1
00:00:09,207 --> 00:00:10,307
- Are you ready, kids?
2
00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:12,275
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!
3
00:00:12,277 --> 00:00:13,577
- I can't hear you.
4
00:00:13,579 --> 00:00:16,079
all:
Aye, aye, Captain!
5
00:00:16,081 --> 00:00:18,181
- ♪ Ohh... ♪
6
00:00:18,183 --> 00:00:20,684
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪
7
00:00:20,686 --> 00:00:22,285
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
8
00:00:22,287 --> 00:00:24,588
- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪
9
00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:25,822
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
10
00:00:25,824 --> 00:00:28,725
- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪
11
00:00:28,727 --> 00:00:30,160
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
12
00:00:30,162 --> 00:00:32,429
- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪
13
00:00:32,431 --> 00:00:34,698
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
14
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,800
all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!
15
00:00:36,802 --> 00:00:39,136
SpongeBob SquarePants!
16
00:00:39,138 --> 00:00:41,171
SpongeBob SquarePants!
17
00:00:41,173 --> 00:00:42,506
- SpongeBob
18
00:00:42,508 --> 00:00:44,408
SquarePants!
19
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:47,210
[laughing]
20
00:00:47,212 --> 00:00:49,346
♪ ♪
21
00:00:49,348 --> 00:00:51,415
[waves crashing]
22
00:00:53,351 --> 00:00:56,553
[upbeat ukulele music]
23
00:00:56,555 --> 00:01:02,893
♪ ♪
24
00:01:03,761 --> 00:01:06,263
- Did you get stuck
in the pet door again?
25
00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:08,732
- I ain't gonna lie to you,
Meredith.
26
00:01:08,734 --> 00:01:11,301
I am not a happy camper!
27
00:01:11,303 --> 00:01:11,935
- [laughs]
28
00:01:11,937 --> 00:01:13,703
- We'll be right back with
"The Giant Isopod
29
00:01:13,705 --> 00:01:17,874
Stuck in the Pet Door" show
after these messages.
30
00:01:17,876 --> 00:01:19,643
- Homes! Homes!
Homes! Homes! Homes!
31
00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:23,413
I'm Nick Fishkins and
I want to buy your home!
32
00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:24,581
- What?
- You heard me.
33
00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:25,582
I want to buy your home.
34
00:01:25,584 --> 00:01:29,219
- But my home's not for sale.
- It doesn't matter to me.
35
00:01:29,221 --> 00:01:32,789
Any condition, any size.
I'll buy your home.
36
00:01:32,791 --> 00:01:34,991
Sold!
- Sold?
37
00:01:34,993 --> 00:01:37,694
Where am I gonna live now?
38
00:01:38,763 --> 00:01:40,764
- [blowing]
39
00:01:40,766 --> 00:01:41,832
What's happening, Patrick?
40
00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:45,535
You going on a hike?
- It's a forever hike.
41
00:01:45,537 --> 00:01:46,470
- A forever hike?
42
00:01:46,472 --> 00:01:49,873
- Yeah.
All because of Nick Fishkins.
43
00:01:49,875 --> 00:01:50,874
- Who's Nick Fishkins?
44
00:01:50,876 --> 00:01:53,577
- He shows up on television
and buys your home
45
00:01:53,579 --> 00:01:56,279
and there's nothing
you can do about it.
46
00:01:56,281 --> 00:02:00,283
Now I am doomed to walk
the seas without a home.
47
00:02:00,285 --> 00:02:03,653
- Aw, don't worry, Patrick.
You can move in with me.
48
00:02:03,655 --> 00:02:07,591
We'll be roommates.
- Wow!
49
00:02:08,626 --> 00:02:10,894
[both eating noisily]
50
00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:14,264
- I'm Nick Fishkins and
I want to buy your home!
51
00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:16,466
Sold!
[both screaming]
52
00:02:16,468 --> 00:02:18,335
- Pfffft!
- Pfffft!
53
00:02:21,305 --> 00:02:23,874
- Well, we might as well
spend the night here.
54
00:02:23,876 --> 00:02:24,708
It's not so bad.
55
00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:26,576
We could make a home
out of all this trash.
56
00:02:26,578 --> 00:02:31,047
- Don't forget to make a garage
for our new boat.
57
00:02:31,049 --> 00:02:33,650
[laughs]
58
00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:35,418
[rooster crows]
59
00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:40,524
- [yawns]
60
00:02:40,526 --> 00:02:41,992
Hmm?
61
00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:42,993
Huh, how strange.
62
00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:46,897
Usually I wake up each morning
with a dark feeling of dread
63
00:02:46,899 --> 00:02:47,998
gnawing at my stomach,
64
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:53,036
but today I feel
positively...happy.
