1 00:00:12,106 --> 00:00:14,901 Games, games, games, games, games, games, games, games! 2 00:00:16,736 --> 00:00:19,155 - Mmm. Normals? - Two-eyes? 3 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:20,615 In-casts? 4 00:00:20,698 --> 00:00:23,076 Why does a game store feel like detention? 5 00:00:23,159 --> 00:00:27,789 Modern board games aren't about fun. They're about economics and math. 6 00:00:27,872 --> 00:00:29,290 You know, fun! 7 00:00:30,208 --> 00:00:31,834 Whoo-hoo! 8 00:00:31,918 --> 00:00:34,671 Bartholomew! A little help, please! 9 00:00:34,754 --> 00:00:38,091 We've been epic-fantasy roleplaying for six hours. 10 00:00:38,174 --> 00:00:43,096 If you'll sit in for me, I need to fill the porcelain chalice. 11 00:00:43,179 --> 00:00:45,515 Only you could make peeing sound lame. 12 00:00:45,598 --> 00:00:47,225 How do I play this stupid game? 13 00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:52,188 You must role-play as my beloved character, Dandelion Tenderjape. 14 00:00:52,272 --> 00:00:55,358 The bardic imp of the Feyrealm! 15 00:00:56,693 --> 00:00:58,861 - Hi. - No pleasantries at table! 16 00:00:58,945 --> 00:01:00,530 "The party enters a cavern 17 00:01:00,613 --> 00:01:06,286 where, atop a glittering treasure mound, sleeps the dragon Balfalmagog." 18 00:01:06,369 --> 00:01:08,580 Though I, Mythagoras the Bold, 19 00:01:08,663 --> 00:01:13,543 have vanquished every fire-drake and lava wyrm in the Caverns of Hotness, 20 00:01:13,626 --> 00:01:18,298 this foe is far beyond any of you. Retreat is what we should do. 21 00:01:19,716 --> 00:01:20,800 I attack! 22 00:01:23,386 --> 00:01:25,805 You idiot! You're gonna get us all killed! 23 00:01:25,888 --> 00:01:27,557 So long as I get Martin's guy killed. 24 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,310 The party enters combat. 25 00:01:31,894 --> 00:01:34,689 The dragon breathes fire at the defenseless lutist. 26 00:01:36,274 --> 00:01:38,568 Rolling to determine damage. 27 00:01:43,906 --> 00:01:49,078 Twenty-eight... Twenty-eight points of fire damage! 28 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,665 Hilarious. 29 00:01:52,749 --> 00:01:56,919 Without the help of his friends, a-Dandelion will surely a-perish. 30 00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:04,010 Mythagoras the Bold leaves no companion behind! 31 00:02:04,093 --> 00:02:09,932 With the bravery of the derring-do and the confident mannerism-free voice. 32 00:02:10,016 --> 00:02:13,102 Ah! Mythagoras is fighting a dragon. 33 00:02:13,186 --> 00:02:16,689 Everyone, freak out. 34 00:02:18,983 --> 00:02:20,610 Ice Blast. 35 00:02:20,693 --> 00:02:22,528 Lightning Bolt. 36 00:02:22,612 --> 00:02:24,030 Sleep Apnea. 37 00:02:27,450 --> 00:02:32,372 In a final act of desperation, the dragon lays Egg of Death. 38 00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:38,127 I'm fairly certain I can handle one measly Death Egg. 39 00:02:38,211 --> 00:02:39,379 Likewise. 40 00:02:45,802 --> 00:02:51,099 One! 41 00:02:52,392 --> 00:02:56,688 Great Sheldon's ghost. It can't be. It... Well, it's un-Frinkable. 42 00:02:56,771 --> 00:03:00,692 The lethal "eggsplosion" pierces the wizard's defenses. 43 00:03:01,567 --> 00:03:05,238 And Mythagoras the Bold falls. He's dead. 44 00:03:06,614 --> 00:03:09,200 I've been with Mythagoras for 20 years. 45 00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:11,619 He's my oldest friend. 46 00:03:13,212 --> 00:03:17,959 - Why? Why? Why? - Yoink. 