ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OHH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
- all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS!
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[waves crashing]
[giggling]
WHOA!
thud! OOPH!
LOOK.
ANOTHER RUBBER STOPPER
FOR MY RUBBER STOPPER COLLECTION.
[oozing]
[rumbling]
IT'S A LITTLE LAND THAT'S ALL MINE.
[sloshing]
NOW IT'S SNOWING IN MY LITTLE LAND.
[giggles]
[sloshing, Patrick giggles again]
IT'S SNOWING AGAIN.
[giggling and clapping]
[loud thud] HUH?
thud!
[thudding and squishing]
HEY.
MY LITTLE LAND MUST BE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE.
[squishing]
ROAR!
MUST HAVE BEEN AN AFTERSHOCK.
ROAR!
UH, HEY!
NO WONDER YOU'RE ANGRY.
YOU JUST GOT TO TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN.
SEE?
[questioning gurgle]
OH.
[contented gurgle]
[laughing]
[sloshing]
[both laughing]
[laughing continues]
SNOW GLOBES ARE ALWAYS FUNNY.
[sniffs]
HEY.
YOU WANT TO SMELL MY ARMPIT?
THERE YOU GO.
[sniffs]
[giggles]
[sniffs]
OOH.
THANKS.
OH, HEY,
DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY TAG?
YEAH.
NEVER PLAYED IT BEFORE, HUH?
UH, YEAH, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO EXPLAIN.
[gasps]
OH! HOW ABOUT HIDE AND SEEK?
[grumbles]
- NO, NO, NO. THIS ONE'S EASY.
YOU JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES WHILE THE OTHER GUY HIDES,
AND THEN YOU FIND HIM AND YOU WIN.
OKAY?
READY.
UH, NOW GO HIDE.
ONE, TWO, THREE
I CAN SKIP A FEW. 100.
OKAY, READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!
HEY.
WHERE'D YOU GO?
WHY ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME?
[sobbing]
THIS GAME'S HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
[grumbles]
- YOU WANT TO SMELL MY ARMPIT AGAIN?
YOU WIN AGAIN.
HEY, HEY!
YOU WANT TO GO MEET MY FRIEND SPONGEBOB?
OH, HE'S A LITTLE WEIRD,
BUT YOU GUYS WILL PROBABLY GET ALONG.
[grumbles]
- WE CAN PLAY MORE CORAL RING TOSS LATER.
[footsteps thudding]
[rattling]
DINNERTIME, GARY.
AND IT'S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR:
CRUSHED ANEMONE BY-PRODUCTS AND KRILL.
[distant thudding]
WHAT IS THAT HORRIFIC BANGING?
[thudding continues]
- PATRICK'S BEING EATEN BY A GIANT SEA MONSTER!
- HEY! HEY!
OH, HE'S CRYING OUT FOR HELP.
HEY, SPONGEBOB!
HEY! UP HERE!
LOOK!
NO HANDS! [giggles]
- GARY, THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN YESTERDAY.
EXCUSE ME.
I THINK YOUR ICE MACHINE'S BROKEN.
KEEP LOOKING.
YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE WHO CARES.
- UH, YOU'RE THE OWNER HERE, AREN'T YOU?
THAT WOULD BE ME.
[chuckles]
- WELL, I THINK YOUR ICE MACHINE MIGHT BE BROKEN.
- OOH. TRY TELLING THAT GUY OVER THERE.
EXCUSE ME.
THE ICE MACHINE'S BROKEN.
- [screaming] NO!
WHY?
[sobs] WHY?
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
[knocking at door]
PATRICK!
SPONGEBOB!
I MUST HAVE BEEN DAYDREAMING.
I SAW YOU IN THIS BIG MONSTER'S DRIPPING MAW,
AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING EATEN.
WELL, I WASN'T BEING EATEN.
THAT MONSTER IS MY FRIEND.
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO MEET HIM.
- I WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO MEET HIM.
WELL, IN THAT CASE, SPONGEBOB,
I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO...
I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO--
I FORGOT HIS NAME.
WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?
DON'T PANIC.
INTRODUCE ME FIRST.
THEN HE'LL SAY HIS NAME WHEN HE MEETS ME.
- OKAY. UM, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY FRIEND SPONGEBOB.
