1
00:00:03,625 --> 00:00:04,667
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
2
00:00:04,792 --> 00:00:06,542
all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
3
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:08,000
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
4
00:00:08,125 --> 00:00:09,875
all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
5
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,125
♪ OHH... ♪
6
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:15,125
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
7
00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:17,333
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
8
00:00:17,458 --> 00:00:19,166
- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
9
00:00:19,291 --> 00:00:21,250
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
10
00:00:21,375 --> 00:00:23,208
- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
11
00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:25,041
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
12
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:27,208
- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
13
00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:29,083
- all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- READY?
14
00:00:29,208 --> 00:00:31,083
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
15
00:00:31,208 --> 00:00:33,000
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
16
00:00:33,125 --> 00:00:34,959
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
17
00:00:35,083 --> 00:00:36,375
SPONGEBOB
18
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:38,375
SQUAREPANTS!
19
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:41,000
[laughing]
20
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,333
♪ ♪
21
00:00:43,458 --> 00:00:44,667
[waves crashing]
22
00:00:47,625 --> 00:00:50,291
[jaunty ukulele music]
23
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:56,667
♪ ♪
24
00:00:56,792 --> 00:00:59,667
[snoring]
25
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,458
[snoring]
26
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:09,834
- ALL OF THE MOST
INTELLIGENT PROGRAMMING
27
00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,959
STARTS BEFORE 5:00 A.M.
28
00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:17,959
NO, NO, NO.
29
00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:19,083
TAKE YOUR TIME.
30
00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:20,333
IT'S WORTH THE WAIT.
31
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,083
[clapping]
32
00:01:26,583 --> 00:01:29,709
- YOUR SOURCE
FOR THE LATEST IN EXOTIC PETS,
33
00:01:29,834 --> 00:01:32,417
COLLECTIBLE
JEWEL-ENCRUSTED MITTENS...
34
00:01:32,542 --> 00:01:34,083
[doorbell rings]
35
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,375
AND CLASSICAL DOORBELL CHIMES...
36
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:39,542
HOW SOPHISTICATED.
37
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,083
HAS BEEN CANCELLED.
38
00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:44,959
OH, YEAH.
39
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:46,542
I HAVEN'T MADE THE COFFEE YET.
40
00:01:46,667 --> 00:01:49,875
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY
CANCEL FAB AND FANCY?
41
00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:52,333
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE
MORE ENRICHING?
42
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:53,709
[slurping]
43
00:01:53,834 --> 00:01:55,208
[jarring heavy metal music]
44
00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:56,250
GAH!
45
00:01:56,375 --> 00:02:05,792
♪ ♪
46
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,750
[explosion]
47
00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:15,166
- HEY, I'M ZEUS,
THE GUITAR LORD.
48
00:02:15,291 --> 00:02:17,333
I DON'T HAVE A GUITAR YET,
49
00:02:17,458 --> 00:02:20,709
BUT IF I DID, I WOULD WANT
A REALLY KILLER ONE,
50
00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:23,583
LIKE THIS.
51
00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:25,291
[scoffs]
52
00:02:25,417 --> 00:02:27,834
HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T KNOW
THE FIRST THING ABOUT MUSIC.
53
00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:29,834
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
54
00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:32,667
- SO HERE'S MY NUMBER
IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT--
55
00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:35,083
[phone rings]
56
00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:36,083
HELLO?
57
00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:37,834
WHERE IS MY FAB AND FANCY?
58
00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:39,583
YOUR WHAT?
59
00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:42,083
- I'M QUITE CERTAIN
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW CULTURE
60
00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:43,959
IF IT BIT YOU ON THE GUITAR.
61
00:02:44,083 --> 00:02:47,417
UM, I DON'T HAVE A GUITAR.
62
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,083
- DO THEY GIVE A SHOW
TO JUST ANYBODY OVER THERE?
63
00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:51,291
PRETTY MUCH.
64
00:02:51,417 --> 00:02:53,333
MY MOM GAVE ME THIS ONE
FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
65
00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:54,458
REALLY?
66
00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:56,083
YEAH.
67
00:02:56,166 --> 00:02:57,834
I WANTED A GUITAR
OR A STAR NAMED AFTER ME,
68
00:02:57,959 --> 00:02:59,667
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
69
00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:01,583
I GUESS A TV SHOW IS COOL.
