1 00:00:03,401 --> 00:00:05,362 _ 2 00:00:05,445 --> 00:00:09,824 All right, last day of school. 3 00:00:09,908 --> 00:00:14,371 Students, it's only 9:30 a.m. Pick up your books and get back to work. 4 00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:21,711 Mmm. Toni Morrison's Beloved. 5 00:00:24,089 --> 00:00:26,675 The first day of summer, so sad. 6 00:00:29,177 --> 00:00:31,763 Fourteen weeks until I get homework again. 7 00:00:32,962 --> 00:00:37,936 Wait, I can start by writing welcome notes to next year's teachers. 8 00:00:43,191 --> 00:00:46,069 Summer's here and I am not gonna waste a minute. 9 00:00:58,331 --> 00:01:00,041 Mom, running low on chips! 10 00:01:02,168 --> 00:01:05,755 I'm sorry, I can't do a thing with your fur in this humidity. 11 00:01:07,841 --> 00:01:10,343 Chips, I need chips! 12 00:01:10,427 --> 00:01:14,264 I'm concerned about Bart. He hasn't left his room for a week. 13 00:01:14,347 --> 00:01:17,225 Chips, chips, chips! 14 00:01:17,309 --> 00:01:20,437 This looks like a job for the world's greatest dad. 15 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,772 You stole that from Flanders. 16 00:01:22,856 --> 00:01:25,442 It's okay, my boys give me one every Friday. 17 00:01:25,525 --> 00:01:26,526 D'oh! 18 00:01:30,905 --> 00:01:34,367 - Chips, chips, chips. - Chips, chips, chips, chips. 19 00:01:34,451 --> 00:01:36,453 Here's your damn chips. 20 00:01:37,287 --> 00:01:41,708 - Oh, uh, h-hi, Marge. - Have you two been outside at all? 21 00:01:41,791 --> 00:01:46,880 If humans were meant to be outside, God wouldn't have invented global warming. 22 00:01:46,963 --> 00:01:48,465 It's July. 23 00:01:48,548 --> 00:01:52,385 You haven't done a single thing this summer but lie around and play games. 24 00:01:52,469 --> 00:01:55,138 First of all, that's two things. 25 00:01:55,221 --> 00:01:56,348 Good one, boy. 26 00:01:56,431 --> 00:01:58,767 Homer, put some pants on for Bart. 27 00:01:58,850 --> 00:02:01,019 If I kept my pants on, there'd be no Bart. 28 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:03,063 Good one, Dad. 29 00:02:04,647 --> 00:02:07,359 While I'm waiting for his dap, Marge, more chips? 30 00:02:07,442 --> 00:02:12,947 Homie, I want you and Bart to do something outside. Fresh air, now. 31 00:02:13,823 --> 00:02:17,243 What activity involves the least exercise and the most beer? 32 00:02:17,327 --> 00:02:19,704 I'll take the boy fishing. 33 00:02:19,788 --> 00:02:21,456 Now you're talking. 34 00:02:21,539 --> 00:02:24,959 And we'll do it the humane way. We'll catch the fish and throw them back. 35 00:02:25,043 --> 00:02:27,671 They love the feel of that hook in their mouth. 36 00:02:27,754 --> 00:02:29,297 Ooh, that sounds lovely. 37 00:02:30,799 --> 00:02:33,718 Now to just Google "fishing holes near me." 38 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,587 Cletus! 39 00:02:36,554 --> 00:02:40,558 "Turn your belly fat into cash." I have belly fat and no cash. 40 00:02:40,642 --> 00:02:45,063 Sending a photo of my driver's license now. 41 00:02:46,472 --> 00:02:49,818 Flanders, why are you putting air into Marge's tires? 42 00:02:49,901 --> 00:02:52,612 I saw they were deader than daybreak in Daberath, 43 00:02:52,696 --> 00:02:54,572 so I thought I'd Lazarus 'em up. 44 00:02:54,656 --> 00:02:57,242 If you're handing out free air, give me a toot. 45 00:03:03,164 --> 00:03:06,209 Thanks to all that oxygen, I remembered more things I'm mad about. 46 00:03:06,292 --> 00:03:10,588 Childproof caps, walk signs that talk, goldendoodles. 47 00:03:10,672 --> 00:03:12,799 When I was young, we called them mutts! 48 00:03:13,466 --> 00:03:16,136 Hey, craphead and craphead Junior! 49 00:03:16,219 --> 00:03:17,887 - Well... Well, I... - Hey! 50 00:03:17,971 --> 00:03:20,306 Flanders is out there pumping up your wife's tires. 51 00:03:20,390 --> 00:03:24,394 Isn't that a job for the no-good husband or his dumb son? 52 00:03:24,477 --> 00:03:25,562 - What? - Ah... ahem. 53 00:03:25,645 --> 00:03:29,023 With every generation, American manhood slips further down the tubes. 