alive and drench me in boiling oil! 137 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,652 What have you done to my living room? 138 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,072 I told you to paint the faded spot! 139 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,907 Well, it all looked kind of faded. 140 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,200 [hisses] 141 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,077 [clock chimes] 142 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,537 Never mind! Maybe it won't show up on camera. 143 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,497 Here. Help me move this sofa. 144 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,750 You got it, Squiddy! Where're we moving her to? 145 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,253 Hang on. I'm trying to get a grip on the thing. 146 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:44,423 Now, don't move it till I say... Ow! 147 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,384 OK, it's on my foot. Don't... Ow! 148 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,970 - OK. - [screams] 149 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:54,599 Ow! SpongeBob, I told you not to move it till I said... Ow! 150 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,602 - Why do you keep moving it? - Cos you keep saying "Ow!" 151 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,729 [screams] 152 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:03,066 I don't need you. I can move it myself. 153 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,943 See-ee-ee-ee! 154 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,695 Wow, Squidward, you're so strong! 155 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,072 [crashing] 156 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,783 And you split your sofa in half. 157 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,493 It'll be really easy to move now! 158 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,204 - [doorbell rings] - Oh, no! They're already here. 159 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,415 Go get a vacuum to clean up all the sofa bits. 160 00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,625 I got to run upstairs and dress my wound. 161 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,918 Roger! 162 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:26,340 OK, Squidward, found the vacuum. Squidward? 163 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,469 - Well, I'll just vacuum for him. - [vacuum whirrs] 164 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:37,476 Hmm, Squidward's house is really messy. 165 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,478 I'm going to need some extra power. 166 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,939 [grunts] 167 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,399 Oof! 168 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:54,117 [slurping] 169 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,125 OK, SpongeBob, I finished... What the?! 170 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,628 Don't' worry, Squidward, I'll turn it off. 171 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,216 - Come out of there. - [doorbell] 172 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:12,302 - Uh, hang on, please. - [doorbell rings] 173 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,554 Please, just one more minute, Nick. 174 00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,097 Who's Nick? 175 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:17,932 Sorry, Squidward, I couldn't wait any longer. 176 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:21,019 I gotta use your toilet. No questions. Thanks. 177 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:25,023 [muffled groaning] 178 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,775 [toilet flushes] 179 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,110 Whew! 180 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:33,240 I wouldn't go in there for a couple days. Or weeks. 181 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,325 [coughing] 182 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,035 Please. Please! 183 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,621 Somebody put me out of my misery. [coughs] 184 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:44,959 [wheezes] Have mercy on my soul. 185 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,128 - [whimpers] - [knocking] 186 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:50,173 Oh, hey Squidward, if you see SpongeBob, 187 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,217 can you give him his brain back? 188 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,677 I was borrowing it for the weekend. 189 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,931 I'll just set it, uh, here. See you. 190 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,981 - Thank you, Patrick. - [rattling] 191 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,859 Oh, no! 192 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,114 [screams] 193 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,284 [explosion] 194 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,540 Hello, and welcome back to House Fancy. 195 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:26,126 We are at the home of Mr. Squidward Tentacles, 196 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,920 who claims his house is far fancier 197 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:32,591 than that of Squilliam Fancyson. Let's take a look. 198 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:41,057 Well, I... I'm not quite sure how to say this... 199 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,393 Go ahead, say it. 200 00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:46,563 Squidward Tentacles, you seem to have ushered in 201 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:50,650 an entire new era in house fanciness! 202 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,194 - Huh?! - I have. I have?! 203 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,780 What you have done harkens back to the illustrious 204 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,741 "Post Primitive" movement, popularized by Saul Limpkins. 205 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,827 Was he a big inspiration for you? 206 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,287 Why, yes. 207 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,624 - I've studied him for years. - [groans] 208 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,585 I would like to announce that Squidward's house will be 209 00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:11,630 featured in an hour-long, commercial-free special. 