70
00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:03,750
IT'S THAT EASY?
71
00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,917
[touch-tones beeping]
72
00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:07,959
HELLO, BIKINI BOTTOM
PUBLIC ACCESS?
73
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,125
GIVE ME A TV SHOW!
74
00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:12,083
I WANT A SHOW!
75
00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:15,083
COME ON, JUST A FEW MORE
MINUTES, SQUIDDIE,
76
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:18,709
AND IT'LL BE YOUR TURN
TO BASK IN THE LIMELIGHT.
77
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:20,083
[laughs]
78
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,208
OH, YEAH.
79
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,959
OH, LIMELIGHT BASKIN'.
80
00:03:25,083 --> 00:03:26,458
BASKIN' IN THE LIMELIGHT.
81
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:28,917
[laughs]
82
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,667
OH, GOOD TIMES.
83
00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:33,458
GOOD TIMES.
84
00:03:33,583 --> 00:03:36,375
SO WHERE WILL SAID BASKING
TAKE PLACE?
85
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:38,834
- LIKE I WOULD TELL YOU.
HMPH.
86
00:03:38,959 --> 00:03:41,500
[thinking] ALTHOUGH
I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE
87
00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:44,834
TO HAVE ENOUGH GLORY
TO RUB IT IN SOMEONE'S FACE,
88
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,083
ANYONE'S FACE...
89
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,125
EVEN THAT FACE.
90
00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:53,583
OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU,
91
00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:54,917
BUT THE LAST THING
I WOULD WANT
92
00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:57,083
IS FOR YOU TO SHOW UP,
SO PLUG YOUR EARS.
93
00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:58,834
splat!
94
00:03:58,959 --> 00:04:01,375
WELL, I DON'T WANT TO TOOT
MY OWN WHISTLE, BUT--
95
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,875
WAIT, NO!
96
00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:06,166
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I MEAN TO DO.
97
00:04:06,291 --> 00:04:09,083
[muffled mumbling]
98
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,583
[bell rings]
99
00:04:12,709 --> 00:04:14,375
OH!
100
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,625
SAY AGAIN, SQUIDWARD.
101
00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:18,083
[laughing]
102
00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:26,291
- WITH YOUR HOST,
SQUIDWARD TENTACLES.
103
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:27,333
GREETINGS.
104
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:29,083
I'M SQUIDWARD TENTACLES,
105
00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:31,083
YOUR HOST OF SQUIDWARD CHAT.
106
00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:36,625
TODAY ON SQUIDWARD CHAT,
107
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:39,959
WE'LL BE DISCUSSING SOMETHING
NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART:
108
00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:43,083
UNDERAPPRECIATED ARTISTS
LIKE MYSELF.
109
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:45,375
SQUIDWARD'S ON TV?
110
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:48,333
AAH!
111
00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:49,583
SQUIDWARD!
112
00:04:49,709 --> 00:04:50,667
SQUIDWARD!
113
00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,709
[panting]
114
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:55,750
[knocking]
115
00:04:57,500 --> 00:05:00,959
SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE ON TV.
116
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,375
NO, REALLY, SQUIDWARD,
COME LOOK.
117
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,333
I KNOW I'M ON TV.
118
00:05:03,458 --> 00:05:05,542
SEE THE CAMERA?
119
00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:08,250
YOU'RE ON TV TOO.
120
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,333
TV?
121
00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:12,625
[laughing]
122
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:14,125
MORON.
123
00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:17,291
AS I WAS SAYING,
TODAY ON SQUIDWARD CHAT,
124
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:18,250
WE'LL BE DISCUSSING--
125
00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:19,834
WOW!
126
00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:21,917
- SO I RAN TO TELL SQUIDWARD
THAT HE WAS ON TV,
127
00:05:22,083 --> 00:05:23,667
AND HE TOLD ME
THAT I WAS ON TV.
128
00:05:23,792 --> 00:05:25,083
NOW YOU'RE ON TV.
129
00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:26,583
I'M ON TV?
130
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,083
THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.
131
00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:38,083
I'M NOT ON TV.
132
00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:43,083
SPONGEBOB, I WENT HOME
AND TURNED ON MY TV,
133
00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:45,792
BUT I WASN'T ON THE TV.
134
00:05:45,917 --> 00:05:47,542
WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME,
SPONGEBOB?
135
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,125
WHY?
