1 00:00:06,248 --> 00:00:07,248 _ 2 00:00:22,264 --> 00:00:23,390 _ 3 00:00:24,355 --> 00:00:25,449 _ 4 00:00:27,046 --> 00:00:29,438 - Yeah. - Morning, ladies. 5 00:00:29,521 --> 00:00:31,190 Get off our case, Ken. 6 00:00:31,273 --> 00:00:32,900 We're working as fast as we can. 7 00:00:32,983 --> 00:00:35,068 We're human beings, you toad. 8 00:00:35,152 --> 00:00:36,737 I guess you haven't heard. 9 00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:41,283 I won that $100 million lottery, so my lawyer says I should retire. 10 00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:45,496 No one wants a supervisor job, so heads or tails? 11 00:00:46,288 --> 00:00:47,664 Heads. 12 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:53,128 Heads, so the new supervisor is, um... 13 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:57,299 the one with the circle earrings. 14 00:00:57,382 --> 00:00:58,383 Selma. 15 00:00:58,467 --> 00:01:00,510 We're two different people, Ken. 16 00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:03,096 You still share the same e-mail? 17 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:04,389 Yes. 18 00:01:04,473 --> 00:01:07,351 Fine. Selma, congratulations. 19 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:12,606 I'll send you the onboarding info when I get back from the Ferrari dealership. 20 00:01:14,858 --> 00:01:16,985 Supervisor. Huh. 21 00:01:17,069 --> 00:01:18,278 This could be good for us. 22 00:01:18,362 --> 00:01:20,948 Finally, no one breathing down our neck humps. 23 00:01:21,031 --> 00:01:23,450 Yeah, no one. 24 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,621 Another perfect checkup, Lisa. 25 00:01:27,704 --> 00:01:28,705 Next. 26 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,166 Hang tight, Dr K. I just got to freshen up. 27 00:01:39,258 --> 00:01:42,052 All right. Let's see what we're working with here. 28 00:01:47,557 --> 00:01:50,227 "Four-hour teeth cleaning..." 29 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,603 "Emergency whitening. 30 00:01:51,687 --> 00:01:54,439 Oreo exposure therapy for the hygienist." 31 00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:57,025 Do you have any idea how much your stunt cost? 32 00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:01,196 Can you really put a price on that kind of comedy? 33 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,658 What I can do is find a punishment that fits the crime. 34 00:02:04,741 --> 00:02:08,078 Now you have an appointment with Dr. Homer. 35 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:15,168 It's time to open wide and say, "Ah." 36 00:02:15,252 --> 00:02:18,463 My next patient, Xbox. 37 00:02:19,548 --> 00:02:22,134 Oh! You... You wouldn't. 38 00:02:24,761 --> 00:02:25,762 I can feel it. 39 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,264 Why can I feel it? 40 00:02:33,099 --> 00:02:34,396 _ 41 00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:36,148 Patty, look at that line. 42 00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:38,483 You've been bedazzling for hours. 43 00:02:39,144 --> 00:02:41,653 - Okay, Ken. - Dazzler down. 44 00:02:41,737 --> 00:02:43,822 "Denied" stamp up, please. 45 00:02:48,118 --> 00:02:49,828 This is my new office with a window, 46 00:02:49,911 --> 00:02:55,292 so I can see my staff working or Patty reading lesbian vampire erotica. 47 00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,046 Homer. 48 00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:00,714 Relax. It's on reverse. 49 00:03:00,797 --> 00:03:02,507 And here's my office air conditioner, 50 00:03:02,591 --> 00:03:05,344 so I don't have to sweat like the rank and file. 51 00:03:05,427 --> 00:03:07,638 Keep clicking. I'll be in the can. 52 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,222 Upstairs bathroom! 53 00:03:09,306 --> 00:03:10,390 Candle! 54 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,727 Oh, stupid Homer. 55 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:17,689 If he mouth-cookied a dentist, he'd be all like, "Who else could I mouth-cookie?" 56 00:03:17,773 --> 00:03:21,318 My life would be so awesome if Mom had never met him. 57 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,945 Hmm. Sounds like you're finally seeing the light. 58 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,198 I hate Homer so much. 59 00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:30,619 Hmm, perhaps the enemy of my brother-in-law is my nephew. 60 00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:32,996 You know, Selma and I have been planning 61 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,041 something very special for Homer J. Simpson, 62 00:03:36,124 --> 00:03:39,795 but these days, Selma's too busy busting my clangers. 