1 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,520 Good morning, Philadelphia. 2 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,400 With us today is Frank Reynolds, 3 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,080 local business owner and a man with a harrowing story. 4 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,240 That's right. 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,880 A few days ago, three thugs tried to mug me. 6 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,920 And I want to be very clear about something. 7 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,680 Um, Mr... 8 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,240 These pieces of garbage, they don't know who they're dealing with. 9 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,080 Mr. Reynolds, excuse me. Maybe you could eat that sandwich later? 10 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,240 I'm starving. 11 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,360 You don't have nothing to eat in this show. 12 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,920 - Let's get back to your story. - Right, so these punks... 13 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,560 I don't know if they wanted money or something more sexual. 14 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,520 But it's a lucky thing I had my pieces. 15 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,480 - Your, your pieces? - My guns. 16 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,320 - Oh, my. - Anyway, I started blasting. Bah! 17 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:48,080 I don't see so good, so I missed. They ran away, I ran after them. 18 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,720 Bang! Tried to shoot them in the back, 19 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,360 but I don't run so good either. 20 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,680 Anyway, you guys all think I'm a hero, 21 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,840 and I'll accept that responsibility. 22 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,920 Weren't you concerned though that an innocent bystander may have... 23 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,560 Look, crime in this city is out of control. 24 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:07,280 Thank God I went down to Gunther's Guns and picked up a spare. 25 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,520 I don't think one would've done it. I'm gonna go out and buy some more. 26 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,680 - Okay. - And I think you should, too. 27 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,840 Don't be a victim. It's time to fight back. 28 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,560 - This is crazy. - Completely insane. 29 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:19,720 It's driving me nuts. 30 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,680 The whole gun thing, it just makes me really hot. 31 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,760 It's a hot issue and I'm getting hot about it, too. 32 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,520 This is good, we're all hot at the same time. 33 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,600 - We should do something. - Our schools aren't safe. 34 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,560 There are people on the streets with assault rifles? 35 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:30,920 We're living in constant fear! 36 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,000 Guys, we got to get more guns on the streets! 37 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,760 - Abso... - Yeah! Wait, what? 38 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,520 We got to get more guns onto the streets. 39 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,000 We got to get guns in the right hands. We're not safe. 40 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,560 - That's what you're hot about? - Didn't you hear what Frank said? 41 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,720 What are you hot about? 42 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,560 There are too many guns on the streets as it is. 43 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,040 Guns off the streets is what we need. 44 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,880 It's way too easy for anybody to walk into a store and get a gun. 45 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,160 No, it's not. It getting harder and harder. 46 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,920 The government's trying to take our guns away. 47 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,160 It's way harder than you think. 48 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,320 We're hot about the complete opposite. 49 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,560 - Shoot. - It's a bummer. 50 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,520 I thought we were on the same page for once. 51 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:00,680 (clicking tongue) 52 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,400 - Still very hot though. - Yeah. 53 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,160 I'm even hotter if I'm being honest. 54 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,320 Still hot. 55 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:10,800 (music) 56 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,800 - Good call on these outfits, dude. - It's the only call. 57 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:33,960 You know what I mean? 58 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,320 Like, you need a guy in a school that even from a mile away, 59 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,480 the school shooter sees that guy and says, "Uh-uh." 60 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:43,960 - "I ain't messing with that dude." - "I'm not going near that school." 61 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:48,000 Gentlemen, I understand that you would like to... 62 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,280 You... How, how did you find me? 63 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,720 - Oh, shit, I know this dude. - Who, who's this? 64 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,280 This guy was the principal at the high school 65 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,240 where I was doing the janitor thing. 66 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,200 Right, so why are you at a middle school now? 67 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,760 Well, I was... I was transferred. 68 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,200 I have tenure, so they couldn't actually fire me, 69 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,840 which was, of course, their first choice, thanks to you. 70 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,720 Let's not throw barbs at each other. 71 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,280 We're actually here for a good cause. 72 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,840 We want to protect this school. 73 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,680 we want to be the armed security guards. 