1 00:00:12,396 --> 00:00:13,928 Gotta Blast! 2 00:00:13,963 --> 00:00:17,064 ♪ From here to the stars, Fueled by Candy Bar's ♪ 3 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:20,334 ♪ Rides a kid with a knack for invention ♪ 4 00:00:20,370 --> 00:00:21,836 ( gasps ) 5 00:00:21,872 --> 00:00:26,508 ♪ With a super-powered mind, a mechanical canine ♪ 6 00:00:26,543 --> 00:00:27,876 ( barks ) 7 00:00:27,911 --> 00:00:30,712 ♪ He rescues the day from sure destruction ♪ 8 00:00:30,747 --> 00:00:31,679 Help! 9 00:00:31,715 --> 00:00:34,248 ♪ This is the theme song ♪ 10 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,249 ( screams ) 11 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,753 ♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪ 12 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,055 ( mechanical whirring ) 13 00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:42,056 ( barking ) 14 00:00:42,091 --> 00:00:44,459 ( yells ) 15 00:00:44,494 --> 00:00:48,730 Captioning sponsored by NICKELODEON 16 00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:58,005 SHEEN: "Enter the completely 'legitimate' 17 00:00:58,041 --> 00:00:59,507 Hollywood Screenplay Contest." 18 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:01,342 "Winning script will get made 19 00:01:01,377 --> 00:01:02,977 by famous Hollywood director." 20 00:01:03,012 --> 00:01:06,414 CARL: "If you can read this sign, you, too, can write a movie." 21 00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:07,515 What a scam! 22 00:01:07,551 --> 00:01:11,118 I can write a movie. Yeah. Me, too! 23 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:14,322 You would enter a lame contest like that? 24 00:01:14,357 --> 00:01:16,257 Just because you couldn't enter it... 25 00:01:16,292 --> 00:01:17,525 Why couldn't I? 26 00:01:17,561 --> 00:01:20,261 Oh, please, when they were passing out creativity, 27 00:01:20,296 --> 00:01:22,997 you were locked in the little nerds' room. 28 00:01:23,032 --> 00:01:25,700 Remember his awful short story? 29 00:01:25,735 --> 00:01:29,236 "Call it fate," Ursula said, finishing her pastrami sandwich. 30 00:01:29,272 --> 00:01:33,541 "No," Lance said, "Call it binomial expansion." 31 00:01:33,577 --> 00:01:39,747 ( others scream with laughter ) 32 00:01:39,783 --> 00:01:41,549 And remember his painting? 33 00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:58,065 ( raucous laughter ) 34 00:01:58,101 --> 00:02:00,034 And remember his opera? 35 00:02:00,069 --> 00:02:01,035 CARL: Don't even... 36 00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:01,936 That was horrible. 37 00:02:01,972 --> 00:02:03,304 Yeah, don't go there. 38 00:02:03,339 --> 00:02:04,939 You rule math and science, 39 00:02:04,975 --> 00:02:07,475 but have the creativity of a tree stump. 40 00:02:07,511 --> 00:02:09,611 Oh, yeah?! We'll see about that. 41 00:02:09,646 --> 00:02:11,345 Cut. Exit scene. 42 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,147 Fade out. 43 00:02:13,182 --> 00:02:14,916 What's he talking about? 44 00:02:14,951 --> 00:02:16,718 Got me-- that was creepy. 45 00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:18,386 I'll show those guys. 46 00:02:18,421 --> 00:02:22,256 How hard can it be to write a "screenplay?" 47 00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:32,366 ( screaming ) 48 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:35,570 Wait a minute, I have to approach this scientifically. 49 00:02:35,605 --> 00:02:38,006 Goddard, download the most successful movies 50 00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:40,374 and let me watch them at hyperspeed. 51 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,543 ( barks ) 52 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,345 ( fanfare and growling ) 53 00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:46,781 ( mixture of voices ): I'm king of the... 54 00:02:46,816 --> 00:02:47,582 Precious... 55 00:02:47,617 --> 00:02:48,816 May the force be... 56 00:02:48,852 --> 00:02:49,817 Home... 57 00:02:49,853 --> 00:02:50,818 Box of chocolates... 58 00:02:50,854 --> 00:02:52,954 There is no try... 59 00:02:52,989 --> 00:02:54,589 Nemo! 60 00:02:54,624 --> 00:02:55,723 To infinity and... 61 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:56,691 We left Kevin! 62 00:02:56,726 --> 00:02:58,392 And your little dog, too! 63 00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,493 Go to blast. 64 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,766 So, what's your movie about, Libs? 65 00:03:04,801 --> 00:03:06,534 My movie's called Cappuccino Jones. 66 00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:08,036 Hip Hop singer by day, 67 00:03:08,071 --> 00:03:11,338 fashion designer FBI agent by night. 68 00:03:11,374 --> 00:03:14,642 Well, my movie's about a handsome, buff llama rancher 69 00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:17,311 who's in love with a beautiful older woman 70 00:03:17,346 --> 00:03:18,713 named Judy. 71 00:03:18,748 --> 00:03:21,148 Hey, isn't Jimmy's mom named Judy? 72 00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:24,285 Uh... no, I made that name up. 73 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,887 I couldn't think of anything, 74 00:03:25,922 --> 00:03:29,591 so I just stapled some pages of the phone book together. 