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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Bette, come here!
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What?
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You're ovulating.
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I'm ovulating.
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Let's make a baby.
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Let's make a baby.
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Why don't you get dressed? And
I'll drop you off on my way to work.
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- Hey, Tim.
- Bye.
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- Good luck.
- Thanks.
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Ah! I am so ready.
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- It's coming.
- Thank you.
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Hi, Shane.
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She doesn't talk to anyone
before her morning shot.
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Here, you go, Don Juan.
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She's a kid.
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- A kid.
- Whatever. It's fine.
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- I mean, don't freak out.
- Okay.
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All right, later, guys.
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- Bye!
- Bye, Lisa.
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See you, Shane.
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- Whoa, you're not leaving already?
- Yeah, I got a 9:00, guys.
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- See you.
- See you.
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Hi.
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- Good morning.
- Good morning.
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I'll meet you at the doctor's.
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Hey, what time are we supposed
to be at what's-his-name's?
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- 11:00.
- Okay. Bye, guys.
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Oh, my God, is it happening today?
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- Is what today?
- The insemination.
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Oh. Mm...
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So you're doing it at the
doctor's office this time?
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But first, Dan Foxworthy.
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- No way.
- Who?
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Why don't I know what
you're talking about?
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Because you don't read.
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And what are you, the
intellectual of life?
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Dan Foxworthy is, like,
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the super-exclusive shrink to the stars.
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He was on our list of L.A.'s
Best Self-Improvement gurus.
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- How did you get that appointment?
- I just called and asked.
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Don't tell Bette I told you, okay?
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But what are you guys doing? I
mean, you don't need a shrink.
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We're just checking in.
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We're about to do this
incredibly major thing.
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But wait, you guys have
the best relationship
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of anybody I know, gay or straight.
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I just want to make sure we're good.
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Sorry.
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Hi.
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Could I offer you a ride?
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- I missed you so much.
- I missed you.
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- Is that all you have?
- That's all I have.
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I can't believe you're here.
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Come on.
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She's always running late.
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She had a board meeting, then
she had a meeting with an artist.
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Bette's the director of
the California Art Center.
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I see.
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And she's probably going to
be really stressed about time.
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After this, we have to go get sperm.
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We're trying to have a baby,
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and our friend Sean's donating.
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Sorry I'm late.
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James, yeah, I got to go in a minute.
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No, no, no, no. The
artwork is way too delicate,
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it's being flown in from Paris,
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and Annie is already a complete
and total nervous wreck.
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Just call Adams Fine Art Movers.
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Tell them, if they want to do
business with C.A.C. again...
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exactly. Okay, great. Thanks. Bye.
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Okay, here I am.
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So...
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We are heading north right now
towards the Hollywood Hills.
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A little further to the
right is the Hollywood sign,
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and if you keep going all
the way in that direction,
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you hit the Pacific ocean.
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Oh, can we go?
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Yeah, whenever you want...
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As often as you want.
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Do you want to tell
me what the thinking is
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behind trying to have a child together
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when your sexual relationship
has been pretty shitty
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- for going on three years?
- It's not shitty.
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- It may not be perfect...
- There's a lot more to a relationship than sex.
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We've been together for seven years.
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I know plenty of couples who
still have sex after seven years.
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It's not like we never have sex.
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A lot of heterosexual
couples have children
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when their relationships aren't perfect.
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You just obviously don't understand
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what happens in a lesbian relationship.
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I knew this was a bad
idea. I don't believe
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that a straight male therapist
can possibly understand.
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Early sex is passionate.
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It's illicit, exciting.
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It still has that...
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... factor, but very quickly
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a kind of symbiosis develops.
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It especially happens between two women
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who are doing the work of making a
serious commitment to one another,
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and when that merging occurs,
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the intense mutual dependency can
be a deterrent to sexual intimacy.
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Oh, my God.
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The lesbian urge to merge.
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- We have to stop now.
- Oh.
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- Do you want to schedule another session?
- We'll let you know.
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I think Tina and I need to talk.
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What about this insemination?
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That's not up for discussion.
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- Not up for discussion?
- No, it's not.
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I quit my job.
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I was a pretty successful
development executive.
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Now I want to relax and
prepare my body for pregnancy.
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That's what I'm doing. I'm
ready to start a family.
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We're both ready to
start a family. Right?
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Absolutely.
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Right.
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Okay. Great.
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So this is it.
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- This is our neighborhood.
- I can't believe this is our home.
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- It's very traditional.
- Wait till you get to know it.
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- What do you mean?
- It's just, uh,
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not as traditional as you might think.
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So here's your new home.
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I can't believe I'm finally here.
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This has been the longest
six months in history, Tim.
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Yeah, but your studio's finally ready.
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Okay, so this used to be a garage.
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Until a few days ago. I
did a remodel on it for you.
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Go on.
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Try it out. Come on.
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Oh, my God!
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I love it!
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I have to go, all
right? I'll be back soon.
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What a fucking auspicious occasion.
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I'd love to break open
a bottle of champagne,
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but I've got to get back
to work sometime today.
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- I'm sorry it's not more enticing.
- Hey, don't worry,
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I do this all the time.
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I love his new work.
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He's using paint so much more freely.
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Yeah, I don't remember his work
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having this much texture.
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Come on! Oh!
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I don't want you to
be stressed out, honey.
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I... I know this is your
first time curating for me,
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and I'm going to give
you a lot of support...
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Hey, listen, this'll lighten your load.
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Guess what Tina has between her legs.
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Close.
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A jar of Sean Heaney's sperm.
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I kid you not.
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She's keeping it warm.
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Well, supposedly, once
it's been ejaculated,
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it survives longer if you
keep it at body temperature.
157
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Huh?
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Oh, uh... hold on a second.
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Uh, it's only about half an inch,
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but they say it's quality, not quantity.
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God, it's repugnant.
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I can't believe I used
to swallow that stuff.
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Yeah, Tina said I could
swim here whenever.
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They're uptight at The Chateau.
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00:10:06,348 --> 00:10:09,415
- How are they uptight?
- Well, they don't let you swim naked.
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It is a public pool.
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All right, I'm going
to take a look at this,
168
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:02,970
and while I'm gone...
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Well, remember how I told you
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that there's a fair
amount of evidence now
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that it's more likely to
take if you're aroused.
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She's not serious.
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Am I supposed to fuck you right here?
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I think it would help.
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This is just...
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This is... This is too weird
for me, I... I mean... I...
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I just... You know, I really...
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Frankly, I find it incredibly
inappropriate that she even suggested it.
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You know, I mean, I bet she would never
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do that with a straight couple.
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Come in.
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00:12:15,893 --> 00:12:17,813
Could you come here a minute, please?
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00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:40,318
You might want to take a look at this.
184
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Shouldn't they be moving more?
185
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Yeah, that's what I wanted to show you.
186
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I am so sorry to tell you, but that
stuff wouldn't get anyone pregnant.
187
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Those little fellas just
don't have what it takes.
188
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,973
- Hello.
- Hi.
189
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,141
What kind of, um, positions
do you have available?
190
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,646
Because I might be looking for a job.
191
00:13:15,727 --> 00:13:18,246
- Oh, um, cashier.
- Really?
192
00:13:18,284 --> 00:13:20,733
- Yeah.
- Excellent.
193
00:13:20,804 --> 00:13:22,979
Um, could I have an application?
194
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,841
- Yeah.
- Great.
195
00:13:24,884 --> 00:13:27,947
- Oh, Tina, where is she?
- There she is.
196
00:13:27,948 --> 00:13:31,463
- Ah!
- Your ladyship, please,
197
00:13:31,528 --> 00:13:32,899
don't jar anything.
198
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,789
It's not like it's going to dislodge
if she sits down too hard, Alice.
199
00:13:35,805 --> 00:13:37,725
There's nothing to dislodge.
200
00:13:37,795 --> 00:13:40,038
Sean's sperm is lackluster.
201
00:13:40,065 --> 00:13:43,056
He has low motility.
No motility, actually.
202
00:13:43,082 --> 00:13:44,561
Oh, my God.
203
00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:46,427
You would never know
it by the way he fucks.
204
00:13:46,552 --> 00:13:48,231
Oh, Christ, Alice.
205
00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:50,232
When are you going to make up
your mind between dick and pussy?
206
00:13:50,256 --> 00:13:54,537
- And spare us the gory bisexual details, please.
- Well, for your information, Dana,
207
00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:57,637
I'm looking for the same qualities
in a man as I am in a woman.
