1 00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:22,570 GOOD MORNING, DAY. 2 00:00:24,445 --> 00:00:25,388 crack! 3 00:00:25,403 --> 00:00:26,528 OW! 4 00:00:26,653 --> 00:00:28,695 I STUBBED MY TOE. 5 00:00:34,779 --> 00:00:36,361 I STUBBED MY TOE! 6 00:00:43,403 --> 00:00:44,862 rip! 7 00:00:44,987 --> 00:00:47,987 OH, THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SHIRT. 8 00:00:51,195 --> 00:00:53,862 AND THAT WAS AJA BY EELY DAN. 9 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:58,195 NEXT UP IS LIONEL FISHY WITH HIS HIT, SAD SONG. 10 00:01:03,695 --> 00:01:06,945 A SO SAD SONG! 11 00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:09,904 THAT SPONGEBOB IS SUCH A CRYBABY. 12 00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:11,361 LUCKY ME. 13 00:01:11,487 --> 00:01:14,445 I GET TO WORK WITH HIM ALL DAY. 14 00:01:19,695 --> 00:01:20,987 * LA-LA-LA-LA * 15 00:01:21,111 --> 00:01:22,653 * LA-LA-BOP-BOP-BA-DA * 16 00:01:22,779 --> 00:01:24,320 - YOW! - SPONGEBOB, GUESS WHAT. 17 00:01:24,445 --> 00:01:26,278 YEAH, I'LL COME BACK LATER. 18 00:01:30,153 --> 00:01:32,403 HE WAS A GOOD LITTLE KRABBY PATTY. 19 00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:34,862 I DIDN'T KNOW HIM WELL, 20 00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,195 BUT IN THE FEW SHORT SECONDS 21 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,612 BETWEEN GRILL AND FLOOR… 22 00:01:38,737 --> 00:01:40,695 I CAME TO LOVE HIM. 23 00:01:44,779 --> 00:01:47,528 IT JUST ISN'T FAIR! 24 00:01:53,153 --> 00:01:56,445 SPONGEBOB, WILL YOU STOP CRYING? 25 00:01:56,570 --> 00:01:58,487 BUT THE KRABBY PATTY FELL ON THE FLOOR AND THEN HE… 26 00:01:58,612 --> 00:02:00,195 KRABBY PATTY NOTHING. 27 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,487 BUT… 28 00:02:01,612 --> 00:02:03,570 KRABBY PATTY NOTHING! 29 00:02:05,904 --> 00:02:08,278 WHAT NOW? 30 00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:10,528 YOU YELLED AT ME. 31 00:02:10,653 --> 00:02:12,695 YOU YELLED AT ME! 32 00:02:15,195 --> 00:02:16,445 ALL RIGHT, LOOK. 33 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,779 SO FAR TODAY, 34 00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:19,779 AND IT'S NOT EVEN 2:00 YET, 35 00:02:19,904 --> 00:02:23,445 YOU HAVE CRIED 43 TIMES. 36 00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:25,320 AND YOU WROTE THAT NUMBER ON A CHALKBOARD? 37 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:26,430 YES! 38 00:02:26,445 --> 00:02:28,528 WHY? 39 00:02:28,653 --> 00:02:30,653 I HAVE NO IDEA. 40 00:02:30,779 --> 00:02:33,111 OH, SQUIDWARD, THERE'S NO WAY I CRY THAT MUCH. 41 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,070 THERE'S NOT THAT MANY TEARS IN MY BRAIN. 42 00:02:35,195 --> 00:02:36,904 AU CONTRAIRE. 43 00:02:37,029 --> 00:02:38,779 WHAT'S THIS? 44 00:02:38,904 --> 00:02:39,847 IT'S A QUICK MONTAGE OF FLASHBACKS 45 00:02:39,862 --> 00:02:41,153 I'VE EDITED TOGETHER 46 00:02:41,278 --> 00:02:42,612 THAT SHOWS THE HUNDREDS OF TEARS 47 00:02:42,737 --> 00:02:44,445 YOU HAVE CRIED OVER THE YEARS. 48 00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:03,403 STOP. IT BURNS. 49 00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:05,403 THOUSANDS OF TEARS LATER… 50 00:03:08,029 --> 00:03:09,153 WOW. 51 00:03:09,278 --> 00:03:10,570 GUESS I DO CRY A LOT. 52 00:03:10,695 --> 00:03:12,945 I PROMISE I WON'T CRY ANYMORE. 53 00:03:13,070 --> 00:03:15,236 OH, NONSENSE. 54 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,695 I BET YOU CAN'T GO THE REST OF THE DAY WITHOUT CRYING. 55 00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:20,487 EXCUSE ME A MINUTE. 56 00:03:25,779 --> 00:03:27,320 STAR RESIDENCE. 57 00:03:27,445 --> 00:03:28,737 PATRICK SPEAKING. 58 00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:29,862 HEY, PATRICK. 59 00:03:29,945 --> 00:03:30,987 HEY, BUDDY! 60 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,653 IS IT 7:30 ALREADY? 61 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:33,862 NO, I'M STILL AT WORK. 62 00:03:33,987 --> 00:03:36,111 HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 63 00:03:36,236 --> 00:03:37,695 DO YOU THINK THAT I COULD GO THE REST OF THE DAY 64 00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:39,653 WITHOUT CRYING? 65 00:03:39,779 --> 00:03:41,236 WELL, OF COURSE YOU CAN. 66 00:03:41,361 --> 00:03:43,403 OKAY, GREAT. THANKS, PATRICK. 