1 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,741 - Are you ready, kids? 2 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,476 All: Aye, aye, captain! 3 00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:13,011 - I can't hear you. 4 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,913 All: Aye, aye, captain! 5 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,348 - ♪ ohh... ♪ 6 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,984 ♪ who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪ 7 00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:21,619 All: Spongebob squarepants! 8 00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:24,055 - ♪ absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪ 9 00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,356 All: Spongebob squarepants! 10 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,059 - ♪ if nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪ 11 00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:29,060 All: Spongebob squarepants! 12 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:31,830 - ♪ then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪ 13 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,965 All: Spongebob squarepants! - Ready? 14 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:36,100 All: Spongebob squarepants! 15 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,036 Spongebob squarepants! 16 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,138 Spongebob squarepants! 17 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,372 - ♪ spongebob ♪ 18 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,741 ♪ squarepants! ♪ 19 00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:46,277 [laughing] 20 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:48,479 ♪ ♪ 21 00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:50,381 [waves crashing] 22 00:00:52,418 --> 00:00:55,687 [upbeat ukulele music] 23 00:00:55,689 --> 00:01:00,992 ♪ ♪ 24 00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:05,830 [spongebob inhaling] 25 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:08,867 - Spongebob, how about more krabby patties 26 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,101 And less heavy breathing? 27 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:12,804 - [humming words through closed mouth] 28 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:13,972 [exhales] 29 00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,441 - [gulps air] 30 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:17,108 - Wow! 31 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,544 That's the longest I've held my breath! 32 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:20,645 Three whole seconds! 33 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:23,181 I'm gonna try for five seconds next! 34 00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,549 [big inhale] 35 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:28,286 - Keep that up and you'll lose consciousness... 36 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:29,654 Tentacles crossed. 37 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,623 - [through held breath] silly squidward. 38 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,224 I'm not gonna-- 39 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:38,329 - What's goin' on around here? 40 00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:40,231 - [groggy babbling] 41 00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:43,935 - Well, I could be askin' you the same thing, boy! 42 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:44,736 - Sorry, mr. Krabs. 43 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:48,006 I was merely emulating my latest media obsession... 44 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,541 [sing-songy] kenny the cat! 45 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:51,609 - "kenny the cat"? 46 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,312 What in clam's name is a "the cat"? 47 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,513 - He's the greatest undersea athlete 48 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,715 To originate from above the wet 'n' briny! 49 00:01:57,717 --> 00:01:59,684 And he's been shattering records all over, 50 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,986 Holding his breath as he walks the ocean floor. 51 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,188 I want to be just like kenny the cat! 52 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:07,892 [inhales] 53 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:08,793 That's what he does. 54 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,195 He walks like that and holds his breath like that! 55 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:12,397 Kenny is a sensationality! 56 00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:16,200 Haven't you noticed my recent lettuce customizations? 57 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:17,201 - No. 58 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,270 - And you haven't perused my collection 59 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,238 Of kenny the cat periodicals? 60 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:24,409 Or noticed kenny on every tv channel known to fishkind? 61 00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:25,043 - Uh, no. 62 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,244 - But what about the kenny the cat blimp, 63 00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:28,780 Which hovers over kenny the cat sports stadium? 64 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,648 - Never noticed it. - Huh. 65 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,317 You haven't seen him in your wallet? 66 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,718 - [gasps] me wallet? 67 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,154 What's he been doin' in there? 68 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,222 - Oh, he's on all the new $50 bills. 69 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:41,693 - Oh, that kenny the cat! 70 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,161 Well, he's a sensationality! 71 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,130 - Yeah! And he's visiting bikini bottom tomorrow, 72 00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:48,900 With hundreds of his rabidly loyal fans! 73 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,001 - Hundreds, you say? 74 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,269 - Maybe even a thousand! 75 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:52,537 [cash register dings] 76 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:53,404 - Say, kiddo, 77 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:56,808 Why don't you see if you can't get ol' kenny 78 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,009 And his throng of fans 79 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,979 To visit the ol' krusty krab for a while? 80 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,982 - I shall do my krustiest, sir! 81 00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:07,285 [humming] 82 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,553 - [gasps] spongebob! 