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-Good
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-Good evening,
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-Good evening, everybody,
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and welcome
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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On tonight's show...
"Field of Dreams," Wayne Brady,
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"The Revenant," Greg Proops,
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"Million Dollar Baby,"
Colin Mochrie,
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and "Mighty Ducks 2"...
it's Ryan Stiles.
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And I'm Aisha Tyler.
Let's make some stuff up!
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Hey, everybody.
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Hello and welcome
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"...
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The show where everything
is made up
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and the points don't matter.
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We've got a great show
for you tonight,
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so let's get started
with a game entitle "Questions."
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This is for all four
of our performers, in two pairs.
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Come on down.
Greg and Ryan will be there.
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Colin and Wayne will be here.
Grab your hats and wigs.
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Now, the way that
this game works is that
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Wayne and Greg
will begin a scene,
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but they can only speak
in questions.
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I'll buzz when someone
makes a mistake,
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and then the person behind them
has to step in
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and take their place.
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However, each time they come in,
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they have to assume
a different character
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according to the wig
or hat that they're wearing.
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The scene you'll be acting out
is entitled
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"Passions Erupt
at an Office Christmas Party."
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- Would you like me
to probe your inner space?
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-UFO?
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-Fresh.
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-What do you look like?
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-Would you like to touch me?
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- Would you like
to make some bacon?
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-Would you like to pork?
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-Oh!
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Where's all the chicks?
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-Do you his...
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-Do you know you look like hell?
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-Who has summoned Satan?
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- If you could see your eyes
right now, you'd freak out.
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- Not a question.
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-So what's new?
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-What's new with you?!
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-How come you look so bad?
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- Isn't it apparent to you,
I'm on Via-a-a-gra!
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- Morgan Freeman!
Would you sign this?
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How did you know me?
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- Why are you here
at the office party?
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- I-I-I... Well, it's...
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Take your pen. Take your pen.
Take the pen, too.
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- Thank you.
Space work. That's what we do.
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-Yes.
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- Oy!
Is it hot in here or is it me?
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-Are you schvitzing?
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-Am I?
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- Want to play
with some snowballs?
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- Aren't you in
the wrong country?
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Well, does it look like to you
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that I'm on the correct country?
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- Is that an accent,
or are you having a stroke?
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-Aren't you the sly...
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Okay.
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-Welcome back the lovely
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and talented Mr. Greg Proops,
everybody.
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-Greg Proops!
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-Fresh out of the pen.
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- Yes. Still got his suit he had
when they took him in.
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- Oh, yeah. It's the one
I wore to my hearing.
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- And I defended him.
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- Our game is entitled
"Film Dub."
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This game is for all four
of you lovely gentlemen.
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Come on down.
Take a look at the screen.
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The way this works is that
we took an old piece of film.
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We removed all the dialogue.
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And now Ryan, Colin,
Greg, and Wayne
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are gonna revoice the clip
using their imaginations.
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And the scene I'd like to you
to improvise, gentlemen,
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is entitled
"Arguing Over Dinner."
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Take a look.
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- Oh, my God.
I've got so much to do.
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I've got so much.
I've got to set the table.
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I've got to get the roast
out of the oven.
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Help me, Cynthia. Help me.
I can't get it all done.
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- Oh, come on.
It's only potatoes.
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And they're frozen anyway.
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Here, I'll go in the kitchen
and do it.
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- I would like s... Mm.
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Here, madam.
The potatoes... are gone.
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Sorry.
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- The potatoes are
the main part of my dish.
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Oh, what am I going to do
without the potatoes?
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-I'll call.
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-Hello. Potato Shack.
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Can I help you? -Yes.
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Is your refrigerator running?
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Maybe you should catch it!
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-I would love some potatoes.
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-You see, it's a play on words.
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Your refrigerator
isn't actually running.
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- You know
what's gonna be running
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when I come over there
and beat your ass.
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-Oh! Well, that's simply not on.
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- Oh, this...
It is a total disaster!
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- Oh, stop. Stop this.
I'm getting a drink!
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- Oh! Why would I ever take on
a potato dinner like this?
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I'm so above my base here.
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-We're out of vodka!
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-Potato Shack. -Potato Shack.
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You'd better eat 'em all
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or I'm gonna come over
and beat your ass!
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We're going to come to a game
now entitled "Scene the Music."
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This game is for Ryan,
Colin, and Wayne.
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So come this way!
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The way this game works
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is that you three are gonna
act out a scene.
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We're gonna start normally
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and then we're gonna supply
some music for you.
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And then you'll act according
to whatever the music is
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that starts playing
when it comes on.
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The scene that you'll be acting
out is that Ryan and Colin,
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you're two teens shoplifting
in a supermarket when, suddenly,
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store detective Wayne
catches you red-handed.
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Remember, at some point,
some music will come in
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and you'll act according
to the music that you hear.