65
00:02:53,038 --> 00:02:53,803
♪ ♪
66
00:02:53,805 --> 00:02:56,907
♪ Smilin' rainbows,
smilin' sun ♪
67
00:02:56,909 --> 00:02:59,676
♪ Smilin' rocks and
vegetation ♪
68
00:02:59,678 --> 00:03:02,712
♪ Look Ma, I'm dancing,
and hear my song ♪
69
00:03:02,714 --> 00:03:05,715
♪ The world is lovely
when nothing is wrong ♪
70
00:03:05,717 --> 00:03:08,585
♪ Everything's smiling,
yes, even me! ♪
71
00:03:08,587 --> 00:03:14,090
♪ Is this what they call
feeling happy? ♪
72
00:03:14,092 --> 00:03:14,791
- Ooh! Eh?
73
00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:17,460
- Still doesn't hurt.
- Morning, Squidward.
74
00:03:17,462 --> 00:03:19,863
- Good morning, SpongeBob.
75
00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:24,668
Ack! Oh...that's why I felt
great this morning.
76
00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:27,370
There was no SpongeBob.
77
00:03:27,372 --> 00:03:28,505
- Hi, Squidward!
78
00:03:28,507 --> 00:03:29,539
[mellow banjo music]
79
00:03:29,541 --> 00:03:33,910
- Oh, what did you numbskulls
do with the trash?
80
00:03:33,912 --> 00:03:35,412
- Built a house.
81
00:03:35,414 --> 00:03:36,346
- What the--
Why?
82
00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:38,548
- 'Cause Nick Fishkins
bought my home
83
00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:41,117
and then he bought
SpongeBob's home.
84
00:03:41,119 --> 00:03:42,485
- So now we live here.
85
00:03:42,487 --> 00:03:44,487
- Oh, why didn't you
just use the money
86
00:03:44,489 --> 00:03:45,922
that Nick Fishkins
gave you
87
00:03:45,924 --> 00:03:48,425
to rent a room
or buy a new home?
88
00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:50,126
- Well, he hasn't paid us yet.
89
00:03:50,128 --> 00:03:54,097
- Yeah, he said it right on the
TV: "I want to buy your home."
90
00:03:54,099 --> 00:03:55,498
But we haven't seen any money.
91
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,801
- Oh.
Let me get this straight.
92
00:03:57,803 --> 00:03:59,869
You saw a TV commercial
of Nick Fishkins
93
00:03:59,871 --> 00:04:01,571
saying he would buy your home
94
00:04:01,573 --> 00:04:05,108
and without meeting him
or signing anything
95
00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,677
you believe your homes
have been sold?
96
00:04:07,679 --> 00:04:10,814
Now doesn't that seem
weird, even to you?
97
00:04:10,816 --> 00:04:13,016
- Really weird.
98
00:04:13,018 --> 00:04:14,951
- Oh, listen, you dumb--
99
00:04:17,521 --> 00:04:18,955
[harp chords]
100
00:04:18,957 --> 00:04:20,890
Ahh...
101
00:04:23,127 --> 00:04:24,027
Hmm.
102
00:04:24,029 --> 00:04:28,164
Uh, you know, looks like
you guys got Fishkined,
103
00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:31,768
and, well, there's nothing
you can do about that.
104
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,136
[chuckles]
105
00:04:34,572 --> 00:04:37,507
[crows like a rooster]
106
00:04:37,509 --> 00:04:39,709
- [yawning]
107
00:04:40,911 --> 00:04:44,581
[humming]
108
00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:46,783
[slurps]
Ahh!
109
00:04:48,119 --> 00:04:50,720
- [humming]
110
00:04:51,722 --> 00:04:54,124
- [sniffs]
- Ready for work, Mr. Krabs.
111
00:04:54,126 --> 00:04:57,761
- Wait a minute!
What's the matter with you, boy?
112
00:04:57,763 --> 00:05:00,664
You look like you
slept in a pile of trash.
113
00:05:00,666 --> 00:05:01,564
- A pile of trash house.
114
00:05:01,566 --> 00:05:04,801
Patrick and I built one out
back with all your garbage.
115
00:05:04,803 --> 00:05:08,004
- With my garbage?
On my land?
116
00:05:08,006 --> 00:05:11,508
I'll be charging you
a reasonable rental fee.
117
00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:12,942
- How much?
- Hmm.
118
00:05:12,944 --> 00:05:14,010
Your paycheck
ought to cover it.
119
00:05:14,012 --> 00:05:18,214
- Gee, I didn't know being
homeless was so expensive.
120
00:05:18,216 --> 00:05:20,684
[nautical music]
121
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:22,952
- Ah, work is done.
122
00:05:22,954 --> 00:05:26,489
Now I can go home
to a SpongeBob-free zone
123
00:05:26,491 --> 00:05:30,126
and rearrange
my doily collection.
124
00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:31,461
- I miss the old
neighborhood.
125
00:05:31,463 --> 00:05:33,997
I think I'm gonna visit
my old house tonight.
126
00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:36,966
- Ah, no! No, you don't
want to do that.
