It's…
With celebrity guests,
basketball mascot the 3 Point Fowl,
the Guy on the Penny, Her Majesty the Queen,
musical guest P!nk,
Sir Quentin and his little wooden sidekick, Mr. Tinder,
and guest of honor, SpongeBob SquarePants.
From Encino, California,
the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club
and your host, Patchy the Pirate.
* Ten years of Sponge *
You're looking at the wrong camera.
What? Potty? Where are you?
- Cue camera three. - I can't hear you!
- Cue talent! - Cue? What does that mean?
What are you pointing at me for?
Do you have a headache?
Anyhoo, can you believe it, kids?
It's been ten years
since I started the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club.
And he's here in person.
I'm finally gonna meet me idol. Heh-heh.
Let's bring him out, now.
Nobody cares! Without further ado,
please welcome SpongeBob SquarePants.
Without further ado…
Please welcome, SpongeBob SquarePants!
What?!
What do you mean, he's not coming?
Ten years I been presidenting his fan club.
He never answered any of my letters.
Never showed up to any of my charity lunches.
Now I throw him a television extravaganza,
and he can't even be bothered to show up?
Well, we'll just see about that.
If you want a piece of me, well, you're gonna get one.
Think you can spurn my advances, eh?
I've been a fan since the beginning, just… Oh!
Good morning, Gary.
A little overboard?
And take a chance of being late
for the single greatest day of my career,
the eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab?
Oh-ho-ho. I think not!
No Krusty Krab employee would be late on this day.
What the…
See you at the big event, Squidward.
Ow.
Can you believe it's been eleventy-seven years already?
Oh, watch the potty mouth, Gare.
Today is a day for gentle reflection.
I remember my first visit to the Krusty Krab.
I don't know.
This doesn't look like a family restaurant.
Oh, well, what do you think, baby?
Would you like to eat here?
Well, OK, then.
What would you like?
Kwabby Patty.
Mm, yummy.
Good times.
Oh, sorry, Gary. We can reminisce later.
I gotta get ready!
* I never thought that I would Have a chance like this *
* What dreams exist As big as this one? *
* If happiness are patties Frying on the grill *
* I'll have my fill Upon each fresh bun *
* Here's a day That couldn't get much better *
* It is the greatest That's ever been *
* It's so cool I ought to wear a sweater *
* Just to hold on To that warm feeling *
* A miracle is something That you don't believe *
* You will receive And then it happens *
* This is what I have To call a miracle *
* My heart is full And toes are tapping *
* Here's a day That couldn't get much better *
* It is the greatest That's ever been *
* It's so cool I ought to wear a sweater *
* Just to hold on To that warm feeling *
* Sure, I know it's gonna Take a lot of work *
* But here's the perk I think I must say *
* When you're doing something That you really love *
* And so proud of Then work is like play *
* Here's a day That couldn't get much better *
* It is the greatest That's ever been *
* It's so cool I ought to wear a sweater *
* Just to hold on To that warm feeling *
Hey, hey, chill out, buddy.
We all want to get into the Krusty Krab
as much as you do.
But I don't have time to wait in line.
Sorry, but I can't be late today.
- Ooh. - Ow.
- Ooh. - What the…
- Hey! - Ow.
Sorry, everyone, but Mr. Krabs needs me.
- Reporting for duty, sir. - Sit down, boy.
Happy eleventy-seventh, Squidward.
Today's a big day for the Krusty Krab,
so I want yous to listen up.
It's a perfect opportunity
for Plankton to try and steal the Krabby Patty formula.
Isn't that just the Krusty Krab?
No, it's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab.
I want you two to watch all the entrances.
You mean the front door and the back door?
Those are just the ones on the surface.
There's an entire network of tunnels and ducts underground,
and I want all eyes on the lookout.
Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.
Right. Study this map. Stay extra vigilant.
Don't fall asleep. That means you, Squidward.
What? I have never fallen asleep on duty.
Don't make me have a flashback.
All right, point taken.
And to help watch out for Plankton,
I've hired some extra security.
You hired Patrick?
What? You expect me to spend money on a real guard?
You're my first line of defense, Patrick,
so look out for any suspiciorous characters.
Yes, sir.
Who are you? And who are you working for?
Plankton doesn't stand a chance.
It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe,
and a thousand and three times
I've been launched by that Krabs.
He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success,
and I'm left with four score and 40 fortnights of failure.
I give up, Karen. Krabs has won.
Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude.
Maybe 1,004 will be your lucky number.
Oh, yeah? You try getting launched.
Oh, right, the launchings.
I've got them all on my hard drive.
Fore!
I'm tired today, Plankton.
You're just gonna have to launch yourself.
Splat.
Karen!
I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh.
It's just no use.
Today is the perfect day to steal the recipe.
Krabs will be completely distracted
by all the festivities. You can do this.
You really think so?
Of course I do. Now, who's my big man?
- Oh, Karen. - Come on.
Come on, who's my big strong man?
I am.
That's right. Now, get out there and steal that recipe.
Yes, ma'am.
I can't believe I gave up my Hawaiian vacation for this.
I really love your music.
Remind me to make my agent walk the plank.
How are we supposed to eat these?
Can I get you anything?
A pineapple slicer, please?
A passage on the next steamer out of here?
Just five more minutes.
Well, there's no use sitting around like a bunch of barnacles
on the bottom of a dry-docked dinghy.
- Let's do some practicing! - Arr!
