Gotta Blast!
♪ From here to the stars, Fueled by Candy Bar's ♪
♪ Rides a kid with a knack for invention ♪
( gasps )
♪ With a super-powered mind, a mechanical canine ♪
( barks )
♪ He rescues the day from sure destruction ♪
Help!
♪ This is the theme song ♪
( screams )
♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪
( mechanical whirring )
( barking )
( yells )
Captioning sponsored by NICKELODEON
SHEEN: "Enter the completely 'legitimate'
Hollywood Screenplay Contest."
"Winning script will get made
by famous Hollywood director."
CARL: "If you can read this sign, you, too, can write a movie."
What a scam!
I can write a movie. Yeah. Me, too!
You would enter a lame contest like that?
Just because you couldn't enter it...
Why couldn't I?
Oh, please, when they were passing out creativity,
you were locked in the little nerds' room.
Remember his awful short story?
"Call it fate," Ursula said, finishing her pastrami sandwich.
"No," Lance said, "Call it binomial expansion."
( others scream with laughter )
And remember his painting?
( raucous laughter )
And remember his opera?
CARL: Don't even...
That was horrible.
Yeah, don't go there.
You rule math and science,
but have the creativity of a tree stump.
Oh, yeah?! We'll see about that.
Cut. Exit scene.
Fade out.
What's he talking about?
Got me-- that was creepy.
I'll show those guys.
How hard can it be to write a "screenplay?"
( screaming )
Wait a minute, I have to approach this scientifically.
Goddard, download the most successful movies
and let me watch them at hyperspeed.
( barks )
( fanfare and growling )
( mixture of voices ): I'm king of the...
Precious...
May the force be...
Home...
Box of chocolates...
There is no try...
Nemo!
To infinity and...
We left Kevin!
And your little dog, too!
Go to blast.
So, what's your movie about, Libs?
My movie's called Cappuccino Jones.
Hip Hop singer by day,
fashion designer FBI agent by night.
Well, my movie's about a handsome, buff llama rancher
who's in love with a beautiful older woman
named Judy.
Hey, isn't Jimmy's mom named Judy?
Uh... no, I made that name up.
I couldn't think of anything,
so I just stapled some pages of the phone book together.
I call it, Attack of the People Named Frank Johnson!
Mine's about a beautiful blonde girl
who gets perfect grades and is extremely popular.
So it's a work of fantasy.
Very hilarious.
And what did Mr. No Talent write?
Ah, just a little something I call
The World's Greatest Movie.
And that's a wrap.
Cut. Print it.
Man, what is wrong with him?
Seven?
A monkey?
Creamed corn?!
No!
The answer is "George Washington"!
Excuse me, Miss Fowl,
we have a call from Quentin Smithee in Hollywood.
He's chosen the winner of the screenplay contest.
Yes!
Quentin, baby.
Sheen here.
I knew you'd love it.
What do you think about the title?
"Jimmy Won, You Imbecile"?
That's a dumb title!
Give me that.
Hello.
Thanks, Mr. Smithee.
Okay...
See you soon.
Ciao.
Hmm, seems I won the contest.
Anything you'd like to say... Cindy?
I'm very happy for you.
FOWL: Cindy, stop clawing your desk!
( people jabbering )
Now that you're a big Hollywood screenwriter,
are you going to remember us little people?
And your name is, uh...
( whining )
Oh, I'm just kidding.
It's Rob, right?
My name is Quentin Smithee,
and I'm here to rock your cinematic world.
( cheering )
Mr. Neutron, let me just say that this is
the best action-adventure- science-fiction-fantasy-
martial arts-historical-romance script I've ever read.
Thanks!
And I have a surprise for you all.
I'm shooting the entire movie in Retroville.
( collective gasp )
But Mr. Smithee, my story takes place in London,
the Atlantic Ocean, a mythical world and Texas.
Retroville doesn't look like any of those.
It's called paint, cheap and in a can.
As far as casting,
this script is too real for actors,
so I'll use the actual residents of Retroville.
( collective gasp )
I want you, you, you, you and... you.
I'm in the movie, too?
This is so great!
I'm a movie star!
I'll be bigger than Erik Estrada.
Now, for my crew:
Who wants to spend long hours for no money
doing whatever I tell you to?