83 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,555 Don't you want your water helmet? 84 00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:11,389 - [chuckles] 85 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:12,357 Not necessary, sandy. 86 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,360 Like my personal hero, kenny the cat, 87 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,894 I'm a-okay! 88 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:20,999 [gasps for air] 89 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,167 - Well, if you ain't gonna use your helmet, 90 00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:25,203 I suggest you make it quick, spongebob. 91 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,204 - Ah! 92 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:26,871 Hey, sandy, 93 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,040 You're kind of like a cat, aren't you? 94 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,475 - Cat? 95 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,910 In what way am I "kind of like a cat"? 96 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:34,345 - Well, aren't cats and squirrels 97 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,580 Basically the same thing? 98 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:36,647 - We are both mammals, 99 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:40,051 But that is where the similarities end! 100 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,220 Cats are no-good scoundrels, 101 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,522 And I ain't never trusted one of 'em! 102 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:45,790 - Well, you can trust kenny the! 103 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:48,359 He's the heroic cat who's been holding his breath 104 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:49,160 For days at a time! 105 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,963 - I hate to precipitate on your party, spongebob, 106 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,364 But that is impossible! 107 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:56,300 No air breather could ever do that! 108 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:56,968 Not even me! 109 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,737 - Very well, sandra, if that is your stance, 110 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:00,638 Then so be it. 111 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:01,839 Could someone be jealous 112 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:05,710 Of kenny's dazzling lung capacity? 113 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:09,514 Both: Kenny the cat! Kenny the cat! 114 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:10,214 Kenny the cat! 115 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:14,252 - You do know that kenny won't be here until 10:00? 116 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:14,886 - Uh-huh. 117 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,354 - Tomorrow morning. - Uh-huh, yeah. 118 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:20,191 14 hours is cutting it close, but I had to work all day! 119 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,025 - Hopeless. 120 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,528 - You know, I read in kenny fancy magazine 121 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,096 That he's so used to holding his breath, 122 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:28,166 That when he's topside, he forgets to breathe! 123 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,133 - Wow! [laughs] 124 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:32,370 Well, that'd be like me forgetting to-- 125 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:34,205 [gasps] 126 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,139 [sighs with relief] 127 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:38,376 There you are, pocket taco! 128 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,078 [munching] 129 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,145 [swallows] 130 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:41,712 - Ahh. 131 00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:43,247 Patrick, have you ever gazed 132 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:44,248 Up into the starry night 133 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,350 And seen kenny the cat's face? 134 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,051 - No. 135 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,087 - Find the grouper constellation 136 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,556 And the dorsal constellation, 137 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:52,890 Then squint your eyes 138 00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:56,127 And let the details fall into place. 139 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,361 - Uh... 140 00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:58,563 Oh. 141 00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,564 I don't see it. 142 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:03,234 Kenny's really gotten into your head lately. 143 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,136 - Yeah. Kenny's awesome. 144 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,337 Hey! That reminds me! 145 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:10,441 Let's paint our faces to look like kenny! 146 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,210 [humming] 147 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:12,743 Perfect! 148 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:14,979 We're the biggest kenny the cat fans ever! 149 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,882 - This, uh, is getting creepy. 150 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,450 - Hey, buddy, check it out! 151 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:20,885 - Sweet neptune! 152 00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:23,654 Hey, spongebob, I'm gonna go now. 153 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,290 Your obsession with kenny is getting weird. 154 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:27,492 - But you didn't even get to see 155 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,727 My new kenny the cat temporary tattoo! 156 00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:30,828 - Oh, that's okay. 157 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:31,596 See ya, spongebob! 158 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,631 - Well, I guess it's plain to see 159 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:37,001 Who the true kenny the cat fan is! 160 00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:38,503 [alarm rings and meows] 161 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,472 10:00! Kenny time! 162 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,807 - Ladies and gentlemen, 163 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,476 Now is the time you've all been waiting for! 164 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:49,814 Kenny the cat will do his signature walk! 165 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,649 [cheering] 166 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:52,483 - Kenny! 