Why do we have to do it in person?
Can't we just pay the cable bill online?
No, because our Internet has been cut off.
Haven't you noticed how weird the kids
have been acting lately?
Memes.
Fails.
Kittens.
Aw, give them time.
I'm sure they'll discover all the good things IRL.
You know, all the hashtag good things
that aren't on the Internet.
If you feel me, smash the like button below.
What are you talking about?
You know, all the good things, like...
Really? You can't think of anything important to you
that's not on the Internet?
Something you've built your life around,
giving you constant emotional support
and joy through the years?
Hmm-mnh.
I'll give you a clue. It begins with "F."
Foo--
Family.
Seamless.
Yeah. Nice save, honey.
Now, you just stay here in the car while I go pay this bill.
Excuse me. I'd like to pay this --
Yo? Yeah, hi.
I'd like to pay this bill, please.
In person? Yes, in person.
Not online? No, in person.
Eh. Hey, Tony.
We got a dinosaur out here.
What, dinosaur?!
Where is it? Where is it?
No, no, no, Tony.
I mean like an old-fashioned person.
Oh, thank goodness. Don't do that!
You know I'm scared of dinosaurs!
I-I'm sorry, man.
Excuse me.
Not to interrupt whatever this is,
but where can I pay this?
Fourth floor, they can help you there.
Thank you. I am so sorry.
Just don't!
Sir, could you keep your sound system down, please?
That's my stomach, Officer.
I'm so hungry.
In fact, I'm so hungry I think I'm hallucinating.
Wow, that was pointless. You're already a hot dog.
For your information, the preferred term
is "artificially flavored reconstituted meat snack."
I suggest you get something to eat, sir.
A vending machine, eh?
Why not pop inside and get yourself something tasty, hmm?
But I don't work there. Just bluff it out.
Act as if you own the place,
and nobody will dare question you.
But Nicole said I had to wait in the car.
Hmm.
Why are you always like this?
Maybe you should sort out your own issues
before advising other people.
Aw, give it a rest, Goody Two-shoes.
Why don't you ever try to see things my way?
Hmm.
You don't have to listen to that guy.
Why not teach him a lesson?
Who are you calling...
I either need some food or some therapy.
Eh, chips are cheaper.
Hmm, hmm.
Excuse me, sir.
Do you have an appointment?
Uh...
Just act like you own the place.
I mean, where's the harm in that?
Eh, just do what he says.
I'm hungry.
Uh, sir?
I don't need an appointment.
I own the place.
I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, sir.
Please don't fire me. I'll tell the CEO immediately.
♪ He's back - ♪ He's back?!
♪ I'll tell him right away
♪ He's back - ♪ He's back?
♪ A monumentous day
♪ Send somebody down to greet him ♪
♪ Who'd have thought I'd finally meet him? ♪
♪ He's back ♪ Who's back?
♪ The founder of this place
♪ Agog ♪ Aghast
♪ But no one's ever seen his face ♪
♪ He's a genius of business
♪ Is there no limit to his wizness? ♪
It's pronounced "wiseness."
♪ You're back I'm back?
♪ Will you please accept this gift? ♪
♪ May I say, sir, you're my hero ♪
♪ To have built this up from zero ♪
♪ John, stop acting like a bootlick ♪
♪ May I offer, Sir, a toothpick? ♪
♪ He's back
Uh...
♪ Here's accounts and acquisitions ♪
♪ Asset strippers ♪ Statisticians
Who can help me pay this bill?
Try level seven. Ask for Phil.
What's that awful stench of evil?
Could be marketing. Or legal.
♪ They say he crushes rivals under foot ♪
♪ Stripped departments, raised output ♪
♪ Dare not look him in the eyes ♪
♪ He's sure to cut you down to size ♪
♪ I'm nervous, apprehensive ♪
♪ Quick, which tie looks more expensive? ♪
♪ I heard he's a giant amongst giants ♪
♪ Six foot six of raw defiance ♪
♪ I heard short and quite abusive ♪
♪ Who can say? He's so reclusive ♪
♪ All fall silent at the ding ♪
♪ What fresh vision will he bring? ♪
♪ Sharing wisdom, insight, knack ♪
Welcome, Founder. You are back.
Yes.
I don't think that's him.
Aah! Of course it's him.
What are the odds someone would show up
pretending to be the founder on the exact day
we invited him to approve the new office design?
Uh, yeah, is that guy going to be okay?
Do you want him to be okay?
Yes?
Hello, Linda, there's a guy coming down to reception.
He's already landed?
Well, sweep him up and pay his medical bills.
He's going to be fine.
Anyway, thanks for coming.
We know you're nominally reclusive,
never leave the house, and, frankly,
we thought you'd been dead for years,
but we're glad you're here. Now, as you know,
we hired the most expensive architect money could buy.
