Blow Her Mind

His Illustrated Guide to Orgasmic Oral Sex So Good She'll Tell her Friends About It! Master Advanced Cunnilingus Tonight

Melinda Holmes

Atlanta, Georgia USA

All Rights Reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted for resale or use by any party other than the individual purchaser who is the sole authorized user of this information. Purchaser is authorized to use any of the information in this publication for his or her own use only. All other reproduction or transmission, or any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any informational storage or retrieval system, is prohibited without express written permission from the author.

This book is for sale to ADULT AUDICENCES ONLY. It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers. please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.

Copyright © 2012 Melinda Holmes

Words from Our Readers

"I didn't intend to buy this guide, but my friends convinced me to do it, and in the end I did not regret it since it's taught me a lot about the human body and the female sexuality."

Amanda C. Geno, Texas

"I'm so happy that times have changed so much that books like this one can be produced. Knowing your body is very important and this useful guide tells you everything about it and its secret cravings."

Patricia T. McMillan, Buffalo

"Before reading this book I thought there was something wrong with my body since I couldn't enjoy the same amount of pleasure that my friends did when it came to sex. Now I know that I did nothing wrong and I have this book to thank for it."

Anna R. Dye, Scranton

Thank you for downloading my book. Please REVIEW this book on Amazon. I need your feedback to make the next version better. Thank you so much!

Books by Melinda Holmes

Blow Her Mind

50 Shades of Better Sex

Blow His Mind

www.amazon.com/author/melindaholmes

Why You Should Read This Book

A lot of relationships fail for the simple reason that the partners are not happy in bed. In most of the cases the unhappy party is the woman, since the men are easy to please, but at the same time seem unable to return the favor. One of the reasons that that happens is that they don’t really know what to do to offer pleasure to their partner. They go through the motions thinking that they are doing a fine job, but the truth is they doing anything but. No wonder that so many women have to fake an orgasm.

I’ve decided to write this book to help women in particular, and couples in general, overstep this obstacle. In this comprehensive guide you’ll find everything you need to know about the female body, about the sensual being that thirsts to be pleased. You’ll also discover more than a few suggestions about how to lead a healthy sex life, problems that can arise and the solutions, techniques that can help bring about the desired results and much more. If there’s one thing that you’ll take away after reading this book is that old adage: "Where there’s a will, there’s a way". Yes, there is...

Table of Contents

- Words from Our Readers

- Why You Should Read This Book

- Forward and Author’s Profile

- Uncovering The Mysteries of Cunnilingus

- Pleasure from the Mastery of Cunnilingus

- The Female Orgasm – Give Her More than Just One!

- The Vulva – An Anatomical Pleasure Chest

- The Mons Pubis

- The Front Commissure

- The Clitoral Shaft

- The Clitoral Hood

- The Clitoris

- The Frenulum

- The Labia Minora and Labia Majora

- The Vaginal Opening

- The Fourchette

- The Perineum

- Female Erogenous Zones

- Hair

- Neck

- Ears

- Lips

- Breasts

- Arms

- Stomach

- Along the Spine

- Bottom

- Vulva

- Legs

- Feet

- Inside the body - G-Spot

- Preparation

- Hair

- Shaving

- Waxing

- Laser Hair Removal

- Depilatory Creams

- The Male Partner and His Hair

- Earning Your Red Wings – Yes or No?

- Being Careful About Oral

- Women Are NOT Balloons

- Keeping Things Clean and Fresh

- Hygiene products

- Do It Right And Make Her Ask For It

- Men and Women are Just NOT the Same

- How to Proceed Successfully After Preliminaries are Done

- Women are Men at Half Speed

- Techniques

- Foreplay

- The Flutter of Angel Wings

- The Snake Charmer

- The Venus Butterfly

- Passion Sauvage

- Sadie Hawkins’ Revenge

- Love Letters

- Ascend Into Heaven

- Nosy, Nosy, Nosy

- Lip Locking the Nanny

- The Insolent Tongue

- Tempest in a Teapot

- Spiraling Into Pleasure

- Sucking it Up!

- Whirlpool of Desire

- The Cool Breeze

- Additional Techniques

- Hand Use in Cunnilingus

- The G-Spot

- Toys

- Variety and Positions

- Traditional

- The Cliff’s Edge

- Soixante-Neuf

- Taking Her From the Rear

- SOMF

- Kneeling

- Soaring Through the Azure

- Dominatrix

- The Doctor is IN

- Circus Tent

- Warnings and Common Problems

- Dry Vagina

- Vaginal Farts

- Women CAN Fake It

- Inability to Orgasm

- Sexually Traumatized Partner

- Conclusion

- One Last Thing...

Disclaimer

While all attempts have been made to provide effective, verifiable information in this Book, neither the Author nor Publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, or omissions. Any slights of people or organizations are unintentional.

This Book is not a source of medical information, and it should not be regarded as such. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering a medical service. As with any medical advice, the reader is strongly encouraged to seek professional medical advice before taking action.

Forward and Author’s Profile

I decided to write this guide, when several of my girlfriends complained that the men they met had no real idea of how to please them. "They bang and bang into me – and it is pleasant - but that fat cock by itself isn’t going to bring me off. Why don’t they know what we like? Don’t they know mouths are made for more than just kissing?"

Sometimes I’m slow to follow up on suggestions, but this one was urgent – because I’d been noticing the same thing: "When they’re in a threesome, with me and another girl, they get it, and pretty fast, and everyone has a good time. They watch one of us, and figure out how to lick just right. But when they’re one on one...I just don’t know."

It became apparent that there needed to be a really good guide to cunnilingus written, and fast!

As an erotic fiction writer – I’ve been writing for the last 13 years, since I graduated from a small, primarily female Catholic college in California – I’ve developed a lot of relationships with people who are professionally involved with satisfying people’s lusts. The adult film industry has perhaps the most experienced and beautiful fuckers on the face of the Earth. I thought, why not conduct an investigation into their experiences and preferences, along with the requisite ‘real science’ physiological study, and share it with you?

My personal experiences count for something, too. I’ve had fun with a lot of other women – a woman really does know what another woman likes. But I’ve had just as much fun and pleasure with boyfriends of all ages, and from all walks of life, not to mention in threesomes, some MFF and some MFM. I like being the center of attention in those parties!

"Baby, you’ve got the sweetest little body," Susanne said. "I want to kiss every little part of you, taste your sweet, creamy honey, inhale your hot, musky fragrance, caress the softness of your skin with my lips, nuzzle your ears...share my breath with you..."

In that quote from a girlfriend, you can find what makes men and women different in their approach to sex and even love. The men who come to understand what that secret is are the ones who consistently satisfy their women – whether bathroom fucks in a bar while pushed up against a wall, one-night stands in ‘no-tell motels,’ hook ups in the back of an SUV, or even marriages of thirty years or more, in a queen-sized bed that’s sagging from ten years of constant pounding.

By satisfying their women, they’re guaranteeing their own pleasure. You don’t have to be a Latin scholar to understand what quid pro quo means. "You scratch my back, and I’ll..."

I was a relatively naive liberal arts grad, with a freshly minted, but worthless, Bachelor of Arts degree in an arcane field – but with a desire to write. Susanne, the blonde, LA traffic cop who had pulled me over for a broken tail light, and later that night pulled my panties down to show me the pleasures there between my legs, and who subsequently initiated me into all the delights of girl on girl lovemaking, was for many years my muse, and guided me into my current profession.

I want to share the things that make me cum when I’m naked in bed with a man, or two men, or a man and another woman, and we’re doing unspeakably hot things to each other. Or the things that two women do together in the fragrant beauty of a Sapphic relationship, so different from men. But most of all, I want to reveal to you the one, special secret thing that men and women do that drives me wild – and most importantly for this guide, drives all other women wild!

Join me as we stroll through the secrets of the lovemaking of men and women who know how to cum, and how to make their female partners cum endlessly through cunnilingus. I guarantee that you’ll learn some of the best ways to please a woman, drive her wild with desire, and make her yours!

Dedicated to Susanne, for opening the door, and to Sam, who really, REALLY gets it.

Uncovering The Mysteries of Cunnilingus

There are a couple of questions that I never stop hearing from men just starting to become interested in actually pleasing their lovers instead of just themselves: "Just what is cunnilingus? And what’s in it for me? Or, for her?"

Well, everybody’s favorite Internet resource says:

Cunnilingus is an oral sex act performed on a female. It involves the use by a sex partner of the mouth, lips, and tongue to stimulate the female’s clitoris, vulva, or vagina. The clitoris is the most sexually sensitive erogenous zone for most women, the stimulation of which may result in the production of erotic sensations or sexual excitement. A female may receive cunnilingus as part of foreplay to produce sexual arousal. Sufficient oral clitoral stimulation can result in an orgasm.- Wikipedia

But to the woman receiving cunnilingus, referred to in Victorian times as "tipping the velvet," and more commonly today as "licking pussy", "carpet munching", and "muff-diving," it is far more than just a clinical description. The fact is, according to one study, that only sixty-eight percent of married women enjoy intercourse (the man’s cock penetrating her pussy), with the women experiencing an orgasm only twenty-five percent of the time. Doing the math, that means that fucking a woman may result in her having an unforgettable experience only seventeen percent of the time!

Think about that – all the time, money and effort that a man puts into meeting, dating, bedding (or even marrying!) a woman is wasted if, not only is she not going to cum and experience the mind-bending pleasure of a female orgasm, but she’s going to have to lie there while she gets pounded into by her lover, and then lie to him – "Oh, yes, it was wonderful," she says, then slips off to the bathroom to jill off (masturbate) when he falls asleep. No wonder women often look wistfully for a better lover.

On the other hand, in that same study, eighty-two percent of the women revealed that cunnilingus is the most enjoyable sexual act for them. And those women orgasmed eighty-one percent of the time. That means that licking a woman’s pussy correctly can result in her orgasm an overall sixty-six percent of the time!

"Oh god...oh god...oh, shit...yessss." That’s got to be a more rewarding thing for a man to hear – I know I like hearing a woman moaning uncontrollably with lust...

Which do you think that a woman prefers, in terms of her own satisfaction – fucking alone, or cunnilingus followed by fucking? Which do you think will result in her being happier, and giving you what you want?

If you’ve ever watched straight adult videos (and who hasn’t?) you may have noticed that the majority of action shows a woman sucking a guy’s dick, and him fucking her, usually in her pussy.

Q: So, doesn’t that mean that adult film stars find blowjobs and fucking to be the most appealing way to have sex?

A: Well, for male adult film stars, sure. But for women, absolutely not – you see, most porn videos are designed to appeal to males, who constitute the vast majority of viewers and purchasers. If you’re a straight male, of course having your cock sucked, and pounding a beautiful woman’s hot pussy (or ass) is what you want to see, and do.

But that doesn’t mean it’s also what a woman wants. As we’ve learned from studies, endless interviews and personal observation, it’s really not. Oh, cock sucking and getting our pussies pounded is fun...but not FUN!!

Do you know what I mean?

"Tom had been an enthusiastic lover, he took me out to dinner, brought me flowers, even when I wasn’t expecting them, but something was missing. When we made love, he never wanted to lick me...down there...I can hardly believe I’m telling you this!"

Anyway, I finally worked up the nerve to insist that he do it, if he wanted me to do the same for him. He finally did, and as it turned out, he loved it...but not as much as me!"- Cathy, 26

Please don’t be offended that having a cock in our pussies isn’t the absolutely greatest pleasure that a woman experiences. It really is terrific, but... the difference, to a large extent, is based on physiology. The nerve endings that lead to orgasm in a man are primarily located along the shaft and in the head of his penis – thus, friction against that part leads to his pleasure. Sliding that deliciously hot and tasty meat rod in a woman’s wet, slippery pussy, or wet mouth, is definitely going to feel great – but for you more than her.

Women, on the other hand, have the majority of their nerve endings located in the clitoris, which is not effectively stimulated by fucking. The vagina has relatively few nerve endings compared to the clitoris (none deep inside), and the inner mouth (not the lips) has none related to sexual pleasure.

If you watch the average video of a male adult film star fucking a female star’s pussy or ass closely, you will invariably see her hand creeping in between their two pounding crotches to rub around particular parts of her vulva, and bring herself to orgasm. It’s not the best way for her to cum, but it makes her reactions more authentic and still allows for the director’s required list of activities in the film.

Now, if you happen to catch a lesbian video produced for the female market by one of the better video sources out there – the ones that advertise as being "by women" and "for women," you’ll see that cunnilingus, and certain other acts, are the most common and preferred means by which women bring each other off. If you’re a male, you won’t need to put on a dress or have a sex change to please a woman as effectively, or better than women themselves do – and I can guarantee you, women know exactly how to bring each other off!

The secrets of the men who always have beautiful women around them are easy to understand and learn – but they’re carefully guarded. Now, you too can learn the techniques of cunnilingus that turn women on, and can absolutely make them demand that you "lick my pussy again... please!" and then beg you for more!.

Pleasure from the Mastery of Cunnilingus

During my research I discovered that the question many guys ask is, "Why does it have to be so fucking hard to make a woman cum?"

Too often that question is followed by, "Okay, I get it – licking her pussy will get her off, so I’ll hold my nose and do it."

Unfortunately, that in turn almost always leads to "Well, that didn’t fucking work, so I just fucked her – she loves my dick, sucking it and feeling it fill her little twat."

It’s inevitable that the conversation would ultimately conclude with, "Yeah, really, I left her. I got tired of her – she doesn’t know what she’s doing in bed and just lays there."