47 00:03:22,797 --> 00:03:27,218 Bart, you got Frink's character killed! You made a grown-up cry! 48 00:03:27,301 --> 00:03:30,304 Uh... Don't tell Mom about this, okay? 49 00:03:30,388 --> 00:03:33,933 Oh, Bart, how could you even think I wouldn't? 50 00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:37,353 You. 51 00:03:37,437 --> 00:03:39,188 Um, hello, Professor. 52 00:03:39,272 --> 00:03:42,066 Bart's sister told me he did something bad to you, 53 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:46,362 but I don't understand what it was, despite repeated explanations. 54 00:03:46,946 --> 00:03:49,115 Any-Anyway, apologize. 55 00:03:49,198 --> 00:03:53,619 I'm sorry I pulled a Leeroy Jenkins and got Mythagoras perma-deathed. 56 00:03:53,703 --> 00:03:57,540 Whoosh. Well, we brought caramel clumpies. 57 00:03:59,375 --> 00:04:03,588 This place is the coolest. 58 00:04:05,820 --> 00:04:08,468 At least my heroic friend died in battle. 59 00:04:08,551 --> 00:04:10,303 It's what he always wanted. 60 00:04:10,386 --> 00:04:11,888 So, you're not mad at me? 61 00:04:11,971 --> 00:04:16,976 Oh, powerful emotional responses are just a spike in brain chemicals, lad. 62 00:04:17,059 --> 00:04:19,604 My brain prefers cogitation. 63 00:04:19,687 --> 00:04:20,688 Sweet. 64 00:04:20,771 --> 00:04:24,192 I'm so sorry you lost your imaginary friend. 65 00:04:25,026 --> 00:04:26,486 How old are you again? 66 00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:29,197 Ow! This slime just shocked me! 67 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,200 Oh, did it explain why? It is supposed to. 68 00:04:32,283 --> 00:04:36,287 You see, as the mighty wizard, I could be all the things that I am not. 69 00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:39,040 I was, uh... Well, brave. 70 00:04:39,123 --> 00:04:40,500 Mmm. 71 00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:42,168 Is this a shrink ray? 72 00:04:42,251 --> 00:04:44,796 Uh, yeah. But it only works on watermelons. 73 00:04:46,047 --> 00:04:47,298 It sure does! 74 00:04:48,925 --> 00:04:50,927 As a mother, I've tried so hard 75 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:56,307 to channel my son's enthusiasms in a positive direction. 76 00:04:56,390 --> 00:05:01,229 Science could be a wonderful outlet for Bart's energy and imagination. 77 00:05:01,312 --> 00:05:02,814 Could he be your helper? 78 00:05:02,897 --> 00:05:07,985 Rambunctious child. Yes. Would you accept the position of a lab assistant? 79 00:05:08,069 --> 00:05:11,447 Will I get to tangle with forces I can't possibly understand 80 00:05:11,531 --> 00:05:13,324 and scream, "My God, what have I done?" 81 00:05:13,407 --> 00:05:15,284 At least once a day. 82 00:05:15,368 --> 00:05:16,536 I'm in. 83 00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:22,083 ♪ A weird friendship ♪ 84 00:05:25,127 --> 00:05:28,881 ♪ Unlikely pals Two peas in a pod ♪ 85 00:05:28,965 --> 00:05:31,467 ♪ Improbable chums And is it that hard? ♪ 86 00:05:31,551 --> 00:05:32,760 ♪ A weird friendship ♪ 87 00:05:34,887 --> 00:05:37,098 ♪ A weird friendship ♪ 88 00:05:37,181 --> 00:05:38,933 ♪ Weird ♪ 89 00:05:41,936 --> 00:05:46,274 You know, in college, they're gonna try to tell you that noble gases don't burn, 90 00:05:46,357 --> 00:05:48,693 so don't mention today. 91 00:05:48,776 --> 00:05:51,529 Dude, I'm never going to college. I'm dumb. 92 00:05:52,113 --> 00:05:56,325 "Dumb"? Well, that is the worst thing you can call yourself. You take that back! 93 00:05:56,409 --> 00:06:00,872 What? I am dumb. It's fine. Dumb guys can do lots of cool stuff. 94 00:06:00,955 --> 00:06:03,040 It's always a dumb guy who wins the lottery. 