208
00:13:57,762 --> 00:13:59,014
Big tits.
209
00:13:59,036 --> 00:14:01,569
It explains why I haven't
gotten pregnant after six months.
210
00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:04,163
Oh, sorry, Tee. He
was the perfect donor.
211
00:14:04,288 --> 00:14:06,081
He was the one who Bette wanted,
212
00:14:06,132 --> 00:14:08,150
but my egg just implanted,
213
00:14:08,185 --> 00:14:11,055
so I could still conceive anytime
over the next two or three days,
214
00:14:11,075 --> 00:14:13,259
so you got to help
me find another donor.
215
00:14:13,961 --> 00:14:15,763
Oh la la, what's the matter?
216
00:14:17,101 --> 00:14:20,487
- Sean's jism was no good.
- Aw. We'll find you someone else.
217
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,279
- Who? I've got two days.
- Well, between the four of us,
218
00:14:23,288 --> 00:14:25,820
we'll come up with someone.
What, he has to be healthy,
219
00:14:25,835 --> 00:14:28,683
- strong, creative, handsome...
- Artistic.
220
00:14:28,846 --> 00:14:30,223
There's always Shane.
221
00:14:30,232 --> 00:14:31,889
- Guys...
- Hey!
222
00:14:32,014 --> 00:14:34,221
You know, do you have to
dress like that all the time?
223
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:35,877
Like what?
224
00:14:36,002 --> 00:14:37,871
Well, I wouldn't be seen
on the street with you.
225
00:14:37,895 --> 00:14:39,264
- Yeah?
- I mean, every single thing
226
00:14:39,285 --> 00:14:41,815
about the way you're
dressed, like, screams "dyke."
227
00:14:41,901 --> 00:14:44,275
- God, Dana...
- Sorry, man.
228
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,983
Look, if I'm outed, I'm
screwed, Alice, all right?
229
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,212
Sponsors aren't exactly clamoring
to have their stuff repped
230
00:14:49,233 --> 00:14:52,101
- by big old lezzie tennis players.
- No, no, no, look, it's cool.
231
00:14:52,122 --> 00:14:54,035
I totally dig you need to make a living.
232
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,750
I'm meeting a client anyway.
233
00:14:56,843 --> 00:14:58,632
You know, you are going to pickle
234
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,582
in that self-loathing
homophobia, I swear.
235
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:01,638
Yeah? Well, you're going to shrivel
236
00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:04,344
- in that self-righteous priggishness.
- You guys...
237
00:15:06,301 --> 00:15:10,472
All right, who would
squirt into a jar for you?
238
00:15:12,262 --> 00:15:14,209
Hello...
239
00:15:22,303 --> 00:15:25,607
- What?
- You are just so gay.
240
00:15:25,688 --> 00:15:27,382
So gay.
241
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:29,278
I know.
242
00:15:29,506 --> 00:15:31,124
I know...
243
00:15:31,377 --> 00:15:35,248
Do you, uh... do you know
the neighbors next door?
244
00:15:37,053 --> 00:15:41,377
- Bette and Tina?
- Yeah. Are they, um, like, a couple?
245
00:15:41,409 --> 00:15:42,829
Yeah, they are.
246
00:15:42,856 --> 00:15:46,462
Because I saw them having sex
in their pool this afternoon.
247
00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:48,160
No way. Not Bette and Tina.
248
00:15:48,172 --> 00:15:52,127
- What, they don't have sex?
- No, probably they do, it's just that...
249
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,888
You sure you saw them getting down?
250
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,742
I saw them getting way down, Tim.
251
00:15:58,867 --> 00:16:00,854
- Is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
252
00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:02,668
Why don't you tell me about it?
253
00:16:03,404 --> 00:16:05,056
Okay.
254
00:16:08,798 --> 00:16:11,013
There was this girl...
255
00:16:12,648 --> 00:16:15,052
With short black hair...
256
00:16:17,472 --> 00:16:19,548
And she walks out,
257
00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:23,769
and she takes off her clothes
in, like, two seconds flat.
258
00:16:23,796 --> 00:16:26,249
Yeah? Like this?
259
00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:29,854
- I think it was a little bit faster.
- Oh, really?
260
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,801
- Yeah, I do.
- We'll work on that.
261
00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:36,453
Okay. And then there
was, um, this blonde girl
262
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:39,588
who had these really beautiful breasts,
263
00:16:40,513 --> 00:16:42,891
but I wasn't really
watching that closely.
264
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,327
Oh, I think you were watching...
265
00:16:47,314 --> 00:16:49,366
Very closely.
266
00:16:49,436 --> 00:16:51,232
What did they do next?
267
00:16:51,291 --> 00:16:52,678
Come on.
268
00:16:52,732 --> 00:16:56,508
The tall skinny one takes
the blonde vampy one...
269
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,914
backs her against the side of the pool
270
00:17:02,764 --> 00:17:05,797
and then she begins to fuck her.
271
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,618
Like this?
272
00:17:19,861 --> 00:17:21,910
Oh, fuck...
273
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:51,879
Trish... your backstroke
is looking much better.
274
00:17:51,899 --> 00:17:54,115
- Oh, thanks.
- You're looking good for USC.
275
00:17:54,422 --> 00:17:57,109
You guys got some extra
stroke training scheduled?
276
00:17:57,234 --> 00:17:59,862
- Yeah, tomorrow after physics, right?
- Yeah.
277
00:17:59,905 --> 00:18:01,962
Hey, do you think that you
could maybe come with me
278
00:18:01,983 --> 00:18:04,590
in the morning to talk to Durst
about repeating my midterm?
279
00:18:04,638 --> 00:18:06,436
I can't really do it in the morning.
280
00:18:06,477 --> 00:18:08,377
My girlfriend Jenny's in town.
281
00:18:08,395 --> 00:18:10,984
She wants me to take her car shopping.
282
00:18:11,509 --> 00:18:13,204
Oh, she's moving here?
283
00:18:13,221 --> 00:18:15,338
Yep. She's in it for the long haul.
284
00:18:15,944 --> 00:18:17,454
Oh.
285
00:18:18,044 --> 00:18:19,545
Trish...
286
00:18:20,496 --> 00:18:23,443
maybe after practice, you and
I can go talk to Durst together.
287
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,031
Okay.
288
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,814
Now, you know you just broke
that girl's heart, right?
289
00:18:33,838 --> 00:18:35,683
Sorry, man, what was I supposed to do?
290
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,374
Oh, my God, is that Dana Fairbanks
291
00:18:39,391 --> 00:18:42,035
- at The Planet in West Hollywood?
- Shh!
292
00:18:42,069 --> 00:18:45,012
She doesn't want her tennis
fans to know she's a gay lady.
293
00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:48,041
Funny.
294
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:49,562
Okay, fine.
295
00:18:49,599 --> 00:18:51,307
What do you guys think
about butt waxing?
296
00:18:51,342 --> 00:18:54,251
- Who has hair on their butt?
- I don't know.
297
00:18:57,007 --> 00:18:58,748
At least I don't anymore.
298
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:00,136
Why don't you just trim it?
299
00:19:00,162 --> 00:19:01,635
Listen, you guys, you'll
have to figure this all out
300
00:19:01,657 --> 00:19:03,736
- without the benefit of my wisdom.
- Oh!
301
00:19:03,773 --> 00:19:06,339
Bette, Tina, guess what.
I had a genius idea.
302
00:19:06,374 --> 00:19:08,210
I have solved your donor problem.
303
00:19:08,507 --> 00:19:10,934
You two are having a
party this Saturday night,
304
00:19:10,957 --> 00:19:13,111
and we are inviting all the
eligible men that we know.
305
00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:14,862
Oh, yeah, that's right, all two of them.
306
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:17,814
No, yeah. Get them all
together at one time.
307
00:19:17,844 --> 00:19:20,374
Right, just go fishing in the pond.
308
00:19:20,442 --> 00:19:21,557
Great.
309
00:19:21,888 --> 00:19:22,942
Great.
310
00:19:22,972 --> 00:19:24,728
I'm leaving now.
311
00:19:24,947 --> 00:19:27,808
- I'm going to call you about that!
- Okay.
312
00:19:27,986 --> 00:19:29,610
Back to my question, please.
313
00:19:29,658 --> 00:19:33,424
Okay... Trimming is essential. You know?
314
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,166
You just do it a few
days before you get laid.
315
00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:36,700
Assuming you ever do.