One, two, three, four.
* Our gums are black Our teeth are falling out *
* We got spots on our backs So give it up and shout *
* We got scurvy We need some vitamin C *
* We got scurvy We need a lemon tree *
* We got scurvy We just chilling on the sea *
* Let's get this Scurvy started *
* A pirate ain't worthy *
* Till he got some scurvy *
* Since you got Your scurvy on *
* You unnerve me When you sing that song *
♪ Scurvy *
- d We got scurvy d - d Scurvy *
We want Krabby Patties!
Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu.
Krabby Patty, 20 bucks.
39 bucks, 30.
Oh, number zero, how I love you so.
- SpongeBob! - Yes, sir.
I'm putting you in charge of decorations.
Oh, but, Mr. Krabs…
Yes, boy?
I thought you said I would be in charge of decorations.
What? But you are.
I am? Yay!
Yeah! Yeah!
Squidward, uh…
I had chores for you, but you won't do 'em anyway.
It took you eleventy-seven years to figure that out?
Here's your budget, boy. Decorate it any way you want.
Wow, 50 cents.
You're letting SpongeBob decorate?
Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated?
Yee-haw!
Do you come here often?
- Well, you want to do it, then? - No.
Then shut your porthole.
Battening down the word hatches, sir.
What… what are you…
There we go.
Your change, sir.
Good work, boy. What, that's it?
Decorations? Check. Security?
Check.
We want Krabby Patties!
OK, open your ears.
These people have come from miles around
because they love my patties.
I want every employee on their best behavior.
Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob?
Every word, Squidward, every word.
So, let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties.
Yes! Yeah!
Ooh, I almost forgot. Mr. Krabs, wait.
There's one last decoration.
I present to you…
My ode to the Krabby Patty, made entirely out of ice.
Jeez, boy.
- This thing's enormous. - And cold.
Let's get this out, my customers are waiting.
Ready. Set.
Guys, I'm OK. No need to scream.
The door!
Oh, no. Patrick, stand up. We're locked in.
This is gonna spoil the eleventy-seventh anniversary!
We want Krabby Patties!
Somebody! Anybody! I don't care who.
- How do we get out? - Everybody calm down.
I've spent a lifetime working in this restaurant,
and I know there's only one way outta here.
- A high school diploma? - No.
The air duct.
This way, boys.
All we got to do is head through this duct.
Which one? There must be 20 ways to go.
Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized.
Uh, hmm, uh…
Hurry up, guys. This kind of hurts.
Well, according to the map, we just go straight,
take a right between these three moldy tree stumps,
then head towards that kidney bean-shaped puddle of gravy.
That's not the map, you old barnacle.
Those are three moles and a birthmark.
Oh. All right, then let's try this one.
It's this way.
Here it is!
Oh…
Eh? What's this?
It's an old Krabby Patty wrapper.
Aw, that takes me back to the good old days.
Now, a word from our sponsor.
* K-R-A-B-B-Y *
* P-A-T-T-Y *
* Bah-bom-bom-bom-bom *
* Krabby Patty Give 'em a try *
* Come on down And buy, buy, buy *
* Not just one Or two or three *
* But enough for The whole family *
Yes, folks, nine out of ten doctors recommend
eating at least one Krabby Patty a day
to maintain a healthy lifestyle
and a youthful, positive attitude.
I'm a doctor, as far as you know,
and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life.
So what are you waiting for? Get yourself a Krabby Patty.
Or buy a sackful of Krabbies.
Or better yet,
go out and get yourself a case of the Krabbies!
For your health.
* K-R-A-B-B-Y *
* P-A-T-T-Y *
* Krabby Patty *
Back then, a Krabby Patty only cost a dime.
It was a dark and evil time.
I still have nightmares.
We'll never get out of here!
Don't worry, Squidward. We'll find our way out.
And then, we'll have
the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever.
All we have to do is stick together.
Stop breathing on my neck.
Hey, I think I see the exit.
Ah, barnacles! It's just the surveillance room.
Oh… my house is on TV.
All of our houses are on TV.
Gary the snail, you get down from that bed this instant.
Hey, there's my house.
- You left your TV on. - Well, duh.
- I don't want to miss my shows. - Look, it's Sandy.
Ah.
Mr. Krabs, why do you have cameras watching us?
Oh, well, uh… eh…
I just want to make sure you all floss after every meal.
Thank you, Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very, very important.
- Hey, who are those guys? - I think it's us, Patrick.
But who are they?
We want Krabby Patties!
My customers are getting antsy.
Oof. Ow.
We're getting warm. I can feel it.
That might just be my hand, Mr. Krabs.
Hmm, a crossroads.
I'll go this way, and SpongeBob, you lead them down that way.
Lead them?
I can finally use my leader hat and my lederhosen.
- Nice. - Those are garters, you idiot.
Follow me.
This is not happening. It's just not happening.
Guys, it's a dead end.
* Beautiful dreamer *
* Out on the sea *
* Mermaids are chanting *
* The wild Lorelei *
* Over the streamlet *
* Vapors are borne *
* Waiting to fade At the bright coming morn *
* Beautiful dreamer *
* Beam on my heart *
* E'en as the morn *
* On the streamlet and sea *
* Then will all clouds of sorrow depart *
* Beautiful dreamer *
* Awake unto me *
* La-da-di, la-da-dum *
* La-da-di, la-da-di *
Tempo! Tempo!