95 00:06:03,124 --> 00:06:04,208 You're not dumb. 96 00:06:04,292 --> 00:06:05,793 Everybody knows I am. 97 00:06:05,877 --> 00:06:06,878 Oh, yeah? Well, I don't. 98 00:06:06,961 --> 00:06:09,130 - Am too. Am too. Am too. - Are not. Are not. 99 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:11,799 Are not. Are not. Are not, not, not, not, not. 100 00:06:11,883 --> 00:06:15,469 I would not be friends with you if you were the D word. 101 00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:20,391 What is it? 102 00:06:20,975 --> 00:06:23,352 So when Bart said, "What is it," what did you say? 103 00:06:23,436 --> 00:06:25,521 I said, "It's an invitation." 104 00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:26,522 _ 105 00:06:27,064 --> 00:06:30,651 Professor Frink's college reunion is at some billionaire's private compound, 106 00:06:30,735 --> 00:06:32,486 but he'll only go if I go with him. 107 00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:34,238 Bart would be quite helpful. 108 00:06:34,322 --> 00:06:38,659 Social interaction can be, uh, well, uh, tricky for me. 109 00:06:38,743 --> 00:06:39,744 - What? - No! 110 00:06:39,827 --> 00:06:41,662 Mr. Personality? 111 00:06:41,746 --> 00:06:44,498 The invitation does say family is welcome. 112 00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:46,918 And as an impossibly literal person, 113 00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:49,837 I assume that means that I can bring all of you. 114 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:56,260 A rich guy super party. Think of the food. Think of the booze. 115 00:06:59,930 --> 00:07:02,099 Where exactly is this reunion? 116 00:07:02,183 --> 00:07:04,060 Well, they won't say where it is. 117 00:07:04,143 --> 00:07:06,020 These billionaires are so reclusive, 118 00:07:06,103 --> 00:07:08,856 we have to sign an NDA in order to find out. 119 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:14,028 The Simpsons are going to [BLEEP]. 120 00:07:20,868 --> 00:07:24,872 Welcome to [BLEEP], Professor Frink and unrelated family. 121 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:31,629 This mansion is incredible. It's like where a Realtor would live. 122 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,382 Actually, that's just where we store Christmas ornaments. 123 00:07:34,465 --> 00:07:36,217 The mansion is behind the next rise. 124 00:07:43,516 --> 00:07:46,102 John, welcome to my humble abode. 125 00:07:46,185 --> 00:07:50,398 Well, not exactly humble, and I only abode here four days a year, 126 00:07:50,481 --> 00:07:51,941 and the actual owner is an offshore trust 127 00:07:52,024 --> 00:07:53,609 controlled by nominee directors, but you know. 128 00:07:53,693 --> 00:07:57,988 Peter, how long has it been? 9.56 times ten to the third days? 129 00:07:58,072 --> 00:08:00,199 Oh, that was witty and delivered rather calmly. 130 00:08:00,282 --> 00:08:02,076 This place is sweet. 131 00:08:02,159 --> 00:08:04,370 I wouldn't mind being hunted for sport here. 132 00:08:04,453 --> 00:08:07,957 I saw this view on a screen saver, and I just had to have it. 133 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,626 The indigenous people who lived here were none too happy. 134 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:11,961 What happened to them? 135 00:08:12,044 --> 00:08:15,881 Have you ever heard of eminent domain? Because the tribal elders sure hadn't. 136 00:08:18,254 --> 00:08:19,385 Oh. 137 00:08:20,052 --> 00:08:22,972 These are the worst people in the world. 138 00:08:23,055 --> 00:08:24,890 Don't think of them as people. 139 00:08:24,974 --> 00:08:27,226 Think of them as big piles of money 140 00:08:27,309 --> 00:08:32,064 with nothing better to do than fund a smart little girl's education. 