75 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:33,227 I call it, Attack of the People Named Frank Johnson! 76 00:03:33,262 --> 00:03:35,229 Mine's about a beautiful blonde girl 77 00:03:35,264 --> 00:03:37,799 who gets perfect grades and is extremely popular. 78 00:03:37,834 --> 00:03:39,968 So it's a work of fantasy. 79 00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,035 Very hilarious. 80 00:03:41,071 --> 00:03:43,972 And what did Mr. No Talent write? 81 00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:46,340 Ah, just a little something I call 82 00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:48,076 The World's Greatest Movie. 83 00:03:48,111 --> 00:03:49,410 And that's a wrap. 84 00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:50,678 Cut. Print it. 85 00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:54,548 Man, what is wrong with him? 86 00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:58,252 Seven? 87 00:03:58,287 --> 00:03:59,453 A monkey? 88 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,387 Creamed corn?! 89 00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:01,455 No! 90 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:05,059 The answer is "George Washington"! 91 00:04:05,095 --> 00:04:06,427 Excuse me, Miss Fowl, 92 00:04:06,462 --> 00:04:09,296 we have a call from Quentin Smithee in Hollywood. 93 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,233 He's chosen the winner of the screenplay contest. 94 00:04:12,268 --> 00:04:13,300 Yes! 95 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,268 Quentin, baby. 96 00:04:14,303 --> 00:04:15,269 Sheen here. 97 00:04:15,304 --> 00:04:16,838 I knew you'd love it. 98 00:04:16,873 --> 00:04:19,240 What do you think about the title? 99 00:04:19,275 --> 00:04:20,508 "Jimmy Won, You Imbecile"? 100 00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:21,809 That's a dumb title! 101 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,611 Give me that. 102 00:04:23,647 --> 00:04:24,979 Hello. 103 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,347 Thanks, Mr. Smithee. 104 00:04:26,382 --> 00:04:27,348 Okay... 105 00:04:27,383 --> 00:04:28,315 See you soon. 106 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,316 Ciao. 107 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,886 Hmm, seems I won the contest. 108 00:04:31,921 --> 00:04:35,056 Anything you'd like to say... Cindy? 109 00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:36,991 I'm very happy for you. 110 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:40,695 FOWL: Cindy, stop clawing your desk! 111 00:04:42,165 --> 00:04:47,434 ( people jabbering ) 112 00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:50,071 Now that you're a big Hollywood screenwriter, 113 00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:52,874 are you going to remember us little people? 114 00:04:52,909 --> 00:04:55,009 And your name is, uh... 115 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,344 ( whining ) 116 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,713 Oh, I'm just kidding. 117 00:04:58,748 --> 00:05:01,182 It's Rob, right? 118 00:05:02,518 --> 00:05:04,118 My name is Quentin Smithee, 119 00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:06,821 and I'm here to rock your cinematic world. 120 00:05:06,856 --> 00:05:09,390 ( cheering ) 121 00:05:09,425 --> 00:05:11,458 Mr. Neutron, let me just say that this is 122 00:05:11,494 --> 00:05:13,928 the best action-adventure- science-fiction-fantasy- 123 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:16,597 martial arts-historical-romance script I've ever read. 124 00:05:16,632 --> 00:05:17,699 Thanks! 125 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,201 And I have a surprise for you all. 126 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,503 I'm shooting the entire movie in Retroville. 127 00:05:22,538 --> 00:05:24,038 ( collective gasp ) 128 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:27,875 But Mr. Smithee, my story takes place in London, 129 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,678 the Atlantic Ocean, a mythical world and Texas. 130 00:05:30,714 --> 00:05:33,081 Retroville doesn't look like any of those. 131 00:05:33,116 --> 00:05:35,482 It's called paint, cheap and in a can. 132 00:05:35,518 --> 00:05:36,650 As far as casting, 133 00:05:36,686 --> 00:05:39,486 this script is too real for actors, 134 00:05:39,522 --> 00:05:42,123 so I'll use the actual residents of Retroville. 135 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:43,390 ( collective gasp ) 136 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:48,830 I want you, you, you, you and... you. 137 00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,431 I'm in the movie, too? 138 00:05:50,466 --> 00:05:51,733 This is so great! 139 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,067 I'm a movie star! 140 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,402 I'll be bigger than Erik Estrada. 141 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,838 Now, for my crew: 142 00:05:56,873 --> 00:05:59,406 Who wants to spend long hours for no money 143 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,142 doing whatever I tell you to? 144 00:06:01,177 --> 00:06:02,543 CROWD: Me! I do! I do! 145 00:06:02,578 --> 00:06:04,612 See you on set tomorrow at 6:00. 