[snores]
- Unacceptable! - Pearl!
My friends'll be here in 20 minutes for my party
and you're laying around, in your tighty-no-longer-whities.
A man works hard all week to keep his pants off all weekend.
If you trusted me, you would leave for the night!
[laughs]
You made cork rinds come out my nose!
- Dad! - Look.
I'll stay upstairs in my room and not interrupt.
- You promise? - I promise.
- Goodnight, Daddy. - Goodnight, sweetie!
Dad!
Oh, hi, Pumpkin!
I was setting out refreshments for you and your friends.
Crackers and tap water? You are the cheapest crab alive.
Now, don't say that. Here.
- Would your friends like pizza? - Well, yeah. Yeah, we would!
OK. You can have your allowance early.
- Ketchup? - See?
You put it on the crackers and mamma mia!
You got-a one-a spicy pizza pie!
Mmm. Mmm?
OK, OK. I'm going.
- [knocking] - Oh! Oh! [giggles] They're here!
Hi! [giggles]
- [knocking continues] - Dad!
- Just putting up house rules. - "No dancing."
"No loud music after 7.30."
"No touching the root beer cellar."
And the most important one of all...
No boys allowed!
- Isn't it glorious?! - [door shuts]
Sweetie?
You accidentally locked the door.
You're not coming back in this house
until after my slumber party is over.
[gasps] This is mutiny!
What are you going to do about it? Take away my allowance?
Here you go!
Open this door, or I'll...
You want to stay here? At my house?
With me?
What do you say, boy?
[squeals with delight] Slumber party!
Maybe I should just sleep under the highway.
We can stay up really, really late
and tell ghost stories and trade socks.
Is that what girls do at slumber parties?
No, they invite boys over and destroy the house.
- They what?! - You know how girls are.
Uh, SpongeBob, do you know anything about girls?
Ah! Do I know any... [laughs] No. But Gary does.
Meow.
We now return to tonight's scary movie,
"Slumber Party Zombie Attack."
- Pillow fight! - [giggling]
That tickles! Missed me.
[gasps] Look what they're doing to that man's house!
- Mr. Krabs, it's only a mo... - Quiet, boy.
Boys are here!
Hi, girls. I brought my destructive friends.
Nice to meet you.
Ha! Destroying other people's possessions is fun.
[screams] Turn it off! Turn it off! I can't take it!
I don't think this is the scary part yet.
[tires squeal]
I said, turn it off!
Gosh, Mr. Krabs. I never knew you were scared of zombies.
Not zombies, you barnacle brain.
[whispers] Teenagers.
Zombie teenagers?
No! Pearl and her no-good friends.
They're probably destroying my house right now.
Like this! "Oops!"
"I don't care. It's not mine."
"Look! One of the homeowner's most prized possessions."
- "La dee da." - Mr. Krabs...
"Ooh, this'll be fun to destroy! Whee!"
- Now do you get it, boy? - Oh, I do, Mr. Krabs.
It must be horrible to invite people into your home
and have them treat your property with little respect.
That's what teenagers do!
Do you want this to happen to my house?
Gosh, no, Mr. Krabs!
Get into Pearl's party and find out what they're doing.
Leave it to me, Mr. K. I've got the perfect disguise.
[giggling, chattering]
- [knocking] - Hello?
Hi. I'm here for the slumber party!
Do I know you?
My name is, um, Girly Teengirl.
Uh-huh.
And I just moved here from, um, Far Away Ville.
I know it's you, SpongeBob SquarePants.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Aah!
You were sent to spy on me by my dad.
Get him, girls!
Aah!
[weeps]
I'm so moving back to Far Away Ville.
Who the heck is that?
I don't know, but she is uh-glee!
Now to put on that disguise I told you about. Ta-da!
Huh? Huh? Huh?
You are one-of-a-kind, boy.
[knocking]
- Pizza delivery. - We didn't order pizza.
You didn't?
[whispers] Tell 'em it's from me.
Your dad sent it. It's already paid for.
I'd sooner believe space aliens sent me a free pizza
before I'd believe my dad would.
Now, who are you?
Um... Hey!
[gasps] SpongeBob!
They're on to us, Mr. Krabs!
- Drive! - Right, boy.
[tires screech]
I wanted to come with you, Mr. Krabs.
- Get him! - Whoa!
Oh, big surprise.
Dad was too cheap to buy real pizza.
What's taking SpongeBob so long?
I'm getting tired of looking through his stuff.
- [knocking] - Hello? Pizza!
I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I failed you.
- I know, son. - Uh, Mr. Krabs, that's my eye.
And it's ice cold too.
You should've been back here in 30 minutes or less.
[chomps]
- [knocking] - Who is it?
Piano repair man.
- [quiet muttering] - OK, we'll be right out.
Mr. Krabs, it's working.