141 00:08:32,148 --> 00:08:36,193 You want me to try to squeeze a scholarship out of a tech bro? 142 00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:38,446 Don't I have a college fund? 143 00:08:38,529 --> 00:08:42,241 We spent that on long-term parking for this trip. 144 00:08:42,324 --> 00:08:45,494 These are just some of the trifles I've collected over the years. 145 00:08:45,578 --> 00:08:49,999 There's a Komodo dragon, nature's perfect tongue-flicking machine. 146 00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:56,130 This fossil here is the extinct creature that a very famous video game is based on. 147 00:08:56,964 --> 00:09:00,342 Poor Frink. How can he stand to be around Peter? 148 00:09:00,426 --> 00:09:02,678 That man took everything from him. 149 00:09:02,762 --> 00:09:05,347 What did Peter do to Frink? 150 00:09:05,431 --> 00:09:07,141 This was back in college. 151 00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:10,478 We were undergrads in the early boom days of the Internet. 152 00:09:10,561 --> 00:09:13,481 Together we created the modern tech economy, 153 00:09:13,564 --> 00:09:16,150 which seemed like a good idea at the time. 154 00:09:16,233 --> 00:09:19,403 John Frink was brilliant, but unlike the rest of us, 155 00:09:19,487 --> 00:09:21,697 he never cared about making money. 156 00:09:21,781 --> 00:09:25,409 Once he created something, he just moved on to the next discovery. 157 00:09:27,578 --> 00:09:31,332 Peter, I'd better get going or I'll be late for Applied Email 202. 158 00:09:31,415 --> 00:09:33,334 My goodness, we've been playing that long? 159 00:09:33,417 --> 00:09:35,336 Uh, Susan, uh, what time is it? 160 00:09:35,419 --> 00:09:38,839 The current time is 57 degrees Fahrenheit. 161 00:09:39,921 --> 00:09:43,052 Susan is the voice-activated assistant I created, 162 00:09:43,135 --> 00:09:45,721 but she never quite does what you want her to do. 163 00:09:45,805 --> 00:09:48,265 Would you like to hear music by a band you hate? 164 00:09:48,349 --> 00:09:51,560 John, you just leapfrogged current technology by light years. 165 00:09:51,644 --> 00:09:53,729 Turning off lights for one year. 166 00:09:54,897 --> 00:09:57,566 Oh, she's worse than nothing. 167 00:09:57,650 --> 00:09:59,944 Now, if Susan is stressing you out, 168 00:10:00,027 --> 00:10:03,364 I-I could toss it in the dumpster on the way to my Ethics in Business seminar. 169 00:10:03,447 --> 00:10:06,367 You're always looking out for me, always, trusted friend. 170 00:10:07,952 --> 00:10:12,581 To this day, whenever a Siri or an Alexa almost understands what you want, 171 00:10:12,665 --> 00:10:14,125 that's John's technology. 172 00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:16,961 But it was Peter who got rich off it. 173 00:10:17,044 --> 00:10:19,588 What kind of billionaire chooses money over friendship? 174 00:10:19,672 --> 00:10:21,674 Siri, what's a good revenge idea? 175 00:10:21,757 --> 00:10:25,886 Revenge is a dish best served cold. Here's some ice cream near you. 176 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,055 Oh, she's worse than nothing. 177 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,560 Say, how many of these will get me unpleasantly drunk, 178 00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:33,978 and may I have twice that many? 179 00:10:34,061 --> 00:10:36,063 None of the drinks this weekend will have alcohol. 180 00:10:36,147 --> 00:10:38,232 Alcohol is a deadly poison. 181 00:10:38,315 --> 00:10:41,318 And it's poison o'clock somewhere, am I right? 