167 00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:54,318 [marker squeaks] - thanks, kenny! 168 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,753 - Kenny, sir, it would mean a lot 169 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:58,389 If you'd sign my official kenny the cat spatula. 170 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,725 [marker squeaks] thanks, kenny. 171 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,293 You're so real. 172 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,961 [kenny's stomach growls] 173 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:04,996 Oh, you're hungry? 174 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,964 What do you say we move this autograph session 175 00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,332 To the krusty krab? 176 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,267 [ding] 177 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,768 [babbles] 178 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,003 Did you see that? 179 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:12,770 Kenny just gave me 180 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,840 His trademark a-okay hand sign! 181 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,976 Swoon! Swoon! 182 00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,411 [excited chatter] 183 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:23,414 - One at a time! One at a time, please! 184 00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:24,849 Kenny the cat will have time 185 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,218 To meet each and every one of youse. 186 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,653 And I will have time to take 187 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:31,355 Each and every one of your dollars! 188 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:32,056 Look at meself! 189 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,259 I'm not being a very good host! 190 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:35,960 Uh, excuse me! 191 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,129 You just make yourself at home, kenny! 192 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,198 I mean, "mister the cat"! 193 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,868 Here ya go. Condiments, on the house! 194 00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,203 Don't tell anybody! 195 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:49,373 Welcome to the krusty krab family. 196 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,576 [chuckles] 197 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,312 - Mister the cat, everything okay? 198 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:57,014 - [grunting] 199 00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:59,450 - Say, mr. Krabs, it's gonna be a long day for kenny. 200 00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,385 How about we give him a minute to freshen up? 201 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:04,021 - What an excellent idea, spongebob. 202 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:07,091 A clean cat is a moneymaking cat, 203 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:07,792 I always say. 204 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:11,562 Please avail yourself of the lounge facilities. 205 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:14,765 - Well, I best get back to manning the grill. 206 00:07:17,269 --> 00:07:21,138 - This gets real uncomfortable after awhile. 207 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,807 [inhales] 208 00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,542 [gargling] 209 00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:26,811 - Sorry to bother you, mister the cat. 210 00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,546 I just thought you'd like a bite to-- 211 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:29,447 Whoa! 212 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,781 - [inhales] 213 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,417 [exhales] 214 00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:34,118 - [trembling] 215 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,721 - Good thing I got this oxygen tank and mask, 216 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,123 Otherwise there's no way I'd be able 217 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,692 To hold my breath this long. 218 00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:45,263 - [trembling] 219 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,998 How could you, kenny? 220 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,499 You broke my heart. 221 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,968 Here I was this entire time believing your act, 222 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:54,505 Only to discover that it was nothing but an act. 223 00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:57,108 - But it's not what you think. 224 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,377 - There's no room for thoughts now-- 225 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,712 Only for tears. No! 226 00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:04,215 - Spongebob, wait! 227 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,050 Whoa. 228 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,718 [inhales deeply] 229 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,022 - I can't believe I fell for such a phony. 230 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,823 [sniffles] oh, well. 231 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:13,624 Time to move on. 232 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,359 I guess I don't need my kenny the cat 233 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:18,362 Fan club membership card anymore... 234 00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:21,032 Or these kenny the cat posters. 235 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,733 Oh, kenny, how could you? 236 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:25,069 [crying] you were my idol. 237 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,405 You know, I should really talk about this with someone 238 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,407 Or I might get depressed. 239 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:33,177 - Spongebob, please, let me explain. 240 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:36,080 I'm just a cat with a dream-- 241 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:39,383 A dream to give the gift of hope. 242 00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:43,688 See, above water, I'm a nobody-- 243 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,990 Just another annoying cat. 244 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:49,593 But down here, I'm someone special, 245 00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:52,163 Someone who can make people happy. 246 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,865 And if making the world a happier place 247 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,901 Makes me a criminal... 