1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,866
CAREY: Good evening, and welcome
to Whose Line Is It Anyway.

2
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:08,371
Tonight on the show,
my other car is Brad Sherwood.

3
00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:11,408
It's 1 1 :00,
do you know where Wayne Brady is?.

4
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,638
If you see him rocking,
don't come a-knocking, Colin Mochrie.

5
00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:17,681
And honk if you're horny, Ryan Stiles.

6
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:21,446
And I'm your host, Drew Carey.
Come on down, Iet's have some fun.

7
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:26,453
CAREY:
Hello.

8
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,283
Hello, hello.

9
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,721
Welcome
to Whose Line Is It Anyway.

10
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:33,866
The show where everything's made up
and the points don't matter.

11
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:37,659
Thank you. If you never--
I never get tired of hearing it either.

12
00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:40,772
If you haven't seen this show,
these guys are gonna come up...

13
00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:43,738
...and make stuff up off the top
of their heads based on suggestions...

14
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:47,778
...from these cards they've never seen
and suggestions from the audience.

15
00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:49,812
At the end of every round I give points.

16
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,281
Who knows why?.
Points don't matter. At the end...

17
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:56,218
...I just pick out whoever I Iike the best
and they get to do something with me.

18
00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:59,250
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

19
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,591
Yeah.

20
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:05,390
When I say do a Iittle something with me,
that's just what I mean.

21
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,930
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

22
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,466
We'II start with a game called
Let's Make a Date.

23
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:13,197
This is for all. Ryan, Colin and Brad
will be contestants on a dating show...

24
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,068
...all hoping to be picked by Wayne.

25
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,574
We've given you each a strange identity.
It's written on these cards.

26
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:22,511
They've never seen these cards before.
And Wayne's gonna question them...

27
00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:25,276
...and try to guess who they are
by the end of the round.

28
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,283
So, Wayne, whenever you're ready...

29
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,183
...off you go.

30
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,281
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

31
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,357
-Bachelor number one.
-Hello.

32
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:38,964
BRADY: I Iove a man
with an effervescent personality.

33
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,657
I Iike a man who Iikes to party
and get his groove on.

34
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,860
What's your favorite dance and why?.

35
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,629
My favorite dance is the samba...

36
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:50,504
...and I can take you to do the samba
in beautiful Puerto Vallarta.

37
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:54,135
You and I will stay for two nights
and two days in Puerto Vallarta...

38
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:58,978
...courtesy of the Shiftwood Inn,
the best place to stay in Puerto Vallarta.

39
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:03,851
The retail value of this package: $2562.

40
00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:05,581
Back to you, gorgeous.

41
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:11,196
Oh, you make me wanna pick door
number two. One for me and one for you.

42
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,000
-Bachelor number two.
-Mmm.

43
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:18,604
BRADY:
Lately, I find myself quite Ionely.

44
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,500
I normally take walks in the park.

45
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:24,165
Where do you Iike to go
when you need some solitude?.

46
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,336
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

47
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,305
[GULPING]

48
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,474
Ah!

49
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,177
So glad to know you, number two.
So glad to know you.

50
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:36,515
Number three.

51
00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:38,418
I Iove classical music.

52
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,889
I Iove classical music
because it helps me be me.

53
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:50,229
What do you enjoy doing
that Iets you be you?.

54
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:54,102
Could you repeat the question?.

55
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,606
Question?.

56
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:58,835
Could you back up?.
Back up?. Back up?.

57
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,104
Back up?.

58
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,441
Back up?.

59
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,606
Ooh!

60
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:10,381
BRADY:
I'II come back to you, number three.

61
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,432
Bachelor number one,
bachelor number one.

62
00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:33,545
If I had a super power, it would be to fly
so I could be caressed by the clouds.

63
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,873
You know what I'm saying?.

64
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,278
But if you had a super power
what would it be?.

65
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:41,944
It would be to wrap you in a beautiful fur
coat from Monkey and Monkey Fur Coats.

66
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:46,854
The finest in furriers since 1 802,
Beverly Hills, California.

67
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:52,293
Retail value of this beautiful
fluffy-cloud fur coat: $1 6,472.

68
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,729
Back to you, gorgeous.

69
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,435
Whoo.

70
00:03:57,604 --> 00:04:02,007
You make me wanna pick a vowel
and it's O.