146 00:06:06,983 --> 00:06:09,516 Please let me be in your movie. 147 00:06:09,552 --> 00:06:10,918 I'll do anything-- anything! 148 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,954 Sure, you can be... Donut Boy. 149 00:06:12,989 --> 00:06:14,622 Now get off my car. 150 00:06:14,657 --> 00:06:18,359 Is the movie called The Adventures of Donut Boy? 151 00:06:18,394 --> 00:06:20,728 No, you bring donuts to the set. 152 00:06:20,764 --> 00:06:22,563 Now, get off my car! 153 00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:26,267 I pretend to be Donut Boy, 154 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,136 but actually I'm an undercover cop 155 00:06:28,171 --> 00:06:31,205 who lives by his own rules-- I love it! 156 00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:33,841 Can you drop me off at my house? 157 00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:36,210 Uh... this is fine. 158 00:06:36,246 --> 00:06:37,845 See you tomorrow! 159 00:06:50,626 --> 00:06:54,829 Libby, you look ten years younger in this makeup. 160 00:06:54,864 --> 00:06:57,298 What?! I don't want to look one. 161 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,600 Oh, these costumes are scrumptious! 162 00:06:59,635 --> 00:07:02,270 You just can't go wrong with basic black. 163 00:07:02,305 --> 00:07:04,272 Ready to make some magic, people? 164 00:07:04,307 --> 00:07:05,273 Hook them up. 165 00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:06,974 Bolbi hooking up. 166 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,510 Okay, okay, now, now for this scene, right, 167 00:07:09,545 --> 00:07:12,180 you'll be suspended on microscopic safety wires. 168 00:07:12,215 --> 00:07:15,316 Uh, shouldn't we be using stunt people for this? 169 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,384 What, you mean fake it? 170 00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,054 No way, cool actors do their own stunts. 171 00:07:20,089 --> 00:07:21,722 I don't want to be cool. 172 00:07:21,757 --> 00:07:24,058 This scene is supposed to take place 173 00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:25,793 on a ship in the Atlantic Ocean. 174 00:07:25,829 --> 00:07:26,794 And? 175 00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,162 We're on a roof. 176 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,530 He not only writes, 177 00:07:29,565 --> 00:07:30,497 he has eyeballs. 178 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,498 What a find! 179 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,634 Bolbi say, "Quiet, set!" 180 00:07:33,669 --> 00:07:34,936 Light go on! 181 00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:36,137 Camera roll! 182 00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:38,906 Mr. Smithee, how do I start this thing? 183 00:07:38,942 --> 00:07:40,208 I have no idea. 184 00:07:40,243 --> 00:07:42,576 Just keep pushing buttons until something happens. 185 00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:43,644 And... 186 00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:44,645 Um, director dude, 187 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,948 I'm picking up a weird gurgling sound. 188 00:07:46,983 --> 00:07:47,949 Cut! 189 00:07:47,984 --> 00:07:49,984 So I didn't have any breakfast. 190 00:07:50,019 --> 00:07:52,653 I was kind of nervous about the movie... 191 00:07:52,688 --> 00:07:53,687 Donut Boy! 192 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,923 HUGH: Are you ready for my scene? 193 00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:57,491 Okay, I've been practicing-- listen. 194 00:07:57,526 --> 00:08:01,795 I got your cream-filled, double-glazed right here. 195 00:08:01,831 --> 00:08:03,464 Yeah. Feed it! 196 00:08:03,499 --> 00:08:05,499 Ow. 197 00:08:05,534 --> 00:08:06,901 Hmm... 198 00:08:08,271 --> 00:08:10,137 You, go jump in a lake. 199 00:08:10,173 --> 00:08:12,740 To practice for the big underwater scene? Gotcha. 200 00:08:12,775 --> 00:08:15,176 And action! 201 00:08:15,211 --> 00:08:17,879 Zero, you are the chosen one. 202 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,214 The world is a computer simulation. 203 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,985 Now, let's take a cruise on this brand new ocean liner! 204 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,720 Forget the cruise-- today we fight. 205 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:32,260 ( grunting ) 206 00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:33,527 ( groaning ) 207 00:08:36,032 --> 00:08:37,865 ( screaming ) 208 00:08:37,901 --> 00:08:38,966 ( gasping ) 209 00:08:40,136 --> 00:08:41,502 Quick, quick, grab hands! 210 00:08:41,537 --> 00:08:44,738 He's got sticky doughnut stuff all over him! 211 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,640 ( screaming continuing ) 212 00:08:46,675 --> 00:08:47,909 Hurry up, Jimmy! 213 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:52,380 ( whirring ) 214 00:08:54,217 --> 00:08:56,450 ( grunting ) 215 00:08:56,485 --> 00:08:57,418 Ow... 216 00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:58,852 That was unsettling. 217 00:08:58,888 --> 00:09:01,555 Another few seconds and we'd have been toast. 