248 00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,002 [crying] 249 00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:02,239 Then lock me up and throw away the key. 250 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,675 Have mercy! 251 00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:05,343 [whimpering] 252 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,444 - All right, kenny, all right. 253 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,912 I promise I won't tell anyone. 254 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,081 - Really? - Yes, really. 255 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,549 - All right! 256 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,350 Thanks, bub. 257 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:15,219 You're the best friend I ever had. 258 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,755 Now if you'll excuse moi, 259 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,825 I gotta sign some autographs. 260 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,961 - Ah, the cat of the hour is back. 261 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,464 [cheers and applause] 262 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:30,434 All right. You ready to sign for these fine dollars-- 263 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:31,469 I mean, uh, suckers-- 264 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,337 I mean, uh, some autographs. 265 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:35,373 [cheers and applause] 266 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,207 Well, all righty then. 267 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:39,677 That's what the consuming public wants to hear. 268 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,112 - Sir, I just wanna say that 269 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,213 You're the biggest inspiration 270 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,014 Myself and my friends have ever known. 271 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:45,549 Your ability to hold your breath 272 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,918 Has changed our lives forever. 273 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,588 [all grunting] 274 00:09:51,456 --> 00:09:53,791 - "you're welcome. I've been holding my breath 275 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,626 "for more than 20 years, no problem. 276 00:09:55,628 --> 00:10:00,364 You can too, signed kenny the breath-holding cat." 277 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:01,065 - Hi, kenny. 278 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,466 Mind if I get your signature? 279 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:03,934 Gee, it sure is nice to meet another 280 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:07,138 Air-breathing, warm-blooded varmint down here. 281 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,038 - Mm-hmm. 282 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,107 - Just out of scientific curiosity, 283 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,743 How do you hold your breath for so long? 284 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:13,844 - Uh, we needn't burden ourselves 285 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:16,781 With such needless scientific technicalities, sandy. 286 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,482 - I'm just wondering, spongebob. 287 00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:21,585 I mean, he does defy all scientific logic, 288 00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:24,054 Considering the fact that all air-breathing mammals 289 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,990 Need oxygen to the brain and lungs 290 00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:28,726 To survive for more than three minutes. 291 00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:31,028 - Hey, maybe we should show our fine guest 292 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,630 A little more hospitality, hm? 293 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,698 - What has gotten into you, spongebob? 294 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,435 Can't I talk about what must surely be happening 295 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,537 From a biological standpoint? 296 00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,539 I mean, like, the lack of oxygen 297 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,208 Will tighten the capillaries in the lungs, 298 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,811 Causing a dangerous level of carbon monoxide 299 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,880 To rise in the bloodstream, which in turn 300 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,750 Leads to a ghostly blue color to the skin, 301 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,719 Followed by eventual unconsciousness. 302 00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:57,988 - I can't take it! 303 00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:01,725 I need oxygen! 304 00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:04,662 [all gasp] 305 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,363 [inhales deeply] 306 00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:07,665 Ahh. 307 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,867 - I knew kenny was a fake. 308 00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:12,069 [all grumbling] 309 00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,304 - Liar! 310 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,672 - No! Come back. 311 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:18,509 Ah, thanks a lot, you air-breathing charlatan. 312 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:23,380 And you can forget about these free condiments too. 313 00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:24,315 - Gee, kenny. 314 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,884 I sure am sorry if I ruined your career. 315 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,819 - Aw, it's okay, spongebob. 316 00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:32,356 Maybe the whole shamble is a big wake-up call 317 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,191 To be honest. 318 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,659 - Hey, I got an idea. 319 00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:37,561 Most cats hate water, right? 320 00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:40,064 Well, you can be the cat that likes water. 321 00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,066 That way, you're still special. 322 00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:43,934 - I like it! 323 00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:46,437 - Just get out of here already. 324 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:50,875 You can never trust a cat-- or is it a dog? 325 00:12:03,755 --> 00:12:05,122 - [snoring] 326 00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,258 [mumbles] 327 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,526 [snoring] 328 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,594 - Squidward! - Aah! 329 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:11,428 What is your problem? 