71
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:05,606
-Bachelor number two.
-Yeah.

72
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,645
What kind of restaurant
would you take me to?.

73
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,555
[STILES CLUCKS]

74
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,003
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

75
00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:36,732
Okay.

76
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,473
Whoo.

77
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,080
Can you guess who they are?.

78
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:45,411
That's a Iot to choose from,
I'm ready to exhale right now.

79
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:47,746
Bachelor number one...

80
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,252
...is a game-show host.

81
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Yes.

82
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Bachelor number two...

83
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...is a circus geek who eats everything.

84
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CAREY:
Well, it says here the--

85
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:06,262
Well, he's a circus geek, but on the show
he's playing the world's biggest glutton.

86
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:07,667
CIose enough.

87
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,609
And bachelor number three.

88
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,074
[STILES GROANS]

89
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,246
-He's a bird
CAREY: Yes.

90
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,406
He's a talking chicken...

91
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:21,246
...who's supposed to be having trouble
Iaying an egg. So, yeah. CIose enough.

92
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,410
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

93
00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:25,250
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

94
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:33,362
Thousand points for Ryan
because I Iove the way you cluck.

95
00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:37,893
Nobody Iays an egg Iike you do, buddy.

96
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:43,535
Let's go to the game Duet.
This is for Brad and Wayne.

97
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,974
With the help of Laura Hall on the piano.
Laura Hall.

98
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:47,544
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

99
00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:52,512
Let's come up to the audience here...

100
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,448
...and find a Iikely candidate.

101
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:57,054
Hi, how are you?. What's your name?.

102
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,315
-What's your name?.
-Dana.

103
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:00,959
Dana, come on.
What do you do for a Iiving, Dana?.

104
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,560
I'm a dental hygienist.

105
00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:06,862
Come here, Dana.

106
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,023
Let's just take a walk, come on.

107
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:15,674
This is Dana, she's a dental hygienist.
Look at that smile.

108
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:21,109
Now, you're gonna sing a song to her
in the style of a '60s R & B song.

109
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,975
So whenever you're ready, take it away.

110
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,980
[SYNTHESIZER PLAYING]

111
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:35,358
[SINGING] Oh, Dana
You're the boss

112
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:38,588
I listen to you every day because I floss

113
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:42,101
Listen, girl
Lovin ' I got to get

114
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:45,829
Why don 't you take me to your love sink
And let me spit

115
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,734
-Dana
-Dana

116
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,033
-Dana
-Dana

117
00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:52,666
-Dana
-Dana, give me some Novocain-a

118
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:55,780
Dana, I think that you got lots of class

119
00:06:55,948 --> 00:07:01,147
I'd like to take you out with a tank
Of laughing gas, oh, Dana

120
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,548
-Dana
-Dana

121
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,747
-Dana
-Dana

122
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,619
I never get my fill, I said

123
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,421
-Dana, Dana
-Dana, oh, Dana

124
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:12,962
Why don 't you open your mouth
Here comes my big drill

125
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:15,225
-Oh, Dana
-Dana, Dana

126
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:16,993
-Dana
-Dana, Dana

127
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,432
Dana, Dana, Dana

128
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:23,772
Dana

129
00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:28,910
CAREY: Thank you, Dana.
BRADY: Thank you, Dana.

130
00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:32,475
CAREY: Let's all have a hand for Dana,
everybody. Dana.

131
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:35,246
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

132
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,748
Man.

133
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:44,228
Two thousand points to Dana.

134
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:50,199
Saw the big drill, didn't even flinch.

135
00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:55,503
Let's go on to a game
called Newsflash.

136
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,734
This is for Ryan, Brad and Colin.

137
00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:00,003
Ryan and Brad are gonna be
two news anchors.

138
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:03,671
Colin is gonna be in the field as a reporter
covering a breaking news story.

139
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,943
Problem is, he's in front
of this green screen.

140
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:09,952
He can't see what's behind him even if he
Iooks at it. It's gonna be green to him.

141
00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:13,956
However, through the magic of television,
we'II see what's behind him.

142
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:16,686
You'II see at home.
And he has to guess what it is.

143
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:19,696
Ryan and Brad, Iet's go over to you guys
and see how it goes.

144
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,731
I just colored it around the ears a bit.

145
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,301
-A Iittle grayish.
-Makes you Iook more dignified.

