Are you ready, kids?
[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
Aye-aye, Captain!
♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple Under the sea? ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow And porous is he ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ If nautical nonsense Be something you wish ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ Then drop on the deck And flop like a fish ♪
- ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪ - Ready?
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
[cackles]
[plays fluty tune]
[SpongeBob laughing]
[groans]
What the... [grunts] ...now?!
[SpongeBob babbling]
Stop!
What could you possibly be trying to do this time?
I'm not trying to do anything. I'm having a decent morning.
By running around and screaming like a banshee?
Oh, Squidward, a banshee screams like this!
[horrifying shriek]
There are two kinds of people.
There are people that are normal.
- And then there's you. - Really?
Yes, really! Maybe you should start acting a little more...
normal! [seethes]
I'm... not normal?
[angry muttering]
[sighs]
Squidward!
How does one become normal?
Well, how about you start by...
getting away from me, you little creature!
What's wrong with me?
I need to understand normal!
"How To Be Normal."
Hmm. This videotape should help.
Are you tired of being called a freak?
Do people throw you out of their homes? Well? Do they?
Yes, yes and yes!
Then join me as I take you on a Journey into Normality.
Normality.
The life of a normal person is relatively simple.
Here is your typical average Joe on his way to work.
See how he is dressed.
Even his hair is boring.
Notice his features. Nice and smooth,
without a crater or freckle to be seen.
Crater? And freckles?
In his office space, Mr. Normal...
...at least, that's on his name tag...
...works at a monotonous pace,
just as all the other normals do.
Take note of how they communicate.
[both] Hi! How are you?
[bell rings]
At the end of the day, Mr. Normal packs his things
and goes home to merrily start the cycle again
in the morning.
Yeah...
- I want one Krabby Patty. - Oh, great.
SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty.
What, no annoying blurbs today?
Hmm... strangely quiet.
[keys clacking]
SpongeBob?
- Hi, how are you? - What's the meaning of this?
I took your advice. From now on, I'm normal.
- "Normal," huh? - Yeah.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Whatever. I know you're just waiting to say something stupid.
Wonderful weather we're having.
Um... yes, it is.
OK, see you around.
Yeah. I'll, uh, I'll see you.
SpongeBob! What're you doing, sitting around?
We need Krabby Patties out there!
Yes, sir. I'll do it... normally.
Eh?
Wow, that's all it takes these days, huh?
Can you do more?
Oh, my! It's like printing money!
I wonder what got into SpongeBob.
- [tires screech] - And what the heck is that?!
Whose house is this?
Hi, how are you?
- Hi, SpongeBob. - Hi, how are you?
Good. Just came by to get a drink.
Wonderful weather we're having.
- It sure is. - OK, see you around.
Yeah. [chuckles] See you.
Oh, my. I could get used to this.
[upbeat music]
There you are, sir.
- [watch beeps] - Oh, yes, it's time again!
I've been meaning to say this,
but I've come to appreciate your demeanor lately.
You know, it's a funny thing, Squidward.
I smoothed out the edges of my personality,
and the rest just followed suit. Now, I am utterly normal.
[crunching]
[grunts] That ain't right.
I will never spend money here again.
- Never?! - Come on, guys.
These patties ain't worth the paper they're printed on.
Wait! Where are you going?
[yells] SpongeBob!
What're you doing back here?
Do you expect the customers to eat this?
Thanks to you, they're leaving in boatloads.
[dissatisfied grumbling]
- Maybe this thing is out of ink. - [sighs]
No, boy, you're missing the point.
You can't make Krabby Patties with ink and paper.
You gotta put your heart into it.
Now, get back to making patties the right way,
and stop acting so dull.
What you call dull, I call normal.
Well, till you decide to start making them patties
the way only you can,
I want you out of my place.
The decision to be normal
was more life-changing than I thought.
- Hi, how are you? - What happened to you?
- Oh, I got normal. - Whatever that means.
Hey, SpongeBob,
what do you say we charge into Jellyfish Fields,
nets ablaze!