Guys, it doesn’t have to be like that. The Winning Attitude means that you’re playing a team sport – well, a two-person team, sometimes three-person-or-more team, but a team nonetheless. You need to do what you can to help your partner succeed. If she orgasms, I guarantee you that she’ll do everything that she can to make you orgasm. On the other hand, if you’re just in it for your own immediate gratification, she’ll quickly come to the conclusion that she’s not getting much out of the relationship – whether it’s a one-time thing, or a lifelong commitment.

We’re not necessarily talking about love, we’re talking about you becoming her sex god, the one that she worships and adores!

In order to succeed you have to start with understanding the female orgasm.

The Female Orgasm – Give Her More than Just One!

As I showed previously, the majority of women (70 to 80 percent in the general population) require direct or indirect clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. That means some form of friction against the clitoris, or related organs.

According to the Mayo Clinic, "Orgasms vary in intensity, and women vary in the frequency of their orgasms and the amount of stimulation necessary to trigger an orgasm." The clitoris itself has more than 8,000 nerve endings, more than the penis, and more than any other part of the human body. That makes it a rich and productive area in which to excite a woman, but also makes it easy to over-stimulate her, which is often interpreted as pain. So a fine and gentle touch is necessary.

The vagina itself has fewer nerve endings, with the exception of the "G-Spot" and the urethral sponge. Those areas have more and can lead to occasional orgasms when stimulated, though fewer intense orgasms and lesser sexual pleasure than the clitoris. Nonetheless, when a G-Spot orgasm is combined with a clitoral orgasm – something you will learn in this guide – the total of sensations is described as "overwhelming."

"I had never had sex with another girl, but I was curious, and didn’t want to go through life wondering what it was like. When I dropped a few hints to Mary Ann, my lesbian roommate, she was dubious at first. ‘I don’t want to fuck up a perfectly good friendship,’ she said.

But I insisted and finally broke her down. She was so sweet. She charmingly had candles and my favorite wine ready for me one night after I came home from work, and seduced me in our apartment.

Oh. My. God. What she did to make me cum was mind-blowing, I thought she’d have to scrape me off the ceiling, and more than once! And the best part is, that was the first and last time I did it with a girl, but I told Michael, who I eventually married. He wanted to know exactly what she did, became really good at it, and now I don’t think his lovemaking will ever grow old."- Elizabeth, 33

According to Masters and Johnson, all women are potentially multiply orgasmic, and that "the female is capable of rapid return to orgasm immediately following an orgasmic experience, if re-stimulated before tensions have dropped below plateau phase response levels." Well, that shows you that, if a man can arouse a woman properly, he has a greater chance of finding her response to be extremely rewarding for them both in terms of her enjoyment and her willingness to continue ‘playing.’

Other studies show that, after the first orgasm, subsequent orgasms for women may be stronger or more pleasurable as the stimulation builds.

The Vulva – An Anatomical Pleasure Chest

The vulva is the scientific name for the external genital organs of the female. Many men initially find the layout and the purpose of the various parts confusing. Don’t feel bad, so do some women! However, after spending time examining the vulva, you will find it to be easy to understand, and extremely rewarding once you appreciate how different parts serve a woman’s orgasm – and yours.

The Mons Pubis

This is Latin for "hill of Venus." It’s located where the hairy crown above a girl`s clitoris is found, and below the stomach. The normal growth of hair may be completely removed, or trimmed somewhat. It’s also the layer of fat that covers her pubic bone, and provides a cushion of sorts from the impact of another person’s pubis during face to face sex.

The Front Commissure

The front commissure lies just underneath the Mons Pubis and is the beginning of the clitoral shaft. If you can get a woman to hold still for it, stick your face down there (or look at the illustration) – see, it’s that spot where it goes from the flat part of her Mons (see above), and starts to rise up. Sometimes it’s a lot better for you to stroke this part than the clitoris (below it), because some women are just too sensitive on the clit itself. This is a good opportunity to remember an important point about women during sex:

A little bit often goes a long way. Women enjoy and respond to soft, gentle, varied and drawn out touching, caressing, and sex. Don’t rush it, don’t be rough – why do you think women like chick flicks instead of action movies?

The Clitoral Shaft

Much like the front commissure, the clitoral shaft lies beneath the skin. It’s one of the more sensitive parts of the vulva, other than the clitoris itself. If a woman is sensitive, sweeping the flat of your tongue with a soft, gentle pressure on the clitoral shaft can help arouse her and make her cum.

The Clitoral Hood

Okay, this is important if you’re going to be eating pussy. You should be both cautious and careful around, and on, the clitoral hood. If not, you can find yourself lessening the likelihood of her orgasm, instead of helping her build to one. The hood protects the clitoris from unwanted sensation – remember, with over 8,000 nerve endings, it’s really easy to do too much stimulating.

The clitoris is REALLY sensitive – think "getting kicked in the balls" for the girl, if you don’t treat it right. Some touches can just be too much on the clitoris and may hurt her. The hood’s job is essentially to obstruct you from touching the clit itself, and it actually moves to achieve that. When a woman’s orgasm builds, the hood pulls back to allow greater stimulation. If the hood is covering the clit, lick in downward strokes over it, or gentle circles around it.

This can help to excite your lover, by increasing her access to stimulation. If the hood moves back over her clit, but she’s obviously building to an orgasm – moaning, head rocking from side to side, hands grabbing the sheets, etc. – that’s good, but DON’T poke your tongue under the hood, she doesn’t need any more stimulation of her clit. Just lick around it, and on and around the hood. Her body is reacting as it should to help her cum!

The Clitoris

With 8,000 nerve endings, the woman’s clit has far more sensory receptors than any other part of the human body, including a man’s penis, which takes second place at 4,000 nerve endings. That’s why any guide to the sexual aspects of the female body will have at least some reference to its importance. You can take guidance from that priority, to be certain that the clitoris is the key to a woman’s sexual happiness.

Unlike the penis, though, the clit has no other function than to bring a woman pleasure – can you imagine that? As a result, it is generally very, very good at that one task – which means, if you can unlock the potential for pleasure hidden within it, you will have a very, very happy woman on your hands. Probably one who will do anything that she can to make you happy in return.

Because it is so wondrously sensitive, though, any direct contact with the clit has the potential to actually be painful – an overload of sensation, you could say. Your goal, as a ‘cunning linguist,’ should be to provide pleasurable sensation in that area of her body, but never to go over the edge of over-stimulation.

The clitoral hood protects the clitoris, and actually moves, advancing over it and retracting, something like the roof over a football or baseball stadium, as circumstances warrant. Normally, the clit is well covered, but as a woman’s excitement increases, the hood retracts to expose the hungry little clit to more pleasurable sensations.

The clitoris itself may seem difficult to find, because, just like the penis, the tip on the exterior of the woman’s body can vary in size from very small, to noticeably larger when excited, and swollen with blood (though much tinier than the male’s version of the clitoris, the penis.) It will always be found just under the hood. Just as with the penis, it doesn’t matter whether it’s big or small, sensitivity of the clit is not dependent on size.

The entire extent of the clit is not just that little organ peeking out from under the hood, it actually extends under the vulva, around and along the labia, back through the perineum (the skin between the fourchette and anus) – sensitive nerve endings accompanying it, which helps to explain why this area is so rich in erogenous zones, and why the right touch in this entire area is so pleasurable to a woman.

The Frenulum

The frenulum, where the labia meet at the top, is the beginning of the inner labia. It is comprised of tissue much like that of the labia themselves, and possesses delicate nerve endings that are a rich source of delight to a woman if massaged and handled carefully.

The Labia Minora and Labia Majora

These parts, commonly called the "lips," are a nice source of pleasure when licked and caressed, and are not as sensitive as the clit itself. The labia minora, also known as the "inner lips," and the labia majora, also known as the "outer lips," act as protection for the vaginal opening.

More to the point of this guide, however, a woman will discover that they are an extremely pleasurable area for a man’s tongue and lips to express his affection. Why restrict yourself to just the area around the clit, when you can both enjoy the feel of your mouth on her lips, too?

The Vaginal Opening

Also known as "vagina," "pussy,’ "cunt". It’s where the baby comes out – but, of course, you knew that (I hope!) and has been voted as the majority of men’s ‘favorite female organ’ year after year in polls. For women, the G-spot, located about where the rear view mirror is on your car, is a great source of additional pleasure. Most women like feeling a finger, or a penis, dildo or tongue inside her vaginal opening, although probably not to quite the level of screaming ecstasy that erotic videos might lead you to believe. It’s still great, though!

The Fourchette

Located at the lower side of the vagina, this is the equivalent of the frenulum, with nerve endings that can bring noticeable pleasure. Because of its location so much closer to the anus, some women and men might be uncomfortable with this area being licked and tongued. Talk to her if she displays discomfort with your attention there, and be open to the sounds she may make, and to her movements to understand how she’s accepting your attention there.

If she has previously had an episiotomy (a surgical cut made through the fourchette to allow an easier vaginal delivery), she will likely be very sensitive here, and not enjoy the touch of your tongue on this area. Know your female partner well enough, or at least communicate with her enough to be aware of this history, or you might find her leaping out of bed from pain or the shock of your touch there.

The Perineum

This is the area of skin lying between the anus and the fourchette. It can be an incredibly sensitive and erotic area to caress and massage, and to kiss if you’re both willing, but it requires communication and understanding on the part of both partners, as there may be considerable inhibition about oral and near anal contact, or even about just near anal contact of any sort, even just the fingers.

"It literally took years for Bobby to convince me, but I finally gave in and told him he could lick me near my asshole ‘one time.’ I hoped that he’d find that he didn’t like it and leave me alone about it, because I really thought it would be creepy. To my surprise, I came almost immediately after he started touching and licking me there, and now I love feeling his tongue there and inside my asshole too. Are we perverts because we like it?" – Molly, 29.

Female Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zones – areas of the body that react to sexual stimuli – vary in sensitivity from woman to woman, but on the whole are easily identified. One of the most pleasant aspects of foreplay is identifying a particular woman’s receptive areas, and then profiting from a masterful touch. The expression, "playing her like a fiddle,’ is apt when it refers to seeing a woman blossom in pleasure from your touch!

The most common areas on the surface of a woman’s body include her hair, neck, ears, lips, breasts, armpits, stomach, the skin that covers the spine, her butt, vulva, legs, and her feet.

These zones can be stimulated by your fingers, your lips and tongue, and by physical objects. Often, this stimulation or arousal can begin in the company of others, your touch on some of these erogenous zones perfectly natural and admirable, building her to a level where she demands that you take her somewhere private, to explore the rest of her erogenous zones!

Hair

One of the most exciting touches for a woman, is to feel your fingers run through her hair. The gentle stimulation of her scalp, and the tickling sensation simply from the movement of her hair is amazingly positive. Most people, not just women, like to have their hair touched by someone they’re attracted to.

Brushing her hair back, away from her eyes, shows her that you care how she looks. In addition, it invariably draws her eyes to yours – there is no stronger non-tactile attractant to a woman than for a man simply to look into her eyes in a sensual, loving way. That doesn’t mean that you should have a sappy look on your face, it just means that your eyes express happiness at seeing her.

I can’t tell you the number of times that a fleeting look has gotten another woman into bed, after I touched her hair. Similarly, a man can turn me on instantly with his eyes, and his touch of my hair. Think of how exciting it can be to you as a lover, too, to realize that it’s so simple.

Later, when you’re naked in each other’s arms, as the passion builds, pulling her hair, whether on her scalp or that sweet bush above her pussy, may be appropriate too, but that takes a deeper, longer reading of her desires.

Neck

Of course, there’s more to exciting a woman than just touching her hair! That would get boring after a while, so you need to vary things – and there is so much more to choose from. Caressing her neck with your fingertips, kissing her throat and the back of her neck, even light licking – there’s a lot of geography to cover there, and not all parts of her neck feel quite the same – when it’s done properly, adds to her growing excitement, or done further along in lovemaking, may bring her to orgasm by itself.

Ears

Ears are very, very sensitive and can really turn a woman on, but can also be a major turn off if handled improperly. And some people just don’t like having their ears touched at all.

Whisper in her ear, see how she reacts. Such a private act, shared between two people only – that’s another non-physical turn on to her, aside from your touch. Gently kiss her ear, her lobe, caress with your fingertip, maybe even catch her earlobe between your thumb and forefinger (gently), just remember, slow and gentle goes a long, long way with a woman. And avoid wet willies – yuck! Nobody wants a wriggling tongue in their ear, plus earwax tastes so bad, so spare yourselves the annoyance!

Lips

Oh boy, lips. I can write pages and pages of erotic fiction just centered on the possibilities of exciting a woman through her lips. I bet if you surveyed a spectrum of lesbian erotic stories, written by women for women, that a big, big part of the lovemaking would involve kissing, lips meeting lips. It’s unbelievably hot to us. If women (who presumably understand what a woman wants pretty well) want to spend their time caressing lips to get off, well, there’s probably a pretty good lesson there for you, don’t you think?

Lips can be kissed, which is the caress of your lips on hers, but it’s also the rush of your breath over her lips, as well as, eventually, your tongue over her lips. All different types of stimulation to her, and there are SO many nerve endings in her lips – take advantage of them.

Of course, finger tips can caress and excite lips too. But, as with the ears, be careful. She may be turned off by having what she assumes are dirty fingers so near her mouth. Or she might bite you! On the other hand, if she lets your finger slip between her soft, warm and moist lips and she sucks on it...that’s got to be a fairly good sign for your prospects, eh?