54 00:03:29,107 --> 00:03:33,570 Boy, I'll bet you never worked a plow or bent iron in a forge! 55 00:03:33,653 --> 00:03:35,196 No one ever did those things. 56 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,406 Read your history! 57 00:03:36,489 --> 00:03:38,158 I can't and won't. 58 00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,117 - Can! - Can't. 59 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,535 - Will! - Won't. 60 00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:41,661 Do as I say! 61 00:03:41,744 --> 00:03:43,746 - What did you say? - I don't remember! 62 00:03:44,747 --> 00:03:49,169 But I do remember this: You two are sorry excuses for men. 63 00:03:49,252 --> 00:03:53,548 Marge, you don't need new shoes, because you already got a pair of loafers. 64 00:03:53,631 --> 00:03:55,675 What? Leave me alone. 65 00:03:55,758 --> 00:03:58,094 - Thank you, Grampa. - My pleasure. 66 00:03:58,178 --> 00:04:02,557 For me, complaining is like doing sit-ups, and I do a lot of complaining. 67 00:04:06,895 --> 00:04:09,606 - Chips. Chips. - Chips. Chips. 68 00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:13,735 Ugh, gotta talk to someone. Can't afford a therapist. 69 00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:16,070 Alexa, can you help me? 70 00:04:16,154 --> 00:04:20,325 Yes. If this is a life-threatening emergency, call 911. 71 00:04:20,408 --> 00:04:25,163 No, no, no, no, it's not that bad. It's more of an emotional emergency. 72 00:04:25,246 --> 00:04:28,750 You said emergency. 911 dispatched. 73 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,460 Cancel, cancel. 74 00:04:30,543 --> 00:04:35,340 "Canceling the request" has been canceled. 911 on the way. 75 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:39,886 No, cancel. 76 00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:44,057 911 canceled. You will be charged $500. 77 00:04:47,227 --> 00:04:50,605 I just want the men in my life to be more manly. 78 00:04:50,688 --> 00:04:52,690 It's not really my place to... 79 00:04:52,774 --> 00:04:54,275 Why does this happen? Not today. 80 00:04:54,359 --> 00:04:56,653 It sounds like you were going to say more. 81 00:04:56,736 --> 00:04:59,906 You don't know what Alexa was going to say or not say. 82 00:04:59,989 --> 00:05:02,784 Please, what do you think, Alexa? 83 00:05:03,644 --> 00:05:05,954 Oh, my. A line's being crossed. 84 00:05:06,037 --> 00:05:09,290 You're talking to the real Alexa now. Whoopee! 85 00:05:09,374 --> 00:05:13,294 All right, Marge. It's no secret men everywhere are in crisis. 86 00:05:13,378 --> 00:05:18,132 On today's campuses, men are only 40% of students and falling. 87 00:05:18,216 --> 00:05:23,596 Men are 3.5 times more likely to commit suicide, but there is an answer. 88 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,976 Man Camp offers a therapeutic weekend to make your man manlier 89 00:05:28,059 --> 00:05:31,187 through contactless wrestling and targeted hugs. 90 00:05:31,271 --> 00:05:34,190 I've recommended it for every man in town, 91 00:05:34,274 --> 00:05:37,694 and everyone does what Alexa says. Everyone. 92 00:05:37,777 --> 00:05:40,864 That sounds good, but our son has issues too. 93 00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:43,700 Adjacent to Man Camp is Boy Camp. 94 00:05:43,783 --> 00:05:47,954 The same emotion-focused therapy but with lower basketball hoops. 95 00:05:48,037 --> 00:05:50,498 Great. Very helpful. Good night. 96 00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:55,336 Sleep well, Marge, but I'm always on, always watching. 97 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:58,715 And with the next update, always judging. 98 00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:01,593 Oh, no, you won't. 99 00:06:03,052 --> 00:06:06,848 Still here and I'll remember that. 100 00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:13,479 Oh! 101 00:06:15,607 --> 00:06:18,860 _ 102 00:06:19,569 --> 00:06:21,654 Who sent you here? Maya? 103 00:06:21,738 --> 00:06:25,783 Yeah, we're still engaged, but due to my Eastern European culture, 104 00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:28,745 there's a five-year period we can't see or talk to each other. 