316
00:19:37,797 --> 00:19:39,100
Whatever you do,
317
00:19:39,122 --> 00:19:40,404
you have to deal with it.
318
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,836
Otherwise you'll never
have bush confidence.
319
00:19:42,862 --> 00:19:44,359
If you don't have bush confidence,
320
00:19:44,368 --> 00:19:45,947
you won't feel good about your bush,
321
00:19:45,998 --> 00:19:47,732
and you'll never get laid.
322
00:19:47,805 --> 00:19:49,242
So deal with it.
323
00:19:50,718 --> 00:19:51,957
Okay.
324
00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:07,291
Do you need any rosemary?
325
00:20:07,553 --> 00:20:09,834
It's kind of taking over my garden.
326
00:20:09,851 --> 00:20:10,871
Oh, hi.
327
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:13,444
- Did I scare you? I'm sorry.
- Oh, no, no. Not at all.
328
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:14,532
I'm Jenny.
329
00:20:14,575 --> 00:20:16,103
I'm Tina. It's nice to meet you.
330
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,396
I would love some rosemary.
331
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,011
Thanks.
332
00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:23,103
I have this story that
I've written called
333
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:24,863
"Thus Spoke Sarah Shuster... "
334
00:20:24,884 --> 00:20:27,091
I feel like that's, like, the last story
335
00:20:27,104 --> 00:20:29,299
that I ever want to write
about being a student.
336
00:20:29,324 --> 00:20:32,009
Oh, you might change your
mind when you get older.
337
00:20:32,035 --> 00:20:34,389
I'm actually thinking
about going back to school.
338
00:20:34,514 --> 00:20:36,803
- I'd like a new career.
- You should do it.
339
00:20:36,928 --> 00:20:38,105
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
340
00:20:38,115 --> 00:20:39,661
Maybe in a couple years.
341
00:20:39,695 --> 00:20:42,040
Right now I'm trying to have a baby.
342
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,395
Really?
343
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,368
But Tim said that you and... Bette...
344
00:20:46,394 --> 00:20:48,284
- Yeah.
- Were a couple.
345
00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:49,941
- We are.
- Oh.
346
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:52,979
- And I'm trying to get pregnant.
- Oh, my God, yes. No.
347
00:20:53,022 --> 00:20:55,527
- Yes.
- Well, everything still works.
348
00:20:55,553 --> 00:20:57,243
- Yes.
- We can still have babies.
349
00:20:57,277 --> 00:20:58,398
It's just like...
350
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,672
There was, like, a
momentary brain lapse.
351
00:21:00,855 --> 00:21:02,813
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
352
00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:04,780
Hey.
353
00:21:04,822 --> 00:21:07,048
- Gay dads group.
- Oh, my God.
354
00:21:07,073 --> 00:21:09,387
They meet once a week
at a house over on Ogden.
355
00:21:09,409 --> 00:21:11,393
It's all very L.A., huh?
356
00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:14,497
No, it's nice.
357
00:21:15,336 --> 00:21:18,293
Um, I should go home and write.
358
00:21:19,004 --> 00:21:20,741
Okay.
359
00:21:21,441 --> 00:21:25,082
- Thank you very much for the rosemary.
- You're welcome.
360
00:21:25,207 --> 00:21:26,926
We're having a party tomorrow night.
361
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:29,152
- Oh, yeah?
- You and Tim should come.
362
00:21:29,637 --> 00:21:32,068
Okay. I'll ask Tim if he wants to.
363
00:21:32,265 --> 00:21:34,748
- Nice meeting you.
- It was nice to meet you, too, Jenny.
364
00:21:34,808 --> 00:21:35,895
Bye.
365
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:00,627
Hey...
366
00:22:00,669 --> 00:22:02,391
What do you have to
say for yourself, huh?
367
00:22:02,413 --> 00:22:04,130
Can I see your license and registration?
368
00:22:04,181 --> 00:22:07,034
- Look, I really got to...
- Ma'am.
369
00:22:07,085 --> 00:22:10,493
Okay. I... hang on.
370
00:22:12,848 --> 00:22:14,641
You know, I was on my way
371
00:22:14,689 --> 00:22:17,352
to my first paying gig in over a year.
372
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:29,756
You are so overreacting.
She is our friend.
373
00:22:29,794 --> 00:22:32,546
Oh! Like that's ever stopped you before.
374
00:22:32,595 --> 00:22:35,304
- Like that's ever stopped anyone before.
- You're right.
375
00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:37,238
Lesbians think friendship's
another word for foreplay.
376
00:22:38,874 --> 00:22:40,001
Hello.
377
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:41,376
How you doing?
378
00:22:41,836 --> 00:22:44,661
Have you ever noticed that every
time Shane walks into a room,
379
00:22:44,705 --> 00:22:46,300
someone leaves crying?
380
00:22:46,333 --> 00:22:48,355
- Shane?
- Yeah? Hey...
381
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,427
Hey, how come you didn't
call me the other night?
382
00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:53,456
- I left, like, five messages.
- Oh. Well,
383
00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:55,145
you know, I haven't had my cell phone.
384
00:22:55,181 --> 00:22:58,585
So, when I go get my cell
phone and I check my messages,
385
00:22:58,601 --> 00:23:00,193
I will call you.
386
00:23:00,252 --> 00:23:02,272
All right? It was good
to see you, though.
387
00:23:02,296 --> 00:23:03,683
- Mm-hmm.
- You take care.
388
00:23:06,575 --> 00:23:09,890
It's just wrong. You just
can't treat people like that.
389
00:23:09,939 --> 00:23:11,638
You have to tell Shane...
390
00:23:11,697 --> 00:23:13,375
That that's just not right.
391
00:23:13,418 --> 00:23:16,210
Okay. I'll tell her.
392
00:23:21,271 --> 00:23:23,637
- Hi.
- Hi. Welcome.
393
00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:30,175
Bette, everyone, I want you to
meet our next-door neighbors.
394
00:23:30,210 --> 00:23:31,426
- This is Tim...
- Oh, hi.
395
00:23:31,468 --> 00:23:32,834
- Oh, and this must be...
- Jenny.
396
00:23:32,864 --> 00:23:33,935
Nice to meet you. Bette.
397
00:23:33,957 --> 00:23:35,952
And Alice Pieszecki
and Shane McCutcheon.
398
00:23:36,077 --> 00:23:37,595
Nice to meet you.
399
00:23:37,596 --> 00:23:40,163
Excuse me. Are you Dana Fairbanks?
400
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,408
- I'm sorry. What?
- Dana Fairbanks.
401
00:23:42,443 --> 00:23:45,343
- Yes. I am.
- I'm a huge fan.
402
00:23:45,552 --> 00:23:47,903
- Really?
- I saw you almost beat Capriati last year
403
00:23:47,914 --> 00:23:49,333
at the women's invitational.
404
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:52,154
- Great. She's going to be insufferable.
- Oh, God, it's just one fan.
405
00:23:52,171 --> 00:23:54,803
- It's okay.
- Jenny, this is Dana Fairbanks.
406
00:23:54,825 --> 00:23:57,052
- Hi.
- She's one of the best players
407
00:23:57,077 --> 00:23:59,009
on the women's tennis circuit right now.
408
00:23:59,068 --> 00:24:01,440
This is my doubles
partner, Harrison Landy.
409
00:24:01,461 --> 00:24:04,710
- Um, honey, this is Tim...
- Tim.
410
00:24:04,736 --> 00:24:06,974
- Tim and Jenny.
- Good to meet you. Jenny.
411
00:24:08,170 --> 00:24:10,807
- Nice to meet you.
- What the hell are you doing?
412
00:24:10,812 --> 00:24:12,813
- Field research.
- Yeah, there's a scientist
413
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,545
at the national enquirer who says that
414
00:24:14,554 --> 00:24:17,340
if your ring finger is
longer than your index finger,
415
00:24:17,395 --> 00:24:19,262
- it means you're a lesbian.
- Mm-hmm.
416
00:24:19,279 --> 00:24:20,767
Yeah. Totally gay.
417
00:24:20,809 --> 00:24:22,067
Was there ever any doubt?
418
00:24:22,506 --> 00:24:24,437
Oh, my God, look. I'm gay, too.
419
00:24:24,479 --> 00:24:26,439
Thank God. Otherwise
I'd have to leave you.
420
00:24:28,358 --> 00:24:30,698
Okay, Alice makes the
team, but just barely.
421
00:24:30,771 --> 00:24:32,053
This may be controversial,
422
00:24:32,062 --> 00:24:35,327
but it seems like I
might be a lesbian, too.