210 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:16,343 And Squidward will be crowned House Fancy Prince of the Year, 211 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:19,387 an honor which was originally to be bestowed upon Squilliam, 212 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,639 but now isn't. 213 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,933 - [groans] - Yay! 214 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,477 [whimpers] 215 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,728 Oh, don't worry, Squilliam, 216 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,273 I might be able to get Squidward to help you redecorate. 217 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:33,234 He is a personal friend of mine. Success hasn't gone to his head. 218 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,821 - Still the same old great guy... - [sobs] 219 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,170 [thunder crashes] 220 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,548 And this is the maximum-security level. 221 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:55,882 Since this is your first day, 222 00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,842 I'll let you peek at our number one inmate. 223 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:01,012 He's too dangerous to let him around the other inmates. 224 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,139 Why? What'd he do? Rob a bank? 225 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:07,060 Worse. He tried to steal the Krabby Patty formula. 226 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:10,271 Oh... OK... 227 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,565 So, that's why we keep him 228 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,692 behind these impenetrable six-inch-steel doors. 229 00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,318 [door creaks] 230 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,278 Course, it helps to lock it. 231 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,532 He's gone! He's so small, he could be anywhere. 232 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,492 He could be right under our noses. 233 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:28,498 Uh, Frank, where's your moustache? 234 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,710 [siren blares] 235 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,636 Ha-ha! Those fools will never find me now. 236 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:47,267 Aw, come on, baby, you know how long I been in stir. 237 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,853 Get out! And stay out, you two-time loser! 238 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,022 After everything I've done for you! 239 00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:56,817 [Karen] Beat it, you jail bird! And take all your junk, too. 240 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,822 [grunts] 241 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,075 Well, that's just great. 242 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,703 Hey! It's my old guitar. 243 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:09,830 I used to play it when I was in that band as a kid. 244 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,459 Man, those were good times. 245 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,795 OK, everybody, one, two, one, two, three. 246 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,881 [flat notes] 247 00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:25,472 You know, I don't think I've had any good times. 248 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:28,642 ♪ Oh, I wish I was frying up Some Krabby Patties ♪ 249 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,102 ♪ That's what I really love to do ♪ 250 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,396 ♪ Take a cup full of Whoo-ooh-ooh ♪ 251 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,774 ♪ And a pinch of awooga ♪ 252 00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:37,858 ♪ A teaspoon of... ♪ [blows raspberry] 253 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,320 He's singing about the Krabby Patty. 254 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,905 If I can just get him to explain that song, 255 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,450 I'll have the Krabby Patty formula! 256 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,201 - ♪ Mix in some... ♪ - Hi, SpongeBob. 257 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,578 ♪ Nyah, nyah, nyah ♪ 258 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,497 That's a real nice song. 259 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,749 ♪ Add a splash of whee ♪ 260 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:55,627 But could you explain those "Whee!" parts? 261 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,295 ♪ And when I'm done I chop up some... ♪ 262 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,797 [yelps] 263 00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,881 ♪ Love ♪ 264 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,383 Are you out of your mind? 265 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,802 Uh, I mean, 266 00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:06,554 that was a delightful song you were singing. 267 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,807 Thanks, Plankton. Mr. Krabs makes me censor out 268 00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:10,767 all the patty ingredients from my lyrics. 269 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,393 Oh, that's terrible! 270 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:15,146 Krabs shouldn't stifle a true artist like you. 271 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:18,358 Go ahead and sing your patty song, uncensored! 272 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,235 [gasps] I know what you're doing. 273 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,780 What? Me? I'm not trying to steal the patty formula! 274 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:27,325 You want me to join your band. 275 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,035 What band? I don't have a band. 276 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,870 Oh, you can't fool me, 277 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:32,997 not when you've got an awesome guitar like that. 278 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,666 And only a true rocker 279 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,293 would have hair as greasy and nasty as yours. 280 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,379 It'll be so cool! We can write songs together. 281 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,088 Songs? 282 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,925 Yes! And you can teach me your Krabby Patty songs. 283 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,846 Yay! Come on. Let's go get our band together. 284 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,598 - Patrick! Patrick! - SpongeBob! SpongeBob! 