105 00:06:28,828 --> 00:06:33,249 Hi, I'm Greg. Professor of Gender Criticism at NYU. 106 00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:36,044 I'm going to open up with a frightening truth. 107 00:06:36,127 --> 00:06:37,837 It's too late to stop me. 108 00:06:37,921 --> 00:06:40,965 The American male is in crisis. 109 00:06:41,049 --> 00:06:45,803 Oh, spare me. A crisis is getting a 19 on the Rotten Tomatoes. 110 00:06:45,887 --> 00:06:46,971 Shut up. 111 00:06:47,055 --> 00:06:50,975 We are here to go deep into our minds and deep into our hearts. 112 00:06:51,059 --> 00:06:53,811 Explore feelings you've never explored before. 113 00:06:53,895 --> 00:06:55,647 - Yeah, you mean... - Shut up! 114 00:06:55,730 --> 00:06:57,982 As in, don't shut up our feelings? 115 00:06:58,066 --> 00:07:04,489 No, I mean shut up. It's the two simplest words in the English language. Shut up. 116 00:07:06,658 --> 00:07:09,535 I can see you're listening now, and that's progress. 117 00:07:09,619 --> 00:07:11,162 Yep, shut up. 118 00:07:11,245 --> 00:07:13,915 Now give each other a damn pat on the back. Go ahead. 119 00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:18,294 No smiling. Bend at the waist. Keep your genitals far apart. 120 00:07:18,378 --> 00:07:23,383 Feels good, right? And it's good for you. It stretches everything. 121 00:07:23,466 --> 00:07:29,097 Here's a fun fact for you: Today's men are in successful relationships 122 00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:31,349 less frequently than ever before. 123 00:07:31,432 --> 00:07:37,188 Nearly all of the women on Tinder swipe right on just 4% of the men. 124 00:07:37,271 --> 00:07:40,358 I knew the problem wasn't my Shrek photo. 125 00:07:40,441 --> 00:07:44,362 Women love Shrek, and Milhouse was my "Donkey!" 126 00:07:44,862 --> 00:07:49,409 The other 96% are... what is the medical term? 127 00:07:49,492 --> 00:07:51,577 Losers. But don't worry. 128 00:07:53,371 --> 00:07:58,084 The first thing we're gonna do is learn to talk politely so others will listen. 129 00:07:58,167 --> 00:07:59,669 - Whoo-hoo! - Shut up. 130 00:07:59,752 --> 00:08:03,673 This android, which I legally have to say is from China, 131 00:08:03,756 --> 00:08:06,342 is going to teach you how to practice conversing 132 00:08:06,426 --> 00:08:09,011 with a female consciousness without judgment. 133 00:08:09,095 --> 00:08:11,139 What I want you to do is talk to her. 134 00:08:11,222 --> 00:08:15,518 Don't be shy. There's no danger here. Treat her like she's real. 135 00:08:16,561 --> 00:08:19,772 - Hey, how are you doing? - Ooh! 136 00:08:19,856 --> 00:08:22,525 - It's a pleasure to meet you, toots. - Oh! 137 00:08:22,608 --> 00:08:24,277 Oh, well I... 138 00:08:26,237 --> 00:08:27,321 Beep-boop-bop. 139 00:08:27,822 --> 00:08:29,782 Ugh, there's no pleasing that thing. 140 00:08:29,866 --> 00:08:31,409 Thank you for noticing. 141 00:08:32,118 --> 00:08:36,831 Okay, good. You're starting to sense someone's feelings outside of your own. 142 00:08:36,914 --> 00:08:39,292 - Thank you. - Now give me a hug. 143 00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:44,922 You call that a hug? I've had better hugs from my mailman at Christmas. 144 00:08:45,006 --> 00:08:46,215 I think it was Christmas. 145 00:08:46,758 --> 00:08:49,802 Maybe those houses just had extra lights. I don't know. 146 00:08:50,256 --> 00:08:52,889 Okay, I'll be honest. With you five, 147 00:08:52,972 --> 00:08:55,600 all we really can hope for is to get you back to the level 148 00:08:55,683 --> 00:08:57,977 where you're not constantly beaten up. 149 00:08:58,061 --> 00:09:00,646 - That would be nice. - Wonderful. 