1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:04,300
Good evening, and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

2
00:00:04,301 --> 00:00:08,201
Tonight's
performers: The man with the dirty last name - Greg Proops!

3
00:00:08,302 --> 00:00:10,802
He's what's for
dinner - Wayne Brady!

4
00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:13,603
The handsomest man in Canada - Colin Mochrie!

5
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And his
son - Ryan Stiles!

6
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And I'm your host, Drew Carey! Welcome to "Whose Line"!
Come on, let's have some fun!

7
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Thank you!

8
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And welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

9
00:00:31,508 --> 00:00:35,008
the show where
everything's made up and the points don't matter.

10
00:00:35,009 --> 00:00:38,009
Uh, how the show works is,

11
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uh, during the show we're
gonna ask our performers to come up and they're gonna totally make up in
front of you,

12
00:00:42,011 --> 00:00:45,711
ah, scenes based on suggestions that we give them and the
audience gives them.

13
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They've never seen, uh, any of the material before,
they don't know what's gonna happen to them.

14
00:00:49,213 --> 00:00:53,513
It'll be really fun. And then I
award the points, based on my whimsy, and,

15
00:00:53,514 --> 00:00:57,514
uh, the points don't matter,
'cause at the end of the show I just pick the guy I like the best,

16
00:00:57,515 --> 00:01:01,415
and he
wins, and then we get to do a scene together at the end of the show.

17
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So
let's get things started! Are you ready to see the first game?

18
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The first game we're gonna do, is called "Let's Make A Date".

19
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This
is for all four of you.

20
00:01:11,119 --> 00:01:17,819
Ryan, Colin and Wayne, you're going to be
contestants on a dating-type show hoping to be picked by Greg, who is lonely
and desperate.

21
00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:23,620
And, ah, ha-ha, each of them has been given a strange
characteristic or ability.

22
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I'd like to remind you they haven't seen these
before; this is the first time they're having a look at them.

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Oh, they're
very happy.

24
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Greg's gonna question them about the,

25
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uh, chances of getting a
date, and then, uh, try to guess who they are at the end of the, uh, game.

26
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All right? Any time you're ready.

27
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Contestant Number One. Hi!

28
00:01:39,427 --> 00:01:41,827
Hello, girl! Ha, ha, ha!
("Old blues player")

29
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You're a... you're a jolly sort.

30
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That's cause I don't let things get to me.

31
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Sometimes they might get
to me, but they don't get to me.

32
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Wow. Well, Number One, I love holidays.

33
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If I was a turkey, what would
you stuff me with?

34
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Aw, girl, that's pretty simple.

35
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I'd stuff you with
croutons. Da-da-na-na.

36
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I'd stuff you with salt. Da-da-na-na. I'd stuff
you...

37
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Number Two! Hi!

38
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Hi!
("An excitable dog")

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You... y... nice lil'... hi. Are you OK?

40
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Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

41
00:02:25,140 --> 00:02:26,340
All right...ok...

42
00:02:44,141 --> 00:02:45,641
Number Three, hi!

43
00:02:46,742 --> 00:02:47,842
Hello, it's nice to be here.
("Auctioneer")

44
00:02:47,843 --> 00:02:48,443
Hi.

45
00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:49,044
Hello, hello.

46
00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:49,745
Hi, how are you?

47
00:02:49,746 --> 00:02:50,546
Fine, thank you very much.

48
00:02:50,547 --> 00:02:56,747
Good. Listen, yo quiero lovin'. Hey, where would you take me for a
romantic evening?

49
00:02:56,748 --> 00:03:00,348
Ah, I suppose we'd go to a movie, maybe dinner after that, dinner,
uh, mashed potatoes, uh, gravy, uh,

50
00:03:00,349 --> 00:03:04,949
I, uh, I guarantee you'll have a great
night, I'd have you home by 10, I hear 11, I hear 12! Uh, I don't know...

51
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Thank you! Uh, Number One.

52
00:03:13,751 --> 00:03:14,751
Yeah girl, ha ha ha...

53
00:03:17,152 --> 00:03:20,252
I'm a late sleeper. What's it like for you when you first get
up in the morning?

54
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I think to myself, I feelin' low,

55
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and I need some lovin' to get me
up.

56
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And I stretch, and I stretch, and I think about you,

57
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'cause
there ain't no secret to what you can do! Ha, ha!

58
00:03:32,657 --> 00:03:39,057
I love ya! Oh yeah! I love
ya! I swear! I love ya! Oh yeah!

59
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I'm growing fond of you as well. Number Two.

