1 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,000 Now keep in mind, we've been locked in this parking garage stairwell 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,640 for, like, 20 minutes, dude. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,520 Okay, so then we turn around, and what do we see? 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,640 A scary homeless dude. And I'm, like, "Oh, shit!" 5 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,960 You know, I'm like, "What do we... What do we do?" You know? 6 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,480 And then Mac, he's just like, "Just chill." And I'm like, 7 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,360 - "How do we chill, dude?" - "Shit! He's gonna talk now!" 8 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,520 Yeah. And I'm all like, "How do you know he's gonna talk, bro?" 9 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,280 And I'm like, "Because his mouth is opening." 10 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,200 - And then he did talk. - Yeah. And then he goes, 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,760 he goes, "I'll let you out of the stairwell 12 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,000 "'cause I have the key, because I'm the security guard instead." 13 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,280 - That's a cool story, huh? - Yeah, right? 14 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,360 Just so I'm clear on the story that you just told. 15 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:45,280 It was about you getting locked in a garage stairwell for 20 minutes. 16 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,800 And then a security guard came along and the security guard let you out. 17 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,480 Well, yeah. But it's how you tell the story that makes it good. 18 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,360 How you told the story was by far the worst part of the story. 19 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,000 You weren't even paying attention to us, dude. 20 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,640 All you were doing was playing on that stupid phone. 21 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,400 Why are you rubbing on the phone? Let me rub on it. 22 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,320 What are you doing? No, no, no! Hey, hey, Frank! 23 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,640 Get your greasy, fat, sausage fingers off my touch screen phone. 24 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,320 - This thing's new. - My fingers are not greasy. 25 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,240 Uh, you have four sausage links in your pocket right now. 26 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,760 Yeah, but I don't touch the sausage links. 27 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,760 Why should I do that when I can let my shirt do the work? Watch. 28 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,080 - No touching, and warm. (scoffs) - My God. You're an animal. 29 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,320 Guess what, boners? I just got a part in an M. Night Shyamalan movie. 30 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,440 - What? - Yeah. I'm a featured actress, 31 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,480 which means I'm gonna be featured in a scene. 32 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,000 - What's an M. Night? - Wow. Gross. 33 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,320 M. Night Shyamalan, the Indian filmmaker from Philly. 34 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,280 Oh, my God. This dude's a big deal, Frank. 35 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,520 He's like a true-to-life "Slumdog Millionaire". 36 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,160 - You know what I mean? - He always puts some awesome twists 37 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,680 at the end of his movies to trick the audience. 38 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,320 Oh, yeah, yeah, like in "The Sixth Sense". 39 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,120 You find out that the dude in that hairpiece the whole time... 40 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,320 That's Bruce Willis. The whole movie. 41 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,040 That's not the twist to that movie. 42 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,360 - That wasn't the twist? - No. I'll tell you about it later. 43 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,800 - There were a lot of twists. - Watch it again. 44 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,160 You know what? You're gonna need a very crafty agent 45 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,800 to squeeze everything out of this slumdog. 46 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,720 - I volunteer. - And I decline. 47 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,640 You are abusive and you smell like warm meat. 48 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,680 And I want you to leave me alone 'cause this is really important. 49 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,360 This is important for all of us, okay? 50 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,160 This is an opportunity for Charlie and I to get M. Night our script. 51 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,000 Since when do you and Charlie have a script? 52 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,640 Since you walked in here and said you were in that movie. 53 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,120 We're great storytellers. (chuckles) 54 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,760 No, God damn it! No, come on. Don't involve yourselves in this. 55 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,960 Dee, you involved us in this the second you walked in 56 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,560 and told us about the movie. 57 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,200 - Shouldn't have done that. - Let's get to work! 58 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,360 - Let's get some beer. Dude. - Yeah! 59 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:27,240 (music) 60 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,240 God damn it. 61 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,040 Whoa, whoa. Excuse me. Can I help you? 62 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,080 Nonfat, sugar free, vanilla soy latte. Three shots, no foam. 63 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,640 Also, why don't you let me in here so I can start my vocal warm-ups? 64 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,640 - I'm sorry. Who are you again? - Dee Reynolds, featured actress. 