CROWD: Me! I do! I do!
See you on set tomorrow at 6:00.
Please let me be in your movie.
I'll do anything-- anything!
Sure, you can be... Donut Boy.
Now get off my car.
Is the movie called The Adventures of Donut Boy?
No, you bring donuts to the set.
Now, get off my car!
I pretend to be Donut Boy,
but actually I'm an undercover cop
who lives by his own rules-- I love it!
Can you drop me off at my house?
Uh... this is fine.
See you tomorrow!
Libby, you look ten years younger in this makeup.
What?! I don't want to look one.
Oh, these costumes are scrumptious!
You just can't go wrong with basic black.
Ready to make some magic, people?
Hook them up.
Bolbi hooking up.
Okay, okay, now, now for this scene, right,
you'll be suspended on microscopic safety wires.
Uh, shouldn't we be using stunt people for this?
What, you mean fake it?
No way, cool actors do their own stunts.
I don't want to be cool.
This scene is supposed to take place
on a ship in the Atlantic Ocean.
And?
We're on a roof.
He not only writes,
he has eyeballs.
What a find!
Bolbi say, "Quiet, set!"
Light go on!
Camera roll!
Mr. Smithee, how do I start this thing?
I have no idea.
Just keep pushing buttons until something happens.
And...
Um, director dude,
I'm picking up a weird gurgling sound.
Cut!
So I didn't have any breakfast.
I was kind of nervous about the movie...
Donut Boy!
HUGH: Are you ready for my scene?
Okay, I've been practicing-- listen.
I got your cream-filled, double-glazed right here.
Yeah. Feed it!
Ow.
Hmm...
You, go jump in a lake.
To practice for the big underwater scene? Gotcha.
And action!
Zero, you are the chosen one.
The world is a computer simulation.
Now, let's take a cruise on this brand new ocean liner!
Forget the cruise-- today we fight.
( grunting )
( groaning )
( screaming )
( gasping )
Quick, quick, grab hands!
He's got sticky doughnut stuff all over him!
( screaming continuing )
Hurry up, Jimmy!
( whirring )
( grunting )
Ow...
That was unsettling.
Another few seconds and we'd have been toast.
Yeah, not the good kind of toast either--
with the chewy crust and real butter on the top...
You think Smithee knows what he's doing?
Of course he does!
You guys just don't know how true artists work.
What a shame. So glad no one got hurt.
Accidents will happen. Isn't movie making thrilling?
Okay, moving on! Next scene.
Bolbi say, move, people!
Time is the money!
SMITHEE: Okay, okay, now, in this scene you begin a quest
to find the mystical and all-powerful Lord of the Rugs.
Uh, this scene was supposed to take place
on a misty mountaintop with everyone riding white stallions.
Yeah, yeah, but when I read it,
it just screamed "roller coaster."
But when I wrote it...
Oh, writer versus director...
Hmm, I win. Hey, wait a minute.
This is a love scene?
I have to kiss... Neutron!
Bolbi say shoot film!
HUGH: I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Smithee.
( in high voice ): We wants it. We needs it.
We must have the precious doughnut ring.
No, no, master, not listening.
I hate you.
I hate you, too.
Donut Boy, take a hike!
So I look sweaty for the action scenes?!
Love it!
You planned this all along, Neutron.
You wanted to kiss me.
Hey, hey, hey, I didn't know
any of us were going to be in this movie.
But make sure you do justice to the material.
Just remember I'm acting.
I'm not enjoying this.
And action!
( roller coaster rumbling )
One rug to rule them all, one rug to bind them,
one rug to bring them all
and one rug to cover up that spot
in the living room.
Kiss me, my love,
before we are attacked by dinosaurs,
aliens, pirates and gladiators!
Wait! Stop! What?!
Oh, you big-headed...
Oh, I was in the moment!
We're about to fly off the tracks!
Hold on!
Goddard, deploy crash pad.
( barks )
( screaming )
Everybody, jump on three!
Where's my stunt double?
One, two, three...
( screaming )
Oh, are you okay?
I'm so sorry; heads will roll.
See you tomorrow-- bring smiles.
We just almost got killed again.
If it wasn't for the free food, I'd quit!
You can't quit my movie, I mean, our movie.
Who is this Quentin Smithee, anyway?
