1 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,698 Huh? 2 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,666 Aah! 3 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,337 Hmm. "Hit the rat three times to get in." 4 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,173 Dad, you made it! 5 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,408 Uh, yeah. 6 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,810 There's food, right? 7 00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:46,279 Happy Vermin Man Day! 8 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,414 Happy what, now? 9 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,515 Grandpa Frankie! 10 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:49,649 Oh, hey, kids. 11 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,518 Uh... Nicole, these are for you. 12 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:52,819 Oh. Thank you. 13 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,621 "You'll always be alive in our hearts... 14 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,623 Great-Aunt Petunia." 15 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,359 Sorry. I couldn't find one that said "Nicole." 16 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,027 Especially not in the dark. 17 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,395 Who invited him? 18 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,431 Me! It's a proper family get-together. 19 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,533 You're late, Dad. You almost missed the song. 20 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:07,867 Well, at least I'm here now. 21 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,669 And if anyone asks, 22 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:12,039 I was also here Thursday night between 8:00 and 11:00. 23 00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:20,012 Come on, kids. All together now for the Vermin Man song! 24 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,149 ♪ Here he comes, the Vermin Man ♪ 25 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:25,785 ♪ He's always ready with a trick or a scam ♪ 26 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,854 ♪ With his one black eye and his pointed nose ♪ 27 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,789 ♪ And an outfit straight from '80s cop shows ♪ 28 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,591 ♪ He's a liar and a rogue and a sponger and a thief ♪ 29 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,528 ♪ He'll take away your happiness and fill you full of grief ♪ 30 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,664 ♪ Here he comes, the Vermin Man ♪ 31 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:40,033 ♪ He's always ready with a trick or a scam ♪ 32 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,270 ♪ He's a no-good husband and a deadbeat dad ♪ 33 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,238 ♪ If he disappeared for good, then we'd all be glad ♪ 34 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,073 ♪ His face is gross, his manner is brash ♪ 35 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,408 ♪ If you split him down the middle ♪ 36 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,077 ♪ All you'll find is trash 37 00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:53,079 ♪ Here he comes, the Vermin Man ♪ 38 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,648 ♪ He's always ready with a trick or a scam ♪ 39 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,784 Where's the candy? There isn't any. 40 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,419 Just garbage to symbolize 41 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,789 how rotten the Vermin Man is on the inside. 42 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,791 ♪ Got a hole for a soul and a heart like a knife ♪ 43 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,693 ♪ He let down his child and wife ♪ 44 00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,595 ♪ Never, ever marry him, he'll ruin your life ♪ 45 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:12,232 ♪ The Vermin Man 46 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:17,036 ♪ He's always ready with a trick or a lie or a con or a hustle ♪ 47 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:20,707 ♪ Or a hoax or a fraud or a racket or a sham ♪ 48 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:24,345 ♪ Or a diddle or a fiddle or a scaaaam ♪ 49 00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:30,383 Well, it wasn't about me. 50 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,718 Yeah, I know. I get the hint. 51 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:32,985 Don't worry, Dad. 52 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,787 The Vermin Man isn't about you. 53 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,823 It's a tradition as old as time. 54 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:39,892 Mom said it started when the Pilgrims first came to this land 55 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,629 and they were all abandoned by their deadbeat father. 56 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,030 You know -- the British. 57 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,265 Mm, no, son. 58 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:48,034 I think it was probably invented by your mom. 59 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:50,069 'Cause she can't stand me. - I invented it 60 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,971 to distract our son from remembering 61 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,106 the date you walked out on us... 62 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,509 and, yes, because I can't stand you. 63 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,144 I'm sorry, Richard. 64 00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,712 I shouldn't have come. 65 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,148 I can't make up for what I've done to you. 66 00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,385 I've missed too much. 67 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,755 Has he gone? 68 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,392 The lousy bum stole my wallet! 69 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,595 Oh, this is bad. 70 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,029 What can we do to cheer him up? 71 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,130 Oh, I know! 72 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,300 Dad rock. 73 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:23,670 ♪ I'm gonna rock you till you feel the rock 'n' roll ♪ 74 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,539 ♪ Rock around the rock that is made out of rock ♪ 75 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,876 ♪ I'm gonna rock it back and forth like a rocking horse ♪ 76 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:33,780 ♪ Gonna quench your thirst with some rock on the rocks ♪ 77 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:37,116 Wow. There's a lot of promise of rocking, but... 78 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,218 Yeah, it's like having someone take you around a theme park 79 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,853 telling you how much fun you're gonna have, 80 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,489 but you never get to go on the rides. 81 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,492 Well, he's kind of rocking. 82 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,128 Just encourage him with a bit of Dad dancing. 83 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,834 What's wrong? 84 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,937 That's the music from my dad's generation. 85 00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,541 ♪ We'll follow you into the -- ♪ 86 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:13,019 Faker. 