136
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,125
- PATRICK,
JUST HOW DUMB ARE YOU?
137
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,375
IT VARIES.
138
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,542
IF YOU WANT TO BE ON TV,
139
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:57,333
YOU HAVE TO BE
IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA.
140
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,083
OH.
141
00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:01,333
I GET IT.
142
00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:03,250
[giggling]
143
00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:04,834
HI, TV PEOPLE!
144
00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:07,500
AH!
145
00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:09,792
MY MOUTH IS ON TV!
146
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:12,917
THIS IS DISGUSTING.
147
00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:15,917
[slurping and chewing]
148
00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:19,125
SPONGEBOB!
149
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:22,709
YOU GOT TO TRY THIS!
150
00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:25,583
[both laughing]
151
00:06:25,709 --> 00:06:28,083
PATRICK, SPONGEBOB,
152
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,959
GET OFF MY CAMERA.
153
00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:34,375
[groans]
154
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:35,917
WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE?
155
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,333
DOUBT IT.
156
00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:38,792
[sighs]
157
00:06:38,917 --> 00:06:40,667
IF YOU LIKE THE CAMERA
SO MUCH,
158
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,667
WHY DON'T YOU
BE THE CAMERAMAN?
159
00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:45,125
CAMERAMAN?
160
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:47,917
- THAT MEANS YOU TAKE
ALL THE PRETTY PICTURES.
161
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:48,875
ALL RIGHT!
162
00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:50,166
WHOO! WHOO!
163
00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:51,917
OOH, LET ME DO SOMETHING TOO,
PLEASE?
164
00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:54,375
- FINE, YOU CAN BE
THE SOUND MAN.
165
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:55,542
SOUND MAN.
166
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:57,792
IMBECILES.
167
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,625
TODAY WE'RE GOING TO BE
TALKING ABOUT--
168
00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:03,583
WHY ISN'T THE CAMERA ON ME?
169
00:07:03,709 --> 00:07:07,333
NO, I'M THE ONE TALKING!
170
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:08,750
[grumbling]
171
00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:09,917
I'M RIGHT HERE.
172
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:11,166
AHEM!
173
00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:13,250
TODAY ON SQUIDWARD CHAT,
174
00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:16,500
WE'LL BE DISCUSSING
THE UNDERAPPRECIATED ARTS.
175
00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:18,834
PATRICK, I'M DOWN HERE.
176
00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:22,417
AS I WAS SAYING,
TODAY WE'LL BE--
177
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,417
TODAY--
178
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:28,458
[grumbling]
179
00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:30,375
- UPSY-DAISY!
180
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,667
DOWNSY-WOWNSY!
181
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:33,417
UPSY-DAISY!
182
00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:34,834
DOWNSY-WOWNSY!
183
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:39,083
[growling]
184
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,083
[grunting and scuffling]
185
00:07:43,625 --> 00:07:45,667
NOW, THEN.
186
00:07:45,792 --> 00:07:48,792
I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU
ABOUT MY FABULOUS--
187
00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:50,208
[grunts]
188
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,667
[choking]
189
00:07:52,792 --> 00:07:54,083
OH.
190
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:57,667
SPONGE--OW!
191
00:07:57,792 --> 00:08:01,250
IT'S HEAVY.
192
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:02,417
THANKS,
193
00:08:02,542 --> 00:08:03,542
BUT IT ITCHES.
194
00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:04,959
I GOT TO GO POTTY!
195
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,083
SQUIDWARD HAS HIS OWN TV SHOW?
196
00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:09,250
- WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE
TO HOLD IT, PATRICK.
197
00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:12,083
NOW, IF THERE ARE
NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS--
198
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,125
EAT AT THE KRUSTY KRAB,
199
00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:16,291
HOME OF THE ORIGINAL
KRABBY PATTY,
200
00:08:16,417 --> 00:08:19,083
AND REMEMBER,
WE CHANGE OUR GREASE MONTHLY.
201
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,250
OUT!
202
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,834
[groans]
203
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,333
[sighs]
204
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:24,458
♪ KRUSTY KRAB ♪
205
00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:25,625
♪ KRUSTY KRAB ♪
206
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:27,542
♪ WE DON'T JUST WANT YOU ♪
207
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,709
♪ WE WANT YOUR MONEY TOO ♪
208
00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:31,125
WHEE, DOGGY!