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Take it away.
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What's it look like?
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- It's all clear.
It's all clear.
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-There's a camera over here.
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I'm just gonna cover up the
camera
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while you put the chocolate bars
in your pants.
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- All right. -
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Got 'em. I got them all.
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-We're ready to go? -Yeah!
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- I want to get a lighter
so we can start a fire later.
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-Oh! -Oh.
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-Oh. Hello.
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-Hi.
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- You boys
come into my... my store.
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I saw you.
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I gave you a chance to... to not
do what you're about to do.
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But the thing is
about expectations...
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Somebody always
doesn't meet them.
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- What... What you think,
we're here for your amusement?
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- Yeah. You think that?
- You think that?
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- What, we make you laugh?
- Yeah. No, no, no, we're not.
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- What, we're funny?
We're gonna make you laugh?
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Is that what you're saying?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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-I got a lighter!
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-Listen, fellas.
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I think you may want to put down
the stuff that you've got,
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or else the gig is up
and we're outta here.
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You're eatin' the merchandise!
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- Yeah, that's right!
You have no evidence now.
156
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- Look, I'm...
I'm sorry if we took things.
157
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My... The power's been cut off
at home, and I took the lighter
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so I could warm my baby brothers
and my mother.
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-I'm so sorry. I...
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- I've broken every bone
in my body twice.
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I'm just standing
through gumption.
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My God. I have an erection.
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-Not just any erection!
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That's the b... Ow! -Sorry.
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-Turn that... Listen.
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-Thank God for cargo pants.
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- You two, you take that,
and you go out into the world
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and you show them what for.
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- There's nothing we can't do
with an erection like that.
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- There's nothing you can't
do, gentlemen.
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Nothing. Just point toward
the North Star.
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Godspeed.
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-All right. Don't move.
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There's more "Whose Line"
after these messages.
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Stay tuned.
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- Welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
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We're gonna play a game now
entitled "Sound Effects."
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This game is for Ryan and Colin,
so come on down.
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We're also gonna need
the help of two volunteers
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from our audience,
so let's find them now!
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Who are they?
182
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Who are they? Who are they?
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Hey, hi. What's your name?
- Craig.
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-Craig! Head up on the stage!
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Who else, who else, who else?
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Hi!
187
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Hi. What's your name? -Meera.
188
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-Come with me, Meera.
189
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Meera!
190
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Follow me, Meera.
191
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:04,409
All right. Here we go.
192
00:09:04,442 --> 00:09:06,546
The way this game works
is that Ryan and Colin
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00:09:06,578 --> 00:09:07,947
are gonna perform a scene.
194
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,423
Craig and Meera are gonna
provide the sound effects,
195
00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:10,982
but only when prompted to do so.
196
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:12,793
Craig, you'll do the sounds
for Colin.
197
00:09:12,817 --> 00:09:14,897
And, Meera, you're gonna do
the sounds for Ryan.
198
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,254
And here's the scene.
199
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:19,792
Ryan and Colin are Marines
whose motorboat runs aground
200
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:23,229
on a mysterious island full
of weird and dangerous animals.
201
00:09:23,261 --> 00:09:25,730
Okay? Whenever you're ready,
take it away.
202
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:28,500
- I suggest we should set out
for our nautical maneuverers.
203
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:30,445
- Yep. Let's go in the motorboat.
- All righty. Step in.
204
00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:32,648
- Boy, budget cuts have really
screwed up the Marines a little,
205
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:33,673
haven't they?
206
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,607
- It'll be hard to land
a plane on this.
207
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,152
- All right.
Let me just start our motor.
208
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,477
-Pshhh! -Oh!
209
00:09:39,511 --> 00:09:41,188
Are you all right? Are you okay?
210
00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:43,282
-Someone shot at me! -Oh, no!
211
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,927
Get on this side. What the hell?
212
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:47,019
The maneuverers
have already started.
213
00:09:47,052 --> 00:09:49,621
Here we are. Step foot on land.
214
00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:51,490
Ah.
215
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,558
Let me, uh, let me get
the machine gun out.
216
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:54,860
-Pt-chh!
217
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:57,897
- Oh. Here's the shotgun.
There's the shotgun.
218
00:09:57,929 --> 00:10:01,232
Let me get the machine gun now.
Careful. It's already cocked.
219
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,668
- All right.
220
00:10:02,701 --> 00:10:04,570
Just in case we get in trouble,
221
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,048
I'm gonna test out
my machine gun.
222
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:07,249
Step back. -All right.
223
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,808
- Pk-chh-chh-chh.
224
00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:11,543
-Got water in it. -Yeah.
225
00:10:11,576 --> 00:10:13,254
- Let me see if my shotgun's
any better.
226
00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:14,279
I wouldn't do that.