AND YOU ARE?
RRARRG!
NICE TO MEET YOU, MR. RRARRG!
WELL, RRARRG!
NOW THAT WE'RE FRIENDS,
I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU MY HOME.
AND THIS IS MY HOME.
WHERE IS YOUR HOME?
OH, MAYBE HE DOESN'T HAVE A HOME.
DOESN'T HAVE A HOME?
ding! HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU COULD LIVE UNDER MY ROCK IF YOU WANT, RRARRG.
[both laughing]
[all laughing]
[laughing continues]
[whooshing]
smash!
[laughter resumes]
OH, HE SMASHED YOUR HOUSE.
- YEAH. [laughing continues]
- HE'S GONNA SMASH YOUR HOUSE NOW.
[laughter continues]
HE'S GOING TO SMASH MY HOUSE?
GARY!
[grunts]
GARY!
JUMP, GARY!
- JUMP! - MEOW.
- PARACHUTE, GARY. USE YOUR PARACHUTE!
smash!
- HE'S GONNA SMASH SQUIDWARD'S PLACE NOW.
[grunting]
- UM, PATRICK, I DON'T--
[laughing]
ENCORE! [giggles]
[grunts]
smash!
[laughter]
[clapping slowly]
[sirens wailing]
[laughing, chains clinking]
OH.
[indistinct police radio chatter]
WOW.
THE POLICE HAVE ARRIVED.
- AND THEY BUILT A CUTE LITTLE FENCE AROUND RRARRG.
HI, SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE HOME EARLY.
- HOLD IT, BUDDY. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I LIVE HERE.
[both laugh]
AND WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
- OH, THE THOUGHT OF ANYONE LIVING IN A PILE OF GRAVEL.
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, SIR,
THAT MY HOME IS A...
PILE OF RUBBLE?
[screams]
SIR, DON'T YELL AT ME.
- WE DON'T WANT TO ALERT THE-- - ALERT THE WHAT?
- THAT BIG SCARY MONSTER INSIDE THE FENCE OVER THERE.
[grumbles pleasantly]
HE WAVED AT YOU, SQUIDWARD
THAT MEANS HE LIKES YOU.
HE LIKES ME?
OFFICER, ARREST ME RIGHT NOW,
BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO THROW A HORRIBLE TANTRUM
THAT NO ONE AROUND HERE WANTS TO SEE.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S DOING UP THERE?
- WHO? - THE BIG GUY.
I DON'T KNOW.
- WHAT? - I SAID, "I DON'T KNOW."
[gasping]
[sneezes]
[sneeze echoes and squeals]
[roars painfully]
[roars painfully again]
[footsteps thudding]
[moans]
HE'S ESCAPED!
- QUICK, EVERYBODY INTO THE--
QUICK, EVERYBODY INTO THE SQUAD CAR!
[whistle blows]
[loud thudding]
[smashing, glass shatters]
OH, DARN IT.
NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- WE SHALL HAVE TO CHASE HIM ON FOOT.
[growling, footsteps thudding]
[police chattering indistinctly]
IT'S HEADED STRAIGHT FOR TOWN.
[growling, footsteps thudding]
[indistinct chatter]
[skidding]
THERE! BY THE MAGAZINE STAND.
- all: OOH. - HUH?
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BUB.
THIS IS A NEWSSTAND, NOT A LIBRARY.
OKAY, ONE MORE STEP, AND I'LL SNEEZE.
WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE.
THIS IS MY FRIEND.
IF YOU WANT TO GET TO HIM,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME.
WE'RE PREPARED TO DO THAT.
ACTUALLY...
JUST LET ME TALK TO HIM FOR A MINUTE.
PSST!
YOU MEAN THAT THING CAN SPEAK?
- [scoffs] OF COURSE.
HE'S A GIANT FREAK OF NATURE,
NOT A FREAK OF NATURE THAT CAN'T SPEAK.
[indistinct whispering]
- AND SO AS THE LOWLY SNAIL SHEDDETH HIS SHELL
AND THE LOFTY GULL MOLTETH HIS FEATHERS,
THE BRIGHTEST OF FRIENDSHIPS MUST DIMMETH AS THE SETTING SUN.
- THAT WAS... [sniffs]
BEAUTIFUL.
