1 00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:08,741 Check it out. 2 00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:09,642 I'm a speed demon. 3 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,043 You getting this, baby? 4 00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,377 WOMAN: Sure am, honey. 5 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:13,613 Whoo-hoo! 6 00:00:13,648 --> 00:00:16,015 ANNOUNCER: You're watching vacation footage 7 00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:19,051 of Steve and Jenny Bissell, who set out for paradise 8 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:21,186 but sailed smack-dab into the mystery 9 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,055 of the Bahama Quadrangle. 10 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:26,258 Uh, honey, what's the deal with this fog? 11 00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:27,827 Uh, I don't know. 12 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,294 Steve, I'm frightened. 13 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,864 Well, don't panic, it's probably nothing. 14 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,633 H-Hey! What's happening? 15 00:00:33,668 --> 00:00:34,800 Steve, where are you? 16 00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:35,835 Honey! Steve? 17 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:36,736 No! Stay back! 18 00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:37,903 ( screaming ) 19 00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:39,705 ( static crackling ) 20 00:00:39,741 --> 00:00:42,041 ANNOUNCER: They were never seen again. 21 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,977 Had the Bahama Quadrangle taken two more victims 22 00:00:45,013 --> 00:00:46,646 into its watery clutches? 23 00:00:46,681 --> 00:00:48,614 Cool. 24 00:00:48,650 --> 00:00:50,315 Spooky. 25 00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:51,817 Oh, what a bunch of baloney. 26 00:00:51,853 --> 00:00:55,154 You don't believe the Bahama Quadrangle is haunted, do you? 27 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,522 How else do you explain 28 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,458 all the boats and planes that went missing there? 29 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,693 It could be anything-- 30 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,029 sudden tornadoes, freak electrical storms... 31 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,531 Ghosts of the undead hoarding human flesh 32 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,399 to feed their ravenous hunger. 33 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:10,569 Sheen, do you even believe half the stuff you say? 34 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,470 Yes. 35 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,872 Or do I? 36 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,141 Well, have you ever been there, Jimmy? 37 00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,709 No, but I've read all about it. 38 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,845 It's where one of my favorite scientists, Dr. Sydney Moist, 39 00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:20,913 used to conduct 40 00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,149 his groundbreaking oceanographic research. 41 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,150 CARL: Used to? 42 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,484 What happened to him? 43 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,418 He went missing. 44 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,319 Aha! 45 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,821 That's just a coincidence. 46 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,455 It's sorcery, I tells you! 47 00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,091 Or evil porpoises. 48 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,793 Or fish-headed octo-men. 49 00:01:33,828 --> 00:01:34,727 Get up. 50 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,895 Where we going? 51 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,997 To the Bahama Quadrangle, so I can prove 52 00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:40,866 that this "mystery" is perfectly explainable. 53 00:01:40,902 --> 00:01:42,634 Mmm... nah. 54 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:43,703 I'll pass. 55 00:01:43,738 --> 00:01:45,671 Fine, then we'll start our essays 56 00:01:45,707 --> 00:01:47,006 on the Habsburg Empire. 57 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,007 Quadrangle it is. 58 00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:49,541 Right behind you, Captain. 59 00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,878 SHEEN: Are we there yet? 60 00:01:52,914 --> 00:01:53,879 How about now? 61 00:01:53,915 --> 00:01:54,847 Are we there now? 62 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:55,815 How about now? 63 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:56,916 CARL: I hope it's soon. 64 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:58,951 I need to use the little boys' ocean. 65 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:01,553 According to the Neutronic positioning unit, 66 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,956 we're now entering the Bahama Quadrangle. 67 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:06,959 Notice the complete lack of anything creepy... 68 00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,861 ( electronic interference ) 69 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:09,829 Until now. 70 00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:13,232 Uh, Jimmy, flying into a fog bank 71 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:16,736 on a perfectly sunny day is normal, right? 72 00:02:16,771 --> 00:02:17,870 Of course it is. 73 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,639 Happens all the time, right, Jimmy? 74 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,673 Actually... 75 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:22,942 We're doomed! 76 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:24,243 We're not doomed. 77 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,678 The only thing to fear is total engine failure. 78 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,513 ( engine sputters and stalls ) 79 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:29,481 Now we're doomed. 80 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,784 ( all shouting ) 81 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,119 ( splash ) 82 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:36,255 Guys, there's something fishy going on here. 83 00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,257 Fishy? As in evil porpoises? 