227
00:10:14,312 --> 00:10:15,280
-What? -Wouldn't do that.
228
00:10:15,313 --> 00:10:17,115
- What's the worst
that could happen?
229
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:18,451
-Well, let me see if I can...
230
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:19,552
-Pop.
231
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,754
- Oh!
232
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,990
-I'll just pick up the cork.
233
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:25,991
- All right.
234
00:10:26,024 --> 00:10:29,128
Wait! Do you hear that?
235
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,395
-What?
236
00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:32,106
- An odd music
coming from in the trees.
237
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,432
-Nope. Don't hear it.
238
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,134
- No. Listen.
239
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:38,104
It's very faint,
but listen closely.
240
00:10:38,136 --> 00:10:39,313
-H... -No. Don't hear it.
241
00:10:39,337 --> 00:10:41,407
-Be quiet. It's...
242
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,243
You were right. Sorry.
243
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,221
Thought I'd give it
a second chance.
244
00:10:47,245 --> 00:10:49,091
- Hey, do we know anything
about this island at all?
245
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,548
-I don't think so.
246
00:10:50,582 --> 00:10:52,884
Wait. I've got
an instructional video in here
247
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,720
that'll tell us
all about the island.
248
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:57,590
- You brought a Blu-ray with you?
- Yeah.
249
00:10:57,623 --> 00:10:59,167
This will tell us
all about the island.
250
00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:00,393
-All right.
251
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,227
-Beware of tigers.
252
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:04,129
- Beware of tigers?!
253
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:06,399
That's good to know!
254
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:07,466
That's good to know.
255
00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:11,437
My God. Look!
256
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,315
That's the biggest tiger
I've ever seen.
257
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,075
- Meow.
258
00:11:16,107 --> 00:11:17,909
-Don't trust him. -I don't know.
259
00:11:17,942 --> 00:11:19,577
Seems kind of sexy. -No.
260
00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:23,014
-Wait! Now I hear that music.
261
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:26,595
- See? You hear it that time?
- I did!
262
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:29,688
It must be putting a musical
to appease the tiger!
263
00:11:29,721 --> 00:11:32,258
- We'd better head into the
jungle and see what's going on.
264
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:34,101
I've got my machine gun.
- I'm just gonna to radio back
265
00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,604
and say we're going to
investigate it more.
266
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,797
-Pssh-shh, p-shh, wha-wha-wha...
267
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,999
-Hey, anyone there? -No.
268
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,332
- Okay.
269
00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:43,436
-We're good? -Yeah.
270
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,904
Screwed.
271
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:51,110
- Thank you.
- Craig and Meera, everybody!
272
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:52,845
Craig and Meera!
273
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,746
Thank you, guys.
274
00:11:54,779 --> 00:11:57,783
Thank you.
Craig and Meera, everybody.
275
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,202
- You didn't say
what kind of music.
276
00:12:08,226 --> 00:12:10,929
-Tribal, apparently.
277
00:12:10,962 --> 00:12:13,599
- They were shooting
"La La Land 2" in that jungle.
278
00:12:13,631 --> 00:12:18,671
Next up is a game entitled
"Scenes From a Hat."
279
00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:21,440
This game is for all four
of our performers.
280
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,342
Ryan and Colin are there.
Greg and Wayne are here.
281
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,787
Before our show,
we asked our audience
282
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,755
to write down some scenes
they'd like to see acted out
283
00:12:27,779 --> 00:12:28,856
by our gentlemen performers.
284
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,225
I've got those suggestions
in this hat.
285
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,417
I'm gonna read them out.
286
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:32,961
We'll see what our performers
come up with.
287
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,253
Here we go.
288
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:37,255
What the cast of "Sesame Street"
does
289
00:12:37,288 --> 00:12:39,792
when the cameras stop rolling.
290
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:45,498
- "Near, far. Near, far."
291
00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:48,000
Who writes this crap?
292
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:54,639
-"W" is for "Whiskey."
293
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,019
Oh.
294
00:13:09,687 --> 00:13:12,557
I'm here to give a Ted Talk
295
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:14,793
on positivity
and an optimistic outlook.
296
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:18,931
My life has been changed
by the power of "yes."
297
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:25,638
-If celebrities were doctors.
298
00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:29,975
Now... cough.
299
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:36,081
-That was pretty good. -Yeah?
300
00:13:41,553 --> 00:13:44,523
I'm your doctor for the day.
301
00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:49,203
I'll be doing the surgery
on you,
302
00:13:49,227 --> 00:13:51,462
but all you've got to do
is drink this.
303
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:04,610
No. That's my childhood hero.
304
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,654
- Little...
I'm a little squeamish.
305
00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:09,024
If you don't mind, if you could
perform the operation yourself
306
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,491
and I'll...
I'll just sit over here
307
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:13,384
and collect the insurance money.