63 00:03:39,878 --> 00:03:42,547 I know a way to kill your dad. 64 00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:45,050 Whoa, whoa. I don't want to murder the guy. 65 00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:47,219 Oh, crap. Now I'm intrigued. Explain. 66 00:03:47,302 --> 00:03:50,931 Not actually dead, just officially dead. 67 00:03:51,014 --> 00:03:56,645 All I gotta do is log in as my supervisor, Selma, with face recognition. 68 00:04:00,232 --> 00:04:04,569 Check this box, and Homer Simpson will be legally deceased. 69 00:04:04,653 --> 00:04:08,532 Trust me, it will make every aspect of his life a living hell. 70 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,617 He won't even be able to rent a U-Haul. 71 00:04:12,109 --> 00:04:14,579 He loves renting those things. 72 00:04:15,997 --> 00:04:17,624 And he's gone. 73 00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:21,628 Come on, get in there! 74 00:04:25,549 --> 00:04:26,800 Ghost pepper? 75 00:04:26,883 --> 00:04:29,010 More like Casper the friendly ghost. 76 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,387 Oh. Now it's kicking in. 77 00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:39,438 Sorry, Officer. I was distracted 78 00:04:39,521 --> 00:04:43,734 because somebody threw a burrito through my window. 79 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,069 Eh, nothing good like that ever happens to me. 80 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,154 License. 81 00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,157 That's strange. 82 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,076 According to the state database, you're... 83 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,161 you're dead. 84 00:04:54,244 --> 00:04:56,830 Dead? Can I still rent a U-Haul? 85 00:04:56,913 --> 00:05:00,667 You do seem alive, but this police machine is in charge, 86 00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:01,918 so I can't give you a ticket. 87 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,295 Might want to get that cleared up. 88 00:05:03,378 --> 00:05:05,672 Otherwise, you won't be paying taxes or union dues 89 00:05:05,756 --> 00:05:07,966 or getting any more spam phone calls. 90 00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:11,720 Hmm. No taxes, dues, or the last thing? 91 00:05:11,803 --> 00:05:15,807 Maybe death can give me the life I've always dreamed of. 92 00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:19,102 ♪ Well, it's all right ♪ 93 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,979 ♪ Riding around in the breeze ♪ 94 00:05:21,062 --> 00:05:24,483 - ♪ Well, it's all right ♪ - _ 95 00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:26,818 ♪ If you live the life you please ♪ 96 00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:30,238 - ♪ Well, it's all right ♪ - _ 97 00:05:30,322 --> 00:05:32,365 ♪ Doing the best you can ♪ 98 00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:35,952 ♪ Well, it's all right ♪ 99 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,497 ♪ As long as you lend a hand ♪ 100 00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:43,543 Hey, hey. 101 00:05:43,627 --> 00:05:45,712 Homer was one of our greatest patrons. 102 00:05:45,796 --> 00:05:49,090 Burger Reynolds, Princess Fry and I are honored to induct you 103 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:52,677 into the Krusty Burger Widow's Free Fast Food for Life Club. 104 00:05:53,678 --> 00:05:55,680 Thanks, I guess. 105 00:05:57,098 --> 00:05:58,183 Gimme, gimme, gimme. 106 00:05:59,142 --> 00:06:01,478 I should have died years ago. 107 00:06:05,315 --> 00:06:08,151 Oh. How could this have backfired so hard? 108 00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:12,864 You got too much slack in your pen chains. 109 00:06:12,948 --> 00:06:16,326 The handbook says 35 beads max. 110 00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:19,246 Do yourself a favor and read it over lunch. 111 00:06:19,329 --> 00:06:21,790 How about I take my lunch right now? 112 00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:24,167 Nah! 113 00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:26,545 Whoa! 114 00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:29,673 Aunt Patty, I think we made a mistake killing my dad. 115 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:31,800 You didn't. Tell me you didn't. 116 00:06:31,883 --> 00:06:33,093 Big deal. 117 00:06:33,176 --> 00:06:36,137 I logged in as you and had Homer declared dead. 118 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:40,851 You impersonated a DMV supervisor, you committed document fraud, 119 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:46,273 and worst of all, you executed Operation Kill Fatso without me. 120 00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:50,277 What are you gonna do about it? 121 00:06:51,361 --> 00:06:55,865 Patricia Agatha Cruella Bouvier, you are fired. 