218 00:09:01,590 --> 00:09:04,225 Yeah, not the good kind of toast either-- 219 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:07,594 with the chewy crust and real butter on the top... 220 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,964 You think Smithee knows what he's doing? 221 00:09:09,999 --> 00:09:11,198 Of course he does! 222 00:09:11,234 --> 00:09:14,068 You guys just don't know how true artists work. 223 00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:16,904 What a shame. So glad no one got hurt. 224 00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:19,140 Accidents will happen. Isn't movie making thrilling? 225 00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:20,808 Okay, moving on! Next scene. 226 00:09:20,843 --> 00:09:23,244 Bolbi say, move, people! 227 00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:25,046 Time is the money! 228 00:09:31,854 --> 00:09:36,290 SMITHEE: Okay, okay, now, in this scene you begin a quest 229 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:40,027 to find the mystical and all-powerful Lord of the Rugs. 230 00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:42,330 Uh, this scene was supposed to take place 231 00:09:42,365 --> 00:09:45,666 on a misty mountaintop with everyone riding white stallions. 232 00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:48,002 Yeah, yeah, but when I read it, 233 00:09:48,037 --> 00:09:49,570 it just screamed "roller coaster." 234 00:09:49,605 --> 00:09:51,572 But when I wrote it... 235 00:09:51,607 --> 00:09:53,007 Oh, writer versus director... 236 00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:55,609 Hmm, I win. Hey, wait a minute. 237 00:09:55,644 --> 00:09:57,311 This is a love scene? 238 00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,181 I have to kiss... Neutron! 239 00:10:00,216 --> 00:10:01,515 Bolbi say shoot film! 240 00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:04,485 HUGH: I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Smithee. 241 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,588 ( in high voice ): We wants it. We needs it. 242 00:10:07,623 --> 00:10:10,524 We must have the precious doughnut ring. 243 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,826 No, no, master, not listening. 244 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,760 I hate you. 245 00:10:13,796 --> 00:10:15,396 I hate you, too. 246 00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:16,497 Donut Boy, take a hike! 247 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,732 So I look sweaty for the action scenes?! 248 00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:19,800 Love it! 249 00:10:19,835 --> 00:10:20,834 You planned this all along, Neutron. 250 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:21,835 You wanted to kiss me. 251 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,670 Hey, hey, hey, I didn't know 252 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,940 any of us were going to be in this movie. 253 00:10:26,976 --> 00:10:29,810 But make sure you do justice to the material. 254 00:10:29,845 --> 00:10:31,245 Just remember I'm acting. 255 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,546 I'm not enjoying this. 256 00:10:32,581 --> 00:10:34,148 And action! 257 00:10:34,183 --> 00:10:36,317 ( roller coaster rumbling ) 258 00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:40,021 One rug to rule them all, one rug to bind them, 259 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,555 one rug to bring them all 260 00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:43,657 and one rug to cover up that spot 261 00:10:43,692 --> 00:10:45,559 in the living room. 262 00:10:45,594 --> 00:10:47,028 Kiss me, my love, 263 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,330 before we are attacked by dinosaurs, 264 00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:51,732 aliens, pirates and gladiators! 265 00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:54,835 Wait! Stop! What?! 266 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:56,003 Oh, you big-headed... 267 00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:58,105 Oh, I was in the moment! 268 00:10:58,141 --> 00:11:01,342 We're about to fly off the tracks! 269 00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:02,476 Hold on! 270 00:11:03,779 --> 00:11:05,312 Goddard, deploy crash pad. 271 00:11:05,348 --> 00:11:06,380 ( barks ) 272 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,916 ( screaming ) 273 00:11:11,820 --> 00:11:13,554 Everybody, jump on three! 274 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:15,089 Where's my stunt double? 275 00:11:15,124 --> 00:11:17,091 One, two, three... 276 00:11:17,126 --> 00:11:18,459 ( screaming ) 277 00:11:19,462 --> 00:11:20,661 Oh, are you okay? 278 00:11:20,696 --> 00:11:22,729 I'm so sorry; heads will roll. 279 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,465 See you tomorrow-- bring smiles. 280 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,400 We just almost got killed again. 281 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,303 If it wasn't for the free food, I'd quit! 282 00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:32,339 You can't quit my movie, I mean, our movie. 