1
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:12,680
**

2
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:21,021
**

3
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:30,564
**

4
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:31,732
Hmm.

5
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:32,933
Mmm.

6
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,268
Take my hand, Nigel!

7
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,570
I have come to show you
the journey within.

8
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,939
Uh, Mr. Small,
is there anything weird

9
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:41,242
in this candy you brought
back from your vacation?

10
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,277
Fear me not, Nigel!

11
00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:47,248
For I am your
spirit anima-a-a-al!

12
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,417
Um, Mr. Small?

13
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:52,453
My hands! They're like
spiders made out of meat!

14
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,754
Aah!

15
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,259
Mr. Small? Mr. Small!

16
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,194
What is in this candy?!

17
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,800
Ah. It's not candy.
It's a candle.

18
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,571
Sorry, kids, but there's
no school today.

19
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,806
The staff have all been
evacuated to the hospital.

20
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:13,974
Aah!

21
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,609
Dude, you can
at least show concern.

22
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:18,146
Yeah, you're right.

23
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:22,716
Come on.
Let's go home.

24
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,652
Mr. Dad will be
surprised to see us.

25
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:25,719
Yeah.

26
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,821
We might interrupt
his third breakfast.

27
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,827
Hey!

28
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,463
Uh, hi, guys. What's up?

29
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,298
School was canceled.
What's that on your lips?

30
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:40,301
Oh, I, uh...I was
just eating some, uh...

31
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,669
What's that awful stuff
that's like fruit

32
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,237
that people decorate
plates with?

33
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,273
You mean a vegetable?

34
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,808
Uh, yes. That's what
stained my lips --

35
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,177
a vergertule.

36
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,678
What kind?

37
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,845
A re-- a red one?

38
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,814
Okay, stop lying.
We saw her. Who is she?

39
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,849
Uh...what's the name
of those people that you pay

40
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,918
to make your skin cry
until you're thin?

41
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,287
A personal trainer?

42
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,688
That's it!
She was reminding me I have to

43
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:03,090
go to that place where
the bicycles go nowhere.

44
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,458
You mean the gym?

45
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,694
Yes, the gym.
And I'm late! 'Kay, bye.

46
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:09,363
I don't think
he's going to the gym.

47
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,465
'Cause the only gym
he goes to is Jim the cashier

48
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,801
at the doughnut store?
No. I mean, yes.

49
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:18,572
But also because that gym bag
he grabbed was a woman's purse.

50
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,943
Oh, I'm going to the gym.

51
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,212
Liar!

52
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,813
He's buying perfume
for that woman.

53
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,014
Maybe it's just for him.

54
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,183
Yeah, sure, to hide the scent
of his shame!

55
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,384
Uh...

56
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,052
- Aah!
- That was close.

57
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,854
He nearly saw u--

58
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,390
Huh?

59
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:37,891
I guess
4K's how far you have to stand

60
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,560
away from the camera
so you don't look like

61
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,562
a photo from
a dermatology textbook.

62
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,897
Where did he go?

63
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:47,067
**

64
00:02:53,106 --> 00:03:03,106
**

65
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:08,256
Look, it's the lady
we saw at home.

66
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:11,259
Well, hello, girls.

67
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,093
Let's eavesdrop.

68
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,595
Ah, Samantha. Finally.

69
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,096
We've been waiting so long,

70
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,098
Angela's clothes
are back in fashion.

71
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,534
Better late
than ugly, Maria.

72
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,903
A girl needs to make
some effort for her man.

73
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,172
Samantha, darling,
the last time you were a girl

74
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,340
men still had gills.

75
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:31,245
So, when do we get to meet
elusive boyfriend of yours?

76
00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:33,447
Oh, he's not
elusive, Angela.

77
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:34,782
He just doesn't like
to answer questions

78
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,284
straightforwardly
and and prefers changing

79
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:37,785
the subject to avoid them.

80
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:40,187
Samantha, are you nervous
because we might

81
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,455
judge your new boyfriend?

82
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,357
No, Violet,
she's worried about how

83
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,859
mimes place their orders
at the drive-through.

84
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,729
Ah, you younger women
are so demanding.

85
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,131
So what if Samantha's boyfriend
isn't around that much?

86
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:54,268
As long as a man has a pulse
and a smile, who cares?

87
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:55,903
I'd be so happy to
get a man with either

88
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,806
of those things, and at my age,
I don't care which.