423
00:24:36,305 --> 00:24:38,034
Oh, that's so weird.
424
00:24:38,051 --> 00:24:41,094
Her index finger and ring finger
are exactly the same length.
425
00:24:41,115 --> 00:24:42,948
- What does that mean?
- Maybe she's bisexual.
426
00:24:42,956 --> 00:24:45,043
Oh, look, there's Simon Bonham.
427
00:24:45,069 --> 00:24:47,804
Dana and Harrison, can you make
Tim and Jenny a drink for me?
428
00:24:47,826 --> 00:24:49,601
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
429
00:24:49,666 --> 00:24:51,429
- Uh, drinks? Kitchen?
- Yeah.
430
00:24:51,461 --> 00:24:53,484
- Great.
- So, Tim, do you play tennis?
431
00:24:53,527 --> 00:24:55,646
'Cause I'm always looking
for a little action.
432
00:24:55,667 --> 00:24:58,916
- Okay, drinks.
- Uh, actually, I'm a swim coach.
433
00:24:58,981 --> 00:25:00,454
Oh.
434
00:25:03,429 --> 00:25:05,000
According to our computer, ma'am,
435
00:25:05,048 --> 00:25:07,414
this license was revoked six months ago.
436
00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:09,894
Well, that's what I
would call a technicality.
437
00:25:09,921 --> 00:25:11,147
If you want to get technical,
438
00:25:11,158 --> 00:25:13,293
I should haul you downtown
and throw you in jail.
439
00:25:13,309 --> 00:25:15,215
I was on my way to a gig at the Roxy.
440
00:25:15,239 --> 00:25:17,799
Yeah, y... you know Ivan
Neville, he's on the bill with me.
441
00:25:17,815 --> 00:25:20,887
Well, he and I were going to
check out an A.A. meeting together.
442
00:25:20,913 --> 00:25:23,775
- Ivan Neville of the Neville brothers?
- Yeah.
443
00:25:23,823 --> 00:25:25,737
God, I love the Neville brothers.
444
00:25:26,049 --> 00:25:28,970
Oh. Oh, we... Have you
ever seen them in concert?
445
00:25:29,159 --> 00:25:32,487
Well, once, years ago. Back when
I was stationed in New Orleans.
446
00:25:32,541 --> 00:25:36,182
Oh... well, have you ever been onstage,
447
00:25:36,218 --> 00:25:40,639
five feet away from Aaron
and his brothers, performing?
448
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,979
Say, like, uh, uh...
449
00:25:43,635 --> 00:25:46,394
A month from now at the House of Blues?
450
00:25:46,436 --> 00:25:48,675
You know, I could hook you up.
451
00:25:50,826 --> 00:25:54,838
All right, look, this is
still revoked. All right?
452
00:25:55,644 --> 00:25:58,219
And we have to leave the car.
453
00:25:59,910 --> 00:26:03,078
... like a tough sort of tennis player.
454
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,276
No, I'd never wear...
It's too masculine for me.
455
00:26:05,309 --> 00:26:07,300
- I would never wear anything like that.
- I like it.
456
00:26:07,321 --> 00:26:09,245
No, it looks great on him, doesn't it?
457
00:26:09,261 --> 00:26:10,713
It's kind of sexy.
458
00:26:11,025 --> 00:26:12,993
Wow.
459
00:26:13,213 --> 00:26:16,563
This is very... a
very interesting party.
460
00:26:16,591 --> 00:26:19,118
Oh, that's because Bette's
a big art world lady,
461
00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:21,055
so there are a lot of artists.
462
00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:23,166
- Yeah, and a lot of...
- Lezzies?
463
00:26:23,247 --> 00:26:25,135
- Mm-hmm.
- Really? Are there really?
464
00:26:25,151 --> 00:26:28,215
- You know, I hadn't noticed that.
- Yeah, it's kind of hard to miss.
465
00:26:28,247 --> 00:26:30,188
Tina told me that she and Bette
466
00:26:30,204 --> 00:26:32,512
- are thinking about having a baby.
- Mm-hmm.
467
00:26:32,523 --> 00:26:34,712
Oh, there's a lot of that going around.
468
00:26:35,825 --> 00:26:38,526
They even had to
change that famous joke.
469
00:26:38,596 --> 00:26:40,172
It used to be,
470
00:26:40,183 --> 00:26:42,951
"What do lesbians
bring on a second date?
471
00:26:43,307 --> 00:26:45,259
A moving van."
472
00:26:45,324 --> 00:26:46,856
Now it's,
473
00:26:46,981 --> 00:26:50,733
"What do lesbians
bring on a second date?
474
00:26:51,626 --> 00:26:53,874
A turkey baster."
475
00:26:57,341 --> 00:26:59,323
That's so funny.
476
00:26:59,366 --> 00:27:02,911
Honey, I don't even know
why you'd know that joke.
477
00:27:02,932 --> 00:27:04,885
Who's he been hanging out with, huh?
478
00:27:05,556 --> 00:27:07,476
Excuse me.
479
00:27:09,477 --> 00:27:11,790
- ... commitment from you. That's really not what we're...
- Excuse me.
480
00:27:11,814 --> 00:27:13,370
Hi, I'm sorry. What were you thinking?
481
00:27:13,641 --> 00:27:15,780
Excuse me, Simon. What
was I thinking, what?
482
00:27:15,814 --> 00:27:18,547
Inviting those geeky straight
people. I'm sorry. No offense.
483
00:27:18,672 --> 00:27:20,635
I mean, I've got to hang
on Harrison all night long
484
00:27:20,646 --> 00:27:23,297
- like some big fat hetero.
- Excuse me, Dana.
485
00:27:23,631 --> 00:27:26,519
We really love you, but
it's not our cross to bear
486
00:27:26,536 --> 00:27:27,971
that you and Harrison have decided
487
00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:30,187
to masquerade as Ozzie and Harriet.
488
00:27:31,208 --> 00:27:33,877
- Okay?
- Great. Thanks.
489
00:27:33,938 --> 00:27:36,141
Sorry, Simon. So what was I saying?
490
00:27:36,163 --> 00:27:38,088
- Commitment.
- Oh, right, commitment.
491
00:27:38,213 --> 00:27:40,852
We wouldn't expect any
kind of commitment from you,
492
00:27:40,874 --> 00:27:42,599
financial or otherwise. I mean, really,
493
00:27:42,621 --> 00:27:44,867
you wouldn't even have to
know the child if you didn't...
494
00:27:44,992 --> 00:27:46,974
Although it would be nice
if you wanted to have...
495
00:27:47,034 --> 00:27:50,239
I mean, we would like it if our donor
had a relationship with our child.
496
00:27:50,256 --> 00:27:51,853
Yeah, but you'd have
to sign a donor contract
497
00:27:51,870 --> 00:27:56,500
- relinquishing all parental rights...
- Whoa, Bette, Tina, slow down.
498
00:27:57,347 --> 00:27:59,743
- I don't want you to waste your breath.
- What?
499
00:27:59,985 --> 00:28:03,153
I'm flattered. I'm totally flattered,
500
00:28:03,220 --> 00:28:05,434
but I just couldn't handle it.
501
00:28:05,449 --> 00:28:08,567
I mean, what happens
when this kid turns 17,
502
00:28:08,584 --> 00:28:11,594
his life's a complete mess,
and he hates both of your guts
503
00:28:11,615 --> 00:28:14,025
and the next thing I know,
he's camped out on my doorstep
504
00:28:14,042 --> 00:28:16,786
asking me to save him from
his miserable fucking life?
505
00:28:17,879 --> 00:28:19,399
I can't do that.
506
00:28:19,835 --> 00:28:21,438
Um...
507
00:28:24,428 --> 00:28:26,579
Best first fiction?
508
00:28:26,638 --> 00:28:28,203
Yes.
509
00:28:28,585 --> 00:28:32,711
- Wow, isn't that, like, a major prize?
- Um, I guess so.
510
00:28:32,749 --> 00:28:36,208
So, um, what's the story about?
511
00:28:37,835 --> 00:28:41,164
I have this, uh, this
character that I write about
512
00:28:41,185 --> 00:28:44,159
that's sort of like this
alter ego, but not really,
513
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,924
and the story's called
"Thus Spoke Sarah Shuster."
514
00:28:48,956 --> 00:28:51,000
That's pretty bold.
515
00:28:51,613 --> 00:28:53,113
I hope you're good.