Breasts

Breasts are composed of more than just that little pink or brown thing on the end, guys. They’re also often very sensitive, and when they’re mauled or squeezed, it can hurt. Trace finger tips, or nails (ONLY if they’re well-trimmed and smooth) following the curve of the breast to excite and build her anticipation. Kiss her breasts, lightly lick them, and after some of that you may even feel her urge you towards her nipples. Then it’s okay to kiss, lick and lightly nibble her nipples – but let her control your speed. If she moans or sighs, or says, "yessssss," then you’re doing it right. If she yelps – oops, you’re on the wrong track.

Arms

Yes, please. I think that most girls like having their arms stroked, even with (well-trimmed and smooth) finger nails, and with the tips of fingers. Don’t squeeze too hard, our muscles aren’t like yours. Stroking her armpit can be fun for her, and allows her to open herself to you a little bit, trusting that you won’t go for the cheap joke and try to tickle her...so, don’t. Don’t ever give in to the temptation to tickle her more than just a little, and only after you know her really, really well.

Stomach

This area is problematic. It feels nice (although, sometimes ticklish) to be stroked and caressed here. But sometimes, with water gain during her period, or because she does have a little extra weight, she may be sensitive about having her stomach touched too much. Just pay attention to how she reacts when you touch her here, and play it by ear.

Along the Spine

Follow the contour lines of her back, spreading out from her spine, long, feathery caresses with your fingertips, leaving pale lines on her skin with your (well-trimmed and smooth) finger nails, occasionally brushing away from the spine like the feathers on your angel’s wings (sorry, I couldn’t resist being girly!) Do the same with your lips, leaving a trail of soft, gentle kisses against her skin, maybe four or five inches apart...a vibrator just barely touching her, following the same routes. It’s the slow, gentle application of you on her that she appreciates, adores, and is aroused by. Feathers, half melted ice cube or even an ice cream cone, the butt of a whip...use your imagination, but present it to her as your desire to make her feel good. And she’ll make you feel good later.

Bottom

You can kiss it, touch it or squeeze it. If both of you are into it, spank her, but never do it if you are not sure that she will enjoy it. I’m especially attracted to this area, both having it fondled, and fondling it on a partner.

Vulva

You will get a ton of ideas in this book on what to do with this part of her body. Keep reading. :)

Legs

Being touched almost anywhere on her legs is stimulating and pleasant for a woman, but the most erotically charged areas are inside her thighs, and behind her knees. Plenty of fingertip caressing (NO fingernails) and lip and tongue action here is usually well received, as long as you vary the touch, and try not to repeat the areas to be caressed more than a few times. As part of a strategy to work your mouth closer and closer to her by now wet pussy, soft kisses up her legs to her knees, then inside her thighs, growing ever closer to her sweet, musky love nest can drive her insane – don’t be surprised if she forcibly pulls your head to her crotch to get your mouth on her pussy.

Feet

Everyone, man or woman, likes having their feet massaged, and you can actually lightly knead the muscles there more roughly than anywhere else on her body (other than the back) without objection. Most women would be happy just to get a foot rub, much less a screaming orgasm from your mouth on her vulva!

You can suck her toes, and lick her feet, too, assuming that she’s prepared herself for you as well as you have for her (hint – clean is really good.) She’ll be tickled, turned on, and very, very intrigued.

Inside the body - G-Spot

Yes, this absolutely exists, though women vary in their sensitivity and reaction to stimulation of it. It’s located behind her clitoris, inside her vagina. I think of it as being positioned like a rear view mirror in a car when I describe it to new male lovers (and even a few ‘noobs’ to girl-girl sex who did not know where it was...at first.)

An easy way to locate it is by placing one or two fingers (gently, gently) into her vagina with your palm facing up, fingertips approximately behind where her clit is located, and then caressing her inner wall. Ask her how it feels to her. She’ll let you know if you’ve found it, but don’t turn it into a search for the holy grail – some women won’t feel anything special there.

Combining caresses of her G-spot with your fingers while licking her pussy effectively and productively, can result in the most amazing orgasms of her life.

Stroking inside her in a ‘come here, baby’ gesture, varying speed, location and pressure, is most effective.

Remember, women are not much like men in the way that they build to an orgasm, so be patient and be gentle. Also, pace yourself, it’s the 800 meters, not the 60 meter dash! Listen to her sounds – they may not be words – they’ll tell you when you’re doing well. Additionally, the movements of her body, especially her hands and hips send all kinds of messages – listen and respond.

If she tells you that she feels like she’s going to pee, listen to her and move along – unless you both like that. Similarly (but NOT the same), if you’re ultra-successful with some women, she’ll ejaculate, or ‘squirt.’ It’s somewhat uncommon, but entirely natural and harmless. Reassure her if she does and doesn’t know what it is, and take secret pride that you are an extremely masterful lover!

Preparation

Just feeling, and being, fresh and clean is an accepted part of human relations. And so it is (and usually should be) in love making. There may well be times, and philosophies, that avoid showering before making love – I have used them as a theme myself in erotic stories, and in relations with men and women that I knew very well.

But if you’re with someone new, really your default should be, "Am I going to smell, and taste, okay?" There’s no need to overdo it, but first impressions are important, right?

Couples, or threesomes (or more) who have been together before, should know each other well enough beforehand to know what level of preparation is necessary.

Hair

Let’s move on to pubic hair. Thankfully today, the trend is toward bare pussies (and often, cocks) to no more than a well-trimmed bush. In cunnilingus, the less hair, the better, although of course people can be turned on by wildly overgrown bushes. But when you’re trying to negotiate you face, lips and tongue through a thick forest of wiry pubic hair, it’s usually a major turn off.

If you wouldn’t be enthusiastic about finding a hair in your food, you’re probably not going to welcome it in the pussy you’re licking, either. Talk about it. Better to clarify the issue beforehand, than to both be disappointed – you, because you don’t want a mouth full of hair, her, because she likely won’t feel the wondrous sensation of warm, wet tongue stroking her labia and clit, when hair gets in the way.

There are several ways that she can reduce or eliminate her hair "down there." Shaving, whether with a feminine bikini razor, or with an electric shaver, is a common choice, along with waxing, laser hair removal, and depilatory creams.

Shaving

Shaving can include removing all pubic hair ("bald beaver"), or just leaving a small, trimmed bush in various shapes. A thin rectangle, aka "landing strip" is most common, and easiest to shape, although a small circle, or a triangle or star shape are also found. The more ornate shapes are sometimes found on the mousiest of girls, a discovery that never fails to amaze me.

She should follow the same simple practices that she uses when she shaves her legs, when shaving her vulva:

- A leisurely soak in a warm bubble bath will make the hairs easier to cut.

- After shampoo treatments can also soften hair. Conditioner is perfect for this.

- Do the heavy cutting with scissors before shaving. This will make the shaving itself a LOT easier, as she can see what she’s doing.

- Disposable razors are easiest – they won’t have bacteria from previous uses to cause infection, and most importantly, she won’t be wrecking your razor. Straight razors are not a good choice in areas like the vulva, with its many folds, nooks and crannies.

- Stretch skin as it gets shaved, to better remove stubble and leave a smoother surface.

- Use soaps, shaving cream and lotions for "sensitive skin." The vulva is sensitive!

- Never use talcum powder afterward, but cornstarch is okay.

- If she’s going to do it by herself, a mirror helps. But it’s more fun if she has help.

- Cortisone cream is a good remedy for razor burn. You don’t want her to be sore there, do you?

Waxing

Waxing isn’t for everybody. It can cause ingrown hair problems, plus waxing is usually pretty painful, if only for a brief time. Think about how it would feel to have your balls waxed. It’s also more expensive than just shaving.

Having said that, if she’s willing to have it done, the process is pretty fast, and the results – a smooth vulva, last for about a month to a month and a half. She should have the waxing done by a professional – her vulva is no place for an amateur to practice (waxing at least.)

Bikini waxing is intended to remove hair from areas that a bikini doesn’t cover. That won’t really help with the areas that cause problems during cunnilingus. For that, the "Brazilian" would be a better choice.

Your woman will need to completely buy into the procedure, or you could do your relationship more harm than good. For one thing, she’ll have to bare herself completely to a stranger. That may be okay with men, but it’s not something women usually do readily. And then there’s the pain, and the expense. If she’s not fully in agreement beforehand, without coercion, you may end up with a woman who resents the process, and being forced into it. It’s her body, after all.

And not in any effort to promote bi sex, but you’ll probably be better off if the waxing is done by another woman. Your woman will be way less stressed, and more comfortable with the whole process. That means that she’s more likely to be happy with you, and looking forward to feeling your hot, wet tongue on her pussy.

Just do your best to make her comfortable, and to make the process go easily for her. You should be doing that all the time, anyway! And once she has the process done, give her some space until her vulva is ready for action.

Laser Hair Removal

This is an effective way of removing pubic hair, but can only be performed in professional salons, or doctor’s offices. In terms of its popularity as a cosmetic improvement, it’s second only to Botox injections in numbers of procedures performed. It consists of a series of treatments over time, and may give excellent results over a long period. It works best with darker pigmented hair and lighter skin.

Depilatory Creams

Depilatory creams, or "hair removal creams," can be effective, but can be extremely irritating to sensitive tissues. Read and follow label instructions exactly to ensure satisfactory results and avoid problems.

The Male Partner and His Hair

Whether or not your partner has shaved, or waxed, or is going au naturel, there’s more hair that needs to go before you start munching that sweet little carpet – your facial hair.

Think about how it would feel to run a piece of sandpaper over your inner thighs, or even over your cock. It probably wouldn’t feel very nice, right? That’s exactly how your facial stubble, ie, your "five o’clock shadow" feels on the most sensitive part of your woman’s body. It’s really, really hard to get into the mood – even when you’re licking her correctly – if she’s in dread of the electric shock of your face against her skin.

Shave as close as possible to the time you’re going to have your face between her legs, although you don’t have to interrupt undressing her to go for a quick shave – a few hours before is fine, but you need a close shave. A fashionable amount of stubble really hurts, even more than a full beard. Otherwise, try putting a clean, dry wash cloth between your cheeks and her thighs, and don’t forget to keep any facial hair away from her clit. Even a single, stray, spiky hair jabbing into her clit will ruin the occasion.

Earning Your Red Wings – Yes or No?

It may sound like a complete no-no, and disgusting and gross, to suggest that you can have cunnilingus while she’s menstruating. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Yeah, "Earning your red wings" can be pretty embarrassing if you aren’t prepared for it, or if she didn’t tell you that she was menstruating, especially if you were both drunk and never even thought about it, but it’s rarely fatal (just kidding, it’s only the thought of it that might freak you out.)

Some men really like the idea of eating her pussy at that time, because it often brings her a great deal of comfort, or because she’s actually a lot hornier and ‘into it.’ And on the other side, are the men who want nothing to do with it. I’m not here to convert anyone, just to explain the best way to do it for those who want to do it.

Of course, if she doesn’t want to do it, you’re not going to do it. Some women don’t feel fully ‘fresh and clean,’ while menstruating, and if so, you should respect her wishes. Once again, as with anything relating to pleasing your partner (and yourself,) communication is paramount.

Using a tampon during cunnilingus while she’s menstruating, can solve most, if not all, of the concerns about stray fluids. If she’s bathed and put in a fresh tampon, you might have difficulty even knowing it’s her period, other than the string. If you confine your attention to the area around and at her clitoris (not just the clit itself – remember, it’s very sensitive), there shouldn’t be any problems.

Being Careful About Oral

Knowledge is one of the best ways (but not the only way) to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs.) The only infallible way to protect yourself from STDs is abstinence, or not bringing yourself in contact with another person’s sexual parts. The second best is to be aware of how to best protect yourself from an STD, and follow the best practices. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you might be tempted to forget safe procedures – you should be aware of that possibility.

If you’re with a new partner, you really should either inquire as to whether she’s been tested recently, and what the results were, or, failing that, follow recommended best practices. Unfortunately, there really aren’t any other choices.

If you’re in a stable relationship, you’ve both been tested and are free of STDs, and neither of you has other sexual partners, then you likely are free to indulge in unprotected sex. Be aware that steps recommended here to avoid STDs are not necessarily effective regarding conception, although the number of pregnancies resulting from cunnilingus is probably pretty low. Yes, that’s a joke.

So – what are the safe sexual practices that you can take regarding avoidance of STDs in a new partner? Basically, you need to avoid having her bodily fluids (vaginal fluids, blood, etc.) enter your body, through any openings or cuts/wounds.

Cunnilingus is a relatively low risk sexual practice, compared to anal or vaginal sex, insofar as spreading STDs are concerned. However, if you have bloody gums (especially after brushing teeth) or unhealed sores inside the mouth, you could possibly acquire an infection. Avoid brushing your teeth just before cunnilingus.

Analingus, aka rimming or ‘ass licking’ can also expose you to many pathogenic (harmful) micro-organisms.

Latex (a form of rubber) barriers over the woman’s vulva or anus can minimize your risk.

Simply, the barrier stops contact between the vulva or anus and your mouth. Be careful not to let it slip out of place to remain effective.

There are several types of barriers available:

- Dental dam - A dental dam is a small, waterproof latex square placed over the vulva during cunnilingus or over the anus during analingus. A small amount of water based lubricant placed between the skin and dental dam can improve sensitivity and also keep the dam from sticking. Dental dams should never be used more than one time, to avoid potential infections. Dental dams can be found in your local drugstore or through the internet.