WE STILL GOT TO RUN HIM OUT OF TOWN.
[footsteps thudding]
- IT REALLY CRUSHES MY HEART TO SEE HIM GO.
YEAH, CRUSHES.
PATRICK, CRUSHES!
THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA.
[woman yodeling]
[phone rings]
YEAH.
OKAY.
TWO CUBES, PLEASE.
smash!
YOUR ICE CUBES, SIR.
- WHAT? WHERE?
smash!
splash!
HEY. THANKS, BUDDY.
DON'T THANK ME.
THANK RRARRG.
[women singing eerily]
♪ ♪
[moans drowsily]
HEY, WHERE'S MY ALARM CLOCK?
MEOW!
[gasps]
- YOUR SHELL IS GONE TOO? - MEOW.
I THINK WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!
MEOW!
[distant screaming]
SHE'S GONE!
MY CLARINET IS MISSING.
HMM.
STRANGE INDEED.
[distant screaming]
MY CUFFLINKS!
THEY'RE MISSING!
OH, WHY?
WHY? [sobs]
- I HOPE THIS DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE'RE MISSING THE ONE THING
THAT'S NEAREST AND DEAREST TO OUR HEARTS.
NOPE, I'M RIGHT HERE.
THE KRUSTY KRAB!
- WHEW! - [grumbles]
- bang! - REPORTING FOR DUTY, MR. KRABS.
MR. KRABS?
MR. KRABS!
MR. KRABS?
PEARL? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, NOTHING, SPONGEBOB.
JUST TRYING TO JUGGLE SCHOOLWORK,
HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE,
AND RUNNING THE FAMILY BUSINESS.
THAT'S ALL.
DRAMA QUEEN.
WHERE'S YOUR DAD?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHEN I WENT TO GET MY ALLOWANCE THIS MORNING,
HE WAS GONE.
MR. KRABS IS MISSING?
I'M MISSING MY CLARINET.
AND GARY'S SHELL.
HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY CUFFLINKS?
[sinister laughter]
SO YOU LOST YOUR CUFFLINKS, EH?
THEY'RE PROBABLY IN THE BIKINI BOTTOM TRIANGLE.
THE BIKINI BOTTOM TRIANGLE?
THAT'S RIGHT.
FIRST, AN EERIE FOG ROLLS IN.
[blows raspberry]
THEN, YOU CAN HEAR
THE HYPNOTIC SONG OF THE MERMAIDS.
[warbling sloppily]
AND THEN, POOF!
YOUR CUFFLINKS ARE GONE,
NEVER TO RETURN.
POOF!
[sinister laughter]
- THE TRIANGLE MUST HAVE TAKEN MR. KRABS.
WE GOT TO FIND HIM.
- MAYBE MR. KRABS IS DOING HIS MORNING DUMPSTER DIVE
FOR LOOSE CHANGE.
MR. KRABS, ARE YOU OUT HERE?
[women singing eerily]
OH, NO.
IS THAT A MERMAID SONG?
NO, JUST A THICK EERIE FOG.
- UH-OH.
[both screaming]
SQUIDWARD.
[rattling]
COME ON, SQUIDWARD.
QUIT MESSING AROUND.
WE GOT TO FIND MR. KRA--
HEY! GUMBALLS!
[chewing]
[bubble inflating]
[grumbling]
[rumbling]
THIS IS THE BIKINI BOTTOM TRIANGLE?
LOOKS MORE LIKE A DUMP.
- COME ON, WE GOT TO FIND MR. KRABS.
THE KRUSTY KRAB NEEDS HIM.
MR. KRABS!
[clanking and groaning]
SQUIDWARD, THIS IS NO TIME FOR SEA HORSEPLAY.
OH, MY NECK.
MR. KRABS?
MR. KRABS!
WOULD YOU SHUT IT ALREADY?
- OH, SQUIDWARD, MR. KRABS IS GONE.
OH, IT HURTS SO BAD.
I CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER.
I HOPE HE'S NOT IN ANY PAIN,
WHEREVER HE IS.
I THINK HE'S DOING JUST FINE.
[moaning]
MR. KRABS, YOU GOT TO GET UP.
WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
[groans]
OKAY, TIBOR, I THINK I'M GOOD.
- REMEMBER TO DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS.
LOOK, SPONGEBOB.