330 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:14,131 - My problem is that you aren't working, 331 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:17,268 Which means I lose m-u-n-e-e, 332 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,838 Which means you lose your j-o-b. 333 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:21,605 - Remind me again. 334 00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:24,008 Is that good news or bad news? 335 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,376 - Tentacles, I mean it. 336 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,012 You get back to mindin' that register. 337 00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:30,180 - Minding it for which customer? 338 00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:31,515 [crickets chirping] 339 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:32,316 - I see your point. 340 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,051 But still, I'm not paying you 341 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,086 To dream sweet nothings. 342 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,254 Do something. 343 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,923 Pick up a mop, a broom, 344 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,659 A window wiper, a spatula even. 345 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:44,328 - Spongebob's got that covered. 346 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:50,000 - [humming] 347 00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,004 [gasps] dust specks on the window! 348 00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:57,107 Don't worry, boss man, I got it covered. 349 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,909 [squeegee squeaks] 350 00:12:58,911 --> 00:12:59,710 That's better. 351 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:03,614 Ooh, sounds like the dishes are done soaking. 352 00:13:05,884 --> 00:13:06,584 [humming] 353 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:10,321 - That's a perfect example of what I'm talking about-- 354 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,755 Stayin' busy. 355 00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:14,925 - I was busy, trying to forget about this place 356 00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,026 Till you woke me up. 357 00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,762 - Okay, have it your way, squidward. 358 00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,130 Since you can't be bothered 359 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,799 To take the initiative yourself, 360 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,302 It's clear I must assign tasks to you. 361 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,938 Hm. Mr. Squidward, scrub the walls 362 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:31,375 Of the krusty krab till they gleam. 363 00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:34,912 - Already done, sir. 364 00:13:35,914 --> 00:13:37,648 - Oh, well, that's very nice, boy. 365 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,049 Thank you. But, you see, 366 00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:41,251 I'm trying to give squidward a task. 367 00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:44,655 - Hm. Well, the smoke duct needs sweeping. 368 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,890 - Excellent idea, mr. Squarepants. 369 00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:50,194 Squidward, I'd like you to sweep-- 370 00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,363 [banging] 371 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,631 - Done and dusted. 372 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,498 [wheezes] 373 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,669 - Nice working conditions, but no thanks. 374 00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,670 - Ooh, is that so? 375 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,639 Perhaps you'd prefer scraping the gum 376 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,374 Off the underside of these tables. 377 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:07,578 - Oh, a restaurant employee handling chewed bubblegum? 378 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,847 That's gotta violate a lot of health codes. 379 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:13,150 - Not if you wear gloves, it doesn't. 380 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:16,153 Mind if I take this to patrick after work, mr. Krabs? 381 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:18,255 - I guess spongebob has a handle 382 00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,690 On all the krusty krab duties. 383 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:24,128 Which leaves you with all the extracurriculars-- 384 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,530 Like shining me shoes. 385 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,732 - Sorry. All out of polish. 386 00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:30,834 - But I'm not. 387 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:35,372 - Wash me boat! 388 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,776 - [singing] 389 00:14:40,178 --> 00:14:40,978 - Listen, squidward. 390 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,380 I'm gonna get a full day's work out of you, 391 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,415 One way or another. 392 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:47,017 - It doesn't matter what you want me to do, 393 00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:48,519 I won't do it. 394 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:49,520 - [growls] 395 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,288 [chuckles] oh, yeah? 396 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,056 Fine. 397 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,490 If you refuse to work, 398 00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:56,260 Then I can't be held responsible. 399 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:59,563 - Responsible for what, mr. Krabs? 400 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,265 - For... 401 00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,200 For... 402 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:09,106 A visit from the yeti crab! 403 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:11,275 - [gulp] the yeti crab? 404 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:11,809 - Yeah. 405 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:15,245 Everybody's heard of the abominable yeti crab-- 406 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:20,117 With his long white hair and six-pack abs 407 00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:22,319 And yellow teeth. 408 00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,821 And everybody knows that he only 409 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:26,090 Comes out of his mountain cave 410 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:30,427 To feed on lazy workers. 411 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,529 He's attracted to the scent. 