1
00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:13,681
**

2
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:21,289
**

3
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:31,399
**

4
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:34,902
Maybe a little time in here

5
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,171
will help you think about
what you did, Watterson.

6
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,613
Hello. You're
Julius Oppenheimmer Jr., right?

7
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,848
I'm Darwin. We met last year
in the school yard.

8
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,084
Are you the one who screams
when his arms come off?

9
00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:51,685
Mnh-mnh.
Are you the one who

10
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,387
passes out when he's held
upside-down for four hours?

11
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:54,722
Nope!
Are you the one who has

12
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,257
trouble walking
when his legs are pulled off

13
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,691
then put back on
the wrong way around?

14
00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,428
I'll give you a clue --
two weeks of physiotherapy

15
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,196
and a forever-whistling
nose.

16
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,537
Oh, yeah!

17
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,205
You hang out with the
blue one with the big head

18
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,640
who I turned inside-out.

19
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,375
So, how come you're
in dental-tension?

20
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,710
It's called "detention,"
and I'm here 'cause I had

21
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:20,248
a little trouble
with my art project.

22
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,318
"Vandalism"?
Detention!

23
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:25,919
And what are you in for?

24
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,121
Same sort of thing.

25
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,491
"Vandalism is bad"?

26
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,993
Admirable sentiment,
but still vandalism.

27
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,128
Detention!

28
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,829
So, what do you do
in detention?

29
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,065
Well, I was gonna start
with a bit of popping.

30
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,134
Popping?
Man, I love breakdancing!

31
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,569
Then I guess
some mauling.

32
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,404
Going to the mall?
Uh-huh!

33
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,239
And to finish,
some trampling.

34
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,740
They have
a trampoline now?

35
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,243
Aw, man!
Detention sounds great.

36
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:50,478
I guess they must be
going for

37
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,413
a Scandinavian-rehabilitation
approach.

38
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,348
You're pretty naive.

39
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:55,916
I bet you're easy
to manipulate.

40
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,084
I'll do it!

41
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,319
What?
Oh, sorry.

42
00:01:58,352 --> 00:01:59,920
I thought you wanted me
to do something.

43
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,822
Would -- would you like me
to do something?

44
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,191
Hold that thought.

45
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,294
I got one.
He'll do whatever I say,

46
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,595
and we'll never get
in trouble again.

47
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,597
He's a real sucker.
How do I know?

48
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,200
Because he's holding
the phone for me right now.

49
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,001
Want to come hang out
with a bunch of older kids

50
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:17,004
who have a reputation for being
mean and manipulative?

51
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,038
Do I?

52
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,207
Yes, you do.
Yes, I do!

53
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,541
He's perfect.
Let's go.

54
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,178
Wow! You guys
are so friendly.

55
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,315
It's almost, like, too friendly,

56
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,016
but of course
there's no such thing.

57
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,384
So, what are your names?

58
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,653
I'm Reaper.
I'm Scythe.

59
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:33,721
And I'm Phillip.

60
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,789
No, dude,
that's your real name.

61
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,057
And I'm Mowdown.

62
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,527
Reaper, Scythe and Mowdown.
Cool nicknames.

63
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,795
So, I guess you're
from farming families,

64
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,698
or really into
agriculture or something?

65
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,535
Told you he was perfect.

66
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,403
So, do you guys have
a secret handshake?

67
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,739
I got one you
can have -- look!

68
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,843
Then the other guy goes...

69
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:59,813
Then -- that bit obviously works
better if there's two butts.

70
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,649
He's beyond perfect.

71
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,752
He's the unicorn of fools --
the foolicorn.

72
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,321
And I can make him
do anything.

73
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,923
Hey, go clean out
that old woman's purse.

74
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,267
**

75
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,401
Huh?

76
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:26,940
**

77
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:29,743
Hmm?

78
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,245
Oh!

79
00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:41,255
**

80
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,857
All cleaned out.

81
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,626
Okay, we'll
try something else.

82
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,561
Get a $1,000 worth
of pizza delivered

83
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:48,929
to the police precinct

84
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,365
with extra bacon.

85
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:54,268
Got it!

86
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:58,138
Pizza delivery!

87
00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,973
Ah-ah!

88
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,275
Ah!

89
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,711
Wait. Why is that
cop waving at us?

90
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,713
Because of your generosity.
What do you mean?

91
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,548
When the pizza place
asked who it was from,

92
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,550
I said you and luckily
they already had

93
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,884
your credit-card details!

94
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,387
It was supposed to be
cash on delivery.