74 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,720 - I brought a piece. We're good. - Hey, hey, hey, no, no! 75 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,480 - Calm yourself. - No, you got to... no... 76 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,840 - It's not currently loaded. - That's not the... Put it away. 77 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,000 MAC: I hear you, buddy. 78 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,160 I would not want to be around this guy with a gun either. 79 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,400 He has got a hair trigger. 80 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,040 One little move and he'll start blasting. 81 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,200 Bullshit. 82 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,160 The point is, he shouldn't have a gun in a school 83 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,520 n the first place anyway. 84 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,160 - Guns do not belong in schools. - No, they do not. Yes. 85 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:38,440 - That is why I brought a saber. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 86 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,680 Which is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life, 87 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,920 because how are you gonna stop a gunman with that? 88 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,360 He's gonna get you from a distance. 89 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,320 If I come at you, I'll get to you faster. 90 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,160 We have been arguing about this all day. 91 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,640 - Because it's insanity. - Maybe you can be the judge. 92 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,000 - I don't want... - Here we go. 93 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,160 I'm gonna holster my weapon, he'll holster his weapon. 94 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,520 I'll do a one, two, three count, you tell us who goes faster. 95 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:58,880 Please don't do this in here. 96 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,160 This is the only way to tell. 97 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,120 And then we can protect your school, but we got to go one step at a time. 98 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,480 I mean, for God's sake... 99 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,840 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry, sorry. 100 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,520 Look out! (gun clicking) 101 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,840 CHARLIE: Ah. I guess I do have a hair trigger. All right. 102 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,840 DENNIS: Look at all these maniacs. 103 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,120 Goddamn bloodthirsty freaks walking in off the street. 104 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,280 So easy for anybody to just waltz in and buy a gun. 105 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,840 Let's do it. Let's buy assault rifles 106 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,800 and just prove to Mac and Charlie how easy it is. 107 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,560 We're gonna. Hi, how are you, sir? 108 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,520 Howdy, I'm Gunther. What can I do for you? 109 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,160 Oh, Gunther himself, purveyor of destruction. 110 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,800 I would like to buy a man destroyer from you, please. 111 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,560 Yeah, nice to meet you, Gunther. 112 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,040 Maybe you could recommend something that could blow a hole 113 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,200 through an elephant. 114 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,280 'Cause I need that for my home protection. 115 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:43,440 Yeah. 116 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,480 I guess you're looking at an AR-15. 117 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,240 Look at that. Yeah, that's great. 118 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,400 Theoretically, Gunther, would I be able to slaughter 119 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,680 a roomful of innocent people with that weapon? 120 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,600 - Brother, that'd be on you. - That would be on me, wouldn't it? 121 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,560 Yeah, that wouldn't be on you at all. 122 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,200 - But here you go. - But here you go. 123 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,960 Great, we'll take one of those, please. 124 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,840 - How much would that be? - That's $1,500. 125 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,600 Woof! $1,500 for the privilege, okay. 126 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,080 Hey, what is your... What is your return policy? 127 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:10,560 Thirty days, no charge. 128 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,720 - All right. - Ooh, 30 days, sounds fair. 129 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,680 My goodness, Dennis, this feels good. 130 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:15,960 Feels good in my hands. 131 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,200 (both making machine gun noises) 132 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,120 - Good! My kids are safe. - I saved everyone! 133 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,000 - Yeah, my yard's protected. - So, of course, it feels good. 134 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,640 That only proves our point even more. 135 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,880 - We'll take two of these, Gunther. - Great. 136 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,240 I'll need your licenses for the background checks. 137 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,480 - Okay, yeah. - You can drive, you can kill! 138 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,640 (both laugh) Oh, Christ, look at this. 139 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,720 - Oh, God. - Oh, shit, I love this guy. 140 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,840 ...become a bit of a local lightning rod 141 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,600 - in these gun debates here. - Exactly. 142 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,640 - Gun sales have skyrocketed. - We're running out of guns. 143 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,800 We have to manufacture more guns. Supply is not meeting the demand. 144 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:51,960 Can we... Can we cut? 145 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,440 Will my hands look this small on the screen? 