60
00:03:48,859 --> 00:03:49,559
Huh, yeah, yeah, what?

61
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,160
I like to keep in shape, and I like to run around in the park.

62
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Me! Yeah, yeah!

63
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what do you do to.. to keep in shape?

64
00:03:56,163 --> 00:03:59,263
Same thing! Throw me the ball! Throw the, throw the ball! Throw the
ball!

65
00:04:08,564 --> 00:04:09,264
Number Three.

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00:04:09,265 --> 00:04:11,565
Hellooo, hello.

67
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Hi. I like to go to those discount restaurants, 'cause it's cheaper.
How much would you spend on a dinner?

68
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:19,067
Oh, I couldn't say, I'd probably spend 5 dollars, 10 dollars, maybe
20 dollars,

69
00:04:19,068 --> 00:04:22,468
I just wanna impress ya, I wanna impress ya, ah, as much as I
can, I wanna sleep with you once...

70
00:04:22,469 --> 00:04:25,169
I wanna sleep with you twice, and sold!

71
00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:33,570
Uh, Pookie, would you like to guess?

72
00:04:33,771 --> 00:04:37,371
All right Drew. Uh, I think Number One's a blues singer?

73
00:04:37,372 --> 00:04:38,372
Old blues singer, right.

74
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,773
Number Two is a spotted jackal from the Serengeti Plain.

75
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He's a, he's a dog!

76
00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,475
Yeah, an excitable dog, yes. A horny dog.

77
00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:55,676
And Number Three is extremely hyper. I think he's a, uh,
uh, an auctioneer of some kind.

78
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Yes.

79
00:05:01,978 --> 00:05:04,778
That was great. Ah,
50 points to Colin for sticking his tongue out so much.

80
00:05:07,079 --> 00:05:09,479
Uh, now we come to a
game called "Sound Effects".

81
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Uh, this is for Colin and Ryan.

82
00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:12,481
Colin, you're
gonna improvise a scene,

83
00:05:12,482 --> 00:05:16,482
and you'll have to respond to sound effects made by
Ryan. Here's your microphone, Ryan.

84
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,483
Thank you.

85
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:23,284
And, uh, your scene is, you're an ambulance driver on your first
emergency call.

86
00:05:23,285 --> 00:05:26,485
An ambulance driver on his first emergency call. Take it
away.

87
00:07:48,086 --> 00:07:51,886
All that energy, all that thought. That was brilliant. Unfortunately,
that was a non-scoring round.

88
00:07:55,087 --> 00:07:58,087
Awfully sorry. Uh, now we go on to a game called "Hats".

89
00:07:58,088 --> 00:08:01,388
This is for
all four of you. Colin and Ryan, come get the first box of hats here right
in front,

90
00:08:01,389 --> 00:08:03,689
and, uh, Greg and Wayne, you're gonna use the other box of hats.

91
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,790
And, uh, this is a rapid-fire game,

92
00:08:05,891 --> 00:08:08,491
and uh, each of you has to, as fast as
possible,

93
00:08:08,492 --> 00:08:12,192
come up with as many examples of the world's worst dating service
video.

94
00:08:12,193 --> 00:08:13,893
The world's worst dating service video.

95
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:16,694
Colin and Ryan, you're gonna
start.

96
00:08:20,695 --> 00:08:22,395
I may TASTE like butter...

97
00:08:28,396 --> 00:08:32,496
I like to take things as they come, and I'm all for
letting our love grow.

98
00:08:44,297 --> 00:08:46,497
Just use your imagination.

99
00:08:53,798 --> 00:08:56,598
I hope you don't mind sand in
everything.

100
00:08:59,999 --> 00:09:02,899
I'd like to ask you out, all I need is a little
courage.

101
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,600
I'm just one flame looking for another!

102
00:09:15,901 --> 00:09:19,501
I'll be the best date you ever had! And that's no
"croc"!

103
00:09:23,102 --> 00:09:26,702
Uh, hi. I've been trapped on a desert island
for the past seven years,

104
00:09:26,703 --> 00:09:30,803
with a movie star and a professor, and I need it.

105
00:09:35,804 --> 00:09:39,304
I'd like to take you out for a few drinks, but...
I'm a minor.

106
00:09:45,605 --> 00:09:47,805
I am predicting a lot of booty
tonight!

107
00:09:52,806 --> 00:09:54,106
Come on, I'm horny!

108
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,907
Dat's great! They call me Black Angus!

109
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:13,508
I see great things in the future for us. I know!
I've got crystal balls!

110
00:10:20,109 --> 00:10:22,009
Mobuto like virgins!