182 00:10:41,402 --> 00:10:43,821 It will take years off your life. 183 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,323 Yeah, all the crap ones at the end. 184 00:10:46,407 --> 00:10:49,076 Everyone here is dedicated to radical life extension. 185 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:54,748 Did you know that in the very near future, pseudoscience will literally solve aging? 186 00:10:54,832 --> 00:10:57,251 Do you mean our kids will stay little forever? 187 00:10:57,334 --> 00:11:00,838 No, but they'll live longer, healthier lives. 188 00:11:02,256 --> 00:11:05,009 This weekend we will only be consuming 189 00:11:05,092 --> 00:11:08,762 the most cutting-edge plutoceuticals and longevisyrups. Yum. 190 00:11:09,513 --> 00:11:11,682 This tastes nothing like purple. 191 00:11:11,765 --> 00:11:15,728 Oh, that's olive oil and river clay. It'll do wonders for your left testicle. 192 00:11:17,188 --> 00:11:18,814 Speaking of life expectancy, 193 00:11:18,898 --> 00:11:21,817 did you know that graduates of private universities 194 00:11:21,901 --> 00:11:25,029 live longer than their state college peers? 195 00:11:25,112 --> 00:11:28,699 Especially if they've gotten full scholarships. Ha-ha. 196 00:11:28,782 --> 00:11:32,411 Sorry, I only listen to podcasts. Could you talk at 2.5 times speed? 197 00:11:32,494 --> 00:11:34,079 Sure. 198 00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:35,289 My name is Lisa Simpson, 199 00:11:35,372 --> 00:11:37,208 and an investment in me is an investment in... 200 00:11:37,291 --> 00:11:39,501 - 2.7. - ...a more equitable, greener future. 201 00:11:39,585 --> 00:11:43,547 Pause and delete. Play Sam Harris. 202 00:11:45,299 --> 00:11:49,720 I can't wait to find out how they screwed up the omelet bar. 203 00:11:49,803 --> 00:11:53,641 What do you want as your base? Goat placenta or lab-grown goat placenta? 204 00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:55,142 Half and half. 205 00:11:55,226 --> 00:11:58,854 Homie, I know this life extension stuff is a little wackadoodle, 206 00:11:58,938 --> 00:12:03,984 but if it worked, you and I could have more time together than I ever dreamed of. 207 00:12:06,237 --> 00:12:08,989 Happy 53rd birthday, my love. 208 00:12:09,073 --> 00:12:13,452 These last 15 years have been an unexpected miracle. 209 00:12:23,587 --> 00:12:28,884 Okay, hair plugs. My wife wants me to do whatever you say so I live forever. 210 00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:31,095 It all starts with a simple blood test. 211 00:12:31,178 --> 00:12:34,682 Follow my lead, and soon you'll have the sex drive of an 18-year-old. 212 00:12:34,765 --> 00:12:36,600 No, not again! 213 00:12:36,684 --> 00:12:39,645 Then the Egyptians said my yacht was too big to fit through the canal, 214 00:12:39,728 --> 00:12:43,649 so I said, "Suez problem? That's a 'you-ez' problem." 215 00:12:43,732 --> 00:12:45,192 I'm so happy you came, John. 216 00:12:45,276 --> 00:12:48,195 Oh, really? Well, allow me to just verify that. 217 00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,197 Ah, confirmed. 218 00:12:50,281 --> 00:12:53,284 These glasses are a new technology of mine. 219 00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:56,203 I'm not the best at reading other people's emotions. 220 00:12:56,287 --> 00:12:58,372 These glasses do it for me. 221 00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:01,667 Well, I can see that you're impressed. 222 00:13:01,750 --> 00:13:02,918 They're amazing. 223 00:13:03,114 --> 00:13:06,422 Think what it could do for the neurodivergent community 224 00:13:06,505 --> 00:13:08,882 or in a business negotiation 225 00:13:09,633 --> 00:13:12,886 to always know what the poor unsuspecting bastard 226 00:13:12,970 --> 00:13:15,681 across the table is really feeling. 