Oh, let's do something normal, like window shopping.
Let's do this!
[grunts, strains]
- Yeah! Hey, your turn. - I think I'll pass.
I do need to de-fragment my hard drive. Like to help?
Hey, listen.
When you decide to do something fun, you know where to find me.
OK, see you around.
[doorbell rings]
Hi, how are you?
I never thought I'd hear myself say this,
but please come in, SpongeBob!
Thank you.
Tell me, what are you doing cooped up in here
when the weather outside is so... normal?
Well, today is dusting day,
the day I dust my 483 self-portraits.
That's something you don't see in the average house.
You know, SpongeBob, it's OK to be a little different.
And you know what else is abnormal?
Your nose is all bulbous and flappy.
Your eyes are a little odd too.
Looks like your whole face could use some work.
[squeaking] There we go. See?
- Looking normal-er already. - [screams]
One more thing. You don't wear pants.
And stay out of my home!
[sighs]
Hmm. What happened? I lost my job, my best friend,
and now I'm too normal for Squidward.
Maybe I have taken this normal thing too far.
No problem, SpongeBob. You made yourself normal.
Now all you have to do is re-weird yourself.
All it'll take is a mental adjustment
and some tight clenching.
Now, focus...
And clench... [strains]
Oh, well. If I'm going to get weird,
I'm going to need to see a professional.
[mumbles incoherently, laughs]
That's very nice, Patrick, but I need you to retrain me.
I want to be abnormal again.
Huh. I don't think you have what it takes.
Please, Patrick.
If anyone can teach me the arcane art of the weird,
it's you. Teach me how to be me again!
It won't be easy...
- But I'll do it! - Oh, thank you, Patrick!
First, I'll need a garden hose and a flat-bed truck.
And I'll need you to remove your trousers.
[laughter]
Patrick, I'm feeling very self-conscious right now.
Try to concentrate on your first lesson in weird.
See you on the other side, buddy!
[laughs]
- [truck horn] - Whoo-hoo!
[SpongeBob screams]
Mommy, Mommy, what are those things?
Those are undesirables, honey. We only talk to normal people.
SpongeBob! The weird therapy is working!
Your craters are coming back!
We just have to keep pushing the boundaries.
We've gotta get stranger!
Talk backwards!
Tap erus uoy era?
[belches]
It's happening!
The final transformation!
- Huh? - What happened?
I don't know. I guess I became... permanently normal.
No!
I don't want to be normal! [sobs]
- [knocking] - Go away! We're mourning!
[flatly] It's me, Squidward. I'm looking for SpongeBob.
- Hi. - [dramatic music]
How are you?
[screams]
SpongeBob, you're back to your square shape!
Wow, I guess Squidward's normal looks
scared me back to my original form!
Thanks, buddy! You saved my life.
Wonderful weather we're having, hmm?
It sure is, buddy. It sure is.
[both laugh]
[snores]
[fog horn]
[grunts]
[yawns]
[whistles]
[strains] Whoa...
[crash]
Gary, come and get it!
Gary? Gary? Gary?
Gary? Gary!
Huh. Gary must've gotten an early start.
Rise and shine, Squidward!
You don't wanna be late again.
OK, see you at the Krusty Krab.
I guess Squidward needs his beauty sleep.
Not everyone is blessed with my natural good looks.
Patrick, it's morning!
You don't want to forget to wake up again.
Patrick?
OK, see you after work, sleepy-head.
[whistles]
[grunts] La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
[clock ticks]
[bell rings]
Hmm. Slow day.
Goodnight, Squidward. Goodnight, Mr. Krabs.
Gary, I'm home!
Gary? You here, buddy?
Gary?
[gasps] He hasn't touched his food!
[screams] Squidward! Open up!
Squidward, have you seen Gary? He's gone missing!
Squidward?
Not a sign of Squidward anywhere.
Squidward?
You up here?
Hmm, Squidward's clarinet.
[slobbering noises]
It's not even warm. Squidward's missing too!
Patrick! Open up! Squidward and Gary are missing!
[pants]
Patrick's gone too. What if everybody's gone?
