1 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,480 (doorbell ringing) 2 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:13,960 - What? - Hi, Mrs. Reynolds. 3 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,240 What do you want? 4 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,880 Frank sent me over to pick up his toupee. 5 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,520 - His toupee? - Yep. 6 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,320 What does he need his toupee for? 7 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,120 I think he has a date or something. 8 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,360 - Frank has a date? - Yeah, I guess. 9 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,160 Well, he can't have it. It's mine. 10 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,960 You own his hair? 11 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,040 All right, fine. It's in a box in the hallway. 12 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,720 I was gonna throw it away anyway. 13 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,200 I'm really sorry about this. I know it's probably a tough time for you. 14 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,840 Divorce is a tricky thing. Oh! I found it. 15 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,520 I got the hair now. 16 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,560 Found the hair. So I guess I'll just, uh, see myself out. 17 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,560 Right. Thank you for the hair. 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,480 Oh, shit. 19 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,960 FRANK: Wait till you see the hair. Is really authentic-looking hair. 20 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,480 - It looks good. - How do you know the chick, anyway? 21 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,080 Angie Spinola. High school. 22 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:46,560 Firecracker. Hung out all the time. 23 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,400 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, we did everything together. 24 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,080 Wild sex. Whoa! I mean... 25 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,160 - You name it, we did it. - Well, she sounds awesome. 26 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,760 They don't make women like Angie anymore. Tell you that right now. 27 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,360 Charlie, you gonna be okay, I leave you alone at the bar here? 28 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,720 I think things've been going pretty well since you put me in charge. 29 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,240 Right. Keep your fingers crossed. 30 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,320 What are you? 31 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,800 Why? Why would a person wipe their own shit onto a wall? 32 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,200 DENNIS: I don't know. (toilet flushes) 33 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,280 What are you doing? I thought you were cleaning the toilet. 34 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,720 What? Cleaning the toilet? No, that's what Charlie does. 35 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,240 I'm not doing Charlie work anymore. 36 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,560 Okay, Dad said we need to, so get back in there and clean the stall. 37 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:31,920 Dee, Dee. Will you take it easy? I got a plan to get us out of it. 38 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,880 You do? Oh, God, that's good news. What is it? 39 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,040 Well, let's just say I got a little date tonight, 40 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,120 and as soon as Charlie sees who it is, 41 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:45,080 no more Charlie work for me. - How does that help me? 42 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,960 - I guess it doesn't, really. - Mmm-mmm. It sure doesn't. 43 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,080 You know, you should come up with a plan just like I did 44 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,080 and then you can get out of Charlie work too. 45 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,160 Oh, you think I can't come up with a plan? (door closes) 46 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,720 - Hey! - Dennis, hey. 47 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,080 - Got something for you. - What? 48 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:08,720 Really? Wow! Oh, thank you. That's really nice. 49 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,320 - Can I take your coat? - Uh, are we staying here? 50 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,520 No, no. I just want to have a look at what you're wearing. 51 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,360 - Okay. - All right. 52 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:21,880 - So, what do you think? - Yeah, okay. 53 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,720 That'll work. Are you not wearing makeup? 54 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,160 - I'm wearing makeup. - Really? 55 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,600 - Yeah. - Do you have any more? 56 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,800 - No. I didn't bring makeup. - Mmm. 57 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:38,160 Uh, okay. That's all right. Let's go say good night to Charlie. Come on. 58 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,200 Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea. 59 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,280 Oh, no, no. He's totally fine with the situation. It's cool. Come on. 60 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,080 - Really? - Yeah, yeah. 61 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:47,920 Okay. 62 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,800 (door opens) (laughing) Hey, buddy. 63 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,360 Please knock if you're gonna be coming into my off... 64 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,600 What ya doin'? 65 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,360 I was doing some office stuff. 66 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,360 Well, listen, uh, we are gonna hit the town 67 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,720 so we just wanted to pop back and say good night. 