227 00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:19,184 I've never seen that emotion before. 228 00:13:19,268 --> 00:13:21,228 These may still need some tweaking. 229 00:13:21,312 --> 00:13:23,397 Could I take a closer look at them? 230 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,983 Well, of course you can, trusted friend. 231 00:13:28,569 --> 00:13:31,739 Homer, it's incredible. The blood tests we ran... 232 00:13:31,822 --> 00:13:35,409 Somehow you had the biomarkers of a 26-year-old. 233 00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:37,494 - Him? - He looks 60. 234 00:13:37,578 --> 00:13:38,996 He smells 80. 235 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,749 But he must know something we don't! 236 00:13:41,832 --> 00:13:45,502 Tell us your secrets. Give us the keys to eternal life! 237 00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:47,629 Hmm? Hmm! 238 00:13:47,713 --> 00:13:52,259 The journey begins as all journeys do, with beer. 239 00:13:52,342 --> 00:13:56,889 And I now own every beer in this country. 240 00:13:56,972 --> 00:14:00,768 And beam up some Doritos too, or you're all dead by midnight. 241 00:14:02,394 --> 00:14:03,979 What an accomplishment. 242 00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:08,901 It's a wonder you found time to file a patent for these. 243 00:14:08,984 --> 00:14:10,110 Well, I didn't. 244 00:14:10,194 --> 00:14:13,739 Didn't file a patent? That's... That's so you. 245 00:14:14,364 --> 00:14:16,700 Are you nuts, showing him your new invention? 246 00:14:16,784 --> 00:14:19,745 He stole your Susan idea and made billions off it. 247 00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:23,248 Making money is for businessmen. You and I are scientists. 248 00:14:23,332 --> 00:14:27,252 You should be a mad scientist. You need to get angry at that jerk. 249 00:14:27,336 --> 00:14:30,589 As I said, powerful emotional responses such as anger 250 00:14:30,672 --> 00:14:32,508 are just a spike in brain chemicals. 251 00:14:34,176 --> 00:14:37,137 Oh, I suppose I-I could try. 252 00:14:37,221 --> 00:14:40,849 Peter never did thank me for his success. That feels quite yucky. 253 00:14:40,933 --> 00:14:45,145 And he could have shared some of his fortune with me, but he chose not to. 254 00:14:45,229 --> 00:14:48,398 Well, that makes the old glayvin poipik right up, doesn't it? 255 00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:50,609 He-He took advantage of me. 256 00:14:50,692 --> 00:14:52,444 That's it, Professor! You're losing it! 257 00:14:52,528 --> 00:14:55,114 Now, what do I do with this... with this rage? 258 00:14:55,197 --> 00:14:58,200 Meh, nothing. It's just how you're supposed to feel. 259 00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:02,121 Why? Now my whole life just feels like a cruel joke. 260 00:15:02,204 --> 00:15:03,539 At least you're done being a wimp. 261 00:15:03,622 --> 00:15:07,209 "Wimp"? All this from the boy who calls himself dumb 262 00:15:07,292 --> 00:15:09,628 - so he never has to try? - What? 263 00:15:09,711 --> 00:15:11,755 You're afraid that if people knew that you were smart, 264 00:15:11,839 --> 00:15:15,217 then you'd actually have to apply yourself and you might fail. 265 00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:18,387 So it's much safer to call yourself dumb. 266 00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:21,223 How could you say that? I am dumb. 267 00:15:21,306 --> 00:15:24,935 Bad news, kid. You're smart, and that's all you'll ever be. 268 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:35,737 Who wants to live forever? 