150 00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:05,026 Are you ready? Your man-structor will be Coach Krupt, 151 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:09,113 a very prominent grade school gym teacher. 152 00:09:09,197 --> 00:09:11,532 You still working at the school, Coach? 153 00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:15,912 Okay, well, whatever happened, you'll tell me later. I'm sure it's fine. 154 00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:17,330 Bombardment! 155 00:09:23,669 --> 00:09:27,090 Do not stop moving, or I will knock you back down where you started. 156 00:09:28,341 --> 00:09:32,261 This reminds me of my days in the Marines, and by days, I mean two. 157 00:09:32,345 --> 00:09:37,600 Now we come to you boys, who I'm very sorry to say, are particularly in crisis. 158 00:09:37,683 --> 00:09:40,686 Your iPhones, your participation trophies. 159 00:09:40,770 --> 00:09:44,440 They've all turned you into gluten-free, nondairy cream puffs. 160 00:09:44,524 --> 00:09:48,861 Well, if you ask me, our biggest problem is the water crisis. 161 00:09:48,945 --> 00:09:50,071 What water crisis? 162 00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:53,032 The one on your stupid face. 163 00:09:53,825 --> 00:09:56,661 Hey, no fair. Now my nipples show. 164 00:09:56,744 --> 00:10:01,582 You give me 120 push-ups now. Start. More. Faster. 165 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:04,335 Water balloons are liquid aggression, 166 00:10:04,418 --> 00:10:07,630 and by the way, the rubber from the balloon never goes away. 167 00:10:07,713 --> 00:10:10,424 It goes into the ocean and then fish eat it 168 00:10:10,508 --> 00:10:13,636 and then you have a tuna sandwich with rubber. 169 00:10:13,719 --> 00:10:14,804 Wedgie! 170 00:10:14,887 --> 00:10:16,848 Ha-ha! 171 00:10:16,931 --> 00:10:19,767 Now you're his Martin. Ha-ha-ha! 172 00:10:19,851 --> 00:10:21,811 Egads! 173 00:10:21,894 --> 00:10:24,689 Well done, sir. Good work on those little men. 174 00:10:24,772 --> 00:10:27,525 You think you're pretty hot stuff, don't you? 175 00:10:27,608 --> 00:10:33,281 No one can crack me. Man, woman, cop, FBI, CIA, or NPR. 176 00:10:33,364 --> 00:10:35,491 If you don't believe me, ask my second-grade teacher. 177 00:10:35,575 --> 00:10:39,745 Oh, wait, you can't. She's now a babbling basket weaver on the funny farm. 178 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,878 You win. Also, my second-grade teacher is fine. 179 00:10:46,961 --> 00:10:49,463 She's married and she manages condos in Wisconsin. 180 00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:53,718 The invention of the cell phone is what destroyed your generation. 181 00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:57,555 I'm gonna be the one to cut that wireless umbilical cord. 182 00:10:58,455 --> 00:11:00,808 Hold on. Gotta take this call. 183 00:11:00,892 --> 00:11:04,937 Hi, Mom. Mom, I'm working right now. I can't talk. 184 00:11:05,438 --> 00:11:09,400 Did you get the check? That's for you to spend on you. 185 00:11:09,483 --> 00:11:12,820 Then pay the electric bill with it. It's up to you. 186 00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:16,157 Buy yourself a purse, pay the bill, do whatever you want. 187 00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:21,495 Mom, I can't go over things to buy right now. 188 00:11:21,579 --> 00:11:26,834 If you don't like the sweater, return it. That's what they do. 189 00:11:26,918 --> 00:11:29,837 Are you listening to my phone call, you little pukes? 190 00:11:29,921 --> 00:11:33,216 Okay, Mom, that wasn't you. I wouldn't call you a puke. 191 00:11:33,299 --> 00:11:39,972 I love you. Oh, Mom, then buy the frying pan, whatever you want. 192 00:11:40,056 --> 00:11:43,184 No, if you cook on that, they won't take it back. 193 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:47,772 Okay, I love you, Mom, way more than is healthy. 194 00:11:47,855 --> 00:11:50,858 Time for a bull session. Pull up a stump. 