67 00:03:43,528 --> 00:03:45,195 SURE. 68 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,278 DID YOU REMEMBER TO PUT THAT PACKAGE OUTSIDE 69 00:03:47,403 --> 00:03:49,153 WHERE I TOLD YOU? 70 00:03:49,278 --> 00:03:50,987 YEAH, BUT I LEFT IT IN A DIFFERENT SPOT. 71 00:03:51,111 --> 00:03:52,695 JUST ASK GARY. HE KNOWS WHERE IT IS. 72 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,487 HEY, GOOD ONE, BUDDY. 73 00:03:58,612 --> 00:04:00,195 YOU ALMOST HAD ME THERE. 74 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,528 OKAY. 75 00:04:01,653 --> 00:04:03,070 YEAH, TALK TO YOU LATER. 76 00:04:03,195 --> 00:04:05,361 ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU. 77 00:04:05,487 --> 00:04:06,737 OKAY, IT'S A BET. 78 00:04:06,862 --> 00:04:08,361 FINE. 79 00:04:08,487 --> 00:04:09,904 IF YOU CRY ONE TEAR BEFORE MIDNIGHT, 80 00:04:10,029 --> 00:04:12,737 YOU HAVE TO WASH MY BIKE, 81 00:04:12,862 --> 00:04:14,612 CLEAN OUT MY RAIN GUTTERS, 82 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:16,612 AND DO ALL MY YARD WORK FOR A YEAR. 83 00:04:16,737 --> 00:04:18,278 SOUNDS FAIR TO ME. 84 00:04:18,403 --> 00:04:20,153 AND IF I MAKE IT TO MIDNIGHT WITHOUT CRYING, 85 00:04:20,278 --> 00:04:22,029 YOU'LL COME TO A SLUMBER PARTY AT MY PLACE, 86 00:04:22,153 --> 00:04:24,278 JUST YOU AND ME. 87 00:04:25,653 --> 00:04:26,638 OOH, WHAT'S A MATTER? 88 00:04:26,653 --> 00:04:28,195 UM, NOTHING. 89 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:29,737 I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH. 90 00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:31,653 NO NEED TO WORRY, SQUIDDY. 91 00:04:31,779 --> 00:04:33,029 YOU'VE OUTDONE YOURSELF. 92 00:04:33,153 --> 00:04:36,111 HE'LL BE CRYING IN TEN MINUTES. 93 00:04:36,236 --> 00:04:37,236 HA! 94 00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:46,236 HA. 95 00:04:46,361 --> 00:04:48,070 THANKS AGAIN FOR WALKING HOME WITH ME, SQUIDWARD. 96 00:04:48,195 --> 00:04:50,320 THERE'S A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING. 97 00:04:50,445 --> 00:04:53,403 ALSO I'D LIKE TO WIN THIS BET AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 98 00:04:55,653 --> 00:04:56,653 I'M NOT GONNA CRY. 99 00:04:56,695 --> 00:04:57,638 I'M NOT GONNA CRY. 100 00:04:57,653 --> 00:04:59,820 I CAN DO THIS. 101 00:04:59,945 --> 00:05:01,987 DO WHAT? 102 00:05:02,111 --> 00:05:03,653 OH, MY. 103 00:05:03,779 --> 00:05:05,487 WHAT A LOVELY SUNSET. 104 00:05:05,612 --> 00:05:07,570 TAKE A LOOK, SPONGEBOB. 105 00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:11,570 ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL? 106 00:05:11,695 --> 00:05:14,445 I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL UNDERWATER SUNSET. 107 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:16,737 REALLY TUGS AT THE HEARTSTRINGS, DOESN'T IT? 108 00:05:16,862 --> 00:05:17,862 MM-HMM. 109 00:05:17,904 --> 00:05:18,904 IT… 110 00:05:26,779 --> 00:05:28,779 IS THAT A TEAR I SEE? 111 00:05:31,862 --> 00:05:33,987 OH, WELL, SUNSET'S OVER. 112 00:05:34,111 --> 00:05:35,111 UGH. 113 00:05:37,779 --> 00:05:39,153 NICE OF YOU TO DROP IN, NEIGHBOR. 114 00:05:39,278 --> 00:05:40,945 NICE OF YOU TO HAVE ME. I… 115 00:05:41,070 --> 00:05:42,695 OH, LOOK, SPONGEBOB. 116 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,070 GARY'S SLEEPING. 117 00:05:47,987 --> 00:05:51,029 AW, HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL. 118 00:05:51,153 --> 00:05:53,820 THAT IS JUST SO ADORABLE. 119 00:05:53,945 --> 00:05:57,278 ALMOST MAKES YOU WANT TO CRY. 120 00:05:57,403 --> 00:05:58,388 YEAH… 121 00:05:58,403 --> 00:06:00,236 NO. 122 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,570 THERE SHALL BE NO TEARS IN THIS HOUSE TONIGHT. 123 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,070 * LA-LA-LA-LA-LA * 124 00:06:05,195 --> 00:06:06,779 OH, SPONGEBOB? 125 00:06:06,904 --> 00:06:08,195 - YES? - YOUR MAIL'S HERE. 126 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,278 OOH. OH, LOOK. 127 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,904 IT'S A POSTCARD FROM YOUR DEAR MOTHER AND FATHER 128 00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:14,487 SO FAR AWAY. 129 00:06:14,612 --> 00:06:16,403 MOTHER? FATHER? 130 00:06:16,528 --> 00:06:18,695 "DEAR SPONGEBOB, WE ARE HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME 131 00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:20,487 "IN THE SOUTH SEAS, 132 00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:23,029 AND WE MISS YOU VERY, VERY MUCH." 133 00:06:23,153 --> 00:06:25,361 OH… 134 00:06:25,487 --> 00:06:27,111 MY SUBSCRIPTION TO JELLY FISHING MONTHLY'S EXPIRED. 