516
00:28:53,964 --> 00:28:57,537
Um, Jenny, this is Marina.
She owns The Planet.
517
00:28:57,545 --> 00:29:01,158
- It's a little café down on Santa Monica...
- Yeah, I... I walked by the other day,
518
00:29:01,173 --> 00:29:04,029
but it was too crowded,
so I didn't go in.
519
00:29:04,094 --> 00:29:05,588
It gets really crowded,
520
00:29:05,637 --> 00:29:09,047
thanks to Alice, who wrote
me up in her magazine.
521
00:29:10,112 --> 00:29:12,714
- Are you a writer?
- Yeah, for L.A. Magazine.
522
00:29:12,767 --> 00:29:15,980
Yeah, more of a journalist...
Little different from you.
523
00:29:16,001 --> 00:29:19,443
- I don't think it's different...
- Jenny just won this literary prize,
524
00:29:19,459 --> 00:29:22,417
really big, for the story
she was just talking about,
525
00:29:22,438 --> 00:29:25,864
- "Just Spoke" something...
- Oh, "Thus Spoke Zarathustra."
526
00:29:25,869 --> 00:29:27,635
That's a Nietzsche reference.
527
00:29:27,651 --> 00:29:29,572
- Yeah.
- Has your story been published?
528
00:29:29,588 --> 00:29:33,858
Yes. It'll be in the next Best
American Short Stories. Right?
529
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,211
Which is... I don't know if I told you,
530
00:29:35,219 --> 00:29:37,159
but I write a lot of "Best Of" pieces.
531
00:29:37,340 --> 00:29:39,211
That's where I discovered Amy Bloom.
532
00:29:39,228 --> 00:29:42,677
I read this beautiful story
she wrote called, um...
533
00:29:43,087 --> 00:29:45,110
Silver Water.
534
00:29:45,482 --> 00:29:46,983
"Come to Me."
535
00:29:47,004 --> 00:29:49,355
That's one of my favorite collections.
536
00:29:49,388 --> 00:29:52,189
I think that I've probably read
537
00:29:52,205 --> 00:29:54,523
everything that Amy
Bloom has ever written.
538
00:29:54,577 --> 00:29:58,212
I'm about to start on this
"Best Cosmetics Under $100."
539
00:29:58,242 --> 00:30:01,515
- Oh.
- There's supposedly this guy in Calabasas
540
00:30:01,531 --> 00:30:04,559
who does these Botox
injections for 75 bucks a pop.
541
00:30:04,569 --> 00:30:06,188
Oh. Isn't that illegal?
542
00:30:06,194 --> 00:30:08,640
Have you read anything by Anne Carson?
543
00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:12,868
"Autobiography of Red... "
544
00:30:13,293 --> 00:30:15,546
"Eros the Bittersweet."
545
00:30:15,671 --> 00:30:19,762
I think those books
practically changed my life.
546
00:30:21,333 --> 00:30:24,017
What about you. Have you read them?
547
00:30:24,049 --> 00:30:25,803
Yes.
548
00:30:26,394 --> 00:30:28,056
Wow!
549
00:30:28,115 --> 00:30:32,406
You guys should totally take the
Cosmo romance compatibility quiz.
550
00:30:32,992 --> 00:30:35,142
Well, this would be my singular
551
00:30:35,143 --> 00:30:37,602
romantic compatibility question.
552
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:43,572
What is your favorite...
No, no, your most...
553
00:30:43,830 --> 00:30:48,234
Influential, important,
life-altering book of all time?
554
00:30:54,510 --> 00:30:56,602
I don't know if I want to answer that.
555
00:30:59,732 --> 00:31:01,178
What's yours?
556
00:31:01,303 --> 00:31:03,086
I asked you first.
557
00:31:04,561 --> 00:31:06,346
I have an idea.
558
00:31:06,590 --> 00:31:08,950
Jenny, you could whisper
yours in this ear,
559
00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:10,662
and, Marina, you can
whisper yours in this ear,
560
00:31:10,676 --> 00:31:12,637
and I'll tell you if you're compatible.
561
00:31:12,678 --> 00:31:14,540
I think I already know.
562
00:31:23,566 --> 00:31:25,637
Whatever. I'm just
563
00:31:25,701 --> 00:31:28,272
going to leave you two
alone to get married.
564
00:31:30,187 --> 00:31:31,854
What did you say?
565
00:31:32,300 --> 00:31:34,290
What did you say?
566
00:31:37,565 --> 00:31:39,140
Bette was set on an artist,
567
00:31:39,164 --> 00:31:41,307
but she says that you
have exquisite taste
568
00:31:41,308 --> 00:31:43,781
- in the work that you show in your gallery.
- I do.
569
00:31:43,785 --> 00:31:46,022
- Aw... You said that?
- Mm-hmm.
570
00:31:46,033 --> 00:31:48,587
I got to tell you, I
couldn't be more flattered.
571
00:31:48,619 --> 00:31:50,744
I know you two are going
to be wonderful mothers,
572
00:31:50,758 --> 00:31:52,729
and I bet you'll have guys
lining up around the block,
573
00:31:52,734 --> 00:31:53,987
begging to jerk off for you.
574
00:31:54,315 --> 00:31:56,858
Robin, are you setting
us up for a turn-down?
575
00:31:56,892 --> 00:31:59,542
Believe me, it's got
nothing to do with you guys.
576
00:31:59,572 --> 00:32:01,005
No, I have no
reservations about you two.
577
00:32:01,009 --> 00:32:02,338
It's my own genetic shortcomings,
578
00:32:02,342 --> 00:32:04,438
which I wouldn't want
to pass on to any child.
579
00:32:04,898 --> 00:32:06,933
I mean, look how bow-legged I am.
580
00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:08,516
It's a family trait.
581
00:32:08,723 --> 00:32:10,392
Oh, that's cute. We
could live with that.
582
00:32:10,732 --> 00:32:12,466
I also carry the gene for buck teeth.
583
00:32:12,496 --> 00:32:14,033
My mother and my three
sisters are all...
584
00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:15,722
There are always braces.
585
00:32:17,564 --> 00:32:19,582
We also have a propensity for shingles,
586
00:32:19,620 --> 00:32:21,289
early onset manic depression.
587
00:32:21,331 --> 00:32:22,707
Both treatable.
588
00:32:23,032 --> 00:32:25,000
Premature hair loss, among the women,
589
00:32:25,025 --> 00:32:26,398
as well as the men...
590
00:32:26,437 --> 00:32:29,003
- We could get one of those...
- A weave.
591
00:32:29,062 --> 00:32:31,967
Also a hideous tendency to drool...
592
00:32:32,392 --> 00:32:33,881
Okay.
593
00:32:33,898 --> 00:32:35,715
- We get the picture.
- We get it.
594
00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:37,658
Okay.
595
00:32:37,671 --> 00:32:39,557
- Yep.
- Thank you.
596
00:32:39,558 --> 00:32:41,109
- Thanks, Robin.
- Sure.
597
00:32:41,117 --> 00:32:42,978
Sorry. Good luck.
598
00:32:44,641 --> 00:32:47,008
I'm really sorry you missed your gig.
599
00:32:48,152 --> 00:32:50,097
And you know what to do about you car?
600
00:32:50,161 --> 00:32:51,392
Yeah.
601
00:32:51,697 --> 00:32:54,864
Yeah, don't go beating
yourself up over it.
602
00:32:59,012 --> 00:33:01,621
You are one decent human being,
603
00:33:01,626 --> 00:33:04,654
and that's rare in this soulless town.
604
00:33:04,779 --> 00:33:06,413
Keep it real.
605
00:33:06,811 --> 00:33:08,364
All right.
606
00:33:13,382 --> 00:33:15,975
- No way.
- Kit!
607
00:33:16,002 --> 00:33:17,970
- Hi!
- Hey, girl, what's up?
608
00:33:18,012 --> 00:33:19,386
- Good to see you.
- How you doing?
609
00:33:19,403 --> 00:33:20,599
Come on in. Welcome.
610
00:33:20,638 --> 00:33:22,290
Yeah, thanks, girl.
611
00:33:31,528 --> 00:33:32,905
Hey.
612
00:33:33,649 --> 00:33:34,974
There you are.
613
00:33:35,297 --> 00:33:37,762
I'm just waiting for the washroom.
614
00:33:44,816 --> 00:33:46,671
Do you want to...
615
00:34:26,318 --> 00:34:29,117
- You were on the Olympic swim team?
- Yeah, I was.
