-Good
-Good evening,
-Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show... "Field of Dreams," Wayne Brady,
"The Revenant," Greg Proops,
"Million Dollar Baby," Colin Mochrie,
and "Mighty Ducks 2"... it's Ryan Stiles.
And I'm Aisha Tyler. Let's make some stuff up!
Hey, everybody.
Hello and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"...
The show where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
We've got a great show for you tonight,
so let's get started with a game entitle "Questions."
This is for all four of our performers, in two pairs.
Come on down. Greg and Ryan will be there.
Colin and Wayne will be here. Grab your hats and wigs.
Now, the way that this game works is that
Wayne and Greg will begin a scene,
but they can only speak in questions.
I'll buzz when someone makes a mistake,
and then the person behind them has to step in
and take their place.
However, each time they come in,
they have to assume a different character
according to the wig or hat that they're wearing.
The scene you'll be acting out is entitled
"Passions Erupt at an Office Christmas Party."
- Would you like me to probe your inner space?
-UFO?
-Fresh.
-What do you look like?
-Would you like to touch me?
- Would you like to make some bacon?
-Would you like to pork?
-Oh!
Where's all the chicks?
-Do you his...
-Do you know you look like hell?
-Who has summoned Satan?
- If you could see your eyes right now, you'd freak out.
- Not a question.
-So what's new?
-What's new with you?!
-How come you look so bad?
- Isn't it apparent to you, I'm on Via-a-a-gra!
- Morgan Freeman! Would you sign this?
How did you know me?
- Why are you here at the office party?
- I-I-I... Well, it's...
Take your pen. Take your pen. Take the pen, too.
- Thank you. Space work. That's what we do.
-Yes.
- Oy! Is it hot in here or is it me?
-Are you schvitzing?
-Am I?
- Want to play with some snowballs?
- Aren't you in the wrong country?
Well, does it look like to you
that I'm on the correct country?
- Is that an accent, or are you having a stroke?
-Aren't you the sly...
Okay.
-Welcome back the lovely
and talented Mr. Greg Proops, everybody.
-Greg Proops!
-Fresh out of the pen.
- Yes. Still got his suit he had when they took him in.
- Oh, yeah. It's the one I wore to my hearing.
- And I defended him.
- Our game is entitled "Film Dub."
This game is for all four of you lovely gentlemen.
Come on down. Take a look at the screen.
The way this works is that we took an old piece of film.
We removed all the dialogue.
And now Ryan, Colin, Greg, and Wayne
are gonna revoice the clip using their imaginations.
And the scene I'd like to you to improvise, gentlemen,
is entitled "Arguing Over Dinner."
Take a look.
- Oh, my God. I've got so much to do.
I've got so much. I've got to set the table.
I've got to get the roast out of the oven.
Help me, Cynthia. Help me. I can't get it all done.
- Oh, come on. It's only potatoes.
And they're frozen anyway.
Here, I'll go in the kitchen and do it.
- I would like s... Mm.
Here, madam. The potatoes... are gone.
Sorry.
- The potatoes are the main part of my dish.
Oh, what am I going to do without the potatoes?
-I'll call.
-Hello. Potato Shack.
Can I help you? -Yes.
Is your refrigerator running?
Maybe you should catch it!
-I would love some potatoes.
-You see, it's a play on words.
Your refrigerator isn't actually running.
- You know what's gonna be running
when I come over there and beat your ass.
-Oh! Well, that's simply not on.
- Oh, this... It is a total disaster!
- Oh, stop. Stop this. I'm getting a drink!
- Oh! Why would I ever take on a potato dinner like this?
I'm so above my base here.
-We're out of vodka!
-Potato Shack. -Potato Shack.
You'd better eat 'em all
or I'm gonna come over and beat your ass!
We're going to come to a game now entitled "Scene the Music."
This game is for Ryan, Colin, and Wayne.
So come this way!
The way this game works
is that you three are gonna act out a scene.
We're gonna start normally
and then we're gonna supply some music for you.
And then you'll act according to whatever the music is
that starts playing when it comes on.
The scene that you'll be acting out is that Ryan and Colin,
you're two teens shoplifting in a supermarket when, suddenly,
store detective Wayne catches you red-handed.
Remember, at some point, some music will come in
and you'll act according to the music that you hear.