84 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:39,424 Well, this was fun. 85 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,659 Let's go home! 86 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,062 Carl, we need to go underwater and investigate. 87 00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:45,197 Everyone take some air-gum. 88 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,299 ( all chewing ) 89 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:56,876 Okay, now if we get lost, let's meet back here so we don't... 90 00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:59,645 ( shrieking ): Wait for me! 91 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,421 Jimmy was right-- nothing mysterious here. 92 00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:11,190 Bye! 93 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,926 That's strange. 94 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:17,129 I'm picking up humanoid bio-signs from that direction. 95 00:03:17,165 --> 00:03:18,230 Follow me. 96 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:26,238 SHEEN: Can't we just take a moment to appreciate this? 97 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,240 We're young, we're in the Bahamas, 98 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,542 we've got our whole lives ahead of us. 99 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,878 Perhaps I spoke too soon! 100 00:03:32,914 --> 00:03:34,713 Jimmy, what's happening? 101 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:35,747 I don't know. 102 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,349 Can't... fight... current! 103 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,284 Too strong! 104 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,751 ( shouts ) 105 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,221 This place has seen the last of my tourist dollars. 106 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:43,189 ( shouts ) 107 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:44,456 All right, Evil Porpoise, 108 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,558 I don't like you and you don't like me, so... 109 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,726 ( shouts ) 110 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,496 Yike! 111 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,464 ( grunts ) 112 00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:53,732 ( shouts ) 113 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,034 ( screams ) 114 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,235 Good-bye, world! 115 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,602 The horror! 116 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:58,938 So, where are we anyway? 117 00:03:58,973 --> 00:03:59,905 Seaweed. 118 00:03:59,941 --> 00:04:01,506 It looks like we've been sucked 119 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,909 into some sort of kelp processing plant. 120 00:04:03,945 --> 00:04:04,910 MAN: Bravo! 121 00:04:04,946 --> 00:04:06,979 Excellent deduction. 122 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,948 Hey, Jimmy, isn't that... 123 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:11,817 Dr. Sydney Moist, the world's leading researcher 124 00:04:11,853 --> 00:04:14,286 in the field of phytochemical compounds. 125 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:16,521 And a deliciously graceful tap dancer. 126 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,690 ( rhythmically ): Pah, pah, pah, pah, pah. 127 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:19,859 Yeah! 128 00:04:19,894 --> 00:04:21,894 But you were reported dead years ago. 129 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,063 Oh, I can assure you I'm quite alive-- 130 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:28,667 marvelously, resplendently alive! 131 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,668 And Charleston. 132 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:30,569 Huh! 133 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,636 ( scatting ) 134 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,739 Hey, Jimmy, you didn't tell us 135 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,541 Dr. Moist was completely out of his... ( grunts ) 136 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:40,246 Ah, my apologies for sucking you into my lab. 137 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,915 The ocean is full of spies. 138 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,751 But enough jibber-jabber-- who's hungry, hmm? 139 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:46,818 Nipsey, Russell! 140 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,053 ( tinkles bell ) 141 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,689 SHEEN: Oh, look! 142 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,158 Dr. Nut-job has some slimy green friends. 143 00:04:53,194 --> 00:04:55,294 MOIST: Show our guests to the table. 144 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:58,230 I hope you boys are hungry. 145 00:04:58,266 --> 00:04:59,598 Incredible! 146 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,334 They're some type of plankto-humanoid life forms. 147 00:05:04,205 --> 00:05:06,571 MOIST: I decided to make men out of algae. 148 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:10,943 I call them... "Algae-men"! 149 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,079 And I thought he was insane. 150 00:05:14,115 --> 00:05:17,316 Well, eat up, there's plenty for everyone. 151 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,318 ( flatly ): Mmm. 152 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,886 It's scrumptious. 153 00:05:20,922 --> 00:05:22,254 ( gags ) 154 00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:23,522 Yum, yum. 155 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,824 ( meekly ): Yeah, that really hits the spot. 156 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,126 ( whimpers ) 157 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,561 Why live underwater when you could share 158 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:30,862 with other scientists? 159 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:31,897 Ha! 160 00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:33,299 Never! 161 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:37,269 They all laughed at me and called me "Dr. Loony-pants." 162 00:05:37,305 --> 00:05:38,971 Well, who's laughing now, hmm? 163 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,505 Who's crazy now?! 164 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:43,675 ( laughs maniacally ) 165 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,611 I'll go check on dessert. 