Has anyone ever heard of him?
Of course-- he's very famous.
He made that movie... you know,
with that actor, and it had that scene.
Goddard, data check: Quentin Smithee.
( barks )
LIBBY: "No match."
He's a young, fresh, undiscovered talent?
SMITHEE: Darn that Jimmy Neutron!
Well, another little "accident"
on the set will take care of that.
I will destroy Jimmy Neutron and his friends
or my name isn't...
Professor Finbar Calamitous.
( laughing maniacally )
Ho-ho-ho.
( laughing maniacally )
Pretending to make a movie
to get rid of Jimmy Neutron and his pesky friends is genius.
They ruined my plans before, but they will not ruin this one.
( gasps )
Just a...
Oh, um... ( clears throat )
( in deep voice ): Just a minute!
( machine whirring )
JIMMY: Mr. Smithee,
we have a little problem.
The other actors want to quit.
Why?
It was either falling off the 40-story building
or almost crashing on the roller coaster.
Oh, what a bunch of babies!
I know-- I told them making great art can be dangerous,
but they won't listen.
I'll speak to the others.
SMITHEE: Okay, you guys, look.
I know you've almost been killed twice in the past 24 hours.
But that was the past-- it's a new day, a new scene.
Any questions?
Um, yes.
Are you going to finish that croissant?
Knock yourself out.
SMITHEE: Let me assure you
that nothing can possibly go wrong in this next scene,
because it's a big musical number.
We get to sing and dance?
And shake our tail feathers?
Hold on-- there's no musical number in my script.
Studio wanted it.
You'll love it.
HUGH: Hey, Quentin!
Is this the scene
where Donut Boy sings the Donut Boy theme song?
♪ Who's the super-cool cop ♪
♪ That always gets the bad guys ♪
( in falsetto ): ♪ Donut Boy ♪
( in deep voice ): That's me, yeah.
♪ He brings a delicious assortment of sweet delights ♪
♪ Donut Boy! ♪
Got a creamy filling.
( song ends )
No, this is the scene where you get lost!
Donut Boy goes missing to increase the suspense?
I love it!
Bye-bye now.
All right, let's do this!
Five, six, seven, eight!
( music playing, lights turning on with beat )
LIBBY: ♪ Come on, boys, we've got to stop that ghost ♪
♪ And save the day. ♪
♪ Halt the alien invasion or we'll be toast ♪
♪ And save the day. ♪
♪ Destroy the sinkhole forming lava ♪
♪ Before the cyborgs march. ♪
♪ Get rid of the mummies, save the seven dwarfs. ♪
♪ Win the big fight at the coliseum ♪
♪ Put the dead guys back in the mausoleum ♪
♪ Blow up the shark and find the ark ♪
♪ And save... ♪
♪ The... ♪
♪ Day... ♪
Yah-cha-cha-cha!
♪ ♪ ♪
( music pauses, short drum solo )
( music resumes )
( softly ): And now for the big finish.
( laughs evilly )
( blades ring )
( all screaming )
( blades whirring )
( all screaming )
Stay down!
I can take them out with my watch!
( all sigh )
( as Calamitous ): Curse that Jimmy and his inventions.
How hard can it be to eliminate five obnoxious kids?
( as Smithee ): Sorry!
Those hats must have been left over
from When Hats Attack.
I am out of here!
Your script is not worth getting killed over.
Yeah-- maybe wounded, but not killed!
The odds of another accident
happening are 1,456,782 to one.
Hmm...
Nah!
But... but my movie...
Sorry, did I say "my" again?
We can get other actors, right?
No, no-- impossible-- they're irreplaceable.
Cindy is Princess Butterface.
No, we got to get all of them back.
Okay, I'll get them.
They're not going to stop this movie.
We're not dead yet.
( as Calamitous ): No, but you will be.
( laughing evilly )
Okay, I'm not saying I would have won the Oscar,
but I would have been nominated.
JIMMY: There you all are.
Look, I know we've had some minor mishaps,
but I'll guarantee your safety.
We have to finish my movie.
ALL: Our movie!
Right.
Sam, another round on me.
Come on, you could be movie stars.
Think of it: limousines, swimming pools...
Monkeys?
By the barrel full.
I'm in!
No way-- forget it.
We almost got killed three times.