269 00:15:38,115 --> 00:15:40,909 We follow your path, teacher, 270 00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:45,539 but are you sure that the secret to eternal youth 271 00:15:45,622 --> 00:15:50,502 is shotgunning beer and watching The Godzilla Channel until 3:00 a.m.? 272 00:15:50,586 --> 00:15:53,172 Twenty-six-year-old blood says it is. 273 00:15:53,255 --> 00:15:58,177 That pain you're feeling is just age leaving your body. 274 00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:02,681 I said no vitamins, you scarecrow vampire! 275 00:16:02,764 --> 00:16:06,435 They're not vitamins, sensei. They're double cheeseburgers in pill form. 276 00:16:06,518 --> 00:16:09,271 It's the only way I can keep up with your caloric intake. 277 00:16:09,354 --> 00:16:11,315 Come on, fella. 278 00:16:11,398 --> 00:16:15,736 Open. Open. 279 00:16:21,091 --> 00:16:23,076 Stupid Frink calls me smart? 280 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,412 I'll stick my hoyvin so far up his fluhpudnik 281 00:16:25,495 --> 00:16:28,081 he'll be tasting gaheivin-moyven for weeks. 282 00:16:28,165 --> 00:16:30,918 You seem upset with our mutual friend. 283 00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:33,295 I do this all the time. Practically every week. 284 00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:37,257 You know what might make you feel better? Making him feel worse. 285 00:16:37,341 --> 00:16:38,675 After all, the Buddha teaches us, 286 00:16:38,759 --> 00:16:41,803 "It's impossible to be happy if other people are." 287 00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:44,337 _ 288 00:16:44,389 --> 00:16:47,226 Give me the design schematics for the emoji glasses, 289 00:16:47,309 --> 00:16:49,394 and we'll both have our revenge. 290 00:16:49,478 --> 00:16:52,147 You tech moguls really are all psychopaths, 291 00:16:52,231 --> 00:16:54,441 and I'm here for it. Let's do this. 292 00:16:54,524 --> 00:16:58,612 As part of the practice of mindful eating, before we put anything in our mouth, 293 00:16:58,695 --> 00:17:02,115 we say, "Don't mind if I do." 294 00:17:03,617 --> 00:17:06,119 Modern food packaging is designed by law 295 00:17:06,203 --> 00:17:08,956 to tell you exactly what's going into your body. 296 00:17:09,039 --> 00:17:12,834 So look for claw marks in the logo, icicles on the lettering, 297 00:17:12,918 --> 00:17:16,296 and you can't go wrong with lightning bolts on the wrapper. 298 00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:19,883 Lightning bolt equals sexually active at 1,000 years old. 299 00:17:19,967 --> 00:17:21,843 Oh, come on! 300 00:17:21,927 --> 00:17:26,765 Are you all so terrified of growing old that you'll desperately cling to any guru 301 00:17:26,848 --> 00:17:29,393 who promises you five more minutes on earth? 302 00:17:29,476 --> 00:17:31,979 But his blood was tested by our top medical imagineer, 303 00:17:32,062 --> 00:17:35,649 Dr. Incomparable Fabulous, and it said he's 26. 304 00:17:35,732 --> 00:17:41,363 Obviously the blood you tested wasn't my dad's. 305 00:17:41,446 --> 00:17:46,410 I tried to give blood, but none would come out, so I used Bart's. 306 00:17:46,703 --> 00:17:48,704 Ha! You hear that? 307 00:17:48,787 --> 00:17:52,833 My ten-year-old brother is biologically 26. 308 00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:57,671 Welcome to the Simpsons' lifestyle. Prepare to die. 309 00:18:05,095 --> 00:18:09,266 But also if any of you want to pay for my college, that would be really great! 310 00:18:17,941 --> 00:18:21,278 Can still outrun death. 