285 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,267 - Patrick, I've got big news! - Me too! Me too! 286 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,352 What's your news? 287 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,979 I found out where boogers come from. 288 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,898 [whispers] 289 00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:02,943 - Ew, really? - Uh-huh. What's your news? 290 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:06,113 Plankton just asked me to join his rock and roll band. 291 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,824 Can Patrick join our band? 292 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,992 - Sure, whatever. - Hear that? You're in. 293 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:13,913 All right! I play a mean belly. 294 00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:18,877 ["William Tell" on timpani] 295 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:27,427 Wow. Patrick, we're going to be famous! 296 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:30,971 [sarcastic laughter] Give me a break. 297 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,391 You don't know anything about music. 298 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:37,478 Too bad you're not a musical genius like me. 299 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,356 - Oh, Squidward! - [grunts] What the? 300 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,483 Would you help us by joining our band? 301 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,778 Well, I could help you, 302 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:48,489 but I wouldn't soil my art playing rock and roll, 303 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:52,201 dressing all in black, wearing boots covered in spikes. 304 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:57,665 Playing enormous stadiums filled with screaming, adoring fans, 305 00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:02,462 clapping, demanding encores. Cheering me! 306 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,547 [mock cheering] 307 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,215 Oh. I've changed my mind. 308 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,176 I'll join your band and help you bottom feeders. 309 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,262 But I've got to get in shape first. 310 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,140 Isn't this great, Plankton? Squidward is going to help us. 311 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,851 Hmm? Uh, yeah, great. 312 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,814 You know, Patrick, being in a band 313 00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:24,734 gives you the liberty to dress with a little more... 314 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:27,069 - How should I put this? - Yeah? 315 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,196 Well, with just a little more... 316 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:32,826 - Go ahead, say it, SpongeBob. - You know... pizzazz! 317 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:36,704 [clears throat] Perhaps you didn't notice my new hair-do. 318 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,707 Whoa-ho-ho! I stand corrected. 319 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:44,044 And unlike your nasty little wig, mine is real! 320 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,088 Man! How'd you grow that so fast? 321 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,299 Natural talent. Watch this. 322 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,678 [grunts] 323 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,722 Whoo! Yeah! Check that fancy follicle work. 324 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,390 Hey, check this one out! 325 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,479 [grunts] 326 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,357 Oh, man, Squidward's not going to want to miss this! 327 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,942 - [phone rings] - Hello? 328 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:08,027 Squidward, aren't you coming to band practice? 329 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,278 Are you kidding?! 330 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,531 I've got a lot of work to do before I'm famous. 331 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,491 [grunts] 332 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,409 - [snap] - [screaming] 333 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,955 [chuckles] OK, then, we'll keep your seat warm. 334 00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,623 - Patrick? - I'm on it! 335 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,375 [blows] 336 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,251 Greetings, fellow band mates! 337 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,879 Hey, Plankton. What's that? 338 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,296 - T-shirts! - [both gasp] 339 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:29,549 [both] Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 340 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:34,554 "Plankton and the Patty Stealers?" 341 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,181 Uh, if you guys don't like the name... 342 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,767 I... 343 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,143 love it! 344 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:44,230 - Kind of vague and mysterious. - Can I get mine in pink? 345 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,357 [groans] 346 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,235 [laughs] It looks like a tattoo! 347 00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:51,404 Hey, Plankton, can our first song go like this? 348 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:54,032 [loud guitar note] 349 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,992 And then turn into one of those songs that goes... 350 00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:59,495 [loud screeching] 351 00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:02,582 Yes, perfect. Now, all we need are the lyrics. 352 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,709 You know, something personal. 353 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:09,839 Maybe a secret you know, or a favorite recipe, hmm? 354 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:12,967 Or one about my new friend, Plankton. 355 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,761 Or the virtues of wholesome living! 356 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,096 [screams] 357 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,681 The best kind of lyrics 358 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,892 are the ones that are deep and revealing. 359 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:24,938 Something only you know? [coughs] Secret recipe! 360 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,523 I once searched for my innermost secrets. 361 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,026 - All I found was this. - [beating pulse] 362 00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,737 Is that what you mean, Plankton? 