65 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,560 And could you send M. Night over also, 66 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,240 because I have a couple questions regarding the detes of my character. 67 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,600 Right. Says you're a featured extra. (clicks tongue) 68 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,400 Okay. Well, featured extra, featured actress. What's the difference? 69 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,040 Well, the difference is a featured actress usually auditions, 70 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,160 has lines, gets a trailer, whereas a featured extra 71 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,800 s a person whose head shot we pull off a pile, 72 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,720 has no lines and sits in that tent over there till we're ready for her. 73 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,920 - Okay? - Mmm. Okay. (tuts) 74 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,040 Where are we on the coffee situation, 75 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,400 because it's early and I am hungover. 76 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,520 - Go sit in the tent. Now. - This tent? 77 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,160 - That one. Thank you. - Are you sure? 78 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,520 CHARLIE: This is hard. 79 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:46,400 I mean, because I want the movie to be big, and a box office smash. 80 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,200 And we want to put, like, a lot of meat in the seats, you know? 81 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,280 Yeah. You know what I'm thinking, dude? You know what I'm thinking? 82 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,400 Something that's happening in Hollywood that's, like, pretty cool. 83 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,520 They take an underrated actor, right, whose career is in a slump, 84 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,160 and then they make him a star again. 85 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,280 Oh, that is awesome, right? Yeah, let's do that. 86 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,240 Yeah. So, who is the most underrated actor of all time? 87 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,120 - It's Dolph Lundgren. - Correct. Why? 88 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,640 Well, because of his spiky hair, his ice-cold demeanor 89 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,200 and his big muscles. - Absolutely. 90 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,120 Okay. All right. All right, so we have our actor. 91 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,600 Okay. That's great. Now we need a really great role for him. 92 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,040 Oh, you know what I was thinking? Scientists are cool. 93 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,800 What if he's a scientist? 94 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,240 Okay, okay. A muscular scientist. I'm into that. 95 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,640 As long as we don't cover up that body with a lab coat, bro. 96 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,080 No, dude. He's wearing, like, a hot mesh tank top. 97 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,640 I like that. Now does he, like, fight crime or something? 98 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,160 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He fights crime with his brain and his brawn. 99 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,080 Should we be writing this down? Let's get all this down. 100 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,760 (laughing) All right. This is good. All right. 101 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,080 - Okay. Brains... - Brawn... 102 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,560 - Brawn... - Muscles... 103 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,000 - Oh! Dude! - Yeah? 104 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,960 I just got a Shyamalan twist to put in this bad boy. 105 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,400 Okay. Lay it on me. 106 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,760 What if this scientist runs around on all fours? 107 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,360 Why would he run on all fours? 108 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,680 It's a science experiment with a dog that goes absolutely haywire. 109 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:59,640 Suddenly he wakes up with the ability to run around like a hound. 110 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:04,480 We're not making the lead of our big-budget action movie half dog! 111 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,520 No, not half dog. He's all dog. 112 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,440 Then why are we casting Dolph Lundgren? 113 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,760 That's the twist. Dolph Lundgren will be the voice of this dog. 114 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,000 That's not a twist! That's a completely different movie 115 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,640 about a talking-dog scientist with the voice of Dolph Lundgren! 116 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,240 All right. You know what? Check this out. 117 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,480 What if it's a man with a few dog-like qualities, 118 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,080 like a heightened sense of smell... 119 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,640 - Jesus Christ, Charlie. - Or licking... 120 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,640 Whoa, whoa. Wait a second. A heightened sense of smell? 121 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:35,000 - What if he can smell crime? - What if he smells crime? 122 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,720 - Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! - Yeah? 123 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,640 What if he can smell a crime before it even happens? 124 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,480 Holy shit, dude. That's amazing. Smells crime before it even happens! 