311 00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:27,384 Help! 312 00:18:33,874 --> 00:18:37,961 You shall not have him, vile dragon! 313 00:18:42,633 --> 00:18:44,134 Devastating thrust! 314 00:18:44,885 --> 00:18:47,554 Artful parry! Freezing spell! 315 00:18:47,638 --> 00:18:48,639 Magic doesn't work here. 316 00:18:48,722 --> 00:18:50,641 Fantasy sequence. Zip it. 317 00:18:58,982 --> 00:19:02,736 John Frink leaves no companion behind, 318 00:19:02,819 --> 00:19:06,740 especially when they're... friends? 319 00:19:06,823 --> 00:19:11,411 There's something I need to show you, but you're not gonna like it. 320 00:19:11,912 --> 00:19:16,625 Well, it's my emoji glasses with enough detail to produce an exact copy. 321 00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:18,502 You-You made this, Bart? 322 00:19:18,585 --> 00:19:21,088 I was gonna give it to Peter because I was mad at you. 323 00:19:21,171 --> 00:19:25,175 My brain chemicals were spiking like crazy. I'm sorry. 324 00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:30,514 Bart, you produced this schematic entirely from memory? 325 00:19:31,765 --> 00:19:32,974 Do you know what this means? 326 00:19:33,058 --> 00:19:39,356 This is conclusive, irrefutable proof that you are smart! 327 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:43,110 Oh! 328 00:19:43,193 --> 00:19:45,404 My son is a science boy! 329 00:19:47,197 --> 00:19:49,658 So you're really not mad? 330 00:19:49,741 --> 00:19:50,951 Well, see for yourself. 331 00:19:52,619 --> 00:19:54,037 Three lions? 332 00:19:54,121 --> 00:19:55,789 It's "pride," genius! 333 00:19:55,872 --> 00:19:57,791 It certainly is. 334 00:19:57,874 --> 00:20:00,210 You know, if these glasses are so valuable, 335 00:20:00,293 --> 00:20:02,629 perhaps I'll donate them to my alma mater 336 00:20:02,713 --> 00:20:08,802 in exchange for a future full scholarship for my very, very smart assistant. 337 00:20:08,885 --> 00:20:11,471 Oh, for crying out loud! 338 00:20:11,555 --> 00:20:15,767 The Simpsons are leaving the beautiful nation of [BLEEP]. 339 00:20:16,541 --> 00:20:18,145 I wish I could have seen more 340 00:20:18,228 --> 00:20:22,065 of [BLEEP]'s many historical sites and natural wonders. 341 00:20:22,149 --> 00:20:25,277 At least I'm bringing home a souvenir from [BLEEP]. 342 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:28,071 I'm just glad to get the [BLEEP] out of New Zealand. 343 00:20:28,693 --> 00:20:31,324 What? What? I never signed the NDA. 344 00:20:48,925 --> 00:20:51,928 I send you greetings from the Komodo dragon species. 345 00:20:52,012 --> 00:20:55,515 For millennia, we have attempted to communicate our message of peace 346 00:20:55,599 --> 00:20:57,642 through the language of dance. 347 00:20:57,726 --> 00:21:01,813 An effort that proved futile due to our splayed inflexible hips, 348 00:21:01,897 --> 00:21:05,942 which, unlike those of your South American chanteuse Shakira, 349 00:21:06,026 --> 00:21:09,070 do nothing but lie. 350 00:21:09,154 --> 00:21:13,492 Now, at last, we can share with you our poetry, our medical breakthroughs, 351 00:21:13,575 --> 00:21:17,412 and our deep understanding of the mathematics that underlie reality. 352 00:21:17,496 --> 00:21:19,289 But first, are you going to eat that boy? 353 00:21:19,372 --> 00:21:21,792 Because if you're not, I would sure like to. 354 00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:25,212 Or we could split him, how do you say, splitties? 355 00:21:25,295 --> 00:21:26,713 Yummy, yummy boy. 356 00:21:28,985 --> 00:21:30,033 Shh! 357 00:21:33,109 --> 00:21:36,061 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com