283 00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:34,275 Who is this Quentin Smithee, anyway? 284 00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:36,210 Has anyone ever heard of him? 285 00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:38,812 Of course-- he's very famous. 286 00:11:38,847 --> 00:11:41,549 He made that movie... you know, 287 00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:44,185 with that actor, and it had that scene. 288 00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:47,054 Goddard, data check: Quentin Smithee. 289 00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:48,222 ( barks ) 290 00:11:48,257 --> 00:11:49,756 LIBBY: "No match." 291 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:53,160 He's a young, fresh, undiscovered talent? 292 00:11:58,033 --> 00:12:00,867 SMITHEE: Darn that Jimmy Neutron! 293 00:12:00,903 --> 00:12:02,869 Well, another little "accident" 294 00:12:02,905 --> 00:12:05,072 on the set will take care of that. 295 00:12:05,108 --> 00:12:07,975 I will destroy Jimmy Neutron and his friends 296 00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:09,477 or my name isn't... 297 00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:15,048 Professor Finbar Calamitous. 298 00:12:15,084 --> 00:12:20,488 ( laughing maniacally ) 299 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,892 Ho-ho-ho. 300 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:33,367 ( laughing maniacally ) 301 00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:35,369 Pretending to make a movie 302 00:12:35,404 --> 00:12:39,973 to get rid of Jimmy Neutron and his pesky friends is genius. 303 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:44,845 They ruined my plans before, but they will not ruin this one. 304 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:45,946 ( gasps ) 305 00:12:45,981 --> 00:12:46,947 Just a... 306 00:12:46,982 --> 00:12:48,682 Oh, um... ( clears throat ) 307 00:12:48,717 --> 00:12:50,618 ( in deep voice ): Just a minute! 308 00:12:50,653 --> 00:12:52,553 ( machine whirring ) 309 00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:56,490 JIMMY: Mr. Smithee, 310 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,824 we have a little problem. 311 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,393 The other actors want to quit. 312 00:12:59,428 --> 00:13:00,727 Why? 313 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:03,130 It was either falling off the 40-story building 314 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,199 or almost crashing on the roller coaster. 315 00:13:05,234 --> 00:13:06,833 Oh, what a bunch of babies! 316 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,770 I know-- I told them making great art can be dangerous, 317 00:13:09,805 --> 00:13:10,971 but they won't listen. 318 00:13:11,006 --> 00:13:13,274 I'll speak to the others. 319 00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:16,043 SMITHEE: Okay, you guys, look. 320 00:13:16,078 --> 00:13:19,280 I know you've almost been killed twice in the past 24 hours. 321 00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:22,082 But that was the past-- it's a new day, a new scene. 322 00:13:22,117 --> 00:13:23,116 Any questions? 323 00:13:23,152 --> 00:13:24,385 Um, yes. 324 00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:26,820 Are you going to finish that croissant? 325 00:13:26,855 --> 00:13:28,355 Knock yourself out. 326 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,724 SMITHEE: Let me assure you 327 00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:34,027 that nothing can possibly go wrong in this next scene, 328 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,230 because it's a big musical number. 329 00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:37,631 We get to sing and dance? 330 00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:39,032 And shake our tail feathers? 331 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,935 Hold on-- there's no musical number in my script. 332 00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:42,969 Studio wanted it. 333 00:13:43,005 --> 00:13:44,071 You'll love it. 334 00:13:44,106 --> 00:13:45,105 HUGH: Hey, Quentin! 335 00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:46,507 Is this the scene 336 00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:48,975 where Donut Boy sings the Donut Boy theme song? 337 00:13:49,011 --> 00:13:51,245 ♪ Who's the super-cool cop ♪ 338 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,913 ♪ That always gets the bad guys ♪ 339 00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:54,415 ( in falsetto ): ♪ Donut Boy ♪ 340 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:56,250 ( in deep voice ): That's me, yeah. 341 00:13:56,285 --> 00:14:01,121 ♪ He brings a delicious assortment of sweet delights ♪ 342 00:14:01,156 --> 00:14:02,323 ♪ Donut Boy! ♪ 343 00:14:02,358 --> 00:14:03,990 Got a creamy filling. 344 00:14:04,026 --> 00:14:05,359 ( song ends ) 345 00:14:06,529 --> 00:14:09,062 No, this is the scene where you get lost! 346 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,798 Donut Boy goes missing to increase the suspense? 