87 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,755 You only bought the T-shirts for the cool bands, didn't you? 88 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,090 Mm-hmm. Come on. Let's go to Joyful Burger. 89 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,295 For once, you've got our permission to comfort eat. 90 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:23,996 How about a joke? 91 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,398 Knock, knock? Dad?! 92 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,500 What? No. 93 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:30,470 So, that's one large fries. 94 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,872 I mean, I don't have any real... 95 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,541 Beef. ...with my dad. 96 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,008 Sure, he's made mis-- Steaks. 97 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,177 But now there's too much time to... Ketchup. 98 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,513 And all this has left me in a... Bit of a pickle. 99 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:41,814 While he's gone on to make a... 100 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,350 Hash brown. ...of his life. 101 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,584 It's so hard when a parent... 102 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:45,618 Desserts. ...you. 103 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,853 And now I... Doughnut. 104 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:47,887 ...know what to do. 105 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,088 Every night... Ice scream. 106 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:49,957 ...inside. 107 00:04:49,958 --> 00:04:51,157 I just feel so... Waffle. 108 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,792 I ought to tell him how I feel, 109 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,226 but I guess I'm too much of a... 110 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,228 Boneless chicken! 111 00:04:56,229 --> 00:05:00,534 And comfort eating is not going to make me any happier. 112 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,473 This doesn't look good to me. 113 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,508 I don't think anyone would enjoy the sight of a grown man 114 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:11,143 smearing burger meat into his face in a kid's ball pit. 115 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,814 Yep. Even in Japan, that's pretty niche. 116 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,751 Hmm. 117 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,353 Isn't all this eating dangerous? 118 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,790 Nah, this is Richard Watterson. He can take it. 119 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,192 Yeah, I was more worried about the staff. 120 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:29,429 It was like shoveling French fries down an elevator shaft. 121 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:33,132 Well. Now my brain and my stomach are sad. 122 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,735 I've got an idea! 123 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,270 This is what I do when I feel blue. 124 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:41,307 I look at the clouds and see that even the darkest ones 125 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,575 eventually drift away. 126 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,511 And it's fun 'cause they make shapes. 127 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,512 Like that one. 128 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:46,879 It looks like a hat. 129 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,715 A hat like my father's. 130 00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:51,718 - Uh, sure. - How about that one? 131 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,386 It's like a horseshoe. 132 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,621 Shoes are for walking. 133 00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,989 Like he walked out on me. 134 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,758 Well, how about that one? 135 00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,959 It looks like a... uh... 136 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,061 Oh. Looks like a popsicle. 137 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,797 Oh. Uh... I-I guess. 138 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,999 Popsicles are cold like the Arctic Ocean. 139 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,301 And that's cold because it's got lots of icebergs in it. 140 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,870 That's why it's dangerous for ships. 141 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,271 Because icebergs sink ships. 142 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,707 And what's the first thing to leave a sinking ship? 143 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,908 A rat. 144 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,878 And rats are covered in fleas. 145 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,547 Just like my father "flea'd" from me. 146 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:23,349 Yeah, we got it. You could have stopped at "rat." 147 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,751 I just. I... 148 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,185 I don't know what else to do. 149 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,821 Dad, you've just got to talk to Grandpa Frankie about it. 150 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,189 There's no point. 151 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,458 He's just a con man. 152 00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:34,093 The best I can hope for is that the next time I see him, 153 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,262 he doesn't hustle me out of $700 154 00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:38,831 with that ball-and-cups trick... again. 155 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,668 These cups and this ball are worth $2,000. 156 00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,472 But as you're my son, I'll let you have 'em for $700! 157 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,907 I don't know what to say to him. 158 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,309 I can't put it into words. 159 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,711 Would it help to sing it? 160 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,748 You know what? I think maybe it would. 161 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,026 Brrreeeueew! 162 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,695 Was that clear? Uh... 163 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,262 - Uh-huh. - Uh-huh. 164 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,198 But that doesn't mean you can't fix... 165 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:15,234 whatever that was... between you. 166 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,137 I would need to make a time machine. Why? 167 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,939 Because if I invented a time machine, 168 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,375 my dad would be really proud of me. 169 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,811 It's too late, anyway. 