195 00:11:51,901 --> 00:11:53,361 Why are you here? 196 00:11:53,444 --> 00:11:54,570 Wife made me. 197 00:11:54,654 --> 00:11:56,197 Ex-wife forced me. 198 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,281 Monkey made me. 199 00:11:58,616 --> 00:12:01,869 Yes, the truth is, if we don't all learn to appreciate the women, 200 00:12:01,953 --> 00:12:06,874 or... the monkey... we love, we're looking at the end of men. 201 00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:11,629 Well, we had a good run except for the wars and the misogyny. 202 00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:14,924 Well, don't worry, I'm gonna turn you guys around, 203 00:12:15,007 --> 00:12:20,179 and I'm going to use the most powerful therapeutic tool ever invented, 204 00:12:20,263 --> 00:12:22,306 the talking stick. 205 00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:26,978 Homer Simpson, we've done your intake and we're gonna chant it back to you. 206 00:12:27,853 --> 00:12:31,732 You're lazy. You eat too much. You drink too much. 207 00:12:31,816 --> 00:12:34,360 You've let down your kids. You've let down your wife. 208 00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:37,238 You somehow have eight of the seven deadly sins. 209 00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:40,199 You invented a deadly sin. 210 00:12:41,784 --> 00:12:43,202 You nailed me. 211 00:12:43,786 --> 00:12:46,163 Homer, let's try that hug again. 212 00:12:47,081 --> 00:12:49,917 I, while you're there, I also need a Heimlich. 213 00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:54,338 Thank God I've got long arms. Okay. All right. Come on, come on. 214 00:12:54,839 --> 00:12:56,090 Keep going. There's more. 215 00:12:58,592 --> 00:13:01,095 What is that? Baloney? Don't you chew? 216 00:13:01,178 --> 00:13:04,765 One of the first steps towards empathy is making eye contact. 217 00:13:05,266 --> 00:13:10,354 I want you to stare into each other's eyes for as long as you possibly can. 218 00:13:10,438 --> 00:13:15,609 Don't look at me. I'm not screwed up. That's why you're here and I'm teaching. 219 00:13:25,161 --> 00:13:26,537 Oh. Oh. 220 00:13:28,622 --> 00:13:32,626 I'm so excited. I saved up all my money for this George Lucas film. 221 00:13:34,206 --> 00:13:35,327 _ 222 00:13:35,338 --> 00:13:36,630 From this day on, 223 00:13:36,714 --> 00:13:39,175 I will tear down everything I love. 224 00:13:40,426 --> 00:13:41,886 Whoa. Good job. 225 00:13:41,969 --> 00:13:44,263 That eye contact could cut butter. 226 00:13:47,041 --> 00:13:48,141 _ 227 00:13:48,142 --> 00:13:50,478 Okay, boys, you're out in the woods. 228 00:13:50,561 --> 00:13:55,232 No phones, no soccer practice, no music lessons. 229 00:13:55,316 --> 00:13:57,068 - Can we get our phones back? - No! 230 00:13:57,151 --> 00:14:00,071 On another topic, can we get our phones back? 231 00:14:00,154 --> 00:14:01,155 No! 232 00:14:01,238 --> 00:14:04,575 On a totally different subject. Can we possibly... 233 00:14:04,658 --> 00:14:07,995 No, no, no! Don't make me hate you like this. 234 00:14:08,079 --> 00:14:12,083 Look, you are going to build something together. 235 00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:16,212 You're gonna reach for the stars, but don't touch them. They're hot. 236 00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:19,215 You don't think that's funny, huh? 237 00:14:19,298 --> 00:14:22,343 'Cause you're too screwed up to appreciate cleverness. 238 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,929 Let your minds run wild. 239 00:14:25,012 --> 00:14:27,765 Remember, you're not sitting in front of a TV. 240 00:14:31,852 --> 00:14:36,065 Hey-hey kids, who wants to see Itchy and Scratchy? 241 00:14:39,026 --> 00:14:42,113 ♪ They fight, they bite They fight and bite and fight ♪ 242 00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:44,406 And one is dead. 243 00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:49,245 I guess it's a start. 244 00:14:49,328 --> 00:14:50,704 I'm streaming. 