209
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:33,458
I CAN LINE DANCE
BETTER THAN THAT.
210
00:08:33,583 --> 00:08:36,500
YEE-HAW!
211
00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:39,917
- DADDY, I'M BORROWING
YOUR WALLET!
212
00:08:40,083 --> 00:08:41,208
LINE DANCING?
213
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,458
EW.
214
00:08:42,583 --> 00:08:44,500
THAT IS SO LAME.
215
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:48,083
WHAT THEY NEED
IS MY WAY COOL CHEER ROUTINE.
216
00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:52,417
GIVE ME A "K"!
217
00:08:52,542 --> 00:08:54,291
OH, PLEASE.
218
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:57,417
I CAN CAUSE FAR MORE
COLLATERAL DAMAGE THAN THAT.
219
00:08:57,542 --> 00:08:59,792
KAREN, WHERE'D YOU PUT
MY DEATH RAY?
220
00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:01,917
GO, TEAM! GO!
221
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,583
GO, TEAM! GO!
222
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,500
[laughs menacingly]
223
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,291
GO, TEAM! GO!
224
00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:07,667
[zapping]
225
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:08,709
[explosion]
226
00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:09,709
[laughing]
227
00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:11,083
MY SHORTS ARE WET!
228
00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:12,709
FIGHT, TEAM! FIGHT!
229
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:14,583
FIGHT, TEAM! FIGHT!
230
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:16,375
FIGHT, TEAM! FIGHT!
231
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,750
[zap]
232
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:19,792
- EAT AT THE CHUM BUCKET
OR PERISH!
233
00:09:19,917 --> 00:09:21,875
[laughs]
234
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,792
- ♪ KRUSTY KRAB,
THE KRUSTY KRAB ♪
235
00:09:23,917 --> 00:09:25,250
♪ EAT AT THE KRUSTY KRAB ♪
236
00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:26,834
NO!
237
00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:28,125
MY SHOW!
238
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:31,083
[sniffling and sobbing]
239
00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:35,291
YOU SEEM TENSE.
240
00:09:35,417 --> 00:09:36,375
[groans]
241
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:37,333
CUT THAT OUT.
242
00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:38,417
THAT'S IT!
243
00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:40,792
EVERYONE OUT!
244
00:09:40,917 --> 00:09:42,291
WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, HUH,
245
00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:43,750
SOME KIND OF HOUSEWARMING?
246
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,250
DID SOMEBODY SAY HOUSEWARMING?
247
00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:48,959
HEY, EVERYONE,
IT'S A HOUSEWARMING!
248
00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:51,959
[crowd clamoring]
249
00:09:55,583 --> 00:09:58,458
[brakes squeak]
250
00:09:58,583 --> 00:10:00,583
GET OFF MY SET!
251
00:10:00,709 --> 00:10:04,208
THIS IS NOT WORKING!
252
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:09,458
- ACTUALLY, I'D SAY
THE SHOW IS DOING JUST FINE,
253
00:10:09,583 --> 00:10:12,709
AT LEAST ACCORDING
TO OUR LATEST RATINGS.
254
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,458
[laughs]
255
00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,000
[coughs]
256
00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,542
[clears throat]
257
00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:20,834
THIS IS ACTUALLY A LOT
BY PUBLIC ACCESS STANDARDS.
258
00:10:20,959 --> 00:10:25,375
EVERYONE IS WORKING OUT,
EXCEPT FOR YOU,
259
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,750
YOU,
260
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:28,041
YOU,
261
00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:29,041
AND YOU.
262
00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:30,000
ME?
263
00:10:33,709 --> 00:10:37,166
- AND NOW BIKINI BOTTOM'S
TOP PUBLIC ACCESS SHOW
264
00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:38,792
FOR THE LAST 20 WEEKS,
265
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:41,458
SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE PARTY,
266
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:43,583
WITH YOUR HOST,
267
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:47,750
ZEUS, THE GUITAR LORD.
268
00:10:47,875 --> 00:10:50,291
- HEY, HEY, HEY,
BIKINI BOTTOM.
269
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:53,333
ARE YOU READY TO PARTY
SQUIDWARD STYLE?
270
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:56,166
[cheers and applause]
271
00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:59,166
THANK YOU
FOR MAKING US NUMBER ONE,
272
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:03,417
BECAUSE I WAS FINALLY ABLE
TO GET A NEW GUITAR!