616
00:34:29,138 --> 00:34:32,217
This is amazing. I have a project
about competitive swimming,
617
00:34:32,223 --> 00:34:34,615
but we haven't been
able to crack the story.
618
00:34:34,839 --> 00:34:36,589
Would you be interested?
619
00:34:39,433 --> 00:34:42,150
There is this one incredibly
dramatic thing that happened.
620
00:34:42,166 --> 00:34:44,349
When I was swimming for U of Chicago,
621
00:34:44,376 --> 00:34:46,021
we had this one guy on the team
622
00:34:46,043 --> 00:34:48,904
- that was probably the best swimmer...
- Tim, take me home.
623
00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:51,863
- Jen, I want you to meet...
- I want you to take me home now.
624
00:34:53,441 --> 00:34:55,555
- Excuse me.
- Yeah, sure.
625
00:34:56,437 --> 00:35:00,319
Um, look, obviously, I... I have to go.
626
00:35:00,378 --> 00:35:03,434
- It was good talking to you.
- Yeah, you too. Thank you.
627
00:35:06,763 --> 00:35:10,474
Okay. Is your sister, like, the
coolest person on earth or what?
628
00:35:17,290 --> 00:35:19,152
What's Kit doing here?
629
00:35:19,277 --> 00:35:21,895
Your guess is as good as mine.
630
00:35:28,655 --> 00:35:30,811
Jen, I was in the
middle of a conversation.
631
00:35:30,833 --> 00:35:32,724
Do you want to at least
tell me what's going on?
632
00:35:33,580 --> 00:35:36,178
- I felt weird.
- That's pretty vague, Jen,
633
00:35:36,199 --> 00:35:38,355
even for you. You felt weird.
634
00:35:50,342 --> 00:35:53,391
What are you... Jen, come on.
635
00:35:53,913 --> 00:35:55,720
We need to talk.
636
00:35:57,215 --> 00:35:59,088
Jen, what are you doing?
637
00:36:08,826 --> 00:36:10,424
Jen...
638
00:36:41,430 --> 00:36:44,732
Are you going to tell me why
you're not at your gig at the Roxy?
639
00:36:45,700 --> 00:36:47,878
Well, that was something I
came over here to tell you...
640
00:36:47,888 --> 00:36:50,415
Bette, you never told me that
Kit Porter was your sister.
641
00:36:51,443 --> 00:36:53,227
Wow.
642
00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:54,546
My half-sister.
643
00:36:54,563 --> 00:36:57,148
- Guess which half.
- That is extremely cool.
644
00:36:57,169 --> 00:36:59,762
Jeremy Block. I said hi earlier.
645
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,197
I saw you play a couple years
ago at the Hollywood Roosevelt.
646
00:37:02,221 --> 00:37:03,764
You... you're awesome.
647
00:37:03,813 --> 00:37:05,700
Oh, thank you. You're very kind.
648
00:37:05,764 --> 00:37:07,676
No, really. We're putting
together the soundtrack
649
00:37:07,693 --> 00:37:10,484
to a picture I'm producing. We're
working with a bunch of classic
650
00:37:10,523 --> 00:37:11,930
jazz and blues ladies,
651
00:37:11,955 --> 00:37:13,892
and I guarantee he
will completely dig you.
652
00:37:14,989 --> 00:37:18,075
Well, I was about to get into
something here with my baby sister...
653
00:37:18,085 --> 00:37:20,562
I'm sure it can wait. I've
got a house full of people.
654
00:37:21,289 --> 00:37:24,058
Well, come on. The party's
in the back room at Les Deux.
655
00:37:25,015 --> 00:37:26,434
Are you sure?
656
00:37:26,447 --> 00:37:29,110
It's a potential gig.
You should definitely go.
657
00:37:31,277 --> 00:37:32,842
Okay.
658
00:37:33,343 --> 00:37:36,349
Yeah, well, hey, why
don't I ride with you?
659
00:37:36,382 --> 00:37:37,828
Sure.
660
00:38:10,847 --> 00:38:12,658
What an ego bruiser.
661
00:38:14,417 --> 00:38:16,735
Three turn-downs in one night.
662
00:38:16,778 --> 00:38:18,639
Is there something wrong with our pitch?
663
00:38:18,666 --> 00:38:20,822
It has nothing to do with you guys.
664
00:38:21,387 --> 00:38:23,990
You know, it's... it's the new male.
665
00:38:24,044 --> 00:38:25,566
What?
666
00:38:25,647 --> 00:38:27,072
What do you know about men?
667
00:38:27,094 --> 00:38:28,465
I mean, you've never
even been with a man.
668
00:38:28,489 --> 00:38:31,167
Well, the new male is more
spiritual than the old male.
669
00:38:31,401 --> 00:38:34,140
You know, he sees his sperm as
an extension of his inner being.
670
00:38:34,173 --> 00:38:37,164
Whereas the old male
shot into any female
671
00:38:37,174 --> 00:38:38,748
without thinking about
what would happen,
672
00:38:38,772 --> 00:38:42,317
the new male totally cares
what becomes of his seed.
673
00:38:42,919 --> 00:38:44,468
Oh, my God, it's Yoda.
674
00:38:44,479 --> 00:38:46,985
Yeah, they teach that at
hairdresser school, by the way.
675
00:38:47,110 --> 00:38:50,877
Well, that's just great. Why did
they have to get all sensitive on us
676
00:38:50,888 --> 00:38:54,621
just when we needed them to keep
on being the same old assholes?
677
00:38:56,020 --> 00:38:57,493
I don't know.
678
00:38:57,618 --> 00:38:59,020
All right.
679
00:38:59,062 --> 00:39:01,903
- Yeah, we're going to go.
- Don't go.
680
00:39:02,726 --> 00:39:04,567
Good night, you guys.
681
00:39:06,039 --> 00:39:08,484
- Bye.
- Bye.
682
00:39:14,159 --> 00:39:16,769
- She's totally going home with that girl.
- I'm sorry.
683
00:39:16,788 --> 00:39:19,708
Oh, my God. Get off of me.
Harrison, the party's over.
684
00:39:19,734 --> 00:39:21,695
- We can go back to being gay.
- I got to go.
685
00:39:21,708 --> 00:39:23,562
You guys need help cleaning up?
686
00:39:24,712 --> 00:39:27,347
- We got it.
- Yeah, Sonia's coming in tomorrow.
687
00:39:27,472 --> 00:39:30,800
- Okay, good night, you guys.
- Good night.
688
00:39:31,109 --> 00:39:33,818
- Thank you so much.
- Bye-bye.
689
00:39:34,221 --> 00:39:36,290
- Have a good night.
- Good night.
690
00:39:53,981 --> 00:39:56,437
Oh, shit.
691
00:39:58,121 --> 00:39:59,630
How long have you been out here?
692
00:40:02,583 --> 00:40:04,772
I couldn't sleep last night.
693
00:40:04,955 --> 00:40:07,326
You were totally out.
694
00:40:07,666 --> 00:40:10,576
Yeah, well, somebody wore me out.
695
00:40:11,404 --> 00:40:16,276
I came out here around 3:00...
696
00:40:16,636 --> 00:40:18,142
In the morning,
697
00:40:18,631 --> 00:40:21,169
and then I started to write,
698
00:40:21,873 --> 00:40:24,154
and that was so scary.
699
00:40:25,815 --> 00:40:27,622
It's a whole new place, Jen.
700
00:40:28,776 --> 00:40:31,328
It's just going to take you
a while to find your groove.
701
00:40:31,979 --> 00:40:33,738
Yeah.
702
00:40:37,174 --> 00:40:38,734
You know,
703
00:40:39,175 --> 00:40:41,982
you never told me why you
were so upset last night.
704
00:40:42,014 --> 00:40:43,913
Um...
705
00:40:45,346 --> 00:40:47,782
because I was just a little drunk.
706
00:40:49,336 --> 00:40:51,466
I hope I didn't ruin your night.
707
00:40:52,740 --> 00:40:55,037
- No, I think it turned out pretty well.
- Okay.
708
00:40:55,064 --> 00:40:56,737
- What did you think?
- Yeah.
709
00:41:06,713 --> 00:41:10,274
Okay, everybody, let's get
those butts up out of the saddle
710
00:41:10,300 --> 00:41:11,989
and get on the road.
711
00:41:13,468 --> 00:41:15,953
That fucking party made me so depressed.
712
00:41:16,078 --> 00:41:19,115
We have to wait a whole month
before another insemination.