363 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:37,283 [grunts] 364 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:44,123 - What is that? - It's my recording equipment. 365 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,750 [evil laugh] 366 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,919 Oh, my gosh! What do I do? 367 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,548 Just take a seat here, and I'll strap you in. 368 00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:57,762 Now, just relax and let the equipment do its job. 369 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:02,100 [sucking noise] 370 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:08,064 Now, let's see what's locked in his subconscious. 371 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,857 [radio static] 372 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,234 ♪ Time to feed him Time to feed him ♪ 373 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,988 ♪ Now it's Gary's Feeding time ♪ 374 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,197 - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ - Nope. 375 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:20,660 ♪ Brush, brush, brush my teeth Gently keep them clean ♪ 376 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:24,455 The Krabby Patty formula's got to be in here somewhere. 377 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,373 [feedback, static] 378 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:29,877 - What's going... [screams] - [electricity crackles] 379 00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,378 [groans] 380 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,845 [sobs] I'm a failure! 381 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:41,514 Cheer up, Plankton! We've still got a whole week 382 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,933 before our first gig at the Krusty Krab. 383 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:47,854 [sobs] A-At the Krusty Krab? 384 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,898 Uh-huh. But Krabs doesn't want us bugging the customers, 385 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,233 so we have to go in when nobody's there. 386 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:57,363 When nobody's there? [drools] 387 00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:01,617 [loud rock music] 388 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,454 [grunts] 389 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:10,043 [gasps] My perfect dream body! 390 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:16,007 [loud rock music] 391 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,345 [tires screech] 392 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,263 Oh, no! It's the cops. 393 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,265 - I can't let them see me! - Why? 394 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:30,604 Why? Cops are autograph hounds. Yeah, they're always after me. 395 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,565 Hmm, that's tough. Don't worry, I'll hide you. 396 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:33,983 [inhales] 397 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:36,652 Hey! What are you kids up to this late at night? 398 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:39,864 We're on our way to our first gig. We're in a band. 399 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:44,243 A band, huh? Well, that's, uh... Oh. 400 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:48,039 - You've got a, uh... - Got a, uh, what? [giggles] 401 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,708 Uh, it's right... 402 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,502 Yes? [giggles] 403 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:58,424 Just keep your nose clean, kid. 404 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,384 Sure thing, officer! 405 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,054 [blows nose] 406 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,304 They're gone. 407 00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:08,308 You will never speak of this to anyone. 408 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,145 Come on, come on! Hurry up. 409 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,773 Don't worry, I just need to get the key out. 410 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:17,026 [hums] 411 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:20,029 Give me that, you incompetent fool. 412 00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:23,532 Yes! The Krabby Patty formula is mine! 413 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:26,326 Uh, I mean, we'll have a great time! 414 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:30,206 Now, where does Krabs keep that formula? 415 00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:31,999 Whoo! Let's rock! 416 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,543 - Yeah! - We're gonna be stars! 417 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:38,256 All right, Squidward, are you ready?! 418 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:41,675 - [loud chord] - I'm ready! 419 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:44,887 OK! Patrick, are you ready? 420 00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:46,931 [drums, grunts] 421 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:49,725 Plankton, are you ready?! 422 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,227 [crickets chirp] 423 00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:53,854 Plankton? [gasps] Plankton! 424 00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:56,232 [feedback] 425 00:21:56,274 --> 00:21:58,151 Uh, I'm ready! 426 00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,693 Wait a minute. 427 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,946 Was this band just a front 428 00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:04,406 so you could steal the Krabby Patty secret formula? 429 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:08,161 What? No! I was in it for the music, man. 430 00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,329 [police sirens] 431 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:16,127 [sighs] Well, at least I'm back to my old cell. 432 00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:20,881 Oh, no, you're not. We've got a special cell for you. 433 00:22:20,923 --> 00:22:23,134 But I liked my old cell! 434 00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:24,718 Then you're gonna love this one. 435 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:28,430 There's no time to waste, Plankton! 436 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:31,142 We've only got 22 years to practice before our next gig! 437 00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,476 A one, and a two... 438 00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:36,480 - [loud rock music] - [Plankton screams]