273
00:11:03,542 --> 00:11:05,250
THANKS, SQUIDWARD!
274
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,834
[growls]
275
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:10,083
LET'S PARTY!
276
00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:13,208
[cheers and applause]
277
00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:16,250
[hard rock music]
278
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:24,083
♪ ♪
279
00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:30,750
[laughs evilly]
280
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:33,792
[zapping]
281
00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:37,291
KEEP IT DOWN!
282
00:11:37,417 --> 00:11:38,792
I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
283
00:11:38,917 --> 00:11:40,083
[yells]
284
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:44,083
♪ ♪
285
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,208
[jaunty ukulele music]
286
00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:55,500
♪ ♪
287
00:11:59,083 --> 00:12:01,375
THE COAST LOOKS CLEAR.
288
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,083
[door slams]
289
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:07,125
HI, SQUIDWARD!
290
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:08,208
[groans]
291
00:12:12,583 --> 00:12:16,959
- TODAY I FEEL LIKE
DOING SOME DANCING!
292
00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:18,375
THAT'S FUNNY.
293
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,166
EVEN A BARNACLE KNOWS
YOU NEED MUSIC TO DANCE.
294
00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:24,083
OH, I GOT MUSIC, FRIEND,
295
00:12:24,125 --> 00:12:25,542
IN MY MIND.
296
00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:27,083
[upbeat surf music]
297
00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:28,583
[upbeat ukulele music]
298
00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:31,959
OH, I LOVE THIS SONG.
299
00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:33,583
HERE I GO!
300
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:37,250
♪ ♪
301
00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:41,166
- THAT IS THE STUPIDEST
DANCE MOVE I'VE EVER SEEN.
302
00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:43,250
WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET?
303
00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:49,500
[upbeat accordion music]
304
00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:57,417
♪ ♪
305
00:13:01,417 --> 00:13:03,583
[whistles]
306
00:13:03,709 --> 00:13:05,625
[groans]
307
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,125
[grumbles]
308
00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:15,291
thud!
309
00:13:15,417 --> 00:13:16,083
crunch!
310
00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:44,083
YOUR KRABBY PATTY, MA'AM.
311
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,500
NOW EAT IT, SWALLOW IT,
AND CHEW IT DOWN.
312
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,375
- OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
DARLING,
313
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,375
AND YOUR DANCE MOVES
ARE PRETTY COOL TOO.
314
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,125
- REALLY?
YOU LIKE MY DANCING?
315
00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:53,333
THAT'S RIGHT, KID.
316
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:54,875
YOU GOT THE DAZZLE,
DAZZLE, DAZZLE.
317
00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:56,709
I LOVE HOW YOU DID THAT SHUFFLE
INTO THE MOONSAULT
318
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,208
AND THEN STUCK THE LANDING.
319
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:00,542
- WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE
OF YOU TO SAY.
320
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:03,458
- WAIT.
I'M NOT FINISHED SPEAKING WORDS.
321
00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:04,834
I'M A HIGH-CLASS TALENT AGENT,
322
00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:06,750
AND I WANT TO INVITE YOU
TO AN AUDITION.
323
00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:09,458
I HAVE A VERY TALENTED CLIENT
WHO NEEDS A BACKUP DANCER,
324
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,250
AND YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
325
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:14,333
COME DOWN TO MY DANCE STUDIO
TOMORROW AT NOON.
326
00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:17,125
YOU'RE GOING PLACES, KID.
327
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,542
WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP DANCING?
328
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:22,250
- NO, I CAN'T STOP DANCING NOW,
SQUIDWARD.
329
00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:24,875
I HAVE TO PRACTICE
FOR MY BIG AUDITION TOMORROW.
330
00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:27,291
YOU GOT A DANCE AUDITION?
331
00:14:27,417 --> 00:14:28,792
- THAT'S RIGHT,
SO I GOT TO PRACTICE
332
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:30,375
AS MUCH AS I CAN
BEFORE TOMORROW.
333
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,583
GOT A DANCE AUDITION.
334
00:14:31,709 --> 00:14:34,083
- THAT IDIOT
HAS A DANCE AUDITION?
335
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:35,959
HE DOESN'T KNOW THE FIRST THING
336
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,917
ABOUT THE SUBTLE INTRICACIES
OF DANCE.