Have it back by tomorrow, OK?
Maybe we should leave them alone, Mr. Krabs.
They seem pretty trustworthy.
You get into that party or you're fired.
Yes, Mr. Krabs.
Whoever could it be this time?
It's me, SpongeBob SquarePants.
Can we talk, Pearl? Whale to Sponge?
Hold the boiling oil.
[grumbling]
What do you want, SpongeBob?
Oh, please let me stay at your party!
Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, please, please, please!
- Please! - No.
Give me one reason why I can't stay.
I can give you a hundred million billion reasons.
I only asked for one.
Reason number one. You're just like my dad.
Really?
A no-good, dried-up, old fuddy-duddy.
So, if I prove I'm fun, can I stay?!
Sure, SpongeBob.
If you can prove you're the most fun person
on the planet in the next ten seconds,
you can stay.
I only need eight.
Whoo! Party! Crank it up!
Five seconds.
These old newspapers are confetti in fun hands. Whoo!
I'm allergic to newsprint. Ooh! Ow!
Two seconds.
[laughs]
- Aah! - [thud]
OK, OK. I got to admit, that was kind of fun.
- I think he's hurt. - He's not hurt.
[moans]
- See? - Maybe he's a zombie.
If he comes back as a zombie and eats my brain,
I'm totally not going to be your friend any more.
Ooh. Mr. Krabs's root beer cellar.
Fun.
We now return to "Slumber Party Zombie Attack."
- Aah! A zombie! - [groans]
This movie isn't all that scary.
Yeah, that zombie looks totally fake!
[creaking]
[garbles]
[all] Aah! Zombie!
Fun!
Aah!
Zombie juice!
Aah! Run!
Aah!
[garbling]
[garbles] Who wants to dance?
No! I already have a zombie boyfriend.
Let's boogie. Whoo!
[screaming]
What in Neptune's toupee is going on here?
[gasps, screams]
Me knick-knacks! [screams] Me root beer!
Me pile of old newspapers! [sobs]
I was maybe going to read them some day.
I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
Trusted me?! Your employee destroyed this house.
- The only boy at the party. - SpongeBob?!
Well, Mr. Krabs, you know how boys are.
[chuckles] Ow!
It's your fault my party is ruined!
And now my friends have Zombie Shock Syndrome!
I'm too pretty to be a zombie!
We were fine with a nice, simple slumber party,
but now it's going to cost you.
Cost me what?
- [hisses] Money! - NO!
- Everyone having a good time? - [crowd] Yeah!
Well, you can all thank my dad for making this possible.
Thank you, Daddy!
[all thank Mr. Krabs]
You're welcome, sweetie!
Oh, this is so expensive.
You're not allowed any closer, sir.
Mr. Krabs, I think I know what will cheer you up.
[grunts]
A mug of ice-cold root beer!
No, SpongeBob, that doesn't cheer me up at all.
[foghorn blasts]
Bikini Bottom Pet Show today!
Good thing I put those notes there. I could've forgotten.
And I wouldn't wanna do that!
Cos the Bikini Bottom Pet Show is where you gotta go
to see the best pets in town!
Not that any other pets stand a chance against my buddy, Gary.
He's the bestest pet in the whole world!
Love you, Gare-Bear.
Uh-oh. The show starts in an hour!
Hey Gar, time to... Gary? Whoa!
Gary! Gary? Gary? Gary?
Looks like another beautiful day here in Bikini Bottom.
Gary?!
Gary? Oh, hiya, Squidward.
Whoa!
Gary!
Gary? Gary?
Gary, there you are!
What are you doing here when today is the day
we get to show everyone else you're the best pet
in the whole world!
Now for a quick checklist. Let's see.
Eyestalk reflexes. Check!
Slime viscosity.
Hi, Squidward!
Ready?
- Hi, again, Squidward! - Yello.
Check. And last but not least, a quick undercarriage check.
[hisses]
Oh, OK. Maybe we better skip that one.
Let's see. Yep, that about does it.
Good thinking, buddy. I'll carry your shell!
[barking, meowing]
Stand up straight. Posture is everything in appearance.
Roll over.
Your newly trimmed hairstyles highlight your regality.
Huh. People sure seem to treat their pets differently here.
That's a good boy, Foo-fee.
Look at your luxurious mane.
Every self-respecting snail has one.
Luxurious mane?
Reow.
Ah, yes. How could I forget?
Accessories!
Your diamond-studded leash.
I always use an old rope.
I guess that's not good enough.
There's the cherry on the beauty cake,
the glossy painted shell.
And last but not least, well-maintained oral hygiene.
Just look at your pearly whites.
- Uh, Gary? - Meow.
We'd best run along, Foofs.
Your pedicure is in half an hour.
Pedicure? Ooh. I didn't realize how much went into this.