125 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,120 Yes, dude! 126 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:47,040 What if his entire head is just one big nose? 127 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,800 Write that down! I like that! 128 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,600 He's one big nose on Dolph Lundgren's body. 129 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,200 Oh, shit! 130 00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,720 - Ho! - What? 131 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,440 No. No, no, no, no, no. What are you two doing here? 132 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,800 Well, since you've declined my offer to be your agent, 133 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,440 I've since taken on Dennis as a client. 134 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,320 Dennis has that "I don't give a shit" attitude, 135 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,360 which is perfect for Hollywood, right, Dennis? 136 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,200 (stammers) - I really don't care. - See? See? 137 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:15,960 Why do you want to be everybody's agent all of a sudden? 138 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,680 Because that's where the money is. What do you do? 139 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,520 You just put things together. You sit back, you collect 10%. 140 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,480 And you let the client do the work. Dennis doesn't give a shit. Right? 141 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,480 - Stop talking to me. - Perfect. 142 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,120 Okay. Well, you can't just walk in here and get a part in the movie. 143 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,640 It's not how it works. 144 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,200 - Excuse me, sir? - Yes? 145 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,200 Uh, could my client have a part in your movie? 146 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,880 - Sure. Here. Fill out this form. - You do it. 147 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,600 - I'll do it. - Unbelievable! 148 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,720 Hold on a second. Hey, hey. Assistant, hey. 149 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,840 Hi. When is somebody gonna tell me what my part is? 150 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,040 - What is your name again? - Dee Reynolds. 151 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,720 - I'm your featured... Extra. - Right. You're a corpse. 152 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,680 - A corpse? - Mmm-hmm. 153 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:52,560 A zombie roaming through the streets looking for brains kind of corpse? 154 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,680 - No. Like a dead corpse. - Just a dead corpse? 155 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,840 - Lifeless body lying in the street. - Okay. All right. 156 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,600 We'll call you when we're ready for makeup. 157 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,080 I have one more... Don't walk away from me. 158 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,960 - He just... He'll be back. - Dee. 159 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,080 Jesus, you come off so desperate. 160 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,720 - Oh! Hollywood! - Hollywood! Hollywood! 161 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,840 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! - Hey, guys. 162 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,600 Get out of here! What is that? What are you guys doing here? 163 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,560 - We in a Hollywood situation! - Yeah. 164 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,200 Dennis just got a part in the movie. 165 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,000 Sweet, dude. Bump it. Not gonna? All right. 166 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,320 So, uh... So where's the slumdog? We're ready for him. 167 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,160 - You finished the script already? - No, not exactly. 168 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,080 We didn't want to get locked into anything, 169 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,640 so we came up with a pitch instead. 170 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,160 It's more like a series of ideas in no particular order, you know? 171 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,760 Yeah. We'll work out the kinks later. 172 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,520 So you hit a brick wall, huh? Yeah. Uh... 173 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,360 Mmm. Dennis can help you with that. 174 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,280 He is good at coming up with awesome words. 175 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,840 - I wouldn't rule it out. - You have to sign him as producer. 176 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,200 Dennis? You want to be a producer? 177 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:45,640 - Yeah. - Sorry. 178 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,400 All right. We'll work out the detes later, man. 179 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,080 But maybe we gotta find, like, a cooler place? 180 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,440 Could we get a place with some AC going? 181 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,000 Leave it to me. 182 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,800 All right. You guys got 30 seconds. Blow my mind. 183 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,960 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Oh, oh, oh. 184 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,400 Guys, guys. It's the prequel to "The Sixth Sense". 185 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,480 "The Fifth Sense". The sense of smell. 186 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:12,200 Imagine a super ripped, super smart scientist in a mesh tank top 187 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:17,560 named Dr. Dolph Lundgren. - No. That's... That's not his name. 188 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,880 He's played by Dolph Lundgren, but that's not the character's name. 189 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,000 - It could be the character's name. - No, that's... 190 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,920 A doctor played by Dolph Lundgren named Dolph Lundgren? 191 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,720 - Yeah! - That's confusing, dude. 192 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,840 More confusing than making up an entirely new name for a person? 