347 00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:12,999 I love it! 348 00:14:13,035 --> 00:14:13,967 Bye-bye now. 349 00:14:14,002 --> 00:14:15,836 All right, let's do this! 350 00:14:15,871 --> 00:14:17,371 Five, six, seven, eight! 351 00:14:17,406 --> 00:14:23,944 ( music playing, lights turning on with beat ) 352 00:14:23,979 --> 00:14:26,947 LIBBY: ♪ Come on, boys, we've got to stop that ghost ♪ 353 00:14:28,251 --> 00:14:29,750 ♪ And save the day. ♪ 354 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:33,520 ♪ Halt the alien invasion or we'll be toast ♪ 355 00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:35,956 ♪ And save the day. ♪ 356 00:14:35,991 --> 00:14:37,991 ♪ Destroy the sinkhole forming lava ♪ 357 00:14:38,026 --> 00:14:39,526 ♪ Before the cyborgs march. ♪ 358 00:14:39,562 --> 00:14:42,996 ♪ Get rid of the mummies, save the seven dwarfs. ♪ 359 00:14:43,031 --> 00:14:45,766 ♪ Win the big fight at the coliseum ♪ 360 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:49,403 ♪ Put the dead guys back in the mausoleum ♪ 361 00:14:49,438 --> 00:14:52,339 ♪ Blow up the shark and find the ark ♪ 362 00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:54,174 ♪ And save... ♪ 363 00:14:54,209 --> 00:14:55,876 ♪ The... ♪ 364 00:14:55,911 --> 00:14:59,446 ♪ Day... ♪ 365 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,681 Yah-cha-cha-cha! 366 00:15:00,716 --> 00:15:02,416 ♪ ♪ ♪ 367 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:07,621 ( music pauses, short drum solo ) 368 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:08,922 ( music resumes ) 369 00:15:08,957 --> 00:15:11,592 ( softly ): And now for the big finish. 370 00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:17,130 ( laughs evilly ) 371 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:18,732 ( blades ring ) 372 00:15:18,768 --> 00:15:19,800 ( all screaming ) 373 00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:22,269 ( blades whirring ) 374 00:15:23,372 --> 00:15:26,807 ( all screaming ) 375 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,717 Stay down! 376 00:15:36,752 --> 00:15:38,752 I can take them out with my watch! 377 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,323 ( all sigh ) 378 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:46,259 ( as Calamitous ): Curse that Jimmy and his inventions. 379 00:15:46,295 --> 00:15:49,697 How hard can it be to eliminate five obnoxious kids? 380 00:15:49,732 --> 00:15:50,931 ( as Smithee ): Sorry! 381 00:15:50,966 --> 00:15:52,733 Those hats must have been left over 382 00:15:52,768 --> 00:15:54,000 from When Hats Attack. 383 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,869 I am out of here! 384 00:15:55,904 --> 00:15:58,205 Your script is not worth getting killed over. 385 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,841 Yeah-- maybe wounded, but not killed! 386 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,443 The odds of another accident 387 00:16:02,478 --> 00:16:06,880 happening are 1,456,782 to one. 388 00:16:06,915 --> 00:16:09,049 Hmm... 389 00:16:09,084 --> 00:16:10,050 Nah! 390 00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:11,852 But... but my movie... 391 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:15,088 Sorry, did I say "my" again? 392 00:16:15,123 --> 00:16:17,290 We can get other actors, right? 393 00:16:17,326 --> 00:16:19,827 No, no-- impossible-- they're irreplaceable. 394 00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:21,462 Cindy is Princess Butterface. 395 00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:23,597 No, we got to get all of them back. 396 00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:24,732 Okay, I'll get them. 397 00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:26,933 They're not going to stop this movie. 398 00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:28,201 We're not dead yet. 399 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:33,073 ( as Calamitous ): No, but you will be. 400 00:16:33,108 --> 00:16:38,512 ( laughing evilly ) 401 00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:43,384 Okay, I'm not saying I would have won the Oscar, 402 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,218 but I would have been nominated. 403 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:46,720 JIMMY: There you all are. 404 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,222 Look, I know we've had some minor mishaps, 405 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,824 but I'll guarantee your safety. 406 00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:52,726 We have to finish my movie. 407 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,127 ALL: Our movie! 408 00:16:54,162 --> 00:16:55,161 Right. 409 00:16:55,197 --> 00:16:57,097 Sam, another round on me. 410 00:16:57,132 --> 00:16:59,132 Come on, you could be movie stars. 411 00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:01,869 Think of it: limousines, swimming pools... 412 00:17:01,904 --> 00:17:02,870 Monkeys? 413 00:17:02,905 --> 00:17:04,137 By the barrel full. 414 00:17:04,172 --> 00:17:05,171 I'm in! 415 00:17:05,207 --> 00:17:06,273 No way-- forget it. 416 00:17:06,308 --> 00:17:08,108 We almost got killed three times. 