95
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,055
How is that
a prank otherwise?!

96
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,726
Well, it is kind of a prank,
just not on them.

97
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,828
Hey, guys.
Thanks for the pizzas,

98
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,896
although to make sure
it doesn't look like a bribe,

99
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,400
I'm going to have
to fine you for loitering.

100
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,068
I'm having
a great time.

101
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,071
Okay, guys, give me
one more chance to prove

102
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,473
he's an easy mark.

103
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,475
Er, my name's "Darwin" --
just saying.

104
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:37,578
Okay, you see
that nice, clean van over there?

105
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,246
You're gonna cover
it in dirt.

106
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,482
Right away.

107
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,854
Wow! She looks great!

108
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,289
I was thinking Janice could
do with a little facelift.

109
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,424
Here.

110
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:51,659
Thank you, sir.

111
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,594
I guess the money
should go to the boss.

112
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,195
-Thanks.
-Yo, who's to say

113
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:56,530
I'm not the boss?
Or me?

114
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:57,931
Yeah, you're
not the leader.

115
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,433
You don't have
what it takes.

116
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,335
Oh yeah?
Well take this!

117
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:02,770
Owwww!

118
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,137
Didn't hurt.

119
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,539
I love you

120
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:07,140
this much!
Ignore that!

121
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,376
I hate you this much!

122
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,111
Why you...

123
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,780
Stop!

124
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:13,781
Why?

125
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,949
Because you guys
got to get along,

126
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:19,052
and what better way
than with a song?

127
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,789
* With a friend,
fun will never end *

128
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,492
* You can depend
on the time you sp-- *

129
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,626
Forget it!

130
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,461
He ain't no
friend of mine.

131
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:28,829
Hey! Come back here!

132
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,130
You're not
the boss of us.

133
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,665
You can't even
convince a little kid

134
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,635
to do a single bad thing.

135
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,038
Aw. I had another 23 things
that rhymed with "Friend."

136
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,807
I'll show them.

137
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,643
I'm the master manipulator.
I can make you do anything.

138
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,478
Come on, let's jam.

139
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:48,982
Just come in
whenever you like.

140
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:52,720
**

141
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:55,523
Okay, you're gonna go
and leave a little surprise

142
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,190
in the pool...

143
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,358
using this detergent.

144
00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,660
But trespassing is wrong.

145
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,094
It's one of
the seven sins --

146
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:04,598
along with pride, wrath,
Sleepy, Dopey, Blitzen --

147
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,767
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
It's not trespassing

148
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,236
if it's for
a good cause, heh.

149
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,771
Why is this
a good cause?

150
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:14,107
Because every child deserves
access to clean water?

151
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,342
That is the most

152
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,844
charitable thing
I've ever heard!

153
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,579
Okay, how am I gonna
do this?

154
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,213
Just use your head,
kid.

155
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,415
Okay!

156
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,283
What are you doing?!

157
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,252
Using my head.
Here, use this.

158
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:28,021
Thank you.

159
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,557
Why did you do that?!

160
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,024
To pay for the damage
to the door.

161
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,060
No, it was
to open the door.

162
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,728
It's got my name
and address on it.

163
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,864
Oh, cool, then they'll
be able to return it.

164
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,398
Come here.
We got to get it back.

165
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,368
On the count of three, I'll lift
it up and you drop and roll.

166
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,037
One, two, three.

167
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,873
No, you're supposed
to go in and get --

168
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,074
Aah!!

169
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,275
Give me your phone.

170
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,410
My friend has hurt his foot,

171
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:51,712
and he needs
medical assistance.

172
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,280
Who is that?
911.

173
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,616
Are you crazy?!
Don't worry.

174
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,551
I'm not gonna be all like,
"Oh, yeah, my friend

175
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:59,953
Julius Oppenheimmer Jr.
who lives on Park Road

176
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,623
broke his foot while trying
to trespass at the public pool."

177
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,957
What?!

178
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,059
I mean, "This is
an anonymous call"!

179
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,228
You just gave them
my name and address!

180
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,763
Aah -- anonymously.

181
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,732
And they can trace
the call!

182
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,467
Not anymore.
My phone!

183
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,470
Just help me
get my foot out!

184
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,140
Thanks for nothing!

185
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,845
Aah, they're coming!
You got to help me.

186
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,581
Oh, no,
they're gonna see us!

187
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,416
Quick, let's kiss
to hide our faces.

188
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,084
It always works
in spy movies.

189
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,120
No, no, no, no, no!

190
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,422
Sorry.