166 00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,013 Guys, what'd I tell you? 167 00:05:48,049 --> 00:05:51,016 There's nothing mysterious about the Bahama Quadrangle. 168 00:05:51,052 --> 00:05:52,284 Oh, no? 169 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,619 We're having dinner at the bottom of the ocean 170 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:57,156 with a crazy lunatic and his seaweed friends. 171 00:05:57,191 --> 00:06:00,159 Okay, granted, he's a little eccentric... 172 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:03,862 A little eccentric?! 173 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,966 The guy's crazier than a sackful of spider monkeys! 174 00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:09,601 So, how are we doing, hmm? 175 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:12,471 Dr. Moist, can you explain to my friends here 176 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:16,208 that there's nothing mysterious about the Bahama Quadrangle? 177 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,843 I'd be happy to... 178 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,878 right after your transformation. 179 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:20,912 ( gulps ) 180 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,281 Transformation? 181 00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:25,384 Into algae-men, just like all the other fools 182 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:28,187 who've passed this way to spy on me! 183 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:28,887 Huh? 184 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,089 That's right-- 185 00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:32,691 your food was chockfull of mutant algae seeds. 186 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,525 Huh? 187 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,860 Which even as we speak 188 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:38,797 are infusing your every cell with kelpy goodness! 189 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:39,631 Huh? 190 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,800 Guys, I'm turning green! 191 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,802 But you ate it, too-- we saw you. 192 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,805 Yes, but I have the antidote. 193 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,974 ( gulping loudly ) 194 00:06:49,010 --> 00:06:51,843 Ah, that is good antidote! 195 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,046 ( knocks softly ) 196 00:06:57,385 --> 00:06:58,617 You're insane! 197 00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,119 Oh, gee, you think? 198 00:07:00,154 --> 00:07:01,420 What was your first clue? 199 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,422 Seize them! 200 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:05,757 ( boys yelling ) 201 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:10,396 So, Dr. Moist kidnaps anyone in the Bahama Quadrangle 202 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:13,265 and turns them into algae-based manservants. 203 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,667 I told you it wasn't anything supernatural. 204 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,102 Gee, you were right, Jimmy. 205 00:07:17,138 --> 00:07:19,738 I'd congratulate you if I weren't being turned 206 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,273 into a 85-pound walking salad! 207 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,576 Oh, I don't know, maybe being algae isn't so bad. 208 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:28,047 I mean, all we have to do is keep our coats moist and slimy. 209 00:07:28,082 --> 00:07:30,516 And be butlers to a tap-happy mental case! 210 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,483 Oh, right. 211 00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:32,418 That's it! 212 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:33,218 What's it? 213 00:07:33,254 --> 00:07:34,453 Every room in the lab 214 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,488 is kept humid so the algae-men can thrive. 215 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,257 So? 216 00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:40,792 So watch. 217 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,294 ( explosion ) 218 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,301 ( coughing violently ) 219 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,037 It's working. 220 00:07:52,073 --> 00:07:53,305 ( coughing continues ) 221 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,606 ( keys rattle on floor ) 222 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,741 Now we get his keys. 223 00:08:01,082 --> 00:08:04,683 ♪ I knew a young lady named Eloise Crocker ♪ 224 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,953 ♪ Whose beauty could knock a man right off his rocker ♪ 225 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:11,590 ♪ Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to knock her ♪ 226 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:15,026 ♪ But she stank like the sweat socks in Davy Jones' locker. ♪ 227 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,261 ( control thuds ) 228 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:20,699 Guys, 229 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,835 you distract the algae-men while I go for the antidote. 230 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,437 Right. 231 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:27,906 Shall we? 232 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,274 Do let's. 233 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:31,610 Step right up, fellas. 234 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,644 Find the pretty lady. 235 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,980 That's right-- find the pretty lady. 236 00:08:41,322 --> 00:08:44,022 Nobody goes home a loser. 237 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,457 ( Moist scatting ) 238 00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:47,259 ( knocks softly ) 239 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,161 An electrical-vectors entry? 240 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,029 I expected more from Dr. Moist. 241 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,232 ( scatting while tap-dancing ) 242 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,136 Or not. 243 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,439 ( explosion ) 244 00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:08,847 CARL: That's right-- up and down and all around. 