135 00:06:27,236 --> 00:06:28,487 REMIND ME TO RENEW THAT, WILL YOU, SQUIDWARD? 136 00:06:28,612 --> 00:06:32,070 NO PROBLEM. 137 00:06:32,195 --> 00:06:33,945 WELCOME BACK TO BIKINI BOTTOM NEWS. 138 00:06:34,070 --> 00:06:35,653 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, 139 00:06:35,779 --> 00:06:37,862 A SERIES OF SAD TALES. 140 00:06:37,987 --> 00:06:39,111 OOH, LET'S TURN IT UP. 141 00:06:39,236 --> 00:06:40,904 TRAGEDY IN THE PARK 142 00:06:41,029 --> 00:06:42,528 WHEN A YOUNG SNAIL CAUGHT IN A TREE 143 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,236 ALMOST DIDN'T GET DOWN. 144 00:06:44,361 --> 00:06:45,361 MEOW. 145 00:06:46,695 --> 00:06:47,597 HOWEVER, 146 00:06:47,612 --> 00:06:48,904 HE DID… 147 00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:50,029 GET DOWN. 148 00:06:50,153 --> 00:06:51,487 HOORAY! 149 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:52,862 COMING UP, 150 00:06:52,987 --> 00:06:54,904 AN INTERVIEW WITH A MANATEE 151 00:06:55,029 --> 00:06:56,737 WHO DIDN'T GET WHAT HE WANTED FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. 152 00:06:56,862 --> 00:06:58,403 OH, NO. 153 00:06:58,528 --> 00:07:00,070 AND FINALLY, SAD NEWS 154 00:07:00,195 --> 00:07:02,653 FOR MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY FANS. 155 00:07:02,779 --> 00:07:03,820 WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 156 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,820 THEY WILL ONLY BE SHOWING 157 00:07:05,945 --> 00:07:07,320 THE MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY SHOW 158 00:07:07,445 --> 00:07:09,945 SEVEN TIMES A DAY INSTEAD OF EIGHT. 159 00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:11,528 LET'S WATCH SOMETHING ELSE, SQUIDWARD, OKAY? 160 00:07:11,653 --> 00:07:12,653 FINE! 161 00:07:15,070 --> 00:07:16,278 HEY, DAD. 162 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,278 HOW ABOUT A GAME OF CATCH? 163 00:07:18,403 --> 00:07:19,445 SORRY, SON. 164 00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:20,945 I'M LATE FOR WORK. 165 00:07:21,070 --> 00:07:24,029 OKAY, DAD. 166 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:27,111 I GUESS I CAN STAY FOR A FEW THROWS. 167 00:07:27,236 --> 00:07:28,570 I LOVE YOU, DAD. 168 00:07:28,695 --> 00:07:31,070 I LOVE YOU, SON. 169 00:07:32,737 --> 00:07:33,722 zap! 170 00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:34,737 UGH! 171 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,779 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT THAT TELEVISION… 172 00:07:39,904 --> 00:07:41,612 ROTS THE BRAIN. 173 00:07:41,737 --> 00:07:43,153 HEY, THANKS FOR THE TV, SPONGEBOB. 174 00:07:43,278 --> 00:07:45,070 I'M GONNA WATCH IT ALL NIGHT. 175 00:07:51,695 --> 00:07:53,195 IT'S GETTING LATE. 176 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,070 I'D BETTER BRING OUT THE BIG GUNS. 177 00:07:55,195 --> 00:07:56,528 OH, SPONGEBOB? 178 00:07:56,653 --> 00:07:57,820 YES, SQUIDWARD? 179 00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:58,945 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO 180 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,111 A LITTLE MUSIC? 181 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,987 I'D SAY… 182 00:08:03,111 --> 00:08:03,972 I'LL GO AND GET SOME REFRESHMENTS. 183 00:08:03,987 --> 00:08:05,236 DON'T BE LONG. 184 00:08:05,361 --> 00:08:06,737 MY SECRET WEAPON IS WAITING. 185 00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:10,236 YOU SAID SOMETHING, SQUIDWARD? 186 00:08:10,361 --> 00:08:12,987 OH, I JUST SAID, "RELAX, AND ENJOY THE SONG". 187 00:08:26,695 --> 00:08:28,904 THAT'S A REALLY SAD SONG, SQUIDWARD. 188 00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:30,236 YOU'RE NOT GONNA CRY THOUGH, ARE YOU? 189 00:08:30,361 --> 00:08:32,070 NO. 190 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,153 TIME REALLY DOES FLY WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN. 191 00:08:36,278 --> 00:08:37,820 WELL, I BETTER START GETTING READY FOR BED. 192 00:08:37,945 --> 00:08:39,070 UH, SPONGEBOB, NO, NO, NO. 193 00:08:39,195 --> 00:08:40,195 UH, WAIT. 194 00:08:40,278 --> 00:08:41,528 YES, SQUIDWARD? 195 00:08:41,653 --> 00:08:42,653 HOW ABOUT A BEDTIME STORY? 196 00:08:42,779 --> 00:08:45,487 NOW YOU'RE TALKING. 197 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:46,472 WHATCHA GONNA READ ME, SQUIDWARD? 