89
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,309
Do you think he might
have a friend for me?

90
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:03,076
Yes, Violet.
The Easter Bunny.

91
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,945
Now, you listen here.

92
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,647
My man does exist!

93
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,816
As a matter of fact, I'm meeting
him in the park later.

94
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:12,986
What the wha-a-a-a!!

95
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:17,124
Ugh, this is taking forever.

96
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,459
I've not got a lot of time.

97
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,761
Skin and regrets,
yes, but time, no.

98
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,163
Do you think maybe
he's running a little late?

99
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,665
No, Violet.
He arrived on time.

100
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,900
He just set our watches
early for a prank.

101
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,937
Hmm...

102
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:33,173
Oh! There he is.

103
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,908
Hello, sugar.

104
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:36,977
-Hey, honey.
-Mm!

105
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,178
How's your day been?

106
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,785
Oh, it makes my heart
skip a beat to know

107
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,488
that love can still
blossom at our age.

108
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,289
Wait. That's two beats.

109
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,191
Three! Somebody do something!

110
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,860
Ooh!
Oh, yeah, there it is.

111
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,995
Mm!

112
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,630
I can't believe it.

113
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,198
Dad always said Mom
was out of his league,

114
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,368
but I never thought
he'd want to get back down

115
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,602
into his own league.

116
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,036
What's that?

117
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,473
The bombshell that just
got dropped on us.

118
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,875
Huh. I always thought
that was a metaphor.

119
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,211
**

120
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,348
We know about Samantha.

121
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:15,816
Oh.

122
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:19,052
Well, I guess you were bound
to find out one day.

123
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,488
How do you feel about it?

124
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,823
Oh, just great!

125
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,358
How do you think Mom
would feel about it?!

126
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,059
Well, she's not around
in the day.

127
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,896
I've got to find some way
of keeping myself entertained.

128
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,230
Entertained?!

129
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:33,033
Is it so bad
that I have some fun?

130
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,369
I enjoy the time
I spend with my girls.

131
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,870
Girls?! Plural?!

132
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,574
What difference does it make
if it's more than one?

133
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,410
You maggot. How many?

134
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:45,579
Three at the moment, but,
you know, the more the merrier.

135
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:46,814
I think I'm gonna be sick.

136
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,982
Our dad has
a secret double life.

137
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,919
Darwin, smash another plate.

138
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,587
Hold on.

139
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,929
**

140
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:08,569
**

141
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,938
Dagnabit, I bought
the paper ones.

142
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,674
I don't see what's so wrong with
having a secret double life.

143
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,108
Look how it's already

144
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,444
affecting us!

145
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:19,246
Yeah, well, only because
it's not secret anymore.

146
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,748
So I was
technically correct.

147
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,783
Nothing wrong with having
a "secret" double life.

148
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,051
Dad,
this whole thing

149
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:27,588
is based on lies,
and that's not right!

150
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,790
I understand.

151
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,092
I've deceived
the people I love.

152
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,762
I'm gonna go end it
with the other girls.

153
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,730
Then I'll take
all of Samantha's stuff

154
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:40,868
down to the junkyard
and burn it in a big bonfire.

155
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,936
Or maybe just tell her
by text or something...?

156
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,973
No. I need to make sure
I can never go back.

157
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:49,142
Yep. Burning all her stuff in
the dump -- that'll do it.

158
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,652
I'm sure gonna
miss this pretty face.

159
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:02,890
But at least
I'm bowing out with grace.

160
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,492
Aah! Darn heels.

161
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,760
Do you realize
what this means?

162
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,496
Of course!

163
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,831
Samantha was in the bathroom
the whole time!

164
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,332
Of course!

165
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,334
Mrs. Mom is Samantha!

166
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,438
Mr. Dad is...Mrs. Mom?

167
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:19,640
I'm Mr. Dad?

168
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,008
Dad and Samantha
are the same person!

169
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,643
So we better stop him
before he ruins

170
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:25,445
his beautiful friendship
with those sassy girls.

171
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,783
Mmm, Maria,
this cheesecake is so good

172
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,852
I want to marry it
and have its cupcakes.

173
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,587
Oh, that reminds me

174
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:34,855
of a story
from Minnesota.

175
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,957
Does it involve
a woman marrying a cake?