146
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,836
We interrupt this program
for a news bulletin.

147
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,439
Colin, can you hear us?.

148
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,576
-Colin?.
-Yes.

149
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:37,980
Can you believe this?.

150
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:40,141
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING
AND APPLAUDING]

151
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,378
SHERWOOD:
Colin.

152
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:47,690
Colin, for our viewers at home who might
not be familiar with this goings-on...

153
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:51,660
...could you please be very descriptive
about what you see out there.

154
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:57,297
Well, apparently it all started over some
nude pictures of Dr. Ruth on the Internet.

155
00:08:57,803 --> 00:09:00,328
And from there, this happened.

156
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:03,373
And that and some of this too.

157
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,477
Colin, do you have any favorites there?.

158
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,504
Well, I'm kind of partial to this one.

159
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:15,446
But I haven't actually been
on the scene Iong enough...

160
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:18,055
-...to build up any kind of rapport.
SHERWOOD: Now...

161
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,454
...I don't know much
about your expertise...

162
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,857
...but what do you actually call
those things?.

163
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,828
Well, I call that one Frank...

164
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,792
...and Terry and Jill.

165
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:34,838
Now, pretend I'm a complete idiot,
which isn't very hard...

166
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,532
...if you were gonna call that
by its official name...

167
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:40,508
...its technical name,
what would you call that?.

168
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,752
Well, of course the only technical name
I know is the Latin one...

169
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,581
...which is puccalacus malacus.

170
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,248
Looks Iike more fun than a barrel,
hey, Col?.

171
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,451
It's amazing, and you know what?.

172
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,188
They also do a show.

173
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,491
Every Thursday night.

174
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,759
It's amazing to watch
and the drinks are free.

175
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,163
Is that this--?.

176
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,805
Michael Nesmith
is making an appearance on that show.

177
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:09,441
That's right and the rest of the monkeys
will be right behind.

178
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,406
[BUZZER SOUNDING]

179
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,870
AII right, that was great.

180
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,877
We're gonna go see
a commercial now.

181
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:20,348
We'II have more Whose Line Is It
Anyway. Don't go anywhere.

182
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:28,090
Welcome back
to Whose Line Is It Anyway.

183
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,592
Where everything's made up
and points don't matter.

184
00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,731
During the commercial I got spanked.

185
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,560
I'm sorry you missed it.

186
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:41,903
Let's go to a game called Film, Theater and
Television Styles. Ryan and Wayne.

187
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,069
They're gonna do a scene for you.

188
00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,905
They're gonna start normally.
I'm gonna make them adapt...

189
00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:49,047
...styles of theater,
television or movies.

190
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,376
What I need from the audience
is suggestions...

191
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:54,747
...for different styles,
television styles, movie styles or theater?.

192
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,683
Sci-fi.

193
00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:58,380
Western is good.

194
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,351
Sumo wrestling.

195
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,786
That would count as a kind of a theater.

196
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,091
-And what?. What?. Porno. Okay.
WOMAN: Porno!

197
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,466
[MOUTHING]

198
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:16,441
""Porno,"" said the woman
we'd all Iike to get to know.

199
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:19,274
Anybody else?.
We probably need a couple more.

200
00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,777
Karate, Shakespeare.

201
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,780
Okay, we got plenty to start here.
This will be fine.

202
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,475
You're gonna start normally,
I'II bring in the styles.

203
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:31,419
And the scene is:
Wayne is the Birdman of AIcatraz.

204
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:33,820
-Birdman.
-Birdman of AIcatraz.

205
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:38,089
Ryan is the prison warden who's come to
his cell to tell him to get rid of his birds.

206
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:41,189
So go, start out normal
and I'II bring in the styles in a second.

207
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,028
[COOING AND CAWING]

208
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,295
Polly want a cracker. Daddy Ioves you.

209
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:46,961
[IMITATES GUN COCKING]

210
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,904
[IMITATES GUNSHOTS]

211
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,671
Run. Run.

212
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,378
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

213
00:11:58,317 --> 00:11:59,545
CAREY:
Western.

214
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,516
You done shot my bird.

215
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:03,279
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

216
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,818
That bird is the one who shot my pa.

217
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,089
Your pa was the one who ate my bird.

218
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:16,333
Look, they were no-good,
Iow-Iiver-Iying birds.