191
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,924
I'm fine.
And given the choice,

192
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,792
I'd take this option
again.

193
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,263
No, no, no -- I can't --
I can't walk much further.

194
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,165
I'm gonna need some wheels.

195
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,767
Go and take someone's
bike or something.

196
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,436
Wait, that sounds like
another bad thing.

197
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,272
Well, if you do this
one bad thing now,

198
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,942
we can do two good things
later to make up for it.

199
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,511
You mean like how the Romans
invaded half of the world,

200
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,613
but then invented sandals
and ice cream?

201
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,181
I don't think the Romans
invented ice cream.

202
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,617
Okay just sandals then,
there's two of them.

203
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:04,985
Ahh, just
get on with it.

204
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,654
Yes. Sorry.

205
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,723
I commandeer this vehicle!

206
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,127
Dude! That was
my girlfriend!

207
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,297
Quick! Let's kiss
before she sees you.

208
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,001
Julius, a text would
have been enough.

209
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,537
No, no, no! Wait!
Debbie, I can explain!

210
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,305
Aah!

211
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,141
What have you done?!

212
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,844
I've lost my girlfriend,
my crew,

213
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:33,547
the police are after me,
they've got my address,

214
00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:36,149
my parents
will be mad at me.

215
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,718
You've ruined me!

216
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,587
Who would've thought
my life could've been destroyed

217
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,321
by a dumb sucker
who lives in a world

218
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,489
of kittens and rainbows?

219
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,893
Julius, stop.
You're not making sense.

220
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,895
In a world of
kittens and rainbows,

221
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,197
what would
the kittens eat?

222
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,033
Just go.

223
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,034
N-now?

224
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,869
Immediately.

225
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,439
No! I'm gonna fix this.

226
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,942
Wait for me at the bus stop
in half an hour.

227
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:08,348
**

228
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,583
All fixed!

229
00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:11,685
Really? How?
Well, first...

230
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,020
I spoke to your friends,
and they all agreed

231
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,387
that you had to
stick together

232
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,523
after I told the Bikers
your crew declared

233
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,458
war on them.

234
00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:21,061
What?

235
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,596
Wait, what?
The Bikers?

236
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:26,199
Yeah, and then I patched
things up with your girlfriend.

237
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,901
You're getting married
on Saturday.

238
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,805
Oh! I also fixed
the situation with the police.

239
00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,874
Oh, let me guess --
by making my life worse?

240
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,076
No -- by making
your father's life worse.

241
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,779
I told them that it was
Julius Oppenheimmer Senior

242
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,547
who tried to
break into the pool.

243
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,049
Oh!

244
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,717
Were the coupons
expired?

245
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,218
What?
My Dad's been arrested?

246
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,220
My Mom's gonna go nuts
when she finds out!

247
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,056
She won't.
She's being deported.

248
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,390
But why?!

249
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,226
I changed her passport
to one from Switzenburgenstan.

250
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,261
That's not even a country!

251
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,763
Which is why they're
going to dump her

252
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,831
in unchartered waters
right about now.

253
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,332
Thank you
for flying with us.

254
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:04,504
You've made
everything worse.

255
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:05,505
What?

256
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,507
It was a joke!

257
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,909
What? None of that happened?

258
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,344
No! Now who's easy
to manipulate?

259
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,246
And don't worry,
I fixed everything

260
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,614
with your crew
and your girlfriend.

261
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,183
Oh.

262
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,418
Well, I guess this shows
if you bully someone enough,

263
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,688
it'll eventually backfire
so spectacularly

264
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,090
that it'll teach you
a valuable life lesson.

265
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,191
Which is...?

266
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,794
I should bully
even more people

267
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,195
to learn extra life lessons.

268
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:31,098
What? No!
The lesson is...

269
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,267
Oo-o-oh! You made a joke!

270
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,271
Look, man, I'm sorry.
You're no sucker.

271
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,774
And you're right,
the world needs more buddies,

272
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:41,875
not more bullies.

273
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,043
Want to hug it out?

274
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,545
As long as there's
no kissing.

275
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,380
Oh, but wait.
What about my parents?

276
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,782
Are they still mad at me?

277
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,383
Not after they get
the cake you sent them.

278
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,785
What?
Mm-hmm.

279
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,553
The one with "Sorry"
spelled out in sparklers?

280
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:56,189
Thanks, buddy.

281
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,126
Huh?

282
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,961
You did good, kid.
You did -- wait.

283
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,096
Did you just say
a cake with sparkl--

284
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:14,164
**

285
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:25,575
**

286
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:36,854
**