337
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:39,083
[sighs]
338
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:40,917
LET HIM PRACTICE TILL HE DROPS.
339
00:14:41,083 --> 00:14:42,750
HE'S NEVER GONNA GET THAT PART.
340
00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:45,083
THAT'S IT!
341
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:48,083
HE'LL JUST HAVE TO PRACTICE
TILL HE DROPS.
342
00:14:48,125 --> 00:14:50,333
WHEN HE DOES, I'LL BE THERE,
343
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:53,917
ALL LEOTARDED UP
AND READY TO SHOW MY STUFF.
344
00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:54,875
OH, SPONGEBOB!
345
00:14:55,083 --> 00:14:56,375
SPONGEBOB, WAIT.
346
00:14:56,500 --> 00:15:00,083
SPONGEBOB, I MEAN,
I SUPPOSE I COULD TAKE YOU
347
00:15:00,208 --> 00:15:04,083
UNDER MY TUTELAGE, YOU KNOW,
SHOW YOU A FEW MOVES.
348
00:15:04,208 --> 00:15:05,959
- UNDER YOUR TUTELAGE, REALLY?
YOU MEAN IT?
349
00:15:06,083 --> 00:15:08,458
- BUT YOU MUST DO
EXACTLY WHAT I SAY.
350
00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:09,875
GOT THAT?
351
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:13,250
- I AM DANCE PUTTY
IN YOUR HANDS.
352
00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:15,083
HMM.
353
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,500
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
SQUIDWARD?
354
00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:21,959
- OH, UM, JUST
A PHYSICAL ASSESSMENT
355
00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:25,458
I DO WITH ALL MY NEW PUPILS,
HEH-HEH.
356
00:15:25,583 --> 00:15:27,166
YEAH, I'D SAY,
JUDGING FROM THE CONDITION
357
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,125
OF THOSE FLABBY ANKLES...
358
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,083
- FLABBY?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
359
00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:32,959
YOU'LL NEED
SOME PHYSICAL CONDITIONING
360
00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:36,166
BEFORE YOU EVER SET FOOT
ON A DANCE PARQUET.
361
00:15:36,291 --> 00:15:39,875
I WANT YOU TO RUN TO THE TOP
OF OYSTER PEAK AND BACK.
362
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,291
- OH, ANYTHING TO GET RID
OF THESE FLABBY ANKLES OF MINE.
363
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,083
- BY THE TIME
THAT IDIOT GETS BACK,
364
00:15:44,208 --> 00:15:46,500
HE'LL BE TOO TIRED TO DANCE,
HEH-HEH.
365
00:15:46,625 --> 00:15:47,834
WHAT--WHAT--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
366
00:15:47,959 --> 00:15:49,208
I'M BACK FROM MOUNT OYSTER.
367
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:51,083
HERE, GOT THIS FOR YOU
AT THE GIFT SHOP.
368
00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:52,917
FINE.
369
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:55,542
LET'S MOVE ON
TO OUR FIRST DANCE LESSON.
370
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:58,792
I WANT YOU TO MOONWALK
ON THIS TREADMILL
371
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:01,834
WHILE I READ
THIS ENTIRE NOVEL.
372
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,083
HUH?
373
00:16:07,125 --> 00:16:08,208
WHAT, IS HE STILL AT IT?
374
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:09,333
HUH?
375
00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:11,375
[treadmill beeping]
376
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,583
[explosion]
MY TREADMILL!
377
00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:15,875
- YOU KNOW, SQUIDWARD,
EXERCISING'S FUN AND ALL,
378
00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:17,875
BUT WHEN AM I GONNA LEARN
SOME DANCING?
379
00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:20,750
- ALL RIGHT,
YOU WANT TO LEARN SOME DANCING?
380
00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:23,583
I'LL SHOW YOU DANCING!
381
00:16:23,709 --> 00:16:25,583
YOU KNOW WHAT GETS PEOPLE GOING?
382
00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:26,917
RIBBONS!
383
00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:31,375
♪ ♪
384
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,583
WHOO!
385
00:16:32,709 --> 00:16:36,166
NOW, DO JUST AS I DID.
386
00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:38,083
LIKE THIS?
387
00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:41,250
♪ ♪
388
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,834
[whip cracks]
389
00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:44,917
[helicopter rotors whirring]
390
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:47,125
[dinosaur roars]
391
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:48,333
[woman giggling]
392
00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:50,083
PHBBBBT!