68 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,720 Looks like you got everything under control back here. 69 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,920 Yeah, I do. 70 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,760 That's a nice house of cards, Charlie. 71 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,760 Actually, no. I was doing some business stuff 72 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,720 'cause I'm the manager now. - Great. Well, we're out of here. 73 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,280 - Don't work too hard okay, bud? - Good night, Charlie. 74 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,760 - Good night. - Could you give me one second? 75 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,080 Yeah. Thanks. 76 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,880 (chuckles) Okay, listen. Here's the deal. 77 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,560 Uh, I'm gonna bang her tonight, probably around 10:30 or so. 78 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,920 I really don't wanna do that, so all you have to do to stop me 79 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,240 s call my cell phone by 10:30 80 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,040 and say, "Dennis, you don't have to do Charlie work anymore." 81 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,360 - You're won't get away with this. - Oh, yeah, I will. 82 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,080 I'll get away with it. 10:30, okay? 83 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,480 10:30. 84 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:54,000 Gonna blackmail me? You gonna blackmail me, Dennis Reynolds? 85 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,840 - You ready? - I'm ready. Let's roll. 86 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,480 - Hey-o! What's up, buddy? - Hello. 87 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,840 - What's that? - It's your dad's hair. 88 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,840 - Gross. - Yeah. Is Charlie here? 89 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,120 Yeah, man. What's up with you? 90 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,840 - You seem flustered. - Where's Charlie? 91 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,080 - He's in the back office. - I wanna talk to him. 92 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,560 - Okay. Go talk to him. - Okay. 93 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,960 Great. Yeah. 94 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,960 - Uh... Bye, Dennis. - See ya. 95 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,760 Charlie, I have a real dilemma on my hands. 96 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,320 Normally I wouldn't talk to you about this 'cause you're unreliable, 97 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,360 but Dennis, Dee and Frank are all directly involved in this, 98 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,960 and I gotta tell somebody, man. I am bustin'. Okay. 99 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,560 Dennis's mom tried to have sex with me. 100 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,280 - Interesting. - She got naked, she came on to me. 101 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,800 I mean, that woman is straight crazy but I think I wanna bang her, man. 102 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,080 - I know I shouldn't do it. - I think you should do it. 103 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,040 - What? - An opportunity like this 104 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,960 only comes around once in a lifetime, right? 105 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,000 And so you'd be a fool to let it slip through your fingers. 106 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,800 Yeah, that's what I'm thinkin', but it's Dennis and Dee's mom. 107 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,320 Well, that means that no one ever, ever is gonna find out. 108 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,120 - That doesn't make sense. - It doesn't have to make sense. 109 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,840 You're right. I'm gonna do it. (both laughing) 110 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,480 - Okay. Okay. Oh, this is good. - This is good. 111 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,680 I gotta meet Frank. I gotta give him his hair. 112 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,640 You go, 'cause I gotta plot, and I gotta think. 113 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,400 - Great. - Get outta here. God, this is good! 114 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,040 Dennis's mom. Yes, he is. 115 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,040 - I'm busy. - I want my job back. 116 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,360 - Look, I'm... What? - I want my job back. 117 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:24,520 Well, I'm... 118 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,280 And you shall have it. 119 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:32,600 Oh, Dee. 120 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,200 It looks like we both need things from each other. 121 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,320 I am not having sex with you, Charlie. 122 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,080 No. It's not sex I want from you. 123 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,080 It's sex I don't want from Dennis. 124 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,320 Hmm? 125 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,640 Mmm. So you gotta tell me about all the shit you been gettin' into. 126 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,480 You must have a police record a mile long. 127 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,280 - Oh, God. No. - Don't be modest now. 128 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,320 You remember all the shit we used to get into? 129 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,080 You remember that night in the graveyard? 130 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,640 - How could I forget? - That slab was cold, baby. 131 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,800 And remember the time we robbed a motorcycle and ran it into a river? 132 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,400 Well, you must be doin' shit like that now, huh? Come on. 133 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:18,520 Well, I've slowed down quite a bit once I met my husband, Carl. 134 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,560 Oh, you told me you weren't married. 