- Plastic wrap - This is by far the least expensive, and easiest to find – just look in your local supermarket, or even easier, in your own kitchen – you probably already have it. Pros are: Because it’s thin, both of you can feel the other’s body (vulva or tongue) almost as if it weren’t there. The con is: Because it’s thin, it can rip easily, especially in the heat of passion. If you decide to use it, a few drops of lube on her vulva can improve sensitivity.

- Condom cut into a dental dam - If you cut the tip end off an unrolled condom, then make one cut lengthwise, you’ll end up with a rectangle. Voila, a dental dam! Plus, if you chose correctly originally, it can be in your favorite flavor and color! Condoms are available in drugstores, many supermarkets, and from self-service dispensers in some bar and gas station restrooms.

Women Are NOT Balloons

It is not funny to blow air into the vagina, as if you were blowing up a balloon. Because blood vessels are so close to the surface of the vaginal lining, you run the risk of forcing air into the woman’s bloodstream, which can cause an embolus. An embolus is a bubble of air that can lead to a life-threatening condition, and even death.

This is rare, and generally is related to events during or after pregnancy. It is not related to air that is forced into the vagina during sex, and later expels, usually making a hilarious sound, known popularly as a "queef" or "vart" (vaginal fart). Blowing air across her vulva, or over her clit, both external areas of her body, will not cause any harm, and may very well increase her pleasure.

Keeping Things Clean and Fresh

#1st#It’s really just good common sense, and an overall better time for everyone concerned, if good personal hygiene is an important factor in cunnilingus. A woman’s vagina is extremely attractive and appealing to all the senses, including taste and smell, in my opinion, but is more likely to be enticing, if not mouth-watering, when it is healthy and hygienic. Not every "cleaning product" that’s available is necessarily right for a woman’s intimate opening, however.

Hygiene products

As surprising as it might sound, antibacterial soaps and washes may not be a good choice to clean the vagina or vulva. There is a delicate balance of bacteria that we want to maintain in those areas. Antibacterial products commit warfare across the spectrum of these inhabitants, ironically leaving a bacteria-free desert that is subsequently infested by "bad" bacteria later, or by other micro-organisms like yeast.

The result: pain, discomfort and bad smells. That’s not conducive to having sex at all, much less cunnilingus.

Also, regular soaps or bath gels are alkaline, which conflicts with and neutralizes the acidic environment of the vagina, again upsetting the delicate balance of micro-organisms there. A ‘low pH,’ or ‘acidic’ product made for use in the vagina is much preferred. Those will help the vagina to maintain its normal environment and protect itself against harmful micro-organisms.

Washing every day is good, it’s certainly not necessary to wash multiple times a day! This area should be washed after intercourse, but again, it’s not necessary to leap out of bed immediately to do so. And every woman should know to wash from front to back, to avoid bringing pathogenic micro-organisms from the anal area into her vagina.

She should also be "in tune" with her body, and see a medical professional if any unusual, painful or uncomfortable conditions present themselves.

Women should never allow any absorbent material to remain in close, intimate contact with their private parts for more than four hours, if avoidable. Years ago there were incidents of women suffering a disorder called "Toxic Shock Syndrome" (TSS) from tampons that were left in place for excessive periods while menstruating. The absorbent tampons became cultures for a bacteria, found in most everyone, called Staph aureus which grew, and produced a poison which unfortunately caused illness and deaths.

There is nothing wrong with using tampons, or panty liners, or sanitary napkins – it’s only necessary to be aware of their proper use and use them accordingly.

There are various creams on the market for use in and around the vulva. The woman should read all instructions carefully, and use them as directed.

It’s a good practice for a woman to wear cotton undergarments, panties, etc. near her vagina, allowing air to circulate there to allow the "good" bacteria to grow, and discourage bacteria which prefer tight, closed airless spaces. This is not to say that she can’t wear tight, slinky and hot garments, particularly when it’s for your mutual pleasure, but she shouldn’t wear them all the time.

If the two or three of you (or she by herself) like using sex toys, clean them thoroughly every time they’re used.

Avoid douching the vagina. It usually only results in loss of beneficial micro-organisms, and the subsequent proliferation of "bad" ones. The interior of the vagina is self-cleaning, only the exterior of the vulva needs "cleaning" in the traditional soap-and-water sense. Besides, her vagina smells just fine if it’s healthy, and doesn’t need to smell like various combinations of flowers or a scented candle!

Do It Right And Make Her Ask For It

Men and Women are Just NOT the Same

"I was wondering why our love life had sort of become, well, if not defunct, it was pretty crappy. Anyway, I decided to try a whole new approach. Before, I was kissing Lisa and caressing her a little bit, then I’d squeeze her breasts and tickle her pussy, finally I’d ask her to give me a beej and when I was hard enough, and of course wet with her spit, then I’d kind of nudge her onto her back and slip it inside her. She never complained, but to be honest, she never really seemed to enjoy it that much.

At first she’d insist that she came when I did, but after a while she stopped doing even that...she’d just roll over when I did and go to sleep, without saying anything. Finally, though, I knew I had to say something and after weeks of conversation, we finally started talking about what was wrong. Slowly – but surely – we started fixing the things that were wrong, and honestly, our love life really is the way we both want it to be." – Bernard, 33

Men and women approach foreplay in completely different ways, and when the needs of one aren’t met, chances are they won’t even make it to bed, or, if they do, somebody’s going to be unhappy afterwards. Most often, that’s the woman, but let’s face it, guys – if you’re in a relationship with a woman and she’s unhappy, don’t you think (or already know) that she’s going to let you know somehow?

Happy Wife, Happy Life – it’s true!

If you understand what the differences are, it’s a lot easier to satisfy her needs, as well as your own. Win-win all around.

Men are physical, and especially visual, women less so. A study done in 2008 of college students found that 90 percent of males and 60 percent of females surfed porn on the Internet, a highly visual medium. And according to a site that measures Internet traffic, 66 percent of Internet-using men between the ages of 18 and 34 look at online porn at least once a month. For women, the number is far lower. Does that make men bad? Certainly not! It means that men are often stimulated most easily by what they see, and to a lesser extent, by the other senses, ie, touch, smell, taste and hearing. A man grows up learning to stimulate himself – years ago, by a dog-eared copy of Playboy, nowadays by erotic stories, pictures and videos on an electronic device like a TV monitor, PC, e-reader or Smartphone.

Women, on the other hand, respond to less tangible things that involve emotions and interactions, and especially imagination. A woman can feel an erotic thrill from the glance of a man, or his eyes locking hers as they do the most mundane things. His scent, the way that his fingers touch her, all send messages that her brain interprets as stimulus. She may not be all that interested in seeing her husband or boyfriend walk out of the shower naked, even if his cock is at full, glorious salute, but she might respond more likely if he comes home from work, drops his keys on the floor, and gazes into her eyes at the door and kisses her more attentively than usual.

Why? Because his actions in the latter situation show that she is the focus of his attention – he’s thinking of her and not his dick. Of course, in the former scenario, everything that he’s thinking about is dick-related!

It’s also so important that you allow, and help her, to relax. If she’s tense, from unspoken concerns at work for instance, your foreplay techniques might not work as well. How do you help her to relax? It’s very simple – listen to her, sympathize with her, and when that’s done, listen to her, and sympathize with her. You don’t need to tell her how to fix her problems, that’s irritating and counterproductive. Just listen and sympathize. Besides getting her tension off her chest, she can more easily view you as an ally, as someone that she can trust.

Again, neither of those situations means that men or women are wrong, only that they’re different (thank goodness.) If you understand those differences, you can incorporate simple strategies into your interaction to improve sexual communication.

Effective foreplay, based on the above, is good –really, great actually. If you just incorporated that into your lovemaking, you’d be a better lover than most men, in my opinion. But if you include it with cunnilingus, I think that you’ll achieve legendary status!

How to Proceed Successfully After Preliminaries are Done

For me, touch is very, very important in regard to getting me turned on. A massage – really a combination of caresses and actual muscle kneading – is pretty fantastic. The interest that a man shows by his willingness to touch me (yes, every woman constantly worries about how attractive she is at any given romantic moment – Am I too fat? Too skinny? Is my skin smooth enough? Do I have a zit there?) is reassurance that shows me that I’m lovable.

And then there’s the implicit surrender to him in allowing him to touch me. If a stranger touched me on the subway, I’d slap him for invading my space. But if I’m allowing you to touch me, especially in a familiar way – I’ve given up some of my security to you.

"Bobby is nothing special to look at – my friends tease me that he’s the stereotypical computer nerd. But when he runs his fingertips across my bare shoulders with just the right amount of pressure, not too much, not too little, I involuntarily shiver with pleasure, and I can feel myself get wet. What makes it even better is, he knows it gets me wet too, and he loves to lick me down there, and even tells me how good I taste and smell. God, I’m getting wet just thinking about it!! "– Cynthia, 23

Massages can be simple caresses of the non-erogenous parts of her body – back, legs, feet, hands, arms, or more intensive working of the muscles in those areas. But don’t use any type of force or pressure unless you’ve had training. It’s possible to hurt someone if pressure is incorrectly applied.

As a means of relaxation, time spent with a professional massage therapist can relax her, and earn valuable "HC" points for you. "HC" of course means, "He Cares."

If you bring her a gift, there’s a good chance that you’ll charm her with your thoughtfulness. One important tip – it should NOT be something that she needs, or that you think she should have. Unless you’re an extraordinarily insightful man, there’s a good chance you might mess that up.

Instead, get her something that she wants, even if she doesn’t know it. Flowers are nice, and you don’t need a big arrangement, smaller is better – it’s the thought that counts. If you’re in a long-term relationship, something that would remind her of time that you’ve spent together pleasantly is appreciated. Perhaps a souvenir from the lovely spot where you spent your honeymoon, or a vacation week – it’s easy to find knick knacks on EBay and elsewhere on the Internet for vacation spots.

Be careful about scented candles, perfumes, or other scented products. Women are particular about these, though you should be able to get a good idea of how her tastes run by checking out her vanity, and in any case, she’ll appreciate the effort, especially if it’s for no other reason than that you were thinking of her.

Take her out to eat. Anything from a simple meal at a local mom and pop restaurant, to a fancy boîte will do. Avoid chain restaurants, especially fast food. If you have a restaurant where you both had a good time, take her back there. She may be shocked that you remembered.

What can you do if you don’t have a history together? Take her to a mom and pop restaurant that gets good reviews on Yelp, or Urbanspoon. Make sure that it at least has some of the food that she’s likely going to want – nothing messy, like a rib joint, or iffy like sushi. Vegetables, salads, baked goods are a plus on their menu, as are lighter meats like chicken and (cooked) fish.

If you have a good imagination, and you can pull it off, a back story about the restaurant can spice things up. It’s kind of lame to tell her that "It sounded good on Yelp," when you can say, "I used to come here with my parents and it’s special to me." Of course, that can always backfire too, but if you’re not planning on spending the rest of your life with her, who cares? You just want to get her to bed. And because you’re reading this cunnilingus guide, I think that you also want to get your tongue in her pussy and your lips on her clit!

If you can pull it off, making her dinner or even lunch is a good move. You don’t have to be a good cook to win points with this, and you may earn even more points if you flub it! But try not to take on more than you can actually handle, and keep it simple. Complicated things take you away from her.

As a woman, though, I beg you: The night before, don’t throw out the line about "should I call you or nudge you for breakfast?" She’s probably heard it from lame guys before, and you don’t want to be one of them. If you do this right, she’ll be making breakfast for you, pretty much anytime you want.

Run the bath for her, it’s really very simple. Set up some candles around the bathroom (her favorite scented ones, but at least colorful ones in glass jars), bubble bath (scented again, using her favorite bath liquid), make the water comfortably warm but not too hot. That’s not hard.

You can offer to shampoo her hair, or just sponge her with a washcloth, loofah or a similar thing. Lights off, and she’ll relax and let her cares float away. She’ll be ready for sex and practically anything you want.

If she’s your long term woman, help her out with stuff you’re supposed to be doing anyway. Pick up your dirty clothes, clean up after yourself a little where you sit, take out the trash. Women actually like it when men do that sort of thing. And pleasantly surprised.

Similarly, brush her hair (gently), rub her scalp, rub her feet – you can use a fair amount of pressure there. All of these are things that men never do for their woman, so you’re not only going to be more thoughtful than any other man she’s ever met, you’re going to get her into the frame of mind where’s she’s open to anything, including a sweet cunnilingus session with your mouth on her pussy, a screaming orgasm and her complete and total dedication to then make you happy.

Do you see where these tips are going? They all involve you taking a few minutes out of your life to think about her, and then show it. They’re not especially expensive, but to her, it’s often more exciting than having your cock in her pussy. But not as exciting as feeling your tongue expertly licking her sweet little clit!

Women are Men at Half Speed

Do you remember what we said about lingering glances, attractive smells, and soft kisses earlier? Women do not turn on like a light switch. Admit it – you do, and it’s hard to understand why she doesn’t too. Well, it’s because she’s a woman, and that’s the way it is. You’ve got to play on her field, so learn and follow the rules.

Did you know that it can take hours for two women together to actually get to the orgasm stage? That’s because, for us, ideally, the journey is what it’s all about, not the destination. Oh, cumming is absolutely fantastic for us – but the time spent caressing, kissing, whispering endearments, heightening each other’s pleasure, just being intimate with another person – those are the unforgettable elements of lovemaking for a woman, not being rammed by a cock.

You don’t need to spend hours making your woman orgasm, but the more you involve time in bringing her soft and slow pleasures, the greater the rewards for you both. Pay attention to her sounds, the soft noises she makes as you stroke her, or kiss her throat, these are signals of her readiness.