127
00:05:36,968 --> 00:05:37,834
- Why?
- Well,
128
00:05:37,836 --> 00:05:38,768
a family has moved in there
129
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:42,706
with a lot of kids and they
don't like to be disturbed.
130
00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:45,709
- How many is a lot?
- Oh, like, pffft...12 kids.
131
00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:49,012
- But if I just ask politely to
visit, do you think they'd--
132
00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:50,480
- And they don't speak English.
133
00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:54,851
The Fishtrapps only speak...
German.
134
00:05:54,853 --> 00:05:56,820
- [whimpers]
135
00:05:56,822 --> 00:06:00,757
- Maybe I could move in with
whoever's in my house.
136
00:06:00,759 --> 00:06:03,226
- No, no, no!
A band lives there now.
137
00:06:03,228 --> 00:06:06,062
- A rock band?
- Um...yes?
138
00:06:06,064 --> 00:06:07,697
- 'Cause my house is a rock?
139
00:06:07,699 --> 00:06:10,867
- Yes, a big rock band
with like eight people
140
00:06:10,869 --> 00:06:12,102
and all sorts of
musical equipment
141
00:06:12,104 --> 00:06:15,105
so there's only room
for musicians, ha.
142
00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:16,673
- Hey, I could learn German.
143
00:06:16,675 --> 00:06:20,777
- And I could learn
what "learn" is.
144
00:06:20,779 --> 00:06:22,512
[dreamy music]
145
00:06:22,514 --> 00:06:24,280
- Mmm, nice.
146
00:06:24,282 --> 00:06:26,916
Ah! It's like
a beautiful dream.
147
00:06:26,918 --> 00:06:31,121
So peaceful.
No more aggravation.
148
00:06:31,123 --> 00:06:34,257
[hollow knocking]
Gah!
149
00:06:34,925 --> 00:06:37,560
What is that porous terror
up to now?
150
00:06:37,562 --> 00:06:41,197
Oh no! He's expecting a
big family that speaks German!
151
00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:44,934
[panicked babbling]
152
00:06:46,871 --> 00:06:49,806
Uh, German...hello?
153
00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:53,943
- Ach! Guten morgen.
Mein name ist SpongeBob.
154
00:06:53,945 --> 00:06:55,879
- Say what?
- Guten morgen.
155
00:06:55,881 --> 00:06:56,846
Mein name ist SpongeBob.
156
00:06:56,848 --> 00:07:01,117
Ich bin gekommen, um
meine alte Heimat besuchen.
157
00:07:01,119 --> 00:07:04,888
- [German accent] Please would
you speaken-zee English?
158
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,923
I need za practice.
159
00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:08,725
- Oh, ja!
I mean, sure!
160
00:07:08,727 --> 00:07:10,860
Good morning.
My name is SpongeBob.
161
00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:14,063
What is your name?
- Um...Gerhard.
162
00:07:14,065 --> 00:07:16,900
- Well, hello. Gerhard.
I used to live here.
163
00:07:16,902 --> 00:07:19,068
Just stopped by
to visit my old home.
164
00:07:19,070 --> 00:07:21,237
- Ach, meine Neptune.
Uh, now is nein
165
00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:24,274
such a good time mit
the wife and such.
166
00:07:24,276 --> 00:07:27,811
- Wife? Where is she?
- Uhh...Hey, SpongeBob.
167
00:07:27,813 --> 00:07:29,646
- Gack!
She's...shy.
168
00:07:29,648 --> 00:07:30,480
Well, I must be going.
169
00:07:30,482 --> 00:07:32,081
Mine wifen calling me
for zupper.
170
00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:35,151
She is a fine
Gutenchef of Fudenschlop.
171
00:07:35,153 --> 00:07:38,655
- Would you mind if
I stayed for zupper?
172
00:07:38,657 --> 00:07:39,823
Whatcha having?
- Um...
173
00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:43,927
Kerglooginpfiefer mit
schlusinberry klabber sauz.
174
00:07:43,929 --> 00:07:47,163
- Kerglooginpfiefer?
That's my favorite!
175
00:07:47,165 --> 00:07:48,364
What's your wife's name?
176
00:07:48,366 --> 00:07:51,367
- I don't know!
Hedvig!
177
00:07:51,369 --> 00:07:52,035
- Whoo!
178
00:07:52,037 --> 00:07:54,938
- Dunt moven!
Not a schtepp!
179
00:07:55,139 --> 00:07:58,374
Nein! Nein!
No moven sie! Sitz!
180
00:07:58,376 --> 00:08:00,176
[panting]
181
00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:02,178
[clattering]
182
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:04,247
[panting]
183
00:08:04,882 --> 00:08:07,650
Hey, man, like,
what's happening?
184
00:08:07,652 --> 00:08:11,821
- I missed my house and I was
hoping I could move back in.
185
00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:15,625
- Oh, sorry, dude, no room.