111
00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:26,010
Thank you very much!

112
00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:30,011
We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it
Anyway?" right after this! Don't go away!

113
00:10:34,912 --> 00:10:39,512
Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?", the show where everything
is made up and the points don't matter.

114
00:10:40,913 --> 00:10:43,713
Uh, I don't know how many points to
award because during the commercial I was taking off my pants.

115
00:10:45,614 --> 00:10:48,914
That's right. OK, now we go on to
a game called "Greatest Hits".

116
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:52,615
This is for Colin, Ryan, and Wayne, with the
help of Laura Hall on the keyboards. Laura Hall.

117
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,216
We just found her outside
before the show. Can you believe it?

118
00:10:58,217 --> 00:11:01,217
Uh, Colin and Ryan are, uh, TV
voice-over people,

119
00:11:01,218 --> 00:11:03,518
and you're gonna be talking about the latest compilation
album,

120
00:11:03,519 --> 00:11:05,019
and Wayne, you're gonna sing snippets of the songs.

121
00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:06,920
What we need from
the audience is the, uh,

122
00:11:06,921 --> 00:11:09,321
uh, a kind of profession you wouldn't normally sing
songs about...

123
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:16,222
 Uh... Okay, I heard a lot of... I heard a lot of
"accounting".

124
00:11:17,223 --> 00:11:19,623
Don't know how you're gonna do it, but good luck.

125
00:11:19,624 --> 00:11:22,524
Uh, the name
of your album is "Songs of Accounting".

126
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,325
Hi! Sorry to interrupt.

127
00:11:25,326 --> 00:11:28,926
We'll be back to the 24-hour Drew Carey
Network in just a moment.

128
00:11:28,927 --> 00:11:31,727
But first we've got a special offer for you.

129
00:11:31,728 --> 00:11:34,028
You know, many people thing accountants are boring.

130
00:11:34,029 --> 00:11:34,929
Isn't it?

131
00:11:34,930 --> 00:11:36,030
They are!

132
00:11:36,031 --> 00:11:38,831
But out of great boredom comes great songs,

133
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:43,632
and we've come up with a
twenty-five-thousand-hour CD

134
00:11:43,633 --> 00:11:45,233
filled with songs of accounting!

135
00:11:45,234 --> 00:11:48,134
That's right, we have, Colin. Many different songs.

136
00:11:48,135 --> 00:11:53,535
Who for - could
forget that disco favorite, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E I-R-S"?

137
00:12:00,936 --> 00:12:05,836
Get out! Get out!

138
00:12:05,837 --> 00:12:08,737
Listen to me, here's a fact you will believe!

139
00:12:08,838 --> 00:12:12,338
You cheated on me, now I want your ass to leave!

140
00:12:12,739 --> 00:12:16,539
That's right, none of this is funny!

141
00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:19,540
Just pack your bags, and give me all your money!

142
00:12:19,541 --> 00:12:26,541
I said, D-I-V-O-R-C-E I-R-Ssss, yeah,

143
00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:35,342
I said, D-I-V-O-R-C-E I-R-Ssss!

144
00:12:42,243 --> 00:12:47,243
For me, that brings back memories of big pants and shoes with fish in
the heels.

145
00:12:47,444 --> 00:12:49,444
Enough about yesterday!

146
00:12:50,445 --> 00:12:52,345
Every song a hit, every hit a smack!

147
00:12:52,346 --> 00:12:53,346
But you
know what?

148
00:12:55,247 --> 00:12:57,447
- I even have a song on this album! Remember that?
- You do not!

149
00:12:57,548 --> 00:12:58,948
But we don't have time to listen to it!

150
00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:02,949
What we do have time to
listen to is that great song from the swing era, 

151
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,550
"Your Love has Bankrupted
Me."

152
00:13:11,851 --> 00:13:15,951
Because I would bet seven,

153
00:13:16,952 --> 00:13:21,152
Hoping that your love would take me all the way to Heaven.

154
00:13:21,953 --> 00:13:24,853
But I guess when you gamble you've got no luck.

155
00:13:24,854 --> 00:13:27,454
Your love has left me bankrupt.

156
00:13:27,455 --> 00:13:30,455
Oh, chap-ter eleven's of the hot what I got it's hot,

157
00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:32,956
Chap-ter eleven's of the hot what I got.

158
00:13:32,957 --> 00:13:36,057
Oh, you got you, I got me, ain't got nobody, see,

159
00:13:36,058 --> 00:13:38,058
'Cause chapter eleven's what I am.

160
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:41,859
Because your love has left me bankrupt!

