( mechanical whirring )
( barking )
( yells )
Captioning sponsored by NICKELODEON
( voices murmuring )
What a great robe.
I like the belt, too.
( shushing )
( gong rings loudly )
( screeching and hooting )
( joints cracking )
( grunting and thudding )
( murmuring )
( grunting )
( laughs raucously )
I am a flying boy, so graceful.
Surely you're all jealous.
( grunting and thudding )
( applause )
This has been but a small demonstration
of my kung fu ability.
Surely you must now make me, Yoo Yee, your chosen one.
( laughter )
Why do you make laughing from your mouths?
Because we already have a chosen one,
the legendary one who puts leg behind head.
But he is no match for me!
You even say he is an idiot.
He is, but still... the leg behind the head.
( groaning in exasperation )
Oh... cramp, cramp.
Okay, that was embarrassing.
This meeting is adjourned.
Wait!
There is one way.
It is written that if the Chosen One
is defeated in pitched battle, his conqueror takes his place.
Hmm...
now I am quietly pondering something.
( slurping )
Tell me again
why you put your leg behind your head
to drink milkshakes.
It relaxes me.
Some people bite their nails,
I contort myself while drinking milk products.
You asked.
Hola, guys.
JIMMY: Hi, Libby.
Wow, you look like one of those "sinoritas."
Thanks. Nick and I are doing
the hip-hop tango in the school dance show.
What?!
Sheen!
What do you mean?
You're my girlfriend!
Sheen, first of all, I'm not your girlfriend.
Second of all, we're just dancing.
Fickletude, thy name is Libby!
What self-respecting guy
would want to be in a stupid dance show anyway?
Oh, I would, I would!
I said "self-respecting guy."
Well, I guess it's your loss, Libby.
I'm a much better hip-hop tango dancer than Nick is.
Look, there's Nick now.
( Nick screams )
( crash )
Sheen, you've got yourself a partner.
Huzzah!
See you tonight at 7:00.
( laughing uproariously )
( begins laughing )
Hey... why are we laughing?
Sheen, you can't dance to save your life.
( laughing ): Oh, right...
Hey... wait, that ain't funny.
It's hilarious!
Man, you wouldn't get me in a dance recital,
not even if I was the last kid on Earth.
Hey, Cindy.
Did you want something?
Oh... uh... no.
Jimmy, you got to help me.
Libby will never be my girlfriend
if she thinks I lied.
You lied.
Whose side are you on?!
Please, can't you use
some of your crazy science mumbo-jumbo to help me?
You know, Jim, you do have that one machine...
The Ultra-Shock Dance Teacher 8000?
I suppose I could...
Nah!
You've got to, Jimmy.
The only respectable dance I know is the crazy porpoise!
Here it goes.
( squeaking )
Okay, okay, just... stop doing that!
Can do.
( squeaks )
SHEEN: You're the best, Jimmy.
Once Libby gets a load of my new steps,
she'll beg me to be her boyfriend.
If you guys go on a date, can I come?
Maybe we could play board games,
make dinner and talk and laugh...
I think we're busy that night.
Okay, maybe another time.
Ready for your download?
SHEEN: Hold on...
just give me a minute to...
( screaming )
So... how do you feel?
Kind of funny.
Goddard, cue the music.
( barks )
( tango begins playing )
Whoa, Sheen, I...
CARL: Whoa, oh, boy.
Check me out.
I'm a hip-hop-tangoing fool!
Sheen, be careful!
( Carl screams as something clicks )
Hey Carl, I didn't know you played castanets.
That was my scapula.
JIMMY: The download is timed to wear off in 24 hours,
more than enough time to dance tonight's show.
And into Libby's heart.
( helicopter blades whirring )
What...?!
Hey...
Jimmy!
Help!
What in the world?
Goddard, execute emergency plan 372-Z.
( barks )
( Sheen yelling )
( screaming )
( barks )
Jimmy...
were those n-n-ninjas?
Uh-huh.
What the heck did they want with me?
I don't know.
What do you mean he escaped?!
Hold on, I must talk to myself.
This Chosen One is craftier than I thought.
Okay, I'm back and I have a plan...
JIMMY: Sheen, think.
Do you have any mortal enemies with access to ninjas?
No, but I have a half-cousin with access to the Internet.
I've developed a plan in case the ninjas return.
What are those?
Sulfur pellets.
If the ninjas come back,
I'll activate the pellets remotely.
The gas should keep them dizzy and confused
long enough for us to grab them.
Whatever, dude.
MISS FOWL: Sheen, you're late!
Jimmy, I don't have you on my list of dancers.
I'm not in the show,
but it's important that...
Uh-uh, no buts unless you're shaking yours tonight!
There you are, Neutron.
I know you think the show is...
Need a partner?
I'm your man.
You... are?
( yells )
Hey! Where do you...
It's okay, Cindy and I are in the show!
So all you need to do is catch me as I come down
from my triple-axel, midair Betsy flip.
Uh, Neutron? Yeah, Betsy flip, sure, I got it.
Carl, are you monitoring suspicious activity?
Mmm, yup.