I tell you, I haven't seen so many zeroes
since I walked through economy to get to first class.
Am I right?
Ha ha ha-ha! We're rich!
I must warn you, his designs are pretty cutting-edge,
but we know you're used to thinking
outside the current aesthetic.
Yeah, well, I know a long word, too.
Spaghetti. He's a genius.
Okay. So allow me to present the bold new future of Chanax.
I love it.
Don't you want me to take off the --
No! It's perfect as it is.
Of course. Why didn't we see it before?
The long, sleek columns, the wheel motifs,
the bold silhouette, it's genius.
Well, it certainly taps into the zeitgeist.
Exactly, like a ghost on stilts.
That's what I said, "A ghost on stilts."
Nothing says business like a ghost on stilts.
We'll get construction started right away.
Sir, if I may say,
for too long this company has been held back
by mama's boys, vegetarians, and yes-men.
Am I right? Yes!
What we need now is exactly your kind
of out-of-the-box thinking.
Forget throwing caution to the wind.
You take caution out for a lovely five-course meal,
meet caution's parents,
then skip out the bathroom window during dessert,
leaving caution's dad,
who didn't like you in the first place,
to pick up the tab while you circle around
and set fire to caution's beach house.
Am I right? Yes!
So come on.
I'm sure you have many more bold, seat-of-the-pants,
pull-off-your-own-kneecaps-and - run-them-up-the-flagpole ideas
to share with us.
Uh, yeah. I guess so.
Yes. Yes, I do.
We should start by making the floors less slippy.
Hi.
I'm sure you've noticed
we've made a few changes here at Chanax,
and because we value your opinion
but don't want to talk to you personally,
I'll try and answer some of your questions in this video.
Since I've had my baby, can I switch to more flexible hours?
That's right. The office chairs areboring.
So we're replacing them with an alternative
that's a bit more fun and works better.
That's right. We're putting the "fun"
in functionality.
Funfunctionality.
Whoa!
Will the recent changes affect my pension?
You can't work when you're hungry.
That's why we're installing a pizza kiln at every workstation.
It's too hot to work.
What will happen to my dental plan?
Exactly. We've replaced all the stairs
in the building with slides and flumes.
There's nothing there. It is just a sheer drop.
It'll be done by the time this goes out.
We'll cut it in later. Just jump.
Eh.
Whee!
Ow!
Whee!
Wow, that was so funfunctional.
It works a dream. But what about me?
I'm on a temporary contract.
How will I be affected? And the office itself?
Well, as part of our continuing vision, we are redesigning,
starting with totally removing the structural foundations.
And we've got other exciting innovations
on the way, too, like the double-kiln.
What's with the ridiculous new office furniture?
Why aren't I allowed to open...
What about my dentist?
Drilling out the foundations ain't safe!
Chanax, "We're listening."
Excuse me, Phil?
I was sent here to pay this bill.
I've now been here longer than some of the employees.
- Hey, Nicole. - Oh, hey, Al.
How are the kids?
Working hard or hardly working, Jimbo?
Yeah, ain't that the truth?
What's that?
Oh, that's been happening quite a lot.
They're taking out the foundations.
That really doesn't sound like a good idea.
It beats the triple kiln.
Can I just get this paid?
Yeah, the computer doesn't seem to be responding.
Give it a minute. Right.
I'm going to pay this bill if it's the last thing I do.
Where's your manager?
Ah, save yourselves!
I think she just stepped out.
Then I'm taking this all the way to the top.
To the founder?
If I have to.
Come on. What's wrong with the elevators?
That's a new thing.
You need two people to work it.
Gah. What's this now?
Wait for it.
You have requested the top floor.
Three. Two. One!
What?
You've got to dance to make it go up.
Perfect!
Keep going!
The whole building's crumbling.
The employees have all been sent home.
I see you for what you are now.
A gosh-darned marketing genius!
Think of the publicity.
We'll be all over the front pages,
and the sidewalk, but I get it. It's like the Titanic.
Crashing that boat made it an international superstar.
Come on.
No, I'm staying right here. Why?
I never knew what I wanted to do with my life until now.
You want to dance in the elevator
of a crumbling building?
Oh, yeah. See you at the Christmas party.
Who's in charge, here?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Richard? What are you doing here?
I have absolutely no idea.
This is precisely why I tell you to stay in the car.
Wait a minute. You're not the founder of Chanax?
No, but you guys seemed so convinced,
I figured Imust be in the wrong.
What? You're not a hard-nosed,
no-nonsense business guru at all.
You're a lying, swindling, talentless con artist,
which is, hmm, you know, po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
How do we get out of here?
Well, we had a corporate helipad put in right above us.
- Oh, thank goodness. - But thanks to this brainbox,
we replaced it with something funfunctional.
Ugh. So does that mean I still have to pay this?
Let me take care of that.
Just pay it online.
Hmm?