245 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,081 Find the pretty lady. 246 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,217 Oh! Tough luck, chief. 247 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:16,421 ( both growling ) 248 00:09:16,457 --> 00:09:17,956 ( laughs nervously ) 249 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,192 Carl, Sheen-- catch! 250 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,866 Oh, wait, this isn't high in sodium, is it? 251 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,269 Because I'm not supposed... ( screams ) 252 00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:31,370 ( Carl gulping ) 253 00:09:32,273 --> 00:09:34,839 CARL: Yay, I'm pasty again! 254 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,107 ( scatting ) 255 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:37,742 You'll never escape! 256 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,245 My algae-men will get you! 257 00:09:40,281 --> 00:09:41,547 I'd like to see them try! 258 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:42,214 Yeah! 259 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,048 You would? 260 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,383 Crush them! 261 00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,618 ( algae-men groaning menacingly ) 262 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,820 Guys, chew as much air-gum as you can. 263 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,656 Sorry, it's my breath, isn't it? 264 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,457 No, Carl, algae thrives on CO2. 265 00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:53,825 There's enough in this gum 266 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,528 to cause the algae-men to grow exponentially. 267 00:09:56,564 --> 00:09:57,996 And how is that good again? 268 00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,631 JIMMY: No time to explain. 269 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:00,865 Chew for your lives! 270 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,741 Quick, guys, follow me. 271 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,977 ( algae-men groaning ) 272 00:10:15,516 --> 00:10:16,582 ( screams ) 273 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,016 Stop! What are you doing? 274 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,651 Stop growing this instant! 275 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:22,221 Don't make me do my angry dance! 276 00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:24,122 No! 277 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,591 ( voice becomes muffled ) 278 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,493 Swim! Hurry! 279 00:10:28,529 --> 00:10:31,896 ( loud explosion, Carl screaming ) 280 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,234 ( both scream ) 281 00:10:35,269 --> 00:10:36,668 ( Carl screaming ) 282 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:37,802 ( splash ) 283 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:38,870 We did it. 284 00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,905 Dr. Moist's reign of terror is over. 285 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:44,175 The mystery of the Bahama Quadrangle is solved. 286 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,978 I'm just glad it wasn't evil porpoises. 287 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,180 That would have been terrifying. 288 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:52,083 Oh, not again with the fog. 289 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,152 ( high-pitched whining ) 290 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,320 JIMMY: Uh, guys? 291 00:10:55,356 --> 00:10:57,155 What say we let this mystery slide? 292 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,890 ( aliens whining ) 293 00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,792 ( boys screaming ) 294 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:19,210 ( music playing ) 295 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,879 Can you turn off the music? 296 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,947 Sorry. 297 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:26,885 JIMMY: Notice the Miscellana octoria's distinctive tibial spurs 298 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,420 and sclerotized pedipalps. 299 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,421 Fascinating. 300 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,323 Can you make it do the hokey-pokey? 301 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,191 Sheen, go home. 302 00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:35,727 Guys! Guys! Guys! 303 00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:38,730 I've got a girlfriend! 304 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,565 Huh? ( gasps ) 305 00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:41,667 Who is she? 306 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,235 Well, she's my pen pal from Sweden 307 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:48,573 and she's coming to Retroville and her name is Elke Ekberg. 308 00:11:48,609 --> 00:11:49,808 That was weird. 309 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,811 I thought I heard Carl say he had a girlfriend. 310 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:53,912 I do! 311 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,614 Here's her picture. 312 00:11:55,649 --> 00:11:57,115 ( gasps ) 313 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,984 She's a teen model, tennis star, gymnast, masseuse 314 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,019 and ballet dancer. 315 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,987 Don't take this the wrong way, Carl, 316 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,423 but you're kind of a nerd. 317 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:06,858 What does she see in you? 318 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,894 Well, I sent her some pictures. 319 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:13,598 SHEEN: Man... 320 00:12:13,634 --> 00:12:15,867 where was I when you did all this stuff? 321 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:19,070 Carl, these are all pictures of me! 322 00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:21,940 I didn't think she'd like a hefty boy with glasses 323 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,209 who's into llamas and sleeps with a blanky 324 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,345 and has unsightly spots all over his... 325 00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:27,612 Too much information! 