- [pounding on door] - Mr. Krabs?!
[gasp] He's gone too!
Sandy! She's gone.
Gone.
Gone!
[hyperventilating]
Where did everybody go?!
[echoes] Go?
Go?!
Everybody's gone.
But I swear that I will keep the memory of Bikini Bottom alive,
by living out their lives for them.
[inhales]
[SpongeBob laughs on recording]
SpongeBob, would you be quiet?
You're disrupting my genius.
[plays clarinet badly]
Mr. Krabs, sir, can I have a raise?
No! Now get to work!
Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs, sir!
Excuse me, sonny, may I have a Krabby Patty Deluxe, please?
Right away, sir!
I mean... whatever.
Hey, SpongeBob, we've got an order
for a Krabby Patty Deluxe.
Heaven knows why.
[giggles] Coming up, Squidward!
- [snores] - [alarm clock ringing]
Excuse me, Sandy,
but may I have some more of this delicious iced tea?
Why, sure!
Whoops, just a sec.
Why, sure enough, SpongeBob.
Good morning, class.
Can anyone tell me the first thing you do when riding a boat?
[clears throat] Floor it?
That's right, you floor it. Excellent work, SpongeBob!
Why thank you, Mrs. Pu... [sobs]
Pu... Puff! [cries]
This is pointless! I'm no Mrs. Puff!
I can't replace everyone!
I'll never be happy again. [sniffs]
Ooh, my driver's license!
That's the baby.
Hi, fella, it's me.
[engine revs]
It's OK, I'm licensed.
[sings to himself]
[engine rattles]
Oh, yeah, listen to that purr.
[sings to himself]
Goodnight, Boaty.
[mutters fitfully]
[yells]
No. No. No! No!
[pants]
Oh, Gary, I had a nightmare that all my friends were gone.
And I was driving a... [screams]
- [engine revs] - So, it was true.
I guess it's just you and me now, Boaty.
[upbeat music]
[laughs]
[smash]
This is where I work.
Want to help me cook up some Krabby Patties? Great!
Back when everyone was around, they used to really enjoy these.
- Here, try one. - [buzz saw noise]
What? You don't like Krabby Patties?
Huh! Well, I guess we can still make this work.
Whew. Boy, we learned a lot about each other today.
You know, I thought I'd go crazy without all my friends around,
but it looks like you were all I needed to stay sane!
[engine rumbles]
What? A puppet of my old best friend?
[rumbles]
Made entirely of Krabby Patty meat?
[rumbles]
[laughs] Oh, Boaty, you are a card.
Sorry I'm late, Patrick. Boaty was telling me a joke.
"You're awfully chummy with that guy
for someone who has it out for you."
Who? Boaty? [giggles] Oh, no, he's...
Really?
"I can't talk now. He's watching us."
Wait, Patrick! Don't go!
[engine rumbles]
Huh?
[stammers] Nothing, Boaty, I...
I'm just going to bed. [giggles]
Dear diary, not sure if I can trust any vehicle.
Run for it as soon as the coast is clear.
[tense music]
[screams]
Huh?
Sheesh, calm down, boy.
You're all still alive? Where did you go?
It was National No SpongeBob Day!
National No SpongeBob Day?
Yeah. A whole day dedicated to getting away from you.
A day? But you guys have been away for weeks.
Uh... [chuckles]
Yeah, well... we kind of milked it a little.
[gasps] You too, Patrick?
[scoffs] Yeah. Everybody needs at least one day away from...
[imitates SpongeBob's laugh]
[sniffs] Well, glad you had fun.
Aw, cheer up, boy. It's a whole day inspired by you.
Really?
Of course!
First, we build a giant wooden effigy of you,
then we burn it to the ground!
- [cheering] - Woo-hoo! Burn, baby!
And dance on the ashes like there was no tomorrow.
Wow! A whole day dedicated to me.
[giggles]
Big deal.
Wait till you see No Patrick Day.
Come on, everyone. Let's go!
[all cheer]
Where'd everybody go?
Hello?