122 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,325 Oho! 123 00:06:57,409 --> 00:06:58,410 Oh! 124 00:06:58,780 --> 00:07:00,412 It's just hitting me now. 125 00:07:00,495 --> 00:07:02,205 You two are twins! 126 00:07:06,536 --> 00:07:07,707 _ 127 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,422 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 128 00:07:10,505 --> 00:07:12,757 Yeah. I'm sorry she said that, Patty. 129 00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,467 Hold one sec. 130 00:07:14,551 --> 00:07:16,261 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 131 00:07:16,344 --> 00:07:20,056 Selma, you can call her an A, you can call her a B, 132 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,934 but you can't call her a... Ho-Hold one sec. 133 00:07:23,018 --> 00:07:25,770 Yes, Lenny, I know they're twins. 134 00:07:26,329 --> 00:07:28,315 Ever since Selma got this promotion, 135 00:07:28,398 --> 00:07:30,233 I haven't had a minute of peace. 136 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:34,696 All day long, I'm on the phone listening to my sisters trash-talk each other. 137 00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,491 Honey, life is so short. 138 00:07:38,575 --> 00:07:39,701 Certainly mine was. 139 00:07:39,784 --> 00:07:43,705 So, take it from your late husband, ghost those hags. 140 00:07:48,627 --> 00:07:51,046 If you get the job, we're really gonna need you 141 00:07:51,129 --> 00:07:54,132 to push the customers towards the heavier mix-ins. 142 00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:58,511 Fine, but I can only work Mondays and Wednesdays. 143 00:07:58,595 --> 00:08:00,263 Thursdays, Zoom only. 144 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,391 Um, I think we tell you the schedule. 145 00:08:03,475 --> 00:08:06,603 Uh. Thanks for coming in, but this isn't gonna work out. 146 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,356 Hey, Aunt Patty. 147 00:08:09,439 --> 00:08:10,982 I'm sorry I got you fired. 148 00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:12,609 Uh, it's not your fault. 149 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,986 Me and my sister were due for a falling out. 150 00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:17,155 She thinks she's so perfect, superior, 151 00:08:17,238 --> 00:08:20,408 bossy, know-it-all, Mom and Dad's favorite. 152 00:08:20,492 --> 00:08:23,161 Wow, sounds like you got yourself a real Lisa there. 153 00:08:24,039 --> 00:08:27,832 I guess you and I are sort of the black sheep, aren't we? 154 00:08:27,916 --> 00:08:30,585 We're underachievers and damn proud of it. 155 00:08:30,669 --> 00:08:34,673 But I'd be extra screwed up if people also confused me for Lisa. 156 00:08:34,756 --> 00:08:36,132 Whoa. 157 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,843 You know, you don't have to look just like Selma. 158 00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:41,012 Genetics seem to say otherwise. 159 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,766 There's gotta be something you can change to shake things up. 160 00:08:44,849 --> 00:08:46,059 Hmm. 161 00:08:48,979 --> 00:08:51,231 - Grace Jones. - Too '80s. 162 00:08:51,314 --> 00:08:53,149 - Pippi! - Too Wendy's. 163 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,360 - Dachshund. - That's a dog. 164 00:08:55,443 --> 00:08:58,655 Come on, Aunt P. We're not here to just jump in the deep end. 165 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:01,032 It's time to dive in the shallow end. 166 00:09:01,116 --> 00:09:05,954 Well, I do have an idea, but no, no, it's probably too crazy. 167 00:09:07,622 --> 00:09:09,082 I live. 168 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:15,964 Ready to meet your new fabulous aunt? 169 00:09:17,609 --> 00:09:18,800 Ay, caramba! 170 00:09:18,883 --> 00:09:20,093 Next! 171 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,933 People just do whatever they want with me. 172 00:09:27,017 --> 00:09:28,852 You look ridiculous. 173 00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:29,978 What do you care? 174 00:09:30,061 --> 00:09:31,104 I don't care. 175 00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:32,188 I'm glad you don't. 176 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:35,025 It's just, what if someone thinks you're me? 177 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,360 Sounds like somebody cares. 