YOU SEE, ALL THIS STUFF, INCLUDING YOU AND ME,
ARE BROUGHT HERE WHEN THE MERMAIDS
SING THEIR BEAUTIFUL SONG.
THE MERMAID SONG TRIGGERS THIS HERE CONTRAPTION
TO SUCK THE SKY LIKE A VACUUM,
DUMPING ALL THE CONTENTS HERE ON THIS ISLAND.
THAT IS HOW WE ENDED UP SURROUNDED BY
ALL THIS VALUABLE AND RESELLABLE STUFF.
[women singing eerily] OOH!
YIPPEE! A NEW SHIPMENT.
[sucking]
FREE STUFF,
HERE I...COME?
[rumbling and both screaming]
PRETTY NEAT, EH, BOY?
WHOO!
PATRICK!
HAVE YOU FOUND MY CUFFLINKS?
NO.
PATRICK, IS THAT A KRABBY PATTY?
YEP.
PEARL DOESN'T MAKE THEM AS GOOD AS YOU DO THOUGH.
- PEARL? - gulp!
OH, ME SWEET LITTLE GIRL.
ALL ALONE...
WITH ME CASH REGISTER!
[sobbing]
DADDY!
PEARL!
[gasps]
GET ME OUT OF THIS TRASH HEAP.
[grunting]
thud!
OH, ME LITTLE ANGEL.
THANKS, MYSTERIOUS SINGING MERMAIDS.
OH, ENOUGH WITH THE HUGGING.
THAT'S IT, MR. KRABS.
I'LL JUST FIND THE MYSTERIOUS SINGING MERMAIDS
AND ASK THEM HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE.
[gasping]
WHOA.
RIDING PIGGYBACK IS EXHAUSTING.
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
thud!
WHOA.
I LOVE THIS MIRROR, GIRLS,
BUT IT IS SO TEN MINUTES AGO.
- LIKE, I COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE.
- YEAH, LIKE, ALL THIS STUFF IS OLD NEWS.
SHALL WE, LADIES?
[all clear throats]
[mermaids singing eerily]
UH, EXCUSE ME.
HI.
UM, CAN I HELP YOU?
[giggles crudely]
- UH, YES, MERMAID LADIES, YOU ACTUALLY CAN HELP US.
[laughs crudely]
UH, YEAH.
- YEAH, WE'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE, PLEASE.
- LIKE, THIS IS THE BIKINI BOTTOM TRIANGLE.
NOTHING EVER LEAVES. DUH.
ARE YOU SURE?
- LOOK, LITTLE FREAKAZOID, WE ONLY KNOW ONE THING.
AND THAT'S HOW TO SURROUND OURSELVES WITH COOL NEW STUFF
WHENEVER WE FEEL LIKE IT.
ANYTHING BEYOND THAT IS T.N.O.P.
T. NOP?
UH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, TOTALLY NOT OUR PROBLEM.
OH, T.N.O.P.
OKAY, WELL, THANKS ANYWAY.
COME ON, PATRICK, LET'S GO.
PATRICK.
[laughs crudely]
UH, YOU GO AHEAD, SPONGEBOB.
I'M GONNA HANG WITH THE LADIES FOR A BIT.
[laughs crudely]
- COME ON. COME ON, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE.
A-HA!
PLAYING HARD TO GET, WEREN'T YOU, LITTLE ONE?
LITTLE ONE?
HOW DARE YOU, SIR!
[gasping]
UNFORTUNATELY, I WAS UNABLE TO GET THE INFORMATION--
SPONGEBOB?
SPONGEBOB, BOY-OH.
SPONGEBOB, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
SHOULD WE HELP?
HE LOOKS FINE TO ME.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER, BOY-OH?
[gasps]
YOUR KRABBY PATTY METER'S ON EMPTY!
WE GOT TO GET A KRABBY PATTY INTO YOU QUICK OR--
[mermaids singing eerily]
PLEASE, GREAT VACUUM CLEANER, GIVE US JUST ONE LITTLE...
[rumbling]
[gasps]
KRABBY PATTY.
[munching]
gulp!
[whooshing]
[explosion]
OH, YEAH!
WOW, SIR.
THAT WAS THE SINGLE BEST KRABBY PATTY I HAVE EVER EATEN.