This place is, like,
186
00:08:15,627 --> 00:08:18,995
filled with band members
and musical instruments.
187
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:23,099
- What do you play?
- Oh...the electric clarinet.
188
00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:26,936
- There's no such thing!
- Sure, there is.
189
00:08:26,938 --> 00:08:27,971
- Prove it.
190
00:08:27,973 --> 00:08:30,306
- I'll be right back.
191
00:08:30,308 --> 00:08:31,274
[panting]
192
00:08:31,276 --> 00:08:33,076
[door slams]
[click]
193
00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:41,017
- Oh, Gerhard?
Are you coming back?
194
00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:42,318
- Gah!
195
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,788
- Hello!
You must be Hedvig.
196
00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:47,957
- Hedvig?
Oh! Oh, ja.
197
00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:50,226
That's me, Hedvig.
198
00:08:50,228 --> 00:08:51,361
- I have heard
so much about
199
00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:54,364
your Kerglooginpfiefer mit
schlusinberry klabber sauz.
200
00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:56,099
Can't wait to try it.
201
00:08:56,101 --> 00:08:57,267
- One--
[clears throat]
202
00:08:57,269 --> 00:09:00,003
[high voice]
One second!
203
00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:04,274
- Ah!
- Tonight's zupper is to go.
204
00:09:04,276 --> 00:09:05,041
So, please to go.
205
00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:06,876
- Well, aren't your
12 little German children
206
00:09:06,878 --> 00:09:08,678
gonna sing for me
while I eat?
207
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,746
- I don't have children!
208
00:09:09,748 --> 00:09:14,150
I mean, I mean, ja, ja.
Outzide, please.
209
00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:18,154
- I love
outdoor concerts.
210
00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:22,992
[playing electric clarinet]
- Ahh!
211
00:09:22,994 --> 00:09:25,228
- Uh, groovy enough
for you, man?
212
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:28,064
- That was great!
You should give lessons
213
00:09:28,066 --> 00:09:30,733
to my ex-neighbor, Squidward.
214
00:09:30,735 --> 00:09:31,868
He stinks!
215
00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:33,236
- [growls]
216
00:09:34,204 --> 00:09:36,372
[panting]
217
00:09:38,442 --> 00:09:39,375
- What's going on?
218
00:09:39,377 --> 00:09:42,478
- Shh! The Fishtrapp
children are gonna sing!
219
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,314
- ♪ We are der
little kiddiewinks ♪
220
00:09:44,316 --> 00:09:46,382
♪ Der kiddiewinks
der kiddiewinks ♪
221
00:09:46,384 --> 00:09:48,251
♪ We are der
little kiddiewinks ♪
222
00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:50,720
♪ We love to sing all day ♪
223
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:53,056
- [chomp]
I think the littlest kiddiewink
224
00:09:53,058 --> 00:09:54,090
is off-key.
225
00:09:54,092 --> 00:09:54,958
- They need a band.
226
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,961
I'll go talk to the guys
that live at my old place
227
00:09:57,963 --> 00:10:00,997
and see if they can
come over to play along.
228
00:10:00,999 --> 00:10:01,965
- Yeah!
229
00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:03,232
- [growls]
230
00:10:03,234 --> 00:10:04,467
That's it!
I'm done.
231
00:10:04,469 --> 00:10:08,838
- Squidward? What are you doing
in the Fishtrapps' house?
232
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:09,772
- You idiots.
233
00:10:09,774 --> 00:10:11,941
It's not
the Fishtrapps' house!
234
00:10:11,943 --> 00:10:12,775
It's your house!
235
00:10:12,777 --> 00:10:14,377
And that is still
Patrick's house!
236
00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:17,180
You just saw a commercial!
That's all!
237
00:10:17,182 --> 00:10:21,851
- So...is Nick Fishkins gonna
live in my house?
238
00:10:21,853 --> 00:10:25,388
- Grr! He doesn't live
in the houses he buys.
239
00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:27,957
- Well, if he doesn't live in
them, what does he do with them?
240
00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:29,759
- He flips the houses,
you dimwits!
241
00:10:29,761 --> 00:10:32,929
He buys houses,
then resells them for a profit.
242
00:10:32,931 --> 00:10:35,331
He flips houses
for a living!
243
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:37,400
- He flips houses for a living?
244
00:10:37,402 --> 00:10:40,036
- Yes! And I'm calling
Nick Fishkins right now
245
00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:44,173
to come over and flip
my house so I can move away!
246
00:10:44,175 --> 00:10:45,408
[angry grumbling]
247
00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:46,242
- Poor Squidward.
248
00:10:46,244 --> 00:10:48,945
We should do something
really nice for him.
249
00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:52,115
- Ooh!
I know.
250
00:10:52,349 --> 00:10:55,251
- All right, Patrick,
on the count of three.
251
00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:58,087
One, two, three!
252
00:10:58,089 --> 00:11:01,057
- Aah! Aah!