393
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:58,083
[grumbling]
394
00:17:01,959 --> 00:17:03,750
[crashing]
395
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,250
YOW!
396
00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:08,333
LIKE THAT, SQUIDWARD?
397
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:10,250
OKAY, TRY THIS.
398
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:13,583
IT'S SIMPLE
AND A REAL SHOWSTOPPER.
399
00:17:13,709 --> 00:17:15,625
PAY CLOSE ATTENTION.
400
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,458
[upbeat orchestral music]
401
00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:25,375
♪ ♪
402
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,083
NOW YOU.
403
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:29,083
- GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
ARE YOU SURE?
404
00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:31,291
- YOU WANT TO ACE THE AUDITION,
DON'T YOU?
405
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,166
- WELL, YES, BUT--
- THEN DO IT.
406
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:44,458
♪ ♪
407
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,250
[vacuum humming]
408
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:14,083
♪ ♪
409
00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:21,417
[horse whinnies]
410
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:27,542
[tapping]
411
00:18:29,291 --> 00:18:32,083
UGH!
412
00:18:42,792 --> 00:18:45,458
ENOUGH!
413
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,834
LISTEN, YOU PEA BRAIN,
414
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,792
WE ARE GONNA KEEP WORKING
ON YOUR ROUTINE
415
00:18:48,917 --> 00:18:50,583
UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT.
416
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:53,333
AND I DON'T CARE
HOW LONG IT TAKES.
417
00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:57,083
NOW, WATCH CLOSELY.
418
00:18:57,208 --> 00:18:58,875
AND A-ONE
419
00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:00,709
AND A-TWO
420
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:03,208
AND AHA!
421
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:04,375
YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THAT?
422
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:05,667
YES, SIR.
423
00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:07,291
THEN GO AND PRACTICE IT,
424
00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:11,208
AND DON'T STOP UNTIL
YOU'VE DONE EXACTLY AS I DID.
425
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:12,917
- AND A-ONE
AND A-TWO
426
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:14,083
AND A--UGH!
427
00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:15,834
NO.
428
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:17,583
AND A-ONE AND A-TWO
AND A--DAH!
429
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:19,291
NOPE.
430
00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:22,542
- REMEMBER, DON'T STOP
TILL YOU'VE DONE IT RIGHT.
431
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:23,542
RIGHT, SQUIDWARD.
432
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:25,166
AND A-ONE
433
00:19:25,291 --> 00:19:26,333
AND A-TWO
434
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:27,375
AND A-UGH!
435
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,709
NOPE.
436
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,208
thud!
437
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:31,291
thud!
438
00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:32,792
[yawns]
439
00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:34,291
[lips smacking]
440
00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:35,834
EH, BETTER GO CHECK
441
00:19:35,959 --> 00:19:39,834
ON THE LITTLE YELLOW
SEA MONKEY'S PROGRESS.
442
00:19:39,959 --> 00:19:42,458
WELL, SPONGEBOB,
HAVE YOU LEARNED THE MOVES?
443
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:43,750
AND A-ONE
AND A-TWO
444
00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:44,750
AND A--
445
00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:45,792
thud!
446
00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:47,125
AW, COME ON, NOW.
447
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:48,875
AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU?
448
00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:51,542
WE'VE GOT ONE DAY, SPONGEBOB.
449
00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:52,959
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
450
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:53,875
- LET'S GO.
LET'S GO.
451
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:56,208
WE'RE BURNING DAYLIGHT.
452
00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:59,250
[upbeat orchestral music]
453
00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:07,375
♪ ♪
454
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:08,417
- AND A-ONE
455
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:09,917
AND A-TWO
456
00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:11,583
AND A--OOF!
457
00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:13,375
IS THAT OKAY, SQUIDWARD?
458
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,041
I'M STILL NOT CONVINCED.
459
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:17,375
DO IT AGAIN.
460
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,875
- AND A-ONE
461
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,417
AND A-TWO...
462
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:24,125
AND A-ONE AND A-TWO AND-A...
463
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:27,000
[snoring]
464
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,041
AND-A...
[snores]
465
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:32,500
GOOD NIGHT, SWEET PRINCE,
466
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:35,333
AND HELLO,
STARDOM FOR YOURS TRULY.