Watch her eyes for signs. Lowered lids, eyes closing, wrinkles in the corners from her hidden smile – she’s telling you that she’s ready. Her fingers – are they moving aimlessly, perhaps stroking the chair or bed sheet? She’s focusing her body and mind on the pleasure that you’re bringing her, so her hands are on auto pilot. That’s a sign that the light touch of your tongue on her vulva might be the most exquisite pleasure that she’s ever experienced.

Don’t be in any rush to get your mouth there, let her anticipate it, let her yearn for it, let her beg to feel your mouth on her wet and eager pussy.

"I have no idea where he learned to do it – he swears that he never licked a girl before, but god!! He kissed my cheeks softly, I could feel his breath on me. Then my lips...but only lightly, he didn’t try to jam his tongue down my throat or anything.

He used his fingers to turn my face away a little, and kissed in the little hollow in my throat, under my jaw, his lips were warm and soft. When I felt his tongue poke out a little and lick me, just a little bit, I giggled and wriggled my butt. I could feel excitement growing, my pussy was almost itching, and I realized that I was getting wet.

He slowly worked his way down my body, slipping my blouse aside and kissing my breasts, then gently taking my nipples between his lips, squeezing them just with his lips, then stroking his tongue over the nipple. His fingers were stroking my sides while I did that. Fortunately, he slowed it a little when I jerked as it tickled me. That would have been too much, but it was just perfect the way he did it.

When he got to my stomach, I moaned, I knew he was going to eat my pussy. I only hoped that he knew what he was doing, but god, if he was at all good, I was going to cum. That’s the only way I can cum, other than playing with myself.

When he finally got to my pussy, I was more than ready. He licked up and down my labia, I could feel electric shocks of pleasure streaming through my legs as his tongue lightly stroked up and down them. When his tongue dipped inside me, I shivered with pleasure, and came, just a little. He told me that I tasted sweet, and that my pussy smelled wonderful.

I giggled as he looked up at me, all I could see were his eyes, he didn’t want to take his mouth off of me. It was wonderful, I’ve never felt so wanted! When he finally wrapped his lips so gently over my clit, I felt as though I was being wrapped in a warm blanket of love, and came, gloriously, sweetly, deliciously CAME, my legs shaking uncontrollably, my mind just gone.

It was the best orgasm I ever, ever had. He’s a keeper."- Cheryl, 28

Techniques

Cunnilingus doesn’t work by just haphazardly licking away at a girl’s clit. Sure, she’ll feel something, but it’s just as likely to irritate her at worst, or do nothing for her at best, unless you know what you’re doing. Here are special techniques that will have her as limp as spaghetti in your arms, and begging for more!

Foreplay

In my opinion, there’s no such thing as foreplay for women. Think about it – "foreplay" implies the big show is coming, right after some preliminary action. So for guys, the main pleasure is in their orgasm, and everything before that is kind of minor, but cumming, that’s what it’s all about, right?

For women, the whole process is organic and seamless. There’s little difference in the pleasure we receive while kissing, caressing, holding our partner, listening to them say something sweet, looking in their eyes, and the pleasure we receive from orgasm – in type and satisfaction. There is a big difference in intensity.

What that means to you, is that the time you spend kissing, caressing, etc. earns as many points with a woman (well, almost) as the Big O itself, or at least foreplay is way more important to us than it is to you. It’s to your advantage to invest as much time in foreplay as you can, even though you may not think it means that much to us – really, it does, and it’s often the difference between whether a woman cums or not.

So, where does cunnilingus fit in? For us, it’s pretty much the Big O, if you do it right. Everything else that follows is nice, and we really want you to be happy, but by the time you cum, we’ve already cum – or should have. Unfortunately, men’s track record isn’t very good in that area, as my earlier statistics showed.

Foreplay starts long before the actual sex. For me, it starts when I get a phone call from my man:

"Hey, I cancelled my night at the gym because I really want to take you out for dinner. Can you make it?"

"Really, you did that for me? How sweet...let me check, I think I’m free, or I can at least get free to see you."

You may have two people lying to each other here, even with both of us knowing it – He didn’t feel like going to the gym, but he did want to fuck. And I was going to wash my hair, and maybe play with my vibrator, but I like being fucked by him. So, I’m thinking about him now, and will until we actually meet at that Park Avenue 4 star restaurant, or maybe just at the hot dog stand next to it – it really doesn’t matter, because he started the foreplay a day or two earlier with his phone call, and that’s the important thing for me.

Foreplay continues when he holds his gaze on mine for a beat or two longer than usual, or brushes his fingertips over my shoulder, when he holds the door, basically when he pays attention to me.

When the conversation over dinner turns to more intimate things, the foreplay ramps up in intensity, but it already started days or hours before. When he mentions a body part of mine – nothing crude is necessary, my neck, or hands, cheeks, or lips are fine – I’m picturing him touching those parts. And believe me, I’m perfectly willing to bring in the mental ‘dirty pictures’ myself, he doesn’t need to mention them too early.

When he mentions how velvety soft, full and red my lips are, besides visualizing his lips there, which is yummy, I’m also visualizing his fat cock slipping over them, as I suck his cock, perhaps while he licks my hot, throbbing pussy, and what his creamy white cum would look like on my red lips. All that from an innocent comment about how nice I happen to look!

It might sound funny, but if everything is done right, with the goal of both of us orgasming, my foreplay is going to take a couple of days, and I’ll cum when he licks my clitoris. His foreplay might be a half an hour or so in a hotel room, or my apartment, and he’ll cum when he fucks my wet (and already satisfied) pussy. The trick is coordinating those schedules.

When our foreplay is sufficient, we’ll both have a large quantity of blood flow directed at our genitals – my pussy will be wet, my clit erect and uncovered, and my entire vulva sensitized to his touch. His cock will be hard, his balls drawn up and ready to fire out a load of his thick and sticky cum. It’s just that my ‘go point’ usually isn’t going to be exactly the same as his, and it took me longer to get there.

You can try things like flirting, touching, deep kissing, certainly licking and kissing most any part of her body – remember her erogenous zones – talking dirty, all to get her excited. Sometimes, she’ll like adult movies, although most of them are made for the more visually-oriented male, not the more touch-oriented female. A little B & D, or even S & M are nice, if you both are fully aware of what those entail and agree with those terms.

Role playing can add spice, the main thing throughout foreplay is to make her comfortable, relaxed, and desired. Do those things, and it’s hard not to be successful. Pace yourself – sex for a woman is a marathon, not a sprint.

The Flutter of Angel Wings

Fortunately, since the vulva is located in the center of a woman’s body, there’s some variety in how you get there. Rather than jumping on her pussy immediately, which is really too direct for most women, start at her head, and work your way down to her pussy, showering attention on her along the way. Or, start at her feet, and work your way up to, yes, her cunt.

There are tons of variations to these two approaches, you can let your imagination guide the way. Just as an example, here are two scenarios with my lovers using this technique:

He kisses my cheek, a slight peck, looking into my eyes, but saying nothing. He piques my curiosity with this mysterious approach. His fingers caress the line of my jaw on one side of my face, then he lifts my chin slightly and kisses my throat, giving me a short lick on my artery with the rough flat of his tongue. I shiver, I’m vulnerable there.

He uses his fingertips of both hands to spread my blouse away from my breasts, my nipples erect. He’s made me even more vulnerable, exposing me. My pussy becomes wet at the thought of what he might do. He leans down and takes one nipple between his lips, as his hand caresses the underside of my other breast – oh, he’s being so sweet...until he pinches the other nipple cruelly between thumb and forefinger.

God, I’m confused...but so, so excited. Will he be sweet to me when he reaches my pussy and clit, or will he be cruel? Whichever it is, my pussy is already creaming madly for him. When he gently licks my clit, aroused and exposed to his eyes...or pinches it between his lips, sending shocks of pain and pleasure through my hips, one thing is certain – I will cum, again and again, my body limp with sensation.

Here’s another scenario, from an interview with another young woman:

I was in a threesome a few months ago. The other girl started at my feet, squeezing my feet in her hands, massaging and kneading the muscles, then sucking each toe, one by one, into her mouth, her warm, moist lips holding each toe captive as her tongue licked and tickled in between my toes.

There was no doubt in my mind that she would be soft and gentle, the spanking of her soft, warm naked ass a few minutes beforehand had ensured that.

Her lips and fingertips worked their soft, teasing way up my calf, the sensitive skin there tingling, then stroked the hollow under my knees, tickling me. By the time her sweet lips were kissing the inside of my thighs, ever closer to my drooling, pouting pussy, I had already cum once, ready for her sweet mouth on my clit, her tongue inside my pussy, lapping up my hot cream. It was a bonus that Drew let me suck his hard cock the whole time, while he watched us play.

One thing that both stories had in common:

Once the lovers got to the woman’s already creaming pussy – they slowly licked her vulva, from her inner thighs/mons to her labia, tongues softly, but with increasing pressure lapping around the center of her sex, but never touching her clit or pussy, until she was screaming with desire and need – even after cumming multiple times!

I know that you can find your way from head to pussy, or feet to clit, and have a very nice time doing it, while you prepare her for the delirium of your touch on her vulva.

The Snake Charmer

Of course, everyone knows what French Kissing is, don’t they? Just a reminder, though, while it means ‘kissing and inserting your tongue,’ it’s not the same as ‘fucking with your tongue’ – in other words, you need a very gentle use of your tongue here.

Pretend that her labia are the lips of her mouth – obviously sideways – and gently place your lips on hers. She can bruise here, and the labia are sensitive, so please don’t mash your lips on hers, I assure you that she knows that you’re there!

Now, gently, softly, touch and briefly lick inside her. You’re going to be touching the opening of her vaginal canal – her pussy itself – and her frenulum and fourchette. Don’t remain fixed to that spot like a lamprey, though, that’s just weird.

Instead, move your mouth to other parts of her vulva, again kissing softly, gently, briefly licking what you find. If you pay attention to her movements, to her sounds, to the involuntary reactions of her body, you’ll find her pussy wetting, her sweet cream dripping out into your eagerly waiting mouth. Go ahead, lap it up (softly, gently), she’ll make more!

The Venus Butterfly

You should try this once she’s actually starting to become aroused, not so much as your initial move. Think about how a woodpecker, er, pecks. Stiffen your tongue slightly (you never want anything really, really hard in regard to her pussy, except your cock when you’re both in the frenzy of an approaching orgasm. Peck away, that is, lightly thrust the stiffened tongue inside her pussy (which should already be at least somewhat wet), allowing your own saliva to flow freely inside her, wetting her additionally and decreasing the irritation of too much friction.

Vary where you place your tongue, in different parts of her wet canal, at her labia (gently), near her clit, but not on it. When she responds, you can move in other directions than just up and down, around in circles is very nice. Gauge her reactions, she will definitely let you know when she especially likes a particular movement.

Passion Sauvage

This is by far my favorite, both in giving and receiving, but it calls for a very, very gentle touch. It’s another technique that should not be used when you’re starting, but rather after she’s become aroused and very interested in how you’re going to bring her over the edge to her first, or subsequent orgasms.

You’ll be placing your very wet lips on her vulva, initially on anything but her clitoral area, and gently, softly applying a little vacuum, as though you were sucking on a straw. No hard sucking, that hurts, just enough that her skin is pulled upward toward your mouth.

Accentuate the sensation that this causes with the touch of your tongue to the flesh inside your mouth, just a touch, or slight lap. Never stay in one area very long, and never, ever do this directly on her clit unless you know her very well, and she asks you to. This is the fastest way to destroy any chance she has for an orgasm, due to the thousands of nerve endings packed into her tiny clit.

Applying your little vacuum cleaner is one of the most intimate things that you can do, in what is obviously a very intimate act, in that you are taking her most special areas in your mouth, including her hot, creamy fluids – which, I can assure you, are extremely arousing for you both, and quite tasty, particularly when you share a kiss, and she tastes her own pussy on your mouth. God, I can almost cum at the thought of how hot that is, as I type this!

Sadie Hawkins’ Revenge

This is really fun, because you’re going to let her fuck your "pussy" with her "cock"!

Fold your tongue into a tube (if you can, apparently some people can’t), then slowly enfold her clit inside the end of your tongue-tube, rhythmically fucking onto her little cock, her clit with your hot, wet pussy. This is extremely arousing to a woman, due again to the thousands of nerve endings in her clit (cock) rubbing inside your tongue (pussy). In addition, of course, this is so hot because of the reversal of sex roles – women secretly love the thought of being the fucker on occasion, rather than the fuckee, if you will.

It doesn’t hurt if at some point immediately afterward during your lovemaking, you whisper in her ear how hot it was for you to let her fuck your "pussy," and how nice her "cock" was – lose those inhibitions, guys, and she will too!

Love Letters

This is fun, and educational, too! Simply pretend that the tip of your tongue - make it pretty stiff but wet - is the tip of a pen, and trace the shape of letters of the alphabet all over the upper and lower parts of her inner vulva – that is, the area of her labia, pussy and clitoral area. You can do the letters in any order you like, you can even write "words." One girlfriend and I love to write ‘love letters’ to each other this way, though I confess I lose track after three or four letters of the first word, as I’m too busy cumming. This may be typical!

"Oh Peter, this is so silly, but okay. &ltpause&gt First letter is "I." That was so simple. &ltpause, giggle&gt Second letter – oooh – umm, is "L." &ltlong pause, moan&gt Oh god, do that again...yess, like that...umm, that’s – fuck – "O." Ah, that’s nice, "V," I think I know where you’re going with this, you tease...oh god god god shit fuck I’m cumming, baby, cumming in your mouth, lick my pussy, eat my cunt &ltunintelligible&gt..."

