Oh, Jimmy, perhaps you should get your father to help you.
No sausage fort is strong enough to withstand the infinite power
of Johnny Waffle and his sidekick Baco-Boy.
( barking )
Maybe I'll help you... o-or better yet
there's a brand-new carton of juice in the refrigerator.
Now, now, you can't beat the savory zing of fresh-squeezed.
Go ahead, fire it up, Jimbo.
You got it, Dad.
Initiate juice sequence.
( motor chugging softly )
( clanks )
( electrical zapping )
( barking )
Look out! She's going to blow!
( all yelling )
Jimmy, turn this thing off!
Watch out!
Baco-Boy!
( mother shrieking )
Gone.
He gave his life for ours.
We'll miss you, Johnny Waffle.
Uh, see? I-It worked.
My kitchen is ruined!
Well, I'll clean it up, Mom. I promise.
I'll invent a Robo-Maid
and-and program her to use a vacuum and the br...
I've had enough of your inventions for one day, young man.
But-But...
Now, you just march yourself off to school.
But, Mom...
I said... "March."
I'm going.
Honestly, Jimmy
sometimes I wish you weren't such a little genius.
I disarmed your particle beam, Robo-Fiend.
You have no choice but to surrender!
Take that, Ultra-Horror!
Don't make me pinch you!
"D-Don't make me pinch you"?
You know what? I don't think you're ready for this.
These are intergalactic warriors, you know.
So? Pinching still hurts.
No, it doesn't.
Ow!
( chuckling ): Told you.
Oh, hey, Jim.
COMPUTER VOICE: Identity verified.
You okay, Jimmy?
'Cause, you know, you look kind of down.
Oh, Carl, it's just that sometimes
it's a heavy burden being a man of science.
I know what you mean, Jimmy.
That's why I decided early on
to sabotage my highly scientific mind
with cartoons and sugar.
I guess it's too late for me... but can't I get just one day
where being a genius doesn't mess up my whole life?
( laughing )
Talk about kismet!
Jimmy, this is your lucky day
'cause after everyone gets a load of my science project...
there's going to be a new genius in town.
( snorts )
MISS FOWL: A hot dog holder?
Actually, the Hot Dog Holder Deluxe
also known as the Versa-Bun.
It not only holds hot dogs, it is also a stylish hat
a butterfly with fat wings
a comfy seat cushion at your favorite sporting event
and as quickly as you see it right before your very eyes
( gulping ): it's gone!
( mouth full ): Ooh... what happened to the Hot Dog Holder Deluxe?
I see. ( clucks )
Maybe next time you can team up with Jimmy.
Well, thank you, Miss Fowl.
I would be more than happy to give my good friend a hand.
And what do you have to share with us today?
( clucking )
Oh, it's nothing, really.
It's just a magnetic polarity TV tray.
See, the magnets in the tray repel
against the magnets in the plates
suspending them in midair.
Sweet Mother Machree!
Look, class. ( clucking )
The plates are floating.
LIBBY: Jimmy! Dude...
He does it again!
Why do we even bother?
Wait a minute.
I don't give up.
My science project is just as good as Neutron's.
See? It's a papier-mâché model of Mount Vesuvius
and when I squeeze this pump
chocolate sauce lava engulfs the gumdrop citizens of Pompeii.
Look, Cindy, Jimmy's plates are floating.
Oh... Neutron, why don't you just go to college and leave us all alone?
OTHERS: Yeah.
You're making us look bad, Neutron.
Good news, everyone.
Jimmy Neutron's state test scores were the highest
in world history.
( school bell ringing )
Okay, time for recess.
No one go near Jimmy's head!
( whispering ): That's precious cargo.
I liked your project, Libby.
Ah! Talk to the skull.
Oh... what's the point of being smart
if it just makes me miserable?
Hey... that's it!
Excuse me, kid, I got to change the bulb.
JIMMY: Gentlemen, I give you the Brain-Drain 8000
the same dumbing-down technology used by top radio personalities.
Oh... put it on, Jimmy! Put it on!
Hey, hold the phone, Jimmy.
Maybe you shouldn't drain your brain.
Aw, being smart gets me nothing but trouble, Carl.
