ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OHH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? ♪
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- ♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE ♪
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- ♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- ♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
- all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS!
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[waves crashing]
[lilting ukulele music]
♪ ♪
- HI, SQUIDWARD. WHATCHA WATCHING?
- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. - OH, IT'S A COMMERCIAL.
- THEY'RE NEW. THEY'RE...
SNAIL BITES!
OOH...
- HERE, I'LL CHANGE THE CHANNEL.
DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL!
- THAT'S RIGHT, SNAIL BITES!
- [deep voice] SNAIL BITES!
[panting]
SNAIL BITES!
- [munch] - SNAIL BITES!
SNAIL BITES!
- [munch] - SNAIL BITES!
SNAIL BITES!
SNAIL BITES.
SNAIL BITES!
- THEY'RE NEW. THEY'RE...
SNAIL BITES.
SNAIL BITES!
- [deep voice] SNAIL BITES!
both: YOUR SNAIL WILL GO NUTS FOR SNAIL BITES,
AND SO WILL YOU!
SNAIL BITES.
- DID YOU SEE THAT, SQUIDWARD?
SNAIL BITES.
GARY, I'M HOME.
OH, GARY!
YOU'VE GOT A BIG SURPRISE COMING TO YOU.
- MEOW. - SNAIL BITES!
- [box rattles] - MEOW.
THOSE SMELL GOOD?
[munching]
MEOW!
- DOES SOMEBODY WANT ANOTHER SNAIL BITE?
CAN SOMEBODY ROLL OVER? ROLL OVER.
[panting]
[munching]
WE'LL HAVE SOME MORE OF THESE A LITTLE LATER.
- MEOW. - MORE TREATS?
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
- WELL, I CAN'T SAY NO TO MY WIDDLE GARE-BEAR.
[squeaks]
[munching]
[airplane propellers droning]
[munching]
[engine revving]
- MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
- GARY, THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF SNAIL BITES FOR ONE EVENING.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT MORE?
[boing, boing, boing]
WELL, I SUPPOSE ONE MORE WOULDN'T HURT.
OOPS, LOOKS LIKE THAT WAS THAT LAST OF 'EM, GARY.
WE'RE ALL OUT.
[yawns]
IT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST.
I'M GETTING PRETTY TIRED ANYWAY.
I THINK I'LL SKIP MY NIGHTLY MOTIVATIONAL EXERCISES
AND GO STRAIGHT TO BED.
- MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
MEOW. M--
[snoring]
- MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
GARY, PLEASE!
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
- GARY WILSON JUNIOR, I PROMISE YOU
WE WILL GET YOU MORE TREATS TOMORROW!
NOW, PLEASE LET ME... SLEEP!
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!
- GARY, IT IS 4:00 IN THE MORNING!
WHAT, EXACTLY, DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
MEOW.
[cricket chirping]
GARY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
SEE? THE PET STORE WON'T BE OPEN FOR HOURS.
NOT TO MENTION IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE.
CAN'T WE JUST GO HOME AND COME BACK IN THE MORNING?
- MEOW. - WELL, I JUST CAN'T SAY NO
TO MY WIDDLE GARE-BEAR.
GOOD NIGHT, GARY. [yawns]
SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
- MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
EXCUSE ME...
- PLEASE, I'M JUST THE FLOOR MANAGER.
THE CASHIER WON'T BE HERE FOR ANOTHER HOUR.
- DO YOU HAVE ANY SNAIL BITES?
WE NEED SOME SNAIL BITES.
- MEOW. - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
THOSE SOLD OUT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY.
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
[sighs, groans]
OKAY, GARY, I'M OFF TO THE KRUSTY KRAB.
HOPE YOUR DAY WILL BE AS FUN-FILLED AS MINE.
WHOA! GARY?
YEAH, SO I WILL SEE YOU TONIGHT, GARY.
RRRRRR.
RRRRRR-RRRRR!
- GARY, IS THAT A BOX OF SNAIL BITES IN YOUR TEETH?
[nervous chuckle] THAT'S FUNNY,
BECAUSE I THINK I JUST SAW A HALF-FULL BOX IN THE KITCHEN.
[door opens, shuts]
[humming]
- MEOW. - HMM?
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
NORMALLY I'M SO SHY...
- MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. - HMM?
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
MEOW. MEOW.
- GARY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
[shouting] YOU'RE CAUSING A SCENE!
MEOW.
- I KNOW, YOU WANT MORE SNAIL BITES.
BUT THE PET STORE WAS COMPLETELY SOLD OUT OF THEM.
- MEOW. - I KNOW, GARY.
- MEOW! - GARY, I JUST SAID
THE PET STORE WAS COMPLETELY SOLD OUT OF SNAIL BITES!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
- WELL, YOU COULD TRY GOING TO THE FACTORY
WHERE THEY MAKE THEM.