198 00:08:46,487 --> 00:08:49,236 UM… 199 00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,987 HOW ABOUT THE LITTLE ANGLER WHO GOT LOST? 200 00:08:52,111 --> 00:08:53,653 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A VERY SAD STORY. 201 00:08:53,779 --> 00:08:56,278 OH, VERY SAD. 202 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,195 THERE ONCE WAS A LITTLE ANGLER 203 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,445 WHO WAS LITTLE AND SAD. 204 00:09:03,070 --> 00:09:05,070 ONE DAY THE LITTLE SAD ANGLER 205 00:09:05,195 --> 00:09:07,278 WAS WALKING THROUGH THE PARK. 206 00:09:07,403 --> 00:09:08,528 WALKING. 207 00:09:08,653 --> 00:09:10,695 BUT HE WAS SAD. 208 00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:11,945 BECAUSE… 209 00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:13,695 HE WAS LOST. 210 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,695 HE WAS LOST AND VERY SAD. 211 00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:19,653 AND THEN HE… HE STARTED TO CRY. 212 00:09:19,779 --> 00:09:22,487 HE CRIED AND HE CRIED, 213 00:09:22,612 --> 00:09:23,904 AND HE CRIED EVEN MORE. 214 00:09:24,029 --> 00:09:26,653 AND HE KEPT CRYING AND CRYING 215 00:09:26,779 --> 00:09:29,862 AND CRYING AND CRYING AND… 216 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,320 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU CAN DO IT. 217 00:09:32,445 --> 00:09:34,904 I'M WONDERING IF IT MIGHT NOT BE SO HEALTHY 218 00:09:35,029 --> 00:09:36,987 TO HOLD IN ALL MY TEARS, SQUIDWARD. 219 00:09:37,111 --> 00:09:38,195 YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT, SPONGEBOB. 220 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,445 LET IT ALL OUT. 221 00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:41,361 DON'T FIGHT THE FEEL… 222 00:09:42,612 --> 00:09:44,570 TEN, NINE… 223 00:09:44,695 --> 00:09:45,680 DO IT. DO IT. CRY. 224 00:09:45,695 --> 00:09:47,445 EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, 225 00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:48,555 FIVE… 226 00:09:48,570 --> 00:09:49,695 COME ON! 227 00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:52,361 FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE. 228 00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:56,695 MIDNIGHT. 229 00:09:58,653 --> 00:10:00,403 WELL, SPONGEBOB, 230 00:10:00,528 --> 00:10:02,528 IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WON THE… 231 00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:12,945 WOW. 232 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:16,361 WHAT A GREAT SHOW. 233 00:10:16,487 --> 00:10:20,445 WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE STILL TOGETHER, LITTLE ONES. 234 00:10:26,987 --> 00:10:29,487 thud! 235 00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:30,945 MORE POPCORN, SQUIDWARD? 236 00:10:31,070 --> 00:10:32,070 NO, NO. 237 00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,612 NO, NO, PLEASE. 238 00:10:33,737 --> 00:10:34,680 DON'T BE SHY NOW. 239 00:10:34,695 --> 00:10:36,153 I MADE EXTRA. 240 00:10:39,737 --> 00:10:40,862 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. LET IT OUT. 241 00:10:40,987 --> 00:10:42,779 YOU CAN CRY ALL YOU WANT. 242 00:10:42,904 --> 00:10:45,361 YOU'RE AMONG FRIENDS HERE. 243 00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:13,820 HAVE A GOOD SUMMER VACATION, CLASS. 244 00:11:13,945 --> 00:11:17,070 I'LL SEE YOU ALL NEXT FALL. 245 00:11:17,195 --> 00:11:21,528 WELL, HOPEFULLY NOT ALL OF YOU. 246 00:11:21,653 --> 00:11:22,653 TIME TO VAMOOSE. 247 00:11:22,737 --> 00:11:25,695 OH, MRS. PUFF? 248 00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:27,195 WHERE ARE MY KEYS? 249 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,320 MRS. PUFF? 250 00:11:28,403 --> 00:11:29,695 COME ON. 251 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:32,361 I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. 252 00:11:32,487 --> 00:11:33,487 AH-HAH! 253 00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:34,737 MRS. PUFF? 254 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,070 GET AWAY FROM ME. 255 00:11:41,236 --> 00:11:43,070 OH, MRS. PUFF? 256 00:11:45,695 --> 00:11:46,695 I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. 