- Meow. - Don't be so protective of me.
I know I've been a horrible parent, but no longer!
From this moment on forth
I vow to give my Gary the utmost in empty frivolity!
To live by the standards of snail grooming
set forth by that guy!
- What's up? - No, not you!
OK.
Enough dilly-dallying. We gotta get down to business!
- Meow. - Hold still, Gary.
- [hisses] - Come on, buddy!
Ah! There!
Oh, you're like a little cuddly present.
[laughs]
[sighs]
And the piece de resistance...
...glow-in-the-dark paint.
Hey, where you going?
Gary, wait! We gotta go back to the pet show!
- Meow. - Because!
We have got to show those other pets
that we're just as fancy as they are!
Oh, come on, Gary. Don't be this way.
I'm doing it for YOU, not me.
Meow.
That's what I like to hear.
Because now I can bring this out!
Your very own studded collar, with two rows of diamonds.
Here, try it on. Now let's get back out there
and knock 'em out of their shells!
- Meow. - Hey, SpongeBob, what you doing?
Patrick! I'm so glad you happened to show up.
Help me... [unintelligible whispering]
- [hisses] - Gary, stop it!
I'm only doing this cos I love you..
Gary, look! It's him!
Come now, Foof, keep your tail up, up, up.
Hellooooo!
Sorry to bother you. I want your opinion on my snail.
[chuckles]
My boy, you don't seem to get it, do you?
There's only one way to prove your pet's beauty,
by winning in the pet contest! But I wouldn't bother.
Seeing as how Foo-Fee and I have won for the past five years.
[chuckles] Oh, well, enough mingling with the common folk.
Let's go win our medal, Foof.
This is it, Gary. This is our time to shine!
Wow, Patrick.
There's a whole lot of pet loving going on here today.
Yeah, you and Gary don't have a chance.
Excuse me, sir,
but all non-pet owners must remain behind this rope.
Now what am I gonna do?! I'm all alone behind this rope!
- I'm right here. - You don't understand!
You'll never understand
what it's like to be alone behind the rope!
- [wails] - Don't worry, Gary.
He'll be back in time to see us win first place.
Now, let's go scope out the competition.
There it is, Mrs. Squiggles. Your new hairdo.
There you go, Muffsies. Aw, isn't that cute?
[growls]
Poor Muffsies.
Those shades slipped right off your little eyes.
Luckily I brought an extra, smaller pair.
Huh. Maybe you need some shades, huh, Gare?
[growls]
Silly boy, you're not supposed to eat the leash.
Come on, buddy.
- Now, let's try this cape. - [sighs]
Boy, these pets are gussied up today.
Maybe you need a top hat or something to class it up a bit.
Gary? Oh, thanks for reminding me.
I didn't know your collar was loose.
Now, let's go get that top hat, buddy.
There you go.
[defeated meow]
All right, let's see. Uh-huh.
Decent stalk length.
Good hinge action.
Ah, Foofie.
Excellent brow stretch.
Well-defined eyelid capillaries.
Foofie is looking as good as ever, Charles.
Why, thank you, sir.
OK, let's have a look-see, shall we?
Ah, yes, good spacing on the larynx.
Nice gastric chamber.
- All within breed description. - It's in the bag.
Now, if we could just check the undercarriage.
[screams]
[all gasp]
Gary, no!
Gary! You spit him out right now!
I'm sorry, he usually only bites me.
[meows, garbles]
[garbles]
[all garble]
[garbles angrily]
[wails]
[all wail]
Muffsies... You look angry?
What's going on?!
[all growl]
What a hideous display.
At least I know you'd never behave like all these heathens.
Right, Foofie? Foofie?
- [growls] - Foofie?
[fearful muttering]
[garbles]
No, Muffsies! No!
[screams]
Wait... Wait...
[screams]
[squeals]
[screams]
[angry yelling, grunting]
Foofie, what have you done?
What's this about? Does anyone speak snail?
I speak a little bit, sir! I know what they are saying!
They are saying, "Owners, owners, owners, owners, owners,
please, please, please, please, please, don't be this way."
They are saying they don't want this type of pampering.
They want to be treated as companions, not dress-up dolls.
They don't want scratchy outfits.
They want to be scratched.
They are protesting the indignity of wigs
and jewel-encrusted collars!
They want to be free from superficial
and degrading pageants like these!
[pets growl]
You were trying to tell me that all along, weren't you?
[meows]
Well, I won't let it happen again.
Well, I think we can all agree
that this year's Groomer's Cup goes to...
SpongeBob and his wonderful pet!
[applause]
Did you hear that, Gary?
They're rewarding you for standing up
and speaking out against injustice!
Maybe these pageants aren't so superficial after all.
What are you talking about? The snail didn't win.
I was referring to your other pet.
He's SO adorable!
[woofs, pants]