176
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,292
Oh no. I'm afraid it was
at a time when society

177
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,028
wasn't as tolerant
as it is now.

178
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,530
People were only
allowed to marry a potato

179
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:43,697
from a different farm.

180
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,032
Can we just skip

181
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,300
the nonsense part
and get to the end please?

182
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,202
Oh. Sure.

183
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,704
The end.

184
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:53,106
I have a dramatic
announcement to make.

185
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,175
He dumped you
for a slimmer woman.
No.

186
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,344
He dumped you
for a younger woman?
No.

187
00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:00,047
He dumped you for a potato
from a different farm?

188
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,214
What? No.

189
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,383
It's about my
new boyfriend.

190
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:06,820
He doesn't really exist.

191
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,022
And the rest
of the forfeit.

192
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:13,727
And there is more.
I've been deceiving y'all.

193
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:16,564
But I have decided
to break the circle of lies.

194
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:20,233
My real name
isn't "Samantha."

195
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,636
Wait, so your name's not
Samantha? That's all?

196
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,371
No. There's more.

197
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,239
You're bald?

198
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,908
I'll give you
one more clue.

199
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,410
You're ugly?

200
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,512
Okay, one more clue.

201
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,148
You're a naturist?!

202
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,817
He's a man, Violet!

203
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,220
Well, I guess the clue was
in the name -- Sa-man-tha.

204
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,489
Also, guess what you get
if you switch the letters

205
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,557
of her name around?

206
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,258
"'Thas A Man"!

207
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,727
I'm sorry.

208
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,495
But why would
you lie to us?

209
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,764
I was a bored
house husband.

210
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:53,166
I did try and make
some male friends...

211
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,003
Hey, bro! Did you see
that boxing game last night

212
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,838
with the guy who did
a touchdown in the hoop

213
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,539
with his basketball stick?

214
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,877
Sorry. Excuse me.

215
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,013
Coming through.

216
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,082
Hey, bud, can you pass me
that nut spinner flex?

217
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,953
Here you go.
Wait, what is that?

218
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:14,922
Whoo!

219
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:18,258
- Yeah, nice one!
- Hey!

220
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,793
Not.

221
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:24,231
But I guess I'm just not
that great at being a man.

222
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:27,034
Then I saw you guys.

223
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,937
You were so free and loving.

224
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:33,540
You were just being yourselves.

225
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,108
I did what I had to do!

226
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,577
It's not my fault
if society doesn't approve

227
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,379
of men being friends
with mature women.

228
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,248
Literally no one has
a problem with that.

229
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,449
Ah.

230
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,952
Well, in that case, I did
what I didn't have to do.

231
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,220
Well, Richard, there's something
you should know, too --

232
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,288
Samantha, wait!

233
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,589
It's okay, boys.

234
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:50,991
The cat's out of the bag.

235
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,661
Yeah, or more like
the large pink, naked rabbit

236
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,328
is out of his pants.

237
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:56,563
But before I go,

238
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,332
I would just like to say
one last thing --

239
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,802
Thank you for being a friend.

240
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,972
No please, wait!

241
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:08,508
You're not the only one
who lied.

242
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,177
We all felt
the same way.

243
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,511
Yes. Me too.

244
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,681
I guess not.

245
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,684
Well, this is awkward.

246
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,852
So, I guess we'll
just have to go back to

247
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,854
being sad,
lonely old men.

248
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,923
But why don't you just
carry on hanging out as guys?

249
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,525
Unless we keep
dressing up and just pretend

250
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:26,626
none of this
ever happened!

251
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:27,695
Mm-hmm!

252
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,196
Or you could
just be friends.

253
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,364
Well, if it's a choice
between continuing

254
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,599
to dress up as old ladies...

255
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,801
-It isn't.
-...or we stop

256
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,202
spending time together --
-It isn't.

257
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,204
That's settled then.
We have no option

258
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,506
but to ignore the fact
we're all actually men.

259
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:42,375
-No, you don't.
-We all have to make sacrifices.

260
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,510
No, you don--

261
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:48,348
* You've been a pal
to me for so long now *

262
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:52,219
* Season after season,
you kept going somehow *

263
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,722
* And I know

264
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,656
* You'll always be on cable

265
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,227
Eh. Whatever
floats your boat.

266
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,063
* And when you're needing
a helping hand *

267
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:14,531
**

268
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:25,943
**

269
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:37,220
**