257 00:11:57,195 --> 00:11:58,195 PHEW. 258 00:11:58,236 --> 00:11:59,236 I LOST HIM. 259 00:11:59,361 --> 00:12:00,361 MRS. PUFF? 260 00:12:01,779 --> 00:12:03,528 CAN I GIVE YOU MY NOTE NOW? 261 00:12:03,653 --> 00:12:04,862 WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT? 262 00:12:08,445 --> 00:12:09,945 HELP. 263 00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:12,862 OH, DEAR. OF COURSE I'LL HELP. 264 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,445 smack! 265 00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:25,528 MRS. PUFF, DON'T FORGET TO READ THE NOTE! 266 00:12:25,653 --> 00:12:27,487 WHY WON'T HE JUST LE… 267 00:12:29,695 --> 00:12:31,945 WHOA! 268 00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:33,070 crash! 269 00:12:37,528 --> 00:12:38,904 AH! 270 00:12:39,029 --> 00:12:41,236 OH, NO. NOT AGAIN. 271 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,029 IF MY PAROLE OFFICER FINDS OUT, I DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 272 00:12:44,153 --> 00:12:46,904 I'LL BE SENTENCED FOR LIFE THIS TIME. 273 00:12:47,029 --> 00:12:50,153 HMM, QUITE A CONUNDRUM YOU HAVE HERE. 274 00:12:50,278 --> 00:12:53,195 IT WOULD BE A CRYING SHAME TO A CERTAIN SOMEONE 275 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,029 IF THIS INFORMATION WERE TO LEAK OUT TO THE AUTHORITIES. 276 00:12:56,153 --> 00:12:58,153 OH, PLEASE, DON'T TELL THE POLICE. 277 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,528 I'LL BE A DEAD MAN IF I GET CAUGHT. 278 00:13:00,653 --> 00:13:01,820 I'LL DO ANYTHING. 279 00:13:01,945 --> 00:13:03,570 IT'S GONNA COST A FORTUNE 280 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:04,945 TO GET THIS FIXED… 281 00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:06,487 THANKS TO YOU. 282 00:13:06,612 --> 00:13:08,487 OH, GRACIOUS ME. 283 00:13:08,612 --> 00:13:10,487 I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF CASH. 284 00:13:10,612 --> 00:13:12,320 DON'T WORRY. 285 00:13:12,445 --> 00:13:13,430 I THINK WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT. 286 00:13:13,445 --> 00:13:14,987 HUH? 287 00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:17,195 YOU MEAN WE SHOULD GO OUT ON A DATE? 288 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,320 UH… 289 00:13:18,361 --> 00:13:19,862 INTERESTING. 290 00:13:19,987 --> 00:13:21,236 NO, I HAD SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND. 291 00:13:21,361 --> 00:13:22,779 SURPRISE, SPONGEBOB. 292 00:13:22,904 --> 00:13:24,445 YOU HAVE A NEW COWORKER. 293 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:25,987 MRS. PUFF! 294 00:13:28,029 --> 00:13:28,764 SHE'LL BE FILLING IN FOR SQUIDWARD 295 00:13:28,779 --> 00:13:29,680 WHILE HE'S… 296 00:13:29,695 --> 00:13:30,695 UH… 297 00:13:30,737 --> 00:13:31,987 ON VACATION. 298 00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,653 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MRS. PUFF? 299 00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,153 THAT'S RIGHT. 300 00:13:35,278 --> 00:13:37,528 AND SHE'LL BE WORKING UNPAID 301 00:13:37,653 --> 00:13:40,528 UNTIL HE RETURNS, WON'T SHE? 302 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,862 YEAH. 303 00:13:42,987 --> 00:13:44,111 SQUIDWARD. 304 00:13:44,236 --> 00:13:45,528 I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, 305 00:13:45,653 --> 00:13:46,638 YOU'RE TAKING THE SUMMER OFF. 306 00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:47,472 HAVE A GOOD TIME. 307 00:13:47,487 --> 00:13:48,653 SEE YA. 308 00:13:48,779 --> 00:13:50,195 WHOO, THAT WAS CLOSE. 309 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,653 IT ALL SOUNDS A BIT MYSTERIOUS TO ME. 310 00:13:53,779 --> 00:13:55,236 BUT WHY SHOULD I CARE? 311 00:13:55,361 --> 00:13:57,695 I'M WORKING WITH GOOD OLD MRS. PUFF. 312 00:13:57,820 --> 00:13:59,820 SAY, DID YOU GET MY NOTE? 313 00:13:59,945 --> 00:14:02,111 OH, I GOT YOUR NOTE ALL RIGHT. 314 00:14:02,236 --> 00:14:03,695 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 315 00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:05,070 WHAT DID I THINK? 316 00:14:05,195 --> 00:14:07,153 I THINK IT CAUSED ME TO… 317 00:14:07,278 --> 00:14:11,612 UH, LET'S JUST SAY IT CHANGED MY LIFE. 318 00:14:11,737 --> 00:14:13,695 IT CERTAINLY HAS. 319 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,445 NOW SPONGEBOB, WOULD YOU PLEASE SHOW MRS. PUFF HER NEW DUTIES 320 00:14:16,570 --> 00:14:18,779 VIS-A-VIS HER RECENTLY CHANGED LIFE, 321 00:14:18,904 --> 00:14:20,487 BECAUSE I SURE AS SNAIL SNOT 322 00:14:20,612 --> 00:14:21,597 CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO DO IT. 323 00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:23,278 OH, BOY. 324 00:14:23,403 --> 00:14:26,445 I GET TO SHOW YOU THE ROPES, MRS. PUFF. 325 00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:29,320 HEY, IT'S KINDA LIKE I'M THE TEACHER. 