193 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,120 - That's gonna confuse people. - I'm taking over. 194 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,640 - You are losing me. - Okay. Okay. All right. 195 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,440 (in dramatic voice) Imagine a super smart, ripped scientist 196 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,680 played by Dolph Lundgren, 197 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,640 who, after a terrible accident in his lab, blows off his nose! 198 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,040 After reconstructive surgery, he soon realizes that 199 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,680 he smells something that stinks. 200 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,520 Crime. 201 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,560 (turns music off) This doctor smells crime? 202 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,280 Possibly also runs around like a hound. 203 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,680 - No! He doesn't run... - Don't rule it out. 204 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,240 - It's possible... - I didn't agree to that. 205 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,000 - It's not in any of our notes. - He might run around like a hound. 206 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,240 - What do you think? - Okay. First things first. 207 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,640 You guys gotta type some of this shit out and get organized. 208 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,040 Get your shit together. Come on. I mean, that's ridiculous. 209 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:19,440 Now in terms of the story, clearly it's brilliant. It's amazing. 210 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,560 - Great idea. Brilliant idea. - Thank you. 211 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,840 But there is one critical element that's missing. 212 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,360 It needs a sexual punch-up. 213 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,000 We need to get a female lead character in there 214 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,120 that Dolph can bang throughout the whole movie. 215 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,040 Yeah. I kind of hate women though. 216 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,120 I feel like they just slow action movies down too. 217 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,960 No, Mac. See, you're dead wrong on that. You're dead wrong. 218 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,520 See, one of the problems with Shyamalan's movies 219 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,400 s that they lack a certain eroticism. 220 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:44,800 What if we were to bring an incredibly hot but skeptical 221 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,640 female lab partner into the mix? 222 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,640 And then that way, whenever Dolph's not out busting heads 223 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,000 because he's smelled crime, he's back at the lab 224 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:55,320 performing sexual experiments on her supple, young body. 225 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,880 Now here's the twist. And there is a twist. 226 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,760 We show it. We show all of it. 227 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,480 What's the one major thing missing from all action movies these days? 228 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,320 Full penetration. 229 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:17,080 We're gonna show full penetration, and we're gonna show a lot of it. 230 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,440 I mean, we're talking, you know, graphic scenes of Dolph Lundgren 231 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,840 really going to town on this hot, young lab tech 232 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:27,360 from behind, 69, anal, vaginal, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl. 233 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,560 All the hits. All the big ones. All the good ones. 234 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,680 And then he smells crime again. He's out busting heads. 235 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,280 Then he's back to the lab for some more full penetration. 236 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,880 He smells crime. Back to the lab, full penetration. 237 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,400 Crime, penetration, crime, full penetration, crime, penetration. 238 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,360 And this goes on and on and back and forth for 90 or so minutes 239 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,000 until the movie just sort of ends. 240 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,480 That is brilliant! 241 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,360 That is the most brilliant movie I've ever heard in my life. 242 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,040 Audiences are gonna be very uncomfortable 243 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:05,120 seeing Dolph Lundgren's naked penis going into this young girl. 244 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,200 Yeah. Just to be clear though, I don't care either way. 245 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,120 - Well, it was worth it, you know... - 30 seconds. 246 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,680 Well, maybe we should type this stuff up, 247 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,920 and then, Frank, we'll be in touch. - Get it all together. 248 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,840 And think about the representation thing. 249 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,520 Definitely, dude. Definitely. 250 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,360 Okay. You don't have to rep him. You could just rep me. 251 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,360 All right. Let me just get all this stuff. 252 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,320 - Okay. Are we good? - Yeah. We're good. 253 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,720 - Go ahead, Charlie. - Okay. And we'll get... 254 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,320 Frank, I write better without him. Seriously. We'll talk about it. 255 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,760 - You know? Okay. (muttering) - Okay, cool. 256 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,440 MAC: "The Fifth Sense". Here we go. Here we go. 257 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,440 Write, write, write a couple words. 