135 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,440 Oh, I'm not. Carl passed a few years ago. 136 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,600 Once I met him and had kids, I pretty much stayed at home. 137 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,760 Carl had two children from a previous marriage 138 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,120 and then we had five of our own. 139 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,880 Oh, shit. 140 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,840 Hi. I'm Jenny. I'll be your server this evening. 141 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,440 Are you ready to order, or do you need some more time? 142 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,720 Well, I think we need just a little more time. 143 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,240 Okay, I'll be back in a second. 144 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,120 - Isn't having children a blessing? - What? 145 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,680 Isn't having children such a blessing? 146 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,960 - What the hell you talking about? - Well, I mean, when Carl passed, 147 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,040 my children were an enormous source of strength. 148 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,160 - I mean, I thought... - Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. 149 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,480 - Angie, I'm gonna have to stop you. - I'm sorry? 150 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,080 - This is not gonna work out. - What's not going to work out? 151 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:10,280 - You, me, talking like this. - Why? What's wrong? 152 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:14,520 For starters, you've got kids and shit. And you talk about 'em. 153 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,160 You talk about your kids, you talk about your dead husband. 154 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,160 - It's kind of bummin' me out. - Oh, you know, I'm sorry. 155 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,240 It's not your fault. Just, maybe... I think you're too old for me. 156 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,920 Frank, I'm two years younger than you. 157 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,520 That's what I'm talkin' about. 158 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,200 - I had a really good time tonight. - I had a good time too. 159 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,440 - Okay, what's the deal with that? - What? 160 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,480 Why do you keep checking your cell phone? 161 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,720 I've just been, I've been expecting an important phone call. 162 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,800 - I'm sorry. - Right. No, good luck with that. 163 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,080 Wait, wait, wait. Don't... Don't go. I wanna go inside. 164 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,000 No. I'm not gonna ask you inside, Dennis. 165 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:54,960 - Why not? - Because I really like you. 166 00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:00,200 Well, yeah. I mean... I really like you too. 167 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,680 - Then let's take it slow, okay? - Oh... Oh, wait. 168 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:11,240 Uh... I love you. 169 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,960 (laughs) I kind of don't know what to say. 170 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,880 I kind of don't want you to say anything. 171 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,280 (cell phone ringing) Oh, uh, hold that thought. 172 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,600 - Yo. CHARLIE: I'm ready to talk. 173 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,400 Cuttin' it pretty close there, pal. I almost sealed the deal. 174 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:35,000 Just meet me at Paddy's and we'll work it all out. 175 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,000 (laughs) Sorry about, uh... 176 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,960 I feel like maybe I was being a little judgmental. 177 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,080 - You're good. - Okay. Well, let's go. 178 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,160 No. You were right. I should, I'm gonna go. 179 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,000 Yeah. I'm gonna go now. We should take it slow. You were right. 180 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:59,400 Really? Because I don't need to now. 181 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,920 I think it's good. I think it's real good. 182 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,920 Call me. (chuckles) 183 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:09,800 Charlie? 184 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,960 You called just in the nick of time, buddy. I was... 185 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,560 Looks like we got a blown fuse in here. 186 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,040 Better get on that. Blown fuses count as Charlie work. 187 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:24,400 Oh, I don't think I'll be changing any fuses any time soon. 188 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,880 I know something you don't know. 189 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,560 That was, like, the best sex I've ever had, Mrs. Reynolds. 190 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,680 - Like something magical happened. - Hmm? 191 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,560 I was just saying that that was, like, so special, and... 192 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,040 I mean, it was like magic. 193 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,160 You're not gonna start talking about your feelings and shit, are you? 194 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,720 No. Gay. 195 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,680 No. It's just that, I mean, unless you want to, 'cause... 196 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,080 No. 197 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,880 I got a better plan. 198 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,080 Okay. All right. So can I call you sometime? 