326 00:14:32,278 --> 00:14:34,695 I'M GONNA BE TEACHING YOU NOW. 327 00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:37,070 PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. 328 00:14:37,195 --> 00:14:38,779 SHALL WE START WITH THE IMPORTANCE 329 00:14:38,904 --> 00:14:41,029 OF GOOD KITCHEN HYGIENE? 330 00:14:41,153 --> 00:14:42,987 OR THE UNABRIDGED HISTORY OF THE PATTY? 331 00:14:43,111 --> 00:14:46,987 WHY DON'T WE JUST START WITH MY BASIC DUTIES? 332 00:14:47,111 --> 00:14:48,820 EAGER TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL, EH? 333 00:14:48,945 --> 00:14:50,528 I LIKE IT. 334 00:14:52,029 --> 00:14:54,029 "THIS IS MY REGISTER. 335 00:14:54,153 --> 00:14:55,820 THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE." 336 00:14:55,945 --> 00:14:58,029 THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE. 337 00:14:58,153 --> 00:14:59,945 NOW, LIKE A SHIP'S RUDDER, 338 00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:01,862 THIS OLD REGISTER IS TEMPERAMENTAL. 339 00:15:01,987 --> 00:15:04,445 SO WHEN YOU HIT THE TOTAL KEY… 340 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,513 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 341 00:15:05,528 --> 00:15:06,737 NOTHING. 342 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,029 YOU'RE NOT TAKING NOTES? 343 00:15:08,153 --> 00:15:10,987 ALWAYS REMEMBER, GOOD GRADES… 344 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,403 both: ONLY FOLLOW DILIGENT NOTES. 345 00:15:13,528 --> 00:15:14,695 I KNOW, SPONGEBOB. 346 00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:16,195 I TAUGHT YOU THAT PHRASE. 347 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,820 DON'T WORRY, MRS. PUFF. 348 00:15:17,945 --> 00:15:20,528 YOU MAY BORROW MY NOTEPAD TODAY. 349 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:21,653 NOW, WHERE WAS I? 350 00:15:21,695 --> 00:15:22,987 OH, YES. 351 00:15:23,111 --> 00:15:24,862 THE TOTAL KEY IS A BIT STICKY, 352 00:15:24,987 --> 00:15:25,987 SO YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE FORCEFUL, 353 00:15:26,029 --> 00:15:28,029 BUT NOT TOO FORCEFUL. 354 00:15:28,153 --> 00:15:29,862 DID YOU GET THAT? 355 00:15:29,987 --> 00:15:30,987 FORCEFUL, BUT NOT TOO FORCEFUL. 356 00:15:31,111 --> 00:15:32,820 YOU DID! 357 00:15:32,945 --> 00:15:36,862 DILIGENCE LIKE THIS DESERVES A STICKER. 358 00:15:36,987 --> 00:15:40,111 COLLECT TEN, AND YOU'RE ENTITLED TO A "SUPER" STICKER. 359 00:15:40,236 --> 00:15:41,820 WHY DON'T WE WORK ON OUR CUSTOMER SERVICE 360 00:15:41,945 --> 00:15:43,904 WITH A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING? 361 00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:45,820 I'LL BE THE CUSTOMER, AND YOU SHOW ME YOUR BEST 362 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,361 AND FRIENDLIEST SERVICE, HMM? 363 00:15:47,487 --> 00:15:50,236 FINE. 364 00:15:50,361 --> 00:15:51,570 GOOD DAY, M'LADY. 365 00:15:51,695 --> 00:15:53,236 CHARMED, I'M SURE. 366 00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:55,445 FUNNY COSTUME, SPONGEBOB. 367 00:15:55,570 --> 00:15:58,111 FORGIVE ME, BUT I KNOW NOT OF THIS SPONGEBOB FELLOW. 368 00:15:58,236 --> 00:16:00,195 MY NAME IS DUKE THOMAS FEATHERMUFFIN, 369 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,195 AND I ENTERED YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS 370 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:03,862 IN HOPES OF PROCURING LUNCH ON THIS FINE DAY. 371 00:16:03,987 --> 00:16:06,945 OF COURSE, MR. FEATHERMUFFIN. 372 00:16:07,070 --> 00:16:08,653 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT TODAY? 373 00:16:08,779 --> 00:16:10,111 psst! MRS. PUFF. 374 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,403 IT'S ME, SPONGEBOB. 375 00:16:12,528 --> 00:16:15,195 I THINK THIS WILL GO SMOOTHER IF YOU JUST REFER TO HIM AS DUKE. 376 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:16,945 YOU MEAN TO REFER TO YOU AS DUKE. 377 00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:18,403 OF COURSE. 