161
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:43,860
Why dontcha get out of here? Oh yeah!

162
00:13:50,261 --> 00:13:51,261
Hey, Colin!

163
00:13:51,262 --> 00:13:52,262
What Ryan?

164
00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:54,663
How much would you pay for a 2-CD set like this?

165
00:13:54,664 --> 00:13:56,564
Oh, I don't know... 39 dollars?

166
00:13:58,765 --> 00:14:01,165
Unfortunately, it's $69.95!

167
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:07,166
But, I was talking 39 dollars in a foreign currency which doesn't...
quite...

168
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:08,967
Add up to more than that!

169
00:14:09,968 --> 00:14:12,068
All because the hits keep on coming!

170
00:14:12,069 --> 00:14:15,669
Who could ever forget that early
Rock and Roll favorite, "Deduct This"?

171
00:14:20,370 --> 00:14:21,970
Whoo!

172
00:14:22,771 --> 00:14:24,771
Here's something I know you see!

173
00:14:24,772 --> 00:14:27,372
You better better save all your receipts!

174
00:14:27,373 --> 00:14:28,673
Because you better save 'em,

175
00:14:28,674 --> 00:14:31,974
Because you'll do the best! Whoo!

176
00:14:31,975 --> 00:14:34,475
Because if you don't, you save your receipts,

177
00:14:34,476 --> 00:14:37,176
An act they can't deduct, you better believe me!

178
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:41,077
Because, IRS, deduct this! Whooo!

179
00:14:42,078 --> 00:14:44,178
Deduct! You're screwed!

180
00:14:44,179 --> 00:14:46,379
Don't save 'em, now you're sued!

181
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:51,080
Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah, oh yeah! Whoo!

182
00:14:51,381 --> 00:14:54,481
Baby, you better deduct this!

183
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:07,782
Man! Normally I'd give Wayne all the points,

184
00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:10,483
but something about the
way Greg was tappin' his toes.

185
00:15:13,884 --> 00:15:16,884
That's right, baby, see me in my trailer after the show.

186
00:15:17,685 --> 00:15:19,185
Now we're gonna play a game called "Party Quirks".

187
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,786
This is for Greg,
you're gonna be hosting a party,

188
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,587
and Wayne, Colin, and Ryan, you're gonna be
the guests.

189
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,588
Each of you has a strange quirk or identity that's written in
these envelopes.

190
00:15:25,589 --> 00:15:30,089
This is the first time they've ever seen them, and, uh,
what Greg has to do is guess...

191
00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:32,090
what the quirks are.

192
00:15:33,491 --> 00:15:34,991
Ah, so Greg, why don't
you come over and start the party?

193
00:15:34,992 --> 00:15:38,192
Wayne, Colin and Ryan, you line up over
there, and I'll buzz you in with the doorbell here?

194
00:15:38,193 --> 00:15:40,093
And whenever you're
ready, Greg, start the party.

195
00:15:40,094 --> 00:15:44,194
Yeah. It's a Spice Girls party. Since they're missing one, I'm the
new one, Specky Spice.

196
00:15:47,595 --> 00:15:48,495
There's the bell!

197
00:15:48,996 --> 00:15:50,396
Hello, Wayne!

198
00:15:50,397 --> 00:15:51,397
("In a slow motion fight scene")

199
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,898
Can I get you a corn chip or somethin'?

200
00:16:09,099 --> 00:16:11,399
Hey, you just relax over there.

201
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,600
Hi, Colin.

202
00:16:13,601 --> 00:16:15,401
Hi. How are ya?

203
00:16:25,702 --> 00:16:29,102
Have you met Wayne? He's... fighting a series of bad guys in slow
motion.

204
00:16:29,103 --> 00:16:31,003
He... thinks he's in a movie.

205
00:16:32,004 --> 00:16:33,004
Very good.

206
00:16:35,905 --> 00:16:37,205
Colin, can I get you a drink?

207
00:16:41,206 --> 00:16:41,906
Hello.

208
00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:43,107
Hey, Greg, that's OK.

209
00:16:43,108 --> 00:16:44,308
- Hello, Ryan.
- Hey, Greg, how... huh... 

210
00:17:26,009 --> 00:17:28,909
 I guess a game of Twister is out of the question at this point.

211
00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:31,610
Colin, have you... uh... Ryan, have you met Colin?

212
00:17:31,611 --> 00:17:34,411
He's a... he's a trapeze
artist... he's a high-wire act in the circus...

213
00:17:34,412 --> 00:17:39,112
he, uh, he thinks he's in
the circus... he's a very unsuccessful circus...