THANKS A LOT.
- YOU'RE WHAT? - WE'RE CLOSED. DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?
C-S-L-O-S-Z-E-D.
CL-OOOSED!
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THE VERY LAST BOX OF SNAIL BITES
SHIPPED OUT DAYS AGO.
THEY WERE SUCH A HIT, THEY FLEW OUT OF THE STORES,
AND NOW WE'VE RUN OUT OF INGREDIENTS.
FROM WHAT I HEAR, THE OWNER EVEN DROPPED OUT
OF THE SNAIL FOOD BUSINESS ENTIRELY.
YEAH, AND WHY WOULDN'T HE, HUH?
HE'S MADE HIS MONEY.
- YOU SEE, GARY? THERE ARE NO MORE-- - I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I WOULDN'T DO THE SAME THING
IF I WERE IN HIS SHOES.
SO YOU SEE, GARY...
- WHY WOULD ANYONE GO ON PUNISHING THEMSELVES
JUST FOR THE SAKE OF THE HAPPINESS OF A FEW PETS OR--
- WOULD YOU MIND BEING QUIET FOR A SECOND, PLEASE?
SORRY.
- GARY, THEY'RE COMPLETELY SOLD OUT.
THERE ARE NO MORE SNAIL BITES LEFT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
- AND THERE NEVER WILL BE. - MEOW.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, GARY?
TRAVEL THE EARTH CHECKING EVERY PET STORE IN EXISTENCE
TO SEE IF THEY HAPPEN TO HAVE A BOX OF SNAIL BITES LEFT?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT!
MEOW.
[dramatic music, dialogue inaudible]
♪ ♪
[dialogue inaudible]
- MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
- GARY, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS MAP.
THIS IS A MAP OF EVERY PET STORE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
WE'VE BEEN TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, GARY.
AND NOT ONE OF THEM HAS THE TREATS YOU'RE AFTER.
NOT...ONE.
I CAN'T KEEP LOOKING, GARY.
I JUST CAN'T.
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW...
- HEY, SPONGEBOB. - MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW...
- YOUR SNAIL'S STILL MEOWING?
I HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH THESE SITUATIONS.
YOU'RE THE SPONGE. HE IS THE SNAIL.
YOU JUST HAVE TO SAY "NO" IN A VERY FIRM VOICE.
- BUT I DON'T WANT TO SAY NO TO MY WIDDLE GARE-BEAR.
I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY.
- WELL, YOU GOTTA BE FIRM, SPONGEBOB.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO.
WAIT, WAIT, IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
UM, YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO.
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
- BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO, PATRICK!
- NO PROBLEM, SPONGEBOB. YOU CAN PRACTICE ON ME.
PRETEND I'M GARY, AND TELL ME NO.
- NNNNNNN... I CAN'T!
YOU'RE SO CUTE!
- [panting] DO IT, SPONGEBOB!
- NNNNNN... - DO IT!
- DO IT! DO IT! DO IT... - NNNNNNN...
[weakly] NO.
- STOP IT! [sobbing]
MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW...
GARY, THIS WON'T BE EASY.
BUT THE TIME HAS COME WHEN I MUST SAY...
[gulps] NNN...NNN...NNN--
NNNN...OH, GARY! IT'S A FRAMED PHOTO
OF THE MOMENT I PICKED YOU OUT AT THE POUND.
I REMEMBER THAT DAY LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY.
OH, AND A PHOTO OF THE TIME YOU BUILT ME A CASTLE
MADE OF GLITTER AND LOLLIPOPS.
[sniffs] GARY, THIS IS THE MOST SPECIAL--
- OH. NICE TRY, GARY. - MEOW.
- GARE-BEAR, WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE.
THERE ARE NO MORE SNAIL BITES.
I'M SORRY, GARY, BUT THE ANSWER IS...NO.
MEOW.
[snoring]
- THIS LAST-KNOWN BOX OF SNAIL BITES SURE IS DELICIOUS.
HEY...IT'S EMPTY!
MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!
[trumpet fanfare]
A HORN!
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?
♪ ♪
- ATTEN-- [trumpet sustains high note]
GRRRRR...
[trumpet stops, crash]
ATTENTION, KRUSTY KRAB PATRONS.
BEHOLD!
IT'S A JAR OF SEEDS.
BUN SEEDS.
- TODAY ONLY, THE KRUSTY KRAB PRESENTS
OUR FIRST ANNUAL BUN SEED GUESSING CONTEST!
GUESS HOW MANY SEEDS ARE IN THE JAR,
AND WIN A FR--FLL--PFF-- SORRY.
A FR--FRE-- I'M TRYING TO GET--
A FR--FEEE--
FREEEE KRABBY PATTY!
all: OOH...
- STEP RIGHT UP, GUESS RIGHT, AND WIN!