378 00:16:18,528 --> 00:16:19,695 HOW ELSE WOULD ONE REFER TO ME? 379 00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,945 I AM A DUKE, AFTER ALL. 380 00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:23,653 NOW, I SHOULD FANCY A MEAL, IF IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT WITH YOU. 381 00:16:23,779 --> 00:16:24,820 OKAY, DUKE. 382 00:16:24,945 --> 00:16:26,612 WHAT'LL YOU HAVE? 383 00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:29,153 I SHALL HAVE BEANS ON TOAST, PLEASE. 384 00:16:29,278 --> 00:16:32,361 ALL RIGHT, ONE BEANS ON TOAST COMING UP. 385 00:16:32,487 --> 00:16:34,570 psst! MRS. PUFF, SPONGEBOB AGAIN. 386 00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:36,904 YOU BETTER INFORM THE DUKE THAT WE DON'T SERVE BEANS ON TOAST. 387 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,111 UGH. 388 00:16:38,236 --> 00:16:40,111 THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS. 389 00:16:40,236 --> 00:16:43,029 WOULD YOU SIMPLY EXPLAIN MY DUTIES, PLEASE? 390 00:16:43,153 --> 00:16:45,904 WHAT ARE YOU DOING YELLING AT ME CUSTOMERS? 391 00:16:46,029 --> 00:16:48,278 THE DUKE HERE IS ONE OF ME REGULARS. 392 00:16:48,403 --> 00:16:51,403 AND I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENS 393 00:16:51,528 --> 00:16:54,445 WHEN YOU START LOSING YOUR REGULARITY, DO I? 394 00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:56,487 OH, DEAR. 395 00:16:56,612 --> 00:16:58,945 MESSAGE RECEIVED, MR. KRABS. 396 00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:02,528 JUST DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN, PUFF. 397 00:17:02,653 --> 00:17:05,320 WELL, I SEE YOU HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE GETTING IN GEAR THERE, 398 00:17:05,445 --> 00:17:07,403 BUT YOU'LL BE IN THE FAST LANE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. 399 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,737 AH, HERE COMES ANOTHER CUSTOMER. 400 00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:14,320 LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN APPLY WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED. 401 00:17:14,445 --> 00:17:15,987 WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB, SIR. 402 00:17:16,111 --> 00:17:17,779 MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER? 403 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,153 YES! 404 00:17:19,278 --> 00:17:20,945 ONE KRABBY PATTY, PLEASE. 405 00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:22,445 $1, PLEASE. 406 00:17:22,570 --> 00:17:23,695 THANK YOU. 407 00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:26,029 GOOD JOB, MRS. PUFF. 408 00:17:26,153 --> 00:17:29,070 NOW, ALL THAT'S LEFT IS TO SUBMIT THE ORDER TO THE COOK. 409 00:17:29,195 --> 00:17:31,070 ONE KRABBY PATTY. 410 00:17:31,195 --> 00:17:33,070 OH, MRS. PUFF. 411 00:17:33,195 --> 00:17:34,445 WHAT? 412 00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:36,403 IT MUST HAVE SLIPPED YOUR MIND 413 00:17:36,528 --> 00:17:38,195 THAT YOU NEED TO SUBMIT THE ORDER IN WRITING AS WELL. 414 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,153 IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE MAXIMUM CLARITY. 415 00:17:40,278 --> 00:17:41,403 FINE. 416 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,445 HERE'S YOUR WRITTEN FORM. 417 00:17:43,570 --> 00:17:45,737 ONE KRABBY PATTY. 418 00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:46,862 MRS. PUFF? 419 00:17:46,904 --> 00:17:48,862 WHAT NOW? 420 00:17:48,987 --> 00:17:50,695 I CAN'T BEGIN COOKING UNTIL THE BELL HAS RUNG. 421 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:51,805 smack! 422 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,904 THANK YOU. 423 00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:55,612 ALTHOUGH A SMIDGE LESS RIGOROUS NEXT TIME, PLEASE. 424 00:17:58,904 --> 00:18:00,445 ORDER UP! 425 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:02,029 YOU'VE DONE WELL SO FAR, STUDENT. 426 00:18:02,153 --> 00:18:04,361 NOW, WE DELIVER THE ITEM TO THE CUSTOMER. 427 00:18:04,487 --> 00:18:07,029 BE CAUTIOUS, BUT SWIFT. 428 00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,862 I WOULDN'T GO THAT WAY IF I WERE YOU. 429 00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:10,070 IT'S FASTER IF YOU GO THIS WAY, MRS. P. 430 00:18:12,904 --> 00:18:14,070 LOOK OUT FOR THE BARREL. 431 00:18:14,195 --> 00:18:15,055 I'LL GIVE YOU A BAR… 432 00:18:15,070 --> 00:18:16,779 WHOA! 433 00:18:16,904 --> 00:18:19,445 WATCH FOR PEDESTRIANS. 434 00:18:19,570 --> 00:18:20,570 AH! 435 00:18:20,612 --> 00:18:22,070 thud! 436 00:18:24,528 --> 00:18:26,153 POTHOLE! 