178 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,445 I don't. 179 00:09:38,528 --> 00:09:39,988 I'm just worried about Jub-Jub. 180 00:09:40,071 --> 00:09:41,781 I've never seen him so upset. 181 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,201 Patty's out of control. 182 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,537 First, she gets a ridiculous haircut. 183 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:51,332 And did I tell you what condiments she got on the TV remote? 184 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,460 Yes, but Lisa hasn't heard yet. 185 00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:54,919 Why don't you tell her? 186 00:09:55,003 --> 00:09:56,546 Under the bus, huh, Mom? 187 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,257 It was ketchup, mustard and honey mustard. 188 00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:00,467 Mind if I smoke? 189 00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:01,843 Again, yes. 190 00:10:01,926 --> 00:10:05,138 It sounds like you're going through a really tough time, Aunt Selma. 191 00:10:05,221 --> 00:10:08,475 You have no idea what it's like living your whole life 192 00:10:08,558 --> 00:10:12,395 with a sibling whose only joy is making you miserable. 193 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,356 Actually, I know exactly what that's like. 194 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,984 Patty's always stunting my personal growth. 195 00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:21,696 I even stopped dating because she resented whenever I made a connection. 196 00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:22,781 Interesting. 197 00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:27,160 Well, maybe it's time to dust off your online dating profile. 198 00:10:30,371 --> 00:10:32,165 How old is that photo? 199 00:10:32,248 --> 00:10:33,750 It's not that old. 200 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,544 You're at a Howard Johnson's. 201 00:10:36,901 --> 00:10:38,587 _ 202 00:10:38,588 --> 00:10:40,924 Well, if you want the most bang for your hole, 203 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,009 I'd suggest we do your tragus. 204 00:10:43,093 --> 00:10:44,928 It's the third sexiest part of the ear. 205 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,262 Oh, gross. 206 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,388 You gotta do that one. 207 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,350 If Bart says it's a go, it's a go. 208 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:52,560 Oh. One more thing. 209 00:10:52,644 --> 00:10:54,896 You don't have a fear of extreme pain, do you? 210 00:10:54,979 --> 00:10:58,399 No, I have a fear of stupid questions. 211 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,068 I think I'm gonna enjoy this. 212 00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:05,782 Awesome! 213 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:06,866 Oh. 214 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,038 Uh. 215 00:11:13,581 --> 00:11:15,500 - Who the hell are you? - Merle. 216 00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:19,879 I'm your sister's new nighttime friend, and you must be the infamous twin. 217 00:11:19,963 --> 00:11:22,465 Did you sleep over? 218 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,634 Well, I didn't break in. 219 00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:25,844 Can I make you some eggs? 220 00:11:25,927 --> 00:11:30,223 It's a special recipe, same one they serve in the JFK Delta Lounge. 221 00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:33,476 - I see you've met the what's-his-face. - Merle! 222 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,687 We've got only two rules here. 223 00:11:35,770 --> 00:11:42,110 MacGyver every Sunday and no unvetted Merles without the approval of both twins. 224 00:11:42,193 --> 00:11:47,615 I have no twin anymore, ever since she weed-whacked half her head. 225 00:11:47,699 --> 00:11:50,827 This may be my infected tragus talking, 226 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:53,454 but I'm done with this, all of this. 227 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:56,124 I hope you like tarragon. 228 00:11:56,207 --> 00:11:59,669 At least my life coach isn't a ten-year-old boy. 229 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:03,047 Every second I'm around you, I feel like I'm in prison. 230 00:12:03,131 --> 00:12:05,675 That's the one thing we have in common. 231 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:06,843 I'm outta here. 232 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,595 Have a nice life. 233 00:12:08,678 --> 00:12:10,430 Big relationship question. 