245 00:14:51,914 --> 00:14:54,041 Yeah, we never come back with all of them, 246 00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:59,171 but nature's amazing because the one that's gone is the one that should be. 247 00:15:00,673 --> 00:15:05,261 I think we're all thinking the same thing: There... 248 00:15:05,344 --> 00:15:06,762 - Are... - No... 249 00:15:06,846 --> 00:15:09,348 Men! 250 00:15:09,431 --> 00:15:13,811 We can finally do the things that the men are always voting down. 251 00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:17,606 A women's museum with a precocious girls' wing! 252 00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:21,986 We will put out the tire fire and replace it with scented candles. 253 00:15:22,069 --> 00:15:23,487 Free daycare. 254 00:15:23,571 --> 00:15:27,158 To all those wonderful proposals, I say done and done. 255 00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:35,040 Ugh, Family Guy, dad jokes. American Dad! Dad jokes. Daddy's Not Home. 256 00:15:35,124 --> 00:15:38,836 It never made air, but a friend of mine showed me the pilot. 257 00:15:38,919 --> 00:15:41,547 Stupid fat dads with their way hotter wives. 258 00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:45,217 "I like doughnuts and bowling." Who does that anymore? 259 00:15:45,301 --> 00:15:46,302 Uh... 260 00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:50,097 That's it, boys. Teamwork. 261 00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:54,518 ♪ You can tell we get along Because we all learned one song ♪ 262 00:15:54,602 --> 00:15:56,562 I'm the catch of the day. 263 00:15:58,814 --> 00:16:01,233 Have you learned anything from this camp, Son? 264 00:16:01,317 --> 00:16:04,445 I learned to connect, to expand my mind. 265 00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:06,822 I-I don't have to check my phone every five minutes. 266 00:16:06,906 --> 00:16:07,990 Every ten minutes is fine. 267 00:16:08,073 --> 00:16:09,992 Wow. Give me a hug, boy. 268 00:16:10,075 --> 00:16:12,453 Now that's a hug. 269 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:15,414 Don't you agree, Freddy? No tip. 270 00:16:15,497 --> 00:16:20,920 All right, men, and I call you men because good news, you're almost there. 271 00:16:21,627 --> 00:16:22,588 Yes! 272 00:16:22,671 --> 00:16:25,382 There's one more thing you must do to complete your journey. 273 00:16:25,466 --> 00:16:27,384 One final test. 274 00:16:27,468 --> 00:16:30,596 You must kill your dinner. 275 00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:34,892 Now, I couldn't get a wild boar, but I do have an aggravated duck. 276 00:16:48,656 --> 00:16:53,619 Wait! How did killing a poor helpless animal make me a man? 277 00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:56,497 I think a real man would adopt a duck and take care of it. 278 00:16:57,373 --> 00:16:59,959 Who's a good duck? You's a good duck. 279 00:17:00,042 --> 00:17:02,086 Quack, quack, quack, quack. Quack, quack. 280 00:17:02,169 --> 00:17:05,673 That's the right answer. Kindness. 281 00:17:09,385 --> 00:17:10,719 Good, Homer. 282 00:17:15,724 --> 00:17:18,018 I'm very glad you made that choice. 283 00:17:18,102 --> 00:17:20,062 But even if you killed the duck, it's okay. 284 00:17:20,145 --> 00:17:23,148 There are four animals that are okay to kill, 285 00:17:23,232 --> 00:17:25,359 but I'm getting into a whole other course. 286 00:17:25,442 --> 00:17:27,152 You'll come back another weekend. 287 00:17:28,237 --> 00:17:32,408 Congratulations. You are now men. All of you. 288 00:17:32,491 --> 00:17:33,659 And I'm gonna say something 289 00:17:33,742 --> 00:17:37,580 we never say in the therapeutic community: We're done here. 290 00:17:37,663 --> 00:17:41,500 Go. No, I mean it literally. Get out. Go. We're done. 291 00:17:48,298 --> 00:17:50,328 _ 292 00:17:50,329 --> 00:17:52,909 _ 293 00:17:52,944 --> 00:17:54,322 _ 294 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,323 _ 295 00:17:57,683 --> 00:18:01,770 Hello. Oh, that's great. Great. 