437 00:18:26,278 --> 00:18:28,070 HEY! 438 00:18:28,195 --> 00:18:31,528 LOOK OUT, MRS. PUFF. 439 00:18:34,361 --> 00:18:36,153 TIME FOR EVASIVE ACTION. 440 00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:52,361 ding! 441 00:18:55,862 --> 00:18:58,445 AND THE PATTY IS UNSCATHED. 442 00:18:58,570 --> 00:18:59,820 WAY TO GO, MRS. PUFF. 443 00:18:59,945 --> 00:19:02,320 YOUR FIRST SATISFIED CUSTOMER. 444 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:04,445 I WILL HAVE TO DEDUCT POINTS FOR THAT LANDING, THOUGH. 445 00:19:06,403 --> 00:19:08,111 THAT'S IT. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. 446 00:19:08,236 --> 00:19:10,195 THIS ISN'T WORTH IT. 447 00:19:18,445 --> 00:19:21,904 I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED ANY LONGER. 448 00:19:25,945 --> 00:19:29,320 DON'T FORGET TO READ THE NOTE. 449 00:19:29,445 --> 00:19:32,195 YOU! 450 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,403 IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU I GOT STUCK IN THIS MESS. 451 00:19:37,403 --> 00:19:39,361 UGH! 452 00:19:39,487 --> 00:19:41,070 HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. 453 00:19:41,195 --> 00:19:42,570 WELL, WELL, WELL. 454 00:19:42,695 --> 00:19:44,737 IF IT AIN'T MRS. PUFF. 455 00:19:44,862 --> 00:19:47,403 I SAW WHAT YOU DID. 456 00:19:47,528 --> 00:19:49,528 UH, YOU DID? 457 00:19:49,653 --> 00:19:50,653 YEAH. 458 00:19:50,737 --> 00:19:52,195 OH, PLEASE. 459 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,029 I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT. I SWEAR. 460 00:19:54,153 --> 00:19:55,195 IT'S TOO LATE FOR SWEARING, PUFF. 461 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,111 THE EVIDENCE IS RIGHT HERE. 462 00:19:57,236 --> 00:19:59,153 YOU LITTERED. 463 00:19:59,278 --> 00:20:01,445 AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO THE STONY LONESOME. 464 00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:02,945 LITTERED? 465 00:20:04,987 --> 00:20:07,695 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, OFFICER. 466 00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:10,653 YES, I SURE DID LITTER. 467 00:20:10,779 --> 00:20:12,612 THAT'S WHAT I DID. 468 00:20:12,737 --> 00:20:13,737 YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 469 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,195 YOU'RE UNDER ARREST NOW. 470 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,487 NO PROBLEM, OFFICER. 471 00:20:18,612 --> 00:20:21,945 TIME BY MYSELF IN THE STONY LONESOME IS JUST WHAT I NEED. 472 00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:24,403 TELL IT TO THE JUDGE, MRS. PUFF. 473 00:20:36,612 --> 00:20:37,612 ONE DAY DOWN. 474 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:41,070 2,528 TO GO. 475 00:20:41,195 --> 00:20:45,029 THAT'S JUST SHY OF FOUR YEARS WITHOUT SPONGEBOB. 476 00:20:45,153 --> 00:20:49,029 I'M GOING TO ENJOY THIS. 477 00:20:49,153 --> 00:20:51,029 GET UP, PUFF. 478 00:20:51,153 --> 00:20:53,070 THE JUDGE SAYS YOU HAVE TO GO TO TRAFFIC SCHOOL. 479 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,612 OH, WOW. 480 00:20:57,737 --> 00:21:00,111 A DRIVER'S EDUCATION CLASS. 481 00:21:00,236 --> 00:21:03,445 IT'S JUST HOW I MADE A LIVING, EXCEPT WITHOUT… 482 00:21:03,570 --> 00:21:05,403 HIM. 483 00:21:05,528 --> 00:21:06,862 OH, DELIGHTFUL. 484 00:21:06,987 --> 00:21:09,612 GOOD DAY, CLASS. 485 00:21:11,445 --> 00:21:12,820 smack! 486 00:21:12,945 --> 00:21:14,653 I MUST BE HAVING A NIGHTMARE. 487 00:21:14,779 --> 00:21:16,403 WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? 488 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,320 DIDN'T YOU READ THE NOTE, MRS. PUFF? 489 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:22,070 HERE, I TAPED IT TOGETHER AND SAVED IT JUST IN CASE. 490 00:21:22,195 --> 00:21:23,612 "DEAR MRS. PUFF. 491 00:21:23,737 --> 00:21:25,945 "I'M FOLLOWING IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS 492 00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:29,029 "AND GOT A JOB AS A DRIVER'S ED TEACHER FOR THE SUMMER. 493 00:21:29,153 --> 00:21:30,820 HEART, SPONGEBOB." 494 00:21:33,111 --> 00:21:35,153 GET ME OUTTA HERE! 495 00:21:36,653 --> 00:21:38,528 UH! OW! OH! 496 00:21:38,653 --> 00:21:42,195 YOW! YOW! AH! 497 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,445 NOW, LET'S OPEN OUR DRIVER'S ED HANDBOOKS TO CHAPTER ONE. 498 00:21:52,987 --> 00:21:55,570 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com