I just want an average, ordinary
nothing-special brain... like you guys.
But what if you don't like it?
No problem.
Then I just reverse the polarity
of the electron counterbalances in the helmet
and get smart all over again.
Yeah, Carl, all he's got to do is revert the polar-berries
to the c-cranberry electronic power to... persons.
Turn it on! Turn it on!
Initialize brain drain.
( zapping )
( machine whining )
SHEEN: Wow... look at him.
He looks so... so similar.
Aw, that's okay, Jim.
There's always next time.
JIMMY: Shiny.
Shiny!
I like shiny.
It worked! It worked!
Hey, have you guys seen my loopy dance?
♪ I'm loopy, I'm loopy ♪
♪ I'm loopy, loopy, loopy... ♪
Uh... Normal Jimmy seems kind of stupid.
Yeah, he's pretty messed up.
♪ Loopy, loopy... ♪
I like him! Me, too.
Can we keep him?
( birds chirping )
( laughing )
( snickering )
I got your nose.
( shrieks )
My nose! My nose!
Give him his nose back, Sheen!
( crickets chirping )
ALL: ♪ We're loopy, we're loopy ♪
♪ We're loopy, loopy, loopy. ♪
Okay, who can tell me the square root of 144?
( clucks )
I know!
Eleventy-six.
Well, no. I'm sorry.
That's wrong.
( classmates gasping )
Cindy?
12.
That's right. ( clucks )
Yes!
Let the record show, for one brief and shining moment
I was smarter than Fre.
That means that I, Cinx
can assume my rightful place as the smartest kid in...
( gasping ): Ooh. Huh?
( whooshing )
MISS FOWL: That's a meteor!
And it's headed straight for us!
( screaming )
It's a meteor!
All right, children.
Now, everyone stand in an orderly fashion
as we await our imminent doom.
MAN: Yeah, which one of you is Jimmy Neutron?
He is. There you go, sir.
Neutron, I'm Mayor Quadar.
That meteor's headed straight for town
and you have to help us destroy it.
( mumbling )
Attaboy! Now, on to the super-safe underground bomb shelter.
Okay... he's off my vote.
What do we do, Cindy?
Everybody, stop looking at me!
It's not my fault Neutron got stupid
just as a meteor's about to hit.
Come on, Neutron, do one of your brain-blast deals.
( beeps ) ( goofy laugh )
Funny monkey!
( laughing )
We're all doomed!
Oh... I wish Jimmy hadn't made himself so dumb.
What?!
Well, you see, Jimmy was in his lab alone
and he just...
Show me!
Okay, Neutron
how does this thing work?
I don't know, Susie.
It's Cindy!
You're kind of cute.
Oh, I'll wing it!
( whining )
So? Are you a big, genius, showoff butt-brain again?
I'm not sure.
Of course, what is genius but an artificial construct
in the guise of an empirical truth?
Hey, I didn't understand a word he said.
Yeah! He's back!
Whoo! Whoo!
Okay, brainiac, we don't have much time.
There's a big flaming meteor
heading right for us.
Oh, the plates from your TV tray, Jimmy?
Yep. I'm going to increase the power of these magnetic plates
so they'll repel the metals in the meteor
and force it back into space.
Of course!
That's nice.
Turbines to speed.
( engine whining )
Lift off!
Got to get closer!
( digitized beeping )
( roaring )
Eat magnets, space rock!
( cheering )
Come on, brain, old buddy. Let's go home.
Tell them, Neutron.
Tell them how I helped you save Retroville.
I'm sorry, Miss, do I know you?
Very funny, Neutron.
Next time a meteor is hurtling towards Earth
and you've sapped your intelligence
using brain-draining technology, don't come crying to me!
Oh, like, that was so awesome, Jimmy.
Yeah, Dumb Jimmy was a lot of fun.
♪ He was loopy ♪
♪ I'm loopy... ♪
BOTH: ♪ We're loopy, we're loopy ♪
ALL: ♪ We're loopy ♪
♪ I'm loopy ♪
♪ You're loopy... ♪
♪ I'm loopy... ♪ ♪ Uh-huh, hey... ♪
Okay, I think we should stop now.
Ladies and gentlemen...
and Cindy.