Take it away.
What's it look like?
- It's all clear. It's all clear.
-There's a camera over here.
I'm just gonna cover up the camera
while you put the chocolate bars in your pants.
- All right. -
Got 'em. I got them all.
-We're ready to go? -Yeah!
- I want to get a lighter so we can start a fire later.
-Oh! -Oh.
-Oh. Hello.
-Hi.
- You boys come into my... my store.
I saw you.
I gave you a chance to... to not do what you're about to do.
But the thing is about expectations...
Somebody always doesn't meet them.
- What... What you think, we're here for your amusement?
- Yeah. You think that? - You think that?
- What, we make you laugh? - Yeah. No, no, no, we're not.
- What, we're funny? We're gonna make you laugh?
Is that what you're saying? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I got a lighter!
-Listen, fellas.
I think you may want to put down the stuff that you've got,
or else the gig is up and we're outta here.
You're eatin' the merchandise!
- Yeah, that's right! You have no evidence now.
- Look, I'm... I'm sorry if we took things.
My... The power's been cut off at home, and I took the lighter
so I could warm my baby brothers and my mother.
-I'm so sorry. I...
- I've broken every bone in my body twice.
I'm just standing through gumption.
My God. I have an erection.
-Not just any erection!
That's the b... Ow! -Sorry.
-Turn that... Listen.
-Thank God for cargo pants.
- You two, you take that, and you go out into the world
and you show them what for.
- There's nothing we can't do with an erection like that.
- There's nothing you can't do, gentlemen.
Nothing. Just point toward the North Star.
Godspeed.
-All right. Don't move.
There's more "Whose Line" after these messages.
Stay tuned.
- Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
We're gonna play a game now entitled "Sound Effects."
This game is for Ryan and Colin, so come on down.
We're also gonna need the help of two volunteers
from our audience, so let's find them now!
Who are they?
Who are they? Who are they?
Hey, hi. What's your name? - Craig.
-Craig! Head up on the stage!
Who else, who else, who else?
Hi!
Hi. What's your name? -Meera.
-Come with me, Meera.
Meera!
Follow me, Meera.
All right. Here we go.
The way this game works is that Ryan and Colin
are gonna perform a scene.
Craig and Meera are gonna provide the sound effects,
but only when prompted to do so.
Craig, you'll do the sounds for Colin.
And, Meera, you're gonna do the sounds for Ryan.
And here's the scene.
Ryan and Colin are Marines whose motorboat runs aground
on a mysterious island full of weird and dangerous animals.
Okay? Whenever you're ready, take it away.
- I suggest we should set out for our nautical maneuverers.
- Yep. Let's go in the motorboat. - All righty. Step in.
- Boy, budget cuts have really screwed up the Marines a little,
haven't they?
- It'll be hard to land a plane on this.
- All right. Let me just start our motor.
-Pshhh! -Oh!
Are you all right? Are you okay?
-Someone shot at me! -Oh, no!
Get on this side. What the hell?
The maneuverers have already started.
Here we are. Step foot on land.
Ah.
Let me, uh, let me get the machine gun out.
-Pt-chh!
- Oh. Here's the shotgun. There's the shotgun.
Let me get the machine gun now. Careful. It's already cocked.
- All right.
Just in case we get in trouble,
I'm gonna test out my machine gun.
Step back. -All right.
- Pk-chh-chh-chh.
-Got water in it. -Yeah.
- Let me see if my shotgun's any better.
I wouldn't do that.
-What? -Wouldn't do that.
- What's the worst that could happen?
-Well, let me see if I can...
-Pop.
- Oh!
-I'll just pick up the cork.
- All right.
Wait! Do you hear that?
-What?
- An odd music coming from in the trees.
-Nope. Don't hear it.
- No. Listen.
It's very faint, but listen closely.
-H... -No. Don't hear it.
-Be quiet. It's...
You were right. Sorry.
Thought I'd give it a second chance.
- Hey, do we know anything about this island at all?
-I don't think so.
Wait. I've got an instructional video in here
that'll tell us all about the island.
- You brought a Blu-ray with you? - Yeah.
This will tell us all about the island.
-All right.
-Beware of tigers.
- Beware of tigers?!
That's good to know!
That's good to know.
My God. Look!