Just think of the Hollywood parties,
with those little weenies on the little buns.
Designers begging you to wear their clothes.
Your face on a screen 20 feet high.
And the monkeys!
Tell me about the monkeys, Jim.
Monkeys as far as the eye can see.
So will you do it for your old pal?
Will you do it for the Jimster?
( all speaking softly )
ALL: No!
CINDY: But--
we'll do it for the fame and fortune.
And the monkeys!
Are they spider monkeys?
Can they open up bananas with their teeth?
SMITHEE: Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay-- the climax of our film.
This is where you become magicians,
visit a dinosaur park and rescue the ruby slippers.
ALL: What?
He wrote it.
I just direct.
All right, I decided
to set this scene in the 13th century,
and they didn't have watches,
so I'll take this, and here's your magic wand.
This isn't left over from a movie called,
When Sticks Shoot 50-Foot Flames, is it?
Goddard, analyze.
JIMMY: It's just a piece of wood.
That reminds me.
I know how sensitive
a robotic dog's ears can be.
You!
Get that mutt off the set!
Striking the doggy!
( Goddard barking )
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay-- follow me.
Uh... Quentin, I noticed you made
some changes to this scene--
87 to be exact-- and there's no ending.
Oh, yeah, there'll be an ending, trust me.
But shouldn't we know what it is?
Oh... let's just have fun with it.
Lights, camera, action!
So, you are the evil one
whose name is really hard to pronounce.
Yes, and this is the end of you, Perry Bladder.
Klaatu Barada Nikto!
( remote beeping )
SMITHEE: Oh, crumpets!
What's the matter with this?
Nothing ever works.
( voice changes to Calamitous ): Oh, why can't I ever...
Finish anything?
The half-eaten croissant; he forgot to write an ending;
no record of "Quentin Smithee";
he didn't know how to start the camera-- it's...
Professor Finbar Calamitous.
And welcome to the last scene of the movie and your lives.
( laughing cruelly )
( loud banging )
( all screaming )
( monster roaring )
( screaming )
( laughing cruelly )
( all shout )
HUGH: Quentin, baby!
I'm back and I'm ready for my next big scene!
Gramps, have you seen Quentin around here?
JIMMY: Help!
( stammering )
Help!
Ooh, I bet this is the scene
where Donut Boy saves the day.
HUGH: Come on, big, giant, uh, slither beast!
Taste the sugary fury of Donut Boy!
Butch, you getting the good side?
Donut Boy, you've made your last delivery.
Wait a minute.
Donuts!
No, thanks.
No, the gooey glaze of those donuts
could short-circuit the wiring on that snake.
Dad, throw your donuts in the snake's mouth!
I don't think my character would do that!
All right, you're the writer.
( hissing )
Eat donuts, you fiend!
Honey-glazed!
Chocolate!
Chocolate with sprinkles!
Lemon custard!
( electricity zapping )
No! No, no, no, no!
No!
No...!
Oof!
I hate show business.
Oof!
Cut! That's a wrap.
( laughing )
That was totally cool!
Yeah, well, you know I'd love to stay and chat,
but I'd better get back to the house
and wait for my fan mail.
( straining )
Get me out of here!
No, problem.
I'll get you out there
and back to your nice, warm jail cell!
I'll get you, Jimmy Neutron,
and when I do, I'm going to do something really...
Well, evil, of course.
That goes without saying.
I'll have to get back to you on the specifics.
Well, it looks like Calamitous
only did my screenplay to destroy us.
I guess I don't have any artistic talent.
( all speaking softly )
ALL: Nope!
Still, it's too bad
we couldn't finish the movie.
Hey, maybe we can.
We still have the camera and film.
This time we'll do it exactly the way I wrote it.
CINDY: No way!
This time we do our movies.
( dramatic movie soundtrack playing )
Judy, my love, this ranch and all my llamas
could be yours if you'd marry me.
I can't.
I'm too blonde, too smart and too popular.
( Libby shouting and whooping )
Hold up, y'all.
Cappuccino Jones is here
to bring the sass and kick out the jams.
SHEEN: Behold, I am the Monkey King. ( circus music playing )
I command you all to dance!
Dance, I say!
Dance!
( monkeys screeching )
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
So what do you want me to say now?
JIMMY: Got to blast!