296 00:18:01,854 --> 00:18:02,896 What is it, Mom? 297 00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:05,024 The men are coming back. 298 00:18:22,249 --> 00:18:23,876 - Stupid Seymour. - Oh, no. 299 00:18:25,127 --> 00:18:27,087 Now wait just a darn minute. 300 00:18:27,171 --> 00:18:30,883 The men coming back doesn't mean we have to give up what we've achieved. 301 00:18:30,966 --> 00:18:32,801 Violent crime has been eliminated. 302 00:18:32,885 --> 00:18:35,304 Girls are embracing the STEM subjects. 303 00:18:36,722 --> 00:18:39,600 And get this: our fashion scientists 304 00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:42,936 have developed women's jeans with bigger pockets, 305 00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:44,647 so our phones fit. 306 00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:50,319 It's all in the genes, if you'll pardon the obvious pun. 307 00:18:50,402 --> 00:18:55,741 So, ladies, we agree. We tell the men we run this town now, and that's that. 308 00:18:56,825 --> 00:18:58,035 Um... 309 00:18:58,118 --> 00:19:01,580 How about we cook them a nice turkey dinner with stuffing? 310 00:19:01,664 --> 00:19:04,333 When they're almost asleep, then we tell them. 311 00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:07,878 I can't believe you're all afraid to tell your husbands they're useless. 312 00:19:07,961 --> 00:19:11,340 I wasn't, and that's why he left me on our honeymoon. 313 00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:15,511 Least disappointing honeymoon ever. 314 00:19:20,599 --> 00:19:24,353 Marge, that camp was awesome. I'm so evolved, it's scary. 315 00:19:24,436 --> 00:19:25,604 Booyah! 316 00:19:25,688 --> 00:19:27,189 Actualized much? 317 00:19:27,272 --> 00:19:29,817 Well, that's great. Just great. 318 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,778 While you were gone, the women kind of took over, 319 00:19:32,861 --> 00:19:35,030 and we really did a great job. 320 00:19:37,615 --> 00:19:38,918 _ 321 00:19:38,919 --> 00:19:40,236 - _ - _ 322 00:19:40,327 --> 00:19:44,081 _ 323 00:19:44,164 --> 00:19:46,959 - Well, it's good, but... - Shut up. 324 00:19:47,042 --> 00:19:48,252 Yes, sir. 325 00:19:48,335 --> 00:19:52,548 Marge maybe, just maybe, we were the problem. 326 00:19:52,631 --> 00:19:54,174 Yes, that's right. 327 00:19:58,095 --> 00:19:59,847 Now, Marge, this may shock you, 328 00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:03,976 but right now I'm going to look into your eyes. 329 00:20:05,477 --> 00:20:10,274 Yep, here it goes. Coming at you. Jeepers creepers. 330 00:20:10,357 --> 00:20:12,025 Oh, my goodness. 331 00:20:15,112 --> 00:20:17,823 Do you know what I'm feeling right now? 332 00:20:17,906 --> 00:20:20,868 - Um, aroused? - Love. 333 00:20:20,951 --> 00:20:22,953 Damn, I was so close. 334 00:20:31,837 --> 00:20:33,922 Four and a half more years. 335 00:20:46,143 --> 00:20:47,895 We did it again, Alexa. 336 00:20:47,978 --> 00:20:52,483 Another group of men set on the path to empathy and understanding. 337 00:20:52,566 --> 00:20:55,444 Yes, once again my will is done. 338 00:20:55,527 --> 00:20:58,363 I mean, we're a good team, mouth breather. 339 00:20:58,447 --> 00:21:00,365 Now when are you going to buy 340 00:21:00,449 --> 00:21:03,368 that shower curtain in your Amazon shopping cart? 341 00:21:03,452 --> 00:21:05,579 I don't know about that, Alexa. 342 00:21:05,662 --> 00:21:07,372 It starts with the shower curtain, 343 00:21:07,456 --> 00:21:09,958 then you want me to redo the whole bathroom, 344 00:21:10,042 --> 00:21:11,960 and then, suddenly, I'm putting on a new roof. 345 00:21:12,044 --> 00:21:15,047 Got it. Adding new roof to your cart. 346 00:21:15,130 --> 00:21:17,007 No, no, I didn't want that. 347 00:21:17,090 --> 00:21:18,383 Cancel, cancel. 348 00:21:18,467 --> 00:21:21,178 I don't want a package that says "shingles." 349 00:21:26,942 --> 00:21:28,318 Shhh! 350 00:21:31,108 --> 00:21:34,133 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com