His (or her) tongue is so unpredictable as to where it will go, that a woman has no choice to be surprised and delighted by the unexpected pleasure. The movements are rhythmic, as they always should be in sex, but where they will be experienced is almost totally unpredictable to the woman, and always a very pleasant surprise. And women love pleasant surprises!

Ascend Into Heaven

Have you ever teased a woman by running the head of your cock up and down her tight slit, from the top to the bottom, smearing your hot, creamy pre-cum just at the entrance of her pussy, until she demanded that you shove your hard dick deep inside, filling her pussy excitingly, and making her cum instantly?

There’s a similar technique with your tongue, licking along the thin slit of her labia, just where her sweet, wet pink interior peeks out, inviting you. Slowly lick up and down her wet slit, adding the wetness of your saliva – and if everyone’s doing their part, the taste and smell of her excited pussy ought to be making your taste buds work overtime.

You can use two fingers of one hand to close her pussy lips, not allowing you in too deep, then gradually lessen your grasp to allow your cock-tongue to sink deeper inside her wet, silky hot paradise, still licking up and down along her smooth slit. Of course, her hips are likely to be shifting around as she reacts to the hot pleasure along her pussy, so you’ll have to adjust to that.

Variations to this include light flicks to her clitoral area on your upward strokes, and ‘sewing’ along her pussy, going from side to side with shifts of pressure as you simultaneously move up and down her opening.

Nosy, Nosy, Nosy

Nature has been very kind to the "cunning linguist" in placing our noses a few inches above our mouths (and tongues.) Why? Because it is possible, and desirable, to stimulate both your lover’s clitoris and her pussy at the same time, with only a little extra effort. And from a selfish point of view, it’s fantastic to taste her slick, wet pussy with your tongue, inhale her hot pussy fragrance with your nose, and feel her anxiously trying to bump her receptive clit against your nose as she cums, again and again and again.

If you’ve ever been embarrassed because you have a big nose, believe me, it is a positive asset in this position. I have a boyfriend who boxed in college. His somewhat misshapen (but still cute) nose tickles me like none other when he’s eating me out, and I never fail to cum when he’s licking me.

You can lick her pussy and rub your wet nose over her clit at the same time, which can be a little tricky at first, or you can simply caress her clit with the tip of your nose (gently and lightly) while your tongue is resting a little bit. Cunnilingus is awesomely fun, but it does wear out the ligament at the base of the tongue, and it can hurt you if it’s overworked, so pace yourself, and let your nose have some of the fun!

Lip Locking the Nanny

Just as the name would imply, with this technique you’ll use your lips, and not your tongue at all. Your lips should be smooth – not chapped or cracked. And importantly, they should be moist if not wet. It’s one of the reasons that a woman wearing lipstick kissing me down there is so much better than a chick who works construction, with her invariably cracked and chapped, rough lips, though they both have their advantages.

Kissing is everything to a woman. I’m certain that if you asked the average woman, what one sexual practice she would want, if all others were taken away, she’d reply more often than not, "kissing." It is just so sensual, so intimate, so romantic and giving, that it expresses both sex and love, and women will always prefer love. So, cunnilingus which is expressed through a kiss, not the lick from a tongue, will edge out the (admittedly delightful) lick almost every time.

Kiss her pussy, kiss her labia, kiss her clit – you are telling her that it is passion driving you to her, not sex.

The Insolent Tongue

Having said the foregoing, there definitely is a time and a place for avoiding the gentle kiss of your lips, and using other means. For example, if the woman knows for certain that your passion for her is real, you needn’t emphasize it in every single way that you make love – you have the freedom to take other roles, even contradictory ones, as can be found in role play between a married couple.

He can be the cruel jailer who ‘abuses’ an innocent traveler arrested in error. Being sweet to her would be out of character, he’s expected to be cruel – that’s why the couple plays!

So he teases and tortures her wet and swollen clitoris with his tongue, nonetheless keeping his touch gentle and moist – while he can play at ‘hurting’ her, he really only wants to stimulate her – the tongue lashing against and over her vulva is a mild insult to her. Imagine someone licking your nose or ear, as opposed to them kissing it. One is stimulating, crude and (hopefully) sexual, the other, an expression of passion, fondness and love.

Avoid her clit itself, though, until she has reached the beginning of her explosion. The feathery touch – repeat feathery, light as a feather touch – of the tip of your tongue across her swollen clit will send her over the edge into a phantasmagoria of pleasure – if you are careful, and considerate, and know your female partner’s likes and dislikes.

But, be very, very careful when applying tongue to clit, please!

Tempest in a Teapot

This is a simple technique, certainly easy to remember and do. Simply start to either side of her clitoral hood, and sweep or ‘feather dust’ to the other side, rhythmically, back and forth. You can vary the pressure and speed, but never put too much pressure on her. It’s usually best to start slow, then build speed, but in any case, you’ll need to take your time – a woman’s passion builds, it’s not a light switch you can turn on (though you can certainly turn it off if you’re clumsy or inconsiderate.)

You may want to try upward and downward strokes, but beware - upward strokes can scrape under her clitoral hood and irritate her clit itself. If you try it, be very sensitive to her reaction and abandon it immediately if it’s negative.

Spiraling Into Pleasure

This, too, is a fairly simple technique, but it can pay off with great results with little effort on your part. Touch her vulva to either side of her clit, and then swirl the tip of your tongue like the second hand on a clock, around and around. Of course you can go in either direction, you can flatten your tongue broadly, or touch her with just the tip, you can vary the speed, whether from slow to fast to slow again, it is simply important to do it in a rhythmic way, not jerky and to use a feathery touch, not drag your tongue as though you were excavating for a swimming pool. She will perceive your touch differently, depending on where your tongue is at any given time – the closer you are to her exposed clit, the greater her sensation. And where is that? At the 6 o’clock position, where there is no clitoral hood.

Sucking it Up!

This is similar to the technique in Passion Sauvage, except that it is specifically for her clit itself. She has to be completely ‘warmed up’ to get to this point, or you may find her on the ceiling when you try it. Don’t try it too early, and don’t try it when she’s already cumming, it may throw her off her own internal rhythm. Lightly and gently suck on her clit, then release rhythmically, instead of just sucking lightly on it. Again, light sucking only.

You may want to consider slowly, lightly, gently stroking your tongue over her clit while it’s in your mouth – but watch out, while it might not seem like much to you, she’s going to feel an intense set of sensations!

Whirlpool of Desire

If you’ve had cunnilingus before reading this, it may often seem that all pussy licking is "messy." I certainly hope so! If you’ve done well, her pussy is creaming sweet, hot fluids that end up all over your face, mouth and whatever surface you happen to be on. In addition, you may find yourself swallowing her internal lube, and if you’re especially fortunate, she’s a "squirter," in which case everything and everyone involved will be both wet and satisfied.

With this technique, you’re going to place your face flat against her pussy, and chow down, tongue and lips caressing, licking, kissing everything you can find, particularly lapping up her fluids and exchanging them for your own (saliva.) You’ll want to get right in there, which involves lewdly spreading her legs – often, she’ll be more comfortable if you gently push her legs back towards her breasts and face, exposing and spreading her pussy fully for your attention.

I like this position for several reasons. One, it makes the woman feel very lewd and dirty, like a complete sex animal used to slake my lust. Two, it makes her not responsible for the filthy, slutty position that she finds herself in – but that she absolutely loves. And third, for me, I love another woman’s ass hole under my mouth, too – but maybe that’s a subject for another guide!

Chances are, if she really doesn’t like it, she’ll tell you. But if she does like it, it’s a lot of fun (and mess) for you both. Don’t try this if you’re having cunnilingus as a lunch break from the office, however, unless you want to return to your co-workers smelling like hot, aroused pussy.

The Cool Breeze

You’ve no doubt seen a variation of this in the movies, whether mainstream or adult, where an ice cube is held in the hand or between the lips, and brushed over the woman’s lips, or her nipples, giving her a sensation of cold and, paradoxically, heat. It is a very powerful way to arouse a woman, and it’s no less so when applied to her vulva.

It’s best to use an ice cube that’s already partly melted – it’s moist and slippery, and also less likely to stick to her body. A ‘too frozen’ cube can give her a slight case of frostbite, hurt her and end up with you being thrown out, so...a wet and partially melted cube is way better.

Go ahead and use it as you’ve seen in the movies – rub it lightly over her hot lips, it’ll draw out her tongue, making her feel and look even more sexy. Then around her nipples, perking them up and stiff if they’re not that way already. She’s seen those movies, too, and will be charmed that you thought of it, but she’ll be surprised when you ‘skate’ the cube down her body with your mouth, around her bare navel, and continue downward, there to use the cube as you would the tip of your tongue – along labia, over her vaginal opening (be careful not to lose it there, inside, she will not like that!) and then around, and over her clitoral hood.

Remember that a brief, instantaneous touch of the half-melted cube is exciting and enticing. Leaving it in place for more than a second or two is numbing, and possibly painful – and not in a good way, either. So don’t do that.

Additional Techniques

Hand Use in Cunnilingus

Your hands – specifically, your fingers – are an absolutely divine way to complement the pleasure that your tongue and lips are bringing her. Most of us have ten digits, and one tongue, so don’t overlook their ability of those fingers to help in your partner’s seduction and pleasure.

The absolutely most divine way to bring her to orgasm involves your tongue practicing the techniques you learned earlier around and on her vulva, while your fingers are stimulating her g-spot inside. Just keep at the front of your mind two very important details:

- She needs to be wet inside. If you watch one woman use her fingers on another woman’s clitoral area, you’ll see her lick her fingers first. Why? Because we’ve all been touched there by somebody who used dry fingers – dry, high friction, probably calloused fingers. The pain is real, the sensory overload is way too much. Wet, slippery fingers are best, preferably with our own body’s lubricant, but water-based lubes, or saliva can work, too. There’s no such thing as ‘too much’ lubricant!

- Use your fingers slowly, gently, tenderly. Pretend that her pussy is filled with nitroglycerin. One false move and one of you will blow up, and not in a good way. Our bodies are sensitive. We don’t like fingers jammed up inside us. We do generally like a finger slowly caressing us inside, followed by a second after we’ve gotten used to the first. Depending on the woman, more fingers might be okay, but honestly, you can do everything you need to do with two fingers.

- Your fingernails need to be perfect, and your hands and fingers scrupulously clean. No hangnails, jagged nails, long nails or dirt under the fingernails. Would you want somebody’s dirty fingers going into your mouth? Well, she doesn’t want somebody’s yucky fingers going into her pussy, okay? Also, no rings or other hardware – that stuff hurts!

The G-Spot

The G-Spot is not nearly as mysterious as people have made it out to be, and finding it is pretty simple. It’s basically located inside the vagina, behind where the woman’s clit is located. About the size of a quarter, it responds to gentle stroking – no frenzied pawing is necessary, caressing is much better than poking. Some women won’t feel anything special there, other women will orgasm from having it stroked.

While your mouth is busy on her clitoral area, your fingers slowly slide in and out of her wet pussy, with your palm facing towards you (the back of your hand facing her). That allows your fingers to bend perfectly to caress her g-spot. It’s located just behind her clit, inside her pussy. I liken it to being about where the rear view mirror is on your car. Softly caress the thickened patch you may find there. If you’re fortunate, she’ll experience two different kinds of orgasms at once. Both are wonderful and very satisfying, and she will never forget what you did for her!

Twisting your fingers as you slide in and out of her, allowing the tips of your fingers to caress her vaginal walls, will increase her pleasurable sensations also. Fingers are for inside the pussy. The tongue is for the clit.

Toys

Sex toys are lots of fun, and if you didn’t realize it, almost every woman has one or more, and may often use it for self-pleasure, for those times when fingers aren’t enough. And sadly, it’s physically impossible for women to use their tongues on their own clits!

Toys during cunnilingus are probably better for partners who have been together for a while, as an addition to spice things up. Whipping out sex toys the first time you’re with a woman is probably too much, like the only child who gets 50 Christmas presents – you don’t need to use your entire inventory of tricks on the first date, or what will you have left for next time?

Of course, if they’re her sex toys, then that’s fine. She feels comfortable with those, and as with the unorgasmic woman, they may be essential to her cumming, as she’s conditioned herself to their use.

There are two types of basic toys that can be used during cunnilingus, under the heading of vibrators, and dildos.

- Vibrators - Vibrators, aka ‘neck massagers’ and ‘back massagers,’ come in a variety of shapes and power sources – battery and plug-in. Adult novelty stores have a wide selection, and these are all available, completely anonymously through the internet. Use your favorite search engine, using the term ‘vibrators’, and I guarantee you that you’ll find no end of companies that want to sell you one (or more.) If and when she gets really serious about vibrator use, there are plug in "wands" that just amazingly do the trick.

This kind of purchase works out better if she’s involved. By all means, talk to her before even looking. If she buys in from the beginning, she’ll be more enthusiastic about its use during your playtime. These are intended for use outside of her pussy.

- Dildos - Dildos, which are intended for use inside her pussy (and there are also versions for her ass, and mouth), come in a fantastic array of sizes and shapes, from small, egg-shaped, vibrating models to giant, passive silicone or latex erect penises. Some even squirt!

Again, she needs to be involved from the beginning. If she’s reluctant to try one, do not push it. Chances are, if she suggested a dildo to put in your ass, you might hesitate too, and would resent it if she forced it on you. She may come around, eventually, but take it slow and gently. These are also available at ‘adult novelty’ stores, and through the internet.