- WHY, THANK YOU, BOY-OH,
I'M GLAD YOU-- WAIT A MINUTE.
I DIDN'T MAKE THAT KRABBY PATTY.
AND YOU DIDN'T MAKE THAT KRABBY PATTY.
AND THOSE TWO COULDN'T HAVE MADE IT,
SO IT MUST HAVE BEEN THAT ROTTEN PIPSQUEAK, PLANKTON.
I GOT TO STOP THAT POOR EXCUSE OF A LIFE FORM FROM--
SO...
HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE?
- WELL, SIR, BASED ON WHAT THE MERMAIDS TOLD ME, THERE--
THERE IS NO WAY OUT.
OH, REALLY?
WELL, I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THE LADIES.
- OH, SIR, I--
- LOOK, BOY, I GOT A WAY WITH THE LADIES.
AND I GUARANTEE THE OLD KRABS' CHARM
WILL HAVE THEM TELLING US
EXACTLY HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE.
SO THERE'S REALLY NO WAY OUT OF THIS PLACE?
'CAUSE I REALLY NEED TO GET BACK TO THE KRUSTY KRAB
AND STOP MY ARCH NEMESIS FROM RUINING ME.
T.N.O.P., GRANDPA.
T. NOP?
TOTALLY NOT OUR PROBLEM.
OH, AND P.S.,
HERE'S YOUR CREEPY PINK FRIEND BACK.
- thud! - [groans]
- DADDY! DADDY!
- DON'T WORRY, PEARL, DADDY'S OKAY.
CAN I GO TO THE MALL NOW?
THE MALL?
- BUT PEARL-- - I WANT TO GO TO THE MALL!
[sobbing]
LIKE, WHAT'S A MALL?
[sobbing stops abruptly]
WAIT. WHAT?
YOU SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT A MALL IS?
I'M SERIOUSLY SERIOUS.
- WELL, THE MALL IS, LIKE, ONLY THE MOST AWESOME PLACE
TO GET ALL THE BEST SUPER COOLEST
GLITTERISHLY FABULOUS NEW STUFF YOU WANT.
- REALLY? - NO WAY.
other mermaids: WE WANT TO GO TO THE MALL!
OH, DO YOU?
all: UH-HUH!
- NOW, HOW DO YOU PROPOSE WE DO THAT, HUH?
snap! WAIT, I KNOW.
WE JUST HIT THE MAGIC REVERSE BUTTON
ON THE GIANT VACUUM CLEANER.
THAT'S IT, SIR!
IT'S THE MERMAIDS!
- IT SURE IS-- WHAT?
- THE REVERSE SWITCH IS THE MERMAIDS.
THEY JUST NEED TO SING THEIR SONG BACKWARDS.
snap!
- YEAH! BACKWARDS.
[all clear throats]
[mermaids singing eerily]
YEAH, BACKWARDS.
WHAT A STUPID IDEA.
[rumbling] all: WHOA!
creak!
[sucking]
[all scream]
[rumbling]
crash! [clanking and clattering]
YOU READY FOR THE MALL?
all: YEAH!
MALL! MALL!
HELLO, MISERABLE LIFE.
I'M BACK.
IT'S ME DENTURES!
[muttering]
TIBOR, YOU'RE ALIVE!
ISN'T IT GREAT, MR. KRABS?
EVERYONE'S RECLAIMING THEIR STUFF.
MR. KRABS?
SPEAKING OF RECLAIMING...
ALL RIGHT, PLANKTON, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.
BUT THE JIG'S UP, YOU LITTLE CONNIVING PIPSQUEAK.
HUH?
ACTUALLY, THE NAME'S CHARLES.
FIGURED I'D HOLD DOWN THE FORT FOR YOU WHILE YOU WERE GONE.
- SO YOU'VE BEEN THE ONE MAKING KRABBY PATTIES?
- YEP. ALL ME.
OH, AND BY THE WAY,
YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE VERMIN PROBLEM.
- VERMIN? YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
HE'S A FEISTY ONE.
HEY!
I FOUND MY CUFFLINKS!
THAT'S BETTER.
GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN.
HOME, REGINALD.
- PATRICK, YOU DROPPED YOUR CUMMERBUND.
[lilting ukulele music]
♪ ♪