467
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:37,041
[laughing]
468
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,625
both: ♪ WE'RE TINY,
WE'RE CUDDLY ♪
469
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:43,709
♪ WE'RE BUBBLY, WUBBLY,
HUGGLY ♪
470
00:20:43,834 --> 00:20:45,583
THAT WAS VERY CUTE, GIRLS.
471
00:20:45,709 --> 00:20:46,625
[both gasp]
472
00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:47,917
IN FACT, IT'S TOO CUTE.
473
00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:50,000
YOU'RE OUT.
474
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,500
both: I TOLD YOU
IT WAS STUPID A IDEA,
475
00:20:52,625 --> 00:20:54,000
AND I HATE YOU TOO.
476
00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:56,250
LET'S SEE WHO'S NEXT.
477
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:58,875
HMM.
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS...
478
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,959
OH, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
479
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,583
SPONGEBOB!
480
00:21:02,709 --> 00:21:04,667
I GUESS HE'S NOT HERE.
481
00:21:04,792 --> 00:21:06,375
IT'S TOO BAD.
HE WAS GOOD.
482
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:10,083
BUT WHO COULD REPLACE
A DANCER OF SUCH HIGH CALIBER?
483
00:21:10,125 --> 00:21:12,709
- ONLY THE BEST DANCER
IN BIKINI BOTTOM.
484
00:21:12,834 --> 00:21:13,959
REALLY?
485
00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:16,125
WELL, I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.
486
00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:18,291
- HEH-HEH-HEH.
487
00:21:18,417 --> 00:21:21,417
OBSERVE A TRUE MASTER AT WORK.
488
00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:24,250
[plucky orchestral music]
489
00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:32,166
♪ ♪
490
00:21:34,083 --> 00:21:36,208
OH, SWEET SASSAFRAS!
491
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:38,542
DO MINE EYES DECEIVE ME?
492
00:21:38,667 --> 00:21:40,417
THAT WAS THE GREATEST ROUTINE
493
00:21:40,542 --> 00:21:43,208
SINCE THE GREATEST THING SINCE
SLICED BREAD DANCING ROUTINE.
494
00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:44,417
CONGRATULATIONS.
495
00:21:44,542 --> 00:21:45,625
YOU GOT THE GIG.
496
00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,500
OH, BABY, I KNEW IT.
497
00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:50,667
YOU WON'T BE SORRY
YOU MADE THIS DECISION.
498
00:21:50,792 --> 00:21:52,250
- I DON'T THINK
YOU'LL BE SORRY EITHER,
499
00:21:52,375 --> 00:21:55,750
BECAUSE YOU'LL BE DANCING
IN SQUILLIAM'S SHOW.
500
00:21:55,875 --> 00:21:58,792
- SQU--SQU--SQU--
SQU--SQU--SQU--
501
00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:00,709
WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE!
502
00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:05,083
GET THE SAND OUT OF YOUR LEOTARD
AND DANCE FOR ME, NITWIT!
503
00:22:05,166 --> 00:22:08,375
[tapping]
504
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:09,583
DANCE!
505
00:22:09,709 --> 00:22:12,250
[upbeat ukulele music]
506
00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:13,583
smack!
507
00:22:13,709 --> 00:22:16,083
NOT LIKE THAT,
KELP FOR BRAINS.
508
00:22:16,166 --> 00:22:17,667
YOU CALL THAT DANCING?
509
00:22:17,792 --> 00:22:20,375
DO IT LIKE THIS.
510
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:21,417
HERE I GO.
511
00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:27,917
♪ ♪
512
00:22:28,083 --> 00:22:29,709
WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET?
513
00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:30,750
UGH.
514
00:22:30,875 --> 00:22:32,917
NOW, DO IT EXACTLY AS I DID,
515
00:22:33,083 --> 00:22:35,125
AND DON'T STOP
TILL YOU GET IT RIGHT,
516
00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:37,500
AND I DON'T CARE
HOW LONG IT TAKES!
517
00:22:37,625 --> 00:22:42,625
♪ ♪
518
00:22:42,750 --> 00:22:44,875
I WAS UP FOR THAT PART.
519
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:51,083
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
520
00:22:51,166 --> 00:22:54,083
[lilting ukulele music]
521
00:22:54,208 --> 00:23:02,083
♪ ♪
522
00:23:29,583 --> 00:23:31,208
{\an8}[kids laughing]