253
00:11:01,059 --> 00:11:03,259
[screams]
254
00:11:03,261 --> 00:11:05,528
- Say, is this home
of Squidward Tentacles?
255
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:07,830
The one that was for sale?
- Sure is.
256
00:11:07,832 --> 00:11:09,565
- Yech.
This place is a wreck.
257
00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:13,403
I'm Nick Fishkins and I do not
want to buy this home.
258
00:11:13,405 --> 00:11:15,338
Not sold.
259
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,073
[tires screeching]
260
00:11:17,075 --> 00:11:19,976
- What happened?
- We flipped your house for ya.
261
00:11:19,978 --> 00:11:21,511
- Who's that driving away?
262
00:11:21,513 --> 00:11:23,279
- That was Nick Fishkins.
263
00:11:23,281 --> 00:11:24,947
- And what did he say?
264
00:11:24,949 --> 00:11:25,948
- He said "Yeesh!
265
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:28,818
"Who'd want to live
in that thing?
266
00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:29,552
Not sold."
267
00:11:29,554 --> 00:11:32,388
- I--I can't believe
you did that!
268
00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:33,856
[groaning]
269
00:11:33,858 --> 00:11:36,092
♪ ♪
270
00:11:36,094 --> 00:11:37,360
both: You're welcome!
271
00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:40,296
[rock crackling, rattling]
272
00:11:40,298 --> 00:11:41,898
- Gah!
273
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,533
Ach du lieber.
274
00:11:45,302 --> 00:11:48,471
[nautical music]
275
00:11:48,473 --> 00:11:57,013
♪ ♪
276
00:11:59,349 --> 00:12:01,417
[rope creaking]
277
00:12:01,419 --> 00:12:04,287
[suspenseful music]
278
00:12:07,191 --> 00:12:09,325
- Oh, look at
that cloud, Gary.
279
00:12:09,327 --> 00:12:12,695
It looks just like
a giraffe eating ice cream.
280
00:12:12,697 --> 00:12:15,031
- [meows]
- You're right, Gary.
281
00:12:15,033 --> 00:12:16,032
All this cloud-watching...
282
00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:17,500
[stomach grumbles]
is making me hungry too.
283
00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:20,336
Ooh!
Look at that big one, Gary.
284
00:12:20,338 --> 00:12:22,538
And getting bigger
and bigger
285
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:26,175
and bigger
and bigger and--ow!
286
00:12:26,177 --> 00:12:28,478
[dramatic music]
287
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:29,979
- [meow]
288
00:12:29,981 --> 00:12:31,948
[sniffing]
289
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:35,151
- Hey, Gary.
That was a pretty heavy cloud.
290
00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:37,487
- [meows]
- You're right, Gary.
291
00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:40,990
It's not a cloud at all.
[grunts]
292
00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:43,159
Let's see what's inside.
293
00:12:43,161 --> 00:12:44,727
[grunting]
294
00:12:45,996 --> 00:12:47,263
Ooh, fortune cookies!
295
00:12:47,265 --> 00:12:50,600
Vague prophecies baked into
delicious bite-sized snacks.
296
00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:53,102
These cookies can
see the future, Gary,
297
00:12:53,104 --> 00:12:58,307
which means they knew we were
hungry even before we did.
298
00:12:58,309 --> 00:13:00,376
Let's eat!
Mmm!
299
00:13:00,378 --> 00:13:04,347
[both eating noisily]
300
00:13:04,349 --> 00:13:06,983
[reading]
301
00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:09,519
[gasps]
Did you hear that, Gary?
302
00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:10,987
The fortune is true!
303
00:13:10,989 --> 00:13:13,322
Let's look at your future.
304
00:13:13,524 --> 00:13:17,160
"Happy trails
will follow you always."
305
00:13:17,162 --> 00:13:20,029
[gasps]
Your fortune came true too!
306
00:13:20,031 --> 00:13:23,199
Cookies with fortunes
that actually come true?
307
00:13:23,201 --> 00:13:26,369
We have to share
these with everybody!
308
00:13:27,104 --> 00:13:29,438
- No, SpongeBob,
we are not handing out
309
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,507
anything free
with every purchase.
310
00:13:31,509 --> 00:13:33,476
Even the smiles here
cost a nickel.
311
00:13:33,478 --> 00:13:36,345
- Aw! Why not, Mr. Krabs?
- [laughs]
312
00:13:36,347 --> 00:13:39,115
Because, SpongeBob,
fortune cookie fortunes
313
00:13:39,117 --> 00:13:42,418
are always lame
and they never come true.
314
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:45,188
- Oh, but that is where
you're wrong, Squidward.
315
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:48,057
These fortune cookies
are different.
316
00:13:48,059 --> 00:13:49,325
Try one.
317
00:13:49,327 --> 00:13:51,627
- No.
- Oo-oop!
318
00:13:51,629 --> 00:13:53,129
- Eh.