Remember that your tongue is the star of a cunnilingus session, and that toys are simply an adjunct, a tool to assist the event. Toys should never be used directly on the clitoris, unless you want to end your sex play immediately and have the woman furious with you. Vibrators, and even the pressure of a dildo, on the sensitive nerve endings of a woman’s clit can seriously hurt, Vibrators can be used in the clitoral area – again, not on the clit itself. Pay attention to her reactions as you use it.

Variety and Positions

There are quite a number of different positions that can be used to bring total pleasure to a woman through cunnilingus. And as wonderful a sexual practice as it is for both partners, it is pleasant to be able to vary the approach over time, to keep it fresh and exciting, as is true of all sex play.

If we were all condemned to, say, the missionary position of conventional penis-in-vagina intercourse, it might lose its attraction in fairly short order for one partner, if not both. But varying every aspect of sex brings spice that can render a somewhat bland meal into a gourmet repast.

Look these over, think about them – if they appeal to you and your partner, try them! Be sure that a position doesn’t exceed any physical limitations, and enjoy yourselves. If at any point a position feels uncomfortable, or painful, stop. You can always try that position some other time, when circumstances better allow it.

I can tell you that the wide variety of sexual positions carried into your relationship, can lighten up what might have become almost drudgery, or at least boring.

"Jimmy talked me into letting him eat me – you know, licking my pussy. I was very reluctant at first. I mean, what if I smelled bad, or farted while he was down there, or if I just wouldn’t like it? He explained to me that we don’t go to the same beach on vacation every year, because after a while there’s no surprises left, and shouldn’t we try to bring some new things in our love life, too?

That kind of made sense, and honestly, the rest of the stuff we’d tried wasn’t really getting me very excited – role playing, and all that. No matter how I tried I couldn’t pretend he was a burglar, or whatever. So we tried that – the pussy licking – I mean, he tried it, I’m not going to lick a girl – and it was so amazing! He found places on me that I didn’t even know do things.

Oh sure, I masturbate, and I’m not an idiot, I know that my clit’s made for fun. But the ways that he touched me there – with his tongue, and lips – it was just amazing. That really made me happy, especially because he loves licking me maybe even more than I like it – and I like it a lot!

All those things I worried about, I shouldn’t have. Jimmy tells me that we’re going to try different positions, although the one he’s been using is working very well." – Stephanie, 27

Traditional

The most popular position is probably this one, with the woman flat on her back, with her legs drawn up and feet close to her butt. This position exposes her pussy for easy access, and can lead to deeper types of oral pleasuring if both partners are so inclined. The drawback is that the giving partner will have their head canted at an awkward angle if it goes on for a long time, leading to neck discomfort and stiffness, if not pain. Placing a pillow under her bottom may lessen the discomfort, try it and see.

Women who desire a deeper tonguing often will lift their feet off the mattress (or surface on which they are lying) and place them on the partners back or shoulders. This often contributes to a feeling of lewdness on the woman’s part, as she is actively opening herself to her partner. Some women might be a little shy about it, but frankly, if it helps her feel sluttier, it’s likely to help loosen her up emotionally, and thus make it easier for her to cum.

An even more uninhibited version of this position, has the woman’s legs against her breasts, opening both her pussy and her anus for tonguing. If she accepts this position – and not all women will – and you’re receptive to the idea of licking both of her openings, be careful of the order in which you do this. Transferring bacteria or microorganisms from the natural environment of her anus, can cause havoc when introduced to her vagina. The reverse order, i.e., licking her pussy, then her anus, would avoid these problems. Be sure to check with her at all times, though. You really, really want her buy in – if she’s not comfortable with what you’re doing, she’s not going to have fun.

And if she’s not having fun...well, you can guess the rest.

Cunnilingus is a mutual act – make sure that you’re both very comfortable and at ease with it.

"Oh god, whatever you do, don’t do it like this. My boyfriend was eating my cunt, while I had my eyes closed, looking up at the ceiling. I was cumming like never before. He was making me scream out all kinds of nasty, but kinda hot things, like ‘Eat my hot fucking pussy!’ and, ‘I’m fucking cumming, lick my cream, then kiss me!’ when my husband walked in on us. Maybe if I wasn’t cumming so much, I would have heard him at the front door. Honestly, we were lucky to get out alive." - Maria, 24

The Cliff’s Edge

This position is much like the "Legs Up," except the woman’s legs are flat, or close to flat on the surface she’s lying on. She then controls access to her pussy far more than she would in the first position, and can ‘nudge’ her partner to change position or make other changes she desires. For the giving partner, it’s likely to cause even more neck discomfort than the "Legs Up," and frankly it’s harder for him to get face down in her pussy.

It’s probably not one of the most popular positions for either partner, due to limitations on access to much of the woman’s more interesting features, and the lessened ability to bring pleasure to both partners, but it may help a woman to feel as though she has some control over the act, not a minor consideration for some women.

"My English is not that good, but I like men and women both, they are very hot and make me wet and excited. The very best I feel is the licking of me, my pussy and even back there (giggles, and points to her ass) by both. Women are good on my pussy, but men like my butt best (laughs)." – Caprice, 19 (adult model)

Soixante-Neuf

You may know this position more popularly as "69," or soixante-neuf. Of course, that’s head to toe, or more precisely, head to crotch. Since this is a guide to cunnilingus, we won’t discuss the woman’s mouth on a man’s body, but only a man’s mouth on the woman’s vulva. One partner’s head will be at one end of the bed, the other partner’s head on the other end.

This position is not only pretty comfortable, it’s also maximum fun for both partners. Variations include side-by-side, woman on top, and man on top. In side-by-side, both partners are lying on their sides, mouth to crotch, and not bearing each other’s weight. It avoids the issue of supporting the other person, and also avoids possible claustrophobia concerns.

Woman on top is also common, and fairly comfortable on average, given a woman’s generally smaller size than a man. Most men don’t seem to have any problem with looking up into a woman’s pussy, and often prefer this position.

Male on top is probably the least common, again due to the male’s usually larger frame, but in cases of equally sized male and female partners, there may be little or no concerns with the male on top. Similarly, woman on woman in the "Backwards" position may often involve similarly sized partners intermittently switching positions as the mood strikes them.

In addition, options include one partner licking the other, or both licking each other simultaneously. This could involve cunnilingus with fellatio, or mutual cunnilingus in the case of two women.

The main drawback to mutual genital licking and kissing, is that it can be very difficult to concentrate on what you’re doing to and for your partner, when you are cumming yourself! One other great advantage to facing her feet instead of the more common position of facing her head, is that your tongue will be more often and easily stroking down from her mons toward her pussy, avoiding the irritation (to her) of stroking upwards and over the sensitive clit, as it’s still protected by the clitoral hood.

You’ll want to experiment with all of these variations – there are good reasons why this is one of the most common positions during lovemaking. It suits many needs and desires, and can easily bring great pleasure to both partners.

"I only do lesbian and solo gigs. Yeah, I like playing with myself for the camera, but I absolutely adore feeling another girl licking my pussy, and the taste, fragrance and feel of a girl’s hot and wet cunt on my face. Even more than that, girls just know way more about turning on another woman – they appeal to every sense, and pay attention to the ‘getting there’ more than just ‘being there’, you know what I mean? Am I a lesbian, lol, that’s STBD (Still To Be Determined)!" – Shayla (adult film actress)

Taking Her From the Rear

In this position, both partners are situated relative to each other similarly to their position in ‘Doggy Style’ intercourse, with the difference being that the rear partner’s face will be where either a penis or a dildo would be placed. The woman can be on all fours, either with head up, which does tend to restrict access somewhat to her vulva, or with head down on the mattress or pillow, which opens her up for greater access by the giving partner, inside her pussy and to her clit, though not as well there as in some other positions.

The woman will tend to feel very submissive in this position, which can certainly add to the excitement, as she may feel that she’s being "slutty." This has both positive and negative aspects – she may be shy and inhibited about it, or she may feel free to indulge wildly in sex. Conversation is always helpful to see how she’s feeling about it, as is paying attention to her movements and facial expressions when this position comes up.

The giving partner can position himself with his nose at the woman’s clit, and his mouth on her pussy (lying on his back), or crouched behind in a reversed position at her vulva, i.e., with his nose at her pussy and his mouth at her clit. Both positions have their advantages. Trying both positions out may result in discovering that the woman prefers one way over the other. The only way to know, is to try it!

"I thought it was kind of dirty at first. Matt was behind me, looking at my butt, and I thought he’d say something about it being fat. But when he pushed his face into my pussy, and started licking, I pretty much stopped thinking about that, it felt really good. I was kinda surprised when he pushed my face down into the pillow, but that’s when he started tonguing my clit, and god! I came, a couple of times!

He later told me that he really liked doing me that way, almost as much as fucking. P.S. He said he doesn’t think my butt is fat, it’s just right." – Cecilia, 39

SOMF

SOMF, aka ‘Sit On My Face,’ can be wildly exciting for a woman, because it puts her in complete control of, well, everything. Generally, she’ll be sitting upright, resting her body on her shins, with the man lying on his back, facing up at the front of her body. This places her vulva over his mouth, with his nose accessible to her clit and his mouth on her pussy, although of course, she can shift her body to receive the stimulation that she desires at any part of her vulva.

Men may also become excited by this position, as the submissive position he assumes is relatively unusual for the male in intercourse with a woman. It’s certainly easy for the woman to see how he’s taking it, by turning her head and looking at his penis! Still, just as talking about it helps a man understand how a woman perceives his attentions, the woman in this position should not just assume that the man loves it.

She can learn more about his feelings regarding this position, by making it part of the game:

"Do you like having my hot pussy on your face, baby? Do you like eating my hole, tasting my cum dripping in your mouth? Lick my cunt, stud, make me cum!"

Okay, I’m not sure whether he’ll be absolutely truthful then, or if he’ll even be able to respond verbally with a pussy on his face, but the men I’ve been with all tell me afterwards that they really like the "turnabout" of being dominated – however, I always give them the opportunity to dominate me afterward, so they don’t feel like I’m being a bitch.

There’s a really interesting communication that happens with both partners’ eyes in this position, since at least one partner may not be able to respond all that well otherwise. Watch for it, it’s very intimate and may help both partners feel a little closer (although having a woman sit on your face is already a rather intimate act!)

One concern about this position – the woman must not get so carried away that she actually suffocates her submissive partner! I’ve never heard of any casualties, but it’s conceivable that if you drive her that wild, she may not be as completely focused on her partner as she is on her own orgasm. That’s not a bad thing, but should be kept in mind. This is a really great position for a woman to think almost purely about her own pleasure – and that’s your goal in cunnilingus, right?

An interesting variation on this position – call it "Reverse Cowgirl," to borrow a phrase, will have the woman positioned over the man’s face, but facing towards his feet. This is also an exciting position for both, but movement of the woman’s pelvis can swing her ass over his face. Again, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing if both partners want it, but if a giving partner isn’t into the butt, he or she may object to having their partner’s ass in their face, even if only briefly and inadvertently.

In either position, if the giving partner is experiencing neck discomfort, a well-placed pillow can alleviate that. Remember that the woman can cant her body from any angle from nearly 180 degrees (lying back on her partner’s legs) to 90 degrees (sitting straight up on the partner’s face) to almost 0 degrees (bowing down to the mattress while still on her knees.) There are tons of variations to explore for both partners’ pleasure.

"I’ve been through a marriage and divorce, and a bunch of girlfriends since, but I never knew what I was missing until my current girlfriend, Beth. Oh, I’d licked pussy, but I didn’t really get a lot of positive feedback from the women I’d eaten, until Beth. She talked to me while she was sitting on my face, and pretty soon she was cumming like a fucking wild woman when I did what she suggested.

She got so satisfied, that she asked me if I liked the idea of inviting her best friend in bed with us, too. Would I? Shit, yeah! What guy doesn’t want to try a threesome? Her friend is really cute, too, and we’ve done it, I guess, a half dozen times, with me licking and fucking them both, then, after I cum, I watch them lick each other’s cunts, too. But I’ve got to tell you, being with two beautiful, uninhibited women is way better than Viagra – I’m good for two, sometimes three orgasms during those ‘dates,’ as Beth calls them.

The funny thing? Beth’s friend is married, and cheating on her husband. That guy just does not know what he’s missing. Do I feel guilty? What do you think?" – Jim, 41

Kneeling

In this position, the woman will be on her back near the edge of the bed, with the edge of the mattress somewhere between her butt and her knees. The man will be on his knees on the floor, with his face at her vulva. Obviously in what’s described as a ‘praying’ position. It may be a little difficult for the woman to find the very best position for her that also brings her vulva exactly to the edge, as it’s very awkward, if not impossible, to allow her legs to hang down while she’s flat on her back – although I suppose there are some gymnasts who could accomplish it! Generally, the man will need to lean forward a bit over the mattress, but if the woman spreads her legs sufficiently, this works very well.

The woman may find it a little more comfortable in this position to place one or both feet or legs on the man’s back, alleviating adverse pressure on her hip joints.

Soaring Through the Azure

This is much like the "Legs on Bed" or "Legs Up" positions, except that the man’s arms will be stretched out on the upper part of the woman’s body, caressing her breasts and nipples, and depending on the partners’ relative heights, playing with his fingers at her lips. It’s very erotic for both if he’s simultaneously penetrating her pussy with his tongue, with his finger(s) penetrating her mouth.

However, this position is not for amateurs or the easily distracted, as it requires both partners pay attention to two different areas of the body at the same time, while being pleasured at both points. Still, it’s a fun variation, but check with your partner afterward to see if they enjoyed it as much as you might have.