234 00:12:10,513 --> 00:12:12,056 Eggs runny or dry? 235 00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:14,559 I can live with either, but I gotta know now. 236 00:12:14,642 --> 00:12:16,436 Selma, calm down. 237 00:12:16,519 --> 00:12:18,897 What do you mean Patty moved out? 238 00:12:19,191 --> 00:12:21,065 Patty's gone? Where'd she go? 239 00:12:21,149 --> 00:12:24,861 She said she's going to the place where she'll finally be happy 240 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,071 and she's never coming back. 241 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,074 ♪ These boots are made for walking ♪ 242 00:12:30,158 --> 00:12:32,577 ♪ And that's just what they'll do ♪ 243 00:12:33,411 --> 00:12:35,079 ♪ One of these days these boots ♪ 244 00:12:35,163 --> 00:12:38,166 - ♪ Are gonna walk all over you ♪ - _ 245 00:12:43,254 --> 00:12:45,089 I should've done this years ago. 246 00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:46,841 I feel so free. 247 00:12:46,925 --> 00:12:48,676 This is a queer paradise. 248 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,929 We have slurs for straight people here 249 00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:55,892 and the obscene amount of water wasted keeping this place green... 250 00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:58,269 I love it. 251 00:12:58,353 --> 00:13:00,146 But what are you going to do for work? 252 00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:01,522 I already got a job. 253 00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:04,275 There's a high demand here for somebody like myself 254 00:13:04,359 --> 00:13:08,154 with experience in government regulatory enforcement. 255 00:13:08,574 --> 00:13:10,280 _ 256 00:13:10,281 --> 00:13:16,496 So you're applying to change a kitchen faucet in your 1948 Albert Frey house. 257 00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:21,292 We found a perfect match to the original Pfister center set hammered copper faucet. 258 00:13:21,376 --> 00:13:24,379 Hmm. I'm not seeing patina. 259 00:13:24,462 --> 00:13:27,298 Y-Yeah, that's because it's new, but with time... 260 00:13:27,382 --> 00:13:29,884 Time is a luxury you do not have. 261 00:13:30,970 --> 00:13:31,970 _ 262 00:13:34,264 --> 00:13:36,349 Let me just taste your tiramisu. 263 00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:37,850 Looks so good. 264 00:13:37,934 --> 00:13:40,270 Sorry, I don't have an extra spoon. 265 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,313 I don't mind. I'll just use yours. 266 00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,030 Give me the check! 267 00:13:54,826 --> 00:13:56,661 A Costington's store credit card. 268 00:13:56,744 --> 00:13:59,914 Oh, no. Homer, that rewards program is a joke. 269 00:13:59,998 --> 00:14:03,084 But lucky for you, I'm something of a credit card points guru. 270 00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:06,587 I'm gonna get you into a premium platinum card. 271 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:10,049 I-I know you're going to have a little sticker shock at the annual fee, 272 00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:12,593 but you'll forget all about that once you're relaxing 273 00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:17,098 in airport lounges with all the meatballs you can fit on a 4-inch plate. 274 00:14:17,181 --> 00:14:18,891 He's one of those points guys. 275 00:14:18,975 --> 00:14:20,935 I don't want my money to work for me. 276 00:14:21,019 --> 00:14:24,230 So how much would you say you're spending on flights and hotels a month? 277 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,652 Oh, I thought things would be much better 278 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:32,321 now that Patty's moved to Bed Death Valley, 279 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:37,076 but this Merle guy, and I don't say this lightly, is a rough hang. 280 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:43,249 Well, Selma seems happy, and Patty seems like she's thriving in Palm Springfield, 281 00:14:43,332 --> 00:14:46,377 and what's more important than seeming? 282 00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:49,881 Mom, Lisa and I have gotten closer to our aunts over the past couple weeks, 283 00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:52,383 and we don't think they're doing so good. 284 00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,093 But seems. 285 00:14:54,177 --> 00:14:56,471 I think Selma's just pretending to like Merle. 286 00:14:56,554 --> 00:14:59,182 She makes him go to Starbucks to use the bathroom, 287 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,060 and she makes him sleep on the porch of her building. 