417 00:17:08,143 --> 00:17:09,910 Just think of the Hollywood parties, 418 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,579 with those little weenies on the little buns. 419 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:15,148 Designers begging you to wear their clothes. 420 00:17:15,183 --> 00:17:18,719 Your face on a screen 20 feet high. 421 00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:19,753 And the monkeys! 422 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,455 Tell me about the monkeys, Jim. 423 00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:23,424 Monkeys as far as the eye can see. 424 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,926 So will you do it for your old pal? 425 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:29,129 Will you do it for the Jimster? 426 00:17:31,033 --> 00:17:32,866 ( all speaking softly ) 427 00:17:32,902 --> 00:17:33,901 ALL: No! 428 00:17:33,936 --> 00:17:35,168 CINDY: But-- 429 00:17:35,203 --> 00:17:37,337 we'll do it for the fame and fortune. 430 00:17:37,372 --> 00:17:38,338 And the monkeys! 431 00:17:38,373 --> 00:17:39,807 Are they spider monkeys? 432 00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:42,643 Can they open up bananas with their teeth? 433 00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:45,446 SMITHEE: Okay, okay, okay, 434 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,081 okay, okay, okay, okay-- the climax of our film. 435 00:17:48,116 --> 00:17:49,950 This is where you become magicians, 436 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,820 visit a dinosaur park and rescue the ruby slippers. 437 00:17:52,855 --> 00:17:53,754 ALL: What? 438 00:17:53,789 --> 00:17:54,488 He wrote it. 439 00:17:54,523 --> 00:17:55,456 I just direct. 440 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,690 All right, I decided 441 00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:59,059 to set this scene in the 13th century, 442 00:17:59,094 --> 00:18:00,861 and they didn't have watches, 443 00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:03,797 so I'll take this, and here's your magic wand. 444 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,866 This isn't left over from a movie called, 445 00:18:05,901 --> 00:18:08,368 When Sticks Shoot 50-Foot Flames, is it? 446 00:18:08,403 --> 00:18:10,571 Goddard, analyze. 447 00:18:13,642 --> 00:18:15,442 JIMMY: It's just a piece of wood. 448 00:18:15,478 --> 00:18:16,577 That reminds me. 449 00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:17,611 I know how sensitive 450 00:18:17,646 --> 00:18:19,179 a robotic dog's ears can be. 451 00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:20,146 You! 452 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,415 Get that mutt off the set! 453 00:18:22,451 --> 00:18:23,717 Striking the doggy! 454 00:18:23,752 --> 00:18:25,218 ( Goddard barking ) 455 00:18:25,253 --> 00:18:28,489 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay-- follow me. 456 00:18:29,892 --> 00:18:32,292 Uh... Quentin, I noticed you made 457 00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:34,327 some changes to this scene-- 458 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,163 87 to be exact-- and there's no ending. 459 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,600 Oh, yeah, there'll be an ending, trust me. 460 00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:41,502 But shouldn't we know what it is? 461 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,403 Oh... let's just have fun with it. 462 00:18:43,438 --> 00:18:44,872 Lights, camera, action! 463 00:18:45,841 --> 00:18:47,307 So, you are the evil one 464 00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:49,710 whose name is really hard to pronounce. 465 00:18:49,745 --> 00:18:53,847 Yes, and this is the end of you, Perry Bladder. 466 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,049 Klaatu Barada Nikto! 467 00:18:56,752 --> 00:18:57,784 ( remote beeping ) 468 00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:59,419 SMITHEE: Oh, crumpets! 469 00:18:59,454 --> 00:19:01,187 What's the matter with this? 470 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,689 Nothing ever works. 471 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:06,226 ( voice changes to Calamitous ): Oh, why can't I ever... 472 00:19:06,261 --> 00:19:08,128 Finish anything? 473 00:19:08,163 --> 00:19:11,264 The half-eaten croissant; he forgot to write an ending; 474 00:19:11,299 --> 00:19:12,933 no record of "Quentin Smithee"; 475 00:19:12,968 --> 00:19:15,769 he didn't know how to start the camera-- it's... 476 00:19:15,804 --> 00:19:18,539 Professor Finbar Calamitous. 477 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:25,612 And welcome to the last scene of the movie and your lives. 478 00:19:25,648 --> 00:19:27,347 ( laughing cruelly ) 479 00:19:27,382 --> 00:19:31,317 ( loud banging ) 480 00:19:31,353 --> 00:19:32,819 ( all screaming ) 481 00:19:32,855 --> 00:19:34,721 ( monster roaring ) 482 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,489 ( screaming ) 483 00:19:36,525 --> 00:19:38,659 ( laughing cruelly ) 484 00:19:40,829 --> 00:19:41,995 ( all shout ) 485 00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:46,033 HUGH: Quentin, baby! 486 00:19:46,068 --> 00:19:49,302 I'm back and I'm ready for my next big scene! 