319
00:13:54,531 --> 00:13:56,399
[chewing]
320
00:13:57,234 --> 00:13:59,135
[sighs]
"You will be rewarded
321
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:02,605
for your particular talents."
Right.
322
00:14:02,607 --> 00:14:04,674
- Excuse me,
Mr. Squidward Tentacles?
323
00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:05,441
You have just won
324
00:14:05,443 --> 00:14:08,311
"The Most Miserable Cashier
In Bikini Bottom" contest.
325
00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:11,547
Here's your cash prize.
Ha ha!
326
00:14:11,549 --> 00:14:12,248
[tooooot]
327
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:15,551
- Holy harpoons!
The fortune did come true!
328
00:14:15,553 --> 00:14:18,588
- Me cash register,
me money.
329
00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:22,191
- And that's why my depression
is award-winning.
330
00:14:22,193 --> 00:14:23,359
- Don't you see, Mr. Krabs?
331
00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:25,628
The fortunes in those cookies
are real!
332
00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:27,697
Can't we share them
with everyone?
333
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:28,831
- [gasps, coughs]
334
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,633
You know, you're right,
SpongeBob.
335
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:33,135
We must share these
magical macaroons
336
00:14:33,137 --> 00:14:36,105
with all the folks
in Bikini Bottom.
337
00:14:36,107 --> 00:14:37,840
You just leave it to me.
338
00:14:37,842 --> 00:14:39,408
- Oh, great!
339
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:42,478
- [sighs]
Great.
340
00:14:44,548 --> 00:14:45,815
- This is how you hook 'em.
341
00:14:45,817 --> 00:14:50,753
Now remember,
the first one is free!
342
00:14:50,755 --> 00:14:53,489
[inhales, blows]
343
00:14:53,491 --> 00:14:57,460
[crowd talks excitedly]
344
00:14:58,862 --> 00:14:59,662
- [chewing]
345
00:14:59,664 --> 00:15:03,432
"Something wonderful
is about to happen to you".
346
00:15:03,434 --> 00:15:05,134
[overlapping yipping]
347
00:15:05,136 --> 00:15:07,870
[laughs]
I love puppies!
348
00:15:07,872 --> 00:15:09,505
Thanks, fortune cookie!
349
00:15:09,507 --> 00:15:11,340
- Oh.
"Eat your hat,
350
00:15:11,342 --> 00:15:14,176
and you will
fall in love."
351
00:15:14,178 --> 00:15:16,646
Ha ha.
[chewing]
352
00:15:16,648 --> 00:15:17,480
[gasps]
353
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:19,849
- [chewing]
Hmm?
354
00:15:19,851 --> 00:15:21,584
- [sighs]
355
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:23,686
- [gulps]
Ah!
356
00:15:23,688 --> 00:15:24,820
[both laughing]
357
00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:29,158
both: Thanks, fortune cookie.
358
00:15:29,393 --> 00:15:33,396
- "You will soon
injure your legs"?
359
00:15:35,132 --> 00:15:36,165
My legs!
360
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:39,368
I was looking for an excuse
to get out of jury duty!
361
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:42,171
[plays riff]
Thanks, fortune cookie!
362
00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:44,640
- Those fortune cookies
are a hit!
363
00:15:44,642 --> 00:15:45,508
Whoa!
364
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:49,278
[all talking at once]
365
00:15:50,247 --> 00:15:53,316
- Fortune cookies
at the Krusty Krab, eh?
366
00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:55,651
Well, Eugene,
I have a prediction too:
367
00:15:55,653 --> 00:16:00,756
you are in for an epic fail
supreme with extra cheese.
368
00:16:00,758 --> 00:16:03,526
[laughs]
- Sheldon!
369
00:16:03,528 --> 00:16:05,227
Where are you?
370
00:16:05,229 --> 00:16:07,630
- [screams]
371
00:16:07,632 --> 00:16:08,664
[groans]
372
00:16:08,666 --> 00:16:10,733
Barnacles, woman,
would it kill you
373
00:16:10,735 --> 00:16:12,735
to leave me alone
for five minutes?
374
00:16:12,737 --> 00:16:13,602
- Sorry, your lordship,
375
00:16:13,604 --> 00:16:17,640
but the garbage isn't
going to take itself out.
376
00:16:17,642 --> 00:16:19,375
- Ugh!
[grunts]
377
00:16:19,377 --> 00:16:21,310
Riddle me this,
computer wife:
378
00:16:21,312 --> 00:16:22,812
What's hollow,
full of lies,
379
00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:25,548
and leaves a bad taste
in your mouth?
380
00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:27,183
- Our marriage?
381
00:16:27,185 --> 00:16:29,352
- No! Fortune cookies!
382
00:16:29,354 --> 00:16:30,753
And Krabs is raking it
in right now
383
00:16:30,755 --> 00:16:34,223
because all of his fortunes
are actually coming true.