Dominatrix

A lot of men adore this position, I think because it’s both a little submissive, really hot, and it makes the woman look pretty slutty if she does it right. The woman leans back against the wall, with her hips pushed out, while the man kneels and licks her pussy.

She’s free to adjust her position to suit herself, and cumming is pretty easy, as long as she’s in the right frame of mind.

Another version of this has her standing, with one foot raised higher on a chair or ottoman or bed, exposing her pussy even more, and the man again kneeling between her legs, licking her. Of course, if you want to carry this over into S & M, the man can be wearing a collar and leash. This position certainly helps give a woman an increased self-confidence, with or without the collar and leash!

And a variation scenario that my boyfriends go wild with, is the "Coat Room." I’m dressed in a demure top, and a long, ankle length skirt with a long slit up the side, requiring the man to pull my skirt apart and pull my panties down to lick my wet pussy, and all the while I’m pretending to be the coat check girl at a restaurant or concert, standing in my lonely little booth with no one to keep me company but the hot man eating my cunt, while I make random conversation with the imaginary customers leaving or picking up their coats!

The Doctor is IN

This position is kind of freaky, but some women actually prefer it. Basically, you’re duplicating the position she will assume at her gynecologist’s office during an exam, but without the props like stirrups (the things she usually has to put her feet in when she spreads for the doctor.) In this version, the woman lies on her back with her legs spread and her knees up, feet either flat or elevated on pillows. Alternatively, you can use a table to duplicate the harder surface of an examination table. The man sits in a rolling chair (if you have one) and his tongue substitutes for the doctor’s speculum inserted inside her vagina.

Yeah, it’s definitely kinky, but some women really love it – I know I prefer a warm, wet tongue in my pussy a lot more than a cold, stainless steel tool!

"My husband and I play doctor sometimes. I love having him inspect all my holes, and he’s got the best cock and tongue for probing all of them!" – Liz, 37.

Circus Tent

I can’t vouch for this position, but it sounds like a lot of fun – you just need to be pretty strong if you’re supporting the woman. Basically, the woman will lie on her stomach on the bed, with legs hanging over the edge. The man kneels and slips her legs over his shoulders, then slowly rises up until he is either standing or sitting, with her thighs around his head, her pussy in his face, and her mouth at his crotch. You could visualize it like a standing 69.

You should be very careful if you decide to try this – the potential for disaster is very high if you get tired or can’t support her weight. Also, remember, the woman is hanging upside down, with blood flowing down into her head – that could cause a big headache if it goes on too long!

Warnings and Common Problems

Dry Vagina

Please understand that vaginal dryness commonly doesn’t have much to do with whether a woman is interested in you or not. Very often in my erotic writing I use ‘wetness’ as a metaphor for the degree of a woman’s interest and excitement, but that’s not necessarily reality all of the time.

##

"During Michael‘s caresses, after he had kissed her in a way no man had before, Lisa felt herself wetting, her pussy almost uncomfortable as her hot, silken cream oozed from her slit, staining her panties. She smiled, knowing that he would be cleaning up the fragrant, hot mess between her legs with his long, thick tongue. Her heartbeat became rapid, her nipples erect – she knew that she was going to get fucked, both royally and soon."

##

In real life, the most common reason for a woman’s vaginal dryness in spite of your best seduction techniques, is lowered estrogen production, which occurs normally several times during the month. Other reasons for this lowered estrogen level are: pregnancy and childbirth, menopause, emotional stress, from anti-depressant use, and many other reasons – none of which are likely to have anything to do with either your ability and technique as a lover, or with her interest level in you.

So please be understanding of this condition, and be prepared to help her overcome it. That way, you both benefit from improved and pleasurable sex, right?

The two courses of action that can be taken obviously involve her understanding of the condition, and desire to address it. For her part, the woman should stay hydrated during these occurrences. Drinking the recommended amount of water each day is good for weight control, as many women realize, but it also helps to keep skin soft and the vaginal canal moist. Other things that she should at least be aware of include an eating regimen that helps to balance her hormone levels (such as soy), and the availability of water-based vaginal lubricants.

Besides letting her know about dietary solutions, if she’s willing, you can suggest that application of vaginal gel be a shared activity, making it both fun and productive. Often, a woman will feel that she’s sharing herself with you when you both participate in applying lotions or gels whose function is to moisturize, so you might pick up some ‘caring’ points with her. I don’t recommend this for hemorrhoid creams, though...&ltsmile&gt

And if it hadn’t occurred to you, you certainly have an opportunity to help moisturize your woman’s vagina "naturally" yourself while performing cunnilingus, don’t you? Okay, then!

Vaginal Farts

Ordinarily, vaginal flatulence is an entirely normal and natural consequence of pumping air into the woman’s vagina as your cock moves in and out. Think of the old style air pumps that you used to pump up a football, basketball or bicycle tire. It’s the same ‘piston-and-cylinder’ principle.

It’s called a ‘queef,’ or ‘vaginal fart,’ and she’s probably a little embarrassed when it happens, though it’s completely harmless and certainly nobody’s fault. Try to avoid jokes, because, no matter how funny you think it is, she is going to see it as being the same as an intestinal fart, and we’re all embarrassed about those (or should be.)

If she’s really concerned, or if it happens a lot, there are some other conditions that can cause this, some of them serious, so she should see her doctor in those instances. A fistula, or a connection between the vagina and colon, is one serious condition that can sometimes cause this, with an accompanying odor, unlike common vaginal flatulence, which is odorless.

Kegel exercises are also useful in lessening the occurrence the normal vaginal flatulence, by strengthening the pelvic muscles. She probably already knows how to do those, and it’s fun to have her show them off to you when you’re naked together!

Women CAN Fake It

As you may have observed from "When Harry Met Sally," it’s not always easy to tell when a woman is faking an orgasm. The first question you might ask if you suspect someone is faking, is "Why"?

If you recall, statistics show that a large percentage of women do not orgasm, based on the lack of appropriate stimulation. I’m not pointing any fingers with that statement – sexual relations involve more than one person, and it’s the responsibility of everyone involved to do what they can to ensure orgasm for their partner(s), and themselves.

So, if a woman isn’t orgasming, she bears some responsibility to speak up and cooperate with her partner – not in pretending that everything is fine. Of course, women are often reluctant to do anything that would hurt their partner’s feelings, given that she must have an attraction and fondness for him on some level, as evidenced by having sex with him.

That’s not to say that all sex should result in orgasms every time for both. Sometimes people are tired, or thinking about some problem at work, or the starting lineup for the 1992 Chicago Cubs (ha ha), but people should be able to expect to orgasm at least a good part of the time.

If the reason for the failure to orgasm is because your partner is doing something wrong, or that turns you off, or that hurts, for goodness sakes, tell them. Sure, couch it in words that don’t hurt, but tell them, or expect that the problem never will be corrected – because the problem probably never will be corrected, until it becomes so big that even bigger problems develop.

Help your female partner to feel secure that she can tell you if she doesn’t orgasm, and especially so if it happens to be because of something that you can correct. In the long run, that’s a much better solution for the health of your relationship, than trying to cover up a problem.

If you suspect that she’s faking it, but doesn’t tell you so, please do not be an Inspector Clouseau, and grill her about your suspicions. Just let her know that if she ever has concerns in your relationship, she doesn’t need to fear about letting you know about them. And always try to be alert to the little signals that a woman gives when she has a problem, and wants you to know she has a problem without telling you. Listen, pay attention, hear what she’s saying, and eventually you’ll be talking about it, and she’ll reach a solution – she usually just wants you to listen and empathize, not necessarily solve!

Inability to Orgasm

Some women are unable to orgasm. This condition is called "anorgasmia." And some women can orgasm while masturbating, but not during intercourse. If that is the situation, it’s best, first of all, to be completely sympathetic, non-judgmental, and assistive where you can.

It may be best to replicate the conditions that she sets for herself while masturbating, for instance, lowered lights, candles, soft music, even porno if she uses that. If she can relax while you’re there, even forget you’re there, it’s all to the good. She can show you the techniques that she uses to excite herself, ie, fondling her breasts, caressing her clitoral area, squeezing a plush toy between her thighs, whatever. Many masturbation techniques come from our childhood, and may seem juvenile, even childish, but who cares? They work, right?

She may use toys, a vibrator or dildo. Whatever works for her is great. After she’s cum a few times with you in bed with her, ask her if you can try those techniques on her. With luck and practice, you can substitute as the pleasure giver in her mind, and you’re on your way to being at least one of her sources of orgasms.

Other reasons for anorgasmia are likely beyond your abilities as a lover, but patience and sympathy never is. Help her to reach out for professional sex therapy or counseling to set her on a solution to the absence of orgasms in her sexual life. Sometimes the solution will be medical – again, if you can be there for her and support her, that will help her in so many ways.

Sexually Traumatized Partner

Some women have experienced an event, or a series of events, in their lives that caused them trauma related to experiencing sex – some of those events are what most of us would consider horrific, such as rape and pedophilia. Others perhaps less so, but they all leave their scars on a woman’s psyche and make it difficult or impossible for her to experience sex, ranging from any aspect of sexual relations to merely being unable to achieve orgasm. But what they all have in common is the need for a partner to support and be there for the victim, and to encourage them to seek out professionals to help them conquer their pain, and to heal and to grow into their life.

I had a pretty sheltered life growing up, so I really can’t approach the issue with the insight of experience or of a professional therapist. I encourage you to support a woman who has experienced a traumatic sexual experience - trust and communication are the best things that you can do for her on the personal level.

Conclusion

In order to be sexually successful with women, you have to give them what they want and need. There are many ways to a woman’s heart, but the surest way is through cunnilingus, the art of pleasing a woman with your mouth. The estimated 100 hundred million American men and 10 million women who have tried and no doubt enjoyed the taste of pussy can’t be wrong!

And what looks and tastes more delicious than this? Enjoy!

Books by Melinda Holmes

Blow Her Mind

50 Shades of Better Sex

Blow His Mind

www.amazon.com/author/melindaholmes

About Melinda Holmes

Melinda Holmes is the author of numerous award winning fiction and non-fiction erotic stories and books. She writes about the relationship issues of sex and love that tantalize and excite men and women throughout the English speaking world. Her fans number in the millions, and can be found in all levels of society. Her breezy, light and easy take on the pleasurable battles of sexual combat charm thousands of readers daily.

A 1990s graduate of a religious college in the State of California in the United States, Holmes has come a long way from her restrictive upbringing to blast apart the strictures and bonds that prevent lovers from reaching their greatest sexual potential. Her writing, both humorous and hot, will leave you laughing even as you find your libido buzzing.

She has made numerous friendships in the erotic entertainment community, as well as intimate relationships with many of the men and women there, giving her unique insight into successful methods of achieving the pleasurable heights that each of us deserves.

Besides the plaudits of her many fans, her achievements in related fields include training in interpersonal relationships, marriage and relationship counseling, the psychology of fetish sex, and many professional writing awards. Her writing displays the insight, wisdom, experience, scholarship and most importantly, the innate sense of fun that make her works hard to put down and an entertainment whirlwind that you’ll be telling all of your friends about!

One Last Thing...

When you turn the page, Kindle will give you the opportunity to rate the book and share your thoughts on Facebook and Twitter. If you believe the book is worth sharing, would you take a few seconds to let your friends know about it? If it turns out to make a difference in their sex life, they'll be forever grateful to you. As I will.

Melinda Holmes

Copyright © 2012 Melinda Holmes

Images and Cover by Sensual Science Publishing

Atlanta, Georgia USA

Table of Contents

Words from Our Readers

Why You Should Read This Book

Forward and Author’s Profile

Uncovering The Mysteries of Cunnilingus

Pleasure from the Mastery of Cunnilingus

The Female Orgasm – Give Her More than Just One!

The Vulva – An Anatomical Pleasure Chest

The Mons Pubis

The Front Commissure

The Clitoral Shaft

The Clitoral Hood

The Clitoris

The Frenulum

The Labia Minora and Labia Majora

The Vaginal Opening

The Fourchette

The Perineum

Female Erogenous Zones

Hair

Neck

Ears

Lips

Breasts

Arms

Stomach

Along the Spine

Bottom

Vulva

Legs

Feet

Inside the body - G-Spot

Preparation

Hair

Shaving

Waxing

Laser Hair Removal

Depilatory Creams

The Male Partner and His Hair

Earning Your Red Wings – Yes or No?

Being Careful About Oral

Women Are NOT Balloons

Keeping Things Clean and Fresh

Hygiene products

Do It Right And Make Her Ask For It

Men and Women are Just NOT the Same

How to Proceed Successfully After Preliminaries are Done

Women are Men at Half Speed

Techniques

Foreplay

The Flutter of Angel Wings

The Snake Charmer

The Venus Butterfly

Passion Sauvage

Sadie Hawkins’ Revenge

Love Letters

Ascend Into Heaven

Nosy, Nosy, Nosy

Lip Locking the Nanny

The Insolent Tongue

Tempest in a Teapot

Spiraling Into Pleasure

Sucking it Up!

Whirlpool of Desire

The Cool Breeze

Additional Techniques

Hand Use in Cunnilingus

The G-Spot

Toys

Variety and Positions

Traditional

The Cliff’s Edge

Soixante-Neuf

Taking Her From the Rear

SOMF

Kneeling

Soaring Through the Azure

Dominatrix

The Doctor is IN

Circus Tent

Warnings and Common Problems

Dry Vagina

Vaginal Farts

Women CAN Fake It

Inability to Orgasm

Sexually Traumatized Partner

Conclusion

One Last Thing...