219
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,499
I'm Ietting you out.

220
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,434
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

221
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,572
CAREY:
Shakespeare.

222
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:26,701
Oh, the sunlight 'tis that fall upon me
making me darker than I am now.

223
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:34,777
If you were a man who is away from bars
you would be free.

224
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,118
For I shall never be free.

225
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:40,258
For to fly upon the winds
a bird doth fly.

226
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,452
But the bird cannot fly
for the buckshot in his behind.

227
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,054
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

228
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,797
CAREY:
Sumo wrestling.

229
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:54,605
[MAKING JIGGLING NOISES]

230
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,848
[SPEAKS IN MOCK FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

231
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,991
[BOTH GRUNTING]

232
00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:22,633
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

233
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:27,361
CAREY:
Porno.

234
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,531
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND LAUGHING]

235
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:38,049
Have a seat. Ding-dong! Oh, pizza.

236
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:41,311
[BOTH IMITATING PORNO MUSIC]

237
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,922
-I'm gonna slip into something comfortable.
-AII right.

238
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,358
I dumped oil all over myself.

239
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:52,554
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

240
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,523
Okay, thank you very much.

241
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,470
I'd Iike to give a million points to our
audience. Such a nice audience.

242
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,008
Million points for the audience.

243
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,668
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

244
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,474
[MOUTHS]
What?

245
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,818
Ryan, it's okay. The points don't matter.

246
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,475
[MOUTHS]

247
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,855
Let's go on to a game that I Iove to play,
it's called Telethon.

248
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,752
We don't see this often, Telethon.

249
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:22,325
Colin and Ryan are gonna be
the hosts of a telethon.

250
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:24,894
Brad and Wayne will come on
as the chorus of celebrities...

251
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,498
...doing the telethon ""help us"" song.

252
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:29,531
With the help of Laura Hall
on the piano.

253
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,999
Laura Hall.

254
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,468
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

255
00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:37,239
What we need from the audience
is a suggestion of a group of people...

256
00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:39,809
-...you would not try to raise money for.
MAN 1 : Spice Girls.

257
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:43,244
MAN 2: NBA players.
-NBA players.

258
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,787
Gosh, my heart bleeds for them. Okay.

259
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,356
Raising money
for professional basketball players.

260
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:55,425
Whenever you're ready,
start the telethon.

261
00:14:55,594 --> 00:15:01,032
Hello. Welcome back to hour six of
the professional-basketball-players telethon.

262
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,397
That's right, we've been up
for six straight hours.

263
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,561
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

264
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:11,568
Let's just go check the tote board.

265
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,873
Three hundred and eighty-six million dollars,
Iadies and gentlemen?.

266
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:19,176
-How can they Iive on that?.
-Come on.

267
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,657
I see two phones that are not busy
right now.

268
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:29,555
Let's get those phones ringing.

269
00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:33,755
Let's Iet a man eat a decent meal.

270
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,864
In a five-star restaurant...

271
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:39,061
...preferably a casino
with Iots of showgirls.

272
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,263
Because to entertain you...

273
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,874
...they need entertainment.

274
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:45,943
People.

275
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:50,681
-Come on.
-Colin, a Iittle fact here. I'm not sure.

276
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:55,377
Do you know what it costs
to make one size-18 shoe?.

277
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,886
-No. No, Ryan.
-Three hundred and fifty dollars.

278
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,457
That's for one shoe,
Iadies and gentlemen. One shoe.

279
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:04,392
-One shoe.
-Most of these players wear two.

280
00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:09,530
Help them out. Give them a chance.
Give them a chance at Iife.

281
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,933
Rodman needs more tattoos.

282
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:15,364
You were
a professional basketball player.

283
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,975
I was, for about a week.

284
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:22,711
I could not make a Iiving
on what they paid.

285
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,846
I had to get out.
But a Iot of men are stuck in that job.

286
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,986
-That's right.
-They have families to feed.

287
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:32,613
Some of these guys have
three or four wives that they have to keep.

288
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,619
MOCHRIE:
That's right.

289
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,454
-We're not the only ones worried.
-We're not.

290
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:42,191
We have assembled
a great group of talented individuals--

291
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:43,926
I don't know how we got them all.

292
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,367
It's amazing. And they're here...

293
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:50,338
...to sing a song that speaks out
to each and every one of you.