384
00:16:34,225 --> 00:16:37,793
So...
- So, you've got an evil plan
385
00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:39,929
to get the Krabby Patty
secret formula
386
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:41,397
and soon it will
be yours, all yours.
387
00:16:41,399 --> 00:16:43,432
[as Plankton]
Wah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
388
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:47,803
- Wow, I can't tell if
you're sarcastic or psychic.
389
00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:49,638
- [groans]
390
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:53,843
- [chuckling]
391
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,644
Ooh, this'll be a good one.
392
00:16:55,646 --> 00:16:59,382
"You...stink."
393
00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:02,318
[laughs]
394
00:17:02,686 --> 00:17:05,221
[continues laughing]
395
00:17:05,223 --> 00:17:08,457
[suspenseful music]
396
00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:11,427
♪ ♪
397
00:17:11,429 --> 00:17:14,330
Enjoy your new
fortune cookies, Krabs!
398
00:17:14,332 --> 00:17:16,966
- ♪ La la
la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
399
00:17:16,968 --> 00:17:18,968
Time for a refill!
400
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:22,872
[crowd all talking excitedly]
401
00:17:26,443 --> 00:17:27,443
- What is my future?
402
00:17:27,445 --> 00:17:28,878
- My tentacles
are gonna fall off
403
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,580
if I don't get
a break soon, Mr. Krabs!
404
00:17:31,582 --> 00:17:32,681
- Look out, Mr. Squidward.
405
00:17:32,683 --> 00:17:36,018
I'll teach you how
to run a cash register.
406
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:37,386
[cracks knuckles]
407
00:17:37,388 --> 00:17:40,689
[nautical music speeds up]
408
00:17:40,691 --> 00:17:42,958
Huh?
More cookies, SpongeBob!
409
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,394
- Fortunes flying in,
Mr. Krabs!
410
00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:48,964
- Let the wave
of misfortune begin!
411
00:17:48,966 --> 00:17:52,334
- "You will get stomach cramps
from the Krusty Krab"?
412
00:17:52,336 --> 00:17:57,306
- "An octopus with a big nose
just spit in your food"?
413
00:17:57,308 --> 00:18:00,409
[melodramatic accent chords]
414
00:18:00,411 --> 00:18:01,010
♪ ♪
415
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:05,448
- "A yellow sponge will
serve you salmonella"?
416
00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:09,885
- "You will live forever if
you eat at the Chum Bucket"?
417
00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:12,922
- Let's eat at
the Chum Bucket!
418
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:16,358
[all cheering]
419
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,461
- [whimpering]
420
00:18:25,335 --> 00:18:27,536
[crowd talking excitedly]
421
00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:29,839
- What did we ever do
to those fortune cookies
422
00:18:29,841 --> 00:18:32,041
to make them lie
about us like that?
423
00:18:32,043 --> 00:18:33,776
- Well, the fortunes
in those cookies
424
00:18:33,778 --> 00:18:35,411
were always right before.
425
00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:38,881
Here, Mr. Krabs--maybe this next
one'll change your luck.
426
00:18:38,883 --> 00:18:40,449
- [grumbling]
427
00:18:40,451 --> 00:18:42,885
Hmm. "Unless you
give a tiny copepod
428
00:18:42,887 --> 00:18:46,622
"the Krabby Patty
secret formula,
429
00:18:46,624 --> 00:18:47,756
you will die"?
430
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:52,328
- Hello!
Did someone say "copepod"?
431
00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:55,097
[both screaming in panic]
432
00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:02,104
Just wanted to borrow
a cup of grease, Eugene.
433
00:19:02,106 --> 00:19:04,607
I'll come back later!
Ciao!
434
00:19:04,609 --> 00:19:07,977
- J-just how true are these
cookie fortunes, SpongeBob?
435
00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:11,981
- If the cookie says
it's true, then it's true!
436
00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:16,785
Horribly, terribly,
truthfully true!
437
00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:21,390
[weeping loudly]
438
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:23,893
- "You will die."
439
00:19:23,895 --> 00:19:27,830
[voice echoing]
Die...die...die...
440
00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:28,898
- [crying]
441
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:33,502
- Oh, I'll miss you, Daddy!
[sobs]
442
00:19:33,504 --> 00:19:34,870
But I really can't
wait to spend
443
00:19:34,872 --> 00:19:38,040
all your hard-earned
money on shoes!
444
00:19:38,042 --> 00:19:38,841
- Me money!
445
00:19:38,843 --> 00:19:44,079
- Mr. Krabs, no!
[wailing loudly]
446
00:19:44,081 --> 00:19:46,115
- [grunts]
- [wailing]
447
00:19:46,117 --> 00:19:49,418
[distantly]
Mr. Krabs?
448
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:51,720
Mr. Krabs, it's time.
449
00:19:51,722 --> 00:19:53,923
- Aah-ha-ha!