412 00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:36,266 He can smell your lazy, lazy stench 413 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:39,236 From hundreds of miles away. 414 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:39,937 - Aah! Aah! Aah! 415 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,438 Oh, wait. What am I worried about? 416 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,974 I'm a hardworking self-motivated sponge. 417 00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:46,110 - Yes, but that won't make any difference. 418 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,646 Because of your proximity to squidward's laziness, 419 00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:52,449 You will be eaten. - [gasps] 420 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,252 Squidward and I are as close as brothers. 421 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:56,053 - Ludicrous. 422 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:56,954 - You won't think so 423 00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:00,657 When that big hairy feller wants to eat ya. 424 00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:01,825 [chuckles] 425 00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:03,994 Yeah, now listen up, boys. 426 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,797 Boss man krabs is steppin' out for a minute, 427 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,299 But I want this tub of laundry done 428 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,901 Before I get back. 429 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:11,435 Or-- 430 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,705 - Or the yeti crab will smell our laziness and eat us. 431 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:15,939 - Precisely. 432 00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:17,708 See ya, boys. 433 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:18,408 - Whatever. 434 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:19,777 - Squidward, what are you doing? 435 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,379 [sniffs] oh, no. Your lack of work is taking on an odor. 436 00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:24,915 - You're sure it's not these you're smelling? 437 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,583 - If the yeti crab catches wind of it, 438 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:30,687 He's gonna, you know, eat us. 439 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,089 - Oh, come on, spongebob. 440 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:36,260 Krabs's yeti story is a complete and total crock. 441 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,227 - [gasps] squidward! 442 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,530 Mr. Krabs would never make up something like that. 443 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:43,300 - You can believe in whatever garbage you want to, 444 00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,169 Just do it away from me. 445 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,372 Now run along and wash krabs's undies. 446 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:51,074 - You got it, squidward. 447 00:16:52,377 --> 00:16:56,280 Anything to keep that yeti crab at bay. 448 00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:01,618 [tumbling] 449 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,629 - [sniffs, grunts] 450 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,101 [sniffs] 451 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,304 [roars] 452 00:17:21,906 --> 00:17:23,607 [sniffs] 453 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:31,048 [sniffs, growls] 454 00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:37,054 - Let me out of here, you hairy brute. 455 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,823 I can find my own food. 456 00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:42,459 - [growls] 457 00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:44,094 [sniffs] 458 00:17:44,096 --> 00:17:46,396 [chuckles] 459 00:17:47,165 --> 00:17:49,533 - Good day, sir. Are you yeti to order? 460 00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:50,601 [yelps] 461 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,835 Oh, squidward! 462 00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,203 - What, what, what? Huh? 463 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,738 - You are not gonna believe this. 464 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,506 There's a yeti crab at table seven, 465 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:58,942 And he is sniffing out the lazy. 466 00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:00,777 - [chuckles] of course he is. 467 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:01,812 Nice costume, eugene. 468 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:05,449 Couldn't you at least had it dry-cleaned or pressed? 469 00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,885 - [roars] 470 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,953 - Didn't brush this morning, did we? 471 00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:11,622 - Please don't eat us, mr. Yeti. 472 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:12,489 We're not lazy. 473 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,825 - Oh, yes, I am. - Oh, boy. 474 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,026 I'll have to work twice as hard 475 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,896 To make up for squidward's laziness. 476 00:18:21,499 --> 00:18:23,233 [chuckles nervously] 477 00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:24,368 A wobbly table? 478 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:27,838 Oh, we can't have that. 479 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,042 [grunts] come on. 480 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,710 No. Here. 481 00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:35,379 - [growls] 482 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,782 - There, perfect. 483 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:39,416 Yikes! 484 00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:41,919 Time to top off the mustard. 485 00:18:45,256 --> 00:18:47,190 [grunting] 486 00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:47,991 See, I'm busy. 487 00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:49,593 I'm organizing the spice racks... 488 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,528 By color. - [grunting] 489 00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:55,098 - Ooh. 490 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,567 - [sneezes] 491 00:18:58,770 --> 00:18:59,937 - I guess while I'm down here, 492 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,706 I'll hit the ol' grease traps again. 493 00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,675 [grunting] 494 00:19:10,581 --> 00:19:13,483 Ahh. 495 00:19:15,286 --> 00:19:16,219 - [sniffs] 496 00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:19,957 - Aah! I'm not lazy. Don't eat me. 497 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,025 - [roars] 498 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:24,661 - I'm sorry, mr. Yeti crab. 499 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:25,362 - [sighs] 500 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:29,399 I almost feel sorry for the little nimrod. 