That's the biggest tiger I've ever seen.
- Meow.
-Don't trust him. -I don't know.
Seems kind of sexy. -No.
-Wait! Now I hear that music.
- See? You hear it that time? - I did!
It must be putting a musical to appease the tiger!
- We'd better head into the jungle and see what's going on.
I've got my machine gun. - I'm just gonna to radio back
and say we're going to investigate it more.
-Pssh-shh, p-shh, wha-wha-wha...
-Hey, anyone there? -No.
- Okay.
-We're good? -Yeah.
Screwed.
- Thank you. - Craig and Meera, everybody!
Craig and Meera!
Thank you, guys.
Thank you. Craig and Meera, everybody.
- You didn't say what kind of music.
-Tribal, apparently.
- They were shooting "La La Land 2" in that jungle.
Next up is a game entitled "Scenes From a Hat."
This game is for all four of our performers.
Ryan and Colin are there. Greg and Wayne are here.
Before our show, we asked our audience
to write down some scenes they'd like to see acted out
by our gentlemen performers.
I've got those suggestions in this hat.
I'm gonna read them out.
We'll see what our performers come up with.
Here we go.
What the cast of "Sesame Street" does
when the cameras stop rolling.
- "Near, far. Near, far."
Who writes this crap?
-"W" is for "Whiskey."
Oh.
I'm here to give a Ted Talk
on positivity and an optimistic outlook.
My life has been changed by the power of "yes."
-If celebrities were doctors.
Now... cough.
-That was pretty good. -Yeah?
I'm your doctor for the day.
I'll be doing the surgery on you,
but all you've got to do is drink this.
No. That's my childhood hero.
- Little... I'm a little squeamish.
If you don't mind, if you could perform the operation yourself
and I'll... I'll just sit over here
and collect the insurance money.
Woody Allen, uh, has been an enduring star...
I like to say who I'm doing. It cuts down on the chit-chat.
I give you six weeks.
-Inept criminals.
- Catchphrases that will never catch on.
-Not just smart. Trump smart.
-Yes. -Don't go anywhere.
We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
right after this.
Stay tuned.
- Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
We're gonna play a game now entitled "Greatest Hits."
This is a game for Colin, Greg, and Wayne,
with the help of Laura Hall
and Linda Taylor on piano and guitar.
Come on down, boys. Here's how this game works.
Greg and Colin are two television voice-over performers
talking about the latest compilation album.
Wayne's gonna sing snippets of the songs on that album,
so what I need from the audience is a suggestion of a place
or a thing you would do on vacation.
What's a thing you would do if you were going on vacation?
Give me your best shot, guys!
Nice! Oh, man. You guys are on fire.
A lot of great suggestions, but I'm gonna go with safari.
So, the name of this album is entitled "Songs of the Safari."
- Hey, you ever been on safari? - Have I? No.
-Me neither.
Why don't we sell songs about it?
- All right.
- You know, what I love about our CD collections
is we celebrate every style of music.
-You're right there.
- Thanks.
But one of my favorite styles...
And it's just come out recently...
I think you know what I'm talking about.
-Mm. -Rhythm and booze.
-Wow! -Yeah.
It's a new kind of, um, style...
where the singer gets really drunk
and then sings a song in a rhythmy-blues style.
- Did you say rhythm and booze? - You heard me.
Rhythm and booze!
So sit back and enjoy this great song, "Africa Hot."
Whoo!
Mm.
Hot.
- You know, uh, one of Elvis Presley's big movie hits
was, um, uh, "Surfing Surf."
-I love that.
That was the sequel to "Rock House Rock."
- Yeah, and it took place in Africa.
-Really? -Oh, yeah.
- Uh, and one of the big, big, big songs
from, uh, that great movie... catch it if you can...
"Pith Helmet in Khakis."
All right, Mama.
Stop and start over again.
I was gonna say something so filthy.
-No, no, no. -Not on this show.
-No. Let's go.
Nature's snackies.
- Hey, find out who won our show after this short break.
There's more "Whose Line" right after this.
- Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
That's our show. Tonight, all four of you won today,
so I'd like you to read out the credits
as if you're all horror-movie monsters attacking the camera.
Thanks for watching everybody. Good night.
-Boo.
-Whaaa! Whaaa!
Whaaa!
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