- It's time to give up
450
00:19:53,925 --> 00:19:55,724
the secret formula
to Plankton.
451
00:19:55,726 --> 00:19:57,092
Because your life
is worth more
452
00:19:57,094 --> 00:20:00,162
than some scrap
of paper in a bottle!
453
00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:02,164
- You're right, me boy-o.
454
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:05,901
I got to face me fortune.
455
00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:09,104
- Don't crowd,
there's more chumbalaya
456
00:20:09,106 --> 00:20:12,541
where that came from,
unfortunately.
457
00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:14,443
- [grunts]
458
00:20:14,445 --> 00:20:16,912
[all chewing]
459
00:20:16,914 --> 00:20:17,613
all: Ugh!
460
00:20:17,615 --> 00:20:19,481
- It's worth it
to live forever.
461
00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:22,418
- This scheme is working
perfectly.
462
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:25,154
And here comes
gullible Krabs now
463
00:20:25,156 --> 00:20:27,723
to hand-deliver
the secret formula.
464
00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:30,659
I promised
myself I wouldn't cry.
465
00:20:30,661 --> 00:20:31,927
[laughs]
466
00:20:34,531 --> 00:20:37,833
- Oh, this crowd
is impossible!
467
00:20:37,835 --> 00:20:38,834
- Leave it to me,
Mr. Krabs!
468
00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:44,506
I'll make sure Plankton
gets his so you won't get yours.
469
00:20:44,508 --> 00:20:47,509
Hot stuff comin' through!
470
00:20:47,511 --> 00:20:48,777
[grunts]
471
00:20:48,779 --> 00:20:51,847
[grunting noisily]
472
00:20:51,849 --> 00:20:52,581
[whimpering]
473
00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:57,586
- Don't worry, secret formula!
I'm coming, baby!
474
00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:04,226
[grunting]
475
00:21:04,228 --> 00:21:05,995
- Yow! Ow!
476
00:21:05,997 --> 00:21:08,197
- [struggling]
477
00:21:09,065 --> 00:21:13,736
- [gasping excitedly]
478
00:21:13,738 --> 00:21:16,238
- [grunting]
479
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,174
Me wants that ba-ba!
480
00:21:19,176 --> 00:21:21,043
- Aah!
481
00:21:22,746 --> 00:21:26,749
- Here, Plankton. Mr. Krabs
wants you to have this.
482
00:21:26,751 --> 00:21:29,685
- Heh, heh!
Finally!
483
00:21:29,687 --> 00:21:31,587
[straining]
484
00:21:31,589 --> 00:21:32,921
No!
485
00:21:32,923 --> 00:21:35,591
♪ ♪
486
00:21:35,593 --> 00:21:36,959
Whoa--[grunts]
487
00:21:36,961 --> 00:21:40,162
Aah, aah!
488
00:21:40,164 --> 00:21:42,564
[screams]
489
00:21:42,566 --> 00:21:45,668
I have had enough!
490
00:21:46,169 --> 00:21:50,272
Get out of my restaurant,
you mindless sheep!
491
00:21:50,274 --> 00:21:51,573
I wrote those fortunes!
492
00:21:51,575 --> 00:21:52,641
[all gasp]
They were fakes!
493
00:21:52,643 --> 00:21:56,578
Don't you get it?
Now all of you, out!
494
00:21:56,580 --> 00:21:57,112
[growls]
495
00:21:57,114 --> 00:21:59,181
- Let's go back to
the Krusty Krab!
496
00:21:59,183 --> 00:22:02,651
all: Yeah!
- Yeah, back to the Krusty Krab!
497
00:22:02,653 --> 00:22:05,087
all: Yeah!
498
00:22:05,089 --> 00:22:07,122
- Hmm hmm.
- [sighs]
499
00:22:07,124 --> 00:22:09,925
- I guess I didn't really
think that through.
500
00:22:09,927 --> 00:22:14,096
- I figured the funeral fortune
was phony, Flankton!
501
00:22:14,098 --> 00:22:14,763
- Oh, yeah?
502
00:22:14,765 --> 00:22:17,966
What are you
gonna do about it, Eugene?
503
00:22:17,968 --> 00:22:19,234
- Nothing, Sheldon.
504
00:22:19,236 --> 00:22:22,037
Here, have a fortune cookie.
505
00:22:22,039 --> 00:22:23,205
- [grunts]
Huh.
506
00:22:23,207 --> 00:22:25,674
"You will go on a long voyage
507
00:22:25,676 --> 00:22:29,845
where you will get
everything you deserve."
508
00:22:29,847 --> 00:22:31,313
Hey!
509
00:22:34,718 --> 00:22:35,584
[grunts]
510
00:22:35,586 --> 00:22:38,153
Uhh! Hey! Oof!
511
00:22:38,155 --> 00:22:40,789
Mommy!
- [chomp]
512
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,661
[ukulele music]
513
00:22:45,663 --> 00:22:54,002
♪ ♪