146 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:55,600 We're live, sir. 147 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,760 I thought the camera would add ten pounds to my hands, 148 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,400 and I don't like the way they look. 149 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,080 Your hands look fine. Put them down. 150 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,240 This is Jack Kelly. He's my attorney. 151 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,280 He specializes in Constitutional Law. 152 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,040 Our rights are being infringed upon. 153 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,880 And people like my client won't take it anymore. 154 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,520 The Constitution guarantees our Second Amendment rights. 155 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,560 And these liberals like Al Gore, they're trying to take that away 156 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,640 from us with this global warming bullshit. 157 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,800 So, you see the two issues as related somehow? 158 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,960 Damn right. 159 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,400 The government of today has no right telling us how to live our lives, 160 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,840 because the government of 200 years ago already did. 161 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,280 - Yeah. - Oh, okay. 162 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:37,320 They also protected us from tyranny against the seizure of tasteful, 163 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,960 artistic photographs of beautiful bodies. 164 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,120 Not now, Jack. 165 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,080 That same government wants to come into our home, 166 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,240 tell us what is and what is not art? 167 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:46,680 That's not right! 168 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,440 I'm gonna try and keep things on track here, so... 169 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,280 Get out and get those guns before they run out, 170 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,240 and the government changes the laws. 171 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,400 (cheering, applause) All right! Yeah! 172 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,760 These idiots are buying this? 173 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,800 DENNIS: It's crazy. - What is going on? 174 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,160 - That was fast. - You've been denied. 175 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,240 What? That's ludicrous. Why? 176 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:09,200 It says here you have an extensive history of felonious behavior. 177 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,680 There have been incidents, sure, yeah, a few minor indiscretions, 178 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,040 but, you know, I'm simply a person of interest 179 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,680 n most of those cases, all right? 180 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,960 Being "wanted" and being "wanted for questioning" 181 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,720 are very different things, Gunther. 182 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,280 And you've been institutionalized. 183 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,240 - Me? - She... she... Yeah. 184 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,120 I mean, one time, for a short period of time. 185 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,760 That was against my will. That doesn't even really count. 186 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,320 That's the only time it counts, Dee. 187 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,280 Look, it was, like, a teeny thing that happened 188 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,440 with a college roommate, it was really no big deal. 189 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,000 - Says here you burned her. - I burned her, yeah. 190 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,080 But... (laughs) She was so annoying. 191 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,440 I mean, it... She deserved it, okay? 192 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,800 She was wearing my stuff, and she was copying me, and... 193 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:46,960 You were copying her. 194 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,440 I was, she was, it doesn't matter. 195 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,280 Look, I'm sorry, but I can't sell you the guns. 196 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:52,760 - Oh, God. - Well, look at you. 197 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,000 Oh, Gunther the morality king. 198 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,560 "Hi, I'm Gunther, I've never lit anybody on fire before." 199 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,520 You light one bitch on fire, and everybody freaks out! 200 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,080 Oh, you son of a bitch. 201 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,320 - It was one time and one thing... - Relax. 202 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,360 (yells wildly) 203 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,520 Okay, take it easy. There are other ways to buy guns 204 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,680 where people don't go snooping around in your past. 205 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,960 Listen, pal... you just made my list. 206 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,440 Your "list"? 207 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,480 Yeah, I have a... 208 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,120 - Shh. - Whatever, let's just go. 209 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,040 - How is that tasteless? It's art. - Get that out. 210 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,200 - Get that out. - You can't even see the child... 211 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,360 We'll be right back. 212 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,120 Weather, traffic and a trip to the zoo, coming right up. 213 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,320 Charlie, I'm gonna demonstrate to you how to thwart an attack. 214 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,480 Pretend that this dummy is a school shooter. 215 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,920 I want you to stand back, 'cause I don't want you to get hurt. 216 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,760 Before he can draw his weapon... 