501 00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:31,902 What the-- do you mind? 502 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,471 - Sorry, squidward, just varnishing the ceiling. 503 00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:37,274 - Oh, I hope you're happy, mr. Krabs. 504 00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:38,575 You're driving him insane. 505 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:39,676 - [growls] - yeah, yeah, yeah. 506 00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,945 You'll eat me if I'm lazy, whatever. 507 00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,147 - [roars] 508 00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:46,683 [welding sparks] 509 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:50,253 - Not the home and garden section! 510 00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:51,555 Spongebob? 511 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:52,489 - Huh? Oh, sorry. 512 00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:54,758 Just making sure all the rivets are securely welded. 513 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,161 - Spongebob, we have no customers today. 514 00:19:58,163 --> 00:19:59,863 Ergo, we have nothing to do, 515 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,932 No matter what that buffoon wants you to think. 516 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,034 - [shushes] squidward, he might hear you. 517 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,502 Don't worry, mr. Yeti crab. 518 00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,337 We have plenty to do. 519 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:08,972 I can replenish the toilet paper. 520 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,674 And redecorate mr. Krabs's office. 521 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,810 And refold the napkins into origami figures. 522 00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:15,045 Knit straw cozies. 523 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,114 Clean the soap. Replane the grill. 524 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,716 Washing inside the walls. 525 00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,719 Sucking up every dust particle in the restaurant. 526 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,288 [vacuum whirring] 527 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,724 - Have you lost it, spongebob? 528 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:28,692 - Lost it? 529 00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:29,793 [laughs nervously] 530 00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:33,797 Lost it? What a silly thing to say. 531 00:20:34,665 --> 00:20:36,366 Aah! 532 00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:37,000 - [sighs] 533 00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:41,138 Guess I'm down to the comics section. 534 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,607 - Squidward! 535 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:44,374 You were right. 536 00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:46,343 There's no more work to do. 537 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,646 I have done it all... 538 00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:50,947 - [roars] 539 00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:55,152 - Which means he is gonna eat us! 540 00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,887 - That does it. 541 00:20:56,889 --> 00:21:01,058 I have had it with this ridiculous ruse. 542 00:21:03,194 --> 00:21:07,697 Using fear to prey on a feeble mind. 543 00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:12,235 Even spongebob doesn't deserve that. 544 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:14,971 Enjoy spooking the witless, eh, krabs? 545 00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:18,909 Well, we'll just see how you like it. 546 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,644 [grunts] 547 00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:21,745 - [growling] 548 00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:22,379 - [roars] 549 00:21:22,381 --> 00:21:26,883 See? I can dress up as a convincing yeti crab too. 550 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,386 - [roars] 551 00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:31,721 - T-t-two yeti crabs? 552 00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:35,025 [whimpers] 553 00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:35,692 [grunts] 554 00:21:35,694 --> 00:21:38,695 - Take off that phony suit, mr. Krabs. 555 00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:40,697 You're not fooling anybody. 556 00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:42,232 - I'm back, fellers. 557 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:43,733 - Sorry, mr. Krabs. I'm a little busy 558 00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:46,970 Trying to pull off this stupid mask of yours. 559 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,071 - Uh, squidward? 560 00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:49,940 - What? Oh. 561 00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:53,443 [screams] 562 00:21:56,414 --> 00:21:59,149 - We're as good as yeti food. 563 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,517 I blame squidward. 564 00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:03,720 - Guys, do you hear that? 565 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:05,689 - You mean the sound of my own flesh 566 00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:06,756 Sizzling to a crisp? 567 00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:10,360 - No, I'm talking about the sound of a hungry customer. 568 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:12,329 He doesn't wanna eat us for being lazy. 569 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,232 He wants to eat us because he's hungry. 570 00:22:15,234 --> 00:22:18,435 Fellas, leave this to me. 571 00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:28,879 - [sniffs] 572 00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:30,213 [chuckles] 573 00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:31,648 - Way to go, boy. 574 00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:33,083 He loves it. 575 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:33,917 [cash register dings] 576 00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:36,153 And look, he's a paying customer. 577 00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:39,656 Come back and see us anytime, mr. Yeti crab. 578 00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:42,325 Hey, what are you two doing standing idle? 579 00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:44,694 Squidward, scrape out the crow's nest. 580 00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:46,096 - No. - Done. 581 00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:48,098 - Refinish me floors. - No. 582 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,566 - Done. - Build me a new safe. 583 00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:51,568 - Nuh-uh. - Consider it done.