713
00:41:19,169 --> 00:41:21,605
At least you have somebody to wait with.
714
00:41:21,831 --> 00:41:23,649
At least there's somebody
in bed next to you
715
00:41:23,659 --> 00:41:25,299
when you wake up in
the morning, you know?
716
00:41:25,875 --> 00:41:28,973
Now, everyone, drop your heads,
717
00:41:29,011 --> 00:41:32,071
close your eyes and set your intentions.
718
00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:34,024
Why are you here?
719
00:41:34,244 --> 00:41:36,422
To gossip with your friends?
720
00:41:36,476 --> 00:41:38,482
To change your body?
721
00:41:38,810 --> 00:41:41,736
What do you want to get
out of the next 40 minutes?
722
00:41:41,951 --> 00:41:44,393
A good look at your
spectacular tits would be nice.
723
00:41:44,415 --> 00:41:46,263
- So go for it.
- No!
724
00:41:46,469 --> 00:41:47,939
Besides, she's straight.
725
00:41:47,980 --> 00:41:49,227
How do you know?
726
00:41:49,232 --> 00:41:51,154
Because I'm so attracted to her.
727
00:41:51,442 --> 00:41:52,823
Every time I'm attracted to somebody,
728
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:56,360
- she's either unavailable or straight.
- Dana!
729
00:41:57,155 --> 00:42:01,243
♪ I'm here to make your day ♪
730
00:42:01,495 --> 00:42:05,485
♪ I'm here to please you ♪
731
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:10,252
♪ you are here to make my day ♪
732
00:42:10,734 --> 00:42:15,757
♪ I'm here to help myself to you ♪
733
00:42:16,380 --> 00:42:18,122
- Jenny!
- Hey.
734
00:42:18,155 --> 00:42:21,904
- Hey, are you here by yourself?
- Yeah. I am by myself,
735
00:42:21,947 --> 00:42:24,314
- but I'm going to go home and make a sandwich.
- No, no,
736
00:42:24,330 --> 00:42:26,992
we've got a table. Come sit with us.
737
00:42:27,078 --> 00:42:29,156
Okay. Okay.
738
00:42:29,500 --> 00:42:31,487
This instructor
recommended this workshop
739
00:42:31,522 --> 00:42:34,705
called All Write, w-r-i-t-e...
740
00:42:34,830 --> 00:42:36,684
And this instructor meets with you
741
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:38,487
and does this thing called bodywork,
742
00:42:38,496 --> 00:42:41,159
you know, to help you get in
touch with your inner voice,
743
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:44,011
- which I thought was weird.
- Hey...
744
00:42:44,495 --> 00:42:46,267
You know, you should
check out my magazine,
745
00:42:46,289 --> 00:42:48,138
because we sometimes
do these resource lists
746
00:42:48,166 --> 00:42:50,645
- for the creative community.
- Oh, okay.
747
00:42:50,668 --> 00:42:53,704
Or, you know, UCLA
might be your best bet.
748
00:42:53,924 --> 00:42:55,631
No. I don't want to...
749
00:42:55,673 --> 00:42:57,591
I don't want to go back to school.
750
00:42:57,613 --> 00:43:01,233
Marina has a reading group.
You guys met the other night.
751
00:43:01,241 --> 00:43:03,431
- Hi, Jenny.
- Hey...
752
00:43:05,177 --> 00:43:06,506
So,
753
00:43:06,718 --> 00:43:08,335
how do you like The Planet?
754
00:43:09,020 --> 00:43:12,317
It's beautiful. It's nice.
755
00:43:12,586 --> 00:43:14,608
You want to come to my reading group?
756
00:43:14,796 --> 00:43:16,215
Yes.
757
00:43:16,264 --> 00:43:18,389
That means I can read
one of your stories.
758
00:43:18,405 --> 00:43:20,158
No, you can read anything you want.
759
00:43:20,196 --> 00:43:22,643
You know, anything.
760
00:43:22,681 --> 00:43:25,155
Oh, shit. Oh, God, it's late.
761
00:43:25,214 --> 00:43:27,570
You know, I, uh, I'm
starting a new tour,
762
00:43:27,581 --> 00:43:29,308
so I should go practice.
763
00:43:29,373 --> 00:43:31,153
I'm going to follow you guys out.
764
00:43:31,207 --> 00:43:33,557
- Jenny, good luck.
- Yes. Thank you.
765
00:43:33,573 --> 00:43:35,582
I think you might have found
what you were looking for.
766
00:43:35,606 --> 00:43:38,080
- Bye, Alice.
- It's good to see you.
767
00:43:38,140 --> 00:43:39,317
You'll be okay?
768
00:43:39,328 --> 00:43:41,312
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Of course she's okay.
769
00:43:43,076 --> 00:43:46,530
- You're okay, right?
- No, I'm good. I'm good. I, uh...
770
00:43:47,202 --> 00:43:49,735
- I hope I didn't upset you the other night...
- No...
771
00:43:50,095 --> 00:43:52,149
you didn't upset me.
772
00:43:52,397 --> 00:43:54,634
I just, uh... I came here
773
00:43:54,687 --> 00:43:57,177
to say that I'm not...
774
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,952
I'm not...
775
00:44:02,017 --> 00:44:04,136
A big coffee drinker?
776
00:44:08,732 --> 00:44:10,477
I have to go.
777
00:44:10,499 --> 00:44:11,865
I have to go.
778
00:44:11,870 --> 00:44:14,952
Tim is going to be home at 5:00.
779
00:44:15,033 --> 00:44:16,732
So...
780
00:44:16,775 --> 00:44:19,351
It... it's only 2:00.
781
00:44:21,249 --> 00:44:23,621
- So I need...
- Don't get so upset.
782
00:44:23,648 --> 00:44:26,382
- It's only 2:00.
- I know, but I need to be there...
783
00:44:26,559 --> 00:44:29,441
when he calls, okay?
784
00:44:29,755 --> 00:44:31,433
- Okay.
- Okay.
785
00:44:31,493 --> 00:44:33,412
I'll walk you to your car.
786
00:44:34,083 --> 00:44:35,301
Okay.
787
00:44:35,382 --> 00:44:36,996
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
788
00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:43,042
- Thank you.
- For what?
789
00:44:43,067 --> 00:44:45,266
Turning you into a speed freak?
790
00:44:47,989 --> 00:44:50,444
- Is this your car?
- Yes. I mean,
791
00:44:50,483 --> 00:44:53,194
this is Tim's car.
792
00:44:53,412 --> 00:44:55,043
It's embarrassing.
793
00:44:55,125 --> 00:44:56,872
A muscle car.
794
00:44:57,405 --> 00:44:58,714
It's sexy.
795
00:44:59,066 --> 00:45:00,784
Are you busy tomorrow night?
796
00:45:00,826 --> 00:45:02,895
Do you want to come to Radar?
797
00:45:04,590 --> 00:45:05,963
What's Radar?
798
00:45:06,002 --> 00:45:09,009
It's a special night
we do here on Tuesdays.
799
00:45:09,031 --> 00:45:10,240
Right.
800
00:45:10,686 --> 00:45:11,878
Um...
801
00:45:14,756 --> 00:45:16,422
No, thank you.
802
00:45:19,011 --> 00:45:20,260
Okay.
803
00:45:24,413 --> 00:45:27,188
- Call me if you change your mind.
- Okay.
804
00:45:35,903 --> 00:45:37,849
I could do this. Yes.
805
00:45:38,332 --> 00:45:41,095
And you have no problem with the concept
806
00:45:41,116 --> 00:45:44,120
of bringing a child into the
world and having absolutely no say
807
00:45:44,142 --> 00:45:46,567
as to how he or she is raised?
808
00:45:46,692 --> 00:45:48,873
I must have children all over the world.
809
00:45:48,874 --> 00:45:51,100
Now, why would I have
a problem with this one?
810
00:45:51,546 --> 00:45:53,708
I will sign the donor's contract now.
811
00:45:53,913 --> 00:45:56,046
Jean-Paul, I don't mean
to be rude or anything,
812
00:45:56,052 --> 00:45:58,284
but do you have any, uh,
813
00:45:58,332 --> 00:46:00,859
medical problems,
814
00:46:00,881 --> 00:46:03,409
any history of family illnesses, or...
815
00:46:04,097 --> 00:46:06,415
Health is excellent
with the Chamois family.
816
00:46:06,488 --> 00:46:08,269
Jean-Paul, I know you say
817
00:46:08,295 --> 00:46:09,476
that you're comfortable
with all of this,
818
00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:12,140
- but I just think about it for a minute.