288 00:15:02,143 --> 00:15:04,145 He's like her outdoor cat. 289 00:15:04,228 --> 00:15:08,566 Yeah, and based on her social media, I don't think Aunt Patty's much better. 290 00:15:11,903 --> 00:15:13,154 Oh. 291 00:15:13,237 --> 00:15:16,949 The superficial fixes didn't go nearly as deep as I hoped. 292 00:15:17,033 --> 00:15:20,787 How can I be happy when my sisters are so sad? 293 00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,497 Don't worry, we have a plan. 294 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:24,624 Patty posted that she's going to a ladies' golf tournament 295 00:15:24,707 --> 00:15:26,125 this weekend in Palm Springfield. 296 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:27,418 They both love golf. 297 00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:29,420 Patty loves how fit the ladies are. 298 00:15:29,504 --> 00:15:31,798 Selma loves how unfit the guys are, 299 00:15:31,881 --> 00:15:35,051 so we parent-trap them into going to the same tournament. 300 00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,803 Then we fix it so they run into each other 301 00:15:36,886 --> 00:15:39,680 and they'll realize all their problems are dumb. 302 00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,891 Oh. The tournament's sold out. 303 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:45,353 The only tickets left are in the Amex VIP lounge. 304 00:15:47,563 --> 00:15:50,691 As someone who's already dead, it kills me to say this. 305 00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:54,904 There is one way into the Amex VIP lounge. 306 00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:56,447 Amex? 307 00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:57,740 No problem. 308 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:01,244 We all sign up for Air Shelbyville credit cards for, 309 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:06,124 you can't believe they're being so dumb, a 100K bonus miles each. 310 00:16:06,207 --> 00:16:08,167 Then we take a short flight to Sioux Falls 311 00:16:08,251 --> 00:16:11,379 which will skyrocket us to the diamond-mile tier, 312 00:16:11,462 --> 00:16:15,383 which we will immediately transfer to Comfort Lodge Discover Plus cards. 313 00:16:15,466 --> 00:16:18,803 After just one night in their guaranteed suites program, 314 00:16:18,886 --> 00:16:22,098 we are earning 5x, 10x, the multiples are insane. 315 00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:25,059 And then we bring it all home by booking a hot air balloon, 316 00:16:25,143 --> 00:16:29,272 prime rib adventure for 20 people and then immediately canceling it. 317 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,858 And that will get Homer to one million points 318 00:16:31,941 --> 00:16:37,613 or tickets to the Subaru Dr. Martens LPGA Tournament, 319 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:41,367 VIP Amex Lounge. 320 00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:43,411 Merle, I gotta give it up to you. 321 00:16:43,494 --> 00:16:45,538 That was a hell of a points heist. 322 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,168 I'm sorry, sir, but it says here you're dead. 323 00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:51,252 That's correct. 324 00:16:51,335 --> 00:16:52,420 Well, we can't let you in. 325 00:16:52,503 --> 00:16:55,423 All your tickets are void because the cardholder is deceased. 326 00:16:55,506 --> 00:16:57,133 Merle, what do we do? 327 00:16:57,216 --> 00:17:00,887 Well, I've run across this issue on a hotel points comment thread, 328 00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:03,973 and I'm afraid you're going to need to be alive again, Homer. 329 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,266 No, no, no. 330 00:17:05,349 --> 00:17:09,103 Now that I've tasted the sweet release of death, I don't want to live. 331 00:17:09,187 --> 00:17:10,855 How much longer do I have? 332 00:17:10,938 --> 00:17:13,107 I'm sorry, but you're out of time. 333 00:17:15,776 --> 00:17:17,111 Please, Homer. 334 00:17:17,195 --> 00:17:19,947 Patty and Selma are my closest family. 335 00:17:20,031 --> 00:17:21,032 I get it. 336 00:17:21,115 --> 00:17:24,744 I also know how hard it's been being a widow with three kids. 337 00:17:24,827 --> 00:17:29,916 Marge, you're the only person in the world I'd be willing to lay down my death for. 338 00:17:30,541 --> 00:17:32,376 Hey, Aunt Selma, quick photo. 339 00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,431 Okay, Bart, you're a go. 340 00:17:46,182 --> 00:17:49,101 - Patty, look. It's Cynthia Nixon. - Hey, Aunt Selma. 