All clear, Jim.
( applause )
Thank you, thank you, wonderful.
Welcome to our first annual Lindbergh Festival of Dance!
Our first performer will be Bolbi Stroganofski
and his sister, Ignishka, in their salute to slap dancing.
♪ Slap, slap, slap ♪
♪ Clap, clap, clap ♪
♪ Slap, slap, slap ♪
♪ Clap, clap, clap... ♪
Thank you, kids, that was fabulous.
Bolbi, you might want to work on that split-- oochy.
Okay, next up we have Libby Folfax and Sheen Estevez
with the hip-hop tango.
( music begins playing )
Ninjas.
( gas hissing )
( Sheen coughing )
Wow!
This is better than Broadway.
Sheen?
Jimmy, over here.
Good, you got Sheen;
b-but where are the ninjas?
Yeah, and where's Libby?
Libby?
Oh, no!
The ninjas took Libby.
Neutron, where are you going?
We're on next.
What? You're not afraid of a few ninjas, are you?
Neutron!
I can't believe it;
my sweet, sweet Libby's been kidnapped
and it's all my fault.
This video was at the crime scene.
Hopefully there will be some clues.
( gong resounds )
Greetings Chosen One.
By now my ninjas have taken your girlfriend...
Not my girlfriend. Shh.
She's not.
If you ever want to see her again,
you must come to Shangri-Llama
and fight me kung fu style.
Okay, I think that's it.
See you soon...
if you dare!
( laughs )
Why does that monk kid want to fight me?
I don't know any chop-socky stuff.
We have no choice if we want to get Libby back.
Ready, Carl?
Pretty much.
Whoa, hold up-- ready for what?
I've downloaded the basics of kung fu
onto a disk compatible with the Dance Teacher 8000.
Now I'll just download them into you.
Okay, just give me a second...
( screaming )
Smooth.
Now to see if it worked.
Sheen, think fast!
Ow!
You were supposed to chop it.
Try telling me before you throw it!
Ow! Carl!
Sheen, think fast.
Awesome.
Wing more stuff at me.
( grunts )
Here you go.
( squawking )
Let's go kick some monk.
I think this is Shangri-Llama.
It's Shangri-Llama, all right.
Check it out!
MONKS ( chanting ): Chanting in unison.
SHEEN: Long time, no see.
How's everybody doing?
MONKS: Fine.
Still not wearing pants, I see.
MONKS: Uh-huh.
You guys rule!
HEAD MONK: Greetings.
We have been expecting you.
Yeah, greetings.
What can you tell us about our friend Libby?
I know no Libby.
I know only that the Chosen One must fight Yoo Yee in 48 hours.
And...
Should be a good fight.
Your monk snatches our friend,
threatens the Chosen One and that's all you say?
Oh, right, I almost forgot.
Try not to get your blood everywhere.
We just cleaned ring last Thursday.
Come on, guys.
( Yoo Yee laughing )
Just like I planned.
The Chosen One and his friends have come to rescue you.
They will, too, and I'm telling them what you've done to me.
What have I done?
I'm keeping you in my sister's room.
Yeah, and her CD collection is totally beat.
Plus, ponies on the wallpaper?
Please! What am I, five?
( growls ): I must speak to myself again.
When I am Chosen One, I will command respect,
not like now, where I command none.
Don't try to escape.
You are locked in with locks on the door
that create a locked environment.
Ooh.
Now, that's what I'm talking about.
( Carl gasping )
My DNA tracker says Libby's being held somewhere
on the other side of this wall.
We're going to steal her back before anybody has to fight.
CARL: Whoa!
( ninjas whooping and screeching )
YOO YEE: Whee-hee-hee-hee!
I'm flying all around!
I'm like a crazy man-bird.
Whee!
It's Yoo Yee's temple, and it's crawling with Ninjas.
SHEEN: Big deal.
With my new abilities, I can easily defeat them.
D-Does that include the one standing next to me?
( Carl gulps )
Uh, guys, let me handle this.
Hey, Jackie Chan, nice pajamas.
Now head back to gym class
before you get a faceful of Sheen.
Perhaps we should give him a taste of my abilities.
Oh, yeah, good idea.
( whooping )
Ow!
Okay, stop!
Ow!
Carl!
No-- your download must be wearing off.
( giggling nervously )
Sorry about the pajama crack.
They look smart on you.
( ninja yelling )
( boys exclaiming in pain )
BOYS: Whoa!
( boys grunt )
( all groaning )
The dance machine-- it's broken to bits.
Now I'll never learn to dirty-dance.
No, Carl, it's worse.
Libby's too well guarded.
Sheen will have to fight Yoo Yee,
and without a download, he's doomed.
There's only one thing to do.
SHEEN: A tutor?
Sheen, we have no choice.
Why not give me piano lessons while you're at it?
( doorbell plays "oriental" tune )
Yes.
M-Master Hong?
Yes.
Dude, don't you think
you're a bit old to teach kung fu?
Snatch this pebble from my hand.
"Snatch a pebble"-- how...?
( groaning )
You're hired.