258 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,920 - "The Fifth..." - Dude, go faster. 259 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,800 - Hold on. Hold on. I can't... - Go faster. 260 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,240 Ah! I got it in my head. 261 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,200 - I can't type it fast enough. - You can't type it at all. 262 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,320 If I could type more better, then I think it would come out faster. 263 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,320 Maybe we should get somebody else who can type. 264 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,880 Look at her, dude. 265 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,120 Might be good to have an older lady in the mix, right? 266 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,000 Sort of a workhorse secretary? 267 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,920 Yeah. I don't care for her demographic. I find them judgmental. 268 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,480 You know what I mean? We need someone more our... 269 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,640 Hello. Check out this one over here. Does he look Indian to you? 270 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,360 Oh, yes, dude. 271 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,760 It would be great to have an Indian in our corner, right? 272 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,600 They're natural storytellers. They're great with twists. 273 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,640 Uh... Psst! Psst! Uh... Dude! 274 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,080 - Where are you from? - Baltimore. 275 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,800 (clicks tongue) - Right, right. - Baltimore, sure. 276 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,880 - Where are your parents from? - Jersey. 277 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,200 All right. Getting nowhere here. 278 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,160 - Uh, you're so... - Yeah, well, uh... 279 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,840 Is anyone in your family from India? 280 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,680 - Pakistan. - Pakistan. Now that's... 281 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,080 Well, isn't... A country somewhere, so... 282 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,040 What's the difference between that and... 283 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,120 Well, they're right next to each other, both countries. 284 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,000 That's perfect. That's close enough, dude. 285 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,440 Yeah, Pakistanis are probably great with twists too, 286 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,200 n their own kind of way, you know? 287 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,120 Great. How'd you like to be in the movie business? 288 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,760 Ma'am, how you doing on makeup in there? We're ready. 289 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,680 DEE: Well, I'm okay, but I feel like maybe 290 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,440 they used a little too much blood. 291 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,160 Ma'am, we need to move here. Let's go. Let's go. 292 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,640 My gut feeling is they went a little overboard. 293 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,320 I mean, can you even tell that it's me? 294 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,800 Yeah. It's perfect. 295 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,360 We just need to pair you up with a husband for the shot. 296 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,000 - Husband? - Yeah. How about this guy? 297 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,720 - That'll work. - That'll work. (cackles) 298 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,160 - Holy shit, Dee. - This is like... 299 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,880 Wow. I could barely tell that was you. 300 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,760 I mean, did they dip you by your heels into the blood? 301 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,760 That's ridiculous. That looks so stupid. 302 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,560 Frank had 'em go a little more subtle with me, 303 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,560 so you could see my face. - This? This is it? 304 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,240 How the hell did you manage that? 305 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,360 - No, I'm working my ass off. AD: Corpses, let's go now! 306 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,840 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Go on, go on, go on. 307 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,840 - Go on. Go on, will ya? - Whatever. 308 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,280 Everybody focus. Get down now. 309 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,320 Very simple shot. Lot to do today. Lot to do. 310 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,280 I need all corpses lying down. We are losing light, people. 311 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,520 - Turn over. I need you face down. - Face down? 312 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,920 No, 'cause then you won't be able to see my face. 313 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,400 Face down or in the pile of bodies over there. You pick it. 314 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,840 - Face down. - That's what I thought. 315 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,080 All right. Energy. Energy. 316 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,880 But you're dead. Dead energy. Dead energy. Here we go. 317 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,000 I get it. I get it. Okay, so he's on the edge of this cliff 318 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,920 throwing his nose off into the ocean because 319 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,680 he's at the happiest point of his life. 320 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,280 No, no. This is the scientist's lowest point in the movie. 