341 00:17:49,185 --> 00:17:51,437 You'll get an even better view of Nelly Korda 342 00:17:51,521 --> 00:17:54,065 if you take three big steps backwards. 343 00:17:55,149 --> 00:17:57,068 I assume this was your idea. 344 00:17:57,151 --> 00:18:01,280 Another in your long list of stupid life decisions. 345 00:18:01,364 --> 00:18:02,490 No, it wasn't. 346 00:18:02,573 --> 00:18:06,369 And I wish the triplet we absorbed in the womb was you. 347 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,247 You've always been jealous that I'm the hot one. 348 00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:18,422 It's their secret twin language. 349 00:18:18,506 --> 00:18:21,175 They haven't used it since they were little kids. 350 00:18:21,259 --> 00:18:23,302 What's happening down there in hole one? 351 00:18:23,386 --> 00:18:25,680 It appears two aging spinsters' decades 352 00:18:25,763 --> 00:18:28,641 of repressed conflict has suddenly broken through to the surface. 353 00:18:28,724 --> 00:18:29,725 Yep. 354 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:34,438 Two more casualties of this notoriously difficult Jack Nicklaus-designed par five. 355 00:18:37,108 --> 00:18:39,485 Stop. Stop. Please stop it! 356 00:18:40,027 --> 00:18:43,948 It used to be you two against the world and Homer. 357 00:18:44,031 --> 00:18:50,121 What if this, what you two have, is the one truly great relationship in your life? 358 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:56,335 Patty, do you actually like living here in Palm Springfield? 359 00:18:57,268 --> 00:18:59,255 Okay, fine. 360 00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:00,881 I hate it here. 361 00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:03,718 Who moves to the desert when they're having hot flashes? 362 00:19:03,801 --> 00:19:06,095 And the brunch lines. Oho! 363 00:19:06,865 --> 00:19:09,849 I put my name on the list two days ago. 364 00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:13,728 And, Selma, do you really want to be with Merle? 365 00:19:13,811 --> 00:19:16,606 No, I'm miserable! 366 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:21,569 The sex is fine, but the endless cuddling after is killing me. 367 00:19:21,652 --> 00:19:22,778 I'm a cuddler. 368 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:26,616 Sex to me is foreplay. Cuddling is the main event. 369 00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:30,620 Is it possible we've been twins for our whole lives, 370 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:33,789 but we've never had a real honest conversation? 371 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:37,460 We know twin talk, but we gotta work on our sister talk. 372 00:19:38,586 --> 00:19:39,587 Uh. 373 00:19:39,670 --> 00:19:40,838 I love you. 374 00:19:40,921 --> 00:19:42,298 I love you too. 375 00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,799 We need you back at work. 376 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,635 Wait times are lower than ever, 377 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:48,387 and no one's better than you at catching the dirty words 378 00:19:48,471 --> 00:19:51,140 people try to sneak on their vanity plates. 379 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:52,308 See? 380 00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:57,146 Actually, that one's just Mr. Burns's eighth car. 381 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,482 This is why we need you. 382 00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:02,193 All right, I'll come back to Springfield, 383 00:20:02,276 --> 00:20:05,488 but I think it's time that we each get our own apartment. 384 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:06,572 Mm-hmm. 385 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:14,080 - ♪ Well, it's all right ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 386 00:20:14,163 --> 00:20:15,956 ♪ Riding around in the breeze ♪ 387 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,794 - ♪ Well, it's all right ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 388 00:20:19,877 --> 00:20:22,171 ♪ If you live the life you please ♪ 389 00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,757 - ♪ Well, it's all right ♪ - _ 390 00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:27,843 ♪ Even if the sun don't shine ♪ 391 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:31,263 - ♪ Well, it's all right ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 392 00:20:31,347 --> 00:20:33,599 ♪ We're going to the end of the line ♪ 393 00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:46,119 _ 394 00:21:25,208 --> 00:21:26,209 Shh! 395 00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:32,027 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com