I want to show you
the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld.
A llama?
No.
A baby llama?
No.
A baby llama with a little hat on?
No!
An invention of yours that actually works?
No... I mean yes.
I present to you the latest and greatest Neutron invention--
Book gum.
Why spend endless hours reading a book
when you can simply chew the book instead?
Wow, Jimmy, chewing a book.
Sheen, you don't actually chew a book.
See, I reduced the contents of different books to gum form.
You chew it, and you know it.
Tastes fishy.
Call me Ishmael.
Starbuck, it's the great white whale.
I'll get you, Moby Dick!
Give me a piece of that.
Hmm... it tastes like fried chicken.
Oh, Ashley, oh, Rhett.
I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies.
JIMMY: Careful, Carl.
It would be very dangerous
to eat more than one
at a time.
Mm...
William Shakespeare.
That might just be a little strong for you, Carl.
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east and Juliet is the sun.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.
Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand
that I might touch that cheek.
Class, we're having a candy selling contest
to raise money.
( all groaning and yawning )
Boring.
The student who sells the most boxes
will win a free VIP trip
to Retroland.
( cheering )
JIMMY: I'm going to win that contest
and take you guys with me.
I'm going to try to win
and if by some miracle I do
I'll take you guys.
I'll try to win
but something will go horribly wrong
so thanks for including me.
CINDY: Hey, Larry, Moe... Shorty.
Forget it. I am winning this contest.
Yes. Cindy won the Girl Club cookie-selling contest
three years in a row.
And I could have won three more times
but they forced me to retire
those merit-badge- grabbing-cookie-loving...
Ah, that's a cute story, girls.
But as it stands
I'm winning this contest.
Oh, really?
Well, then let the games begin.
And may the best salesperson win.
Don't worry; she will.
( blows raspberry )
Download candy and chocolate actualities
and data...
Oh, selling candy, eh, Jimbo?
Well, you have come to the right dinner table.
Welcome to the Hugh Neutron school of salesmanship.
Class is in session.
Pumpkin pants, let's play traveling salesman.
Who should I be this time?
You be the person who's not the traveling salesman.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
It's me.
Well, come on in. Good evening, ma'am.
Want to spice up your life? Sure.
Well, then what you need
is this beautiful four-pronged eating implement.
But, sir, I already have one.
I can see.
But can yours talk?
( with high-pitched voice ): Hello. My name is Forky.
You're pretty.
( giggling ) Buy me. Buy me.
I'll take four.
And that, Jimmy, is how where I got to be...
where I am today.
Bring on the pie.
You are the best.
You have the power.
Eye of the tiger.
Jimmy Neutron is going down.
Oh, what can I do for you, sonny?
Greetings, potential buyer.
I would like to show you
the psychological and physical advantages
of buying and later ingesting chocolate-based products
through your oral cavity.
Chocolate comes from the cocoa tree
or theobroma.
There's are 22 species
and six sections of theobroma...
Theobromine is one of a group of chemicals
known as methylxanthines also known as alkaloids.
I don't understand, Godard.
I did the research, I compiled the facts
I presented them in a coherent fashion.
Why aren't they buying?
Well, if it isn't Mr. I'm-winning- this-contest.
How many boxes have you sold so far?
Well, I haven't tabulated my inventory yet.
Hmm, looks like a resounding... none!
( both laughing )
Neutron, sit right there and watch a pro at work.
( with British accent ): Would you please...
( coughs ) ...buy some candy
before I have to go back to the orphanage...
and work in a coal mine to pay for
my puppy's operation?
( coughing )
You poor, sweet child.
I'll take a dozen boxes.
Cash only.
( imitating mobster ): The Vortex family
would consider it a grr
if you were to buy a case of this delicious candy.
Forget about it.
I ain't buying nothing.
That's a very beautiful horse.
It would be unfortunate for him to have an accident...
Capisce?
Oh, no. Not Chestnut.
I'll take ten cases.
♪ So if you buy some candy, you'll feel oh so dandy ♪
♪ So buy some candy today! ♪
Hey, Jimbo, we just bought some candy
from that cute little Cindy Vortex.
I have miscalculated.
It's not about superior intellect.