326 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,083 So I told her I was a boy genius 327 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,820 and I invented cool stuff and had a neat lab. 328 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,321 So you said you were me. 329 00:12:36,357 --> 00:12:37,689 Huh? Oh, yeah, kind of. 330 00:12:37,725 --> 00:12:40,492 Anyway, Elke has a one-day stopover in Retroville 331 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,561 on her way to a tennis tournament, 332 00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,363 and I'm afraid when she sees me, 333 00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:46,665 she'll find out I've been lying to her. 334 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:47,666 Because you have! 335 00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,067 Huh? Oh, yeah, kind of. 336 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,269 And then she won't like me anymore. 337 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,604 And by you, you mean me! 338 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,138 Huh? Oh, yeah, kind of. 339 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,341 If you're looking for help, count me out! 340 00:12:56,377 --> 00:12:59,010 Come on, Jimmy, just let Carl pretend to be you. 341 00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:00,912 He could show her some inventions, 342 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,648 fly her in the hover car, and she'll never know. 343 00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:06,385 I'm not letting Carl touch my stuff. 344 00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:07,452 Oh, please, Jimmy. 345 00:13:07,488 --> 00:13:09,888 This may be my only chance to impress 346 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,956 a tennis-playing, teen-modeling, 347 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,493 ballet-dancing, gymnasticking masseuse. 348 00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:16,027 Yeah, come on, Jimmy. 349 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:24,636 Okay, for one day only you can be Carl Wheezer, Boy Genius. 350 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:25,871 Yay, thanks, Jim! 351 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,273 You're the best friend in the whole world. 352 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:31,610 Oh, by the way, I told her you're my dimwitted assistant. 353 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:32,544 What?! 354 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,178 I said you were an experiment 355 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,847 that went horribly wrong. 356 00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:36,915 Sweet! 357 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:41,453 You think I should put on something nice to meet her? 358 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,987 ( softly ): Like a mask. 359 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,624 Carl, what you need is a total makeover 360 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:49,360 from nerd guy to science guy. 361 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:09,280 ( mechanicals whirring ) 362 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,436 CARL: There she is. 363 00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:34,873 ( bashfully ): Elke... 364 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,107 Ja. 365 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,245 Carl Wheezer! 366 00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:44,248 Hi, I'm, um... 367 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,650 My dimwitted assistant. 368 00:14:45,686 --> 00:14:47,519 Take Elke's bag, and be quick! 369 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,687 I'm Sheen. 370 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,322 He really used to be a monkey? 371 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:54,693 Monkey? What kind-- flying monkey, squirrel monkey, 372 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,260 a chunky, funky monkey? 373 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,730 Ooh, I love your car which hovers. 374 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:01,833 Yeah, well, it's just a little something 375 00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:04,135 I threw together one afternoon. 376 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,436 Après vous. 377 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,706 Oh, that's French for "get in." 378 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,577 Okay, uh... 379 00:15:12,613 --> 00:15:14,779 Go ahead, Boy Genius, start her up. 380 00:15:14,815 --> 00:15:16,447 CARL: Hmm, let's see... 381 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,816 I'll, uh, maybe... 382 00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:20,752 May I suggest that instead of the arm-missiles button, 383 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,554 you push the one right below it? 384 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,122 I know what button to push! 385 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,456 I was just testing you. 386 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,225 I'm teaching him how to drive. 387 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,260 Yeah, I'll teach you how to... 388 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:33,064 Okay, Monkey Boy says, "Let's get this show on the road." 389 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,133 ( engine roaring ) 390 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:41,439 It is so nice to finally meet you in the person. 391 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,408 You are such the genius. 392 00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,611 ♪ His name was Rico ♪ 393 00:15:46,647 --> 00:15:48,580 ♪ He was a showboy... ♪ 394 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,750 ( screams ) 395 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,853 Uh, Dimwitted Assistant, remember what I taught you 396 00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:57,388 about getting the hover car under control?! 397 00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,991 ( horns honking ) 398 00:16:01,562 --> 00:16:02,493 Whew. 399 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:03,695 Are you okay, Elke? 400 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:04,796 Ja. 401 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,330 You nincompoop! 