217 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,280 Hie-aught! Hup, hut, hut! Hie! 218 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,080 How awesome was that? 219 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,560 Yeah, that's pretty awesome, 220 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,720 but I feel like he would've shot you from a mile away. 221 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:50,880 No, he wouldn't, 222 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,040 because you saw how I was zigzagging and making sounds? 223 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,200 It was distracting. 224 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,760 But did you ever see "Indiana Jones", 225 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,000 where the guy does the sword thing and he shoots him dead? 226 00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,840 Are you asking me if I've seen "Indiana Jones"? 227 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,280 Are you seriously asking me? I've seen that movie... That's my... 228 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,160 - You're not understanding. - Do you remember it? 229 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,400 Yes. But if I were to come at you, it's all about how I... 230 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,560 (gun clicking) 231 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,120 In that circumstance, maybe you got there a little bit faster. 232 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,480 - But if I... - I got you again. 233 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,240 What if I zigzag like this? 234 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,120 - It's so easy to get you. - That's not necessarily... 235 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,200 - I don't think that that's... - Hold on a second. 236 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,440 CHARLIE: Look at this kid. 237 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,680 Ooh, he's wearing all black, he's walking by himself. 238 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,320 What do you think he's doing on the phone? 239 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:27,560 I'll tell you exactly what. 240 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,520 He's playing those games where you shoot everyone. 241 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,080 I'm gonna profile this guy really quick. 242 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,040 - Excuse us. Son, sorry, hold up. - Hey, kid. Stop. 243 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,800 - What are you doing on the phone? - None of your business. 244 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,640 (whistles) A sass-mouth. That's a red flag. 245 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,680 Son, you were asked a question by an adult. 246 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,320 You've been asked a question, all right? 247 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,400 We're trying to ensafen your school here, okay? 248 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:47,360 And you're acting like a punk? Let me see the phone. I want to see. 249 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,520 Oh! He's killing zombies! I'm taking this. 250 00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:51,880 - What the hell, man? - Hey, you're getting off easy! 251 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,520 - Now get to school. - Go to school. 252 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,760 - Just know we're watching you. - Go to class. 253 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,320 - Be careful. - Look, this is a red flag. 254 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,560 These are the kids that are the threats to society, 255 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,720 the ones playing the violent video games, man. 256 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,960 - I play violent video games. - I also play violent video games. 257 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,600 - I watch violent movies. - Violent movies are the best. 258 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,760 - And I don't want to kill people. - No, I mean... All right, this... 259 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,440 It's not really the best way to tell who's gonna be a threat or... 260 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,600 - What is going on out here? - Nothing, thanks to us, bro. 261 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,080 Well, are, are you stealing kids' cell phones? 262 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,640 Stealing? No. I've been confiscating them as potential evidence. 263 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,600 Are you aware that you're holding children up with a gun and a sword? 264 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,760 You need to stay off of school property. 265 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,600 Sir, we are not on the school property. 266 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,640 - We're outside of the fence. - We're on the sidewalk. 267 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,000 You need to stay 1,000 yards away from school property. 268 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,680 We're trying to keep the school safe! 269 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:38,840 I know, well, yeah. 270 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,720 We would all feel a lot safer if you were further away. 271 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,080 - I'm taking this guy out. - Hey, settle! Settle, settle! 272 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,280 Settle. Settle down. 273 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,560 Would you please stop pointing that gun at me? 274 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,520 (gun clicks) The school is safe, thanks to us. 275 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:52,680 Here's the damn phone. 276 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,560 If you could just get away from the school and the children. 277 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,120 Just stay away from the children. 278 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,760 - Have a good day, sir. - Thank you. 279 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,040 - Have a good day. - Go. 280 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,200 - We're leaving! - We're leaving, we're leaving. 281 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,920 You know, Charlie, if we can't be in the school zone, 282 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,160 maybe we need to train somebody who can be. 283 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,880 You know, someone you'd never suspect could stop a shooter. 284 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:14,480 I got an idea. 285 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:27,240 And here we are, Dee, at a gun show. 286 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,480 - Lowest common denominator. - Is that a bazooka? 287 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,720 Insanely dangerous, this place is. It's crazy. 