199 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,360 - I have your number, right? - No, I don't think so. 200 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,080 Well, I know how to find you. Why don't we just leave it at that? 201 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,680 All right. Did I do something wrong? I mean, was the sex bad? 202 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,160 - Don't worry about it. - I can make adjustments. 203 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,680 'Cause I've had to do that before, and it hasn't been a problem. 204 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,400 - I'm shutting the door now. - If I could have a kiss goodbye 205 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,840 that would be really great for me. 206 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,640 If I gave you a kiss goodbye, would you let go of the door? 207 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,000 - Yeah. - Fine. 208 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,680 Oh, my God. 209 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,440 - Oh! - Yeah. It's a terrible thing. 210 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,280 It's a terrible thing for you to see that. 211 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,680 - I'm gonna kill him. - No. No. Wait, wait, wait. 212 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,440 What are you gonna do, punch him in the face? Throw him? Work the body? 213 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,240 That's not gonna help. No, no, it's not gonna help. I'll tell you why. 214 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,040 It doesn't un-bang your mom. No, you gotta do something worse. 215 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,400 Something much, much worse. 216 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,520 You're gonna have to bang Mac's mom. 217 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,080 MAN (on TV): I thought I was. 218 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,720 - Hi. - What? 219 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,440 I'm looking for Mrs. Mac. Is she in? 220 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,440 - Yeah. - I'm a friend of her son's. 221 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,040 - I know you, Dennis. - Oh. 222 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,640 Oh, my God. Oh. 223 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,040 It's been a long time. 224 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,880 Haven't seen you in a while. You look different. 225 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,880 - I've gained a little weight. - Is that what it is? 226 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,360 - Looks good on you. - Yeah. 227 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:38,520 Yeah. 228 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,040 Do you mind if I sit? 229 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,960 So. Watching a little TV outside, huh? 230 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,440 I like the fresh air. 231 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,320 Probably gets a little lonely, though, every once in a while, 232 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,440 watching TV out here by yourself. (chuckles) 233 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,720 Every once in a while you probably want a man, right? 234 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,880 (exhales) Someone to fulfill your desires. 235 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:06,880 Oh. 236 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,800 Not interested. 237 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,720 Don't fight it, Mrs. Mac. 238 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,840 Why don't we go inside and have a little fun? 239 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,400 - Don't find you attractive. - What? 240 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,440 I think you're an ugly man. 241 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,520 - You think I'm ugly? - Yeah. 242 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,280 - I'm not ugly. You're ugly. - Yeah. 243 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:37,360 Jesus Christ. What is wrong with you, woman? 244 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,800 You're saying that I'm... You don't find me attractive? 245 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,000 - No. - You're not gonna have sex with me? 246 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,240 - No. - It's ridiculous. I'm out of here. 247 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,160 Wait. What? What just happened? 248 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,920 I think you know exactly what just happened. 249 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:57,240 No. No, come on. He did not try to have sex with that woman. 250 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,400 He did, 'cause he's a dirty, dirty pervert. 251 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:03,520 - I'm... I'm so confused. - Really? Are you? I can help you. 252 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,560 Don't trust him. - But... 253 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,880 (cell phone ringing) Uh-oh. Excuse me. 254 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,120 - I need to get this. - Okay. 255 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,400 Can you pop out real quick? (ringing continues) 256 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:14,760 - Really? - Yeah. It's personal. 257 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,400 You don't want to be rude, so... Excuse me. 258 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,280 - Oh, my God. - Thanks. 259 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,040 - Yeah. CHARLIE: How we doin'? 260 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,400 - Cat's in the cradle. - Good, good, good. 261 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:28,920 Time to move to phase two. 262 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,880 There is no phase two. I'm not doing phase two. 263 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,400 I did everything you said. And it's over. 264 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,040 This isn't over until I say it's over! 265 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,640 God. Sorry. Okay. Relax, dude. 266 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,160 One more phase. That's it. 267 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,920 (on machine) This is Barbara. Leave a message. 268 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,960 (beeps) Hey, uh... Not answering my calls. 