214
00:17:40,113 --> 00:17:41,213
That's right.

215
00:17:41,214 --> 00:17:41,814
Is what he is.

216
00:17:41,815 --> 00:17:43,415
Accident prone circus performer.

217
00:17:44,416 --> 00:17:47,116
And who wants their bottle? Who wants their bottle?

218
00:17:47,117 --> 00:17:50,917
Who was just born and is a bizarre dog-like creature?

219
00:17:53,818 --> 00:17:55,618
A foal.

220
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:01,119
All the points I have left go to Ryan for sticking your face there.

221
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,120
I
couldn't have done that.

222
00:18:05,921 --> 00:18:07,921
 Ryan "anything for a laugh" Stiles.

223
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,422
Remember... That's how I got the job on that other show, remember?

224
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:12,423
That's right... sshhh!

225
00:18:16,024 --> 00:18:16,524
All right, hey!

226
00:18:16,525 --> 00:18:20,425
Stay tuned, when we come back
we'll find out who the winner is, they'll play a little improv game with me,

227
00:18:20,426 --> 00:18:23,326
and... watch these commercials. Stay tuned for more "Whose Line is it
Anyway?"

228
00:18:27,327 --> 00:18:28,927
Hey, welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

229
00:18:28,928 --> 00:18:30,728
Tonight's winner,
Wayne Brady! Wayne Brady!

230
00:18:31,929 --> 00:18:32,529
Our big winner tonight.

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00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:38,430
Wayne and I are gonna
improvise a scene called, uh, Foreign Film Dub.

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00:18:38,431 --> 00:18:40,531
 What's gonna happen is, you
guys are gonna suggest a foreign language,

233
00:18:40,532 --> 00:18:44,832
 we're gonna fake it, and, uh,
Ryan and Greg are gonna interpret for us,

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and, uh, Colin's just gonna sit
there? Look busy?

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00:18:47,534 --> 00:18:51,734
And, uh, let's have the name of a language you'd like to... 

236
00:18:54,035 --> 00:18:57,935
What'd
you say? Farsi? Farsi.

237
00:18:58,436 --> 00:18:59,236
'Scuse me?

238
00:18:59,237 --> 00:18:59,837
Farsi.

239
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:00,438
Okay.

240
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:01,939
They speak it in, er, in Iran.

241
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:02,540
Oh.

242
00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:05,041
We need the name of a film title...

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00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:09,542
"Banished on the Breezes".
"Banished on the Breezes" in Farsi.

244
00:19:09,543 --> 00:19:12,243
And, uh, you're gonna
interpret for me, and, uh, you're gonna interpret for Wayne.

245
00:19:12,244 --> 00:19:14,244
OK,
ready? "Banished on the Breezes".

246
00:19:15,745 --> 00:19:22,245
Ach bai, mahama hai, mahama Mahama hama hai!

247
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:26,746
Huh. Everything is gone. The breeze has caught and blown things away.

248
00:19:27,647 --> 00:19:32,647
Ai-lalalalalalalah!

249
00:19:32,748 --> 00:19:34,348
I think my camel is dead.

250
00:19:37,849 --> 00:19:42,349
Oob-booley li l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l chik-chik-chiwa.

251
00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:47,450
Our village! It is gone! And all you can do is just stand there and
go, "l-l-l-l-l-l-l"?

252
00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:51,351
Ach-vevach-avah.

253
00:19:53,752 --> 00:19:55,352
Ohh, we're going to miss "Baywatch"!

254
00:20:00,053 --> 00:20:05,353
Do-do-do-do kabach-aido-hayyyyy...ayyyy!

255
00:20:07,654 --> 00:20:11,754
I have constructed a television set using these tin cans and a hand
drill that managed to stay.

256
00:20:12,555 --> 00:20:18,355
Auwa, aoowa, kabuki!

257
00:20:18,356 --> 00:20:21,156
Many years ago, I worked in a club.

258
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,857
I cannot say what type.

259
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,558
Yet, I am
ashamed.

260
00:20:28,659 --> 00:20:31,459
Oop. Towtldllesit.

261
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,760
I remember your dancing. You went by the name of "Chhhhhh".

262
00:20:39,761 --> 00:20:41,161
Here is a
scneif-nyick.

263
00:20:41,162 --> 00:20:43,962
It is the traditional money that I give to the dancer who
pleases me so well.

264
00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:46,663
Now dance! Clap, clap.

265
00:21:02,464 --> 00:21:04,764
Hey, thank you very much! We're out of time.

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Thank you for watching
"Whose Line is it Anyway?" We'll see you again soon! Goodnight!