402 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,400 You must have put the wrong fuel in my hover car! 403 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:10,702 What? Your hover car?! 404 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:11,703 I... Ugh! 405 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,038 Sorry, Carl. 406 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,405 My mistake. 407 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,474 Well, don't ever let it happen again, 408 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,276 and it's Mr. Wheezer to you. 409 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,879 You just can't get good help these days. 410 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,881 May we go to see your lab now? 411 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,415 You got it. 412 00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,451 To the lab, Dimwitted Assistant. 413 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,852 Uh, yes, sir. 414 00:16:27,888 --> 00:16:29,520 "Yes, sir, Mr. Wheezer." 415 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:37,195 Ooh... ah... ooh... ah...! 416 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,530 Don't you love the Swedish language? 417 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,733 Carl, what are these fantastic things? 418 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:42,934 Uh... 419 00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:44,769 Yes, Mr. Wheezer, go ahead, 420 00:16:44,805 --> 00:16:47,371 tell her what all these inventions are 421 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:48,773 and how they work. 422 00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,611 Okay, well, that's 423 00:16:52,646 --> 00:16:55,814 the bring-back-people-from- another-time machiney thingy. 424 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:59,117 And that's the thingy that goes ( blows raspberry ) 425 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:02,120 and that's the yellow thingy, I know that. 426 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:06,190 "Yellow thingy"-- you are so the modest boy. 427 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:08,159 Oh, well... 428 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:11,796 Can you bring back my favorite Swedish poet, Ingmar Ibsen? 429 00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:13,164 Of course. 430 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,766 I'm a genius, aren't I? 431 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,234 Now, let me see... 432 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,636 Poet, poet... I... 433 00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:20,304 Oh, yeah, I think it's these ones. 434 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,773 Mr. Wheezer, wait! 435 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,679 ( grunting madly ) 436 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,213 Attila the Hun! 437 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,615 Is he a poet? 438 00:17:30,651 --> 00:17:33,652 No, he's one of the most ferocious warriors of all time. 439 00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:35,286 ( grunting madly ) 440 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,955 ATTILA: Destroy! Attack! Kill! 441 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:39,590 Maim! Conquer! Pinch! 442 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,292 ( grunting madly ) 443 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,861 JIMMY: That's my... 444 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,329 uh, I mean Carl's nuclear reactor. 445 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:48,332 He could set off a radioactive meltdown! 446 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:51,736 You make with the saving the day now, Carl? 447 00:17:51,772 --> 00:17:53,271 Uh, y-y-yeah, yeah. 448 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,438 ( grunting ) 449 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,340 Who wants fudge brownies? 450 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,109 Brownies? 451 00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,644 Plain or with nuts? 452 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,246 Nuts. 453 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:02,881 Nuts?! 454 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:03,815 Nuts! 455 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,283 ( cheering ) 456 00:18:09,990 --> 00:18:10,889 Whew. 457 00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:12,523 You supreme bonehead, 458 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,225 this was all your fault! 459 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:17,461 You must have got bubble gum in my machine! 460 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,563 You're fired! 461 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,297 I'm what?! 462 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,365 Take off! 463 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:24,936 Okay, I will, and you're coming with me. 464 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,305 But I want a brownie, too. 465 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,808 Is so much adventure, Carl. 466 00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:31,076 Maybe I go now. 467 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,543 I call you later. 468 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,913 Wait, wait, wait, Elke, Elke, don't go. 469 00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,415 I haven't shown you my, uh, rocket. 470 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,516 Come on. 471 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,483 No, but I... 472 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,252 I got kicked out of my own lab. 473 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,788 I'm the genius, not that llama-loving jerk. 474 00:18:43,824 --> 00:18:45,090 I'm going back in there 475 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,557 and tell Elke the truth. 476 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:50,028 No, Jimmy, this may be Carl's one chance at love, 477 00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:52,897 and Elke might have a sister, or twin, or cousin, 478 00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:54,966 or youngish aunt, or what about... 479 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,202 If Carl touches one thing in there, 480 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,703 if he moves one atom... 481 00:18:58,739 --> 00:19:00,839 if he even breathes on anything... 