THEY'LL NEVER GUESS IT.
- HMM. THREE?
NO. NEXT, PLEASE.
42?
NOPE.
[sniffing]
BILLIONS AND BILLIONS?
NNNNN...NO.
- BLUE. - NO.
- MERMAIDMAN? - THAT'S NOT EVEN A NUMBER.
AHEM. I HAVE A GUESS.
[laughs]
- PLANKTON! YOU DON'T GET TO GUESS.
- HEY! WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
IT'S NOT FAIR.
- OOH, I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S ME RESTAURANT,
AND I CAN DO WHAT I PLEASE!
BESIDES, I KNOW YOU'LL TRY TO ANALYZE THAT PATTY
AND FIND OUT ME SECRET FORMULA.
AAH...
[Plankton crying out]
[inhales]
[blows]
AAH...
[splat]
- YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, KRABS!
I'M CALLIN' THE BOGUS BUSINESS BUREAU!
- YEAH, RIGHT. LIKE THEY WOULD EVEN TAKE YOUR CALL.
[laughs]
- [phone line ringing] - BOGUS BUSINESS BUREAU.
- HELLO. YES, I HAVE A COMPLAINT.
[laughing]
THAT PLANKTON CRACKS ME UP.
LIKE THE BOGUS BUSINESS BUREAU WOULD CARE
ABOUT MY DUMB CONTEST.
[laughs, helicopter approaches]
- I AM AGENT TWERP OF THE BOGUS BUSINESS BUREAU.
ARE YOU THE PROPRIETOR OF THIS...
AHEM...ESTABLISHMENT?
- EH, UH, NO. HE'S OUT OF TOWN.
- OH, DON'T BE MODEST, MR. KRABS.
HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING AT THE KRUSTY KRAB.
- HEH HEH... NEW TRAINEE.
- ACCORDING TO ARTICLE 57 OF THE GREASY SPOON CODE,
ANY FAST FOOD CONTEST MUST BE OPEN TO ALL CUSTOMERS,
NO MATTER HOW DIMINUTIVE OR ANNOYING.
- AND I'M BOTH OF THOSE THINGS!
YOU HAVE TO LET ME GUESS NOW, KRABS.
- I WON'T DO IT, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
PFFFT!
IF YOU REFUSE,
I'LL SHUT DOWN THE KRUSTY KRAB.
OH...FINE.
- THIS ROUND GOES TO PLANKTON!
HEE HEE HEE HEE!
- GOLLY, MR. KRABS. WHAT IF PLANKTON GUESSES RIGHT
AND WINS A KRABBY PATTY?
NO WORRIES.
THAT NITWIT PLANKTON HASN'T GOT A CHANCE.
HMM...
[electric beeps]
THERE ARE EXACTLY FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND...
THREE HUNDRED...
OOH, HE'S GETTING CLOSE.
AND...ONE!
- [laughs] WRONG!
IT'S FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND NONE!
YOU ARE ONE OVER THE MARK. YOU LOSE.
[laughs]
- HOLD ON. IT'S NOT OFFICIAL UNLESS YOU COUNT THEM.
- HA HA HA HA! YEAH!
500,298, 500,299...
500,300.
I WIN!
[laughs]
- EH...PFFFT! - HOLD ON.
THERE'S SOMETHING ON THE LID.
YOU MISSED A BUN SEED, MR. KRABS.
PLANKTON WAS RIGHT.
YES!
- I NOW COMMAND YOU TO GIVE MR. PLANKTON
HIS PRIZE.
YOU HEARD HIM, KRABS.
GIVE ME A KRABBY PATTY.
- I CAN'T. - WHAT?
- SPONGEBOB NEEDS TO CLEAN THE GRILL FIRST.
I CLEANED IT THIS MORNING.
- EHH, DOESN'T YOUR SPATULA NEED ALIGNING OR SOMETHING?
- NOPE, SHE'S PERFECTLY ALIGNED.
DRAT YOUR EFFICIENCY!
UH, HEH HEH... OH, YEAH!
I CAN'T SERVE YOUR PATTY UNTIL AFTER THE SHOW.
WHAT SHOW?
THE SHOW THAT COMES
WITH THE FREE KRABBY PATTY. SEE?
- OH, COME ON! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- IT CLEARLY SAYS "AND A SHOW.",
I'LL ALLOW IT.
DRAT!
IS THIS PART OF "THE SHOW"?
- NO, THIS ISN'T PART OF THE SHOW.
- HMM. SUCH LOVELY FILIGREE.
- WOULDN'T YOU AGREE? - EHH!
PUPPETS!
- ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A HAPPY PATTY LADDIE.
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LAAA ♪
HE WAS BELOVED BY ALL
THE GOOD-HEARTED PEOPLE OF THE WORLD.