It's all about manipulating emotions
with shallow, unscrupulous behavior.
Godard, options.
Jimmy Neutron doesn't dance, Godard.
Godard, whose side are you on?
Yeah, if I can't be a better salesman
I'll create a better salesman.
The Willy Loman 3000-- a super-selling machine
programmed to make the sale at any cost.
He will not take no for an answer.
( gears whirring )
It's the good life, gentlemen.
While the W.L. 3000 does all the work
we sit here enjoying a tall cold one.
And plan our VIP trip to Retroland.
Huzzah!
What?
Huzzah-- some goofy way to say cool.
What?!
Good afternoon, sir.
May I say you look absolutely fab-fabulous.
Yes, I agree
it is beautiful out.
I don't want to buy nothing.
Buy? Who said buy?
I would like to give you a piece of candy
absolutely free with no strings attached.
Forget it.
You can never
have enough candy, sir.
I can, and I do.
Good-bye.
Ye-ye-yes, this is a "good" buy.
What part of "no" do you not understand?
How about if I throw in this free-ee-ee... dog
if you buy a box?
Hmm... what kind of dog is he?
He's your kind of dog.
Con-congratulations.
Hey, what does he eat?
Oh, not on the carpet!
Oh, are those lug nuts?
I have sold 1,000 boxes of candy.
Wow. Way to go, Willy.
And now for some good old-fashioned gloating
and I-told-you-soing.
Oh, Miss Vortex.
Hey-hey-hey-hey, you look like
a couple of intelligent young men.
Uh-uh. It's just the glasses.
( chuckling )
And witty to boot.
If you buy one measly box of ca-candy
you'll receive as my gift to you
this handsome custom-made rocket.
But that's Jimmy's rocket.
But it's free.
I'm going to have so much fun at Retroland
and Neutron won't 'cause he is lame and I am not.
I'm busy, Neutron.
I'm planning my fabulous free VIP trip to Retroland.
Well, you might want to rethink that, Vortex.
Guess who just sold 1,000 boxes of candy?
I guess the best salesman did win.
( engine roaring )
I don't know how to stop it!
I don't care. All right!
What in the name of Albert Einstein is going on?
Heck if I know, Nerdtron
but isn't that your stupid jet pack
that someone is putting in
the back of their truck?
JIMMY: Pukin' Pluto!
Buy a box of ca-candy, missy
and I'll throw in this beautiful hover car.
It was only driven by a ten-year-old boy
on the weekends to science fairs.
Uh, hi, Jimmy.
We had a little trouble landing.
Do you have another rocket?
( barking )
Come back here you mangy, mechanical...
You gave away Godard?
But you can't just...
How much do I hear for this strapping young lad?
Large of head, brawny of brain.
I'll give you 25 cents.
What are you... 25 cents?
I'm worth at least...
50 cents.
Sheen?!
Hey, Jimmy, I wanted to buy you
since I was five years old.
And the bid if 50 cents... 50 cents...
50-50-50 cents.
Four bits, four bits...
Oh, Hugh, you've got to do something.
Don't worry, sweet cheeks.
I've got it covered.
I'll give you one dollar.
Two dollars.
Going once, going twice...
To rich for my blood. See ya, Jimmy.
Hugh Neutron, you buy our son this instant.
But I only have a dollar.
Oh!
Come on, come on, we need more money.
Neutron is mine.
Two dollars...
Oh, no, no.
Think, think, think...
It would be very dangerous to eat more than one at a time.
Brain blast.
Might I interest you in some free gum?
Did you say free?
Once upon a time...
It was the best of times
it was the worst of times...
Elementary, my dear Watson...
Hop on Pop...
( reciting book passages rapidly )
Danger, Jimmy Neutron...
Danger...
Literature overload... lit-literature overload...
Danger Jimmy Neutron.
Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger...
Well, after making some creative adjustments
in the final tally
here are the contest results--
it's a tie!
Jimmy Neutron and Cind.
So I guess you'll just have to go to Retroland together.
I demand a recount.
I demand a transfer to another school.
I am not having fun.
Neither am I, Nerdtron.
Want some gum?
No!
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
Hi, I'm Paul.
JIMMY: Got to blast.