170 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,780 I'll never get those years back. 171 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,616 No. Not true. 172 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,050 You can't travel back in time 173 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,019 and experience the things you guys missed, 174 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,187 but you can travel forward in time 175 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,389 and fix the things that are yet to come. 176 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,893 Because the future starts now. 177 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,595 Huh. That was really good, wasn't it? 178 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,230 Kind of surprised myself there. 179 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,265 I was like, "The future starts now." 180 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,934 Bam! Nailed it. 181 00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:50,670 The future starts now... 182 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,238 Now. 183 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,473 Now. 184 00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,178 Can we just -- 185 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,748 Yeah. Sorry. Let's just get on with it. 186 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:04,917 Oh. There you are. 187 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,052 So, here's the plan. 188 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,353 You guys go through everything 189 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,621 a father and son should have shared, 190 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:09,689 but, like, really fast. 191 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,190 Three, two, one. Go! 192 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,492 So, uh... where do we start? 193 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,228 How about a piggyback ride? Okay. 194 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,231 That's as good a place as -- Aah! 195 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,133 You ready, champ? 196 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,335 Yeah! 197 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,171 Well done, son! 198 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,039 And now we run! Why? 199 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,876 Because, technically, that's not our ball. 200 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,411 Huh? 201 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,949 This priceless heirloom was passed down 202 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:40,152 from grandfather to father, and from father to son. 203 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:43,690 And it was passed down from that son's second-story window 204 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:46,192 by my former cellmate to me. 205 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,628 And now it's yours. 206 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,630 I... don't know what to say. 207 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,832 Good. 'Cause anything you do say 208 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,466 might be held against you in court. 209 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,335 What? 210 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,170 Okay, go, go, go, go, go! 211 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,272 Now make sure you don't forget 212 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,975 the little bit under your chin. 213 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,510 Very good. 214 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:05,779 Now the second one. 215 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,781 And now the third. 216 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,983 Great. 217 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,151 Now you just have to slide 218 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,287 down the drain pipe and run. 219 00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,794 Now, first, you release the hand brake. 220 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,030 Now gently slip it into drive. 221 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,032 Aah! Agh, I don't like it, Dad! 222 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,668 It's perfectly normal to be nervous 223 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,102 your first time driving... 224 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,270 a getaway car. 225 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,940 I'm sorry. I can't do this! 226 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,709 Hey, wait! Where are you going?! 227 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,512 Oh. Now reel it in, son. 228 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:41,914 Nice and easy. 229 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,784 Ha ha ha ha! 230 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:46,653 Okay, I think that's enough. 231 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,688 What? What did I do wrong?! 232 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,289 It's no good. 233 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:53,225 I thought this would be a father-and-son bonding thing. 234 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,294 You know? We'd talk about life. 235 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,463 Oh, that's cool. Let's do that now. 236 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,832 That would be nice. 237 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,868 Okay, so, "life." 238 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,636 Life is like 15, 20 years, 239 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,772 but you can be out in 10 with good behavior. 240 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,907 Oh, forget it! 241 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,141 Oh, look, son. 242 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,542 You know what I'm like. 243 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,011 I'm the Vermin Man. 244 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,680 I'm no role model. 245 00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:16,615 I'm more of a parole model. 246 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,317 Eugh. Oh. 247 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,953 Look, I didn't want you to turn out like me. 248 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,021 And I was right. 249 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,190 Look at you. You turned out great. 250 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,992 And your kids love you. 251 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,928 I didn't start off as a good father. 252 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,196 But your kids... 253 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,131 they see you as better than you are, 254 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,266 so every day, you bust your chops 255 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,035 and try to live up to that. 256 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,537 It's too late for me. 257 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,306 No. Not true. 258 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,308 You know what my kids taught me today? 259 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,811 The future starts now. 260 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,545 Yeah. 261 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,749 I'm sorry, son. 262 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,550 I'm sorry, too. 263 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,153 You've got nothing to apologize for. 264 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,487 Yes, I do. 265 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,556 I stole your wallet. 266 00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,159 That's my boy. 267 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,195 And don't worry. It's not mine anyway.