269 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,800 I get it. You're busy. You're busy. It's a busy time of the week. 270 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,760 Um, listen, I think you should give me a call back 271 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,240 because I know what you're afraid of. 272 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,760 You think Frank and Dennis are gonna find out, 273 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,400 but they're not gonna find out anything, okay? 274 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,440 I'm gonna keep my mouth shut on this one. 275 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,520 And I know that you know that the sex was good, right? 276 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,120 So I think maybe we should... (knocking at door) 277 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,760 There's somebody at the door. I'm just gonna ignore it. 278 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,080 I think that maybe we should get together... (pounding at door) 279 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,640 They sound pissed. Listen, I'll give you a call back. Right. 280 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,520 - Let's go for a ride. - Why? 281 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,000 Grab your coat. We're goin' for a ride. 282 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,720 - Are you going to kill me? - What? No. 283 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,800 I just wanna go out and pick up some younger chicks 284 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,240 and I need a wing man for that. Come on. Let's roll. 285 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,400 (disco playing) How about the two out there on the dance floor? 286 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,280 - Go on. Go on, break the ice. - Oh, come on, man. 287 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,600 - Come on, man. Go. Go. - All right, all right. 288 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,120 Hey, how ya doin'? I like your top. Lookin' good. Mac. 289 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:42,960 - Hi. - Hi. I'm Frank. 290 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,360 Wanna get down? Huh? 291 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,520 What happened? What did you do? 292 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,600 What are you talking about, what did I do? What was that little move? 293 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,720 That move always works with the ladies. 294 00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,800 Frank, you have never gotten a chick with that move. 295 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,760 What are you talkin' about? That's how I got my wife. 296 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,920 - Really? - Yeah, don't go blamin' the move. 297 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,360 The move works. 298 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,000 So, uh, what other kind of things worked on your wife? 299 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,920 - She likes money. - So she likes money and dancing. 300 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,280 Can we stop talking about my wife for a second here? 301 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,240 You're killin' the vibe. Let me see now. 302 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,880 Over there. Try the move. 303 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,560 You hang over here, this side. I... 304 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:30,560 Hello, hello, hello. I'm Frank. Remember? 305 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:36,480 #Go, go for it Go for it, ooh 306 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:40,160 #Go for it, go for it. Ooh# 307 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,640 Where'd he go? Mac! 308 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,600 (knocking at door) Go away. 309 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,800 - We need to talk. - Dee, now's not a good time. 310 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,760 Charlie is making me have sex with him to get out of Charlie work. 311 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,040 - What? - Yeah, I know. Really gross. 312 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,240 Am I the only one around here who's not getting laid? 313 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,280 Dennis, Charlie is forcing me to have sex with him. 314 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,440 Mac's getting laid. You're getting laid. 315 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,680 Now, even Charlie's getting laid? This makes me look terrible. 316 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,120 Well, you know what? This is all Charlie's fault. 317 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,800 None of this would be happening if Dad didn't put him in charge. 318 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,280 You're right. 319 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,840 - I'm gonna kill him. - No, no. Whoa. 320 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:25,080 You gotta do something worse than that. Something much, much worse. 321 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:27,920 (doorbell ringing) 322 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,880 - Oh! Hello, Dennis. - Hello, Mrs. Kelly. 323 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,880 - You look wonderful. - Thank you. 324 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,960 Oh. Oh, my! 325 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:45,520 Well, uh, it's good to see you, Dennis. What brings you by? 326 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,880 I wanted to bring you some chocolates. 327 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,160 - Thank you. - Do you mind if I come in? 328 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,720 Okay. 329 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,080 Oh, no. 330 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,000 - That son of a bitch. - I know it. 331 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:05,240 - No! No, he said he loved me. - How dare he do that? 332 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,120 I'm gonna stab him. 333 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,680 - I'm gonna stab his face off. - No. No, stabbing's bad. 334 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:14,480 You need to do something worse. Something much, much worse. 