294
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,841
-Get the phones ringing.
-Keep the phones ringing.

295
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,742
Let's bring out this talent right now.
PIease, a big hand.

296
00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:58,474
[PIANO PLAYING
AND AUDIENCE CHEERING]

297
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,525
[IMITATING BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN]
Well, I don't think that my life

298
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,026
Will ever be the same

299
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:16,896
Because I can no longer watch
An NBA game

300
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:20,037
[IMITATING AARON NEVILLE]
My life sunk

301
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,730
Can 't watch them slam dunk

302
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:27,641
And it just won 't ever be the same

303
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,639
[IMITATING WILLIE NELSON]
I wish those boys

304
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:33,444
Could take it to the hoop

305
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:39,421
But every time they get there
There's a legal loop

306
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:44,659
[IMITATING MICHAEL JACKSON]
All that gear I'd be sporting

307
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:49,233
No longer can I watch Michael Jordan

308
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,834
[YELLS]

309
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:56,873
[IMITATING BOB DYLAN] So come on
And give these hoops a chance

310
00:17:57,042 --> 00:18:00,034
-Give these hoops a chance
-Come on, reach into your pockets

311
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:03,238
-Put your hands and give them a chance
-Right in your pants

312
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:06,707
[IMITATING STEVIE WONDER]
You've got to put your hands together

313
00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:09,479
I want to thank you, Lord

314
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:15,355
And for all of these 60 NBA teams
That play basketball

315
00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:17,358
[IMITATING FRED SCHNEIDER]
And if you wanna see

316
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:20,692
The love Shaq, baby, play here in L.A.

317
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:25,098
You better hurry on down
And give your money away

318
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:26,430
Give them a chance.

319
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,697
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

320
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:29,135
Give them a chance.

321
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,466
Hey, Iisten.
We're gonna go see a commercial.

322
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:35,010
We'II find out who the winner is
and they get to do something with me.

323
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:38,479
So don't go away,
more Whose Line right after this.

324
00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:47,048
Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway.
Tonight's winner, Wayne Brady.

325
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:50,195
-Wayne Brady is the winner tonight.
-Thank you.

326
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:56,259
Fabulous come-from-behind victory.
And because he's the winner...

327
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,871
...he gets to sit and the rest of us are
gonna be punished by doing a hoedown.

328
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:02,905
Laura Hall on the piano.
Laura Hall, everybody.

329
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,337
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

330
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,446
What we need from the audience,
we need a suggestion of a major Iife event.

331
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:12,709
WOMAN:
Menopause.

332
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:18,585
Menopause. How about a major Iife event
that men can relate to?.

333
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:21,449
Going bald.

334
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:24,956
Sounds great.

335
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,425
Going bald. So, Laura Hall,
whenever you're ready...

336
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,831
...Iet's hear the ""Going Bald Hoedown.""

337
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:43,269
[SINGING] I am losing my hair
And it really is a pain

338
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,008
I find out every morning
When I see the shower drain

339
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,516
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING]

340
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,780
But as you can see
It isn 't quite for me

341
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:55,484
But at least I'm not quite as bald
As Colin Mochrie

342
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:05,460
Oh, man, took my rhyme.

343
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,637
I was gonna do that.

344
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:17,775
I have all my hair
And I really am quite happy

345
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:21,545
I like putting stuff in my hair
It makes me look real snappy

346
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,212
I love to comb my hair
I never need a breather

347
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:29,451
I'm real happy
I'm not Colin Mochrie either

348
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:44,166
People always kid me
Because I'm losing all my hair

349
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:47,779
I can 't really help it
That I'm follicly impaired

350
00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:51,677
It really is quite horrible
But my life is not through

351
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:56,082
I still get way more sex
Than either Brad or Drew

352
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,890
Losing all your hair
Isn 't really that bad of a deal

353
00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:14,903
A lot of women love
Just the way it feels

354
00:21:15,073 --> 00:21:18,736
Just think of it as
Just a little more face

355
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:22,346
And you can rent it out
As advertising space

356
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:27,383
ALL:
As advertising space

357
00:21:27,552 --> 00:21:30,146
Good night. Thanks for watching
Whose Line Is It Anyway.

358
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:31,914
See you next time. Goodbye.

359
00:22:01,186 --> 00:22:03,177
[ENGLISH SDH]