288 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,720 Look at this guy. He'll probably sell us a gun. 289 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,760 Excuse me, sir. I would like to buy a gun from you. 290 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,920 Something that is unnecessarily powerful, 291 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,680 something you'd never need in Philadelphia. 292 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,560 But you know what you shouldn't do though, 293 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,520 s look into our very sketchy pasts. 294 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,280 - No. (laughs) - It's not a problem. 295 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,640 We all got a sketchy past. (laughs) 296 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,120 - Oh, genuine creep. Wonderful. - Perfect. 297 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,880 Hey, sir, could you please sell us this AR-15? 298 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,160 Despite, you know, who or what we plan to obliterate with it. 299 00:11:58,320 --> 00:11:59,720 And don't ask questions, okay? 300 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,160 We just want to prove to our friends 301 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,800 how easy it is to buy a high-capacity rifle. 302 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,360 - Absolutely. - All right, man, great. 303 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,280 So give this guy his 1,500 bucks, 304 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,120 and we'll saunter out of here with a weapon of mass extinction. 305 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,960 - Three grand. - What? I'm sorry. 306 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,120 - That's $3,000. - No, not for this. 307 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,160 No, no, no. At Gunther's it's $1,500. 308 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,920 (laughs) This ain't Gunther's. 309 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,840 - This is a price gouge? - Oh, my. 310 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,200 - That's illegal. - I'm a private seller. 311 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,040 That means I can do whatever I want. 312 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,200 - Shit. - That's fine. 313 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,560 - We'll buy it and return it. - All sales are final. 314 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,920 I'll show you what's final, you redneck son of a bitch! 315 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,560 I will burn you alive like the last bitch who crossed me! 316 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,600 All right, Dee. That's not getting us anywhere. 317 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,440 - She's hot. - I went hot real fast. It happened. 318 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,000 Our crew's been hot lately. 319 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,360 We're trying to cool down, but you're not making it any easier. 320 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,120 DENNIS: Listen, I want this gun, pal. 321 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,560 It's easy to buy a gun and I need to prove that to some people, 322 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,840 so give me the gun at a fair price, and do it now. 323 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,000 $4,000. 324 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,640 - Shit! - Four thou... $4,000? Really? 325 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,880 I'll tell you what. (cocks gun) How about I just take it? 326 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,440 'Cause I'm a maniac with a gun, 327 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,600 and there's nothing you can do about it. (chuckles) 328 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,840 (guns cocking) (Dee gasps) 329 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,920 Oh. Oh, oh. 330 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,280 - Okay. - Oops. (laughs) 331 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,640 Putting the gun down now. 332 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,720 Okay, this is just a... Just an exercise... 333 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:16,840 to prove how unsafe it is... for everyone to have guns, okay? 334 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,600 But I see now that I was the maniac with the gun. 335 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,840 And you all made it safer... in here. 336 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,320 - Yeah. - Good for you. 337 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,360 Our bad for this experiment. 338 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,200 MAC: Thank you for joining us. 339 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,960 I know you may not see yourself as a solution to a national problem. 340 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,040 You might not think you have the ability, 341 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,400 but believe me, you were... 342 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,960 You were carefully selected. 343 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,240 And with a little hard work and a whole lot of training, 344 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,400 we can help you keep your school safe. 345 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,960 Are there any questions? 346 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,880 - Yo, can I get some beer? - No beer. 347 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,240 We said it a million times. 348 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,680 How many times do we have to be through this? No beer, okay? 349 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,040 You know, you can't drink beer and be effective. 350 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,600 But you guys had, like, five. 351 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,960 Don't count beers, Carlos. Not cool. 352 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,240 And by the way, Carlos, I've had six. 353 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,600 - And I've had seven. - So don't be a rat, okay? 354 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,880 And if you are gonna be a rat, get it right. 355 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,600 No more questions. In fact, no more questions. 356 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,360 You guys asked for the questions. 357 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,520 - Shut up, Carlos! - Carlos, shut up! 358 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,480 MAC: The time for questions is over. It's now time for learning. 359 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,360 You're impeding on your own safety. 360 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,520 Okay, now my friend and I have been arguing all day 361 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,400 about the efficacy of swords versus guns. 362 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,920 Okay? So we met in the middle. 