- Where is this contract?
819
00:46:20,266 --> 00:46:25,452
- Mm-hmm, and when we do this?
- When Tina's next ovulating.
820
00:46:25,902 --> 00:46:28,651
You want to do this here in my bed?
821
00:46:28,839 --> 00:46:32,364
Bon. Bon. Or you want me to come to you?
822
00:46:33,311 --> 00:46:34,971
- Uh...
- Um...
823
00:46:34,992 --> 00:46:36,756
Wherever you want.
824
00:46:37,057 --> 00:46:39,553
We'll give you a sterile cup.
825
00:46:40,016 --> 00:46:42,695
I mean, or if you prefer,
if you need your privacy,
826
00:46:42,704 --> 00:46:44,860
I can come back later after
you finish and pick it up.
827
00:46:44,869 --> 00:46:46,176
Cup?
828
00:46:46,891 --> 00:46:50,185
- What is this cup?
- Oh, it's a specimen cup.
829
00:46:50,217 --> 00:46:52,187
You ejaculate into it.
830
00:46:52,229 --> 00:46:54,246
Oh, no, no, no, we don't do that way.
831
00:46:54,267 --> 00:46:56,714
We do as a man and a woman.
832
00:46:56,839 --> 00:46:58,850
Oh, Jean-Paul, I'm sorry,
833
00:46:58,872 --> 00:47:02,678
- I just thought you understood that...
- Do you want it to be all three?
834
00:47:02,700 --> 00:47:05,365
Because that would be fine. It
is going to be your baby, too.
835
00:47:05,391 --> 00:47:06,596
No.
836
00:47:06,639 --> 00:47:08,115
No? Just me and her then.
837
00:47:08,128 --> 00:47:09,690
- Bon.
- Jean-Paul,
838
00:47:09,892 --> 00:47:13,084
not only are we monogamous,
we don't sleep with men.
839
00:47:13,601 --> 00:47:15,933
But to have a baby,
there is no other way.
840
00:47:15,941 --> 00:47:18,983
It's just not an option for us, okay?
841
00:47:19,031 --> 00:47:21,436
But for me, it is the only option.
842
00:47:22,180 --> 00:47:23,553
An obligation.
843
00:47:23,776 --> 00:47:26,026
I could not bring a baby into this world
844
00:47:26,054 --> 00:47:28,053
who was not conceived
through the passionate...
845
00:47:29,111 --> 00:47:30,919
Mm, mm...
846
00:47:31,005 --> 00:47:33,027
Between a man and a woman.
847
00:47:38,822 --> 00:47:42,625
Hey! The penis. The pussy. The baby.
848
00:47:44,552 --> 00:47:46,332
You can't be serious.
849
00:47:46,978 --> 00:47:49,533
"Ze penis, ze pussy, ze baby"?
850
00:47:50,974 --> 00:47:53,582
Oh, God, I swear...
851
00:47:54,981 --> 00:47:57,148
Come on, Tee, it's funny.
852
00:47:57,273 --> 00:47:59,681
I'm sorry, I don't find it funny.
853
00:48:01,955 --> 00:48:05,183
Well, try. It's important to have
a sense of humor about these things.
854
00:48:05,219 --> 00:48:08,302
Oh, well, I guess you'll just take
care of that for the both of us.
855
00:48:13,815 --> 00:48:15,638
Why are you doing this?
856
00:48:16,429 --> 00:48:18,300
What? What am I doing?
857
00:48:34,683 --> 00:48:37,930
We got Mary, and we got
Trish, and I think we...
858
00:48:37,943 --> 00:48:39,848
- Hey, Randy. Hey.
- Hey.
859
00:48:40,421 --> 00:48:41,647
Wow.
860
00:48:41,815 --> 00:48:43,196
You look amazing.
861
00:48:43,230 --> 00:48:45,034
- Thanks.
- Damn.
862
00:48:45,159 --> 00:48:47,374
I think I'm going to ditch
Randy and take you out myself.
863
00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:48,661
Do you want to come?
864
00:48:49,014 --> 00:48:51,570
'Cause we got a shitload of work to do,
865
00:48:51,660 --> 00:48:54,186
- but you do look great.
- Thank you.
866
00:48:54,504 --> 00:48:56,010
I'm not going to be late.
867
00:48:56,135 --> 00:48:58,011
- Okay.
- Okay.
868
00:48:59,667 --> 00:49:01,048
Good-bye.
869
00:49:03,816 --> 00:49:06,875
- Bye, Randy.
- Good night.
870
00:49:11,648 --> 00:49:14,413
Where's she off to all
dolled up like that?
871
00:49:14,414 --> 00:49:15,981
Uh, The Planet.
872
00:49:15,997 --> 00:49:18,959
They're having some kind of
special party or something.
873
00:49:18,978 --> 00:49:20,353
And you're letting her go alone?
874
00:49:20,377 --> 00:49:21,796
I'm making her go.
875
00:49:22,028 --> 00:49:23,955
She doesn't know that many people.
876
00:49:24,256 --> 00:49:26,774
I don't know if you know it,
but she's kind of a recluse.
877
00:49:30,410 --> 00:49:33,772
Uh... hi.
878
00:49:35,536 --> 00:49:37,795
- Hello, Jenny.
- Uh...
879
00:49:37,843 --> 00:49:41,733
- it's all women.
- Oh, yeah, Radar is a women's party.
880
00:49:41,744 --> 00:49:43,583
Sorry. Sorry.
881
00:49:45,461 --> 00:49:47,780
That's the one I'm talking
about. What do you think?
882
00:49:47,790 --> 00:49:49,958
Hot. So hot.
883
00:49:51,798 --> 00:49:53,836
- Hi.
- Hi, Jenny.
884
00:49:53,847 --> 00:49:55,266
I didn't know you were
coming out tonight.
885
00:49:55,288 --> 00:49:57,960
- Yeah, Marina invited me.
- Hey, hey.
886
00:49:57,997 --> 00:50:00,376
- Hello.
- I thought she'd like Radar.
887
00:50:01,775 --> 00:50:04,626
Bette's sister Kit does a poetry night.
888
00:50:04,637 --> 00:50:06,342
I think you'd enjoy it.
889
00:50:06,374 --> 00:50:08,498
Um... Where is Bette?
890
00:50:08,541 --> 00:50:10,521
- She's at work.
- They're still fighting.
891
00:50:10,646 --> 00:50:13,476
Oh, my God, there are
so many hot girls here.
892
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,515
- Hi.
- Hi.
893
00:50:16,558 --> 00:50:19,459
- How are you?
- Good.
894
00:50:25,811 --> 00:50:28,745
I'm going to go play
pool, so see you all later.
895
00:50:30,062 --> 00:50:32,222
You should have hit on
her when we first came in.
896
00:50:32,240 --> 00:50:33,750
I don't get it.
897
00:50:34,073 --> 00:50:36,332
I mean, what does Shane
have that I don't have?
898
00:50:36,348 --> 00:50:39,257
- It has to do with her attitude.
- I've got attitude.
899
00:50:39,289 --> 00:50:42,766
- It's because she's so withholding.
- No. It's because she's so confident.
900
00:50:42,782 --> 00:50:44,341
No, it's because she's stupid,
901
00:50:44,358 --> 00:50:48,188
- and stupid people are too dumb to be insecure.
- Dana, she's your friend.
902
00:50:48,215 --> 00:50:50,134
It's confidence, okay? I'm telling you.
903
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:51,759
And it's because of her nipples.
904
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,305
What do you mean it's
because of her nipples?
905
00:50:53,323 --> 00:50:55,209
She has the best nipples
in town, and she knows it.
906
00:50:55,233 --> 00:50:57,774
Oh, my God, you're so right.
She has nipple confidence.
907
00:50:57,801 --> 00:51:01,325
- They are nice.
- Yeah, they're small and they're perfectly formed.
908
00:51:01,353 --> 00:51:04,294
I wonder if I could sell a
story on L.A.'s best nipples.
909
00:51:04,314 --> 00:51:05,968
That's a good one, right?
910
00:51:06,019 --> 00:51:08,760
I think I'm just gonna
wander around for a bit.
911
00:51:08,777 --> 00:51:11,158
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm good.
912
00:51:25,295 --> 00:51:27,092
Hi, there.
913
00:51:28,070 --> 00:51:30,189
No, thank you.
914
00:51:43,006 --> 00:51:48,006
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