ALAS, THERE IS ALSO A VILLAIN IN THIS STORY
BY THE NAME OF PL-- FLANKTON!
BOO! HISS!
- SO ONE DAY, WHEN THE LAD WAS MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS,
FLANKTON STRUCK AND TOOK A HUGE BITE
OUT OF THE LADDIE'S FACE.
AAH! AAH!
AAH! OH MY FACE!
OH, MY FACE!
- OH, MY... - OKAY, WE GET IT ALREADY!
UNFORTUNATELY FOR FLANKTON,
THE PATTY DIDN'T SIT WELL WITH HIM,
AND HE WAS SO EVIL,
IT CAUSED HIM TO BLOAT SOMETHING FIERCE...
UNTIL EVENTUALLY, HE POPPED.
THE END.
OH, BRAVO! BRAVO.
WHY DOES THE PUPPET GET TO EAT A CRABBY PATTY
AND I DON'T?
AND WHY AREN'T YOU IN THE KITCHEN
COOKING MY PATTY?
ALL RIGHT, SPONGEBOB,
WE CAN'T STALL THEM ANY LONGER.
MAKE A GOOD ONE, LADDIE.
THIS MAY BE THE LAST PATTY YOU'LL EVER COOK.
- I'LL DO MY BEST, SIR. [crying]
PSST. I GOT A PLAN.
YOU KEEP THAT BLASTED BUREAUCRAT BUSY.
- UH, EXCUSE ME, MR. AGENT, SIR,
WHILE WE'RE WAITING,
PERHAPS I COULD DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION
TO...OH...TO THE MANY CODE VIOLATIONS YOU'LL FIND
IF YOU TURN THIS WAY-- IT'S A DEATH TRAP.
[grunting]
THERE WE GO. [toilet flushes]
WHEW. THAT TAKES CARE OF THAT.
AND IN THREE, TWO, ONE...
- MR. KRABS! - SPONGEBOB.
- MR. KRABS, IT'S AWFUL! WE'RE ALL OUT OF BUNS.
NO BUNS?
DRAT THE LUCK!
- GOT A DELIVERY FOR THE KRUSTY KRAB. WHERE DO YOU WANT I SHOULD PUT THESE BUNS?
- HA! GOOD THING I ORDERED US EXTRA, BU--
FOR THE CONTEST...CROWD.
[inhales]
[playing Taps]
♪ ♪
FINALLY, AT LONG LAST!
THE KRABBY PATTY IS MINE!
GO AHEAD AND WRAP THAT UP, SON.
I'LL TAKE IT TO GO.
- ONE KRABBY PATTY TO GO. HERE YOU ARE.
OH, NO YOU DON'T!
YOU HAVE TO EAT IT ON THE PREMISES.
THEM'S THE RULES.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS.
- SO? - OKAY, OKAY, I WILL!
AAAUUU...
I BID YOU GOOD DAY, SIR.
- YOU GOTTA SWALLOW IT HERE, ON THE PREMISES.
OH, COME ON.
I'LL ALLOW IT.
FINE!
[gulp, panting]
CAN I GO NOW?
YAAAAAAH!
EEEEEEHHH!
KAREN, QUICK!
YOU GOTTA CUT THIS KRABBY PATTY OUT OF ME, STAT!
- BUT WHAT ABOUT ANESTHETIC?
- THERE'S NO TIME. I CAN FEEL IT DIGESTING.
- WHATEVER YOU SAY, DEAR. HOLD STILL.
- THIS MAY PINCH A LITTLE. - AAAAAAAH!
- UH, MR. KRABS? - WHAT IS IT, LAD?
TAKE A LOOK.
- KEEP IT MOVING. NICE AND ORDERLY.
- HEY, EUGENE, YOU WANT A FREE KRABBY PATTY?
JUST GUESS HOW MANY CUSTOMERS I CAN FIT INTO THE CHUM BUCKET! - AAH!
I FEEL TERRIBLE.
THE PATTY TASTES LIKE STOMACH ACID.
[gags]
- YEAH, IT TASTES LIKE ASPIRIN AND CARROTS!
UGH! GET IT OFF. GET IT OFF!
[all screaming]
WAIT. COME BACK!
OH, COME ON, KAREN! WHAT HAPPENED?
- I JUST DID WHAT YOU ASKED.
I ANALYZED THE CONTENTS OF YOUR STOMACH,
AND USED THEM TO SYNTHESIZE A KRABBY PATTY.
[laughs]
IT WARMS ME HEART TO SEE THAT LITTLE TWERP FAIL.
OKAY, BOY-O, FUN TIME'S OVER.
NOW GO FISH THEM BUNS OUT OF THE TOILET.
OH, YEAH, AND PUT THESE SEEDS BACK ON 'EM.
- THAT'S MY KRABS! [laughs]