321 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,760 Okay. Here. He throws his nose off the cliff into the ocean 322 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,840 because he's rejecting his life as a savior of all of mankind. 323 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,120 Oh, I finally just got it. 324 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,440 Oh, bro, that is... Bro, that is... 325 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,160 - Deep shit, man. - That's awesome. 326 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,680 - That's awesome. - It's nice. 327 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,240 Where are you landing on the full penetration? 328 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,800 I'm into it. Big time. 329 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,640 The Injun says yes... Snaking around. 330 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,520 - So that's what we're doing. - It's done. It's on. 331 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,960 But, but, but, I, I... I mean, the title? 332 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,760 - Oh, yeah. The title. - Title sucks. 333 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,200 - It's stupid, yeah. - Come on. 334 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,240 - "The Fifth Sense"? - I mean, stupid. 335 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,120 Who came up... Who came up with that? 336 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,360 - Stupid. - Come on, man. 337 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,040 So why don't you type out this whole movie real quick, 338 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,680 and we'll go sell it to Shyamalan. - Yeah. 339 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,120 Oh, no. I don't write. I'm a big picture kind of guy. 340 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,080 - You don't write. - You don't... Write. 341 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,840 (cell phone ringing) 342 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,760 - Hello? - Dennis, hey. 343 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,160 - We hit a wall on the pitch. - Uh, what pitch is that, man? 344 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,400 The pitch of the movie that you're a producer on. 345 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,600 Oh, yeah. That thing. Yeah. What's up with that? 346 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,320 We realized that none of us are writers, 347 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,160 so we decided to play to our strengths and make a poster. 348 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,480 What tells a person about a movie better than a picture 349 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,720 of what the movie is? What are your thoughts? 350 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,400 What are my thoughts? My thoughts are that's brilliant. 351 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:22,800 - I think it's cool. - Cut! 352 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,800 - What are you doing? - Were you guys rolling on that? 353 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,760 Yes. Do not talk on your phone during the shot. 354 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,560 - Okay? And you, ma'am? - Oh, me? 355 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,400 Do not roll over during the shot. 356 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,040 Oh, I know, but you know what? I thought about it. 357 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,840 I feel like it's better if I'm right side up. 358 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,600 - Back over. (mocking) - "Back over!" 359 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,680 "Face down on the hot cement!" 360 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,880 - Let's roll it again, people. - "Yeah, again!" 361 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,560 (machine gun fire) (explosions in distance) 362 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:54,240 Brains! Brains! (cell phone ringing) 363 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,280 Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! What the hell are you doing? 364 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,000 You. Why are you saying "brains"? What... 365 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,520 Oh, 'cause it's a zombie movie. 366 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,440 It's like the Shyamalan twist. I figured it out. 367 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,000 This is not a zombie movie. It's a movie about Serbian genocide. 368 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,760 (ringing continues) Really? Huh. 369 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,280 You! Sir! Yes, sir. Your phone, it's ringing. 370 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,840 Oh, yeah. I know. But listen, man. If you don't let me answer it 371 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,280 and solve my boys' problems, the phone's gonna ring. 372 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,080 You can't have it both ways. Can I talk or not? 373 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,800 Yeah. I gotta agree with him on that one, buddy. 374 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,320 You're not being very clear. Which is it? 375 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,200 Turn your phone off! You, miss! Don't improvise! Let's go! 376 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,520 Okay! You know what? 377 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,160 I have had about enough of you dicking me around all day. 378 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,640 Okay? Where is M. Night? I have questions for him. 379 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,520 Oh, no. Mr. Shyamalan isn't directing this unit. 380 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,000 This is a simple pickup shot. 381 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,560 Hold on a second. Hold on a second. 382 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,520 Where the hell is M. Night? He's not here? 383 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,360 - No. - What the hell's going on here? 384 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,040 Well, he won't get off his phone, for starters. 385 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,600 Give me your phone, Dennis. 386 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,040 - What? - Give me your phone. 