363 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,400 Now if you look under your seat, 364 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,760 you'll see that each of you has been provided a weapon 365 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,520 that you could easily find in your own classroom. 366 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,520 Some of you may have compasses, others, sharp pencils. 367 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,280 CHARLIE: Okay, there are forks in the cafeteria, 368 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,160 there's piano wire from the music room. 369 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,840 You need to learn how to make every single item in your school 370 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,880 a potentially life-threatening weapon. 371 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,640 CHARLIE: Look at the person next to you. 372 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,880 - That person wants to take you out. - Safety is the name of the game. 373 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,840 - It's all about safety. - Let's take it slow. 374 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,880 We're gonna take this in a safe and orderly fashion. 375 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,880 Are you ready to begin? 376 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,640 - Okay. - Guys, let's have a little fun. 377 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,720 FIVE MINUTES LATER 378 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,680 (kids yelling) Shut it, shut it, shut it! 379 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,240 Those, those kids are maniacs! 380 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,000 I think they're all in gangs or something! 381 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,760 There's a lot of score settling going on! 382 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,120 We created a "Hunger Games" type scenario in there. 383 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,280 Imagine if they had guns! 384 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,320 Oh, it'd be a disaster! An absolute disaster! 385 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,880 These kids are all too violent. It's ingrained in them or something. 386 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:28,240 We've been singing the wrong tune. Society is getting more savage. 387 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,200 We need to get the weapons out of their hands! 388 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,560 We should call the cops, the only people who should have guns! 389 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,240 They got to calm this down before someone gets killed. (door banging) 390 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,920 Oh, shit, Charlie, I got to admit something. I'm bleeding pretty bad. 391 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,080 One of the kids got you? 392 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,160 I nicked myself back in the principal's office 393 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:42,920 just trying to unholster my weapon. 394 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,080 Jesus, man. 395 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,040 I didn't want to say anything 'cause it was embarrassing. (door bangs) 396 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,000 - Can I go to the hospital? - Yeah, let's go. Go, go, go. 397 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,960 (over radio) FRANK: First they disarm us, then they oppress us. 398 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,800 So I want you to get every gun you can buy 399 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,560 and bring it to 17th and JFK, 400 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,920 and we're gonna march on City Hall. 401 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,080 And bring whatever guests you want, 402 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,240 regardless of age or whatever restriction 403 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,000 the government puts on our expression of beauty. 404 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,280 FRANK: Get the guns and bring them down to City Hall. 405 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,840 - You better believe I'll be there. - I know you'll be there. 406 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,520 - Bring your kid. You have kids? - Yes, of course. 407 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,120 - Bring them. - I mean, come on. 408 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,960 He's really going off the deep end, Dee. 409 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,720 I don't know. I hate to admit it, Dennis, but he's got a point. 410 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,200 It doesn't seem like it's all that easy to buy an assault rifle. 411 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,360 - Don't you start with that shit. - I'm sorry. 412 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,200 It is incredibly easy to buy an assault rifle, 413 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,480 and I'm gonna prove to you how easy it is right now. 414 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,960 Okay, here comes our guy. 415 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:36,840 No. 416 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,800 - Hi. - You got my money? 417 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,680 (scoffs) You got my people-killer? 418 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,600 - Right here. - Oh. That's the stuff, baby. 419 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,960 Now, I got $1,500, which is the fair asking price. 420 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,600 I hope that's okay. 421 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,160 - Yeah. Give it to me. - All right. There you go. 422 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,480 All right, now, I'm not really totally comfortable 423 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,520 rolling the window down, I'm sure you understand why. 424 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,160 I'm just gonna pop the trunk and you can throw it in there. 425 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,320 - Back there? - Yeah. 426 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,480 - In the trunk? - Yeah. 427 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,640 Okay, I got you. 428 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,520 You see how easy that is, Dee? 429 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,160 You just give a man $1,500 and he gives you an assault rifle. 430 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,640 - Ooh, ooh. - Where's he going? 431 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,680 - He appears to be sauntering off. DENNIS: Don't do... 432 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,640 Sir, I gave you the $1,500. Don't saunter away. I'm try... 433 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,080 - That's not fair! - No, it's not! Stop right now! 434 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,720 Listen, you stop in your tracks! 