308
00:14:13,418 --> 00:14:16,855
Woody Allen,
uh, has been an enduring star...
309
00:14:20,491 --> 00:14:24,363
I like to say who I'm doing.
It cuts down on the chit-chat.
310
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:30,469
I give you six weeks.
311
00:14:34,072 --> 00:14:36,442
-Inept criminals.
312
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:50,688
- Catchphrases that will never
catch on.
313
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,860
-Not just smart. Trump smart.
314
00:14:58,563 --> 00:15:00,666
-Yes. -Don't go anywhere.
315
00:15:00,698 --> 00:15:02,844
We'll be right back with more
"Whose Line is it Anyway?"
316
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:03,836
right after this.
317
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:05,037
Stay tuned.
318
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,076
- Welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
319
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:14,413
We're gonna play a game now
entitled "Greatest Hits."
320
00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:16,291
This is a game for Colin,
Greg, and Wayne,
321
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:17,482
with the help of Laura Hall
322
00:15:17,515 --> 00:15:19,652
and Linda Taylor on piano
and guitar.
323
00:15:19,684 --> 00:15:22,388
Come on down, boys.
Here's how this game works.
324
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,599
Greg and Colin are two
television voice-over performers
325
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,725
talking about
the latest compilation album.
326
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,161
Wayne's gonna sing snippets
of the songs on that album,
327
00:15:29,193 --> 00:15:32,264
so what I need from the audience
is a suggestion of a place
328
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,774
or a thing you would do
on vacation.
329
00:15:33,798 --> 00:15:36,268
What's a thing you would do
if you were going on vacation?
330
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,212
Give me your best shot, guys!
331
00:15:38,236 --> 00:15:41,807
Nice! Oh, man.
You guys are on fire.
332
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,985
A lot of great suggestions,
but I'm gonna go with safari.
333
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:47,913
So, the name of this album is
entitled "Songs of the Safari."
334
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,682
- Hey, you ever been on safari?
- Have I? No.
335
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:51,750
-Me neither.
336
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:53,260
Why don't we sell songs
about it?
337
00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:54,562
- All right.
338
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,788
- You know, what I love
about our CD collections
339
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,923
is we celebrate
every style of music.
340
00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:00,658
-You're right there.
341
00:16:00,692 --> 00:16:02,995
- Thanks.
342
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:04,596
But one of my favorite styles...
343
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:06,341
And it's just come out
recently...
344
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:07,908
I think you know
what I'm talking about.
345
00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:10,601
-Mm. -Rhythm and booze.
346
00:16:10,635 --> 00:16:12,471
-Wow! -Yeah.
347
00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:16,207
It's a new kind of, um, style...
348
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:20,346
where the singer gets
really drunk
349
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:23,916
and then sings a song
in a rhythmy-blues style.
350
00:16:23,948 --> 00:16:26,485
- Did you say rhythm and booze?
- You heard me.
351
00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:28,419
Rhythm and booze!
352
00:16:30,121 --> 00:16:34,158
So sit back and enjoy
this great song, "Africa Hot."
353
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:36,888
Whoo!
354
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,262
Mm.
355
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,234
Hot.
356
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:58,777
- You know, uh, one of
Elvis Presley's big movie hits
357
00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:02,280
was, um, uh, "Surfing Surf."
358
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:04,750
-I love that.
359
00:18:04,782 --> 00:18:06,593
That was the sequel
to "Rock House Rock."
360
00:18:06,617 --> 00:18:08,295
- Yeah, and it took place
in Africa.
361
00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:09,587
-Really? -Oh, yeah.
362
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:12,324
- Uh, and one of the big,
big, big songs
363
00:18:12,356 --> 00:18:16,028
from, uh, that great movie...
catch it if you can...
364
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:19,030
"Pith Helmet in Khakis."
365
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,535
All right, Mama.
366
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:41,153
Stop and start over again.
367
00:18:41,185 --> 00:18:43,489
I was gonna say something
so filthy.
368
00:18:45,022 --> 00:18:46,434
-No, no, no. -Not on this show.
369
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,458
-No. Let's go.
370
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,086
Nature's snackies.
371
00:19:51,656 --> 00:19:54,326
- Hey, find out who won our show
after this short break.
372
00:19:54,358 --> 00:19:56,894
There's more "Whose Line"
right after this.
373
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,136
- Welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
374
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,014
That's our show. Tonight,
all four of you won today,
375
00:20:07,038 --> 00:20:08,550
so I'd like you
to read out the credits
376
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:12,277
as if you're all horror-movie
monsters attacking the camera.
377
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,987
Thanks for watching everybody.
Good night.
378
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,364
-Boo.
379
00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:42,641
-Whaaa! Whaaa!
380
00:20:42,673 --> 00:20:45,277
Whaaa!
381
00:20:45,309 --> 00:20:49,248
>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org