387 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,200 - I heard that. - No, I'll tell you what's going on. 388 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,400 This guy's been treating me like a dickwad all day long, 389 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,920 and I don't appreciate it. AD: Ha, ha, ha! 390 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,160 - All right. I'm gonna fix it, hon. - Thank you. 391 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,480 Fire both of them and I'll take their spot. 392 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,200 - What? - Done. You're both fired. 393 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,040 Hold on a second. What are you talking about, Frank? 394 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,520 Being an agent is crap. I want to be an extra, lay around doing dick. 395 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,920 Great. Both of you, get your shit out of the tent. Get out of here. 396 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,680 All right, fine. Hey, give me my phone back, Frank. 397 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,560 Just to be clear, pal. I don't care about any of this. 398 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,120 I got my own thing going on, so... 399 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,080 (groans) I just gave you the old Shyamalan twist. 400 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,760 Oh, maybe you did, maybe you didn't, but I'll tell you what. 401 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,920 I don't care either. 402 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,360 All right. What do I do? 403 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,960 Hey-oh! 404 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,520 Hey, where is he, dude? Where's Night? 405 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,400 We got it! Dude, we totally got it. 406 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,040 Brace yourself! Brace yourself! 407 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:32,400 "Crime STINKS: The Smell of Penetration. 408 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,840 "He nose the truth." 409 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,440 - Oh, okay, yeah. I get it. - Get it? 410 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,800 Yeah, I, I get it. Now, there is a lot going on there with Dolph. 411 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,400 We had to make some artistic compromises. 412 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,040 I think we're good with the body. 413 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,960 Yeah, but it's a lovable character. It's a lovable guy. 414 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,640 You know, these are good compromises. 415 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,480 Bottom line, M. Night's gonna love it. 416 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,480 - So where is he? - Night? 417 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,040 Oh, he's not here. 418 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,640 Jesus Christ, Dee. What happened to you? 419 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,600 He brought in a B team or something like that, covered me all in blood. 420 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,720 That slumdog bastard twisted all of us! 421 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,640 Oh, shit, dude. We need him to execute our script. 422 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,520 Actually, you guys don't need Shyamalan to execute your script 423 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:07,080 because I've got the mother of all Shyamalan twists in my hand here. 424 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,160 You see, you think I've just been playing 425 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,160 with my phone the whole time, but you're wrong. 426 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,080 Been writing a little movie script of my own, 427 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,120 and I finished it right before you guys called. 428 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,480 It's a horror movie about two men trapped in a garage stairwell 429 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,240 who get hunted down by a psychotic, homeless killer 430 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,880 who turns out to be a security guard instead. 431 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,080 - That's our story, dude. - Damn right, it's your story. 432 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,440 And that's why you two guys are gonna be attached as producers. 433 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,520 - Nice, baby! - Producers! 434 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,920 - All right! - I feel like that's... 435 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,320 - I'm a natural born producer. - I love showbiz, dude. 436 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,080 - Uh, can I be in it? - Uh, you know, normally, Dee, 437 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,800 I would take this opportunity to insult you, 438 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,800 but I'm gonna throw an insane twist your way. 439 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,680 - You're gonna be the lead. - I am? Really? 440 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,920 No, you're not. Twisted again! Boom! Try and keep up. 441 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,360 Lot of twists. Lot of twists in this thing, so try and keep up. 442 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,200 There's so many twists, I can't even follow it. 443 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,560 I'm gonna pull up the first scene right now, 444 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,840 so you guys can get a taste of what else is going on in this film. 445 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,360 Uh, for some reason the phone is frozen... 446 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,640 ...and I'm having a little trouble pulling up the scene. 447 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,040 It's frozen. And why is there grease all over... 448 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,360 Is this Frank's goddamn sausage grease? 449 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,520 Frank, you froze my phone with your sausage greasy fingers! 450 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,920 Frank, you son of a bitch! 451 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:19,560 (machine gun fire) (explosions in distance) 452 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,160 AD: Cut! Cut! For the love of Christ!