335 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:20,400 You gotta sleep with Charlie. (whimpers) 336 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,840 Shh. Shh, shh, shh. 337 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,720 I'm sorry, sweetie. I just don't find you sexually attractive. 338 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,120 Are you kidding me? You don't find me sexually attractive? 339 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,360 What in the hell is going on? What is wrong with you people? 340 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,880 I am sexually... 341 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,760 I am sexually attractive. 342 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:45,120 I am an attractive man. (sobs) 343 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,040 - Bam. - What the hell is that? 344 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,560 $443. 345 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,520 Listen, Mac, let's just end this right now. 346 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,040 I only slept with you to piss Frank off. 347 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,360 Afterward I felt like I was gonna throw up. 348 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,840 - Frank makes you want to throw up? - No. You're not listening. 349 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,160 It's you that makes me want to throw up. 350 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,120 Oh. So you don't want to be my girlfriend anymore? 351 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,400 - Jesus Christ. - Wait a second. Hold on. 352 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,920 Wait! I'm confused. So you don't want to be my girlfriend anymore? 353 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,120 - Hey. - Oh, shit! 354 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,000 No, Mac, it's okay. It's all right. 355 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,280 - Listen, uh... - Okay, let me explain. 356 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,720 No, no. I understand, okay? 357 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,520 - You do? - Yeah. 358 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,600 Look, I... I think I know how you're feeling. 359 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,080 Oh, man. That is such a relief. 360 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,240 Check this out. I... 361 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,520 - You've done well. - Thank you. 362 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,640 And your date with the waitress is all set up. 363 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,400 - That is so wonderful. - I have to ask you though. 364 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,920 How did you know that your mom wasn't gonna sleep with Dennis? 365 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,040 Hmm. 366 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,360 Guess I kind of overlooked that detail. Okay, time for phase three. 367 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,920 No, Charlie. You said there were only two phases. 368 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,360 This one's easy. 369 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,840 Okay. Phase three complete. 370 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,800 - It looks good? - You look really good. 371 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:25,960 - You sure? - Yes. 372 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,600 - You're all done? - I'm all done. You look great. 373 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,400 - Okay. Thanks for helping me out. - You're welcome. 374 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,040 The waitress is gonna be here soon. I'm gonna go back to bartending, 375 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,280 and you will go back to handling poo-poo. 376 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,720 - Okay. Phase four. - No! No. 377 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,240 - I got a quick phase four. - Charlie. 378 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,440 - Let me squeeze a phase four in. - I won't. You cannot... 379 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:41,800 - Just give me one little phase... - No. No. 380 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,040 - Okay, fine! It's over. Okay? - Thank you. 381 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,280 You are hereby released of all Charlie work. 382 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:54,200 Hey, guys, uh, can you do me a favor and not get too drunk? 383 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:57,040 All right? 'Cause I got some kegs that I need changing. 384 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,640 Uh, there's, like, you know what? There's rats down in the rat traps. 385 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,200 Hello, gang! 386 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,240 You're lookin' at the new Frank. Ooh! 387 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,480 #I've still got the moves 388 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,040 #I've still got what it takes# 389 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,520 - What the hell is she doing here? - "What the hell is she doing here?" 390 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,840 Really? Really. I'll tell you what I'm doing here. 391 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,120 You wanna know what I'm doing here, shit-for-brains? 392 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,800 I had sex with your dad. 393 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,680 That's right, I had sex with your father, 394 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,240 because, just like you, I like my sex old and ugly. 395 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,240 And with fake hair on their heads that falls off 396 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,000 when you're having sex with 'em. It just falls off, 397 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,280 because that's what you do, Dennis Reynolds. 398 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:41,000 You like to have sex with old people and you said that you loved me! 399 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,960 You said, "I love you" and so I thought, "Okay, I love you too". 400 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,480 How do you show love? You go and have sex with old people. 401 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,600 So that's what I did too!