487 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,940 Gramps, have you seen Quentin around here? 488 00:19:52,975 --> 00:19:53,907 JIMMY: Help! 489 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,642 ( stammering ) 490 00:19:55,678 --> 00:19:56,810 Help! 491 00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:58,845 Ooh, I bet this is the scene 492 00:19:58,881 --> 00:20:01,014 where Donut Boy saves the day. 493 00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:04,885 HUGH: Come on, big, giant, uh, slither beast! 494 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:09,556 Taste the sugary fury of Donut Boy! 495 00:20:11,026 --> 00:20:13,359 Butch, you getting the good side? 496 00:20:13,395 --> 00:20:17,030 Donut Boy, you've made your last delivery. 497 00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:17,965 Wait a minute. 498 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:18,966 Donuts! 499 00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:20,100 No, thanks. 500 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,902 No, the gooey glaze of those donuts 501 00:20:21,937 --> 00:20:24,237 could short-circuit the wiring on that snake. 502 00:20:24,272 --> 00:20:26,773 Dad, throw your donuts in the snake's mouth! 503 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,375 I don't think my character would do that! 504 00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:31,144 All right, you're the writer. 505 00:20:31,179 --> 00:20:32,345 ( hissing ) 506 00:20:33,682 --> 00:20:36,984 Eat donuts, you fiend! 507 00:20:37,019 --> 00:20:38,018 Honey-glazed! 508 00:20:38,053 --> 00:20:39,052 Chocolate! 509 00:20:39,088 --> 00:20:40,420 Chocolate with sprinkles! 510 00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:42,823 Lemon custard! 511 00:20:44,059 --> 00:20:46,593 ( electricity zapping ) 512 00:20:48,563 --> 00:20:50,497 No! No, no, no, no! 513 00:20:50,532 --> 00:20:52,432 No! 514 00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:54,501 No...! 515 00:20:54,536 --> 00:20:55,702 Oof! 516 00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:57,638 I hate show business. 517 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:58,605 Oof! 518 00:20:58,641 --> 00:21:00,406 Cut! That's a wrap. 519 00:21:00,442 --> 00:21:01,875 ( laughing ) 520 00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:03,110 That was totally cool! 521 00:21:03,145 --> 00:21:05,445 Yeah, well, you know I'd love to stay and chat, 522 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,380 but I'd better get back to the house 523 00:21:07,415 --> 00:21:08,481 and wait for my fan mail. 524 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,117 ( straining ) 525 00:21:10,152 --> 00:21:12,452 Get me out of here! 526 00:21:12,487 --> 00:21:13,553 No, problem. 527 00:21:13,588 --> 00:21:15,255 I'll get you out there 528 00:21:15,290 --> 00:21:18,525 and back to your nice, warm jail cell! 529 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,263 I'll get you, Jimmy Neutron, 530 00:21:23,298 --> 00:21:26,199 and when I do, I'm going to do something really... 531 00:21:27,235 --> 00:21:28,468 Well, evil, of course. 532 00:21:28,503 --> 00:21:30,070 That goes without saying. 533 00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,707 I'll have to get back to you on the specifics. 534 00:21:34,677 --> 00:21:36,476 Well, it looks like Calamitous 535 00:21:36,511 --> 00:21:38,812 only did my screenplay to destroy us. 536 00:21:38,847 --> 00:21:41,548 I guess I don't have any artistic talent. 537 00:21:42,617 --> 00:21:43,917 ( all speaking softly ) 538 00:21:43,952 --> 00:21:44,918 ALL: Nope! 539 00:21:44,953 --> 00:21:45,986 Still, it's too bad 540 00:21:46,021 --> 00:21:47,721 we couldn't finish the movie. 541 00:21:47,756 --> 00:21:48,889 Hey, maybe we can. 542 00:21:48,924 --> 00:21:51,124 We still have the camera and film. 543 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,027 This time we'll do it exactly the way I wrote it. 544 00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,295 CINDY: No way! 545 00:21:55,330 --> 00:21:58,264 This time we do our movies. 546 00:21:59,501 --> 00:22:05,238 ( dramatic movie soundtrack playing ) 547 00:22:05,273 --> 00:22:08,575 Judy, my love, this ranch and all my llamas 548 00:22:08,610 --> 00:22:11,211 could be yours if you'd marry me. 549 00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:12,445 I can't. 550 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:16,316 I'm too blonde, too smart and too popular. 551 00:22:16,351 --> 00:22:18,384 ( Libby shouting and whooping ) 552 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:19,452 Hold up, y'all. 553 00:22:19,487 --> 00:22:20,653 Cappuccino Jones is here 554 00:22:20,689 --> 00:22:22,622 to bring the sass and kick out the jams. 555 00:22:22,657 --> 00:22:26,492 SHEEN: Behold, I am the Monkey King. ( circus music playing ) 556 00:22:26,528 --> 00:22:28,762 I command you all to dance! 557 00:22:28,797 --> 00:22:30,396 Dance, I say! 558 00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:31,631 Dance! 559 00:22:31,666 --> 00:22:35,969 ( monkeys screeching ) 560 00:22:45,047 --> 00:22:49,216 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 561 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,546 So what do you want me to say now? 562 00:23:20,582 --> 00:23:22,315 JIMMY: Got to blast!