482 00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:03,775 CARL: Next stop: the moon! 483 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,710 You were saying? 484 00:19:05,746 --> 00:19:07,045 He's out of control! 485 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,148 Relax, he's probably just writing her name in the sky. 486 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:13,017 Must be the Swedish spelling. 487 00:19:13,053 --> 00:19:16,221 ( Carl screaming ) 488 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:17,488 Carl, it's too fast. 489 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,257 Make with the slowing down. 490 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:23,027 How about I point out interesting things in space, okay? 491 00:19:23,063 --> 00:19:25,696 Um... that's a big flying rock, 492 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,733 and that's another big flying rock, 493 00:19:28,769 --> 00:19:30,701 and that's a gigantic flying rock 494 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:31,970 coming right at us! 495 00:19:33,774 --> 00:19:36,875 I've got to get him out of the meteor shower. 496 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:40,945 Look-- Dimwitted Assistant and Former Monkey. 497 00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:53,624 ( rockets approaching ) 498 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,660 ( all screaming ) 499 00:19:57,197 --> 00:20:00,498 ( all moaning ) 500 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:04,669 Carl, I... I must say to you something. 501 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,703 Hold that thought. 502 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,438 Way to go, Dimwitted Assistant! 503 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,107 I had everything under control 504 00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:10,574 until you messed it up! 505 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,642 Under control?! 506 00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,278 I saved your life, Genius! 507 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,379 Go home and play with your llamas, 508 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:19,184 you big, dumb, dummy, dopey, little-brain, dum-dum dummy. 509 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,718 Okay, that's it, Wheezer. 510 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,887 Elke, you want to know the truth? 511 00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:24,289 Jimmy, no! 512 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,858 Remember that cute Swedish sister or neighbor. 513 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,827 Think of the accent, the meatballs, 514 00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:30,195 the socialized medicine. 515 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,830 Abba! 516 00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:34,732 Carl, I have confession to make. 517 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,001 I'm not teen model, tennis star 518 00:20:37,037 --> 00:20:38,536 or other cool things. 519 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:42,440 I am just simple farm girl who comes here with parents 520 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,210 to buy llama feed from American cousin. 521 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,444 You mean... 522 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:49,180 Ja, I am big fake! 523 00:20:49,216 --> 00:20:50,448 I am not right 524 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,650 for genius boy of many adventures. 525 00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:53,751 No! 526 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,153 I'm a big fake, too! 527 00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:56,354 What? 528 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:57,488 Yeah, I'm a nerd. 529 00:20:57,523 --> 00:20:59,690 I don't even know how to spell "science," 530 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,026 and I love llamas more than people. 531 00:21:02,062 --> 00:21:03,761 No, Carl, don't try 532 00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:06,865 to make me feel better with lies. 533 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:09,100 But I... 534 00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:11,135 Sheen, let me go! 535 00:21:11,171 --> 00:21:12,536 Wait! 536 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:14,873 ELKE: Llama Love Society? 537 00:21:14,908 --> 00:21:16,407 I'm a member, too! 538 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,977 Your photo is nice, too. 539 00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:21,412 Oh, Carl, it is the truth. 540 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:22,813 You were lying. 541 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:24,415 You are a nerd. 542 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:30,088 A heavyset, glasses-wearing nerd with a blanky and many fears 543 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,957 and numerous medical problems. 544 00:21:32,993 --> 00:21:34,825 Come. 545 00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:38,429 Let me kiss you so many times, Nerd Boy. 546 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:39,797 Hey, I'm a nerd! 547 00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,165 I'm a nerd, too! 548 00:21:41,201 --> 00:21:42,466 I'm a huge nerd. 549 00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:44,969 I'm the nerdiest kid in town. 550 00:21:45,005 --> 00:21:47,505 Elke, there's a brand-new baby llama 551 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:48,907 at the petting zoo. 552 00:21:48,942 --> 00:21:50,341 What are we doing here? 553 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:52,176 Let's boogie! 554 00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:54,212 What just happened here? 555 00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:56,480 Oh, love is strange, Jimmy. 556 00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:58,549 It's like the Swedish poet once said, 557 00:21:58,584 --> 00:21:59,650 "Herda gerda gaberda 558 00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:01,519 shamerda curla hurla herda..." 559 00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,087 Just stop it. 560 00:22:03,123 --> 00:22:04,188 Okay. 561 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:09,894 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 562 00:22:45,398 --> 00:22:47,798 Hola, soy Pablo. 563 00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:49,800 JIMMY: Got to blast!