Master, my friend has 24 hours
to learn kung fu and defeat Yoo Yee.
( laughing derisively )
Impossible!
Please, Master Hong, you have to help us.
Yeah, he's the Chosen One.
Ooh.
The Chosen One?
Put your leg behind your head.
( grunts )
Ooh.
A thousand pardons, Chosen One.
Come.
I will be honored to teach you what I know.
Carl, you help with Sheen's training.
I'll see about repairing the dance machine.
He who masters patience, masters all.
Try to catch carp using only hand.
Right.
Concentrate mind.
Become the stream.
You must feel the...
I got him!
I got him.
Oh, baby, we're eating fish tonight.
( sighs deeply )
So much for watching lady wrestling on Pay-Per-View.
Moving on.
( Sheen yelling )
( screams )
( yells )
( grunting )
Mmm! Mmm!
Carl! Why you little...
Come back here!
( blows hitting )
Now rise, Chosen One.
Rise!
( grunting )
Concentrate.
( grunting )
I can't do it, Master Hong.
It is because you lack the eye of the tiger.
Eye of the tiger?
Sounds fattening.
Quiet, Carl!
Where's an eye-of-the-tiger store?
Eye of the tiger cannot be bought!
You must feel it in your heart.
Without it, you cannot defeat Yoo Yee.
JIMMY: We'll take our chances.
Sheen, it's time.
Thank you, Master Hong.
Nice boys.
Gonna be a short fight.
JIMMY: I managed to reconstruct the dance machine as best I could.
Carl, do you have the kung fu disk?
Oh, I was afraid of that.
Without a proper conductor chip,
the current will overload the circuit board.
Sheen, it looks like you're on your own.
Chosen One!
Here we go, guys.
This is for Libby.
( gasps ): Oh, no.
Sheen's fighting Yoo Yee?
Oh, he doesn't have a chance.
( neck bones cracking )
Prepare to meet your fate, Chosen One.
No "How was your flight,
what hotel are you staying at, Chosen One?"
He is mocking my social skills in public.
I will show him no mercy.
You're talking out loud.
We all hear you.
( roars )
( gong clangs )
( spectators cheering and yelling )
( yelling )
Get back here!
( Yoo Yee yelling )
I can't look.
( yelling )
LIBBY: Guys! Guys!
Libby?
I escaped from a room.
Anything I can do?
No, I'm afraid...
Libby, is that a ruby on your head?
Yeah, but I'm not sure it's your color.
You're more sapphire.
No, rubies are an aluminum oxide mineral.
It'd make the perfect conductor for the dance machine.
( yells )
( groaning )
Whee-hee-hee-hee!
What is the matter, Chosen One?
Can't you fly?
Oh, all you can do is bend your leg behind your head!
( roars )
( gong clangs )
( moaning )
Sheen, how many fingers am I holding up?
November?
Carl, we don't have a lot of time.
Put in the kung fu disk.
Right.
( mumbling )
Commencing download.
( screaming )
Huh?
Libby.
Hey, where am I?
Sheen, listen to me.
You're in Shangri-Llama fighting Yoo Yee.
Cool! Am I winning? Well...
Define "winning."
( gong clangs )
ALL: Go, Sheen!
CARL: Let him have it!
( knuckles crack )
( ballet music playing )
( jazz playing )
Carl, you put in the dance disk!
I... He...
B-But I was nervous and the different colors and I...
Dance, Sheen!
Dance for your life!
Come here, dancing boy!
( Sheen groaning )
Tap-dance as fast as you can!
( blows hitting )
Sheen's doomed.
Ouch!
Sheen, put a hurting on this fool!
You hear me? This is your girlfriend talking!
( echoing ): Girlfriend!
( tiger growling )
( Sheen screaming )
( Eastern European dance playing )
( jig playing )
( square dance music playing )
♪ Swing your partner round and round ♪
♪ Then hurl him down onto the ground. ♪
( monks cheering )
Sheen, you did it! Way to go!
( roars )
You think this is over?!
( yelling )
( Yoo Yee grunts )
Cindy? But when did you...?
How did you...? When did you...?
If I want to do my triple-axel, midair Betsy flip,
then I'm going to do my triple-axel, midair Betsy flip!
Oh, and the hover car needs gas.
( clinking cup )
HEAD MONK: To the Chosen One!
Long may he put his leg behind his head.
To the Chosen One!
ALL: Chosen One!
Thank you! I'd like to say
I couldn't have done it without you guys.
I'd like to say that, but none of you were any help.
MONKS: Uh-huh.
He's got that right.
Okay, enough sitting around.
Let's kick it!
( techno dance music playing )
Relax, Jimmy.
It was probably just a case of mistaken...
Ow!
MAN: Cut.
( Cindy groans )
WOMAN: Cut!
( laughing )
( laughter )
I'm a flying boy.
So graceful.
Surely you are all jealous.
( squeals )
( thud )
( screaming )
Put your leg behind your head.
( laughs )
That's going to hurt in the morning.
Moving on.
Okay.
( laughter )
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
Hi, I'm Paul.
JIMMY: Got to blast!