435 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,680 - Dennis, go stop him. - Denni... 436 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,640 Go stop? The man has an assault rifle! 437 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,240 - What am I supposed to do? - Shit! 438 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,480 DENNIS: I can't buy one! 439 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,280 The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun 440 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,160 s a good guy with a gun, which we can't get! 441 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,400 Goddamn son of a bitch Frank, you were right! 442 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,040 DENNIS: Frank was right! - Shit! 443 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,200 (tires screech) 444 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:38,760 (door opens) 445 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,960 Where's Frank? We're hot. We're coming in super hot! 446 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,720 - You guys hot? - You guys are still hot? 447 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,080 - The whole thing's hot, man! - I'm burning up right now! 448 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,440 MAC: It's a crazy situation! We're on your side now! 449 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,080 We got to get these guns off the streets! 450 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,240 Boo-yah! 451 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,280 - What? No. - Off the streets? Are you crazy? 452 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,640 We need the guns on the streets! DENNIS: Everyone needs guns! 453 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,600 We need to flood the streets with guns! 454 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,480 - To stay safe. - Oh, shit. 455 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,320 I mean, I think, uh... (exhales) 456 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,280 I think we crossed right past each other. 457 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,040 - Like ships in the night. - We flip-flopped. 458 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,920 We're on the opposite side now. That side makes no more sense to me. 459 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,960 If we could've just met up, like, two hours ago... 460 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,320 DENNIS: There's Frank. Frank! 461 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,080 Is that a box of guns? What is that? 462 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,640 Guns? No. Water filters. 463 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,080 - Water filters? - All right, guys, load 'em in. 464 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,000 Very nice. 465 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,440 Frank, why do you have a truck full of water filters? 466 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,120 You know what? I don't give a shit. Let's get down to that rally. 467 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:27,280 - Rally? DENNIS: Yeah. 468 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,160 Yes, the freedom rally. The one you organized. 469 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,200 Ooh, shit, I'm not gonna go down there. 470 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,880 It's gonna be a bunch of nuts with guns. Too dangerous. 471 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,440 Hold on a second. What's going on? I thought you were into guns. 472 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,480 Why have you been on TV talking about all that shit? 473 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,640 I bought a stake in Gunther's Guns. I got everybody angry and scared. 474 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,480 They bought the guns, I made a fortune. 475 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,320 Oh, my God. This is crazy. 476 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,480 So you don't give a shit about the gun issue at all? 477 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,720 I mean, what the hell? You're like the NRA. 478 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,600 Yeah, a little bit like the NRA. Little tiny bit. 479 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,240 But I, I think of myself more like Al Gore. 480 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,800 You know, he got everybody worked up over global warming. 481 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,240 Then he made millions. 482 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,560 Yeah! Everybody does it. 483 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,720 Liberals, conservatives, doesn't matter. 484 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,960 This is America, you're either a duper or a dupee. 485 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,840 I'm a duper. You guys are the dupees. 486 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,240 - I got to go. - Where you going now? 487 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:18,000 With us now is local community activist, Frank Reynolds, 488 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,240 with a terrifying statistic. Frank? 489 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,480 - Yes. Thank you, Chet. - You're welcome. 490 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:28,040 Do you know that 90% of your water is 100% toxins? 491 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,480 Who knows what the other 10% is? 492 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,640 - It's probably far worse. - It's really worse. 493 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,200 I have a water filter for you 494 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,680 that you need to put in every single home. 495 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,440 It will protect you and your entire family. 496 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,000 You can even give that water to your babies. 497 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,160 Wow. 498 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:48,240 Well, babies, look out, because this next segment is just for you. 499 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,280 Don't turn that channel. Your life may depend upon it. 500 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,040 Got to give it to him. He is good. 501 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,520 - That son of a bitch. - It's good. 502 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:55,680 - Goddamn. - Yeah. 503 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,560 (sighs) 504 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,520 I think I'm gonna get one of those water filters. 505 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,280 - I do kind of want one. - For safety. 506 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,640 - He does make some good points. - The water's toxic. 507 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,080 - I mean, it is. - Yeah. 508 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:10,440 (music)